Russell Brand On Getting Over His Ex-Girlfriends

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 20. 08. 2019
  • Do you find hard to stop thinking about your ex?
    Subscribe to my channel here: tinyurl.com/opragcg
    (make sure to hit the BELL icon to be notified of new videos!)
    Listen to my Under The Skin podcast here:
    luminary.link/russell
    Get my book "Recovery" here: amzn.to/2R7c810
    Get my book "Mentors" here (and as an audiobook!): amzn.to/2t0Zu9U
    Instagram: / russellbrand
    Twitter: / rustyrockets
    Produced by Jenny May Finn (Instagram: @jennymayfinn)

Komentáře • 7K

  • @lisabell2134
    @lisabell2134 Před 4 lety +1809

    You really only have yourself. Take care of that person.

    • @BOZ_11
      @BOZ_11 Před 4 lety +9

      i love you

    • @BOZ_11
      @BOZ_11 Před 3 lety +6

      @@Ben-pd2bx it is true to an extent. who else but you is responsible for the company you keep? that's a rhetorical question

    • @lisabell2134
      @lisabell2134 Před 3 lety +10

      Ben, My post wasn’t meant to be taken as literally as “be alone for the rest of your life”, or that we shouldn’t have good relationships with other people. Good relationships can enrich life. I have good family and friends, but I don’t expect that anything will last forever or that anyone else can be responsible for my happiness. I have to be content with myself and not rely on external people for that, because they can go away at any time really. You really only do have yourself and your own experiences for the rest of your life. You can only guess what others are experiencing but with you, you know. So have a good relationship with yourself first, that’s a great basis for everything else.

    • @BOZ_11
      @BOZ_11 Před 3 lety +1

      @@Ben-pd2bx once any given person has entered adulthood, at that point more than any other, they are the ultimate curators of who is in their life, and your comment doesn't say otherwise (it'd be foolish to say otherwise). If you're in a job with colleagues you hate, then it's your responsibility to yourself to spend all your recreational time looking for another job

    • @BOZ_11
      @BOZ_11 Před 3 lety +3

      @@Ben-pd2bx Changing jobs is not a privilege, it's the present day condition. No such thing as a job for life any more; we're not in the 50's. You seem very defeatist or fatalistic

  • @romezbrown5878
    @romezbrown5878 Před 4 lety +2007

    No way i am letting someone live in my mind rent free

    • @gonigbratal3963
      @gonigbratal3963 Před 4 lety +5

      She wants revenge- red flags lyric?

    • @gurusukumaran1304
      @gurusukumaran1304 Před 4 lety +7

      This comment will give you some self confidence. but that's not true. I know that because I was looking my high school honey's Facebook other social media platforms after 25 years now .she du the same I don't know

    • @grysndotwav
      @grysndotwav Před 4 lety

      Bro... that hit

    • @verfassungspatriot
      @verfassungspatriot Před 3 lety +1

      Best comment! :D

    • @censura1210
      @censura1210 Před 3 lety +13

      the more you resist the more that thought persists. so just let the chips fall where they may.

  • @Jack-goff
    @Jack-goff Před 3 lety +468

    When we break up with someone we mainly miss the companionship and routine we had with that person. Your world gets shaken up and feels unfamiliar. You gotta treat the breakup like you just had a best friend die cause that’s essentially what happened. Find comfort in being alone, there’s a lot of power in it.

    • @HawaiianCrow
      @HawaiianCrow Před 2 lety +7

      Such an amazing comment.

    • @tennispennis7579
      @tennispennis7579 Před 2 lety +6

      @@HawaiianCrow Correct , your both spot on ! RIP Ex's everywhere :)

    • @thesanders5822
      @thesanders5822 Před 2 lety +4

      It's still hard trying hard right now to move on with mine

    • @Official_dotti
      @Official_dotti Před 2 lety +3

      @@thesanders5822 you can and u will

    • @michaelsilverfoote6272
      @michaelsilverfoote6272 Před rokem +10

      I knew someone for 14 years, we were technically together for 12ish. I've been through heartbreak before, but this is the worst I've felt. I definitely owned up to everything I did or didn't do, apologized profusely. I had to move away. I exercised religiously, I journaled. I prayed. I did everything I could to deal with the immense pain. Considering I already deal with depression/anxiety/deep thoughts/fears all of my life, mostly having to do with mortality and the concept of time--facing it head on is/was scary. I surprisingly got a job back in the same city we lived in. I didn't move back there for her, it was for cost of living, being able to live on my own with a regular job to start out with, no state taxes, etc. But I have to admit, being back here, in my empty apartment, its all rushing back to me--big time. I'm letting it release when I feel the need to. I just feel alone. My depression and anxiety is flowing back. I'm thinking about her. Missing her. It's only been 4 months. So I have to give myself time. I have to do my best to use positive affirmations. One moment at a time. One day at a time. I'm just a very emotional human being and it flows deeply and strongly, it gets legitimately scary. Thank you for allowing myself to get this out. All the best.

  • @blacknapalm2131
    @blacknapalm2131 Před 2 lety +207

    *As a man that was left truly heartbroken I have a strange bit of advice, embrace the heartbreak and don't be too quick to try and get over it*
    I was so shattered that I cried every single day when I came home to an empty house, I would have to go to the sick bay at work several times a day just to cry. I got drunk almost every night, I sung to myself, I crawled on the floor, I was a mess. BUT IT PASSED. Every week it got a little less and after a few months it was fading. As a romantic and emotional person there was something about it that was special and although I did not enjoy it, I did not hate the way it felt either. Embrace your emotions, good or bad, they are fleeting, so just allow yourself to FEEL these moments while they last.

  • @supernez3685
    @supernez3685 Před 4 lety +3162

    People are more in love with their pasts than they are in their futures.

  • @Malachi_Padilla
    @Malachi_Padilla Před 3 lety +2638

    “Your ex is an illusion.”
    Facts...just...facts.

    • @xlp3880
      @xlp3880 Před 3 lety +73

      Till you bump into them

    • @svetlanaanton6669
      @svetlanaanton6669 Před 3 lety +8

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @svetlanaanton6669
      @svetlanaanton6669 Před 3 lety +35

      @@viorelstanstan6421 What is the point of bringing an ex back? They are only trouble. They are exes for a reason

    • @B.D.E.
      @B.D.E. Před 3 lety +18

      @@viorelstanstan6421 Parasite

    • @bigneiltoo
      @bigneiltoo Před 3 lety +7

      @@B.D.E. - We need public executions of whoever programmed these spam bots.

  • @deadartist8827
    @deadartist8827 Před 3 lety +454

    In my life there has been a cycle.
    1. I meet a pretty girl because of my art.
    2. Girl breaks my heart.
    3. I create art about it and feel better.
    4. I meet a new girl because of my art..

    • @jocithaljane7344
      @jocithaljane7344 Před 3 lety +1

      Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him

    • @jocithaljane7344
      @jocithaljane7344 Před 3 lety

      Text him on WhatsApp

    • @alextaylor9746
      @alextaylor9746 Před 3 lety +2

      Did u draw Ur profile picture cos it's really cool. I wanna see more

    • @JTu8925
      @JTu8925 Před 3 lety +3

      The curse of the artist lol

    • @islabee94
      @islabee94 Před 3 lety +8

      @@jocithaljane7344 stfu vulture bot

  • @stevenschneider2455
    @stevenschneider2455 Před 3 lety +16

    Wow, my ex is an illusion, and my unwillingness to let go is not about her, but the things she came to represent in my self. I see now I was viewing her as the source of my stability and self-worth.
    I don’t want her back - what I really need is to find that stability and self-worth within myself.
    Profound, thank you.

  • @BinaryTechnique
    @BinaryTechnique Před 4 lety +1982

    Bro you saved my life, I was sick af, can't eat, can't sleep, she left me devastated brother. This helped me let go a little, please God guide me through this pain :(

    • @BinaryTechnique
      @BinaryTechnique Před 4 lety +27

      @@K-Sober thanks dude, appreciate the support

    • @fredericksharon6908
      @fredericksharon6908 Před 3 lety +32

      4 months later hope u r a little better..

    • @augustmclaren9
      @augustmclaren9 Před 3 lety +77

      You'll get over her. She lost a gem. Remember that.

    • @Dom_2444
      @Dom_2444 Před 3 lety +12

      How are you doing now?

    • @deepg7084
      @deepg7084 Před 3 lety +118

      Went through the same thing brother. She cheated on me with a "friend" of mine. Had this feeling like I wanted to throw up all the time. I started working out regularly, reconnected with old friends that you lose track of when you're in a relationship, went skydiving by myself, got my bike license, just started crossing off things on my bucket list. Gradually over time you'll think about her a lot less and be back to yourself. Hope you're doing well now my friend.

