Your Parents Don't Deserve This | 5-Minute Videos
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
- The Bible never commands us to love our parents, but it does command us to honor them. So, why have so many adult children decided to hurt their parents in one of the worst ways possible?
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Script:
There is a pandemic in the Western world-especially, but not only, in America-that few are talking about, let alone addressing.
This pandemic doesn't actually kill people. But it does ruin lives, crush families, and cause debilitating pain-far more than most cases of COVID-19.
What pandemic am I talking about? The pandemic of people who do not speak to one or both of their parents.
Why have these people decided to hurt their parents in one of the worst ways possible-to the extent of not even allowing their parents contact with their grandchildren?
There are three primary reasons.
The first is the rise of the therapeutic mentality. Prior to the explosion of psychotherapy, people were governed by “shoulds.” But beginning in the 1960s, the therapeutic model replaced the moral model as the guide to one's behavior. A popular phrase at the time was, “there are no shoulds.”
I will use a family story to illustrate this point. Despite the fact that his mother was a very difficult woman, my father called her every night, and every night she would yell at him. As a child, I heard this, because instead of holding the phone to his ear, my father would periodically place the phone on the kitchen table.
Had my father been born a generation later and told a therapist how much he dreaded calling his mother, the therapist would likely have led my father to believe there was no reason he should talk to her. The therapist would have declared my grandmother “toxic” and given my father “permission” to avoid calling her. A culture that declared, “there are no shoulds,” would have concurred.
But my father lived in the age of shoulds. Moreover, he was a religious Jew who had been taught the Ten Commandments since childhood-the Fifth of which is, “Honor your father and your mother.” And he believed, as did most Americans, that the Ten Commandments were given by God.
In our secular age, the Ten Commandments are largely ignored. In fact, there are no God-given commandments. Instead, you do what you feel is right. If you don't feel like talking to your mother or father, you don't. My father, governed by the Ten Commandments and many other shoulds, called his mother every night despite the fact that he rarely felt like doing so.
A second reason for this pandemic is parental alienation. This is usually caused by one parent against the other during or after a divorce-frequently, though certainly not always, by the mother against the father. She is so angry at her ex-husband that she has decided to hurt him in one of the worst possible ways-by convincing one or more of their children that their father is a terrible human being, unworthy of their love, respect or even time. The children should have nothing to do with him.
View full script: l.prageru.com/4795Kh9
#family #parents #life
Your grandmother was toxic. She had no right to abuse your father. If there is any "should" in that story it is that your grandmother should have been grateful that her son called every day.
Some older people are complainers - but he still
Called - I am
Wondering why he didn’t mention using hand written letters / cards or just a little message some other way- that’s calm and comforting to the parent too if you can’t call
My mother is becoming angry and vindictive like this , and also paranoid. Refuses to help herself yet wants to manipulate everyone else. I will pass on this videos message and enjoy my peaceful life far away from her.
The point in this video went right over your head.
Most kids have no idea what their parents faced or encountered growing up. they only see their parents as parents, instead of having feelings, emotions, and a life prior to being married and a parent. It's not an excuse for bad behavior but having an understanding can help a child adjust their thinking and their support towards the parent(s). Rather than just judging their parents, kids should ask their parents questions and be lovingly interested in their parents and their life experiences. So many parents have unresolved hurt. With respectful and open dialogue, parents can heal and together amend the relationship with their children.
Yes, but no one said he had to be a doormat. He had an obligation to check up on her and keep the connection. He could defend himself and stand firm against her accusations over the phone. Honoring means recognizing our DEBT and OBLIGATION to the persons. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them or worship them or are unable to disagree. But you should have minimum obligations to maintain contact and provide updates and be vigilant. Being inconvenienced and being uncomfortable and being stressed and being annoyed and being irritated are justifications only for the selfish and narcissistic.
I guess I will be judged. My father was abusive and remained controlling until the day he kicked me out of the "family". That was 20 years ago. I'm almost 60 now with two grown loving children that I speak to weekly. From my perspective, parents need to realize that their children become adults and need to be treated and respected as such.
No... that's not what this video is about. Your situation is the opposite. Your parent rejected you.
I had an abusive alcoholic father, as well. He also abandoned us, so I don't see that as being my decision, nor do I carry any guilt. I carry abandonment issues and a scarred psyche, but not guilt...nor should you.
I even tried to find him and re-establish a relationship with a clean slate to begin again, but he turned around and repeated his past behavior.
One of my siblings convinced my elderly mother to reject her other three children completely.; to cut us off. Was that my decision? No! I miss my mother every day, and wonder if she's okay. I've tried to make contact and amends, but I'm rejected every time.
There are some things we can't control, and we definitely cannot control what others decide to do.
God knows the heart.
4:11
"I guess I will be judged" ???
Don’t fall into Lucifer’s trap. He influences all of us (many times, in a subtle way) and no person or movement is safe from him. Do not fall into pride. You’re supposed to be a supporter of a movement which is the defender of the higher good, responsibility and temperance.
I’m talking about people’s tendency to generalize things to make yourself out to be mistreated or a victim. I’m not talking about the story you told. I’m talking about the way you treat “parents” in general from it.
While forgiveness is encouraged, the Bible also acknowledges the reality of justice and accountability. There are consequences for actions, and forgiveness doesn't necessarily negate those consequences!
Nailed it
thank you!
Clearly you have suffered. We all suffer and I am not negating yours, profound as it may be. But I have learned that my Lord, through the Holy Spirit, shows me that my grudge that I hold in my heart, is always with me. And I pray that he forgives me when I ask for his forgiveness, when I won't forgive others. My hypocrisy knows no bounds. So I've learned to say, "I forgive you", even though I no longer love you.
Repenting does though. Honest repentance to the one harmed. Returning evil for evil is not biblical teaching. Unsafe is obviously different.
Ok but what about how a parent "should" not be a burden to their offspring? Having to call an abusive mother every night sounds like unnecessary torture. Like Sidney Poitier said in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, the sacrificing should go down towards the younger generation, so that they have it better, not up. The Baby Boomer generation expect the exact opposite.
It's need some spiritual maturity, and discernment
If you think you're sacrificing for the younger generation, you're missing the whole point. The only sacrifice worth anything at all, and I mean anything at all, is the one made for God (in the name of God) and God alone. The whole point of having scriptural guidance is that He knows better than you what "should" be and what is better for you. You can't sacrifice your efforts to God if you're disobedient to Him.
Lastly, anyone who has spoken to people from places where elders are respected and parents upheld in honor only because they are parents, can name countless benefits of this practice. Particularly because we're all watching in horror as the Western world sinks deeper and deeper into atheistic, isolationist degeneracy.
You know where you can put your 10 commandments? Lol
Thank you for saying this, it's amazing how idiotic this video is.
A parent who's done such a shoddy job raising their kids that they won't even call, has not honored his or her own parents upbringing. My mom's abusive treatment of my brother and I, dishonored my grandfather and grandmother, so she can't really complain about the lack of communication.
You don't have to speak to your parents if they physically abused you. Doing so will often time bring back those terrible memories and cause psychological harm than it's worth.
Dennis said this at 4:10
@@TommyTallNose so again you think that it is ok for them to inflict pain onto their children but the children can’t protect themselves because a parent’s fee fees may be hurt.
@@ms.melissa1384 No, I was saying that Dennis wasn't saying that, and pointing out the part where he addresses that stuff.
