Unfortunately many folks don't get that well-intentioned doesn't necessarily mean well-received, especially if they are perceived as smart-asses. Then enter the inevitable gaslighting: "I only meant well." Right! And at the same time depict them as incompetent. Surely sounds legit... Add bonus points if they start blaming you for being "too sensitive" when you are reacting negatively to their pretentiousness.
This was so helpful! I’ve felt like I’ve been spiralling recently due to family matters and trying to move forward. The truth is, I’m the only INFP in my whole family. It makes me sad when I can’t relate to them and it constantly feels like my fault when conflict arises. This channel helps to remind me to be kinder to myself, that I can’t fit in the perceptions others have of me and that I don’t need their validation to be happy. Thank you. Thank you so much for relieving some of the loneliness of being an INFP ❤
I know it can be hard, being the only INFP in the family arrives very often I think (from personal expérience too). But in your school, your hobbies or your career, you can find other INFPs who will understand you (MBTI permit that because you can spot them). I've found some when coming to high school and it's refreshing from loneliness.
I feel the same way, but I know that this is something that will pass in time once you meet people through hobbies or work. On another note, it's great to see another Inuyasha fan.
@@ThierryLarose-h1i I am just ending my career, don't attend church and busy with a grandchild, some of the time. I help family members, which keeps me too busy. I am in a new state. I don't know how to have new opportunities to meet people, other than visiting the senior center. I am afraid I will sit around and get fat if I go there, unless they go dancing. I can't drive after dark, myself anymore, so that ended my fun, there.
As an INFP, the most important reason towards why I don't like communicating with people is primarily because of judgement. I might say something I come to regret or I might think a certain way someone else may feel offended over and they will judge me off of my opinions. In reality, I do grow and realize the error of my ways, while with other opinions I might tend to stand my ground if it means a great deal to me, but I constantly live in a state of exile from people I might be interested in talking to, simply because I'm afraid of what their impression of me is, and the saddest part is that I do realize that it's unhealthy to distance myself from people, but continue to do it anyway because of my appearance, opinions, and choices, that and a sense of protecting myself against bad influences make me paranoid around people I don't even know. When I'm eating lunch at high school, I'll just sit at a table, alone, and realize just how much a shell of a person I have become. I feel selfish even having to write this comment because I take it so personal. It hurts me greatly.
You're not selfish for this. I relate with you 100%. Same reason; fear of judgement and unacceptance from other people. But honestly I have to tell you I want to reach out to people and get to know them......but my tendencies to people please and constantly overthinking about how others view and think of me is making me become a very way-too-kind person and for some reason, toxic and unhealthy people kept coming into my life. Probably because I got the same negative tendencies of them and we resonated, and tbh I've lost many friends because those friends r actually toxic.....I kept attracting toxic people into my life...... Tbh, I think the main thing we have to do now as INFPs is that we really have to take care of ourselves first, build our self worth and set boundaries. The only way that we will stop caring about what others think is to accept and love ourselves as who we are, and continuously strive for improvements and personal growth. This way many people who are also working on personal growth will eventually join us and be our friends, and these type of friends are our genuine and true friends. I'm still learning to become better as an INFP, so I think the first thing we need to do is to accept ourselves as who we are and strive for personal growth and development. Screw what haters think of us. We have to stop caring about what others think and take care of ourselves. That's when other people who have the same goal as you will be attracted to you and thus you have genuine and true friends.
Spot on. I exhibit all these traits, for better or worse. I often feel I'm defective and I'm sparing others the burden of my company by isolating myself.
INFPs are mostly friends with people who can give them the space they need and not take that distance personally .. they will do anything for a person who doesn’t cage them mentally into societal expectations and just let them be themselves unfortunately not many people are that understanding and it will make an INFP disappointed and completely isolate themselves and feel they are all alone and no one understands them as far as family goes being an INFP and having a loud and chaotic atmosphere at home can make them internalise all the anger and frustration towards their family members and make them burst out one day for no reason and maybe even run away from such people who constantly criticise each other or shout at every little thing .. INFPs hate conflict and arguments and fail to understand why people instead of communicating and finding solutions , yell at each other and make every argument such a horrible nightmare .
I’m distancing myself from a group I love right now. Because I know I’ve become emotionally unstable with my anxiety and don’t want it to impact anyone in the group. I’m at least proud of myself for letting the person I trust the most in the group know why I left and how long I think I will be away… and that honestly made letting go so much easier for me. Now instead of feeling like I’ve abandoned them, I feel more like I’m taking care of myself. And I know that they are okay with giving me space and waiting for my return when I am ready.
Leaving people behind does work sometimes. We can't hang on to everybody forever. And, yes, sometimes the people we leave behind are better off without us. Not necessarily because we're so awful but just because we might be too difficult for some people to relate to, cope with, find a workable modus vivendi with. Okay, fine, goodbye. And I'm happy to be the bad guy in your memories (what difference does it make ultimately in my life anyway); if you'll be happier and freer without me, I'll always be glad for that.
It's precisely because we want only the very closest, probably very small circle--hardly enough even to make a "circle"--of friends that we are able to leave some people behind. It all makes very plain sense, actually.
Some of us would be happier with you in our lives and really don't like that decision being made for us 😭😭😭 I miss my INFP dearly. He felt like home to me, but a year ago he locked the door and he won't let me back in. I suspect he thinks he can't make me happy or he's not good enough for me but I disagree because I know he and I value different things in relationships, and the things he thinks he needs to be aren't what I value. I like him for the flawed human he is. I see him more than he realizes, I love him just as he is, and I don't want to change him
Extremely accurate, as an infp it's been difficult to be at school because of these. I can't keep up with everyone and I have to pressure myself cause i'm the biggest burden in my family for being slow. Being motivated is hard to become, I can't rush things because I want them to be authentic and that I actually learned something. It has been difficult every time I argue with my family and trying to explain that I'm not as efficient as everyone else but I can't counter their argument because I have a hard time explaining.
Authencity is the way to go! You said that well 👍 And taking time is the cost we pay, there's no other way (others don't mind bluffing their way along or fake it till they make it). Clarity will pop up on an issue belatedly. That's when you quickly write the story down and capture all your emotions and resolution on that issue. A lesson learnt! Your journal is your closest friend.
When I was in middle school I remember bawling my eyes out, thinking all my friends hated me and I was only a burden to them. I felt that my sadness would bring everyone else down. I thought they didn’t want to hear about my problems, but it was the exact opposite. I’m glad to have healthy relationships and fantastic friends now
Thanks for the video. This hits different. I detached even when I have people who love me, and friends who reach out to me. I know Im supposed to be grateful with what I have. But I cant help but feel like I dont deserve them. I think im not needed, yet they reach out, and because of these emotions, I shut them down. My emotions are in chaos. Of course, I also know at the back of my mind that these thoughts of mine are not true. I know it will be better. Just waiting for that time that I would heal.
* sigh * same. i think (personally) it roots down to feeling unlovable and unworthy of other people's love and feeling more of a burden than trusting that we are good company and worthy of love (just like every human (except me)). Knowing this doesn't do anything though...still don't know how to get better. * sigh *
@majdianne you hit the nail on the head. Actually all personality 'disorders' stem from low self worth when you boil it all down. That's the work. Reprogramming yourself to know and trust that you are worthy and to truly love yourself and improve your internal relationship. That's how you go from INFP-T to INFP-A. We fuss over our own thoughts and emotions neglecting our true selves - the beings having the thoughts which cause emotional responses. Once you prioritize your internal relationship, all others naturally fall into place.
I don't like walking on eggshells all the time. If I am myself with people, they literally can't handle my directness. So I wind up just keeping quiet all the time. It's fine by me. I do think quite differently, and I don't go with the flow, just because everyone else is. Not part of the hive, the flock, the herd, they know it, I know it. It's ok.