  • @xBlackStormBR
    @xBlackStormBR Před 4 lety +4556

    This dude got over Katy Perry. My job now seems easier

    • @ronaldinhogaucho5460
      @ronaldinhogaucho5460 Před 4 lety +63

      Katy Perry on that turquoise dress! Yummy I still think about her on that day lol

    • @MilicaJedrilica
      @MilicaJedrilica Před 4 lety +315

      That couldn’t have been hard because, apparently, he walked out on that relationship.

    • @joshlink2129
      @joshlink2129 Před 4 lety +6

      No shit lol

    • @LAFooFrmLA
      @LAFooFrmLA Před 4 lety +82

      She's not hot

    • @jootai
      @jootai Před 4 lety +41

      Is math related to science.. Yea that helps

  • @Autonova
    @Autonova Před 3 lety +24

    I got my heart ripped out by an emotional manipulator, it was the darkest thing I ever experienced, I got depressed and lost weight. I'm glad it happened though, now I'm perfectly happy in myself and I never place any undue faith in another person. I ended up marrying a wonderful woman and I'm happy. If you're going through a breakup, remember time is truly a healer.

  • @foreverred105
    @foreverred105 Před 2 lety +33

    I keep watching this when I want to reach out to my ex. It helps massively especially the last statement Russell says.

  • @Cosmic_Cleanse
    @Cosmic_Cleanse Před 4 lety +614

    The moment I stopped checking her social media profiles is the moment I took the first step towards moving on with my life.

    • @cesarortiz2081
      @cesarortiz2081 Před 4 lety +43

      That’s what I’m having the hardest time with, I checked it yesterday, and seeing her look happy, posting pics for some reason made me upset. I need to stop

    • @michelleeggers6871
      @michelleeggers6871 Před 4 lety +74

      Just remember nobody posts their bad pics or their bad days....
      Sometimes people post more after a break up just to spite the ex.

    • @maul8384
      @maul8384 Před 3 lety

      Your 12

    • @Cosmic_Cleanse
      @Cosmic_Cleanse Před 3 lety

      @@maul8384 you're heartbroken. hang in there it gets better trust me.

    • @Cosmic_Cleanse
      @Cosmic_Cleanse Před 3 lety +5

      @Daniel Thomson Good! You do not need to see all that bs, trust me. The next step is to get on semen retention. It will change how you view life, and this girl. Semen retention will also change her perception of you as you will become a better version of yourself. Gotta be honest as someone who has gone through a bad breakup...it’s gonna be tough, but you got this! It’s time to take back the power you have given to her!

  • @thatgirlfiggy
    @thatgirlfiggy Před 4 lety +3614

    "Your Ex is an Illusion" 👌🏽

    • @pseudonayme7717
      @pseudonayme7717 Před 4 lety +18

      I'm thinking he's single again 😄

    • @SherioCheers
      @SherioCheers Před 4 lety +164

      so true, and they become more of an illusion the more often you think of them and go over things in your own mind. Eventually what you remember is a complete fabrication from what really was.

    • @robotsongs
      @robotsongs Před 4 lety +115

      I'm going through a really painful divorce right now and it was immensely beneficial to realize that I wasn't mourning my soon-to-be ex-wife. Instead, I was mourning a fantasy of what she was, and the reality is that she was never that person and was constantly miserable and unhappy. In essence, I was mourning a fantasy.
      I find myself benefiting from the divorcing of her as an idea, and that mindset can be so, so great. I hope others can benefit from this as well! The sooner we do, the sooner we can heal.

    • @PS-qn4oz
      @PS-qn4oz Před 4 lety +6

      Not when he comes back.

    • @SherioCheers
      @SherioCheers Před 4 lety +17

      @DARPA TELEKINETIC lay of the drugs, This stopped being cool when you were 16.

  • @Denizen36
    @Denizen36 Před rokem +26

    I left my ex a year ago and still obsess over here reminiscing on our good times and what could have been had I stayed with her. I didn’t regret it until about 8 months later and only really started missing her then despite her trying to come back to me for the next 2 months after the break up I remember I still turned her down. Reading this you’d think, maybe I forgot how toxic it was while with her now I can only remember the good times?

    • @user-xu4xj2cd2j
      @user-xu4xj2cd2j Před 10 měsíci

      You shouldn't have dumped her then idiot, don't get people like you, communicate and work things out rather than walking away, you didn't care about the pain you caused her

  • @blehbleheh
    @blehbleheh Před 3 lety +40

    When you can't stop thinking about your ex, you're essentially letting someone, your ex, own and define you. There is a Batman without the Joker, but there is no Joker without Batman.
    You essentially become the villain in your own story.

    • @stephenmichel117
      @stephenmichel117 Před 3 lety

      Hello do you need help on how to get your ex lover back or restore someone you truly love!!

    • @stephenmichel117
      @stephenmichel117 Před 3 lety

      I can recommend
      you to a love Doctor
      who helped me restore
      my ex husband back to me after 6 years of separation.

    • @stephenmichel117
      @stephenmichel117 Před 3 lety

      The love doctor can also
      help you get your ex
      back just as the love Doctor,
      helped me restore my husband back.

  • @blimblamkaboom6913
    @blimblamkaboom6913 Před 4 lety +430

    Comfort... we miss comfort. Most wont admit it but it's almost always comfort that prevents us from letting go and moving on.

    • @nataliewilliams9741
      @nataliewilliams9741 Před 4 lety +19

      And its opposite, the discomfort of the unknown . . . I'm not sure it's ALWAYS comfort, but it probably is a lot of the time.

    • @timotot123
      @timotot123 Před 4 lety +33

      Very much so. It's more difficult if it was a relationship where you both shared good times through most of the relationship, so when that all ends and even it's been a long time since you've communicated with eachother, you still have that desire to make contact. Unfortunately it's more than likely to make yourself feel better, and even if you have a good response at the beginning, soon enough it will be the same issues that ended the relationship in the first place that will resurface

    • @Research0digo
      @Research0digo Před 4 lety +3

      amen!

    • @panameraboomin7925
      @panameraboomin7925 Před 4 lety +2

      Amen brother

    • @ellalarkin1016
      @ellalarkin1016 Před 4 lety +26

      BlimBlam Kaboom, I think it's fear that prevents some people from letting go. Fear of being without that person. Fear of starting over, alone. Fear of the unknown. Fear of having to let someone new into our lives somewhere down the line. Fear of what will everyone else think. Fear that they might never meet anyone better. Fear they might never again meet ANYONE. etc, etc.

  • @danidee6420
    @danidee6420 Před 4 lety +716

    All relationships, in hindsight, have taught you something about yourself. Love your insight.

  • @adrianfry8059
    @adrianfry8059 Před 3 lety +25

    I still can't get over the time, commitment and honesty invested (together nearly 8 years). I was ready for forever. He didn't like my truth and never told his. It's the hardest thing coming back from that "forever" decision. He filled up so much of my heart and I trusted him.

    • @adrianfry8059
      @adrianfry8059 Před 3 lety +1

      But you're right even so

    • @franz95223
      @franz95223 Před rokem +1

      The video is not giving advice to homosexuals who have different needs

    • @caz5001
      @caz5001 Před rokem +1

      Lol. You're obviously a troll. 🤣Funny though!

  • @mojonaw3211
    @mojonaw3211 Před 3 lety +38

    "THE love of your life simply became A love of your life"

    • @cleocruz9688
      @cleocruz9688 Před 2 lety

      ooh that's so beautiful to think about

  • @hide_and_go_sikh
    @hide_and_go_sikh Před 4 lety +1491

    After my wife and I separated and I came to the realization and acceptance that she no longer loved me I had several days of severe emotional distress and even a few hours a delusional vertigo and then a few weeks of sever depression and now I'm kind of in a state of emotional numbness but I look at all this as a part of the grieving process of the death of a relationship. But I look forward to becoming a person who is excited about life again and its potential.

    • @hide_and_go_sikh
      @hide_and_go_sikh Před 4 lety +40

      @@jasonwitt2387 thanks brother, the kindness of strangers always has positive effect on others.

    • @28copland
      @28copland Před 4 lety +7

      Wish u luck mate

    • @unwisemonkey2945
      @unwisemonkey2945 Před 4 lety +20

      Hey Mark, I have just been through the same thing at the start of the year and when I was describing the way I felt to my family/friends I used the exact same terminology that you have as grieving the death of my relationship and looking back I can also pin point the stages I was at during different times (shock, denial, anger etc etc). Its fair to say that what happened nearly 'ended' me and has taken me a while to get to 'acceptance'. I will say that if you are going through it still the journey isnt always a straight line (as im sure you know). Right now I have just come out of another very short 'relationship' which ended badly and while it sucks I am at least finding myself thinking about this person rather than my (ex) wife. Everyone deals with this stuff differently you just gotta keep moving. Find something new to focus on and try to surround yourself with good people. Just remember you are not alone.