Thanks for the strawman.
@@TommyTallNose and then he turned around and basically said that we should call but you don’t have to love them. So again he thinks that you still have to communicate with abusive parents. I mean he even said that his own grandma was verbally abusive yet his own father called her every night so you should too.
Oh, the person that brings up the exception to the rule, as if it was the rule. Welcome.
yeah see, the problem is the statement that the child is inflicting pain on the parent. In cases of abuse, the parent did all of that when they chose to be abusive. everything comes back to us in the end, right? self accountability is a higher mandate. a parent that is horrible to the extent that someone might say they never should have been a parent is sowing the seeds of their own misery in relation to their kids when they abuse their kids.
Short version: why do horrible parents hurt themselves? that's the real question here.
Exactly!
it is truly wild that the "ideological" section is just 'they voted for Trump" as though there is no other reason these crazy kids would ever cut off their parents. People don't stop talking to their parents because they voted wrong; they stop talking to their parents because they have to hear at the dinner table every night about how they're Destroying America by being gay or whatever. Parents who disagree with their children Shut The F*ck Up Sometimes Challenge.
Some parental relationships are toxic. I suffered every kind of abuse you can suffer as a child. The last time my dad tried to hit me, I was thirty. For years, they claimed I was lying and that none of it happened. My dad died almost two years ago and I have slammed the door shut on my mother, best thing I have ever done. The Ten Commandments leaves one out, "Honor Thy Children."
That is because there is not reason to respect your children. What did the children do to deserve respect? For whatever faults they may have your parents raised you, gave you food, clothing, shelter and protection.
Can you really say that you did absolutely nothing to cause your parents grief? Back talking, lying, disobedient, willful , stubborn, disrespectful, or any of 100 other terrible habits? I often find that the fault lies more with the child than with the parent.
@penguinistas You don't know whether or not their parents provided those things, actually. Some people survive despite their parents, sadly.
You did the right thing. The Bible commands "Do not provoke your children to anger." Ephesians 6:4. God knows your mother, your father, and you. Forgive them, but move on in peace. Not repeating their sins honors them and you will have fulfilled the commandment in that way.
@@penguinistashave you ever noticed that the ten commandments are things that need to be told to people not to do- I think God thought parents would have an instinctive knowledge to honor their children so it's unnecessary to be said. But people need to be told not to murder, like they couldn't figure that out on their own. And honoring a father and mother is not for abuse. A true father doesn't abuse and neither does a true mother. No parents deserve praise just because they have kids. Thats a sick mentality. Think of the worst person at your workplace- if they don't have kids, oh terrible person, but if they have kids, oh the kids are supposed to bow down to the narcissistic 20/30 something. Give me a break.
Sometimes, honoring an abusive parent is best done by breaking ties and having another person act as a "buffer zone" who knows how to set boundaries with the abusive parent.
Boomer parents are more likely to be terrible parents. My dad treated fatherhood as a hobby, my mother was a narcissist. I was the scape goat to my mother, the whipping boy to my brother, and punching bag to mom's boyfriend.
Mom knew just enough of the Bible to tell me the God orders me to honor her. I learned more of the Bible and came back with Proverbs 14:1 followed by Proverbs 26:1. Then told her that "I can't, for by her own hand she became a fool, I am not allowed to honor fools". She strikes me acrost the face and I laugh at her and leave. This was a typical confrontation we had. Mom died in December of 2020 and I don't miss her.
I understand this completely
I’m not sure this is true.
Yeah Boomers SUCK! They are largely the reason we have this scourge of leftism upon us, they led the declination of America, easy to mark their timeline
".....These people will be judged accordingly."
Wow, nice thinly veiled threat to end the video on. Very classy, Prager.
By God, not by Dennis Prager.
Dennis is perpetuating the threats of another monster.
The Lord always warns us that there are consequences for our actions. So it is Biblical that we will be held accountable for our sins. The 5th Ten Commandment is to honor thy mother and father. So of course, kids will be judged accordingly.
@deanabossio you look and sound illiterate
Maybe you prefer "what goes around comes around" or "beware of Karma." When you disrespect and punish those that brought you in to this world and put up with your ass..........yeh, maybe the universe will bend your knee in the future. The kind of emotional pain dealt out by ghosting your parent is the worst thing you can do to another human being. This is not deserved. This is emotional terrorism.
You missed it on this one. Why in the world would anyone talk to someone if they got yelled every time they spoke to them?! I could understand if that person had a mental illness but if they're just being an asshole, much like my grandfather, I wouldn't give them the time of day.
This video does NOT apply to abusive parents, as Dennis points out at the 4:10 time stamp. He basically covers the 3 most unwarranted reasons that grown kids cut ties with their parent: 1) Lack of a sense of moral obligation, 2) Children of divorce used as pawns against one parent, and 3) Differences in ideology/politics. Reason #2 is perhaps the most prevalent and despicable. I know many brokenhearted dads whose children's mothers turned the children against them. It's the children who suffer most in these situations, but the vindictive mothers are too selfish to see it.
As one of those child pawns, dads can be vindictive, too. Moms don't automatically corner the market because they have custody of the kids.
... and I know fathers who do likewise, all of it to the detriment of the children. Best to acknowledge that this evil is not exclusive to one or the other. Nor is it in the majority, one or the other, unless there's a study yet unknown.
Yep. Thank you.
He said that you still have to talk them, even if they are abusive.
@@calvinsmyth I'm sorry you suffered through this.
I was speaking from my own experience of people I personally know.
Are there really no exceptions to this rule? My father was very abusive towards me both emotionally and physically. After watching the video, I emailed him after two years without speaking to him. I do not want to be as bad as him and try to get even after all the pain he inflicted on me and my mother. But my question is, are there not any exceptions? What if they commit serious crimes against children? There are some kids living in hell at home. Dads beating their mothers in front of the kids, molesting kids, everything. Where is the line?
I think Dennis Prager addressed this in the last minute of the video "abusive, pathological, evil" parents with which communication is not possible [and not recommended]. Nothing is impossible with God, but God doesn't force people to choose Him. This means that even if you want things to change for the better, if the other party is unwilling to allow God to help them, there is nothing you can do except go on with your life and walk in the light of Who God is
@@williamh7517He said to still talk to them though...
@@williamh7517 Thanks so much for that. I especially love the last line wrote about following God’s path. I think there are parents who are so awful that for your own safety and well-being you need to stay away.
@@paulesp06You're welcome. I really appreciate your thanks!
I cannot express my sorry to hear that. I honestly have no idea how it is like. While I had my share of troubles too, someone I could always look up to and respect was my father
Half my family has cut me off because I'm a conservative and voted for Trump yet we have never discussed politics...just leaked out by someone else.
My father (of blessed memory) was a card-carrying member of the ACLU a life-long (D) who harbored many of the usual attitudes one would expect: A hypersensitivity to any imagined slight to certain minorities, anti-2ndA, pro-abortion, etc. In many ways, he was the typical secular American leftist Jew. And yet, I was the son he reached out to when men with hijab-wearing wives and daughters started moving into the neighborhood. He wanted advice on firearms. I gladly took him out to the range and allowed him to try out several guns in my collection. When he expressed a preference for a particular revolver, I gifted it to him on the spot. I'm so glad he and I managed to get along well enough to maintain our relationship, even though he exhibited many of the Cluster B traits seen in so many left wingers.
