@theglimmerman This is sarcasm? I think. anyways as a Christian I am interested to know what islamic marriages are like because of course no Christian marriage is perfect. But with that said if I get married I want it to be a Biblical relationship but with that said any pieces of wisdom Hijab has I will definitely use, Thanks Mohammed Hj and Jesus loves you ❤
I faced something like this after marrying abroad and coming back to my country 8 years later. Online, my wife and mum were bfs but when they finally met, it was really bad. Both sides were insisting that they were right etc. I didn't know how to deal with the situation. At end my wife lowered her ego for the sake of Allah and started to comply. When my wife complied, my mum turned very caring and passionate. Most problems come from miscommunication and high ego.
@@samirasaud5660 both sides were right and wrong. I surely also did some mistakes. But alhamdulillah things turned out well. 2 women in one house is not healthy. Customs aren't always incline with Islamic rulings.
@anita Annie If you look at Islamqainfo, the scholars say that the wife has every right to have her own seperate household in which she has full privacy. It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (25/109): Putting the parents and the wife together in one home is not permissible (and the same applies to other relatives). Hence the wife has the right to refuse to live with either of them, because it is her right to have separate accommodation where she feels safe with regard to herself and her property. No one has the right to force her to do that. This is the view of the majority of Hanafi, Shaafa‘i and Hanbali fuqaha’. Now that you have asked for evidence, i provided it. Not just this though, its a long drawn-out topic in which the qualified scholars have come to these conclusions based on hadith and quranic sciences. You can find tons of info if you just look it up for yourself and stop expecting people to bring all the information to you.
Toxic inlaws ruin relationships. Many men sacrifice their happiness to please their blood relatives while ruining they own family unit. This is sad though.
100 percent. My dad only cared about his blood family. Only cared to give money to strangers and his parents. Now he’s in debt and lost over 200k usd by scam. Now that he’s in debt and he of course didn’t tell his family about why he can’t send money. So they assumed we cut off our relationship with them without a second thought that we might be having financial issues. I don’t like my own father or his family. Best to just keep a safe distance from these people. Even though my mom is always keepin ties with them cus Islamically it’s not ok to cut ties. PS: also my dad was cheap with my mom and me, always scolding us to spend less money. We could’ve had a house. Now his daughters have hardly any money to inherit and a huge debt to repay :) Lesson to learn: don’t be cheap. Speak up to your parents/family if they’re disrespecting your wife. don’t fall for idiots who wanna scam you. May Allah have revenge on the person who stole from us.
Same my father was cultural and religious blackmailed to give financially to his side of the family his parents endless siblings plus there children He sadly passed away yet left to much debt we his children had to pay it off before the lawsuit and bailiff came knocking While his side of the family are walking around rich and wealthy Us his children are fighting and destroying our lives cuz of this debt. We have our own financial burdens
Akh Muhammad. It's like you're speaking to me directly. My parents exiled my wife from our family. They forbade me, her, and our kids to visit them entirely. Only myself and the kids were allowed to visit. My parents haven't set foot in our home in over 3 years after multiple invites. Despite my wife and I trying to reason with them in the most civil manner, they've given me the ultimatum to divorce her and ruin our lives and the lives of our children so they can control me. Unfortunately I've had to sever my ties with my family of origin because they refuse to reconcile and seek spiritual guidance and continued to torture me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. SubhanAllah narcissism runs deep in the soul for even some Muslims, like your own parents. This is a real epidemic.
Based on the information you have written here. I do believe staying with your wife and kids was the right thing to do (which I believe you did), because inciting someone else to divorce is something shaytan would like, and leaving your children in that state would be a form of oppression.
Just one thing that we need to keep in mind is that your spouse is married to you not your whole family, your his responsibility and he is yours, give your in laws and parents due respect and don’t let them intervene in between you and your spouse.
Let her marry a orphan if she doesn’t want to be part of a family woman want handbags not husband’s if men act like men there won’t be no problems not at all act like a man and get treated like a man
This is a disease in the south asain community. I was bullied, humiliated and treated like a household slave, cooking and ironing the brother in laws clothes etc...my husband was to weak to say anything, deflect it back on me that I'm looking to deep. It has changed our marriage forever and consequently my mental health and respect for him. Don't bury your heads in the sand guys, like he said speak out on justice wether its your wife or family. Don't destroy what should be a blessing to have a spouse and kids. Many people never get to experience this blessing.
Totally agree with brother Hijab. Also, let’s remember to keep marital problems within the marriage. Do not complain to your parents about your spouse.
Depends how serious the problem is. Everyday petty stuff no . But domestic violence , even verbal abuse first speak with the spouse . If it continues and escalates it’s dangerous , man or woman you must speak to your parents or older siblings :friends .
Great video, thanks for sharing. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, Really love her so much, i can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated because i literally can't envision my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Your feelings are understandable, It's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation when my wife of 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
This might sound blunt, but I'm going to be real with you. first of all I don't know the details of how this happened and how you got here. But from what you shared my answer to you, and I've been happily married for 15 years, is to love yourself first. If you love yourself and value yourself and be complete with who you are, then your wife will be less likely to leave you. If my wife leave me today, and I love her I would be, Ok good to know that you don't deserve me and you won't have this chance again with me. I'm complete by my own and I don't need you to complete me. And look at this as an opportunity to find a better match learning from my past mistakes.
Basically if everyone behaved and treated everyone without bias. Sadly a lot of people cannot see outside their own perspective and create their own hierarchies, some of it cultural norms.