I feel that I dont express my emotions more out of fear that other people wont find them reasonable feelings. that they will trivialize how i feel. I feel i understand and can communicate just that the person im having an issue with wont understand.
Is there anything that can be done in that case? An INFP hurt me, and my reaction to protect myself ended up hurting him. I took some space and can see his point of view better now (his actions still weren't very nice, but I forgive him because I wasn't communicating that they were hurting me and never gave him a chance to try to do better). I'd like to repair the relationship but he ghosted me and only responds if I go months without reaching out. When he responds I inevitably get too excited and reply too much (usually with encouragement about what he told me is going on in his life - I'm an ENFJ 🙃) and he goes silent again I don't know what to do and I'm literally in tears as I write this. We had such a beautiful rare connection and I don't want to lose it all over 1 fight that could have been prevented if we'd both been communicating better in the first place
A constant flow of garbage comes out of their mouth every time they speak. It's intolerable. I've tried to reconnect and only through email. It was so copious and such filth I had to block the emails, finally. I tried a few responses to calm them down. This only made it worse. There was criticism of me, of other family members and just too many words + WORDS
@@3SeasonsUSAthis is probably because they've been trapped too long with people who dont accept or respect them. They learned to fight. I did that. When I stopped fighting all my true feelings surfaced. I was extremely suicidal. My anger saved my life then I told it goodbye. The more loving I am the more loving others become. People who aren't loving fall away. I no longer feel compelled to use words with others but with a Turbulent INFP it works the opposite, the more loving people are to the INFP,, the more vulnerable, (see youtube soft start up by Gottman), the more they will feel secure and safe around you. If you want to change their mind you need to be, I hate to say this, sneaky. You need to pretend like you care about what they are saying. Ex. Tell them you understand their view, what they're going through, or you want to understand. Respect them if they share, even if they are in pain, flailing like a fish out of water, then say this is just what I have to do or this is how I feel, with kindness in your eyes. I would love if you would join me or agree but I understand if you can't. Mileage varies. This is just an example which may not fully apply to your situation.
i used to have some friends who i hangout with. but there are times i felt uncomfortable because most of things they talk about are gossiping and there are times i tried talking about my feelings but they cut me off and i feel denied. and after a while i felt like they just talked to each other even when im around. it felt so lonely. so i got friended with other people who i felt more comfortable with. my previous friends tried to talk me to sometimes but i just cant. when your feelings got denied it was the worst feeling ever. and i distanced myself more. there are times i felt like i was the one at fault because i didnt tell them how i really feel and instead went my way looking for new friends. we talked sometimes but only important or work matter. i just cant be friends with them anymore.
I feel you so much! Bring cut off or whenever you talk and they don't seem to listen really breaks my heart and I feel so lacking and disappointed. I feel like it's me who's the problem 😞
If you didn't tell them or give them the opportunity to correct their behavior then that's a you problem, not a them problem. People can't read your mind, and some people get over excited when they talk so they don't even realize they're doing that until you point it out
It's more for inner peace I think. I've got a few close friends but they're like blood brothers. Also mature INFPs know their worth and know when to not burn bridges.
I experienced the same thing from this video. Unfortunately I don't have someone I can talk with and someone who I once love the most, also the one who don't care about me the most
The thumbnail really got me. When my friends are talking to other people I usually walk away and let them have their conversation unless they explicitly show that they want me to stay. One reason is I get jealous easily especially when my friends are with their other friends that I don't really talk with. Another is I feel really awkward when I'm kind of just standing there, listening in on another conversation that I'm not part of. I don't know if that's just me though-
The silent treatment is something I won't inflict on others. I grew up watching my mother manipulate my father through the silent treatment. Now she has not spoken to me for years either, because I dared to stick up for myself one time. I do sometimes get overwhelmed with my emotions and it can take a while for me to process them and put words to them. There are times when my husband will ask me what's wrong and I don't know what to say. My instinct is to run and hide until I figure it out but I don't want to hurt him the way my mother hurts others. So I honestly tell him that I don't know what's wrong and I'm working it out. Then I reach in and have him hold me for a couple minutes. I can accept that comforting hug and he lets it go because he knows that I'm not shutting him out.
An INFP just needs a cabin in the woods, or to be in a monastery. At a certain point, the burns will simply be too great, and the payoff will be too little, for this type to continue to want to invest in mainstream society. Once that happens, there is literally no motivation to turn back.
I was watching this and my gf (ENFP) was listening. She kept nodding and agreeing from time to time 😂 She also intently listened to the advice you said because I still sometimes distance myself from her or not talk to her about things or what I'm feeling because I can't express them to words. She's patient. She tries her best to understand me and give me some space and time when it happens. We recently tried a compromise that she proposed. When it happens or when I can't express what I'm feeling or I can't talk to her, I either say the magic word (a word we agreed on that we can use or say if we're uncomfortable/need some time & space) or she asks me to type it instead or send it through message even though we're together or face to face. She'll wait until I'm done writing or when I'm ready to show her and let her read my thoughts or feelings. It's working and it helps somehow because I also don't want to make her overthink when I distance myself.
I think I’ve grown to be an INFP through childhood experiences. When I was younger people called me annoying and over the top with energy, ugly and other mean stuff. That started to make me feel like my pure existence is disturbing others. Then my older sister who was there for me left for an exchange year to the US but decided to stay there. I grew up with a sister so I started to feel like writing my problems into books and thinking and overthinking 24/7 cause I had no one but myself to share my problems with (parents weren’t an option cause my mum is a weird s*x addict that cheated on my dad and my dad was always worried about finances). Then (I was already an overthinking introvert which cries over stupid tv shows everyday and being clumsy asf ,starting to struggle with school) my crush (also my best friend and same sex) read my diary and found everything out and we were awkward for like 2 years cause my other friend (a girl that is my friend but still bullied me and led to panic attacks) stole it. I was done. My friends hated me cause I wouldn’t forgive them so they started a deep talk about me saying that I was gossiping behind their backs (although I was young and wanted everyone to like me). I couldn’t defend myself cause I always build big speeches up in my head but end up not being able to say anything. I was awkward with all my friends and I used to be quite touchy but after that a single little touch made me scared so I apologized and made everything a bigger thing that it was cause I worried that these people would think I “liked” them when I touched them. My Tennisclub hates me anyway because of my emotional outbursts when I play. So now I’m scared of people and my friends have liked me again for a long long time now but say I’m the biggest introvert they know and one of them provokes me cause she loves to see me freaking out. We have a big friend group now and they always hang out after school but I don’t want to join cause I like being in my room more. I don’t talk to them and I can’t talk with my sister cause at the part where I grew the most (age 11-15) she wasn’t there.
I don't know if it's a good thing that I relate too all the things you lived. I'm still living like this, I don't know what to do. I'm a senior, I have bad grades, no one in school, and people are judging me. I'm just tired of life. Sorry I'm rumbling.
Here I am as a 20 year old infp hoping to give some advice, I was also bullied but when I was in school at 14 I'd reached my breaking point, weirdly it was the best thing that ever happend. Ignoring bullies did nothing and telling teachers did nothing, but I learned ignoring meant something else. The real me (hyper bizarre person) that I only showed with close friends, I made come out infront of my bullies, so as I was ignoring them but picturing them as close people and addressing them that way. They stopped. Soon the people who bullied me were bullied by my previous bullies. It wasn't what I had in mind... But it worked. As everyone loves a clown
Trust no one, most people betray at one point or another just how humans are, nothing can be done about that but to live by example and stay true to yourself, its all we really have, because not being true to yourself will eventually destroy your soul. Being ethical many times means being a doormat others step all over because they think it makes it easier to violate you but for an infp many times we can't afford to live that kind of life so you just have to cultivate deep inner strength where you do what you see fit (given you truly done the self analysis and work, we can be wrong about stuff) be and let the rest roll off, the rest is not on you, you did your part let no one disrespect you, and be-careful who you confide in alot of fakes especially in this incoming AI takeover, fakeness is going to be lord, and knowing whats real and whats not will be a little more tricky. Standing firm in your beliefs (analyzed, not unanalyzed and gone through vigorous testing) its going to extremely beneficial without loosing yourself or letting others override your knowing and confidence in yourself. Just make sure your stuff is legit and you are not just repeating someone elses ideas but its truly authentic and through lived experience, and based on real truth and knowledge. The best thing as an infp you can do for humanity is to be yourself and do the shadow work so that humanity's shadow doesn't 1. possess you 2. makes you depressed and bitter over the way things are, this is a fallen planet you alone won't change that the best you can do is be a catalyst for change but you can't do that if you haven't done your own inner work, don't project onto others, take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you, and vigorously test and deconstruct your beliefs, and state of being, don't fall for the cheap stuff, fakeness, and cheap dopamine hits. Develop self mastery. Be patient.
