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How I Used Anxiety As A Powerful Tool For Optimism
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- čas přidán 3. 12. 2020
- I hope this video doesn't upset anyone, I just wanted to explain why I seem so positive and upbeat on camera. It comes from a genuine place and I wanted to tell the story about how I changed my mindset so that I could better appreciate the gifts I've been given and take advantage of every moment. I hope this helps at least one person.
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Optimism is having hope not just being happy. Thank you for spreading mental health awareness and being your usual authentic self. Great message.
I am so feeling like how you are feeling. I live in Minnesota and the riots and police violence did more damage to me than my service did. My anxiety has just blown off the charts. I am slowly starting to heal.
Well said. Life is complicated and everyone has good and bad days. We're all just trying to put one foot in front of the other, and by the grace of God, carry on.
That is exactly what I tell myself when I am anxious or filled to the brim with melancholy: keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. A college professor, who was my mentor, once told me that one doesn’t drive looking in the rear-view mirror, so why would we live our lives in such a way?
Thank you, Kay, for revealing your vulnerability to us.
This was just the perfect thing for me to hear after this awful year.
This is a timely topic. Many people are struggling with what I am calling “pandemic isolation funk” and it is more serious than my title is making it sound...that said...the struggle is real. The battery of questions they now ask when you go to the Doctor are insufficient to really recognize a serious issue and shall we consider functional mental illnesses that go undetected for more years than people realize... anyway so grateful to see conversations about this topic...
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Beautifully expressed. Thank you for being a blessing. I appreciate you.
I totally relate to this video. My darkest hour was this past September when both my husband and I were infected with the Covid virus. It was so scary, not knowing how or if we would get through it. It kind of felt like an out-of-body experience. We got through it, and now every day I feel grateful. Sometimes life is hard. But most days are beautiful and every day is a gift!
So pleased you and Hubby recovered from Covid-19. We so need to hear of people like you pulling through. All too often we hear only of the negative. We've had some disappointing news recently but hearing of you winning the battle makes my day all the better. I hope everyday continues to be kind to you and thank you for sharing. :-)
I watched this once, then just now left it playing within earshot of my 21y/o daughter. I think some of it got absorbed! Thanks for posting it. Very unexpected, but well done.
I work for a manager who practices toxic positivity. She has had to temper that lately during the pandemic. Love you guys! Thank you for sharing your story.
I am told that I’m just too positive or too “happy”...people don’t realize that we have bad days too...and get sad too! My teenage daughter is going through everything you mentioned in here...I’m working on being supportive to her...and learning to just listen instead of “being positive”. I’m glad you uploaded this! Thank you! ❤️
You're awesome.
I too, have been told I’m too happy, or that I am not living an “authentic” life. I try to keep most of my sadness to my self.
I can so relate. I've been so sick, I almost died. Recovery was painful. Now I appreciate being able to move and get around!
Just have to say, I am a new sub and in my first comment on one of your organizing vids I thanked you for being kind and gentle. I felt self conscious about that comment for days, it seemed like a strange thing to say to someone sharing organizing tips. 😅 But now having seen this video, I totally understand why I sensed these qualities in you right off the bat. It comes through in everything you do! You are an encourager, the world sure needs it. Thank you for sharing.
That is GRATITUDE 🙏
Military brats are some of the most resilient, grateful people I know. I’m blessed to know you! ❤️
Very good job of talking about a tough subject. I love your honesty.
Thanks for sharing. Growing up I was always fearful of new experiences, places and people . As I got older this fear kept growing. I always felt like I was hiding my fear and faking my way through life. Three years ago at the age of 40 I was finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Some days are still a struggle but it really helps when people like you share your experiences. It lets me and others know we’re not alone. Thank you so much.
Kaaay! I absolutely freaking looooved this! It's the first time I'm hearing your story of what led you to start your business. What a beautiful, powerful lesson. We love you Kay and your content! :D
I gave a Like to the first 9 comments, because they said all of what I feel. TFS 👍
YES! me too!!❤️
Glad you uploaded it, great message and motivating. I appreciate that you are completely honest with that part of yourself. We can all learn that we are all human and have some of the same strengths and weaknesses. Continued blessings on your journey......On another note, Clover is like "WHEN WE ARE OUT, THIS IS MY TIME...NO VLOGGING WHEN PLAYING!!!" 😊.
Find the good whether it is in people or in nature or in organization or in holiday decorating or whatever your jam
And we are fortunate to have you as a friend and such a positive light! Keep on doing what you love to do and we will always support you! Love you and Clover! I know what it’s like to play fetch with my two dogs for an hour straight hahaha enjoy the rest of your day!
I love the part about dropping toxic friends. Thanks 😊
Thank you for opening up about your mental health struggles and your view on life. I actually love your positive mindset!