These are the things that destroy marriages. 1. Inlaw interference 2. Evil eye / black magic - note ( If Allah does not will it, no harm can be done ) 3. Sexual incompatibility 4. Poor communication 5. Emotional distance 6. Perfectionism 7. Poor chemistry 8. Porn addiction 9. Cheating 10. Lack of commitment 11. Stress 12. Mental illness 13. Gambling addiction 14. Alcohol addiction 15. Drug addiction 16. Domestic violence 17. Coercive control 18. Obsessive love 19. Financial difficulties Ultimate reason - not worshipping Allah 5 times day.
😅 I like these car videos. You know Hijab was having some deep thoughts and made a video right on the spot without any rehearsal or anything. I can tell because it is cloudy where I am too in London.
As Muslims, learning to be patient should be our top priority, as it can help us prevent giving into anger and making decisions in haste. And rightly said by brother Hijab that if you are not sure about something, consult it with someone higher , it could be one or more than one person, who is knowledgable and can provide a solution from an Islamic perspetive.
Well said we need more insight and help on marriage. There needs to be more workshops and marriage counselling at masjid. We should look at the evidence and truth of the problems and support the truth
Brothers need to be firm with their parents AND their wife. It is his responsibility to manage these relationships by being just to both parties. Being just means speaking the truth to whoever is wrong, whether it's the parents or the wife. Some in-laws behave badly and think they come before the wife in every situation and some wives think that they come before the parents in every situation, both are wrong. You also get some in-laws who treat their sons/daughters as their possession and so their son/daughter in-law by extension become their property and will demand servitude from them, this is also wrong. Each wife and husband need to have a backbone and know when to tell their parents to step back from their relationship but equally should tell their spouse when they are also wrong.
Brother hijab, can you make a video on the recent Richard Dawkins and Piers morgan interview. I think it will be very interesting to get your views based on your intellect and academia about the things he said about Islam and the origin of life ..
It's been indeed a long time. I was wondering that something like a 'Vehicle Frontseat Podcast' won't be bad similar to the MH Podcast. Besides, good advice as always on this matter.
I've been a part of joint family, used to love the idea!! I dont mind being in a joint family and will treat his family like my own, but what I fear is family politics that goes on in joint families.
Both sides need one deep understanding: I might be wrong or what's my own fault in this situation. In other words people need self reflection, muraqabah, to see their own mistakes.
Can you please provide a proper framework for making this practical, in a separate video please, or give us resources on this? e.g. what is the threshold of injustice, how to approach / general principles of correcting e.g. hearing both sides, etc.
Yesh When you get in hospital with accident or something never bring them to see you Coz you are not married to them I hope and when you were in hospital or in some other place they never showed up to you till your death and I pray that they will not come to your funeral And you must not go to their funeral or wedding or some other stuff And they do this as well
Whether you like it or not when you marry two families are joined together , not just two individuals. So if you don’t like the immediate family at all then don’t marry . But the way Muslims are arranged in marriage it’s usually such a short period of time it’s impossible to really know the in laws and larger family members
Allahumma Salli Ala Muhammadin Wa Ala Ali Muhammadin Kama Sallaita 'Ala Ibrahima Wa'Ala Ali Ibrahima Innaka Hamidum Majid -O Allah, let Your blessings come upon Muhammad and the family of Muhammad as You blessed Ibrahim and his family -truly You are the Praiseworthy and Glorious Alliumma Barik Ala Muhammadin Wa'Ala Ali Muhammadin Kama Bäraketa Ala Ibrahima Wa Ala Ali Ibrahima Innaka Hamidum Majid -O Allah, bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad -as You blessed Ibrahim and his family -truly You are the Praiseworthy and Glorious Ameen ya Rabb Jazak Allahu Khayran Ramadan Mubarak Alhamdulillahi rabbi al'alameen
Hi mohamed hijab I'm a Muslim man from Morocco these days I started reading about this iconic philosophy stoicism فلسفة الرواقية and while I'm reading and searching about this philosophy I discovered that she has some principles like Islam. What I want to know is it haram or halal to learn about this philosophy? And why not you make about it a video explaining it to the young man And thanks.
Stoicism is just about learning to control your emotions and being strong and resilient when facing adversity, so it actually coincides with Islam in these regards but at the end of the day it’s a belief system with pagan Greek origins so unless you’re learned in both western philosophy and Islamic philosophy, it’s best to not delve into it because you might end up getting confused or misinformed
Allah says (ٱلۡیَوۡمَ أَكۡمَلۡتُ لَكُمۡ دِینَكُمۡ وَأَتۡمَمۡتُ عَلَیۡكُمۡ نِعۡمَتِی وَرَضِیتُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡإِسۡلَـٰمَ دِینࣰاۚ) [سورة المائدة 3]Allah chose islam as the best way yo live life why look for other ways Unless ur just studying it to refute people calling other to this philosophy
Nothing makes me feel more alone than watching such videos. Being isolated with a man you’re married to with kids,who demands obedience regardless of what he does and how it messes with me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. On top his family treated me so horribly and all he did was stay silent and tell me that this is how his mum and sister is and there’s no point in saying anything. If only he knew how much of a pussy I thought he was. But I know that would make him even worse towards me. Ladies, never marry a man who didn’t have a dad growing up unless the community/masjid etc can vouch for him and his character and he is actually deeply involved with the brothers. (Not just someone everyone knows but no one really knows/is close with him).
You sound toxic even by the way you formulated the comment(like using words like pussy) you are giving bad presumptions of orphans doesn't matter whether you put / or not
I urge young men to keep wife and mother in separate homes and give both their rights. Spend quality time with the mother. Remember as women age some of them can become very malicious always planning and plotting imaginary scenarios.