    • @hide_and_go_sikh
      @hide_and_go_sikh Před 4 lety +4

      @@unwisemonkey2945 thanks I hope things work out good for you to.

    • @ChaseTheLadiesMan
      @ChaseTheLadiesMan Před 3 lety +4

      Wow, I'm sorry mate, that sounds rough. Sounds like you've got your mind to the future, wishing you the best buddy!

  • @samanthapetersen7058
    @samanthapetersen7058 Před 4 lety +1381

    I’ve never once talked to my ex again after I moved out and I’ve never once tried to look at his insta after we broke up. It only will make you feel worse! Don’t be toxic to yourself. Move on, and work on yourself! We spent 6 years together and learned a lot. Use it to better yourself for yourself and be prepared to have an even better relationship after! ❤️❤️

    • @skat3r430
      @skat3r430 Před 4 lety +9

      Samantha Petersen thats amazing!

    • @RizwanKhan_99
      @RizwanKhan_99 Před 4 lety +45

      Easier said than done!

    • @josevilla676
      @josevilla676 Před 4 lety +2

      You're cute af. Well said btw.

    • @siggysou8832
      @siggysou8832 Před 4 lety +46

      why are you watching this video then😆

    • @oftenlucid
      @oftenlucid Před 4 lety +8

      @@siggysou8832: Maybe because we can always be bettering ourselves? It doesn't matter if we fall. . . It's how we get up that matters.

  • @skeliskull
    @skeliskull Před 3 lety +40

    I noticed that a lot of what I miss about old relationships has sort of melded with a general nostalgia for a different time in my life. If I were with that person again would I be happy? Probably not. It's just nostalgia

    • @AndreaGomez-nv4dq
      @AndreaGomez-nv4dq Před 3 lety

      Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞

    • @AndreaGomez-nv4dq
      @AndreaGomez-nv4dq Před 3 lety

      What sApp him

    • @AndreaGomez-nv4dq
      @AndreaGomez-nv4dq Před 3 lety

      +2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾

    • @nattyboyo2404
      @nattyboyo2404 Před 2 lety +6

      Yeah, for me a lot of the good feelings and nostalgia I experience I attribute more to the time in general ie my youth; lamenting being younger with less problems. The ex just happened to be around to share those times. Could have been anyone 😂

    • @SuperHperTube
      @SuperHperTube Před 2 lety +1

      Yeah well said. You don't just miss your girlfriend. You miss the time and how things where in that time with your girlfriend.

  • @guybartlett9587
    @guybartlett9587 Před 3 lety +4

    A lot of a broken heart is a broken ego.

  • @romainschoenenberger6428
    @romainschoenenberger6428 Před 4 lety +635

    My wife. of 40 years passed away 15 years ago, I wish I had seen. this then. Belated thanks.

    • @richardlitwin4046
      @richardlitwin4046 Před 4 lety +36

      God bless you Mr Schoenenberger. May he allow you to cherish the memories and to move on with gratitude for the gift you were given, and to be open to any further gifts which the Giver would give you.

    • @TheBlanco951
      @TheBlanco951 Před 4 lety +25

      I am sorry for your loss. She must've been really special and meaningful in your life. You sir are blessed.

    • @TheBlanco951
      @TheBlanco951 Před 4 lety +4

      I am sorry for your loss. She must've been really special and meaningful in your life. You sir are blessed.

    • @patriciabennett1819
      @patriciabennett1819 Před 4 lety +12

      Romain Schoenenberger My condolences on the loss of your wife. It is both challenging and daunting. I myself am a widow of eleven years after being married for thirty eight wonderful years. I honour the memory of my wonderful husband and value the life I was fortunate to have had. Special memories are to hold close to are hearts. Gratitude for having had a very special person in our lives. I wish you the very best.Greetings from England!!!Take care and my very good wishes to you.

    • @SF-op5ix
      @SF-op5ix Před 4 lety +5

      God bless u man. Keep kickin

  • @adrienneharrington617
    @adrienneharrington617 Před 4 lety +1133

    Russell you are the big brother I never knew I needed.

  • @moun7ainc0w
    @moun7ainc0w Před 2 lety +4

    "Your Ex is an illusion"
    That's a scary thought. It's been almost a year and it still feels like yesterday when she left...

  • @Astafar13
    @Astafar13 Před 3 lety +4

    Russell your use of language to convey a complex idea so fluidly is amazing. It's plain to see that you've poured over this yourself and gleaned wisdom from other sources, which is admirable, and this distillation opened my eyes to several aspects of my own self/experience. Thank you for your insight and sharing this with us.

  • @mogznwaz
    @mogznwaz Před 3 lety +1090

    It's called 'emotional attachment' my friend. When your mum dies do you 'get over it'? No. You carry them with you, always. Doesn't mean you don't accept they're gone but you can't remove them from your story, your memories, your self. The problems come when you don't accept they're not in your life anymore and there's nothing you can do to bring them back. It is actually better to think of a break up as like a death. Grieve. Accept. Move on. Remember with fondness.

  • @Witchofthewoods.
    @Witchofthewoods. Před 4 lety +126

    My husband passed away from a tragic car wreck last year and he was my soulmate. He was only 35. Now I feel I'll never find another...so I'm accepting it and single. But I'm heartbroken 💔

    • @laure400
      @laure400 Před 4 lety +14

      Nurse Terra I’m so sorry for your loss, sending prayers and love

    • @borty2141
      @borty2141 Před 3 lety +5

      Sorry for your loss

    • @rossbarr-scragg4076
      @rossbarr-scragg4076 Před 3 lety +3

      I hope you're feeling strong again after some times has passed.

    • @Cognitoman
      @Cognitoman Před 3 lety +3

      Sorry

    • @Kramos_Skate
      @Kramos_Skate Před 3 lety +3

      I wish you the best. Really sorry for your loss.

  • @rachelh5780
    @rachelh5780 Před 3 lety +11

    This is so amazing. I absolutely love Russell Brand at the moment (and always) and all of the videos because it’s really helping me during this time understanding how to deal with life. Such an incredible inspiration and life coach

  • @ezmeyawin9118
    @ezmeyawin9118 Před 3 lety +145

    I wasn’t able to let go of the idea of love. I was holding onto that. This whole time I was just never accepting the fact that they just don’t love you the same way you loved them.

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      What sApp him

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      +2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾

    • @tinachoke5978
      @tinachoke5978 Před 3 lety

      Hello lovely I will introduce you to the same Relationship restorer who attracted my ex back to me within 72 hours.. He can also help you to reunite back with your ex real quick.

    • @tinachoke5978
      @tinachoke5978 Před 3 lety

      What'''sapp him

  • @chrisdee7931
    @chrisdee7931 Před 4 lety +329

    "what are you allowing your ex to be symbolic of?" - (then work on being that for yourself.)

    • @shcap3
      @shcap3 Před 4 lety +7

      So much of this.

    • @cigh7445
      @cigh7445 Před 4 lety +15

      My hand

    • @Alexlamb442
      @Alexlamb442 Před 4 lety +5

      That quote can serve a person their whole life time

    • @drewmiller9640
      @drewmiller9640 Před 3 lety +1

      Crom I just finished a dragged out two month long breakup process with my girlfriend of 4 years, and it was a relationship that really took a toll on my self esteem and sense of self worth. When I read “It’s ok to love yourself and to treat yourself like you treat a best friend” I burst into tears as I’m so far from that, but know it’s exactly what I need to do. Your words made me hurt but they also helped hit home what I need to be focusing on.

    • @openheart4606
      @openheart4606 Před 3 lety

      💎

  • @danstabs5142
    @danstabs5142 Před 4 lety +189

    I always find myself in a sort of hypnotic state when I listen to Russell. Such a well spoken bloke

    • @marknorris2264
      @marknorris2264 Před 4 lety +4

      He's kind of like a human spliff😂

    • @Julia-LArt
      @Julia-LArt Před 4 lety +1

      I almost fell asleep ☺️

    • @danielfinch362
      @danielfinch362 Před 4 lety +1

      I recon had he lived over 2000 years ago he would have been a druid.