What a world their minds must live in
My mother,when visiting,would run down the hall screaming
OBAMA,OBAMA
"What about Obama?"
No Answer
My family didn't discuss anything about anything. I guess I can consider myself lucky that I didn't
@@IComplainBecauseICare I think their minds are too feeble to even imagine imagination
Oh, by the way, my neighbor has technology that scrambles my email and phone calls so
Typical tolerant left.
I understand there are many cases that people cut ties and the issues can be resolved. I think this video is tone deaf to some of us who have actually tried and can’t make it work with a parent. As an adult, you get to choose who you surround yourself with and why would we choose to be treated horribly by our parents if we didn’t have to. Honoring doesn’t always mean having a relationship, when you know if you maintained one you would not be able to be kind to that parent. Distance may be the kindness choice at times.
100%
"would not able to be kind." Pathetic. You can be kind. You just don't want to be. control your emotions and grow up. You can disagree and still be kind/civil.
@@unclebounce1495 😂 you're one to speak 😂 found the toxic parent everybody!
My mother attempted suicide three separate times, taking just enough Valium to make herself sick. It scared me until the third time when she told the emergency room doctor that it was all my fault because I was planning to move out after graduation. I slammed the door shut on her that day. Was this the wrong thing to do? Maybe, but it's done and can't be undone.
It's not wrong by any way.
Narcissistic derange mothers deserved no sympathy. I just wish I have more nerves of steel to feel nothing for mine.
thank you. my mother has also threatened me with suicide because i don't speak to her. she treats me like garbage when i do, so i can't handle it.
Seriously?? Mothers are HUMAN, too, and deserving of the same compassion and grace that is given (more readily, I might add) to males.
Ah. The devouring mother sindrome. Narcisists only love themselves. Not you, not God. They only want attention and they deliberately make themselves sick to get it. Run and don't look back. Lot's wife looked back and we all know what happened to her.
That example at the beginning completely undoes your entire point. That woman is toxic and he was stupid to keep calling her. Part of maturing is learning who to cut out of your life. Sometimes your parents are the worst people in your life, sometimes they are the best - that position can change over time. Keeping toxic people out of your life isn't a "therapeutic" solution, it's a wise and mature thing to do for your sake and those around you who depend on and love you, even if that toxic person you cut out is a parent.
See 4:10 As for the nagging, it´s annoying, but it´s not 'toxic.' Who knows if she was nagging, maybe she bitching about something unrelated to the son. Maybe he´s her go to guy to vent about stuff. Being mildly unpleasant is not a reason to enact what is in fact a very HORRIBLE punishment on one´s own parents. We´re also only seeing a snapshot of one moment here. Maybe at all other times she gets along wonderfully with her son. In extreme cases yeah, sure, cut contact. But relationships require work, even the ones that you happened into by circumstance of birth.
Well said. It’s not a reasonable expectation to think someone will keep putting their hand on a hot stove out of some notion of obligation.
Exactly why it's called the therapeutic method
@@MaitlandJones Spewing negativity at someone every day is toxic. Pressuring someone to listen to something they don't care about every day is toxic.
Another scenario I see quite often is a mother convincing her children that the father is bad then when the children grow up they seek the father to find out it was the mother who was the bitter one after listening to the other side of the story. Then the adult children resenting the mother and never being able to get back time with their fathers.
My mother and her twin sister were the exact same way for their mother. After finding out that their mother was in a mental institution, they began to side with their father later in their lives. When their father passed away about 10 years ago, it hit them hard. I was hit hard as well, knowing that I will never get to hear any more of his wisdom as the young man I am today, and now, like my mother and aunt, I resent my maternal grandmother for the psychotic and manipulative shit she did with me being her final victim.
If my mother starts this trend, I'm equipped to stop her.
@@Spectrum_Country1028 I hear you brother. My mother committed adultery and moved me out of state with her husband. Completely tolerated by the state of America. She talked bad against him. She took steps to keep me away from my father. Once I came of age I went back to live with my Dad and learned the truth that he was a good guy. Now we can’t ever get none of that time back. I don’t speak with my mother anymore.
THIS! My mother divorced my dad in the 90’s. It was very ugly. She bragged she barely let him leave with his underwear. Tried to alienate me and my sister from him. Made up disgusting lies about him. Allowed my little sister to go on a no adult supervision trip with a friend out of state when she was 14 against my dad’s wishes. She was gang raped. She pretended that didn’t happen and emptied our college funds to start a “business”. I joined the Navy to get away. My birth giver rots in a nursing home now and I haven’t seen her in ten years. If they give me her box of ashes after she finally dies, they are going into the nearest porta potty.
I do still talk to my dad.
I can understand your anger. Many may turn away from your misery and resentment... but THIS is a really bad story and it actually happened to you and not just a thriller from NETFLIX. My story isn't great either, but I was saved from this bad turn of events because our government had stricter laws. It may take a long time before you are able to forgive her. But maybe one day you'll be able to at least honor her for not aborting you? Even if she seems to have completely failed as a mother in other ways, you at least owe her your life. For this you can honor her in your heart. And believe me, that's better than suffocating inside yourself with hatred and unforgiveness. @@karenabrams8986
If only. The children usually become "hard-wired" to disrespect the father and NEVER think to even ask the father for his side of the story. Partly because the father refused to bad-mouth the mother when they were with him. So they only GET the mother's side and don't have enough respect for Dad to look past that.
I grew up in an abusive household, even then, I still talked to both my parents. When I had my first child I even let them be a part of their lives. Even when my parents separated.
I stopped talking to my mother, even declare her dead when asked about her, because she tried to, and even admitted to, take my children away from me because she want to raise them. She felt she could do a better job raising my children then she raised us because she changed. I never wanted to hit my mother more in my life. She got DCYF involved, and my children were removed from my care on lies. As a women was broken, as a Jew I couldn't reconcile why, and as mother I felt betrayed. The issues were later resolved and talking to my grandmother she told me the woman who was my mother was gone. I should mourn her. So I don't talk to her, my children believe that she is dead, and they have a healthy relationship with my dad.
My father encourages me from time to time to talk to her but I much as I love my family, I can't bring myself to inflict my mother on them and go through that again.
My mother attempted the same thing; to take my child away from me so she could prove that SHE was the better mother. Even then, all I asked from her was to apologize. I've been waiting 9 years for that apology. The bible tells us to rebuke those who sin against us, and forgive IF they repent. My mother will never admit she did wrong. I honor her by telling my kids stories of her good traits because no one is all evil or all good. When they ask why we don't talk to her I tell them she is in a time out until she can apologize for her bad behavior.
@@j.thomas6470💯
I can completely understand that and have had to protect my children for the same reason. Unfortunately, the word of God is misused to make people feel guilty... God did not canonize parents just because they are parents. I am a mother of five myself and know that you have to fight for every healthy relationship. Honoring fathers and mothers is not a manslaughter argument, it is stupid when people claim that children should honor parents who repeatedly and without feeling sorry for sinning against their children... Many of these children would not grow up if since there weren't other people who would take care of them. For me it was my grandparents. They were not sinless people either, but there is a world of difference. They may have said things they didn't mean out of anger. But there are parents who CONSCIOUSLY want to harm their children because the children do not want to satisfy their selfish desires, whatever they may be. These parents are almost ready to sacrifice their children on the altar of their own narzossism. Even at the risk that the children will be crippled internally and externally and suffer serious psychological damage. I'm not OK with immediately portraying everyone and anyone as toxic. But such a thing really does exist, even if people generally close their eyes to it because they prefer to be left alone.