@@a.bmin-ki3946 Every situation is unique. The men and women who can afford it should always live separate cause only then relationships are protected. You can live separate and still care for parents. Visit them cook food for them clean and tidy up for them manage their finances and so much more. The culture can become very abusive and toxic when people don’t know there rights and responsibilities.
@@robloxroyalehigh2016 listen marraige is a disaster Coz when you get married this situation came along with people So don't get married So you don't face this type of problem Living single is the best thing
What if the stepmother in law does sneaky things and use words to disrespect me in a sneaky way and my husband says that he does not agree with me seeing it that way? When it is clearly meant to distespect me.
That’s a form of abuse . Kindly speak to your husband and point it out with scenarios by flipping the story over so he was t th e victim and your father was making comments to him, how would he like it if you seemingly “didn’t see the problem”. Also go to your own home relationships can improve with some distance . Always be polite when you meet the in laws even if they’re not great to you. And if despite it all they’re still just as discourteous have minimal contact .
I would be interested to see if this is mainly happening to muslims living in the west. You don't hear about this being such a big issue in muslim countries.
Arrange marriages, not loving the person you are married to makes an unhealthy marriage and unhappy marriage. A Muslim lady said to me she has been married 20 years and her husband has never said he loves her, he sleeps in the spare room. She asked him do you love me and he told her love need to grow. She asked me what that meant? I told her to ask her husband. 😂😂
@@nauxsi A loveless marriage. It's lasted 20 years because they are first cousins it's family. If he divorces her he will have to divorce the family as well. His father and her father are brothers. She loves him and he doesn't love her makes for a very unhappy long marriage with no escape. And it all because of the family nothing else.
@@nauxsi she is very unhappy he sometimes stays out all night and he doesn't speak to her. They stay together not to cause friction in the family. She suffers from depression and has tryed to commit suicide several times. What kind of a life is that?
@@AnnaMaria-po5mk It's not an ideal one for sure. Usually your partner cannot be all things to you, so you get those things from friends and family. Hopefully she gets help. So Anna what do you look for in a partner?
She can't marry you without his father's permission but keep trying to convince them. However, if they made up their mind, you should look for another woman. Life is hard but you have to deal with it.
Save your life time and forget about this girl as fast as you can. I was in the same situation... Cost me a year until her father said yes and in the end I chose to leave her after our engagement: Her parents stirred her up and instead of defending me and stay true to our agreements, she hurt my feelings and she didn't know where her loyalties have to be. As a man you want to have a father in-law, who you can look into the eyes and he talks to his daughter some sense, if needed
This destroyed my marriage. My ex husband invited his parents and sisters into every disagreement we had, so he would have a team against me. The bitterness and resentment that built up became insurmountable. I hated him so much by the time I divorced him. Alhamdulillah, God sent me a wonderful man who is my second husband and healed my heart from my first marriage.
Abit of a random video Hijab? Needing to read between the lines here. I am fortunate hamdillah that I have a good relationship with my in-laws. We have never argued in my 12years of marriage and InshaaAllah never will. Personally as parents I give my in-laws respect and to uphold the ties of kinship I'm respectful to my my Sisters and brother in-laws. I would never raise my voice to my mother so why would I do so to my mother in law. I understand everyone's personal situation is different but life is short.
I was getting to know a brother for marriage and my mother isn’t Muslim and she refused to allow me to have him visit me in the home we share. She didn’t understand to look at him for his deen. She only looked at what he looked like and what kind of car he drove.
Dont feel sorry for those young men. They got what they signed up for. Thats why we should do our due diligence before getting married and avoid these "modern educated" feminist nazis. If you get stuck with one of those, its your problem, take full accountability.
Unfortunately not everyone lucky enough to be in that position. When i just got married my father passed away and left a life altering amount of debt which forced 3 households to live in the same roof. All my funds that i've gathered through the years gone in an instant, relationships between family members on each household became so toxic under all the stress and frustration. Let alone have any kind of resources to get a new place of my own, i can barely feed by family...
Brother Mohammed, I think you should make a longer video on this, I think it will benefit alot of people, but its, as the comments show, almost never this simple. Here are some points to think about: Women almost never comes with a clear cut scenario like that were its blatantly clear who is right or wrong. Thats what makes it hard. Your describing the women, a bit like men, with clear cut problems and solution. Today, sadly, many women have fallen to their ego. They don't want to sacrifice, they dont want to keep contact with their husbands family but also very other problems stemming from mostly about taking and deeming every inconvinience as unfairness. This might come from feminism, idk. Women usually come with "Your mom did this to me" and when you ask "why do you think she did that", just searching for a solution, makes women more frustrated, they will say this and that but what they are actually saying is "I dont care who is right or wrong, you should think I am right and not the other side and I will convulute, distort and diffuse this topic til you dont know where to stand on this and the only thing you can stand with is who manipulates the situation better" of course this can happen from moms to but its way more normal with the wife. So, in the end, its not about just saying whats true, women get emotional to the point where literally, truth doesn't matter. I think its way more fundemental to learn how to handle this, how to handle this emotional state women get into. Some psychologists like the one who wrote, men are from mars and women from venus suggests to just listen to your wife when they have problem, but this, honestly, never works, because in these situations, its not about venting out, its about you, in the end agree to what she says. Or maybe it is possible to teach her when she is calm idk, Maybe the solution for it is "be blatant and open with the truth" but honestly, I dont think it is. There is a reason women are described as a rib in our deen,leave it and it will stab you in the lungs, bend it and you will crack it. You have to always pay attention to it and respect it and keep it in the middle. Not too much force not too little. So just being autistically stubborn on whats right and just smash through the wall with it, its more about subtleness. Its an education process, our wives better us in our menly weaknesses and we have to educate them in the problems they don't see.