    • @DRKJFOSTER
      @DRKJFOSTER Před 4 lety

      Yes, me too! I consider it a form of meditation 😃

    • @prometheus5700
      @prometheus5700 Před 4 lety

      and dreamy

  • @redpeng1340
    @redpeng1340 Před 3 lety +3

    Solid advice - I am going thru a pretty tough break up, one that I have tried to end countless times before and always remade the mistakes Russell was pointing out in the past. This time it is cleaner, less pain, less second guessing and there is no way for her to hurt me or mess my head up. I am accepting what it was, and what it was not, and I what I thought I needed in her.

  • @nathanh7106
    @nathanh7106 Před 3 lety +26

    This video has literally helped me so much. I had a break up over a month ago, and it was hard at first but now I’m starting to realize moving forward is necessary and that the past with her is an illusion, it was non sense and unnecessary. I was use to a pattern in that relationship. A pattern that was the same each day. Watching the movies and shows together at night, listening to the same music, etc...but now that pattern has been broken, if you are feeling the same way, you aren’t alone and you are normal. Engage in conversations with friends that will lift up your spirits or even find a place to volunteer and with those like minded individuals you will get a sense of confidence and I promise it will all work out. Do not try and get over your ex by immediately trying to go out with someone, you’ll only repeat the same actions and you aren’t quite healed. You must be emotionally independent first before attempting to date anyone.
    I feel better! Especially watching a couple of brands videos. Well done sir.

    • @gregorystephen6965
      @gregorystephen6965 Před 3 lety

      I can recommend you to Dr.frank who is a relationship counselor who helped me restore back my relationship and heal my marriage back permanently after 3years of separation

    • @gregorystephen6965
      @gregorystephen6965 Před 3 lety

      + 2 3 4 7 0 4 4 5 0 9 7 9 2!!

    • @gregorystephen6965
      @gregorystephen6965 Před 3 lety

      Whtsaap him**

    • @princessshingleyt1.2mviews61
      @princessshingleyt1.2mviews61 Před 3 lety

      Don't worry anymore I will Introduce you to the same powerful relationship restorer who helped me got back my ex within 48 hours. He can help you to reunite back with your ex real quick and put a smile back into your face again.

    • @princessshingleyt1.2mviews61
      @princessshingleyt1.2mviews61 Před 3 lety

      What sapp him

  • @3dwardcullen69
    @3dwardcullen69 Před 4 lety +267

    It took me 2 years to completely get over one of my exes. It was one of the most painful experiences, but I'm glad I went through it, because I learned a lot about myself and how I needed to change.

    • @antihero76
      @antihero76 Před 4 lety +23

      100 hundred percent it’s been a year for me and the tough thing is knowing you were wrong

    • @Un1234l
      @Un1234l Před 4 lety +6

      @Jamie Morgan
      You would think. She got pregnant with someone else in that time. Fuck.

    • @derekthompson9317
      @derekthompson9317 Před 4 lety +14

      It taken me nearly three years still think about her now and then . I don't know why. But watching this video understand more now it just because I unhappy with who I am. I am my mind I thinking if I was back with my ex my life would be perfect and my issues would been gone. That just a fansty. You need to be happy with who you are inside that when you can move on. Like he says no one wants to be with a person who dose not like themselves. People want to be around positive people

    • @pbufh
      @pbufh Před 4 lety +1

      @@derekthompson9317 hi
      That's pathetic.

    • @derekthompson9317
      @derekthompson9317 Před 4 lety +4

      @@Un1234l my ex moved in with a guy one month after married him a year later apparently to her she did not cheat lol

  • @mykylc
    @mykylc Před 4 lety +2270

    Over 7 billion people on the earth and people always find "the one" in their city. LOL.

    • @chaigamingtalks
      @chaigamingtalks Před 4 lety +19

      Lmao

    • @smackatoo
      @smackatoo Před 4 lety +157

      Baaahahahah exactly exactly EXACTLY. There is no such thing as the one except you. I think I see the one every 15 mins in LA and finally get it. Now, I appreciate the visual beauty but can let them go in a flash. And sure enough, another “the one” pops up on the next block. Understand this and you will be free.

    • @sher5206
      @sher5206 Před 4 lety +4

      @Sam Ochin you must live in Vancouver

    • @joec1212
      @joec1212 Před 4 lety +36

      No offense, but finding a 'good match' is not so easy. Let's say you're a Christian. Cut down the 3.5 billion to way less. Then if you're fit, cut that number way down if you want a fit significant other. Then let's say you like tall men, or women with long dark hair. Cut that down again. When people say there is 7 billion people its fools gold. That being said. If someone wants to be in your life they will be. Move on.

    • @Carlosgarciaa793
      @Carlosgarciaa793 Před 4 lety

      😂😂😂

  • @almoskosz7848
    @almoskosz7848 Před rokem +6

    Russel Brand is the only person on this platform I can take seriously when he’s talking about breakups, man must’ve been through it real well

  • @maxlissa2206
    @maxlissa2206 Před 2 lety +2

    You are so kind in sharing these insights. Thank you so much. I hope you and your family, friends, and loved ones are well. 😊🙏🏻💜

  • @evespower
    @evespower Před 4 lety +741

    "holding on is suffocation, letting go is freedom"
    -Deepak Chorpa

  • @esfitnesspro2455
    @esfitnesspro2455 Před 3 lety +358

    The problem is being in love with a future you'd imagined you were going to have with that person... Especially especially if that person was extremely attractive (to you)... If they checked every single box. You were happy to have found that person and felt very lucky to have found them. It feels like you'll never find another person like that again.. especially when you get older. Biggest trigger, the only trigger actually, for me to crave opiates again. It feels like withdrawal when a relationship ends unexpectedly.

    • @MiauxCatterie
      @MiauxCatterie Před 3 lety +36

      yes. it wasn't actually what he offered me in the real world that i craved. it was what i thought, what i hoped, what i pictured he could offer me if he let himself be vulnerable to me. and who knows. maybe that's true. but maybe he wasn't vulnerable to me because i wasn't the right person for him to be vulnerable to. maybe if he was vulnerable to me then we would have had a whole new batch of issues crop up. i know the traits i saw in the "dream version" of the relationship.. those are what i want in a true partnership. those are what excited me. the real person just offered me pain. i'm not sure how to find those things "within myself" because they're ultimately a reflection of a true and exciting connection to another person- finding someone outside of myself who shares these interests. i can already share them with me. it's that additional connection i want. perhaps i need to find people who share those interests and befriend them, instead of hoping to find them within a partnership. maybe that's how to do it.
      stay strong friend, those opiates don't hold anything you need. honestly, i've been smoking weed again the last few nights to handle some pain and it's already starting to make me a bit automatic like it always does.. i think it's time to put it away and handle the pain the right way. the weed is just going to keep numbing me and set me back in all the other areas i've been growing stronger in. and like a bad ex, i don't need that in my life.
      i hope saying this doesn't trigger anyone who is in a recovery situation that might come across my comment.

    • @rileybuchko2012
      @rileybuchko2012 Před 3 lety +6

      @@MiauxCatterie oh my god you just explained my entire life

    • @joecheano758
      @joecheano758 Před 3 lety +2

      Ow you are so wright opiate's are a good treatment if your suicidal but just got a realize thay are human and are never as perfect as you thought thay were

    • @jacobbailey5498
      @jacobbailey5498 Před 3 lety +5

      exaaaaact same position here. how are you now?

    • @supermushroom3175
      @supermushroom3175 Před 2 lety

      You hit it on the nail and that's exactly how I feel.

  • @gazzae1659
    @gazzae1659 Před 2 lety +16

    It's scary how over the course of a relationship you can almost sort of... lose yourself. But you don't realise until it's over. You can completely forget how to love yourself, enjoy life, and lose the meaning and purpose in other aspects of your life whilst you think your life is "complete" with the other person in it. Leaving you completely empty now they're not there. Be mindful not to lose touch with yourself and your own reality.
    I believe the right person will join you on your journey, not become the destination

    • @rabiujibril1077
      @rabiujibril1077 Před 2 lety

      Hi, I recommend you to Dr Steve, he can help you attract someone you love and want in your life, he helped me Attract my specific person and we are enjoying our relationship now. I will advise you seek his help thanks.

    • @rabiujibril1077
      @rabiujibril1077 Před 2 lety

      Send him a message
      on Whatsapp

    • @rabiujibril1077
      @rabiujibril1077 Před 2 lety

      +2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾

    • @rabiujibril1077
      @rabiujibril1077 Před 2 lety

      +2347030894892...

    • @paul1010
      @paul1010 Před rokem

      Well said! 🙌

  • @latinpa4ny
    @latinpa4ny Před 3 lety +4

    Russell you are the best! You are so charismatic, smart, true, funny and spiritual. This is exactly how i felt about my ex. Thank you

  • @DaleBerry
    @DaleBerry Před 4 lety +338

    Damn... this was so helpful. Thank you

  • @flowerlullaby
    @flowerlullaby Před 3 lety +631

    You wouldn't re-read the same book expecting a different ending, why go back to an ex?

