This was wonderful. I have never heard it put quite this way, before. This is a silly example, but one of the insults hurled at me by a family member has left me perplexed for years. She screamed at me, out of the blue, that she 'knew I thought she was a bad cat and dog mom!' It stunned me and I stammered to defend myself, as I had never thought that thought, nor had I ever said it to her or anyone in our family. I tried to circle back to it when she was calmer but she kept repeating it to me, even putting it in text messages and emails from time to time. Now I realize those are her own insecurities b/c she has to leave her pets home alone to work full-time. This is an excellent technique I will use moving forward, especially when my own failings are pointed out to me.
Since I've stopped judging and criticising myself I automatically stopped judging and criticising others🤭 my life became a better, easier and more peaceful place to be 🤗
You literally have me in tears I now understand all the critics that came from my own family we're based on how they felt of themselves of thank you Kenny
Perfectly said. They cared so much about you and felt so safe with you that they shared their deepest darkest most broken parts of themselves with you. They made it sound like it was all about you but in fact it was all about them! You are free😁
@@kennyweiss Almost unbelieve-able. I was just about to type the same thing basically. When I heard that tears immediately hit my eyes. YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW when the rare GEM pops up that you have been searching for a long time appears. Beautiful!
Laura Huxley wrote book called "You Are Not The Target". Years ago . . . It touched me deeply. What you are saying in your videos is touching me deeply also. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. 🎉
Kenny thank you. I think this is key to helping my boyfriend who had a narcissistic dad and lacks insight and empathy (not completely, he wants to be good and so I keep on trying). Sometimes it's one step forward and 3 steps back. It's hard to deal with and I'm at a crossroads. I hope I can help him with this. If not I will have to walk away. But thank you for making me truly understand the inner workings of this. This is my last ditch effort at saving this poor little tortured soul. 💗 You are doing good work. I appreciate you.
I understand the criticism and how it reflects what is inside. I've noticed an issue with self preservation after knowing this, though. I dont get offended or angry, when others would. I have spent too long in situations that were not nourishing, because I get that it has nothing to do with me.
Yes, your absolutely Right 😀 I don't handle people Stupidity well. It gets under my skin. But, it's helpful. I just turn it around & use it back at them.😊 your topics are so Amazing!! Thanks Kenny for sharing this topic 😊
Kenny, I am so fortunate that you came into my feed over a month ago. I finally found another who believes what I believe. Btw you expressed this eloquently! God Bless!
I once had a sort of spiritual experience where I was watching a CZcams movie reviewer I enjoyed as a kid. And he was talking about this film from his childhood, and I realized that every over reactive insult towards this movie was him expressing his resentment and anger towards his awful father. So I feel that expression of negativity can’t always be an expression of your judgement of self. It can be you expressing things about another person that for whatever reason you can’t bring yourself to do, so you place it on another person as an avatar.
I guess what I am struggling with is a clear balance between being truthful about my faults and using affirmations to improve them. How do I say, ya I’m a jerk, without going down a spiral of negative thinking, it’s not okay that I hurt and that I hurt others. I must change my bad habits and behaviors and dwelling on them causes more shame and guilt.
That’s a great question. I have a master class that teaches you exactly how to do that. Here is the link if you’re interested thegreatnessu.com/p/how-to-love-and-accept-your-perfect-imperfections
Now being able to understand why verbal attacks and/or cruel things are said, how do you handle your friendships when insults are made? Do you just continue to “understand” these are their issues and accept what parts might have truth about myself and continue the friendships or do you walk away from each of these people that tend to share judgmental comments? BTW, your videos have been eye opening for me, Thank you,
Hi Michelle, Great question and you're welcome! ;-) There really isn't a black or white answer to your question because it depends on each person's morals, values, needs, want, negotiables, and non-negotiable's. If you go to my codependence playlist look for 3 videos that start with, Codependence recovery: then you will see 3 separate videos on those 3 topics. Those videos are vital for you to be able to answer your question. Once you have those questions answered for yourself then you will easily be able to determine how to go about handling your friends. If their words are still getting inside you, that means you are having an internal boundary failure which would require deeper work and healing. i have masterclasses that move you from that emotional misery to mastery if you decide you want that!
If you go to myself deception/denial playlist you can learn much more. Plus I wrote about all of it in my book, your journey to success there are links to it underneath all my videos if you want to check it out.
Hello Kenny, you are not stupid. Being stupid implies having cognitive deficit and it doesn't appears to be that way, so scientifically you are intelligent. I hope you get to see that in you which is the truth. Yes, I learned that when people criticized me it was not about me but about them. The issue with now with me is that I do not take criticism well at all, there is a balance to it. I hope you have a wonderful evening and if God wills you find a good woman, there are plenty of those out there.
