The Myth Of Unconditional Love & The No 1 Reason We Let Narcissists Back In! - Richard Grannon
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- čas přidán 19. 01. 2024
- A little different than my last episodes but I happened to be in town at the same time as one of the most interesting minds out there. I got to sit down with No 1 CPTSD Coach and Expert Richard Grannon. We decided to go deep and unravel some of the most controversial topics. Why do we stay? Why do we leave? Why do we make the choices we make? This conversation will blow your mind!
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@RICHARDGRANNON THANK YOU
If a Narcissist goes to therapy it is to play mind games with the therapist or prove you are the problem.
Nailed it
If you’re afraid to let someone unconditionally love you…
It’s because you’re afraid to truly be seen!!!
And on the other side of the same coin …
If you don’t let yourself be unconditionally loved (warts an’ all)
You never will be!!!!
You can still love someone deeply/unconditionally while staying away from them and having boundaries. The conditions are not on the love you feel, but on your physical/emotional closeness to the narcissistic person
8:20 Sometimes you stay in the relationship because you're waiting for the right opportunity to get the H out, you're getting organized, putting your plan together, and then you'll seize the day. A social worker once said to me, it's at the moment of actual leaving that things get dangerous, that the other spouse might blow a fuse, a fuse that could damage you in a major way or maybe even kill you. Be careful how you plan your exit. It's worth it to be patient and plan well.
Absolutely true! This critical moment inevitably shows up and it takes awareness and firmness to use it. Prepared! If you don't, you're lost.
The level of sincerity here is the antidote
Love is wasted on a narcissist
Very true!
Love is wastwd when it is not returned.
Hi. Thanks for this.
Alone, loneliness.
The mystics teach us where to begin...
" Be quiet, and know that I am. "
I know a few relationships that are genuinely equally respectful, and they are truly beautiful and lovely to be around. It can happen
Very true but there very rare.
My husband has narcissistic traits. He has changed a lot over the decade we have been together. Inviting more friends and family over our house has put more eyes on him. He has shifted. Plus he is over 40 now and everyone we know has slowed down a little.
LookIng forward to this interview. For now, this amazing woman has entered my life. After some very deep conversations I realized when she spoke to me it was her inner child speaking to my inner child. She’s the only one I’ve known to love him and protect him. Now I do the same. I used to hate that little guy for leaving me stranded with no soul, no love. The only remaining task is free him from the prison he accidentally placed himself in. My gf said I have it wrong. He’s been trying to set me free. I love love love her.
I can testify that 21 years of unconditional love - sometimes tough love - will only have the effect of gasoline on a fire over time. Outta there absolutely - no contact 71/2 years and 5 years happily remarried to a neuro normal who knows what love is.
Somedays it's not easy being alone.
Richard is an exceptional human being
that's a verifiable fact is it
That's a question, is it?
the feeling of a loneliness that can often come up in silence , right there with another person you feel very close with ..I think is seeing our mortality and the spirit that isn't . This isnt the loneliness of being alone ; it gives life more meaning . In that living is essentially lonely because we are separate. I think an essential element of a good life because participation becomes sacred in a way . Anyway the conversation was thoughtful provocative. Thanks
agreed
I call bullshit on the concept of unconditional love. My Nex kept telling me that unconditional love was the answer, towards the end of the relationshit. She wanted to be abusive, to lie, steal, and cheat with impunity. Such a psychological shit stew, trying to justify the bad behavior and hide behind the idea that you will stay with someone who is obviously very bad for you, in the name of "love"!? There is no amount of support and love that can help these types. Better to go, and stay gone. Let them sort out their own shit.
I think there’s something between: 1) I will give unconditional love no matter what you do, and 2) I won’t put up with any level of bullshit in the relationship.
@@robhulson perhaps, l just can't find it. Each time I let the bullshit happen, it only gets worse.
They have a gift of turning good concepts on their heads. It’s not the concept of unconditional love, but the shallow understanding of it that causes the damage.
@@HerWanderlust all the shit, without the show.
"relationshit"
Love is an individual Concept your mind made up. An Illusion that blinds you. You're stuck in your fantasy which couldn't be further from the truth. As long as you're not willing to accept this, youre not willing to heal. Been through it.