Very well done! I'm not an INFP who feels apologetic after drifting away from what may have felt like a budding friendship with someone. I don't feel it's appropriate to apologize for being an introvert. I'm not seeking the level of social interaction that most extroverts do. I see my inner world as what develops naturally by following that internal guidance, and value it such that it creates something deeper to appreciate, and to hopefully contribute to others in the most authentic way.
I don't know how it all is working...I don't see anyone as my friend...nor I don't want anyone...it's kinda bad and sad...but I'm literally happy and my peace matters most to me
I have never heard myself explained in a video more correctly. This video says everything I feel but never comes out right. I want to cry. Thank you, sincerely!
This is so accurate and helpful! Despite knowing all of this about myself (INFP) I feel that I understand it better now. I hope you'll make videos about other personalities too, if you don't mind, that would be very precious
Oh geez, the beginning part of this video ended up making me remember the times my arguments with my mom got so bad that I literally gave her the silent treatment for days on end, some of which lasted for an entire month. Those were some very dark times that nearly led me to a very dark path completely. Things are good between me and her now, at least for the most part. Due to the past arguments I had with her, I’m constantly reluctant on telling her certain things out of fear that she’s gonna make me feel bad for going against her expectations of me or making me think that everybody who’s in my family will feel the same way as her and so on. She’s not been doing that lately, but I can never feel 100% confident about it being absolute
I don't often express opinions that go against the majority. It doesn't mean I agree with them but I don't want to be beaten down by the others. When I do finally express myself, it's as if the other person goes into shock - how dare they go against me? They have always agreed with me! I had a real opinion that went against what my sister believed - I refused to back down and she cursed me for it. I can't imagine explaining it to her so I haven't spoken to her for like half a year. I realized family are people that, although nice, would be people I wouldn't be friends if I met them on the street.
Reminds me of a playful rendition of a social event at my church a long time ago. It was a fun piece where I narrated a fun game with the characters doing their fun actions and all. One young person later said that he couldn't imagine that the write up had come from me! I had been too quiet all along but a good observer and writer. No one knew! We are who we are with no apologies. Keep growing ya 🌱
I’m an ENFP but due to early childhood abuse and social trauma, I inverted into an INFP personality, so grew up just like you described. I slowly recovered my natural ENFP personality from the ages of about 14 to 25. The last thing I did in my 20s that helped me tremendously was mirror therapy. I talk about that on my channel in the documentary How To Love Yourself. It was life changing to say the least. All negatives aside, it’s kind of cool that I grew up as an INFP as I am totally at ease with both socializing and spending time alone, which as a writer a lot of alone time is necessary and more than I prefer, but I can do it, no problem. As an ENFP I am great at goal setting, pursuing and accomplishing my goals more so than I see others doing. I am also great at following my heart by weighing all of my desires and choosing the greatest ones to pursue, while abandoning the rest. I have lived an adventurous, happy, and successful life all over the place, currently (for the past 6 years) in the Philippines. I’ve also mastered many different skills and talents over the years as I have a passion for learning and excelling. I’m 61 now and still making my dreams come true. Growing up, my mom always accused me of being full of pipe dreams. She was wrong 😉. As I’ve never stopped dreaming up new things to do, pursuing, and achieving them. ❤
I did the mbti test multiple times, the result would come out sometimes as INFJ, sometimes it's INFP. I think I identify myself more as an INFJ, but I'm curious about INFPs too. I have a friend whom I think is an INFP because this video is like describing her personality. Thank you for this video!
I think it's better to dive deeper to cognitive functions rather than focusing on the result and description on the mbti. Knowing the cognitive functions helps me better understand myself.
yeah I was feeling the same these days ..i simply could'nt reason my actions because I did it cause it felt like it and people just can't digest it ....
1) They are in an uncomfortable environment. 2) They feel betrayed. 3)They blame themselves. Think people are better off without them. 4) They do not know how to return to a relationship after isolating. 5) They want some peace for themselves. 6) They can't find words to describe their emotions.
I distanced myself from most people in my life because I felt like they didn’t appreciate me or understand me. I felt so much pain in those relationships because I couldn’t express what I felt was lacking in the relationship and I felt so hurt. Not only that, but I’ve had “friends” use me and abuse me and then ditch me and ghost me and betray my trust. Not only that I had a “friend” (I really loved) betray me by stealing my idea and not giving me any credit and thinking I wouldn’t be completely heartbroken by that. I left them and they never contacted me again so I guess I know what they really thought of me. They thought I was worthless and no I feel completely worthless because nobody has ever cared about me as much as I cared about them. 💔💔💔
I just remembered this: when I'm in highschool I happened to be talking to my groupmates smiling and being nice but someone butts in, she somewhat notices my smiling alot. I, instead of answering her,I somewhat laid back(slouch) and be silent the whole discussion of them and I removed myself from talking to them until the year end of that year. 😏😅😏
I’m an ENFP with an INFP best friend. I learned many years ago that when he’s upset with me, which thankfully is rare, I have to let him come to me in his own time. It goes against my nature not to talk it all out asap, but some people just need space.
How did you learn this? I'm an ENFJ going through this with an INFP. I've already reached out probably too many times thinking I needed to tell him how much I care but now I'm worried I've burnt the bridge by reaching out too many times (about a dozen times in the past year, only got 3 responses 😬)
3:23 bruh that's so contradicting and selfish for INFPs to think in this way, it hurts even more for anyone who cares about em when they just vanish due to their own overthinking
It's a trauma response. We don't just "think this way" there's hella evidence to support it. In your short comment, you called INFPs selfish and blamed us for our "own overthinking". Now as an INFP-T who grew up, did my own work to heal from trauma and re- parent myself and is now INFP-A, I'll be the first to admit where I'm exacerbating problems, but most people don't. They're scared children in big bodies so belittling them further isn't going to help whatever you think they're putting you through. Heal yourself so their issues have less pull on your life
Personally leaving people behind for me was not easy to do. It was when i realized thats what you must do when some types of people do not treat you well and it is pointless to argue. In my opinion it is something we SHOULD learn how to do more, because we often find ourselves in the corner of and defending the wrong people and holding on too tight for it to not hurt us badly.
tthats why i choose not to be too close with anyone... we have a wall in between, sometimes feel guilty to my family for the silent treatment but the unfit personality makes me so tired and always makes me angry... i even getting angry with everyone i didn't know on the street, just so frustrated
As INFP with 5w4 (INTP type in enneagram), I straight deadass not talk to people if I dislike them, and I dont see any reason to explain myself to them why. I ghost people all of the sudden and very unhinged. I'm kinda cruel that way.
This is extremely helpful. I isolate in order to process what is happening so that I don't add unhealth to the situation. I'm very conscientious about doing what's right and taking time to know what that is. But then, it just becomes a habit and seems difficult to reconnect. I'm working on this.
