Our personal journeys with Mental Health | Podcast E10
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- We Were Told We Should Do A Podcast - Episode 10
TRIGGER WARNING: The episode contains discussions about mental health, including chats regarding depression, anxiety, and OCD - listener discretion is advised. You can find helpful resources below.
All three of us have had difficult experiences with our mental health. We discuss how we've been affected and what did and didn't help in the hopes that it may help someone listening feel less alone. A gentle reminder that we are not mental health professionals and these experiences are strictly from our personal life experiences. Please do not hesitate to seek help with the resources below if discussions in this episode are triggering for you.
Please note: since this podcast goes out to people from all around the world, we have included global resources. Please check with your local health authority for country specific resources.
Global Helplines:
Befrienders Worldwide:
Provides emotional support worldwide. Visit their website to find a helpline in your country: befrienders.org
International Suicide Hotlines:
A comprehensive list of suicide hotlines around the world: suicide.org
Your Life Counts:
An international resource for suicide prevention: yourlifecounts.org
Crisis Text Lines:
Crisis Text Line (Global):Offers free, confidential support via text messaging. Text "HELLO" to 741741 from anywhere in the world.
Online Therapy Platforms:
BetterHelp:
Offers online counseling and therapy services globally: betterhelp.com
Talkspace:
Provides online therapy with licensed professionals, accessible internationally: talkspace.com
Global Mental Health Organizations:
World Health Organization (WHO):
The mental health section of WHO provides global resources and information: who.int/mental_health
Mental Health Europe:
A regional network promoting mental health and well-being: mentalhealtheurope.eu
Language-Specific Hotlines:
Samaritans (UK and Ireland):
Provides confidential emotional support for people in the UK and Ireland: samaritans.org
Telefonseelsorge (Germany):
Offers emotional support in Germany: telefonseelsorge.de
HopeLine (India):
A helpline providing emotional support in India: vandrevala.com/hopeline
Take care of yourself and remember that asking for help isn't weak, it is brave!
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Wildcards: bit.ly/VLDLwildcard - Hry
Right now dealing with PTSD and persistent sadness after seeing my wife of 36 years die in January 2024 from ovarian cancer. She was my lover and my best friend. I’m currently seeing a grief counselor which is helping. I have periodic grief attacks when I just start crying uncontrollably. It’s like an emotional roller coaster that will be lasting for the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry for your loss, stay strong✊
Oh wow... I'm so sorry for your loss. I imagine I'd be crying all the time, and at the most inopportune moments too, if I were in your shoes. All the love, man... take care.
I love you and feel your pain. Find someone, anyone, friend or otherwise, who will recognize your pain as valid and care for it.
That's hard my guy! I know the thoughts! Strong love and big heart. Prayers going out for you!
I wanted to thank everyone for your support and prayers! I’m not the same person I was before, the new ‘me’ is a work in progress.
Have you tried to: "Just snap out of it?" Rowan (2023)
😅 "Why don't you just lift yerself..? ... Like, by the bootstraps? ..No? You haven't? WHAT R You..? WEAK or something? I mean.. c'mon, just smile and be happy!"
@@Paxmax or or have some self pride!?
Just have an apple guys
@@mr.truffles9294 😂 Previous week, I had a six-pack of apples. They reminded me that "Yes, you are still allergic to apples, enjoy the itches" 🤣😃👍
my doc actually said that.
Hearing about Adam driving off reminded me of one Christmas when I just had enough of my family and everything that was going on and spontaneously drove off as well, ended up almost 600 kilometers away, slept in my car in a parking lot, then went on for a few days just driving around mountains being with myself and really appreciating the time off. Good times.
I cant explain how many times this thought has crossed my mind, i never took action too it though, its kinda scary thinking about it.
@@dfrogstrup8476 driving off? Depends how far you take it, I guess. I'm kind of a nomad at heart and I used to work abroad for years, living out of a suitcase so to speak, so for me it was nothing new to just disappear and spend a few days in the car
As somebody who suffers with PTSD, grief, and guilt issues, I appreciate you using your platform to talk about this when men do not talk about it enough.
I must say all people have their own world and can't see through it much. But it's because you have people around you that are not doing that. I know a lot of people/friends/coworkers that just talked about any problem like it's a random question or oftopic and others just react to it in their own way. If you don't have something in your life it doesn't mean others don't have it. I would like to have friends that are near me and it feels like everyone have it like that but deep inside I know it's only my own world that I feel it like that.
@@LittleWilly-BigBalls 95% here don't have any Psychiatrist or how is it called in English. You know. It's normal to not talk about it with anyone who doesn't know you but after a half or a year? I think it depends where the situations are. When I get to talk about it with someone on the train and he/she just starts about it some problems (random people... Again depend on situation). Why not?
For those who are vets, be your brothers keepers, shipmates, or battle buddy. Most have been through something and can at least listen and at best help. Don't try everything alone and giving up. If a vet approaches you with a problem, listen to him or her.
As a therapist, I'm LOVING this podcast. So much great stuff here.