Wonderful conversation! Thankyou both ❤
So good!! 👏👏
Richard, I think you just nailed it, again! I’ve heard the concept before growing up, that the deep dark hole inside of you is from lack of God in your life, and only He can fill it…But you just explained it so so very well, you made it all make sense, the wonderful gift you have of breaking things down clearly and simplifying things so they can be felt and understood. 🙌 Thank you for this. 🙏 My heavens just opened up.❤️
We just accept unconditional love from God , and this is what happens after long time of doing gratitude ....suddenly u realiz god's unconditional love chemically
Doesn’t a nomadic existence as a single person cause loneliness? We need some sort of tribe to connect to regularly. Whether it’s sports, philosophy etc- shared experience with a common goal
this is a great video 13:37
3rd attempt at my comment after losing 2.Sense of humour needing a rest now.This was a good change though,focusing on the personal manifestation and how to manoeuvre and adapt with narcissistic behaviour in sight. I would love to hear/ read about Richards experience and ideas about how things can work (can they?) on the larger political scale with all the comparative and some seemingly paranoid but actually truthful , some narcy.detail.moving east.
Narkies demand unconditional acceptance as per their conditions. As for codependency it is nothing but vulnerable inverted narcissism
Richy Rich 🙏
Praying for you Richard. I’m not sure what church you were raised in but Jesus is my rock and my refuge. Maybe it was very legalistic and you need to heal from that.
Psalm 62:2 ESV
He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken
Psalm 118:8 ESV
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man
Thank you @kerryholmstrom5952 for pointing that out, I had the very same scripture in mind ! He is my refuge in good and difficult times, it's really comforting to think of the Lord taking care of us, loving us unconditionally, and I think that's where the unconditional aspect of love applies. May God bless you and be with you always
I do believe love is by its nature unconditional, people aren't perfect but love is. Yes we shouldn't make idols of our partners.
But love also requires both parties to co-exist and have healthy boundaries. If someone feels threatened by your boundaries or entitled to have all the power / emotions.
Then they are unable to hold the space to allow a healthy relationship to organically flourish. I don't wish to be consumed, I wish to be loved. Despite being fallible and imperfect.
Think all relationships have BS (Broken Systems) but it's whether you can cope with and navigate each others BS. Without complete narcism or co-dependent dynamics.
You should get better audio equipment. It was hard to hear the speech.
So if you get demanding women because you were expected to give too much as a child, do I attract needy men because i was needed/treat too much like an adult as a child? I can see other people’s situation but not my own
The end part was wonderful about god and true islam not muslim people( i m muslim and people dont do real islam rules and have toooo much SHERK) 👏👏
Even God doesn't love unconditionally. He throws people in hell, 'roughly speaking'. Define and draw your boundaries. It's the only way for the narcissist to respect you and eventually back off.
As a born again Christian in the past … wowdid that set me up for abuse by the teachings of Jesus being misused . Turn the other cheek , pray for those who hurt you . With god all things are possible. Wow if the devil is real it came into that evil shit who almost killed me . Ty
"mark you this Bassanio..the devil can quote scripture to serve his purpose" Merchant of Venice 🙃
Then the churches are full of devil then .
Is estrangement toxic? There is this strong trend happening between adult children and parents
It's way more toxic to stay in contact with ANY abuser including parents than it is to cut ties to the abusers. Just apply the same rules you'd apply to any abuser. It's no different just because you share DNA.
love listening to what richard has to say but the sexy shouldered interviewer thing is silly and distracting. cant watch.
Jesus put Himself in the world in the toughest way imaginable. He did not run away by no means. I love you Richard, but you have it wrong on Christianity in many ways. We absolutely do take refugee in God as well. Thanks for such an interesting interview!
Hes NOT a professional. Hes a bouncer and a failed undergrad who does not understand what he is trying to conflate to every issue in life. Creating a hysteria which is damaging and confusing. Turning speacialist language into terms of abuse only allows abusers to use these terms to continue to abuse and manipulate their partners. Grannon is central in this myth building with little consideration beyond his own benefit. He cant make a luving in the real world....and uses specialistbterms he barely understands to pull people in....this is classic manipulation by a someone with no qualifications! Wake up and use common sense.