My parents and I have completely different political views, but that doesn't affect our relationship. Although we are not together, we talk on the phone every day and share every detail of our lives. I am so grateful, it is one of the best things I have ever had in my life.
My mother has BPD. She spent everyday of my childhood telling me that I’m worthless and a traitor. She routinely screamed and through temper tantrums in public. She blew all of her earnings on her addiction and blamed society and other people for her failings. I have no regrets with going no contact.
False. There are so many things wrong with this, Sir. I grew up in church and with the Bible (still a Christian), I am a parent, with abusive parentals as a child/youth. God does not say we "have to talk to our parents" (or anyone else) when abuse is present or persistent. Also, when you become an adult (when one gets married, according to the Bible), the parental relationship is supposed to change by nature in that you are then joined with your partner instead of your parents. Regardless, God's instruction to honor your parents by talking to them even when abuse is present is merely your interpretation and I strongly disagree.
He specifically singled out abuse as an exception.
@@TheKnellBelle He literally talked about his father calling his abusive mother (Prager's grandmother) every day.
Somebody spent more time commenting then listening
@@One_1_11 You have to make that judgement call. It's still up to you. I'm going to assume his father did as much as he felt he could and should do, no more, no less. Prager is saying that if you don't talk to your parents for petty reasons than maybe you should reconsider, with an abusive situation being an exception. There's really not anything to dispute here. If you feel like the interaction is beyond your capacity, don't have it.
You assume "there is abuse present." Kids these days consider a disagreement about "which country is the Greatest" ....as abuse. The example Prager gave was intentionally exaggerated so you'd get the point. But apparently you missed it.
Part of honoring my parents is not submitting to or accepting them sinning against me.
It is not honoring to allow parents to continually sin against their children but to correct them and place boundaries around acceptable communication.
People who are disrespectful, refuse to accept children's boundaries, esp around grandchildren, do not have an inate right to have access to continue to abuse and disrespect.
This seems to be a mistaken belief amongst a large portion of the previous generation. Who think that they are gods and their little families and have a right to do whatever they want, disregarding their children's boundries and appropriate behavior.
While I agree and find it absolutely ridiculous. That families are not talking to one another because of their political beliefs. When boundaries are continually ignored and trampled, reduced contact is an appropriate consequence until they show theycan be respectful.
I get it, somewhat. No one’s perfect. Neither are children, just remember that. You’re talking the therapy talk. There’s lots of reasons why children get mad at their parents but cutting them off is just cruel.
Marilyn.... previous generations were much more busy trying to survive. Many moved far away from their parents and there was no way to connect. Now our world has everyone on their front step and the previous generation has an entitlement issue with that. We have cut off parents after they hid our child, tried to control our married decisions, forced themselves into our home after being told no and refused to see a counsellor to work through appropriate boundaries. Their response we are your parents you are to obey us. ...nope We are married and have left and cleaved. No obeying from here on out.
The whole reason the left even exists is because a good chunk of parents for the past 50 years have been absolute failures at being parents. Very few parents will go the distance and be fully responsible for their children, the rest seem to treat their children like possessions. Parents can get abusive as well as negligent, how many conservatives even acknowledge this in the first place? Every child deserves parents but not every parent deserves children.
If the conservatives want to make an impact, they need to address the problem of irresponsible parents, and take it extremely seriously. The left are actively showing us that they are anti-children, this is the opportunity for conservatives to score.
"correct them"
When did it become okay for a child to "correct" the parent.
That is contrary to family order and is precisely the root of this problem.
It disrespectful AND dishonorable.
Yes.
No, if a parent has a long history of physical, sexual and verbal/emotional abuse, why SHOULD a they be in your life? This attitude only helps to enable their abusive behaviour. I don’t think it is a sin to just back away from toxic and abusive behaviour.
👏 👏 👏 👏
I agree. I understand where Dennis is coming from, but it is clear that he has no concept of degree of actual torment some monstrous parents inflict upon their children.
There is no way God intended the commandment to apply in such situations.
Amen
I don’t agree with cutting off parents for silly and selfish reasons, like politics, or you can’t be bothered, or even if your partner doesn’t like them. I don’t like self centredness. However, having an abuser in your life is just exposing yourself to pain and torture, and while I know how keeping your grandkids away can be extremely painful, it seems to me, it is a real sin to not protect your kids from that behaviour. Also, I know that when abuse is prevalent in families, the whole family can gain up on you just for speaking out and telling the truth about things. I know,this,from experience. Yes, parents have right, but so,do,their children. Abuse, to me, is a total dealbreaker. And it is NOT a selfish to leave the situation, what’s worse is to just sit back and take it for the vain hope of “acceptance” of the abuser and the family.
@@unclesamsniece2064 Cases of abuse are not "the exception". Cases of abuse are the majority.
I see nothing wrong with cutting ties with parents if they are abusive in any way shape or form or exstreamly toxic even after you have spoken to their about their behaviour.
"Mom gave more money to Jimmy for Xmas" boo-hoo......Grow up Jimmy! Your whining still has no power. If you wish to lose your Mom over this, then you will be at fault and you will suffer the consequences more than she. Everything is "Abuse" to you children.
I disagree with Dennis here. I had such situation once because one of my parents made an absurd conflict out of nothing and I did say I won't come on next occasion and I did keep my word. Result? A change in behavior. This is basically Jordan Peterson's advice: LEAVE toxic people, even your own parents. My situation improved so I came back. I'm not going to honor someone who doesn't honor me.
Ephesians 6:4
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Honor parents who are not provokers.
Well what if your own father tried to kill you when you when you were 15 years old? And you had to live with your grandma for 5 years until she died of brain cancer and then be homeless for 2 years. And your dad happens to be a sociopathic narcissist, and abuses his new wife (my stepmom) takes drugs everyday and forces her to work 7 days a week to support him, he refuses to work, just wants to sleep all day and take adderall and xanax. And then when my stepmom talks about getting divorced because she cant take it anymore, he threatens to off himself. Why on earth would I let someone like this have contact with me, who was, and still is abusive, and psychopathic with no remorse. I am a fan of Prager U, but this video is speaking too broadly without context based on one's own personal life experiences. People don't separate from parents for no reason whatsoever - there is alwaysna reason why.
This video is the worst possible recommendation to a family member, especially a wife, who is living with or has endured abuse. Not every American family reflects The Brady Bunch.
Sure... but some people do for futile reasons thinking they're actually experiencing the same pain and struggles you have... and, they aren't. I know a few situations like that...
He doesn't mean you. Dennis Prager is absolutely right that this has become a huge problem. All parents do shitty things to their kids. Thoughtful grown offspring should be able to distinguish between continuing a relationship with a flawed person who has caused some hurt to his or her child in the past versus not continuing a relationship with a sociopath.
There's no option to give two thumbs up so I'm giving it here. Two thumbs up
prager: taLk tO hiM aNyWAy
It is so incredibly clear here that Dennis Prager does not understand how a healthy relationship between a parent and child should look. He even gives us a reason why, and it makes perfect sense: He could hear his grandmother treating his father with hostility even though he did his best to be a good son and reach out every day.