@@Kay35253 may Allah guide you too. The fact that you react this way to something obvious about women is like me reacting “wow, that’s sexist against men” if someone said men have a tendency towards sexuality and look at women or that we are to Cold and emotionless. These are facts about genders that all cultures in the whole world accepts. What feminists tries women to think is “no, it’s not wrong or bad from you to be irrational and emotional, it’s not wrong from you to get all the benefits of being a women while not doing your responsibilities” Men are obliged to not look at women while women doesn’t have the same rule turned around in the same way. Should I call that sexist? Maybe it is. Having traits good and bad from your sex is sexist? Then everyone in the world is sexist
Well you certainly are brainwashed it’s the traditional indopak chauvinism . It’s within all cultures to be fair . But it’s not part of Islam. In your example the wife approaches saying the in law has done some injustice to her. But rather than saying “ what did she do let me hear it”. You blame her by saying “why do you think she did that “. It’s not just an innocent remark as you then suggested “in search of a solution.” If you wanted a solution you would say “let me hear the full story from you, then I will speak to mother politely for her account . Personally I would say all this is easily avoided by following the advice of shayukh . That is get your own home rented or outright, with a bit of distance, so you can form your own family without these problems. It’s not a case of the wife against the in law or disobedience . Or versa with the evil in laws . Think about it for a minute . A woman runs her own home how she likes for 20 yrs + Then her son is married and a new woman enters the home. In her eyes this woman is taking her place . She wants to control the running for her household. Naturally she will feel threatened . Naturally she will have her way of doing things and the wife will have her own way . The wife will also want to have a share in the management of the home because naturally she wants to make this her home and has been asked to live under this roof. So this butting of heads is to be expected . Avoid it all keep good relations with your parents and wife by having your own home!
Never talk about your relationship with anyone other than your spouse. Your marriage will be rock solid if you follow this advice.
@theglimmerman This is sarcasm? I think. anyways as a Christian I am interested to know what islamic marriages are like because of course no Christian marriage is perfect. But with that said if I get married I want it to be a Biblical relationship but with that said any pieces of wisdom Hijab has I will definitely use, Thanks Mohammed Hj and Jesus loves you ❤
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said;
“Give charity without delay, for it stands in the way of calamity.”
- Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 589
.
I faced something like this after marrying abroad and coming back to my country 8 years later. Online, my wife and mum were bfs but when they finally met, it was really bad. Both sides were insisting that they were right etc. I didn't know how to deal with the situation. At end my wife lowered her ego for the sake of Allah and started to comply. When my wife complied, my mum turned very caring and passionate. Most problems come from miscommunication and high ego.
I hope things in your home are done how you say and not how your mother says 🤔
What abt your mum
@@samirasaud5660 both sides were right and wrong. I surely also did some mistakes. But alhamdulillah things turned out well. 2 women in one house is not healthy. Customs aren't always incline with Islamic rulings.
@@ChErRyaVe20pK I have never heard it being haram. Evidence please
@anita Annie If you look at Islamqainfo, the scholars say that the wife has every right to have her own seperate household in which she has full privacy.
It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (25/109):
Putting the parents and the wife together in one home is not permissible (and the same applies to other relatives). Hence the wife has the right to refuse to live with either of them, because it is her right to have separate accommodation where she feels safe with regard to herself and her property. No one has the right to force her to do that.
This is the view of the majority of Hanafi, Shaafa‘i and Hanbali fuqaha’.
Now that you have asked for evidence, i provided it. Not just this though, its a long drawn-out topic in which the qualified scholars have come to these conclusions based on hadith and quranic sciences. You can find tons of info if you just look it up for yourself and stop expecting people to bring all the information to you.
Just remember that if you go against you parents or your elders, you must do it respectfully.
If muslims are not allowed to eat pork, how is that man so fat?
Kama tudine tudane 🕌🌙
Easier said than done sometimes.
Wise words brother
@@nauxsi
Thats very true also. Maybe thats why the rewards for respect towards parents, even when disagreeing with them, is so highly rewarded
Toxic inlaws ruin relationships. Many men sacrifice their happiness to please their blood relatives while ruining they own family unit. This is sad though.
So so true
The opposite absolutely happens. A toxic wife that starts shit can absolutely be a problem. It’s not always the in-laws.
@@Carl007Jr exactly, goes both ways
100 percent. My dad only cared about his blood family. Only cared to give money to strangers and his parents. Now he’s in debt and lost over 200k usd by scam. Now that he’s in debt and he of course didn’t tell his family about why he can’t send money. So they assumed we cut off our relationship with them without a second thought that we might be having financial issues. I don’t like my own father or his family. Best to just keep a safe distance from these people. Even though my mom is always keepin ties with them cus Islamically it’s not ok to cut ties.
PS: also my dad was cheap with my mom and me, always scolding us to spend less money. We could’ve had a house. Now his daughters have hardly any money to inherit and a huge debt to repay :)
Lesson to learn: don’t be cheap. Speak up to your parents/family if they’re disrespecting your wife. don’t fall for idiots who wanna scam you. May Allah have revenge on the person who stole from us.