Silent treatment is real. Not being able to speak my emotions is also real. But man, online or while writing, I can explain them so well. It's like, I'm not me when talking on paper or online. It's frustrating for me as well, not being able to talk to someone as openly as I'd with friends. And despite me wanting to, or should stay angry with someone, I just can't. I can't stay angry with someone for too long, I'll end up needing to say something to them anyways, and later I'll just be laughing my ass off. Emotion regulation, I suppose, my mother said it is.
It's the same with friends, I'd find them annoying at times, then remind myself I'm just as annoying to my family- self sabotage. But it's the truth. They do things I find annoying, and then I'd just do the silent treatment. Or they judge. Hypocrite, me.
I was writing a comment about how there's a point in all INFP's lives where they just disappear without warning, and it got me thinking of the tragedy of Richie-James Edwards. I typed his name and MBTI into google and the first link showed a 98% INFP match. Then I looked closer and saw he has the same birthday as me.
I'd like to point out that all FP types do these, not just INFPs. And that this is a really good video to watch if you aren't an Fi, and need help understanding the FPs in your life!
I distance myself until I hear an apology then I'll forgive immediately. And not through a proxy either. It's really that simple. I can forgive anyone who asks me. Even if they don't. But I can't let them back in until they say it publicly.
The reason why I've recently decided to distance myself is because I've tried to get along with people. I've tried to express to them what's going on. People don't hear anything. You can sit there and explain things about a million times but they never get anything through their thick skulls. All they do is gaslight and give you some overly dramatic speech about how you need to be more like them and throw all your efforts to get along and understand right back up in your face. Along with trying to tell you how you feel after you literally just finished explaining that to them. What sense does that even make? I see no point in interacting with a person if they're only going to refuse to hear anything I say and twist every single one of my words into a negative just so they can continue to see me as a monster. I'm not going to be treated like some kind of disease. People always have some dumb complaint about "My INFP won't talk to me whine whine whine" but they keep insisting on acting like a douche. I don't understand that.
Calling INFP's tendency to retreat into self - the silent treatment is using terminology that attaches negative stigma to this method of self preservation. Also people having the audacity to accuse INFP of being NPD and ASPD because of our natural rejection of conformity. How can a healer/mediator conform to any specific belief? Nothing could be resolved with this bias that would have a tendency to lean towards one party or the other, but the purpose of us INFP is to take current beliefs, personal experiences, and any walls/barriers that you might have that keep you from venturing into new ideas that could potentially fix things can be better viewed, unless of course you're simply pissed that I've hypothetically given you the clear and obvious solution despite darkness clouding your perception of these qualities. I feel that it's safe to assume that anyone who is INFP and/neurodivergent is definitely a whole ''nother (edit) level of unique. Should coin a new common term for INFP, should have as many syllables as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
All your words are 1000% true but I always feel guilty for small things that doesn't even matter to others . Will you please give some advice or some practices to overcome these . Please 🙏🏻 😔
Mostly it´s not worth it. If they are shitty people and I warned them before, that their behaviour is not acceptable and they dont change, they dont exist anymore. It´s not my Job do change them, they have to do it themselves. At least with people you dont know that much and aren´t that close. With close friends, it takes longer. I´m always suprised about their pikachu faces
Thank you for this video. I am an INTP. I recently met an INFP and we hit it off. However, for no explicable reason, communication as simple as normal text sometime would be sort of disjointed or atypical assymmetry of temporal response. As an INTP and extreme introvert I understand her as an INFP. But it's weird because once an INTP has a warmth and fancy it is an atypical metamorphosis of effervescent desire to connect with communication to a kindred spirit that may be off putting. If you have any insight into this, I would greatly appreciate your candor. So Time as the tincture for temporal readjustment and to allow my enthusiasm for her not to become that which would overwhelm her I plan on simply observe and let her direct communication speed. That being said, I don't want her to think that I have given up on her either. Thanks again for your insight and excellent video. Cheers.
As an INFP I would prefer if somebody would ask me something anything at all, and I would completely welcome somebody inquiring as to why I am mad at them, because all that I ever want to do is resolve the situation, all that anybody else wants to do is pretend that everything is okay as every INFP knows and probably most people know that things are not okay in most cases.
Thank you for the video, I've been watching all of your videos lately and when you addressed us near the end I just suddenly teared up. Thank you so much
INFP aren't empathetic, at least by default. I'm sure it could be learned but coming from an INFP, it'd be superficial for the most part. Extraverted feeling correlates to empathy. Introverted feeling correlates to sympathy. There's a difference between feeling someone else's emotions as opposed to understanding them. So, to reiterate, INFP aren't empathetic. They don't feel others feelings and emotions. They only feel their own, thus understanding said emotions. Again, this is by default and not a learned process.
right now i'm isolating because i don't know how to return. i've only responded to one person in 3 weeks. it started out as a mixture between wanting some peace cuz i was spiraling and not being able to put it into words. i'm fine now but i feel super guilty for not replying, but any time i click on the messages to try to reach out, i have a mini-spiral and i just can't.
This lack one in my opinion. "Don't have anything nice/kind to say" This usually put me just shrug mode where I refuse to interract with the situation because I feel I would just throw gazoline in the fire. I do not necessarily blame myself, or feeluncomfortable, I just feel I cannot make the people listen at that moment anything constructive or comforting. So I sit there, silent, shrugging when asked to particitpate, untill the time to say something arrives.
What I am facing rn is that I can't express what my mind is saying I just say gibberish I even tho the other side understood me I don't fell that they care
Very good - yes that’s me! Helps to see I’m not alone! Really just looking for an excuse to comment and share to help the algorithm haha Really thanks!
Estj's never try to put me in structure,they atleast give the other end of what im sayin,they give facts to consider about the issue.Those who want to impose 'society's" ways are intj's and entps.Thats my experience
I distance myself mainly because I *am* misunderstood. And I just don't have the energy to explain myself. Life is disappointing
mood
Soooo true
I also distance myself from people who are overwhelming and cross boundaries all the time. Though their intentions are good I just can't take them.
Unfortunately many folks don't get that well-intentioned doesn't necessarily mean well-received, especially if they are perceived as smart-asses. Then enter the inevitable gaslighting: "I only meant well."
Right! And at the same time depict them as incompetent. Surely sounds legit...
Add bonus points if they start blaming you for being "too sensitive" when you are reacting negatively to their pretentiousness.
Same
This is real. Especially if someone is interested in dating you, but doesn't want to get to know you beyond just surfacey details. What a nightmare
I'm done being tolerant of stupid people. They drain me now after years of being kind and gentle.
I am an infp. I am so frustrated now. I became a hermit
This was so helpful! I’ve felt like I’ve been spiralling recently due to family matters and trying to move forward. The truth is, I’m the only INFP in my whole family. It makes me sad when I can’t relate to them and it constantly feels like my fault when conflict arises. This channel helps to remind me to be kinder to myself, that I can’t fit in the perceptions others have of me and that I don’t need their validation to be happy. Thank you. Thank you so much for relieving some of the loneliness of being an INFP ❤
Same. Good luck
I know it can be hard, being the only INFP in the family arrives very often I think (from personal expérience too). But in your school, your hobbies or your career, you can find other INFPs who will understand you (MBTI permit that because you can spot them). I've found some when coming to high school and it's refreshing from loneliness.
I feel the same way, but I know that this is something that will pass in time once you meet people through hobbies or work. On another note, it's great to see another Inuyasha fan.
@@ThierryLarose-h1i I am just ending my career, don't attend church and busy with a grandchild, some of the time. I help family members, which keeps me too busy. I am in a new state. I don't know how to have new opportunities to meet people, other than visiting the senior center. I am afraid I will sit around and get fat if I go there, unless they go dancing. I can't drive after dark, myself anymore, so that ended my fun, there.
@@ThierryLarose-h1i Oops, I think you were responding to Sacredarrow, above😁😊
Exactly, 100% true.