Dennis paints a very clear picture here of generational trauma and how it can affect kids who are put through it.
Precisely. Prager effectively demonstrates his ignorance and unawareness on the core problems and the entire topic as a whole. He's able to see only symptoms, of unqualified child conception and ineffective parenting. From the beginning btw, with the purported "pandemic" affecting the "western world" .. I won't go into detail, but that's just naive/uninformed.
If only Gabor Mate were to see this video...I can imagine his feedback.
This video should have been about declining family values which is the parent's responsibility to instill.
This is a BS comment … you have no right to spew this crap!
Family peace should always be sought for. Take a short break if necessary but keep trying to keep peace. Never demean your parents to your children.
Hmm only problem with the "should" mindset seems to be that you just allow unhealthy and abusive behavior even if its unwarranted or wrong? I agree to honor your father and mother but to allow any human being to treat you poorly and just take it is nuts irregardless of their title
LOVE and HONOR are not the same thing.
Some parents deserve it.
I was lucky enough to have a good relationship with my parents. More good times than bad times.
You must always love your parents. But you don't have to like them. My mother has a gambling addiction. She gaslights and guilt trips her children to get money from them. I flat out refuse. She says i dont love her. But the truth is, i do love her. Hence my refusal to give her the money she asks for while i endure all the vile words she spouts onto me. Always love your parents.
Ok and what if your father tried to kill you when you when you were 15 years old? And then you lived with your grandma for 5 years until she died of brain cancer and then your uncle and aunt kicked you out of the place because they wanted to loot her wealth and assets, became homeless for a few years until I got things together. And to this day my dad still abuses drugs, is a stimulant addict and addicted to Xanax, threatens to off himself if my stepmom leaves him, and she's forced to work 7 days a week 12-14 hours a day doing physical labor just to make ends meet because he refuses to work because he pretends to be "disabled and suffer PTSD" even though he doesn't have any. He wears shirts that says he served in the navy and army, and bought fake medals and badges off ebay and pretends to be an ex soldier, he is mentally ill as hell. Why on earth would I wanna be anywhere around someone like this??
@@chrisvids7105you don’t have to have him in your daily life. Be honest, stand your ground, and let him go is the only and best thing you can do for him. THAT is love
@@chrisvids7105 Your case scenario is not the same child/parent division as the woke child/conservative parent craziness. Cutting out a toxic hurtful person from your life is different than gutting someone because they don't think like you.
You still hold love for your mother, but she has no concept of what it is to love you. Regardless of what she says about her love for you, her actions speak otherwise. You can offer to get her psychiatric help and support her if she accepts that help and you can hope for a better day on the other side of her recovery. If she refuses to accept your help, there is no reason to have her in your life.
Yeah it confused me greatly when he said that "God never commands us to love our parents".
God commands us to love our neighbor and EVEN the stranger, why on Earth would that omit our parents?
Finally something I disagree. I have a very good relationship with my parents, but this is because they are good people. But there are evil parents, I am not convinced they feel pain.
Avoid those people even if they are your parent.
No child deserves to be abandoned by their parents. But there are MANY parents who deserve to be abandoned by their children. Sorry, PragerU. Just gotta be real.
Yes, but many of these dumb kids are cutting off their parents in a manner that is not justified. They cut them out for foolish reasons, abandon family and loyalty, and have contempt and hate because they believe differently. Kids can act like psychos too. Kids are staying kids and refusing to grow up and learn to get along. Don't pretend like all these parents deserve this. Not all parents are bad, but no parent is perfect. The problem is, no one talks of reconciliation, grace, mercy, and the value of forgiveness. Not only this but much of what is called abuse these days is nothing of the sort.
@@JusticeReignsThere is no such thing as a terrible child. Only a child with terrible parents. It all starts with the parents. Children are innocent. Victims of circumstance. Yes, some children abandon their parents unfairly. But there are FAR more parents who abandon, neglect, bully, harass, assault, and even k;ll their own children! Some parents deserve to be abandoned.
(And it seems that either CZcams or PragerU is trying to shadowban my comments).
Many children deserve abandonment, as they believe they are smarter than their parents, which they woefully are not.
Agreed!
@@jamesocker5235 No child deserves to be abandoned. If a parent abandons their child out of spite for the kid thinking they are "smarter"....that parent has an ego problem.
In general I agree with the premise, by Prager's story of his father was kinda silly and unconvincing. Firstly, the Bible also says "and parents, don't exacerbate your children," which his grandmother was clearly doing by yelling so much. Second, Picking up the phone and letting her yell on and on isn't honoring her, it's humoring/placating her (like a typical momma's boy).
wouldn't the honoring thing to do be to confront her, let her know her behavior is unacceptable, and give her a chance to improve herself. sure, it might cause her pain, but isn't that real loving thing to do?
Leaving the phone on a table doesn’t really count as speaking to your mother. You have accidentally proven the opposite of what you are saying.
We’re commanded to love one another, which includes our parents, so the command to love them does exist. But in this world we have parents that are physically, verbally, emotionally abusive to their kids which often affects their development and view of God as well. Obversely, children can have great parents but yet be dishonoring and go astray also. My mom always has worked hard and provided for us, but she has been verbally and emotionally abusive as well over time. I’ve had to learn as a follower of Jesus how to keep myself in a guiltless position and continue honoring her in those times, so that I could honor Christ. Frankly, I think a video regarding the pandemic of abusive parents is also justified to be created, since the command to not exasperate your children comes right after Paul mentions to honor our parents in the Bible. Additionally, a son shall leave their father and mother and cling to his wife…which doesn’t mean complete abandonment of parents, but you now have your own life and family separate from your parents.
I don't talk to my dad because he's dead. i don't talk to my mother for her safety. I have not hurt her, but the last time i was around her i discovered there is something in me that would if i let it. She has always been abusive, neglectful, and selfish to the point of near narcissism. Turns out some part of me hates her for that. There is no point in putting her at risk until i've dealt with that. I don't imagine your grandmother ever broke a solid wood broom stick over your dad's head when he was a toddler.
Perhaps your task is to learn to control that, and being no-contact with her is allowing you to avoid that learning challenge and the resultant personal growth.
Soo sorry you had that experience.
Respect/honor can still include appropriate boundaries.
Example:
If you would like to speak in a peaceful way, you’re welcome. You still have to take off your muddy shoes to come in the door. It’s really their choice. Remove shoes (shouting) to come inside (maintain contact) or stay outside (un-contacted) and maintain the right to keep muddy shoes (shouting).
This one hits hard. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was in the Army and through phone calls and letters a few of my elder siblings convinced me that my Dad was the bad guy (even though my Mom, a good woman, told me to forget all that and reach out to him). I didn't listen. Later in my enlistment I came home on leave and went back without calling on my Dad. My older sister later told me he was very hurt that I didn't at least come say Hi. I was devastated. I loved my Dad and I realized how selfish and stupid it was not to come see him, and after all the incredible sacrifices my Mom told us he made raising us. Terrible. On my next trip, I went to his home before visiting anyone else. He was happy to see me, I was the happiest man on Earth, and we had a good time with me pouring out my new adult issues and him imparting his great wisdom.
He is gone now, but I'm glad that I wiped the slate clean and enjoyed my Dad for his remaining years.