What Rowan describes as the tactic that worked for him is called "prescribing the symptom". Like Alan said, the more you fight it the stronger it grows, so sometimes just setting aside the time and saying OK NOW works. For some people. Talk to your therapist about it.
healthy eating totally helped with my depression too. no sugar, low carb, lots of veggies, etc. and after a few weeks i noticed that my depression was significantly better. over the next decade i lost 50kg and even started to do somewhat regular exercising for fun. after 15 years of depression and 2 years of medication, the thing that helped the most was nutrition. never would have thought that. feel free to give it a try, it cant hurt.
It's a lifestyle. More than eating an apple, for sure. Good encouragement! Thank you for sharing.
Well done 👍
Well the saying "A healthy body leads to a healthy mind" exists for a reason. Doesn't fix everything but a healthy body will definitely prevent and even fix a good number of mental health issues. Happy for you, healthy living is definitely no easy fit for many.
you can have veggies with low amount of carbs even though they are primarily carbs, op might mean little-no refined carbs@@darekm6859
@@chobitsotaku5613 yeah at the end of a day, mental state is basically just mix of chemicals in your brain. Your brain is your body, so keep it healthy
I’ve watched this and your mental health sketches, recently. It hits hard and I’ve shed tears, I’ve gone through my life carrying so much stress and trauma. I’ve cried myself to sleep so many times not knowing what’s going on. I feel like not getting up when I wake up. And only now I’ve realised what’s happened to me and it’s hit me so hard, so many years keeping it bottled up. Please if you experience trauma in anyway, please don’t bottle it and speak up, the longer you leave it the more it will eat you up when it hits you.
Humor is so enormously important when you're dealing with health problems, mental or physical. It helps with putting things into perspective, and it's kind of liberating to just laugh at your problems right in their stupid faces.
yup that's why I rather see viva do skits
I don't normally comment on videos, but this one has really helped me out a lot, It's really been an eye-opener. More than recently my Mental Health hasn't been the best in recent months.
So I appreciate you guys opening up about your battles and knowing that we're never alone with what we go through
To anybody who is reading this: be patience and kind to yourself. There can't be healthy improvement with self hate and anger. (Learned it from two decades of this sh*t)
Thank you guys for talking about such an important topic.
I was stuck inside my own head for two decades in my youth. I did not seek help because of fear. I had no idea what I had. In the end it took a toll. If I gave just one suggestion it would be seek help as early as possible. Your videos on mental health are amazing! Please do more, including ADHD!
What Adam said about the meds showing him what it is like to be "normal" is such a key thing for any mental illness. I've had depression my whole life but I haven't realized how much of an impact it was having for a long while and when I thought about reaching out for help, I was like "meh, what's the point?" and I had to get real low to start therapy. Realizing how differently "normal" people experienced life, and then having meds show me what it is like for myself was like being hit by a truck, and it is so much easier to reach out for help when I know what quality of life can be achieved
I have so many words but the main ones were "thank you. It takes alot of strength to not only talk about mental health, talk about YOUR mental health, and talking about it to multiple people." I actually had this the otherday talking with a workmate about anxiety, depression, being HSP, and not holding back and they thanked me for being so open and understanding and relatable. So ya, thank you for making us feel valid and not alone
First of all, I love you all, guys.
So, I deal with my shit, depression, adhd, other things, by being very poor, understanding nobody gives a flying fuck and it's entirely up to me. This is not some illusion, it is what it is... It doesn't cure me or anything, lol, but it makes me feel stronger than all the shit... if that makes sense.
Watching you guys, makes me think, maybe it would have been nice if I had someone to talk to sometimes...
On that note, believe it or not, I'm not joking! YOU guys, you help me a lot, with your comedy and work, something about it speaks to me, I believe it's because its true and genuine, something very lacking in entertainment... thanks.
I am glad you made a podcast about this topic. I remember you guys commented on a youtuber's channel talking about other youtubers quitting or taking breaks. I think this is worth discussing.
I'm so glad they made the connection between physical and mental health. The foundation of food, sleep, water and exercise may not cure you, but it truly helps, and it's the rock on which everything else is built.
Yeah I feel like a lot of the times with mental health. Even just talking about it with somebody who you trust can help a lot. Just getting the thoughts out and not sitting on them all day.
:(
The amount of integrity and responsibility from these guys always amazes me, even so far as giving a disclaimer at the beginning to give us a head's up about the mental health topics to come. Even though they make so much funny content, they are mature beyond their years.
Hate that I only discovered you guys last year but after bindge watching all of bored, your dnd campaigns and the video game skits, and epic npc man I feel like I've found a new home away from home in a way. Great community and phenomenal creators, love you guys
I really appreciate you talking about this issue freely and show us that we aren't alone in our struggle. That we aren't abnormal.
One of the worst things is, when not even your own family backs you up, when you are down like this. When your own parents don't take your C-PTSD, depressions and anxieties seriously. When they make you feel guilty for beeing a nuisance, a burden bc you just can't "cope and just be normal". This is heartbreaking and unfair.
Thanks for having this conversation, fellas.
This is probably my favourite Viva content. Can't wait for the "Anxiety as a superpower" episode!
It's really wonderful and refreshing to watch/listen about a podcast with some dudes who really open up about such a sensitive topic instead of throwing stuff around like: "Suck it up, you're the man" and "What are you, a beta male?" It's really brave to talk about this topic on such an intimate level, you're really awesome. Keep up the good work!