Same my father was cultural and religious blackmailed to give financially to his side of the family his parents endless siblings plus there children
He sadly passed away yet left to much debt we his children had to pay it off before the lawsuit and bailiff came knocking
While his side of the family are walking around rich and wealthy
Us his children are fighting and destroying our lives cuz of this debt. We have our own financial burdens
Akh Muhammad. It's like you're speaking to me directly. My parents exiled my wife from our family. They forbade me, her, and our kids to visit them entirely. Only myself and the kids were allowed to visit. My parents haven't set foot in our home in over 3 years after multiple invites. Despite my wife and I trying to reason with them in the most civil manner, they've given me the ultimatum to divorce her and ruin our lives and the lives of our children so they can control me. Unfortunately I've had to sever my ties with my family of origin because they refuse to reconcile and seek spiritual guidance and continued to torture me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. SubhanAllah narcissism runs deep in the soul for even some Muslims, like your own parents. This is a real epidemic.
Cultural Muslims are the worst.
Based on the information you have written here. I do believe staying with your wife and kids was the right thing to do (which I believe you did), because inciting someone else to divorce is something shaytan would like, and leaving your children in that state would be a form of oppression.
Akh Mehdi, your situation and mine are mirrored. I pray your parents and mine recieve hidiyah. And us too.
It depends who exactly you married
@@syshock2 In some cases the don could get married again and the same situation may occur
Moving out is one of the best things you can do.
A woman has no obligation towards her In Laws the Husband can't force her to serve the In Laws, It's her right to demand a seperate accomodation
Thank you bro for sharing this. Im not married yet but its a good knowledge to have before getting into it
Just one thing that we need to keep in mind is that your spouse is married to you not your whole family, your his responsibility and he is yours, give your in laws and parents due respect and don’t let them intervene in between you and your spouse.
Let her marry a orphan if she doesn’t want to be part of a family woman want handbags not husband’s if men act like men there won’t be no problems not at all act like a man and get treated like a man
💯 right
One of the realist talks I’ve ever heard czcams.com/video/GI2Zt1C_1k0/video.html
Exactly
Jazakallah brother.
Very important topic indeed.
May swt save the marriages of our brothers and sisters and instill love in their relationships.
Excellent advise mashallah. May Allah reward you for speaking out so clearly on something that generally gets brushed over.
More muslims brothers need to understand this type of situations rather than the red pill crap. Jazakallah bro.
Peace to you all. Well said, Jazak Allahu Khairun beloved brother.
Bro I needed this guidance. Thanks. Side with justice and truth
Thanks for this video brother Mohammed!
This is a disease in the south asain community. I was bullied, humiliated and treated like a household slave, cooking and ironing the brother in laws clothes etc...my husband was to weak to say anything, deflect it back on me that I'm looking to deep. It has changed our marriage forever and consequently my mental health and respect for him. Don't bury your heads in the sand guys, like he said speak out on justice wether its your wife or family. Don't destroy what should be a blessing to have a spouse and kids. Many people never get to experience this blessing.
These are not real men, sorry to say.
@@agle3324 i agree that's half of the problem in situations like this
*Jazak Allah khairan 🤲Ramadan🕌Kareem🌙*
Jazak Allah kheir.
Totally agree with brother Hijab.
Also, let’s remember to keep marital problems within the marriage. Do not complain to your parents about your spouse.
Depends how serious the problem is. Everyday petty stuff no . But domestic violence , even verbal abuse first speak with the spouse . If it continues and escalates it’s dangerous , man or woman you must speak to your parents or older siblings :friends .
@@luluah1198or legal authorities
A very good point raised
As someone who's recently married, this video is quite useful
Ua alaykum assalam uarahmatulloahi ua barakatuhu ahi
Barakallahu fikum
Great video, thanks for sharing. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, Really love her so much, i can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated because i literally can't envision my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Your feelings are understandable, It's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation when my wife of 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@ddirtdid Wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach him/her?
@@Margart526 her name is MONICA ERLENE MORA, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as a caster and healer
@@ddirtdid Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.
This might sound blunt, but I'm going to be real with you. first of all I don't know the details of how this happened and how you got here. But from what you shared my answer to you, and I've been happily married for 15 years, is to love yourself first. If you love yourself and value yourself and be complete with who you are, then your wife will be less likely to leave you. If my wife leave me today, and I love her I would be, Ok good to know that you don't deserve me and you won't have this chance again with me. I'm complete by my own and I don't need you to complete me. And look at this as an opportunity to find a better match learning from my past mistakes.
Jazakhallahu bi khair
This should be part of a series
Basically if everyone behaved and treated everyone without bias. Sadly a lot of people cannot see outside their own perspective and create their own hierarchies, some of it cultural norms.
Great video. Refreshing.
These are the things that destroy marriages.
1. Inlaw interference
2. Evil eye / black magic - note ( If Allah does not will it, no harm can be done )
3. Sexual incompatibility
4. Poor communication
5. Emotional distance
6. Perfectionism
7. Poor chemistry
8. Porn addiction
9. Cheating
10. Lack of commitment
11. Stress
12. Mental illness
13. Gambling addiction
14. Alcohol addiction
15. Drug addiction
16. Domestic violence
17. Coercive control
18. Obsessive love
19. Financial difficulties
Ultimate reason - not worshipping Allah 5 times day.
For realz
لو سمحت
haqq
💯🗿
I have one problem in my marriage out of all this please make du’a for me
Excellent advice
😅 I like these car videos. You know Hijab was having some deep thoughts and made a video right on the spot without any rehearsal or anything. I can tell because it is cloudy where I am too in London.
Problem is with uneducated families who are stuck in the past.