    • @user-gm4lo8hu4i
      @user-gm4lo8hu4i Před 3 lety +51

      Loneliness and desperation.

    • @brandenlucerovlogs
      @brandenlucerovlogs Před 3 lety +69

      to reconcile and start a new chapter. your old relationship is dead. a break up is always in one or two ways: 1) to let go and move on and redefine yourself. or 2) reconcile and start anew.

    • @dinkydoo9026
      @dinkydoo9026 Před 3 lety +10

      Children

    • @bigneiltoo
      @bigneiltoo Před 3 lety +38

      @@brandenlucerovlogs - Sometimes two people miss each other and get back together and it's better. That doesn't usually happen but a lot of doom and gloom people go with this "never talk to your ex" and I disagree. They were probably one of the best matches you ever met, hence you were with them the longest. Only if both people miss the other can it work again. However, when it ends AGAIN, then you know it's really over.

    • @brandenlucerovlogs
      @brandenlucerovlogs Před 3 lety +7

      @@bigneiltoo Until you start learning about narcissism. Then holy shit, your entire view on relationships, the no contact rule, everything else these coaches tell you? it turns you into a psychiatrist. Makes those red flags shine up even more.

  • @tanujsingh533
    @tanujsingh533 Před 3 lety +19

    The moment he says, "Your ex is an illusion!" that hit me hard

    • @camilla4962
      @camilla4962 Před 3 lety

      Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him

    • @camilla4962
      @camilla4962 Před 3 lety

      Text him on whatsapp

    • @camilla4962
      @camilla4962 Před 3 lety

      +2347044509792🙏

  • @estrangeiros-sobvivendo7733

    I've been following you for 8 years and you've helped me to learn English, Life and so much more thanks for everything you have done for me love you Russell

  • @klickingkayasmr7585
    @klickingkayasmr7585 Před 4 lety +65

    Unfortunately, if they hurt you, the pain keeps you attached, even if you don’t want them ever again....🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @slacktaccer
      @slacktaccer Před 4 lety +1

      So you can't let them go, because they hurt you? That doesn't seem quite logical, i would find it easier.

    • @StoleBearer
      @StoleBearer Před 4 lety +1

      Søren women are emotional beings. Men are logical.

    • @remon563
      @remon563 Před 4 lety +1

      @@StoleBearer nah it depends on the person.

  • @vambo13257
    @vambo13257 Před 4 lety +577

    Once someone walks away from you, they are literally dead to you! Never look back, you will always be 2nd best and who wants that?

    • @crystalbethseizetheday8669
      @crystalbethseizetheday8669 Před 4 lety +10

      vambo13257 literally dead would mean they actually passed away

    • @vambo13257
      @vambo13257 Před 4 lety +3

      @@crystalbethseizetheday8669 I said literally dead to YOU, do you understand?

    • @vambo13257
      @vambo13257 Před 4 lety

      @Crom You will learn

    • @crystalbethseizetheday8669
      @crystalbethseizetheday8669 Před 4 lety +7

      vambo13257 Yes. That doesn’t change the meaning of the word literally. That person is not literally dead to them, as it would involve them actually being dead. Not sure why you’re mad at me, take it up with the dictionary I guess!

    • @crystalbethseizetheday8669
      @crystalbethseizetheday8669 Před 4 lety +5

      Crom Aren’t we so lucky to learn from this superior being 😂 so much for healthy discussion eh!

  • @meganwright3004
    @meganwright3004 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you for not having commercials. You're like the only one.

  • @bigseether
    @bigseether Před 11 měsíci +4

    Bro this video hit home exactly when I needed it to-the universe sent me to this video and I can only say a simple thank you but please know how perfectly worded this was and how helpful it is. Thank you!

  • @crownhic6827
    @crownhic6827 Před 4 lety +220

    I think a lot of people like the feeling of emotional pain. They're addicted to the feeling that they have had their whole life and they are not willing to change.

    • @corsicanlulu
      @corsicanlulu Před 4 lety +25

      they identify w/ the pain, it becomes them and they dont know who they would be w/out it if it disappeared

    • @JohnBradydoesstuff
      @JohnBradydoesstuff Před 4 lety +14

      You are exactly correct!! So many of us become addicted to that feeling of want, of loss. You nailed it.

    • @teraefrontoneperino7021
      @teraefrontoneperino7021 Před 4 lety +5

      So, wouldnt that be the feeling of self loathing?

    • @leftfield5914
      @leftfield5914 Před 4 lety +2

      Mike Tyson said something like that
      People are content in their own misery

    • @sunshinyday823
      @sunshinyday823 Před 4 lety +1

      Therapy calls 🙄

  • @iankavanagh1385
    @iankavanagh1385 Před 4 lety +112

    The primary relationship we have to have with someone is ourselves...are we listening people??

  • @bartzeegers3663
    @bartzeegers3663 Před 3 lety +3

    It's true , it comes down to love yourself first.. a breakup is hard and cold.. it makes u stronger in the end.

  • @christianott2791
    @christianott2791 Před 2 lety +2

    Russel Brand has become the most helpful and honest guy out there and his view of things help a lot. Every i'm overwhelmed with emotions i listen to his advice and it keeps bringing me back to the present moment. I'm thankful he is here

    • @norblework6785
      @norblework6785 Před 2 lety

      My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship/ get ex back or a specific person
      Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you

  • @omega_sauce
    @omega_sauce Před 4 lety +132

    All relationships are a learning experience. You have to examine yourself.

    • @charichari
      @charichari Před 4 lety +1

      Agreed. I heard this line from a show that "people don't really belong to each other. We choose to be with a particular person every day."

  • @Koppisch1
    @Koppisch1 Před 4 lety +57

    I think for me personally I relied on my ex for so much emotional gratification that I felt lost without her. Exactly what he said to cultivate within really helps validate what I was missing in myself even prior to this relationship. Being happy alone only allows you to bring in more happiness as long as your judgment is there and you dont get lost on the way. Great stuff Russell thanks.

    • @RahulMehta1994
      @RahulMehta1994 Před 4 lety +1

      I completely agree. I think it’s the same for a lot of people, they just aren’t aware of it mostly because they’re not bothered to introspect. Good luck!

    • @b3at2
      @b3at2 Před 4 lety +4

      You have to work on being the best you...You wont find true happiness in other people/women. Remember this... women dont care about our struggles.. they wait at the finish line and fuck the winners. once you realize that, you can work on being the best winner you can possibly be.

    • @Research0digo
      @Research0digo Před 4 lety

      But getting lost on the way (or during) is what makes being madly in love so delicious, exhilarating.

  • @willfowler1027
    @willfowler1027 Před rokem +2

    Three years later and I’m just now seeing this. I’m still so in love with her and she deserves none of my thoughts or time. Hurts to hear, but thank you

  • @stevewestsussex4063
    @stevewestsussex4063 Před 3 lety +1

    Amazing insightful video’s Russell- keep effing going 💪🏼

  • @robotraptor3369
    @robotraptor3369 Před 4 lety +53

    Very true. Heartbreak is awful. It's crippling.
    The emotion and thoughts are overwhelming.
    your heart is your strength, your confidence, your spirit, your happiness. It's everything that makes you strong and complete.
    When you start to fall in love, you give that person your heart,
    When they leave, your heart leaves with them.
    You become lost, confused, empty and broken.
    The only way to truly heal from a break up is to become whole again.
    You can take all those things back from your ex, your strength, your confidence, your spirit and your happiness.
    Your heart doesn't belong to them, it never did.
    It never will.

    • @johnburke6332
      @johnburke6332 Před 3 lety +1

      I need more of that kinda talk. You're my boy, Blue!

    • @justynak7644
      @justynak7644 Před 2 lety

      how do i take it back exactly?

  • @videosonline2166
    @videosonline2166 Před 4 lety +305

    The lens of nostalgia is colored with beauty.

  • @FollowLOVE444
    @FollowLOVE444 Před rokem +2

    Hoping everyone heals their broken hearts, and we all find a way to move forward unflinchingly.

  • @mandywilloughby9991
    @mandywilloughby9991 Před 3 lety +2

    I adore you Russell Brand. Love you sharing your experiences, wisdom and in sight .. so helpful for me and my journey as of late .❤️

  • @hide_and_go_sikh
    @hide_and_go_sikh Před 4 lety +84

    My ex-partner has become a symbol of narcissistic, financial and physical abuse.