So glad I saw this! Excited to start The online classes at TGU! If this is a taste of what you have to offer, I am getting started tomorrow!! I intend to watch this a few more times!! Blessings 💖
9:57 ...THIS IS SO TRUE .... HE IS HURTING A GREAT DEAL .... THIS IS WHY HE IS DRAWN TO AN EMPATH ..... HE DOESN'T FEEL SAFE SHEARING WITH ANYONE ELSE .... EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW YO SHARE ...... WE ARE FORTUNATE...WE ARE HUMBLE GIFTS TO THE PEOPLE..... JESUS SAID SO
13:10 If true perception is everything, that requires a lot of information to decipher what is NOT being said. So, most of the time, people do not say what they mean.
I can relate to the driving impatience. I can't stand those who drive 10 or 20 under the speed limit. and I have thought I am stupid - so i am looking at that as a cause.
How do you find out what part of your inner child it is you need to heal? And when you find out what it is, HOW do you heal it/yourself? Recognizing it most likely isn't enough.
Great question. They are saying two things that they are unaware of. First of all, they are saying that for them, this is the worst they have ever acted or been in a relationship. They are doing things that go against their own morals and values, needs and wants and negotiable's and non-negotiable's. While they have done that in previous relationships, this is the "wort" they have gone against themselves. Secondly, they are also saying saying the exact opposite of that. The are also saying this is the "best" relationship they have ever had. They won't see that unless they do the work on themselves and gain the knowledge, skills and tools about why we pick relationships and why we create our own pain. If they ever do that they will see that they picked this relationship so that they could put themselves in so much pain that it forced them to seek help and get answers. Once they do that they would learn about all of these things and how they are subconsciously using this other person to relive their unhealed childhood pain to force them to go back and heal it. Do you see how that flips everything around? With new insight and emotional mastery and maturity they would discover the relationship led them to discover their authentic self. What could be better than that! ;-)
@@kennyweiss thank you for your insight! Valuable information. I am grateful for the your response and sharing this knowledge. I am learning so much from you
This was wonderful. I have never heard it put quite this way, before. This is a silly example, but one of the insults hurled at me by a family member has left me perplexed for years. She screamed at me, out of the blue, that she 'knew I thought she was a bad cat and dog mom!' It stunned me and I stammered to defend myself, as I had never thought that thought, nor had I ever said it to her or anyone in our family. I tried to circle back to it when she was calmer but she kept repeating it to me, even putting it in text messages and emails from time to time. Now I realize those are her own insecurities b/c she has to leave her pets home alone to work full-time.
This is an excellent technique I will use moving forward, especially when my own failings are pointed out to me.
Since I've stopped judging and criticising myself I automatically stopped judging and criticising others🤭 my life became a better, easier and more peaceful place to be 🤗
You literally have me in tears I now understand all the critics that came from my own family we're based on how they felt of themselves of thank you Kenny
Perfectly said. They cared so much about you and felt so safe with you that they shared their deepest darkest most broken parts of themselves with you. They made it sound like it was all about you but in fact it was all about them!
You are free😁
@@kennyweiss Almost unbelieve-able. I was just about to type the same thing basically. When I heard that tears immediately hit my eyes. YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW when the rare GEM pops up that you have been searching for a long time appears. Beautiful!
I'm glad you gave me a new way to look at insults.
Laura Huxley wrote book called "You Are Not The Target". Years ago . . .
It touched me deeply. What you are saying in your videos is touching me deeply also. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. 🎉
You're a legend for the way you responded to the "insults" from a viewer. Respect! 👍💯
I appreciate that
Kenny thank you. I think this is key to helping my boyfriend who had a narcissistic dad and lacks insight and empathy (not completely, he wants to be good and so I keep on trying). Sometimes it's one step forward and 3 steps back. It's hard to deal with and I'm at a crossroads. I hope I can help him with this. If not I will have to walk away. But thank you for making me truly understand the inner workings of this. This is my last ditch effort at saving this poor little tortured soul. 💗 You are doing good work. I appreciate you.
Touching.. powerful
I understand the criticism and how it reflects what is inside. I've noticed an issue with self preservation after knowing this, though. I dont get offended or angry, when others would. I have spent too long in situations that were not nourishing, because I get that it has nothing to do with me.
This video is a masterpiece! You deserve a big prize for it! How liberating! Perfectly perfect few minutes! Thank you!!!
You're very welcome!
Yes, your absolutely Right 😀 I don't handle people Stupidity well. It gets under my skin. But, it's helpful. I just turn it around & use it back at them.😊 your topics are so Amazing!! Thanks Kenny for sharing this topic 😊
Kenny… Thank you so much! You have such a gift and understand the human touch so well…
You are very welcome
Aww thanks Kenny! I honestly love everything about what u do and how u explained and genuinely express yourself !
Kenny, I am so fortunate that you came into my feed over a month ago. I finally found another who believes what I believe. Btw you expressed this eloquently! God Bless!
Thank you Sandy and I am happy you found a place where your beliefs are validated.
Great intersection !😊
I once had a sort of spiritual experience where I was watching a CZcams movie reviewer I enjoyed as a kid. And he was talking about this film from his childhood, and I realized that every over reactive insult towards this movie was him expressing his resentment and anger towards his awful father. So I feel that expression of negativity can’t always be an expression of your judgement of self. It can be you expressing things about another person that for whatever reason you can’t bring yourself to do, so you place it on another person as an avatar.