This is a tough one for me, I do understand the need to still have a relationship with your parents, even if they weren’t perfect, but I don’t think you should be under any obligation to give them the time of day if they’re just going to tear you down. At the same time, never let political differences destroy your family no matter what political affiliation someone in your family has.
I just lost my mom last week. She was not always pleasant to be around. She told me once she loved me but didn't like me. There were times that I wanted to sever ties with her, but I didn't because I loved her and hoped for a better relationship. I am so glad I didn't sever ties. The last 5 y ears of her life she became more kind and loving to me. Now that she is gone I do not have any regrets. She was not perfect nor am I. I already miss her terribly. Please mend relationships, you never know when they will be gone.
So, if others are evil and abusive, adult children should still "call them". I hope he will explain why. Also, it says to honor them, not to "call them", in the bible. Why the substitution?
"shoulds" are simply ways to allow the evil to prey on the vulnerable. The evil don't care about "shoulds". But the good do, and suffer pointlessly because of them.
Perfectly stated. Thank you.
Nobody "should" allow themselves to be a door mat.
Ayn Rand called it "the sanction of the victim" and modern day we call it "enabling". Other people will use your company to validate their actions and assuage their own doubts/guilt. Parents are no exception.
I talk to my parents, but realize some parents are not healthy to be around. For example, abusive parents, or manipulative parents who just take and take.
Agreed
Calling your mother every night as an adult male is way too much. Maybe once a month. But I'll agree with the principle of speaking to your parents often and with respect.
As your mother ages, the phone calls need to increase in frequency, especiallyif she lives alone.
If you are an only child, the responsibility will fall on you to call her daily to be sure she hasn't fallen, gotten sick, or worse. She fed you every day - is it really too much to ask to check up on her every day?
@@janeyount8412 That only works if your mother isn't a 52 year old, alcoholic, crack addicted prostitute that lives in a tent under an overpass.
Yikes! Every night? Ew. Someone did not keep their vows to "therefore shall a man leave his father and and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh." Maybe councelling?
@@cl5193 I think she was old and needed checked in on.
@@Melissa-gn3dvIf she had grandchildren, she was old.
Thanks for that video Mr Prager. I also don't call parent very often. Not out of spite, but because I usually forget to do so being too carried away by day to day life. But this is not an excuse. I have to call them. Thank you for reminding me.
I was adopted and I love the people who raised me but the people who procreated to have me in the world really are evil and manipulative and I hate them
*Honoring one's parents is NOT a one-way street, Mom & Dad have responsibilities to their children also; not meeting such responsibility* _(e.g. mistreating one child upon the death of another, the surviving child's sibling)_ *is a good method for driving away one's kids and making certain they keep quiet.*
I am grateful to have been corrected into deleting an earlier comment of mine in which I claimed Dennis recognizes there are extreme cases in which it is simply impossible to remain in communication with an abusive parent, and that he is only generalizing in this video. I was pointed to timestamp 04:12 showing this is not the case.
I am consequently confused by Dennis' stance, then, because i cannot see how it is honoring a parent whose behavior is absolutely wretched to enable that parent to continue behaving wretchedly. In the example of Dennis' own father, which he himself offered for consideration, his father enabled his mother to behave wretchedly toward him for years and never gave her incentive to improve her communication. I myself believe that while one might give one's parents a ton of latitude due to one's gratitude for the care he or she received over the years, that latitude should not extend to outright harm -- not only for one's own sake, but for the parent's sake. How can the parent become a better person if the child says, "It's okay for you to treat me badly"? (Note that it is highly unlikely the parent would ever treat anyone else in this fashion, so it's not that the parent lacks the self-control necessary to curb his or her speech into a more civil mode.)
One may not know how to improve communication, but cutting communication short is not by all means the way to do it.
@@liviasilveira1 It could be if the other party shows no interest in improving. "Look, Mom, I love you and want to have a relationship with you, but if all you're going to do on our calls is criticize and berate me, we're going to have fewer calls."
"... it's not that the parent lacks self-control..."
Exactly. Given a public environment full of witnesses, such a parent exhibits self-control, kindness, humility, & calmness. But, given a private environment containing others' belongings, it will be THOSE belongings that are destroyed, and not the belongings of the rampaging parent AND the parent will berate & cuss and a mean blue-streak while doing so.
Edit ... cuss a mean, blue-streak ...
Cases of abuse are not "the extreme exceptions". Cases of abuse are the majority, as you can see from the comments.
This is how you pass this toxic behavior onto your kids. Boundaries are good, especially if you're parents are shit.
He literally looks on the verge of tears like it’s his children that don’t want to talk to him anymore.
You are right in that it is a punishment/act of cruelty I wouldn't wish on anyone. We have a middle daughter who won't speak to us. Why, you may ask? I honestly can't tell you. One day things were fine, the next we were cut off. No discussion, no opportunity to express concerns and try to work it out. Nothing. She just up and decided she wanted nothing to do with her family anymore. I pray God breaks through that barrier because we can't. And I pray for any of you going through the same thing with us; He will see us through. He always does.
If an adult child has a grievance with their parents, they ought to bring it to their attention.
My experience with this has been met with defensiveness, excuses, and a failure to recognize the truth of the past.
This led to a time without speaking with them. Since then, we have been on a path of repairing what was broken.
Honoring one’s father and mother does not mean being complicit with their sin.
Then "parents" shoud treat their children with the same dignity and respect they want to be treated with.
Denis Prager is right. We must preserve family as a foundation of our society. Today, family is seriously threatened by postmodern ideology. Lets preserve our historical and traditional values. Lets protect our families.
You treat a child like they are unworthy of your love, respect or time and then you’re absolutely shocked when they treat you the same way.
I normally resonate with these prageru videos but this is a hard miss, I don't believe in enabling garbage behavior regardless of who it is. Your reward for how you raised your child is your relationship with them when they become an adult.
I don't think you got it. Not all faults have the same gravity. There are kids not talking to parents because they voted differently. That's insane.
@@liviasilveira1 sure but thats not me, I'm talking people who blatantly abuse or mistreat their kids and expect something nice back from them
Sure! I respect your trauma. But I really think the point of the video is to call upon the fact that abusive parents are being used as a standard to judge all sort of misunderstandings between parents and kids, just as sexual arrassment, racism, misogyny and other topics have been distorted by progressists despite their genuine gravity. It's happening again with the new trend of characterizing anyone who doesn't act according to a very specific spectrum of behavior as narcissists and subsequently leading people to systematically follow the advice of cutting contact, even if it's your closest family. OFF COURSE there will be real abuse cases where it applies. But it seems to me as they're just too common these days.
@@liviasilveira1 yeah I get that, if your parents didnt abuse you or rape you or beat you then you should get over yourself and talk to them lol
I’m sorry Mr Prager, but while I do agree that one should have a good relationship with their parents even after they leave the nest, there are times when that is just not possible.
I am lucky to have a parent who, while she will not tolerate any trouble I make, will always have my back no matter what. There are many who are not as lucky and for those people, completely breaking away from their abusive parent is the only way they can heal and become better than those evil people.
Parents are much easier to deal with, once you have actually become an adult.