    • @Nessa___
      @Nessa___ Před 3 lety +1

      Please start following some narcissistic survival channels if you haven’t already!

    • @hide_and_go_sikh
      @hide_and_go_sikh Před 3 lety +1

      @@Nessa___ I have. Don't worship me or my book for I know not what I do. Am I the Lord thy God or has another God come before me?

  • @pam164
    @pam164 Před 4 lety +678

    Years ago before internet 1990s! you went your seperate ways and that was that! but now you can check on facebook etc its not good.

    • @mrswolf3084
      @mrswolf3084 Před 4 lety +20

      Not true, I used to get midnight phone calls and silent phone calls on the landline and basically calling it all the time lol! don't get me started on the answerphone!

    • @pam164
      @pam164 Před 4 lety +24

      @@mrswolf3084 Yes i had to change my no twice with my ex husband hounding me! what i meant was if you could not check on an ex see what they were doing, who they were seeing etc like facebook.

    • @Nicole-ww4lg
      @Nicole-ww4lg Před 4 lety +26

      that's why i'm glad i never made a facebook profile...i have problems with rumination as it is thanks to my depression

    • @bklyncowboy2925
      @bklyncowboy2925 Před 4 lety +7

      @@pam164 out of sight, out of mind even on fakebook etc. No looking back, at least for me. Thanks.

    • @raymondphillips7107
      @raymondphillips7107 Před 4 lety +20

      I agree. There's too many ways to keep attached now. Even if you don't want to. 🤦‍♂️

  • @perfectfalls
    @perfectfalls Před rokem

    Brilliantly said brother. It’s having that spiritual dimension, recognising the reality vs the fantasy of people, that really sets us free. 🙏🏽

  • @lilianoliveira5027
    @lilianoliveira5027 Před 3 lety

    That’s really well put and said! Thank you!

  • @calliehale5482
    @calliehale5482 Před 4 lety +83

    He's got a new kindness in his eyes.

    • @bh4560
      @bh4560 Před 3 lety +2

      So do you Callie..sooo dooo you! 😍👌👍

    • @miket.6293
      @miket.6293 Před 3 lety

      I used to not like him, hes a different guy.

    • @BLITZY261
      @BLITZY261 Před 2 lety

      It is called an awakening.

    • @gerdahenirich8733
      @gerdahenirich8733 Před 2 lety

      @@miket.6293 me too.. Happy for him and his new life..family..
      Makes alot of sense Mike...

  • @LyndseyMacPherson
    @LyndseyMacPherson Před 4 lety +48

    What a caring, considerate message. And spot-on.
    For me, after the relationship ended with the person I felt was 'the One', it was much like as if he had died. The sense of inexorable loss and subsequent mourning process was the same. Out of that, I came to see how potently he changed my life for the better. Even letting go, those tremendous things he contributed carried with me as I moved forward, a better person. But, my gosh, getting to this place was a long process, which principally involved delving into that "primary relationship with oneself". Thank you, Russell, for sharing such deep and responsible musings.

    • @hotsoda1850
      @hotsoda1850 Před 4 lety

      Lyndsey MacPherson readin your comment was like reading about myself...every word.

  • @kimvanthull764
    @kimvanthull764 Před 3 lety +1

    I watched a lot of people talk on this subject...but this made the most sense. Thanks Russel. Thank you

  • @gerogeshirk5524
    @gerogeshirk5524 Před 3 lety +4

    Great content Russell. This was a phenomenal perspective of self preservation. Because dealing with breakups myself were found to be devistating and destructive. Thank you brother

    • @lunasofia4468
      @lunasofia4468 Před 3 lety

      Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him

    • @lunasofia4468
      @lunasofia4468 Před 3 lety

      Text him on WhatsApp

    • @lunasofia4468
      @lunasofia4468 Před 3 lety

      +2347044509792🙏

  • @bicooo1
    @bicooo1 Před 4 lety +34

    Of all the break-up videos I've watched, I didn't expect the most touching one to be from Russel Brand. This legit made me cry

  • @stfranckmusic
    @stfranckmusic Před 4 lety +134

    This is possibly the hardest thing i've been working on and try to get over it... when it literally feels like the person you used to love has acrtually "died" with a part of you - never thought breakup could be such a mission to sort out in life and after 10 months it still a right struggle

    • @anastasiabeaverhausen.
      @anastasiabeaverhausen. Před 4 lety +5

      I know exactly how you feel. I am finally free after 10 months. He is back in my life, but only because I have realized I can not be with him as his girlfriend if he stays the way he is. I had to let go of the illusion of us in order to be able to truly move on.

    • @peaceandlove6670
      @peaceandlove6670 Před 4 lety +33

      St Franck it’s called grief. In my opinion, it takes just as long to get over an ex you truly loved and is still living as a loved one who has died. Heartbreak is a sickness like any other. I wish you happiness. Be kind to yourself.

    • @elizagoodytwoshoes8348
      @elizagoodytwoshoes8348 Před 4 lety +9

      The hardest things we work on end up being the moments in our life when we can choose to learn more about ourselves and how we respond and why we respond in the way we do. Where did we learn to love someone else more than ourselves? I should know I always stayed way to long and then would collapse into grief when it was over. I've since realised that a certain amount of grief is of course healthy we have hopes and dreams, expectations but then I've learnt to value life, value each day and every day I get an opportunity to be a better version of me whether I'm with someone or not, best wishes you can do this because your life IS worth it🙏

    • @silverbat5873
      @silverbat5873 Před 4 lety +16

      ... 15 years... sometimes you don't "get over it"... and I haven't been on social media at all for 3 years, so it's not that...they still haunt many of my dreams...

    • @karoma5805
      @karoma5805 Před 4 lety +15

      I'm 3.5 years feel like I'm Getting there annoyed at myself sometimes for taking so long to get over someone who was not respectful to me towards the end, but it's true now its a mirage and a comfort I've held on to to stop myself from meeting someone new and being hurt the same way. Needing to face my insecurities I see it brought up alot of where I had 'holes' in my old way of dealing with things, I guess he helped to point them out it's up to be to take care of them now. As the other person said.. But yeah it's mad how you grieve over someone that's still alive that shit is hard.

  • @goddesstaria8505
    @goddesstaria8505 Před 3 lety

    I'm so grateful for you videos you have been so healing

  • @beardreview
    @beardreview Před 3 lety +1

    I really liked this, with the past reparation to developing I feel you're one of the best person to give advice

  • @SLiew-ts7vv
    @SLiew-ts7vv Před 4 lety +164

    'Discover what it is that you have allowed your partner to become a symbol of'... blummin eck, thats one of the smartest and most astute things on relationships I've ever heard. Going to chew on that for a while.

    • @shashamarie4760
      @shashamarie4760 Před 4 lety

      Yeah, I keep letting that one soak in.
      Gonna sleep on that one.💜😊

    • @mars.9595
      @mars.9595 Před 4 lety

      can you please explain to me what does it mean?

    • @Angeck
      @Angeck Před 4 lety +8

      Mem AR
      It means that you need to find what they gave you that made you feel so complete and worthwhile, and start giving it to yourself.

    • @Dadaadad268
      @Dadaadad268 Před 4 lety +7

      I.e a handjob

    • @gaynordennehy2538
      @gaynordennehy2538 Před 4 lety

      S. Liew
      Totally agree with you ...one of the most profound statements I’ve ever heard on relationships . We are told we are already complete and yet spend our entire time trying to find the One that makes us feel that . Guess we get in touch with the Love we somehow deny ourselves and think it only possible via a significant other ...as Russell himself sort of acknowledges x

  • @hozonelayer4054
    @hozonelayer4054 Před 3 lety +104

    “If you have difficulty letting go of somebody you previously had a relationship with, you’ve allowed them to become an emblem of something you should be taking responsibility for yourself. Either your sense of fun, your sense of romance, your sense of pragmatism and responsibility…” WOW. So seen by this one statement. 😩This video was incredibly eye-opening, thank you!

    • @michellereeves9316
      @michellereeves9316 Před 3 lety

      There is a great man I’d like you to contact, he helped me restore my Ex back after 3years of separation, he can be of great help to you
      Text or call him on +2348120722241 or chat him up via WhatsApp Messenger
      He offers the best solution in fixing broken relationships🏵🏵🏵

    • @icebreaker9006
      @icebreaker9006 Před rokem

      TURN TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST BEFORE ITS TOO LATE, GIVE YOUR LIFE TO HIM AND START WALKING IN OBEDIENCE, WITHSTANDING FROM ALL SIN AND WICKEDNESS, JESUS SAID THE PATH TO HEAVEN IS HARD AND NARROW, AND FEW FIND IT. MATTHEW 7:13-14, HEBREWS 5:9, JOHN 14:15, MATTHEW 7:21-26, 1ST CORINTHIANS 6:9-10, JOHN 3:16-21, JOHN 10:7-8, MATTHEW 10:26, AND LUKE 13:5. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

  • @Euronymouscoast
    @Euronymouscoast Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you, maybe I’m still feeling a tinge of pain. But this perspective has helped take away the pain that felt unbearable.