I guess what I am struggling with is a clear balance between being truthful about my faults and using affirmations to improve them. How do I say, ya I’m a jerk, without going down a spiral of negative thinking, it’s not okay that I hurt and that I hurt others. I must change my bad habits and behaviors and dwelling on them causes more shame and guilt.
That’s a great question. I have a master class that teaches you exactly how to do that. Here is the link if you’re interested
thegreatnessu.com/p/how-to-love-and-accept-your-perfect-imperfections
Now being able to understand why verbal attacks and/or cruel things are said, how do you handle your friendships when insults are made? Do you just continue to “understand” these are their issues and accept what parts might have truth about myself and continue the friendships or do you walk away from each of these people that tend to share judgmental comments? BTW, your videos have been eye opening for me, Thank you,
Hi Michelle, Great question and you're welcome! ;-)
There really isn't a black or white answer to your question because it depends on each person's morals, values, needs, want, negotiables, and non-negotiable's.
If you go to my codependence playlist look for 3 videos that start with, Codependence recovery: then you will see 3 separate videos on those 3 topics. Those videos are vital for you to be able to answer your question. Once you have those questions answered for yourself then you will easily be able to determine how to go about handling your friends.
If their words are still getting inside you, that means you are having an internal boundary failure which would require deeper work and healing. i have masterclasses that move you from that emotional misery to mastery if you decide you want that!
This is incredible. I will be researching some of the things I have said about or to people. Thank you 😊.
If you go to myself deception/denial playlist you can learn much more. Plus I wrote about all of it in my book, your journey to success there are links to it underneath all my videos if you want to check it out.
Iblike the way you dress and you decorate great...
Hello Kenny, you are not stupid. Being stupid implies having cognitive deficit and it doesn't appears to be that way, so scientifically you are intelligent. I hope you get to see that in you which is the truth. Yes, I learned that when people criticized me it was not about me but about them. The issue with now with me is that I do not take criticism well at all, there is a balance to it. I hope you have a wonderful evening and if God wills you find a good woman, there are plenty of those out there.
Thank you Rosa😁
Thank you very much. :)
You are welcome!
So glad I saw this! Excited to start
The online classes at TGU! If this is a taste of what you have to offer, I am getting started tomorrow!!
I intend to watch this a few more times!! Blessings 💖
". ....and on Earth Peace Among Men of Goodwill". Luke 2:14 ❤
Amazing!!!
Thanks!!
There are different kinds of insults. What if it's an unspoken insult? Like being ignored?
9:57 ...THIS IS SO TRUE .... HE IS HURTING A GREAT DEAL .... THIS IS WHY HE IS DRAWN TO AN EMPATH ..... HE DOESN'T FEEL SAFE SHEARING WITH ANYONE ELSE .... EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW YO SHARE ...... WE ARE FORTUNATE...WE ARE HUMBLE GIFTS TO THE PEOPLE..... JESUS SAID SO
13:10 If true perception is everything, that requires a lot of information to decipher what is NOT being said. So, most of the time, people do not say what they mean.
I can relate to the driving impatience. I can't stand those who drive 10 or 20 under the speed limit. and I have thought I am stupid - so i am looking at that as a cause.
How do you find out what part of your inner child it is you need to heal? And when you find out what it is, HOW do you heal it/yourself? Recognizing it most likely isn't enough.
Hey your content is pretty good.
Thanks Tracey😁
Very nice 👌👏👏🥰🥰
Thanks 🤗
So if someone tells you “this is the worst relationship I’ve ever been in” how does that reflect on them?
See my reply above
Im speechless……..
So if someone says “ this is the worst relationship I’ve ever been in” how is that reflected back on them or what does it say about them?
Great question. They are saying two things that they are unaware of. First of all, they are saying that for them, this is the worst they have ever acted or been in a relationship. They are doing things that go against their own morals and values, needs and wants and negotiable's and non-negotiable's. While they have done that in previous relationships, this is the "wort" they have gone against themselves.
Secondly, they are also saying saying the exact opposite of that. The are also saying this is the "best" relationship they have ever had. They won't see that unless they do the work on themselves and gain the knowledge, skills and tools about why we pick relationships and why we create our own pain. If they ever do that they will see that they picked this relationship so that they could put themselves in so much pain that it forced them to seek help and get answers. Once they do that they would learn about all of these things and how they are subconsciously using this other person to relive their unhealed childhood pain to force them to go back and heal it. Do you see how that flips everything around? With new insight and emotional mastery and maturity they would discover the relationship led them to discover their authentic self. What could be better than that! ;-)
@@kennyweiss thank you for your insight! Valuable information. I am grateful for the your response and sharing this knowledge. I am learning so much from you
Can you do a video on jealousy, especially in relationships?
I used my ex husband's insults towards me as part of my 4th step inventory.
Are you also on tiktok?
Yes I am!
Ah ha!
READ MY EMAIL PLEASE
I don't believe I have received your email, what were you interested in talking about?