I totally understand Adam's view and feelings after getting diagnosed with something, but in my opinion it's sooo liberating as well. When I got diagnosed with autism ca. a year ago, it was a mixed bag between "Well, I just gonna f*** myself then, right?" but also "Okay, you know, something's wrong for so many years and now you know what it is. It has a name/label, you can educate yourself about it now, you have peers on the spectrum to share experiences and learn more about that stuff and yourself as well - that's actually awesome!", and it really is :D
I'm very sorry that you guys made those experiences, but at the same time it's great to see how you deal and grow with it, because it isn't easy at all and it requires so much strength to get through that stuff. So epic to see what you made out of it :)
One of my favorite moments in Bored is when Adam can't stop sniffing the boxes while in the box, and Alan comes in and is focused on helping Adam and talking him through it. There was just something about the way he helped him that really struck me, like, "We need more of that."
I really appreciate you guys doing this. I've struggled with bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety, hospitalization and institutionalization, survived the "troubled teen industry" (I highly recommend "The Program", it's a well-done documentary in relation to the TTI) and have been on both sides of suicide (survived a nearly fatal attempt, and lost my best friend to suicide due to transphobic harassment). It's so important to know that one is not alone in mental health struggles. It can save lives.
I've been watching you guys for years and always loved your videos! Hearing this podcast my level of respect has sky rocketed, I have my own mental health issues and listening to this made my day. Thank you for talking about a potentially sensitive topic.
Alan nailed the feeling of pure O it’s a terror feeling you can’t imagine as the thing it’s playing on is your biggest fear. I suffered for a year or two it feels like a blur now I’m dealing better but mine was harm and hurting people and people I love sometimes and I was terrified and pure terror is what it was. I isolated from people as a compulsion to the thoughts but I learned to face the thoughts and stay around people to prove them wrong and once I had control of them and didn’t fear them anymore and learnt to not emotionally react I have got a lot better. I remember telling a family member to describe it “if I could give you my brain for a minute and take it back you’d understand the pain is immense”. I’m glad you’re doing better Alan and talking about it because people think OCD is the cleaning thing and the doors etc when that’s just one aspect of a different type of OCD but pure O is strange too and I also never heard of it pre my own struggles with it.
Thank you guys for sharing personal mental health journeys, this makes me feel that I'm not alone.
I'm dealing with Anxiety issues and started to get medical helps from doctor.
After My bf died 8month ago 9yrs above relationships ended. Just like a bomb, big explosion then gone.
I felt myself as worthless, useless, and nothing(feeling overwhelmed, not in a good way).
Showed suicidal, hysterical, self-destructive thoughts and behavior by even small mistakes.
Some of my friends and family member says doctor can't help or solve origin of problem.
But helped me get out of broken process of my brain(Of course having ups and downs still going on :) )
and taught me the way to watch myself few steps behind. So, It's Okay to get some professional help.
Let's get through this tunnel together.
„Hi Ren“ from Ren has helped me a lot! You should listen to it!
Thank you so much for talking so openly about this. 🤗
As a professional, I am grateful for your passion and openness. You're sharing the weight and the wins. And personally, my favorite part of the mental health series is when Ben's cat calms him and gives him hope. Amazing!
All of your skits and your DND campaigns have helped me through so many rough patches. Just having a good laugh and a sense of normalcy when life goes upside down has helped so much. Thank you for talking about and normalizing mental health struggles and wins.
I am 51 years old going on 52. Two years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. The medication has helped but more than that, knowing what I am going through, that I have struggled with this all my life, and knowing what to do about it has brought a clarity to my life that I cannot understate the importance of here. If you are out there struggling with things, make the call, speak to someone who knows about these things and get help. Talk to someone. Talk to them. Be open and communicative to the people around you as well. It really does help. And I don't fight my ADHD, I accept it, I explain to people around me what it means and the things I might or might not do because of it. 50 years I waited because I thought I was just not that good at focusing but did not think it was that bad. Do it today. Get help and get better. There is a light of hope out there for you!
Oh man you guys are ticking all the boxes I've had on my own depression journey.
I always used to say "I can't help myself".
But found helping others easy and in a way helping them kinda helped me too.
But then I had a thought "How can you help others if you can't help yourself."
And I noticed I'd take on the burdens of others when maybe I shouldn't have.
Like it now became I couldn't help myself from helping others!
And so my problems still remained a problem for me.
I am my own worst enemy but I'm also my own best friend.
I have made the choice to love myself unconditionally.
Many people say they love me but it took me a long time for me to learn to love myself again.
Hate is a powerful word/feeling I try to be careful saying it in sentences now and say things like "I dislike this" instead.
Things that have actually helped me are little things.
Like: Every morning I wake up I make a list of things I am thankful for in my head.
Being kind to myself and being kind to others.
When I meet new ppl I give them a complement, A good one I say is "I like/love your look."
I take pride in myself and I wear the cloths I like, when I look good, I feel good.
Having things to look forward to, like my Birthday is in July and I want it to be amazing and so I need to prepare for it.
Giving me more things to look forward to in turn.
Having goals, short term goals, mid term goals, and long term goals.
When I get really down or feel like I'm losing control.
I just close my eyes and focus on my breathing, slow controlled deep breaths in and slow controlled breaths out.
Making/ cooking good food, working on myself in the gym.
There is almost nuthing bad anyone can say about me that I haven't already thought about myself.