As an INFP, the most important reason towards why I don't like communicating with people is primarily because of judgement. I might say something I come to regret or I might think a certain way someone else may feel offended over and they will judge me off of my opinions. In reality, I do grow and realize the error of my ways, while with other opinions I might tend to stand my ground if it means a great deal to me, but I constantly live in a state of exile from people I might be interested in talking to, simply because I'm afraid of what their impression of me is, and the saddest part is that I do realize that it's unhealthy to distance myself from people, but continue to do it anyway because of my appearance, opinions, and choices, that and a sense of protecting myself against bad influences make me paranoid around people I don't even know. When I'm eating lunch at high school, I'll just sit at a table, alone, and realize just how much a shell of a person I have become. I feel selfish even having to write this comment because I take it so personal. It hurts me greatly.
You're not selfish for this. I relate with you 100%. Same reason; fear of judgement and unacceptance from other people. But honestly I have to tell you I want to reach out to people and get to know them......but my tendencies to people please and constantly overthinking about how others view and think of me is making me become a very way-too-kind person and for some reason, toxic and unhealthy people kept coming into my life.
Probably because I got the same negative tendencies of them and we resonated, and tbh I've lost many friends because those friends r actually toxic.....I kept attracting toxic people into my life......
Tbh, I think the main thing we have to do now as INFPs is that we really have to take care of ourselves first, build our self worth and set boundaries. The only way that we will stop caring about what others think is to accept and love ourselves as who we are, and continuously strive for improvements and personal growth. This way many people who are also working on personal growth will eventually join us and be our friends, and these type of friends are our genuine and true friends.
I'm still learning to become better as an INFP, so I think the first thing we need to do is to accept ourselves as who we are and strive for personal growth and development. Screw what haters think of us. We have to stop caring about what others think and take care of ourselves. That's when other people who have the same goal as you will be attracted to you and thus you have genuine and true friends.
I relate to you so much. Don't worry, you're not selfish.
Yo me tuve que adaptar a estos entornos, pero simplemente debes conocer gente que te agrade. Podrás superarlo amigo ;).
I would add to the last bit that it's better to talk in private. Bringing up misunderstandings with INFP in public will not go well!
Spot on. I exhibit all these traits, for better or worse. I often feel I'm defective and I'm sparing others the burden of my company by isolating myself.
💯 know that feeling very well
INFPs are mostly friends with people who can give them the space they need and not take that distance personally .. they will do anything for a person who doesn’t cage them mentally into societal expectations and just let them be themselves unfortunately not many people are that understanding and it will make an INFP disappointed and completely isolate themselves and feel they are all alone and no one understands them as far as family goes being an INFP and having a loud and chaotic atmosphere at home can make them internalise all the anger and frustration towards their family members and make them burst out one day for no reason and maybe even run away from such people who constantly criticise each other or shout at every little thing .. INFPs hate conflict and arguments and fail to understand why people instead of communicating and finding solutions , yell at each other and make every argument such a horrible nightmare .
I’m distancing myself from a group I love right now. Because I know I’ve become emotionally unstable with my anxiety and don’t want it to impact anyone in the group.
I’m at least proud of myself for letting the person I trust the most in the group know why I left and how long I think I will be away… and that honestly made letting go so much easier for me. Now instead of feeling like I’ve abandoned them, I feel more like I’m taking care of myself. And I know that they are okay with giving me space and waiting for my return when I am ready.
Leaving people behind does work sometimes. We can't hang on to everybody forever. And, yes, sometimes the people we leave behind are better off without us. Not necessarily because we're so awful but just because we might be too difficult for some people to relate to, cope with, find a workable modus vivendi with. Okay, fine, goodbye. And I'm happy to be the bad guy in your memories (what difference does it make ultimately in my life anyway); if you'll be happier and freer without me, I'll always be glad for that.
It's precisely because we want only the very closest, probably very small circle--hardly enough even to make a "circle"--of friends that we are able to leave some people behind. It all makes very plain sense, actually.
Some of us would be happier with you in our lives and really don't like that decision being made for us 😭😭😭
I miss my INFP dearly. He felt like home to me, but a year ago he locked the door and he won't let me back in. I suspect he thinks he can't make me happy or he's not good enough for me but I disagree because I know he and I value different things in relationships, and the things he thinks he needs to be aren't what I value. I like him for the flawed human he is. I see him more than he realizes, I love him just as he is, and I don't want to change him
Extremely accurate, as an infp it's been difficult to be at school because of these. I can't keep up with everyone and I have to pressure myself cause i'm the biggest burden in my family for being slow. Being motivated is hard to become, I can't rush things because I want them to be authentic and that I actually learned something. It has been difficult every time I argue with my family and trying to explain that I'm not as efficient as everyone else but I can't counter their argument because I have a hard time explaining.
Authencity is the way to go! You said that well 👍 And taking time is the cost we pay, there's no other way (others don't mind bluffing their way along or fake it till they make it).
Clarity will pop up on an issue belatedly. That's when you quickly write the story down and capture all your emotions and resolution on that issue. A lesson learnt! Your journal is your closest friend.
Just man up and learn properly, no excuses
Relatable af!
When I was in middle school I remember bawling my eyes out, thinking all my friends hated me and I was only a burden to them. I felt that my sadness would bring everyone else down. I thought they didn’t want to hear about my problems, but it was the exact opposite. I’m glad to have healthy relationships and fantastic friends now
When did u figure out it was the opposite?
I seldom give the silent treatment to anyone as I know how much I hate of being on the receiving end of that.
Thanks for the video. This hits different. I detached even when I have people who love me, and friends who reach out to me. I know Im supposed to be grateful with what I have. But I cant help but feel like I dont deserve them. I think im not needed, yet they reach out, and because of these emotions, I shut them down. My emotions are in chaos. Of course, I also know at the back of my mind that these thoughts of mine are not true. I know it will be better. Just waiting for that time that I would heal.
so true....
* sigh * same. i think (personally) it roots down to feeling unlovable and unworthy of other people's love and feeling more of a burden than trusting that we are good company and worthy of love (just like every human (except me)). Knowing this doesn't do anything though...still don't know how to get better. * sigh *
@majdianne you hit the nail on the head. Actually all personality 'disorders' stem from low self worth when you boil it all down. That's the work. Reprogramming yourself to know and trust that you are worthy and to truly love yourself and improve your internal relationship. That's how you go from INFP-T to INFP-A. We fuss over our own thoughts and emotions neglecting our true selves - the beings having the thoughts which cause emotional responses. Once you prioritize your internal relationship, all others naturally fall into place.
I don't like walking on eggshells all the time. If I am myself with people, they literally can't handle my directness. So I wind up just keeping quiet all the time. It's fine by me. I do think quite differently, and I don't go with the flow, just because everyone else is. Not part of the hive, the flock, the herd, they know it, I know it. It's ok.
I feel that I dont express my emotions more out of fear that other people wont find them reasonable feelings. that they will trivialize how i feel. I feel i understand and can communicate just that the person im having an issue with wont understand.
Same. No reason to tell what I truly think to someone if they won't get it anyways. Why bother right?
I feel like this might not be a healthy practice, though
😅 I love it when you said " an infp who's hurt is hurt " true to hell.
Is there anything that can be done in that case? An INFP hurt me, and my reaction to protect myself ended up hurting him. I took some space and can see his point of view better now (his actions still weren't very nice, but I forgive him because I wasn't communicating that they were hurting me and never gave him a chance to try to do better). I'd like to repair the relationship but he ghosted me and only responds if I go months without reaching out. When he responds I inevitably get too excited and reply too much (usually with encouragement about what he told me is going on in his life - I'm an ENFJ 🙃) and he goes silent again
I don't know what to do and I'm literally in tears as I write this. We had such a beautiful rare connection and I don't want to lose it all over 1 fight that could have been prevented if we'd both been communicating better in the first place
I personally experienced all of them. How about you? What caused you to be distant from the people you care about?