Truth. It is cruel for kids not to talk to their parents. A girl down the street from me had very controlling parents and later I found out they were alcoholics. She didn't find out why until she was an adult. They experienced horrible atrocities in Germany in WWII. I make no excuse for alcoholics but just knowing in general that parents were once kids and had an imperfect childhood and maybe even childhood trauma, helps to forgive and find peace with each other before they all die. I have another childhood friend whose dad left their mother with 7 kids. Why? He never wanted kids. He went on to marry and divorce 5 times, twice to the same woman, no more kids. My friend's 4 brothers had nothing to do with their dad. The 3 girls kept in touch with the dad from time to time. Finally, when he was dying of cancer he told them about his childhood. His father divorced his mother and got custody of him. He loved his mother and kept running away from his dad to be with him mom. The 3 girls forgave their dad and found peace with him and took care of him in his last days on earth. Of course, there is no excuse to abandon their mother with 7 kids, one still in diapers, but the Lord compels us to forgive as it frees bitterness from taking up rent in our hearts. Even if the parent doesn't know we forgive them isn't even important. The Lord knows and He is who we will all answer to. Kids who don't know their parent's story, we parents all have one, simply don't know their parents. And kids who don't forgive will be judged more harshly than the "bad" parents. My parents were far from perfect and made many mistakes but I still loved them and talked to them regularly. I can honestly look back and feel blessed I did not block them out of my life and loved them to their very ends. I am grateful for this video. I just pray it is updated to reflect that there are more narcissistic dads who succeed in turning their kids against the mother then moms turning kids against their dads. I pray for salvation for my kid's dad, he who bad-mouths me to my kids every.single.day.
You must be at the receiving end of this😂
"The Good Lord said that you were to _HONOR_ your father & mother…He never said you had to _LIKE_ them." 😆
What about the idea that a mother should find in herself the capacity to stop being nasty while talking with her son? Both have an obligation to each other.
Um no screw that. My mom pulled a knife on me, threatned to kill me, threw me out of the house multiple times in the middle of winter and tried to sabotage my marriage. When i stopped talking to her everyone said oh poor her and "shes so upset" and my personal favorite "oh shes in biblical counseling now" even though it was the 100th time shes been to "biblical counseling" and nothing ever changed. She wasnt upset because her son wouldnt talk to her. She was upset because it made her look bad.
You know what did make her change? Take a guess. Church? No. Prayer? No? Counseling? NO! What got her to calm tf down and back tf off and respect my boundaries was going NO CONTACT for 3 years. Thats what did it. Deep down shes still the same person she always was. She just does a better job at hiding it because she knows there is consequences to her actions. Still not a great dynamic but its way better than what it used to be.
Oh btw its too bad your dad didnt see a therapist because apparently everyone in your family thinks its ok for a parent to verbally and mentally abuse her child. If thats how you want to live then fine. But dont be lecturing me as if youre on some moral high ground. Youre not! You dont know the abuse of what i or hundreds of thousands of people had to deal with coming from an evil parent!
My 82 year old father told me to get out of his house and never come back because I suggested we should vote for Donald Trump becsuse he was an outsider and maybe it's time for it.
You described my mother of blessed memory (your grandmother). I did what your father did for many years, 1-2x a month. It was one of my Shoulds. I did not have his moral courage to call every night.
I was a part of the mother who painted my father as a bad person. Later I learned that he really was a bad person, but he loved us kids a lot. He's currently in prison for more than 25 years. He did a lot of crazy stuff in front of me and siblings.
What did he do if I may ask? Thanks
I fail to comprehend how a father that supposedly loves his children would follow a despicable lifestyle or do the "crazy stuff" in front of his children. You have to judge people by their actions, not by what they say. What value would you achieve by initiating or continuing a relationship with this person? None!....only heartache.
@@chrisgraham2904 I hear you. I lived among people who loved the dog that they had chained up 24/7 in their yard.
@@chrisgraham2904 he had pretended to be a part of the military, had illegal guns, asked my sister for illegal substances that could have had her investigated or arrested. Made an illegal homemade bomb to kill someone. He's a good dad though. You're totally right.
"Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Colossians 3:21 KJV
THE BIBLE DOES SAYS HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER SO IT MAY GO WELL WITH YOU AND HAVE A LONG LIFE.
Honour not obey as adults. When you get married your husband is supposed to be the head. How do you "honour" both in-laws and your husband if you are meant to obey them all. It's impossible . You can still honour someone while saying no.
Dennis wrote in his "Rational Bible" commentary that the reward applies to the life and health of the nation, not necessarily the individual. A nation that honors its parents will be long-established, due to its appreciation for their wisdom.
@@MichaelJPartyka The vast majority of people do enjoy a good relationship between parents and children. The general health of the nation on this point is doing well. Dennis is raising an issue, where no issue exists.
@@chrisgraham2904 I would say the issue of children disowning parents for political views is likely an issue, at least as an extension of people disowning people for political views generally speaking. (I was myself disowned by a friend to whom I'd even given some charitable aid when he found out I'd voted for Trump.)
The Bible does not only say "Honour thy father and thy Mother" - it also says "Parents, provoke not thy children to anger" (Colossians 3.21 KJV)
Placing the phone on the table is hardly respecting someone.
Speak to people who bring joy into your life. Not everyone are suited to be parents
Prager: So you’re saying that you emotionally, verbally and spiritually abused your kids for your years?
Parent: Yep
Prager: And you need to me to help you justify your actions?
Parent: Yep
Prager: Hmm. That’s stretching my ethical boundaries too much.
Parent: I’ll give you $5
Prager: Bet.
Sometimes parents are irretrievably damaged so they cannot be “fixed.” They may have perpetrated terrible physical and mental acts against you, to the point that you MUST not actively communicate with them.
It may cause you to “revert” to a damaged mode where you actually have nightmares, if you try.
I guess I’m suggesting a “middle ground.” Perhaps just let them know you are still “alive.” Perhaps a greeting card on Mother or Father’s Day.
“I am OK. Hope you are too. Maybe someday, after you get active counseling and give up your addictions, we can talk. Let me know if you are open to this. Otherwise it is difficult for me to start now. But I am open to trying if you do your part.”
Sanjosemike (no longer in CA$
Honor thy Father and thy Mother - Exodus 20:12
The problem is that we all want to be like God. We want to be the center of everything and hate when we are not or are called out. So it is easier to cut off those things that remind us of our true standing. We do not treat others as we want to be treated because they don’t deserve it. We don’t do the things we should because we care more about ourselves and our happiness then others. What a sorrowful state the modern world has fallen into. We don’t teach morals, basic right from wrong. We don’t teach forgiveness. And then we wonder why so many are not truly happy and need to be on medication and see therapist. God’s law or chaos.
God's law says to get away from diabolical people.
If children must honor their parents, then shouldn't parents also honor their children? Like, what about parents who cut off all communication with their children?
My response is to reason #1. It's not surprising that Mr. Prager would stand by the way he was conditioned to, believe, think, feel and act. Luckily generations after his have become aware that accepting / supporting abusive behaviour only continues the generational patterns of abuse. We need to consider the future generations and how we can support them to ensure these patterns that Mr. Pragers generation and those before considered normal and acceptable ways to raise children. They are neither. We owe nothing to the peole who forced life onto us. No child asks to be born so owes no one for the responsibility of life thrust on them. The belief children owe parents anything is an outdated idea. Parents owe it to their children to make the changes necessary in themselves to not transfer their trauma onto them. If they don't make the effort to do so they don't deserve their children to try and have compassion for them.
So you’re suggesting we stay in abusive relationships. Nope.