Like ppl can try to hurt me with words, but they only can if I let them.
The only one that can break my heart is me and I'm the only one that can fix it.
I am now able to laugh at/with myself but I try only to laugh with others.
Doing certain drugs has taught me a lot too "going with the flow" is a biggie.
Whenever I think I've done too much I do my breathing exercises and I ask myself a simple question.
Who is in control, me or the drug?
And the right answer is always me no matter what!
I am in control at all times especially when it seems like I'm not.
I did this to myself and I'm prepared to face the consequences both the good and the bad.
All these things that I have done.
They may not work for you but, you'll never know until you do!
The worst part when you have multiple 'conditions' isn't the labels you do have, but the ones you don't. When you have so many things going on that the stuff on the surface is camouflaging more serious things that really need to be addressed.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression and I think I suffer too from anxiety. I’ve always been quite good at hiding it with being quite out there, friendly and so forth. But it started too to effect my behaviour and I was getting mad at some of my best friends with me bottling up all this anxiety and emotions. I am now trying to be better and getting professional help and opened up to my friends about it. thank you for talking about it. Love you guys work and too know you too have experienced something similar, it makes me feel a not alone. Am still in my early days of accepting I have a mental health condition so again just thank you! A UK fan, keep it up!
I looked into Buddhism and found a lot of help there for my anxiety. I recommend “When things fall apart” by Pema Chodron. It introduced me to Buddhism concepts and the main one that helps me is to carry an attitude of loving kindness to all that arises - for yourself, others, the world. The meditation is for practicing this as well. Whatever thoughts, feelings etc that arises during mediation you have loving kindness to it and then go back to focusing on your breath and on it goes. Wishing everyone love and strength on each of their journeys and yes please talk about it. We are all in it together, walking one another home ❤
I am so thankful that you guys made this episode. I have been struggling with a few different mental disorders, and there are actions I do that I haven’t been able to put a label on. I read a few chapters of the DSM-5-TR medical manual and are only starting to understand some of these things. I’m only 19 so I’m at the beginning of my mental journey, but man I wish I listened to this a long time ago.
Something I have come to appreciate is the bad times. A brilliant professor once talked to the class about “what is happiness.” And everyone wants that. Everyone desires good over bad. However, without the bad, how to evaluate what is “good?” If one has never experienced a bad day in their life, the first, smallest inconvenience will be absolutely crushing. For this who’ve experienced the worst of the worst (example given was a true story of a man who’d lost his family in a plane crash. Like, his wife, his two kids and his parents while he opted to drive the truck with all their belongings to their new home. Only to get there (pre-cell phone days) to realize home was gone.)
It isn’t a story of “think of how much harder it is for other people” meant to dismiss mental health. The story is meant to show that for the people who have experienced the absolute worst have a much stronger understanding of what happiness is. And it’s not to say everyone has to have that level of awfulness. It’s meant to point out that appreciating and accepting the really crappy days gives our better days more meaning.
Be kind to yourselves out there. And thank those who are kind to you in-turn.
SSRI's are terrible! Well, from my experience. Tried a couple, both had none of the beneficial effects and several of the terrible side effects.
Oh I agree, but it depends on the person. There are hundreds of neurotransmitters but if you happen to be deficient in the main ones being dopamine, serotonin, or norepinephrine or deficient in those receptor sites then antidepressants may work.
I hear good things about zoloft and lexapro specifically. That said, there is no way for your doctors to check neurotransmitter levels and handing you antidepressants is very much guess work. Statistically, only about a third of people respond well to the first antidepressant they are given and one third don't respond well no matter how many they are given.
To what Rowan was saying, my mental health and peer support tutor always said "what you resist, persists" recognising the difference between FAULT and RESPONSIBILITY helped me a tonne. Not my fault what happened to me when I was little. My responsibility to not let it control me and effect others
The bored and gaming skits were how I found you all and took you seriously as comedians, actors and writers. The mental health skits were when I took you all seriously as genuinely amazing humans. Thank you for making this light hearted and deep, with humour and compassion.
Thanks for this one, guys. ❤
I've struggled my whole life (anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD). Labels mean power - a hope of clarity, and a hope of change.
I like that you talked about the concept of acceptance. Acceptance within yourself and acceptance in the wider world, are both so key. I was reading about Buddhism recently, and this sentence just keeps sticking with me : "You suffer because you wish it different."
Having said that, sometimes you also need the ketamine, or the SSRI. It would be insanity not to help people who suffer. Someone close to me suffered his entire life with horrible intrusive thoughts, and he recently went on sertraline; it almost totally eradicated the intrusive thoughts entirely (it's also apparently used in the treatment of OCD).
My folks were convinced that any mental illness that wasn’t schizophrenia was caused by lack of faith in god. Needless to say, I lived in hell until my early twenties. Thank you guys, I needed this.
I cannot say how much each and every topic here is so easy to relate to.. from the symptoms, through self- and pro- medication, towards a honest perspective that includes a vulnerability, but that makes it just so powerful !!
I really love that you are bringing more attention to the topics of mental illnesses and your journal with certain conditions, as I know several people with serious mental health issues as well. I can relate to the terrible feeling of not knowing how to help or what to say when somebody that I love is telling me all about their current problems. The feeling of wanting to help so badly that I had tears in my eyes because I felt just so helpless.