A constant flow of garbage comes out of their mouth every time they speak. It's intolerable. I've tried to reconnect and only through email. It was so copious and such filth I had to block the emails, finally. I tried a few responses to calm them down. This only made it worse. There was criticism of me, of other family members and just too many words + WORDS
@@3SeasonsUSAthis is probably because they've been trapped too long with people who dont accept or respect them. They learned to fight. I did that. When I stopped fighting all my true feelings surfaced. I was extremely suicidal. My anger saved my life then I told it goodbye. The more loving I am the more loving others become. People who aren't loving fall away. I no longer feel compelled to use words with others but with a Turbulent INFP it works the opposite, the more loving people are to the INFP,, the more vulnerable, (see youtube soft start up by Gottman), the more they will feel secure and safe around you.
If you want to change their mind you need to be, I hate to say this, sneaky. You need to pretend like you care about what they are saying. Ex. Tell them you understand their view, what they're going through, or you want to understand. Respect them if they share, even if they are in pain, flailing like a fish out of water, then say this is just what I have to do or this is how I feel, with kindness in your eyes. I would love if you would join me or agree but I understand if you can't. Mileage varies. This is just an example which may not fully apply to your situation.
Yes!!! 😞
@@3SeasonsUSA I think you experienced what called "Fi repulsion switch"
@@maihongle110 What is that
i used to have some friends who i hangout with. but there are times i felt uncomfortable because most of things they talk about are gossiping and there are times i tried talking about my feelings but they cut me off and i feel denied. and after a while i felt like they just talked to each other even when im around. it felt so lonely. so i got friended with other people who i felt more comfortable with. my previous friends tried to talk me to sometimes but i just cant. when your feelings got denied it was the worst feeling ever. and i distanced myself more. there are times i felt like i was the one at fault because i didnt tell them how i really feel and instead went my way looking for new friends. we talked sometimes but only important or work matter. i just cant be friends with them anymore.
I feel you so much! Bring cut off or whenever you talk and they don't seem to listen really breaks my heart and I feel so lacking and disappointed. I feel like it's me who's the problem 😞
If you didn't tell them or give them the opportunity to correct their behavior then that's a you problem, not a them problem. People can't read your mind, and some people get over excited when they talk so they don't even realize they're doing that until you point it out
Me at school: i stop talking to the mates i don't have friends anymore i wish never meet them and i wish being invisible
It's more for inner peace I think. I've got a few close friends but they're like blood brothers. Also mature INFPs know their worth and know when to not burn bridges.
I experienced the same thing from this video. Unfortunately I don't have someone I can talk with and someone who I once love the most, also the one who don't care about me the most
Related to so much of this. Isolating just seems safer.
The thumbnail really got me. When my friends are talking to other people I usually walk away and let them have their conversation unless they explicitly show that they want me to stay. One reason is I get jealous easily especially when my friends are with their other friends that I don't really talk with. Another is I feel really awkward when I'm kind of just standing there, listening in on another conversation that I'm not part of. I don't know if that's just me though-
The silent treatment is something I won't inflict on others. I grew up watching my mother manipulate my father through the silent treatment. Now she has not spoken to me for years either, because I dared to stick up for myself one time.
I do sometimes get overwhelmed with my emotions and it can take a while for me to process them and put words to them. There are times when my husband will ask me what's wrong and I don't know what to say. My instinct is to run and hide until I figure it out but I don't want to hurt him the way my mother hurts others.
So I honestly tell him that I don't know what's wrong and I'm working it out. Then I reach in and have him hold me for a couple minutes. I can accept that comforting hug and he lets it go because he knows that I'm not shutting him out.
An INFP just needs a cabin in the woods, or to be in a monastery. At a certain point, the burns will simply be too great, and the payoff will be too little, for this type to continue to want to invest in mainstream society. Once that happens, there is literally no motivation to turn back.
I was watching this and my gf (ENFP) was listening. She kept nodding and agreeing from time to time 😂 She also intently listened to the advice you said because I still sometimes distance myself from her or not talk to her about things or what I'm feeling because I can't express them to words. She's patient. She tries her best to understand me and give me some space and time when it happens. We recently tried a compromise that she proposed. When it happens or when I can't express what I'm feeling or I can't talk to her, I either say the magic word (a word we agreed on that we can use or say if we're uncomfortable/need some time & space) or she asks me to type it instead or send it through message even though we're together or face to face. She'll wait until I'm done writing or when I'm ready to show her and let her read my thoughts or feelings. It's working and it helps somehow because I also don't want to make her overthink when I distance myself.
Good call because we ENF's definitely overthink 🙃 (I'm ENFJ)
I think I’ve grown to be an INFP through childhood experiences. When I was younger people called me annoying and over the top with energy, ugly and other mean stuff. That started to make me feel like my pure existence is disturbing others.
Then my older sister who was there for me left for an exchange year to the US but decided to stay there. I grew up with a sister so I started to feel like writing my problems into books and thinking and overthinking 24/7 cause I had no one but myself to share my problems with (parents weren’t an option cause my mum is a weird s*x addict that cheated on my dad and my dad was always worried about finances).
Then (I was already an overthinking introvert which cries over stupid tv shows everyday and being clumsy asf ,starting to struggle with school) my crush (also my best friend and same sex) read my diary and found everything out and we were awkward for like 2 years cause my other friend (a girl that is my friend but still bullied me and led to panic attacks) stole it. I was done. My friends hated me cause I wouldn’t forgive them so they started a deep talk about me saying that I was gossiping behind their backs (although I was young and wanted everyone to like me). I couldn’t defend myself cause I always build big speeches up in my head but end up not being able to say anything. I was awkward with all my friends and I used to be quite touchy but after that a single little touch made me scared so I apologized and made everything a bigger thing that it was cause I worried that these people would think I “liked” them when I touched them.
My Tennisclub hates me anyway because of my emotional outbursts when I play.
So now I’m scared of people and my friends have liked me again for a long long time now but say I’m the biggest introvert they know and one of them provokes me cause she loves to see me freaking out. We have a big friend group now and they always hang out after school but I don’t want to join cause I like being in my room more. I don’t talk to them and I can’t talk with my sister cause at the part where I grew the most (age 11-15) she wasn’t there.
I don't know if it's a good thing that I relate too all the things you lived. I'm still living like this, I don't know what to do. I'm a senior, I have bad grades, no one in school, and people are judging me. I'm just tired of life. Sorry I'm rumbling.
Here I am as a 20 year old infp hoping to give some advice, I was also bullied but when I was in school at 14 I'd reached my breaking point, weirdly it was the best thing that ever happend. Ignoring bullies did nothing and telling teachers did nothing, but I learned ignoring meant something else. The real me (hyper bizarre person) that I only showed with close friends, I made come out infront of my bullies, so as I was ignoring them but picturing them as close people and addressing them that way.
They stopped.
Soon the people who bullied me were bullied by my previous bullies.
It wasn't what I had in mind...
But it worked.
As everyone loves a clown
Trust no one, most people betray at one point or another just how humans are, nothing can be done about that but to live by example and stay true to yourself, its all we really have, because not being true to yourself will eventually destroy your soul. Being ethical many times means being a doormat others step all over because they think it makes it easier to violate you but for an infp many times we can't afford to live that kind of life so you just have to cultivate deep inner strength where you do what you see fit (given you truly done the self analysis and work, we can be wrong about stuff) be and let the rest roll off, the rest is not on you, you did your part let no one disrespect you, and be-careful who you confide in alot of fakes especially in this incoming AI takeover, fakeness is going to be lord, and knowing whats real and whats not will be a little more tricky.