Dennis' father frequently broke the commandment not to cover another woman. He seemed shameless about it.
I have a sister like that, now her two kids don't talk to her.
I pray that PragerU recognizes that this phenomenon is an indictment of parents and not their children.
Before you reply just remember that as a Gen Z kid I won’t
-Be able to afford a house in the neighborhood I grew up in
- Will not receive an inheritance due to never ending medical bills and selling of childhood home for a condo in a retirement community
- was given advice my whole life that lead me to be woefully unprepared for the problems my civilization is experiencing.
- Getting taxed and out voted by people who are 2x my age so i never get representation in the system I generate wealth for
- and all the above is something I am expected to accept and get shutdown for complaining about.
I have 3 estranged daughters, so this video absolutely speaks to me. Thank you for giving a voice to my pain.
I'm sorry, that really sucks!
And when they need you the most, they’ll all be begging on their knees to come back.
@@kovy689ew, I hope they're thriving. Estranging myself from my parents was the best thing I've ever done. My life is mine, and I have peace
@@lorenmonroe5197 I didn’t know this video was about you…
@vinnyfalcone but when I read your comment, I immediately wonder why you have not one, but three estranged daughters.
Honor is not respect. Respect has to be earned. Honor is something you give because of an obligation. For example, many judges are complete idiots, but in the courtroom, everyone has to honor them so the system will function. Same thing applies to bad parents. I will never be able to respect my later father, but I was able to honor him.
It's like soldiers say: salute the rank, not the man.
I will bless those who bless you, I will curse those who curse you!!!
Probably because some people are just awful. I lost most of my family and friends when I became disabled and then when needed to start a gofund me for a life saving surgery it only got worse. They're cruel and we are much better off without them constantly trying to tear me down. My boyfriend of 9 years has been a complete blessing during all this and I thank God for him every day. If healthcare wasn't absolutely ridiculous our lives would be different but that's just not the way it is now.
I have to disagree. Honoring your parents does not mean you have to tolerate abusive behavior. The jewish man in that video should have told his mother that he would like to talk to her as long as she is not verbally abusive to him. I would not expect anyone to put up with that from even their parents.
That's a good point.
Jesus taught us to " do unto others as we would have them do unto us". I dont think there is a parent alive who would want their child to cut them off and have nothing to do with them. We should treat our parents the way we would want to be treated, if we offended one of our children, how would we want to be treated. God gives us the example of loving us and never cutting us off, even though we hurt Him and others. God tells us what is right for us to do, to pray for those who treat us badly, to do good to them when we can, We should do the same to our family.
So many comments about either some exception (real abuse) or not understanding that there will always be exceptions. Dennis is pointing out that this is at a pandemic level. Most cases is because people choose their own rules over God’s. We have been taught the last few generations to love ourselves more than following God’s commandments. So many have abandoned their parents or their children because they abandon God.
So many excuses because we live in this broken world. Either we choose God or we choose the world.
Thank you Dennis - this is a pandemic.
Continuing a relationship with an abuser rewards bad behavior. Maybe Dennis is afraid his children will stop talking to him because of the wrongs he's done to them and he doesn't want to make amends.
Thank you for this. It’s been over 15 years for me. No other reason than my Christian faith & Conservative values. And before anyone assumes. No, I did not reject or judge my child in any way. They were loved. My unwillingness to compromise my values was enough to get me canceled.
So sorry. I get it.
People on the right often cancel people too
Perhaps your inability to judge and teach the difference between good and evil is why you are in this position? If the highest value you taught your children was not to judge, and then you began to condemn things like abortion to the moment of birth and sex change for children and total control by government, perhaps they see you as a hypocrite. Perhaps you should apologize for not judging.
@@danielbaker1190When I say don’t judge; I’m referring to the fact that I didn’t judge my daughter as unworthy of my love due to her choices. Only that I would not affirm them. She was most definitely taught right & wrong.
@crushynn90 obviously not, if she will not speak to you because of your stance on what is good and evil. I have the same issue with my children. They are unable to see the evil that is occurring. Somehow, I have failed in teaching them some basic values and the ability to judge.
You SHOULD be a loving parent who raises children who become adults who want you to continue to be in their lives until you die. Be accountable for your own actions and decisions as a parent.
My maternal grandmother physically and emotionally abused my mother for years as a child. It destroyed her and made her develop severe psychological problems. My paternal grandfather was a drunk who stepped on my grandmother when she was pregnant once and caused her to miscarry. And she wasn't any better. She disowned and kicked out my half aunt because she married a Filipino man. She always considered her mixed race grandchildren inferior. Always honor your parents? How about parents do something worthy of being honored in the first place.
I usually agree with Prager U., but not in this case. Obligations are reciprocal. If parents did what they could for their children, they deserve matching consideration, (though they ought to be living their own lives, not depending on their children for stimulus).
Behaviour that is rewarded gets reinforced and repeated. Tolerating toxic behaviour implicitly encourages it. In the case of Denis' grandmother, calling her was rewarding and inviting further abuse. Not calling her for a while, and responding to the inevitable query with "because you make it unpleasant for me" would have been perfectly reasonable,and might have reformed her.
The only thing this video did for me was to remind me of the hatred my daughter has for me. She keeps my grandchildren out of my life because I am convinced, she loves crushing my heart and soul. Lessons her mother taught her well.
My parents raised me in Bill Gothard's "Shiny Happy People" cult, which set me on an arrested development path of career and relationship degradation and compulsive behaviors/addiction. Their current behaviors undermine my work to get my life on track. Am I dishonoring them by limiting my contact with them?
Nope! You're good. If you want ammo of a more spiritual nature, I recommend the Book of Proverbs which identify a fool, and how you are supposed to treat a fool. It's pretty clear, and there is no caveat for 'unless they're your parents".
“You do what you feel is right.” Yes. Morality is subjective. There are no divine moral obligations that one must fulfill. I find it funny how many moral realists (specifically divine command theorists) state that subjective morality is a problem without explaining why it’s a problem. They say, “You can’t say anything is objectively wrong.” Yeah, that’s literally describing moral subjectivism. That’s not highlighting the issue with it.
2:40 Putting up with Abuse is not Love it’s Conditioning. I feel sorry for your Father. What did your Mother think of all this? What kinds of things was your Grandmother yelling about? Probably anything to create Fear Obligation and Guilt in your Father. Absolutely horrendous excuse of a Mother and Grandmother. Honoring your Mother and Father is not for Abusive Parents. 3:14 I’ve witnessed Grandparents enabling this especially when they want more access to Grandchildren. They don’t care about the alienated other parent at all or whether their child needs mental help or is abusive just as long as they get their access. 3:34 these problems were going on way before Trump. The economy doesn’t help either Dennis. Boomers control a lot of wealth and they like to dangle it like a carrot to get their way. Did your Grandmother do that to your Father as well? 4:20 this is the rule not the exception more than you think Dennis. 4:29 No we don’t need to talk to them that’s ridiculous. Do you care at all about the mental health of adult children? 4:43 they are reaping what they’ve sown. This is victim shaming. 4:48 the infliction of pain on a child is greater. 4:59 the parents will be judged accordingly as well.
The fifth commandment has a reason attached to it. It is so that you, your family and your nation will prosper. Cultures who don’t do this crumble. Your elders have wisdom. Listen to them so you don’t have to make the same mistakes.