I don`t know if this format is also for asking questions and you answering them but I have two for you guys that I find pretty interesting and would love to hear your opinion about:
I have first heard about intrusive thoughts at a fun little Video on Instagram, where somebody for example had he thought of "hey, what would happen if I jumped off this cliff" or something, joked about it and went on with their day (it was like an comedic, entertaining video) so I thought that these intrusive thoughts are also "fun" and part of being a "normal" human being. But from what you guys have experienced it is much more severe and should be (in my opinion) treated more carefully/cautious. What is your opinion on this? Are such little videos making fun of a serious condition? or is it in a way educational about it and should be proceeded?
And the next question is: How did music help you cope with your mental health? (I am not sure if it was talked about in a different Video but I will look into them as well)
I really love the Work of VLDL and have watched and enjoyed your every Video! keep up doing the great work of being yourselfs!
Your effort into making these things normal to talk about, is exactly what the world needs sometimes. Great podcast 👏
Never has mental health been spoken of in a podcast! Jokes aside, I will always love the fact that you guys shine a light on the important of acknowledging mental health over the years. Keep it up boys.
Something big therapy doesn't want you to know, talking about it with your dog or God or whatever OUT LOUD is often just as good
Thank you guys for talking about this so openly. I don't necessarily 'struggle' with mental health, but I have my moments. Often times online and on social media people portray this perfect, edited version of themselves and that can make your own situation seem quite desperate in comparison. This helps a ton in combatting the lonely nature of mental health struggles.
I really think, the worst thing for you, when you are struggling, is being alone. Not being alone, is very often the help you need.
Self compassion and exploring your fears with curiosity, calmness, creativity etc... Is key to building good mental health (from a mental health professional)
For me when you guys started doing the mental health skits and brought up depression in the DnD series really helped me fully commit to destigmatizing the conversation in my own personal circles. Just a bunch of seemingly cool dudes and (gorgeous) gals openly talking about their struggles??? Maybe I can do that too with my friends 🤷🏻♂️
This is a topic that I haven't even gotten ten minutes into the video in and I can say I identify with this so heavily. And the whole smoking weed thing. That's something that I do. Im a stoner. Idgaf who likes it at all. It actually helps me. But like .....this topic is something that has been an issue since before puberty. Which I hit at 9 years of age. I'm 32 now. Born 01/12/1992. I still fight and deal with and suffer with this and multiple other mental/emotional issues. So like I feel this in a deep heavy level. Thanks guys. I appreciate you all.
When I started watching y'all's content about 8 years ago, I started going through something very similar to what Alan and Rowan have gone through. I had spiraling thoughts before that point but they would fade when they would either be proven right or wrong. But for over a year I couldn't escape these immediate and all encompassing thoughts. There was no end to them because they were nothing more than some sections of a song. I know it's kind of like an ear worm song thing, but these little bits of songs would be my first and last thought every day and it's like they'd be playing over top of every single other thought completely clouding my mind. It took me years of not being able to listen to my favorite genres and music because they wouldn't go away. Until finally I just let them be, and I realized just like with other thoughts I don't actually want to have, I just let them go like the ebb and flow of the tides. Only when I stopped trying to control them did I regain control. I dont think Id be married and have kids if I were still in that place. Thanks for having this discussion for everyone else, I still hadn't ever heard anyone else share an experience similar to mine! Cheers
This was fantastic to see 3 men talk about their mental health journeys.
You are absolutely right that women are better at talking about it. My best friend and I have for many years said how sad it is that women can turn to other women. But if a man is struggling, he doesn't feel like he can talk to anyone about it. Because he has been raised to be a tuff guy.
Especially here in America. There is so much toxic masculinity. It is usually what is causing the women's mental health issues. So it just builds on it's self and it is only getting worse here.
More men need to have friends like the 3 of you are. It would definitely make for a better world.
Thank you for being such a great examples of being real men who step up and share.
I spent the first 40 years of my life in such terrible depression that it literally felt like physical pain. Basically every day. Many times all day. I really wanted it to end. But I would not hurt others by taking my own life.
I finally got to the point that I forced myself to talk to my Dr about it. She put me on Paxil for a few months and that reset my brain enough that I could handle my depression on my own. It also allowed me to make changes in who I allowed to be part of my life. Which helped immensely, not having toxic people dragging me down.
9 years ago I met, and now married, an amazing man. My husband is a great communicator and we are always there to be each other's soft place to land.
The biggest take away is things, can and will get better. You are not alone, feeling the way you do.
Thanks again for sharing. It was a very important topic to get people talking about.
Love to the crew there.
I can so relate to things said by Rowan and Alan.
In my 20s I suffered from anxiety attacks. I would get palpatations and think I was going to have a heart attack and die. I'd enter this tug of war where I'd mentally talk myself down, saying it was nonsense and it was just an anxiety attack but then, on the brink of getting out of it, "But what if it's not?" would jump into my head. It was a proper problem for years.
One day, I lay on my bed having an attack and I just said to myself "Okay, I'f I'm going to die now, there's nothing I can do" and I just accepted it. Not long afterwards I was over the anxiety attacks.