As Muslims, learning to be patient should be our top priority, as it can help us prevent giving into anger and making decisions in haste. And rightly said by brother Hijab that if you are not sure about something, consult it with someone higher , it could be one or more than one person, who is knowledgable and can provide a solution from an Islamic perspetive.
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
اخي 🌷
Well said we need more insight and help on marriage. There needs to be more workshops and marriage counselling at masjid. We should look at the evidence and truth of the problems and support the truth
I love you brother
Your video came in the right moment ❤❤
Shukran❤
May Allah reward you with good, you’re indeed among the Islamic warriors.
First ❤ This was very informative thanks
Brothers need to be firm with their parents AND their wife. It is his responsibility to manage these relationships by being just to both parties. Being just means speaking the truth to whoever is wrong, whether it's the parents or the wife.
Some in-laws behave badly and think they come before the wife in every situation and some wives think that they come before the parents in every situation, both are wrong.
You also get some in-laws who treat their sons/daughters as their possession and so their son/daughter in-law by extension become their property and will demand servitude from them, this is also wrong.
Each wife and husband need to have a backbone and know when to tell their parents to step back from their relationship but equally should tell their spouse when they are also wrong.
Agreed . In fact these issues are cultural issues not related to Islam.
Can you do a reminder about the difference between controlling and obedience.
Excellent 😊
Brother hijab, can you make a video on the recent Richard Dawkins and Piers morgan interview. I think it will be very interesting to get your views based on your intellect and academia about the things he said about Islam and the origin of life ..
MA good video Allahuma barik
It's been indeed a long time. I was wondering that something like a 'Vehicle Frontseat Podcast' won't be bad similar to the MH Podcast. Besides, good advice as always on this matter.
Salamalykum. Hopefully you post more
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Well spoken. Much needed. This should be sent to everyone's inlaws.
more of this please
I've been a part of joint family, used to love the idea!! I dont mind being in a joint family and will treat his family like my own, but what I fear is family politics that goes on in joint families.
Side not with people, but with Allah
Love the Blackbay 58
Both sides need one deep understanding: I might be wrong or what's my own fault in this situation. In other words people need self reflection, muraqabah, to see their own mistakes.
Can you please provide a proper framework for making this practical, in a separate video please, or give us resources on this?
e.g. what is the threshold of injustice, how to approach / general principles of correcting e.g. hearing both sides, etc.
The second you try to arbitrate, either your mother will think you are being disrespectful or your wife will think you don’t love her.
Ty
People you DON'T need to be besties or constantly in contact with inlaws, you didn't marry them, they aren't your family.
Yesh
When you get in hospital with accident or something never bring them to see you
Coz you are not married to them
I hope and when you were in hospital or in some other place they never showed up to you till your death and I pray that they will not come to your funeral
And you must not go to their funeral or wedding or some other stuff
And they do this as well
Whether you like it or not when you marry two families are joined together , not just two individuals. So if you don’t like the immediate family at all then don’t marry . But the way Muslims are arranged in marriage it’s usually such a short period of time it’s impossible to really know the in laws and larger family members
@@a.bmin-ki3946 oh look a retard who thinks I said you should hate your inlaws and never jave any contact with them, peak hindu level of logic.
Allahumma Salli Ala Muhammadin
Wa Ala Ali Muhammadin
Kama Sallaita 'Ala Ibrahima
Wa'Ala Ali Ibrahima
Innaka Hamidum Majid
-O Allah, let Your blessings come
upon Muhammad
and the family of Muhammad
as You blessed Ibrahim and
his family
-truly You are the Praiseworthy and
Glorious
Alliumma Barik Ala
Muhammadin
Wa'Ala Ali Muhammadin
Kama Bäraketa Ala Ibrahima
Wa Ala Ali Ibrahima Innaka Hamidum Majid
-O Allah, bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad
-as You blessed
Ibrahim and his family
-truly You are the Praiseworthy and Glorious
Ameen ya Rabb
Jazak Allahu Khayran
Ramadan Mubarak
Alhamdulillahi rabbi al'alameen
Hi mohamed hijab
I'm a Muslim man from Morocco
these days I started reading about this iconic philosophy stoicism فلسفة الرواقية and while I'm reading and searching about this philosophy I discovered that she has some principles like Islam.
What I want to know is it haram or halal to learn about this philosophy?
And why not you make about it a video explaining it to the young man
And thanks.
Read and learn will about the Islamic creed ( aqida العقيدة الاسلامية ) then go and learn kalam فلسفة
Stoicism is just about learning to control your emotions and being strong and resilient when facing adversity, so it actually coincides with Islam in these regards but at the end of the day it’s a belief system with pagan Greek origins so unless you’re learned in both western philosophy and Islamic philosophy, it’s best to not delve into it because you might end up getting confused or misinformed
Allah says
(ٱلۡیَوۡمَ أَكۡمَلۡتُ لَكُمۡ دِینَكُمۡ وَأَتۡمَمۡتُ عَلَیۡكُمۡ نِعۡمَتِی وَرَضِیتُ لَكُمُ ٱلۡإِسۡلَـٰمَ دِینࣰاۚ)
[سورة المائدة 3]Allah chose islam as the best way yo live life why look for other ways
Unless ur just studying it to refute people calling other to this philosophy
Would like to see a video from him on ur question too tho
I have a tauhied mother in law. May Allah guide here all they way to Jennah Ameen.
Nothing makes me feel more alone than watching such videos. Being isolated with a man you’re married to with kids,who demands obedience regardless of what he does and how it messes with me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. On top his family treated me so horribly and all he did was stay silent and tell me that this is how his mum and sister is and there’s no point in saying anything. If only he knew how much of a pussy I thought he was. But I know that would make him even worse towards me.