    • @Euronymouscoast
      @Euronymouscoast Před 3 lety +2

      I felt borderline suicidal and I’m not kidding, this perspective changed my thoughts and feelings completely.

  • @sparkioauthor1475
    @sparkioauthor1475 Před 3 lety

    Incredibly helpful right now. Thank you x

  • @missk8teu
    @missk8teu Před 4 lety +135

    Stumbled upon this and because of this video, i went and deleted my ex's number and messages and stopped following his insta. Id been holding onto the thought of us being together in the future for years. 🤦‍♀️😳 I have decided to stop living in the past. Finally.

    • @elainesmith7416
      @elainesmith7416 Před 4 lety +3

      Kate U same! I just deleted my ex’s number 😊

    • @missk8teu
      @missk8teu Před 4 lety +6

      @@elainesmith7416 we are now living in the present! Feels so much better! I have felt such a weight lifted! 🥰

    • @28copland
      @28copland Před 4 lety +2

      Good luck

    • @schmitzconsultingcom
      @schmitzconsultingcom Před 3 lety +10

      If someone has an Instagram, ESPECIALLY a bloke, what more evidence do you need that you should avoid them like the plague to start with?

  • @shav12
    @shav12 Před 4 lety +131

    So many times in my 3 year relationship I acknowledged that I was miserable and did not envision a happy future with my ex. The thing is I was obsessed with her and she turned my entire life around for the best. It’s hard letting go of someone like that so I stayed until eventually she pulled the trigger on it. Don’t ever let go of your independent life for someone else because now this is extremely hard. Even though I logically knew we weren’t meant for each other I still wanted to stay

    • @mistrozi7
      @mistrozi7 Před 4 lety +8

      shav12 same here

    • @jamesrusso72
      @jamesrusso72 Před 4 lety +4

      focus on that bread first. better relationships will eventually come

    • @SSW2488
      @SSW2488 Před 4 lety

      same here bro

    • @shav12
      @shav12 Před 4 lety +1

      S S it gets so much better fortunately

    • @SSW2488
      @SSW2488 Před 4 lety

      shav12 i hope so man.. funny thing is i know i wasnt gonna marry her & we werent gonna last but stayed anyways cause she was there and she did make me happy on some days.. and maybe a part of me wanted to see where it went until she left me twice, her reason? Because she felt she was more invested in the relationship than me ..its been 10 days now with NO contact..i dont get why i miss her terribly though..

  • @saltysouthernmomma9354
    @saltysouthernmomma9354 Před 3 lety +1

    I got off of Facebook in 2012. I don't WANT to see what my ex is doing. I also saw how petty people are & so much narcissistic nonsense. "Look at me! Look at me!" I'm so glad I'm off social media. I have friends and family members who never look up from their phones. Look AROUND! Be out in nature! I'm perfectly happy not being connected to millions of people. As long as I'm connected with God, I'll be okay.
    I clicked on this video because I needed to hear it! Never heard it put this way. THANK YOU! So grateful I found your channel!

    • @zarakane5376
      @zarakane5376 Před 3 lety

      I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️

    • @zarakane5376
      @zarakane5376 Před 3 lety

      He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯 💯💯

    • @zarakane5376
      @zarakane5376 Před 3 lety

      Whtsaap him**

    • @zarakane5376
      @zarakane5376 Před 3 lety

      ___+ 2::3::4::81::40::79::93::23...

  • @simonzola7999
    @simonzola7999 Před 3 lety

    Superbly helpful and wise, thank you for your deep and succinct sharing

  • @neilazeez101
    @neilazeez101 Před 4 lety +94

    I like how Russell tells us his problems when he gives us advise. Makes it feel more personable. Not like a Guru trying to tell you what to do. More like a friend/uncle talking you through it. Good job Russell!

  • @jacobpadilla5810
    @jacobpadilla5810 Před 4 lety +88

    Me and my ex of 3+ years broke up and we both missed the times of reconciliation after the breakup. She came to pick up her stuff from my apartment and we discussed why it has to be like this. Why we have to close this chapter in our lives to move on to the next one with a possibility of us creating a new chapter in the future but for right now a clean breakup has to be done. She was crying so much and I told her that both of our pain will end and we will be happy and better individuals for ourselves in the future.
    Some days are easier than others. Yesterday I had no feeling to want to talk to her or stalk her on social media but today I felt the feeling to do so. Whenever I feel the need to do this I come back and watch this video. It helps me focus my thoughts on me and my own spirituality and individuality. I wish I could talk to her everyday but I know it's best if we focus on our true selves and grow into something better.

    • @westernalliance796
      @westernalliance796 Před 4 lety

      You guys can break no contact when all the emotions have settled and you guys have truly moved on.

    • @bigd8973
      @bigd8973 Před 4 lety +17

      No I would never break no contact my friend. Especially if she was the one to end the relationship. It’s on her to reach out, but don’t hope for it and if she does I would expect it to end again unless there has been a lot of time between you two (like a year+ at least) and a lot of work on yourselves. You’ll be alright man. I went thru a 7 year relationship ending a couple years ago. Tried it again after two months and ended again with even more pain. It’s been quite a journey, and I’ve only in the last few months realized it was one of the most profound positives to ever happen to me, it forced me to learn a lot about myself and grow up as a mid 30s man, like living alone, growing self confident / not co dependent, developing new hobbies, getting rid of bad habits / lifestyles, etc. I had another relationship since and it lasted about 14 months, just ended a few weeks ago. It’s been rough and it sucks, but not near as bad as that other one as I know everything will be ok with time and that I will emerge and even better version of myself if I work on myself, learn from mistakes, etc. also this recent relationship wasn’t toxic and was so much healthier than the last, so it feels a little better coming out of it. Focus on you, develop passions, and when ready go out and date to re gain confidence. Hopefully 4 months in your a little better. It’ll take time, especially a long one like yours. Accept that and just tell yourself I WILL GET THRU THIS! ❤️

    • @johnnyflow9731
      @johnnyflow9731 Před 4 lety +5

      How u doing now brother?

    • @openheart4606
      @openheart4606 Před 3 lety

      Thank you

    • @jacobpadilla5810
      @jacobpadilla5810 Před 3 lety +1

      ​@@johnnyflow9731 sorry I missed this - a couple months after the breakup I completely got over it, I didn't feel the need to contact her at all. After those couple months I found out she was dating my ex best friend at the time, which happened pretty much immediately after our breakup so that made it a lot easier to completely move on. Lost some life long friends during that time due to them knowing about it but hiding it from me but it's honestly for the best. My circle of friends has gotten smaller but they're friends that actually care about me and would never do something like that to hurt me.
      I think in retrospective anyone would be surprised as to how much someone will hurt you even though you thought they never would. Since then I've been so much happier removing my ex completely out of my life and some of those toxic friends. I've seen her a few times since we broke up but she's said nothing to me. Her boyfriend actually tried to fight me when he got really drunk one night at a bar I go to because I literally told him "I don't really have anything to say to you" after he wanted to talk. He got in my face and tried to punch me outside the bar but I literally just left and luckily I had friends there that pushed him and some of my old friends away. I know the guy personally and he's a huge overly-masculine type of guy that resorts to physical confrontation whenever someone threatens his ego or makes him feel insecure. I really just wanted them to leave me alone and stop trying to bring it up and after that night they all have completely.
      I dated a girl for a month or so shortly after the whole debacle but it didn't work out. The past two months I've been dating this girl and last month we recently became official and I couldn't be happier. Life has been great, I love the girl I'm with and the friends I have in my life have been amazing. I haven't felt the urge to check on her/any of those old friends at all and I don't really plan to. Life moves on and so did I and it was all for the best.

  • @kevinmw123
    @kevinmw123 Před 3 lety +5

    This video helps so much right now. I can’t even tell you how it helps To work through what I’m feeling and going through today. Made me realise how I’m acting desperately to prevent this happening to me rather than understand why I feel that way

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      I pray the Universe grant your heart desires with more love and commitment from your ||Ex|| through the help of the same Great and Powerful man •Dr Steve• who helped me restored my Broken Home. He can make your |ex| beg you for a second chance. I will advise you seek out his help thanks...)