Today I suffer from ME. It's not as bad as it is for a lot of people but once 'diagnosed' (ME is a lack of diagnosis, so I find it weird saying I was diagnosed), I realised just how long it it had been going on. I have bouts of it. It can be days, weeks, months. The way I deal is like what Adam said, I accept that I'm having a bad ME day. Every day I will give the best that I can give but on bad days, that's not as much as on others, but it is the best I can give. As long as I am doing that, then it's okay. Another important component is that I don't consider any hopes that tomorrow or next week (or even just the next hour) will be any better because if I'm living with that hope and tomorrow is NOT better, my mental health is taking a kicking and it can dominate my life and make the ME worse.
In short - Not all days are equal, just be the best you that you can be on this day.
whoever you are reading this.. know you are still lucky in spite of how much negativity you might feel. keep fighting, there is always a light after the tunnel..
@Rowan Adam Alan, Thanks for covering this topic, i suffer with Depression & anxiety. Even though i love riding my mountain bikes (I build custom retro bikes & love showing them off) i often get very anxious about being attacked on the street & bike being stolen, so i spend alot of time inside, gaming and what not, i get cabin fever too! It does not help either way. Sometimes i have to be phu=ysically shoved outside and as you say, TOUCH GRASS! I LOVE YOU ALL, Keep the quality coming
For me, when it comes to my depression is when "friends" don't want to talk with me because I have been considered as a "DOWNER" that worries about everything...
I am just "trying" to find someone to help me chill, but instead I am ignored or blocked as a caller.😢
Fortunately, it's people like VLDL that show there are others who are not as easily scared off. It helps to have a support group because then we will feel less overwhelmed or compelled to overload a friend.
Sheessshhh. That sucks. Even a couple words .. Some people haven’t experienced it and can’t be sympathetic. Tell a friend some examples of what they could say in response when you do become a “downer”. Hope you get some acknowledgment.
I would suggest considering having a few conversations with a therapist. Remember that friends probably want to help but aren’t trained in the field, and might not at all be equipped to have that conversation
I would suggest considering having a few conversations with a therapist. Remember that friends probably want to help but aren’t trained in the field, and might not at all be equipped to have that conversation
I would suggest considering having a few conversations with a therapist. Remember that friends probably want to help but aren’t trained in the field, and might not at all be equipped to have that conversation
Hey everyone I just to say thanks VLDL I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and some people don't realize how much platforms like CZcams can help with it everyday is a mental struggle for me but I find peace enjoying content like this it reminds me I'm not alone don't EVER suffer in silence there's more people who care then you may realize you just need to look. Stay safe and may the universe shine it's light upon us all 😸👍
Waking up early before work to watch these podcasts has been the best start to my days lately. ❤
I have a similar instinct to Adam, and a lot of times I will say "do you want me to give you suggestions?" or if I've started doing that I'll stop and go "sorry, my brain tends to go into 'fix this' mode and I know that's probably not what you want."
For myself i feel like you have to go thru anxiety/depression for a while to understand that you actually have it and when you are going thru it. . One thing i do now is recognize when its happening and just that recognizing and saying ok im not feeling well today, but ill get over it. Like when you get a cold. Ok im sick, i just need to wait and it will go away. that has helped a lot. So you can be experiencing it, but not ALSO worrying about experiencing it.
My diagnosis' are PTSD, Severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Get help if you need it, don't feel ashamed, you're not alone.
Always good to see folks properly describe their experience of OCD, at this point i still get the impression that barely anyone understands how varied OCD can be in the way it manifests and how absolutely life ruining it is when it’s at its most active.
Also - really good to hear from someone who is this successful with ketamine treatment. I am hoping that we’re getting there with extending our options into that direction, as well as re: the shroom based methods. Medical science kind of owes us a big leap there.
Thanks white boys, I hope the younger parts of your fan base watch this and engage with the topic before they can build any of the misconceptions that make dealing with mental illnesses so difficult.
hearing that such amazing talented people struggle with similar things as i, makes it easier to deal with. i can relate.
Not a comfortable topic. I applaud you all for sharing your struggles so openly. _This_ needs to be the norm for the subject.
I had no idea for the name of the thought spirals as 'pure o', but suffered them in my 20's. They could wreck me for weeks and it wasn't so much that I'd get stuck on a single bad thought for that time, but an annoyance or bad thought would whisper. Something fairly minor, but it would just keep at me until I fell apart over it. Then, my 'logical part' of my brain would go, "You know, you're WAY too upset about this little thing. Nah, it must be something else dragging you down, let me go look in the dark places!" and it would find something worse, and deeper into despair I'd go and repeat.
I suppose it was 'accepting' it that sort of loosened it, but my version of accepting it was, "Okay, I this is bothering me and I can't stop crying, or get out of bed and hate living... but is it something I'm _really_ down about, or is it just depression or something?" Then, I gave it a designation - "THE MOOD", named it if you will. After that, if I decided it was the mood, I would say 'I see you, but we're not doing this,' and distract myself with something. Even if just a few seconds later, I'd have to say it again, just kept doing it. After a while, it was the recognition of it and shrugging it aside was enough. I know that absolutely could not work for others. Our brains are all just wired too differently and I was very lucky. And yet, I'm glad to have some kind of identification. I still spot it trying to get a toe in the door from time to time, but it's kind of like that stray cat that has been trying to rush through your door for so long, you know all its moves.
Fear not though. My brain has moved on to anxiety and other forms of self-torture.