Ladies, never marry a man who didn’t have a dad growing up unless the community/masjid etc can vouch for him and his character and he is actually deeply involved with the brothers. (Not just someone everyone knows but no one really knows/is close with him).
You sound toxic even by the way you formulated the comment(like using words like pussy) you are giving bad presumptions of orphans doesn't matter whether you put / or not
Habibi ya ma3aliem
I urge young men to keep wife and mother in separate homes and give both their rights. Spend quality time with the mother. Remember as women age some of them can become very malicious always planning and plotting imaginary scenarios.
Are you gone mad
In this inflation time
It's impossible
And what about parents are in their old age
Come on
Instead you should not go in to marraige
@@a.bmin-ki3946 Every situation is unique. The men and women who can afford it should always live separate cause only then relationships are protected. You can live separate and still care for parents. Visit them cook food for them clean and tidy up for them manage their finances and so much more. The culture can become very abusive and toxic when people don’t know there rights and responsibilities.
@@robloxroyalehigh2016 listen marraige is a disaster
Coz when you get married this situation came along with people
So don't get married
So you don't face this type of problem
Living single is the best thing
@@a.bmin-ki3946 No please get married. Marriage is not a disaster just give everyone their rights.
@@a.bmin-ki3946 Marriage is not a disaster. Please do get married. Just give everyone their rights.
does 24:33 have anything to do with it?
What if the stepmother in law does sneaky things and use words to disrespect me in a sneaky way and my husband says that he does not agree with me seeing it that way? When it is clearly meant to distespect me.
That’s a form of abuse . Kindly speak to your husband and point it out with scenarios by flipping the story over so he was t th e victim and your father was making comments to him, how would he like it if you seemingly “didn’t see the problem”.
Also go to your own home relationships can improve with some distance . Always be polite when you meet the in laws even if they’re not great to you. And if despite it all they’re still just as discourteous have minimal contact .
Anger ?
What is a women supposed to do islamically if her husband doesn't stand up to his mum if his mum is doing injustice with his wife?
Divorce him
♥
I would be interested to see if this is mainly happening to muslims living in the west. You don't hear about this being such a big issue in muslim countries.
As Salam bro
Haqq
Arrange marriages, not loving the person you are married to makes an unhealthy marriage and unhappy marriage.
A Muslim lady said to me she has been married 20 years and her husband has never said he loves
her, he sleeps in the spare room.
She asked him do you love me and he told her love need to grow.
She asked me what that meant?
I told her to ask her husband. 😂😂
That’s why they been married 20 years.
@@nauxsi A loveless marriage.
It's lasted 20 years because they
are first cousins it's family.
If he divorces her he will have
to divorce the family as well.
His father and her father are brothers. She loves him and he doesn't love her makes for a very unhappy long marriage with no escape.
And it all because of the family nothing else.
@@AnnaMaria-po5mk It sounds like they have made it work.
@@nauxsi she is very unhappy he sometimes stays out all night and he doesn't speak to her.
They stay together not to cause friction in the family.
She suffers from depression and has tryed to commit suicide several times. What kind of a life is that?
@@AnnaMaria-po5mk It's not an ideal one for sure. Usually your partner cannot be all things to you, so you get those things from friends and family. Hopefully she gets help.
So Anna what do you look for in a partner?
Respect is key...
The parents of the woman i want to marry is rejecting me because of different nationality and culture. What can we do about this?
That’s rough buddy
She can't marry you without his father's permission but keep trying to convince them. However, if they made up their mind, you should look for another woman. Life is hard but you have to deal with it.
Look for another woman 🗿
Save your life time and forget about this girl as fast as you can. I was in the same situation... Cost me a year until her father said yes and in the end I chose to leave her after our engagement: Her parents stirred her up and instead of defending me and stay true to our agreements, she hurt my feelings and she didn't know where her loyalties have to be. As a man you want to have a father in-law, who you can look into the eyes and he talks to his daughter some sense, if needed
@@arabmoneyfreshcash sorry to her that akh. what made her parents change their minds in the end?
❤
marry an orphan
LMAOOO
I'm suffering with this can you make😂more videos
Are you a man? 😢😮
This destroyed my marriage. My ex husband invited his parents and sisters into every disagreement we had, so he would have a team against me. The bitterness and resentment that built up became insurmountable. I hated him so much by the time I divorced him. Alhamdulillah, God sent me a wonderful man who is my second husband and healed my heart from my first marriage.
Abit of a random video Hijab? Needing to read between the lines here. I am fortunate hamdillah that I have a good relationship with my in-laws. We have never argued in my 12years of marriage and InshaaAllah never will. Personally as parents I give my in-laws respect and to uphold the ties of kinship I'm respectful to my my Sisters and brother in-laws. I would never raise my voice to my mother so why would I do so to my mother in law. I understand everyone's personal situation is different but life is short.
Brother Hijab in your car recording a video about marriage issues … I hope you are ok 😊😊😂😂
Just move out when able is the only real way to sustain growth with a spouse..
I was getting to know a brother for marriage and my mother isn’t Muslim and she refused to allow me to have him visit me in the home we share. She didn’t understand to look at him for his deen. She only looked at what he looked like and what kind of car he drove.
Interesting
One thing that destroys marriage is when you stop acting like a strong secure man. Be a cute little nice guy and she'll leave you in no time.
You can be both.
always the in-laws
Just try to live separately, if you can.
1100
Feel sorry for young men currently marrying modern 'educated' girls'. Glad i married before this new 'me, me, me' trend kicked in.