Standing firm in your beliefs (analyzed, not unanalyzed and gone through vigorous testing) its going to extremely beneficial without loosing yourself or letting others override your knowing and confidence in yourself. Just make sure your stuff is legit and you are not just repeating someone elses ideas but its truly authentic and through lived experience, and based on real truth and knowledge. The best thing as an infp you can do for humanity is to be yourself and do the shadow work so that humanity's shadow doesn't 1. possess you 2. makes you depressed and bitter over the way things are, this is a fallen planet you alone won't change that the best you can do is be a catalyst for change but you can't do that if you haven't done your own inner work, don't project onto others, take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you, and vigorously test and deconstruct your beliefs, and state of being, don't fall for the cheap stuff, fakeness, and cheap dopamine hits. Develop self mastery. Be patient.
Very well done! I'm not an INFP who feels apologetic after drifting away from what may have felt like a budding friendship with someone. I don't feel it's appropriate to apologize for being an introvert. I'm not seeking the level of social interaction that most extroverts do. I see my inner world as what develops naturally by following that internal guidance, and value it such that it creates something deeper to appreciate, and to hopefully contribute to others in the most authentic way.
What about if it's an established relationship?
I don't know how it all is working...I don't see anyone as my friend...nor I don't want anyone...it's kinda bad and sad...but I'm literally happy and my peace matters most to me
im an INFP male and know that im here for you 💖you got this and i believe in you!
thanks brother
I wish this video never ends
Getting more and more out of these video's with each viewing. My wife and I are both INFP, and your video's consistently describe us both.
This explains my ENTIRE life😢
Good analysis. For the past few years, I've been close to a turbulent INFP. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. From an ISFJ
I have never heard myself explained in a video more correctly. This video says everything I feel but never comes out right. I want to cry. Thank you, sincerely!
Good for you to be able to talk about your feelings and explain them verbally. I'm glad you have someone who actually listens to you.
This is so accurate and helpful! Despite knowing all of this about myself (INFP) I feel that I understand it better now. I hope you'll make videos about other personalities too, if you don't mind, that would be very precious
Oh geez, the beginning part of this video ended up making me remember the times my arguments with my mom got so bad that I literally gave her the silent treatment for days on end, some of which lasted for an entire month. Those were some very dark times that nearly led me to a very dark path completely. Things are good between me and her now, at least for the most part. Due to the past arguments I had with her, I’m constantly reluctant on telling her certain things out of fear that she’s gonna make me feel bad for going against her expectations of me or making me think that everybody who’s in my family will feel the same way as her and so on. She’s not been doing that lately, but I can never feel 100% confident about it being absolute
💯💯💯 MBTI is such a blessing
I don't often express opinions that go against the majority. It doesn't mean I agree with them but I don't want to be beaten down by the others. When I do finally express myself, it's as if the other person goes into shock - how dare they go against me? They have always agreed with me! I had a real opinion that went against what my sister believed - I refused to back down and she cursed me for it. I can't imagine explaining it to her so I haven't spoken to her for like half a year. I realized family are people that, although nice, would be people I wouldn't be friends if I met them on the street.
Its like i become a different person from the version they build themselfs in their head,a person they don''t know anymore,or they never knew
@@DamyanTenev That's it.
Reminds me of a playful rendition of a social event at my church a long time ago. It was a fun piece where I narrated a fun game with the characters doing their fun actions and all. One young person later said that he couldn't imagine that the write up had come from me! I had been too quiet all along but a good observer and writer. No one knew! We are who we are with no apologies. Keep growing ya 🌱
I’m an ENFP but due to early childhood abuse and social trauma, I inverted into an INFP personality, so grew up just like you described.
I slowly recovered my natural ENFP personality from the ages of about 14 to 25. The last thing I did in my 20s that helped me tremendously was mirror therapy. I talk about that on my channel in the documentary How To Love Yourself. It was life changing to say the least.
All negatives aside, it’s kind of cool that I grew up as an INFP as I am totally at ease with both socializing and spending time alone, which as a writer a lot of alone time is necessary and more than I prefer, but I can do it, no problem.
As an ENFP I am great at goal setting, pursuing and accomplishing my goals more so than I see others doing. I am also great at following my heart by weighing all of my desires and choosing the greatest ones to pursue, while abandoning the rest.
I have lived an adventurous, happy, and successful life all over the place, currently (for the past 6 years) in the Philippines.
I’ve also mastered many different skills and talents over the years as I have a passion for learning and excelling.
I’m 61 now and still making my dreams come true.
Growing up, my mom always accused me of being full of pipe dreams. She was wrong 😉. As I’ve never stopped dreaming up new things to do, pursuing, and achieving them.
❤
I did the mbti test multiple times, the result would come out sometimes as INFJ, sometimes it's INFP. I think I identify myself more as an INFJ, but I'm curious about INFPs too. I have a friend whom I think is an INFP because this video is like describing her personality. Thank you for this video!
I think it's better to dive deeper to cognitive functions rather than focusing on the result and description on the mbti. Knowing the cognitive functions helps me better understand myself.
The same thing happened to me but I think I identify myself as an INFP .......
yeah I was feeling the same these days ..i simply could'nt reason my actions because I did it cause it felt like it and people just can't digest it ....
This is surprisingly accurate with me recently, especially when I was completely uprooted from everything I know.
1) They are in an uncomfortable environment. 2) They feel betrayed. 3)They blame themselves. Think people are better off without them. 4) They do not know how to return to a relationship after isolating. 5) They want some peace for themselves. 6) They can't find words to describe their emotions.
I distanced myself from most people in my life because I felt like they didn’t appreciate me or understand me. I felt so much pain in those relationships because I couldn’t express what I felt was lacking in the relationship and I felt so hurt. Not only that, but I’ve had “friends” use me and abuse me and then ditch me and ghost me and betray my trust. Not only that I had a “friend” (I really loved) betray me by stealing my idea and not giving me any credit and thinking I wouldn’t be completely heartbroken by that. I left them and they never contacted me again so I guess I know what they really thought of me. They thought I was worthless and no I feel completely worthless because nobody has ever cared about me as much as I cared about them. 💔💔💔
I cried watching this lol I felt so understood 💓
I just remembered this: when I'm in highschool I happened to be talking to my groupmates smiling and being nice but someone butts in, she somewhat notices my smiling alot. I, instead of answering her,I somewhat laid back(slouch) and be silent the whole discussion of them and I removed myself from talking to them until the year end of that year. 😏😅😏
I’m an ENFP with an INFP best friend. I learned many years ago that when he’s upset with me, which thankfully is rare, I have to let him come to me in his own time. It goes against my nature not to talk it all out asap, but some people just need space.
How did you learn this? I'm an ENFJ going through this with an INFP. I've already reached out probably too many times thinking I needed to tell him how much I care but now I'm worried I've burnt the bridge by reaching out too many times (about a dozen times in the past year, only got 3 responses 😬)
Everything. Everywhere. All at once.
Yes. This is how we become evil.
Until we have "the talk".
3:23 bruh that's so contradicting and selfish for INFPs to think in this way, it hurts even more for anyone who cares about em when they just vanish due to their own overthinking
It's a trauma response. We don't just "think this way" there's hella evidence to support it. In your short comment, you called INFPs selfish and blamed us for our "own overthinking". Now as an INFP-T who grew up, did my own work to heal from trauma and re- parent myself and is now INFP-A, I'll be the first to admit where I'm exacerbating problems, but most people don't. They're scared children in big bodies so belittling them further isn't going to help whatever you think they're putting you through. Heal yourself so their issues have less pull on your life
This is so helpful. Thank you. I'm an INFP. I'm struggling for my issues for years. I'm trying to heal alone.😅😅😅😅
Personally leaving people behind for me was not easy to do. It was when i realized thats what you must do when some types of people do not treat you well and it is pointless to argue. In my opinion it is something we SHOULD learn how to do more, because we often find ourselves in the corner of and defending the wrong people and holding on too tight for it to not hurt us badly.
tthats why i choose not to be too close with anyone... we have a wall in between, sometimes feel guilty to my family for the silent treatment but the unfit personality makes me so tired and always makes me angry... i even getting angry with everyone i didn't know on the street, just so frustrated
As INFP with 5w4 (INTP type in enneagram), I straight deadass not talk to people if I dislike them, and I dont see any reason to explain myself to them why.