I have never heard of Pure O as a phrase of OCD before but looking up, I definitely am going to ask my doctor and psych about it. Its been a constant worry in my mental health.
One thing about friends that want to HELP or FIX things is even when it comes from the BEST place, it can feel like I am failing them when I dont get ok as quick.
Y'all are awesome. Y'all talking about this is super helpful and I hope it helps people on their mental health journey.
This episode and your mental health comedy are powerful.
Thank you for sharing and being a force for good in this world.
I’m going through something difficult and listening to y’all helped me. Thank you
I'm with Alan on psilocybin. It's very stigmatized in our society yet such a powerful tool to help with traumas when properly handled. Helped me a bunch as well.
our vets with PTSD need this. We have a group of special forces vets who help out taking groups to South America where it's either legal or not enforced. The benefits are real.
Thank you for doing this podcast. I truly appreciate your willingness to show vulnerability and share your experiences.
Much like Adam, I have depression. I have found that just a random no destination drive or hike actually helps small spells.
mfw Alan describing his experience is very relatable to me. I've known I had compulsive rumination and thought spirals but never realised 'pure O' was a thing. What's helped for me even then, is to separate myself from these thoughts and sort of not treat the fact that they exist in my head, as unacceptable. Taking on the role of an observer that just sifts through my thoughts has sort of opened an escape hatch out of these loops. Still kinda annoying when you need to focus 😭
I love that y'all talk about these things. Thanks.
Thanks for your stories, guys. There are actually a lot of people going through similar experiences.
And it’s so wonderful to hear that everything is much better for you lot now.
I relate so much to what Adam said, almost giving the anxiety and depression a voice and the voice is just telling you how much you suck and how much everyone hates you
Comment written as I am like one minute into the video: I have a video shoot tomorrow for a university assignment where we have to do a short video portrait of someone. While I am exited to do it, I am also really nervous because it’s the first time I‘m doing something like this and it is all my responsibility. Just watching and listening to you guys is really calming me down right now. Thanks. (Will probably write more comments as I go further in the episode)
Seven minutes into the video: I am crying now. For five years of my life I have struggled massively with pure o. As Alan I didn‘t know it was a thing until I was really deep in. I finally started therapy two years ago and I am happy to say that it is mostly good now. But Alan, hearing you say it was isolating and heartbreaking did something with me. Because my focus in all that was always on that active part of Me hurting myself (and all the blame that comes with it) but I never really looked at the fact that I was also the one being hurt (is that understandable?). Like I just realized now that it did break my heart over and over and it did isolate me and it took away my energy and so many good times I could have had. But until now I haven’t really validated those feelings or grieved over what I have lost. I never allowed myself to be compassionate towards myself. Man this feels like such an important realization right now. Thank you!
16 minutes into the video: holy shit guys! How is it possible for two dudes from the literal opposite side of the planet, who don’t know me and who I didn’t know of until not so long ago, to be sitting there and describing *word by word* the processes that went on in my head for years?!
The „I‘m gonna think this thought over and over forever“. I had that. It felt like a short circuit in my brain getting faster and louder and more painful with every round. It was the essence of every obsessive thought I ever had and it was in some ways the worst one of them. It used to send me into pure desperation, I was questioning reality and sometimes wasn’t even sure I was existing at all. I was convinced that at one point my mind would just explode like some electric device with a short circuit and I would go insane.
I‘m so sorry you guys had to go through that too! I was kinda hoping I was the only one experiencing this (bit naive in hindsight I guess).
26:01 - 26:07 : I just listened to this part on repeat like twenty times or so. I can feel it doing something inside of me.
44 minutes into the video: My experiences on the fighting it/ fighting yourself topic:
So the first thing I did when the compulsive thoughts started being a real issue was to fight them. Trying to break them down by arguing with them, telling them to leave, desprately telling myself how untrue they were (while actually not believing myself). Like you guys said, this is just the fuel those thoughts thrive on and so they grew even more.
I often have this picture of my mind as a kingdom with the capital where I live in the middle. And the pure o felt like there was this gross, dark, half alive abomination of a war tower growing right out of the streets of my capital. I tried shooting it down with catapults but everything I launched at it, it just devoured and used to grow even further.
So the next thing I did was trying to ignore it and hope it would just go away. But it was already there and big enough to be feeding itself, poisoning my thoughts and darkening my days. And so I started to run away from it, avoinding anything that might start the spiraling thoughts again as best as I could. Guess how that worked. It started this whole thing of being anxious of being anxious which was a somewhat slower but still very certain way of getting caught right in those spirals I was trying to avoid.
It took me years of kind of switching between those two "methods" until I finally figured out that there is another option:
Confronting without attacking. I hope I can explain this in an understandable way. It feels like this when I do it: I gather all courage and determination I can find within myself. I stop the running away and come to a halt. Then I turn around, plant my feet into the ground and just look at it. No further interaction. No arguing, no fighting, no running away. Just facing whatever it's gonna throw at me and fucking *standing my ground* .
For me that was one of the big game changers.
Sooo a whole week after I started watching, I am now done with the video.
I just gotta thank you guys for making this episode and pouring your hearts and minds out for the world to see! That is truly brave. You are a true inspiration of talking about mental health and making that topic seen and heard!
Thank you!