Dont feel sorry for those young men. They got what they signed up for. Thats why we should do our due diligence before getting married and avoid these "modern educated" feminist nazis. If you get stuck with one of those, its your problem, take full accountability.
@@floki5182 fair point
You guys are starting to sound like incels.
It's called feminism
@@silvo9460 Marrying women who understand their natural roles makes us men 'incels'?
hey momo
❤❤❤❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I have 1 questions for Muslims: do sunnis think shias go to hell? I’m just curious
yes
If they cursed prophet's companion, and do weird rituals againts al-Quran and hadith? Then yes, and mostly thats the case
If they go against Qur'an and Hadith then yes otherwise No 💁
Not all Shias. Only one dying while he/she is kaafir shia will go to jahannum.
One word "Feminism".
what do you mean when you said partner ?
جزاك الله خيرا والله يهدي جميع المسلمين والمسلمات والمؤمنين والمؤمنات الأحياء منهم والأموات
off topic but nice black bay ;)
Avoid all this altogether, move out of possible.
Especially when it comes to race the black and right here
Dont think anyone makes any videos on how hard it is for the muslim man in todays day and age.
Can’t believe this guy is only 29, I’m 40 he makes me look like a kid
فاعدلوا the alef here is hamzatu wassl, we don't pronounce it here
Guys move out when you get married, do not stay with your parents
Bad advice
@@hibatuadam2777 lol are you married?
@@smurfanb348 it all depends. This is case by case.
Unfortunately not everyone lucky enough to be in that position. When i just got married my father passed away and left a life altering amount of debt which forced 3 households to live in the same roof. All my funds that i've gathered through the years gone in an instant, relationships between family members on each household became so toxic under all the stress and frustration. Let alone have any kind of resources to get a new place of my own, i can barely feed by family...
@@YusufIslam1 generally if you can afford to move out you should
Brother Mohammed, I think you should make a longer video on this, I think it will benefit alot of people, but its, as the comments show, almost never this simple. Here are some points to think about:
Women almost never comes with a clear cut scenario like that were its blatantly clear who is right or wrong. Thats what makes it hard. Your describing the women, a bit like men, with clear cut problems and solution. Today, sadly, many women have fallen to their ego. They don't want to sacrifice, they dont want to keep contact with their husbands family but also very other problems stemming from mostly about taking and deeming every inconvinience as unfairness. This might come from feminism, idk.
Women usually come with "Your mom did this to me" and when you ask "why do you think she did that", just searching for a solution, makes women more frustrated, they will say this and that but what they are actually saying is "I dont care who is right or wrong, you should think I am right and not the other side and I will convulute, distort and diffuse this topic til you dont know where to stand on this and the only thing you can stand with is who manipulates the situation better" of course this can happen from moms to but its way more normal with the wife.
So, in the end, its not about just saying whats true, women get emotional to the point where literally, truth doesn't matter. I think its way more fundemental to learn how to handle this, how to handle this emotional state women get into. Some psychologists like the one who wrote, men are from mars and women from venus suggests to just listen to your wife when they have problem, but this, honestly, never works, because in these situations, its not about venting out, its about you, in the end agree to what she says. Or maybe it is possible to teach her when she is calm idk, Maybe the solution for it is "be blatant and open with the truth" but honestly, I dont think it is.
There is a reason women are described as a rib in our deen,leave it and it will stab you in the lungs, bend it and you will crack it. You have to always pay attention to it and respect it and keep it in the middle. Not too much force not too little. So just being autistically stubborn on whats right and just smash through the wall with it, its more about subtleness.
Its an education process, our wives better us in our menly weaknesses and we have to educate them in the problems they don't see.
Great comment bro
Why must it always be a wife who sacrifices for the sake of everyone else? Your comment is so sexist may allah guide you.
@@Kay35253 may Allah guide you too. The fact that you react this way to something obvious about women is like me reacting “wow, that’s sexist against men” if someone said men have a tendency towards sexuality and look at women or that we are to Cold and emotionless. These are facts about genders that all cultures in the whole world accepts. What feminists tries women to think is “no, it’s not wrong or bad from you to be irrational and emotional, it’s not wrong from you to get all the benefits of being a women while not doing your responsibilities”
Men are obliged to not look at women while women doesn’t have the same rule turned around in the same way. Should I call that sexist? Maybe it is. Having traits good and bad from your sex is sexist? Then everyone in the world is sexist
@The Alchemist no idea what your talking about.
Well you certainly are brainwashed it’s the traditional indopak chauvinism . It’s within all cultures to be fair . But it’s not part of Islam.
In your example the wife approaches saying the in law has done some injustice to her. But rather than saying “ what did she do let me hear it”. You blame her by saying “why do you think she did that “. It’s not just an innocent remark as you then suggested “in search of a solution.” If you wanted a solution you would say “let me hear the full story from you, then I will speak to mother politely for her account .
Personally I would say all this is easily avoided by following the advice of shayukh . That is get your own home rented or outright, with a bit of distance, so you can form your own family without these problems.
It’s not a case of the wife against the in law or disobedience . Or versa with the evil in laws . Think about it for a minute . A woman runs her own home how she likes for 20 yrs + Then her son is married and a new woman enters the home. In her eyes this woman is taking her place . She wants to control the running for her household. Naturally she will feel threatened . Naturally she will have her way of doing things and the wife will have her own way . The wife will also want to have a share in the management of the home because naturally she wants to make this her home and has been asked to live under this roof. So this butting of heads is to be expected . Avoid it all keep good relations with your parents and wife by having your own home!
That's why Islam is beyond peace