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      I pray the Universe grant your heart desires with more love and commitment from your ||Ex|| through the help of the same Great and Powerful man •Dr Steve• who helped me restored my Broken Home. He can make your |ex| beg you for a second chance. I will advise you seek out his help thanks...)

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      +2=3=4=7=0=3=0=8 9=4 8=9=2.

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      What sApp him

    • @tracyspencer1674
      @tracyspencer1674 Před 3 lety

      What"sapp him++++

  • @tbertram88
    @tbertram88 Před 3 lety

    I really did not expect you to be on youtube coaching people, but im glad i found you

  • @cpeterso
    @cpeterso Před 4 lety +164

    Holy crap Russell. Deep truth that hit home hard, but boy did I need to hear this.

    • @TheRadiostar72
      @TheRadiostar72 Před 4 lety +4

      Christopher Peterson Agree! If I spent half as much time cultivating myself as I spend hating my ex, I may actually have a life I’m proud of and comfortable living. This is exactly the message I need to hear.

    • @cpeterso
      @cpeterso Před 4 lety +3

      @@TheRadiostar72 It definitely is hard when we open up emotionally to other people and end up getting hurt. I haven't necessarily hated my exes, I've just become a hermit, but I'm equally struggling with what I need to be spiritually healthy

  • @computerbiscuit
    @computerbiscuit Před 4 lety +96

    I'm actually really good friends with one of my exes, she cheated on me and broke my heart. Why we became friends is, she truly wanted forgiveness, I forgave her. I learned something very valuable in doing this. One is I lost all attraction for her, and two you can't make people want to be with you, they either do or they don't. Our relationship has been platonic for about 10 years now.
    "To live in a world where nothing is forgiven or irredeemable, is to truly live in hell." ~ Milan Kundera

    • @edwardmuniz6700
      @edwardmuniz6700 Před 4 lety +17

      Sounds like you're her backburner or she is yours. One thing a cheater desires more than the instant gratification of attention is security, you give her that security. Ask yourself if you have a fruitful relationship with someone else or yourself without her. If she is interfering with this then there is something there deep seated and you need to let go, it is just my opinion after I became friends with my ex who cheated and it I happen to be her back up plan, moved on and now I see everything clear

    • @_ifake_6568
      @_ifake_6568 Před 4 lety +14

      BETA ASF

    • @sidismo2903
      @sidismo2903 Před 4 lety +8

      How the hell can you be friends with a person who didn't respect you?

    • @amyjacquelineg.9541
      @amyjacquelineg.9541 Před 4 lety +3

      computerbiscuit That’s rare. Usually one partner still wants the other. I wouldn’t-want a friend that would be a cheater as well. Glad it works for you.

    • @rebecasonata
      @rebecasonata Před 4 lety +1

      I am good friends with almost all my exes, because we didn't let it go sour before we broke up. But it isn't the same just being great friends than dwelling in the past and what could have been.

  • @Anonymouscommentor99
    @Anonymouscommentor99 Před 2 lety

    Every video, my heart grows stronger. Thank you. Keep it real man. Do not rush the introspective please and thank you 🙏😷🤗🤗🤗

  • @glennftw1483
    @glennftw1483 Před 2 lety +2

    Russel, man, I've been using you as a mentor of my life for several things from entertainment, politics, drugs, and etc, for the longest time, and you've always helped me, however, this is the most difficult task I have yet to recover from, and you're making it all the much easier. thank you

    • @bridgetnduba632
      @bridgetnduba632 Před 2 lety

      *Dr.John puede traer de vuelta a tu ex para una segunda oportunidad. Él fue quien me ayudó a restaurar mi relación rota de 5 años al traer de vuelta a mi ex. Además, el Dr. John siempre se mantiene al día con sus palabras. Te recomiendo mucho que busques su ayuda de él a partir de ahora y lo más interesante de todo es que haces todo tipo de trabajo espiritual, puedes leerlo.*

    • @bridgetnduba632
      @bridgetnduba632 Před 2 lety

      *23490*

    • @bridgetnduba632
      @bridgetnduba632 Před 2 lety

      *4724*

    • @bridgetnduba632
      @bridgetnduba632 Před 2 lety

      *6470*

  • @OriginalCouber
    @OriginalCouber Před 4 lety +63

    "You don't know what you have until it's gone" have never been clearer after a break-up. If you had true feelings for the other person. It really really hurts. But it will get better, whoever reads this.
    Girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me in may. Have kid together, 1.9 years old.
    ExGirlfriend started fkn another dude straight away.
    Hurts. Never been more hurt. But it will get better.
    Thanks
    Russell

    • @lobsterstrange
      @lobsterstrange Před 4 lety +11

      You better get out there and start fukin too, have fun and remember there'll always be more fish than fishermen!

    • @robertward4079
      @robertward4079 Před 4 lety +4

      @@lobsterstrange I often hear quotes from Bukowski, Orwell, or Buddha that resonate with me powerfully. Today I read one from Doctor Piss Mule! "Get out there and start fucking too! Remember there will always be more fish than fisherman". I love it!! Whoever you are doc, I'd like to generally thank you so much for putting a big silly grin on my face, during a tough, challenging time in my life. It's a quote I won't ever forget

    • @danielmateofitness7618
      @danielmateofitness7618 Před 4 lety +5

      Im sorry. I am so sorry for one man to another. It will be hard but you will find love bro

    • @nossasenhoradoo871
      @nossasenhoradoo871 Před 4 lety +2

      "Girlfriend of 5 years broke up"
      You lived with her for over 5 yrs, have one child and you still call her your "girlfriend"! That's modern society; everything is temporary and then you complain when it becomes temporary!

    • @joseluiz7017
      @joseluiz7017 Před 4 lety +2

      Couber I feel your pain. I'm going through something similar. Stay strong your not alone and thanks for writing what you did.

  • @ruprecht13
    @ruprecht13 Před 4 lety +30

    Exactly what I've been going through. Finally cut off all contact with my ex a few weeks ago. No longer feel like I'm being eaten away from the inside. He's spot on, it's completely about my relationship with myself and validating myself rather than searching for some external validation (which never works anyhow). Spiritual connection also super important, whatever that means for you. Russell's a very wise fellow.

  • @jg8r829
    @jg8r829 Před 3 lety

    you are helping me on a profound level. I could cry at the fact

  • @fatimahhanash7849
    @fatimahhanash7849 Před 3 lety

    I needed this today 🙏💗💗thank you

  • @theroomnumber5210
    @theroomnumber5210 Před 4 lety +18

    I don’t go back to exes but doesn’t mean I don’t take time to grieve the loss of a relationship. I do, I cry, meditate, understand, I pick up myself eventually and move forward. You can only do that if you don’t fear being alone. There are so many emotionally unavailable people stuck on exes, looking for someone to rescue them, and they only keep passing pain for others by never being fully present in a relationship. That cycle has to end.

  • @o0SayNoMore0o
    @o0SayNoMore0o Před 4 lety +798

    She/he was never yours, it was just your turn

    • @allisona7076
      @allisona7076 Před 4 lety +10

      damnnnnnnn

    • @neowick6848
      @neowick6848 Před 4 lety +3

      Whoa

    • @slakey941
      @slakey941 Před 4 lety +116

      That’s even sadder lol. Like I was leasing a prostitute.

    • @lamargilchrist5718
      @lamargilchrist5718 Před 4 lety +69

      Sneakily quoting skepta

    • @o0SayNoMore0o
      @o0SayNoMore0o Před 4 lety +4

      I don't know what you think screaming at me from the top of your voice like a baby is going to do for you, young chap.
      I certainly never took it from skepta... pip pip cheerio good day to you.

  • @efthimios
    @efthimios Před 3 lety

    Thank Russell I think it’s awesome a celebrity like you are making videos like this to help others, I’m in a lot of pain. God bless you

    • @happywilliams5378
      @happywilliams5378 Před 3 lety

      Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him

    • @happywilliams5378
      @happywilliams5378 Před 3 lety

      Whtsaap him**

    • @happywilliams5378
      @happywilliams5378 Před 3 lety

      ___+2::3::4::70::44::50::97::92....

  • @ghofranalsubaie6968
    @ghofranalsubaie6968 Před 3 lety

    Omg thank u so much for ur thoughtful words , it really helped me, I needed to hear 👂 it like this, smooth and organized, you are amazing

    • @divinefavour4301
      @divinefavour4301 Před 3 lety

      Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. I have a broken relationship for 3years, but now I we are back together through his help. He can really help you as he helped me.

    • @divinefavour4301
      @divinefavour4301 Před 3 lety

      Text him on WhatsApp

    • @divinefavour4301
      @divinefavour4301 Před 3 lety

      +2347044509792🙏