I think of it like you are rolling (falling) down a hill, so all you can do is tuck and roll to keep the damage to a minimum. Then you can pick yourself up and walk up the hill again.
I've been suffering from chronic depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder for about 27 years, I'm now doing more out there treatments like repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation.
I've had one therapist who helped me a lot for a few years until I moved away, but otherwise I'm still struggling. Sometimes there are no solutions and we just have to play the hand we're dealt.
Thanks for sharing your experiences , guys. I’m glad y’all have a good culture at VLDL.
I feel SO MUCH better of my reality every Thursday with a new "ALDERIM" Episode, because it reminds me of my earlier years (1989-1995) when I had good friends whom I played RPG's with.
Now at 49yo, all of those past contacts have responsibilities and adulthood.
I HATE having to take medication, and have gone "COLD TURKEY" from the meds...
Sadly, I drink 6× 8.6 ABV beers a day to make myself feel better, but I miss smoking pot.
Some of these comments are honestly surprising. People literally taking the time out of their day to leave a negative comment about this channel or the particular topic they are discussing this episode. These guys have done nothing but service their fans, produce awesome fun content, and are covering topics most people are scared to talk about. They deserve nothing but praise. Thank you Alan, Adam, and Rowan for opening up and helping people realize they aren’t alone. Ignore the negative comments. If your content is able to get through to and help one person feel like they aren’t alone then you’ve more than done your job.
Amazing ep, boys. As usual. This is absolutely my favorite podcast since ep 1
I love this episode and the mental health/therapist sketches for 2 reasons. First, I've had mental health struggles my whole life and it's always comforting hearing you're not alone. Second, I'm now a therapist and I've been able to use some of the therapist and mental health sketches to break the ice with patients and talk about mental health stigma, as well as share with my therapist coworkers for a laugh. I tell everyone, coworkers and husband, to "just try an apple"!
I bloody love how positive and fun your podcasts are. It makes such a nice change to a lot of the stuff I listen to (which is totally my fault ofc)
Thanks for doing these and everything you do, you're a huge asset to the internet :)
I definitely have a lot of these issues, but you just learn little brain tricks to avoid them, or you learn ways to cope with/power thru it, and people who really care about your well being are definitely helpful. The only thing I couldnt overcome 100% myself is my Anxiety/OCD, and needed meds to help slow my brain down a bit and it made things a lot more managable.
Even though I think these are wack ass reasons to be depressed or have mental health issues…I get everyone experiences everything differently and I appreciate you guys at least talking about it. Love you guys. Keep it up! Stronger than you think!
My counselor gave me similar advice as Rowan. He wanted to trigger my spirals and anxiety. He wanted to show me that nothing was wrong physically and I could learn to combat them by giving them no focus. You give it power over you by fighting them. Best thing to do is realize what it is, realize it can't hurt you and just let nit ride out. Then he helped me to learn how to keep them from happening. By recognizing what triggered them, I could them put a mental 🛑 up. That would allow me to signal my brain that it was going to spiral and it would help me be able to stop focusing on those thoughts and go about my day as if nothing happened. It worked wonders after just a week or 2. He used a Chinese finger trap to teach me how panic and anxiety attacks and ocd worked. The more you fight them, the stronger they get and the more stuck you become. Just like trying g to pull your fingers out of a Chinese finger trap. Caffeine, nicotine and other stimulants are the worst enemy for someone who suffers with mental health issues.
Thank you, mental health is a challenging thing, it’s nice knowing we’re not alone working through the journey of life
I was diagnosed bipolar several years ago, and had quite similar experiences to the described feeling of psilocybin, but on LSD. It didn't just help with the depressive side of things, but also obsessive thoughts and what I am currently trying to talk to a psychiatrist about that is probably OCD. Psychedelics really genuinely can completely rewire your brain in a positive manner for a short period of time under the right circumstances and guidance. It's such a shame that ketamine therapy is legal in Australia, but not widely available.
THANK YOU! Big love from Slovenia.
50:33 I love this comment- saying ‘that sucks’ as a response- I got a life changing chronic medical diagnosis a couple years ago and I remember everyone trying to comfort me would just say what I could do to make it better. I eventually just broke down alone in my room literally screaming into the pillow ‘I just want someone to acknowledge how much this F ing sucks!’ It was so much help when I spoke to someone who all they said was ‘I’m sorry that sucks’ 👍 I actually laughed so much and said thank you that all I wanted to hear!! 😂
A podcast like this has never been done
"Wait, I already heard this episode". (keep listening) "Boi, I love these guys". Thanks again for talking about it openly, with no judgement but as testimonies and support !
I think about it like, the way the horcrux affected Ron Wesley; except it’s not a possessed/cursed necklace, it’s my brain. The way Adam describes it is what I live every single day. Thank you gentlemen for this; a lot in here I really needed to hear.
All your content is 💯
i wanna say, after watching this, i feel better. i know that my issues aren't as bad as i make them out to be.
Such an important discussion. Thank you so much for this.
Wow, this was good, The intrusive thoughts shit has been hammering me for so long, I feel guilty for things I haven't done... Thank you for this guys.. I am not alone.
We're all human
Not alone. Not even once.
@@metzdupcounselor thankyou 💜
Just started the episode. I’m excited. This will be the closest thing that I have had to a doctors visit in a decade. I’m in America.