I ghost people all of the sudden and very unhinged. I'm kinda cruel that way.
This is extremely helpful. I isolate in order to process what is happening so that I don't add unhealth to the situation. I'm very conscientious about doing what's right and taking time to know what that is. But then, it just becomes a habit and seems difficult to reconnect. I'm working on this.
Silent treatment is real. Not being able to speak my emotions is also real. But man, online or while writing, I can explain them so well. It's like, I'm not me when talking on paper or online. It's frustrating for me as well, not being able to talk to someone as openly as I'd with friends. And despite me wanting to, or should stay angry with someone, I just can't. I can't stay angry with someone for too long, I'll end up needing to say something to them anyways, and later I'll just be laughing my ass off. Emotion regulation, I suppose, my mother said it is.
It's the same with friends, I'd find them annoying at times, then remind myself I'm just as annoying to my family- self sabotage. But it's the truth. They do things I find annoying, and then I'd just do the silent treatment. Or they judge. Hypocrite, me.
I was writing a comment about how there's a point in all INFP's lives where they just disappear without warning, and it got me thinking of the tragedy of Richie-James Edwards. I typed his name and MBTI into google and the first link showed a 98% INFP match. Then I looked closer and saw he has the same birthday as me.
I'd like to point out that all FP types do these, not just INFPs. And that this is a really good video to watch if you aren't an Fi, and need help understanding the FPs in your life!
Good advice I already began to slowly try, but I have to say the crab at the end of the video makes me really laugh!
Every video of yours makes me feel so so understood in a way I’ve never felt… thanks for not making me feel psycho!
As if people care about us infps and they are looking for us...
Im 24 male and im slowly starting to express my emotions 4:42 its a pain in the ass
I distance myself until I hear an apology then I'll forgive immediately. And not through a proxy either. It's really that simple. I can forgive anyone who asks me. Even if they don't. But I can't let them back in until they say it publicly.
The reason why I've recently decided to distance myself is because I've tried to get along with people. I've tried to express to them what's going on. People don't hear anything. You can sit there and explain things about a million times but they never get anything through their thick skulls. All they do is gaslight and give you some overly dramatic speech about how you need to be more like them and throw all your efforts to get along and understand right back up in your face. Along with trying to tell you how you feel after you literally just finished explaining that to them. What sense does that even make? I see no point in interacting with a person if they're only going to refuse to hear anything I say and twist every single one of my words into a negative just so they can continue to see me as a monster. I'm not going to be treated like some kind of disease. People always have some dumb complaint about "My INFP won't talk to me whine whine whine" but they keep insisting on acting like a douche. I don't understand that.
It felt so accurate that i ended up crying
And now I'm distressing over which emoji to use after that
Calling INFP's tendency to retreat into self - the silent treatment is using terminology that attaches negative stigma to this method of self preservation.
Also people having the audacity to accuse INFP of being NPD and ASPD because of our natural rejection of conformity. How can a healer/mediator conform to any specific belief? Nothing could be resolved with this bias that would have a tendency to lean towards one party or the other, but the purpose of us INFP is to take current beliefs, personal experiences, and any walls/barriers that you might have that keep you from venturing into new ideas that could potentially fix things can be better viewed, unless of course you're simply pissed that I've hypothetically given you the clear and obvious solution despite darkness clouding your perception of these qualities.
I feel that it's safe to assume that anyone who is INFP and/neurodivergent is definitely a whole ''nother (edit) level of unique. Should coin a new common term for INFP, should have as many syllables as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
THIS RIGHT HERE 💯
All your words are 1000% true but I always feel guilty for small things that doesn't even matter to others . Will you please give some advice or some practices to overcome these . Please 🙏🏻 😔
Mostly it´s not worth it. If they are shitty people and I warned them before, that their behaviour is not acceptable and they dont change, they dont exist anymore. It´s not my Job do change them, they have to do it themselves. At least with people you dont know that much and aren´t that close. With close friends, it takes longer. I´m always suprised about their pikachu faces
You have totally exposed the INFPs 😂
Love this video! It’s good to have that reminder, and stay strong! 😂😂😂
Thank you for this video. I am an INTP. I recently met an INFP and we hit it off. However, for no explicable reason, communication as simple as normal text sometime would be sort of disjointed or atypical assymmetry of temporal response. As an INTP and extreme introvert I understand her as an INFP. But it's weird because once an INTP has a warmth and fancy it is an atypical metamorphosis of effervescent desire to connect with communication to a kindred spirit that may be off putting. If you have any insight into this, I would greatly appreciate your candor. So Time as the tincture for temporal readjustment and to allow my enthusiasm for her not to become that which would overwhelm her I plan on simply observe and let her direct communication speed. That being said, I don't want her to think that I have given up on her either. Thanks again for your insight and excellent video. Cheers.
Your videos are great! They seem really accurate (to me)
This channel is such a safe space❤
As an INFP I would prefer if somebody would ask me something anything at all, and I would completely welcome somebody inquiring as to why I am mad at them, because all that I ever want to do is resolve the situation, all that anybody else wants to do is pretend that everything is okay as every INFP knows and probably most people know that things are not okay in most cases.
If someone were to ask, what would be the best wording to use? I've been thinking about asking for a while but don't want to screw it up
Thank you for the video, I've been watching all of your videos lately and when you addressed us near the end I just suddenly teared up. Thank you so much
INFP aren't empathetic, at least by default. I'm sure it could be learned but coming from an INFP, it'd be superficial for the most part. Extraverted feeling correlates to empathy. Introverted feeling correlates to sympathy. There's a difference between feeling someone else's emotions as opposed to understanding them. So, to reiterate, INFP aren't empathetic. They don't feel others feelings and emotions. They only feel their own, thus understanding said emotions. Again, this is by default and not a learned process.
Wow this is soooo accurate! Best explanation I ever came across, thank you!!💜
right now i'm isolating because i don't know how to return. i've only responded to one person in 3 weeks. it started out as a mixture between wanting some peace cuz i was spiraling and not being able to put it into words. i'm fine now but i feel super guilty for not replying, but any time i click on the messages to try to reach out, i have a mini-spiral and i just can't.
This was helpful,how can a INFP know a true friend the first day and who is friend to INFP
Why can I relate too much of this person's videos :0 I am shocked
This lack one in my opinion. "Don't have anything nice/kind to say" This usually put me just shrug mode where I refuse to interract with the situation because I feel I would just throw gazoline in the fire. I do not necessarily blame myself, or feeluncomfortable, I just feel I cannot make the people listen at that moment anything constructive or comforting. So I sit there, silent, shrugging when asked to particitpate, untill the time to say something arrives.
What I am facing rn is that I can't express what my mind is saying I just say gibberish I even tho the other side understood me I don't fell that they care
How did the recommended know what I was? I didn't even know what I was. I had to check.
Very good - yes that’s me! Helps to see I’m not alone! Really just looking for an excuse to comment and share to help the algorithm haha
Really thanks!
6 out of 6! Thanks for this video, I feel seen
Estj's never try to put me in structure,they atleast give the other end of what im sayin,they give facts to consider about the issue.Those who want to impose 'society's" ways are intj's and entps.Thats my experience
I am disappearing....
Omg! It's meeee
Great summary!!!
Unless you are male INFP 4:47
2:01, is that a cat? 🐈
Why so accurate?!
I don't know what this infp thing is but a lot of it sounds familiar..
Thank you👍
I do it😊❤