I think a lot of people are so used to the negativity in their life, that they perceive optimistic people as fake or as idealistic and not realistic. This is complete bull****, but maybe it is their way of coping with the fact that someone else is happy, while they are not.
Again, thank you for opening up and being so honest and reflective about your past. This is really helpful and valuable insight on how to change ones mindset and hopefully, more people will learn from this.
Keep up the amazing work! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing. I recently subscribed to your channel. Clover is such a cutie.
Wonderfully stated, thank you Kay. Gratitude is indeed a powerful tool; appreciate the reminder.
I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. You have great energy and I really enjoy your content.
Thank you making the decision to upload this video. I believe it will help someone. In this turbulent time in the world, we need more positive things to turn to. Thank you again!
Thanks for your transparency. So many people are dealing with issues from their past and issues that affect them in their daily lives. It affects our being and are not expressed either for fear of judgment or not being accepted by others. These are issues that we need to be able to talk about freely in order to free our minds...
Thank you for your honesty. It is so important that people hear this because toxic positivity seems to be running wild. And it will make others feel better knowing that they are not alone.
Funny, I’m often a pessimist (tend to believe most things will turn out poorly or against the good), but still come to the same conclusion - our time is finite, so hold gratitude for the simple things, accept our range of emotions whether joyful or suffering, and recognize the world isn’t just black and white (or pessimist vs optimist 😅). Just, having compassion for the varied experience(rs) of life becomes one of the most liberating ways to connect with existence here on Earth. It is always a journey, no matter the path.
You are very brave expressing your experience which so many of us go through. Mental health is still taboo which is so unfair. Our brains can be sick just like any other body organ. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. ⭐️☀️
Toxic positivity is a great term. If a person is feeling down, telling them to cheer up is counterproductive. Thanks for talking about this, Kay.😊
Thank you! I don’t ever want to make anyone else feel like what they are going through is invalid, but for myself, I made a choice to be optimistic. I’m grateful that I could make that choice.
Well said, Thank you for uploading. I will see you tomorrow
YES, just like you, I suffered something when I was young that made me appreciate everyday and value living beings much more. Unlike you, it took me a very long time to move away from people who weren't necessarily right in my life. I've had some incredibly challenging stages in my life which have brought me tremendous fear and heartbreak, but I still consider myself an optimist. Granted there are many times in the world that I just get so angry and frustrated that I just want to cry, then I do and get back to fighting thru whatever is going on at that time. I found you on here, (this will make the third Christmas I've followed you,) looking at organizational and decluttering help videos, but stayed because you and Clover are a positive in my life... your behind the scenes videos and dress rehearsals when you're able to work, are my absolute favorite part about your channel and I can't wait til life is normal and you're doing them again. I hope next year at this time you find yourself fully engrossed in your latest musical project and are bringing us along for the ride.
Thanks for your transparency and honesty. I really enjoyed this type of video from you. BUT, I also love all of your videos. I like to see the glass as half full, was once told that I was a real “Pollyanna”. I am so happy that you shared the video.
I was told that too. It really hurt my feelings at the time and now I understand some people have a hard time seeing the grass as half full. Now I do not but trying to get back there. I have serious anxiety.
Great video I always love your positive outlook. I, myself, have been criticized for being cheerful at work. Guess what people? I always left my personal problems at the door; and became the professional person that I am. Yes, I have had my share of problems in life, including an abusive spouse. I chose to do something about it. So many of us look forward to seeing your beautiful smile and wonderful outlook on life.
That is the type of optimist I tend to be. I do have down days, but they don't last forever!
Thank you for sharing today! I loved this so much!
I don’t even know how I found your channel, but I’m so glad I did. I relate to everything you’ve expressed in this video, anxiety has been my constant companion in life but has also taught me so much. I came for the organization but definitely stay for your calming presence, level headed analysis/education and refreshing positivity. Wishing you and your family a happy holidays!
Thank you for sharing! I find it helpful to monitor how much news I watch because it can be very depressing. Aside from going through both of my parents death the worst after that was 911 and watching people jump from the twin towers. I had to shut that off. That was something I could never unsee.
I am loving your channel! I could identify with being an anxious only child.💜 You have a healthy and balanced outlook!
Thank you so much, Kay! Toxic positivity is something I have railed against for years. If I'm down or depressed (either situational or part of my cyclothymia disorder), the last thing I need is for someone to tell me to "look on the bright side". People who model positivity have so much more of an impact. I really appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share with us you journey.
On a separate note, when I sat down to watch this today, Sonny (my dog in my profile pic) came running as soon as he heard Clover barking and watched until Clover was off the screen. We both love Clover.
Thanks for sharing and hello Clover James. 🐶🐶
Since I can't surround myself with people I would like to have around me I choose who to watch on CZcams as if they were physically around. Being positive all the time is just not possible in this world it seems. I am grateful for CZcams and your channel. Go have some ice cream! Thanks for sharing. Take Care.
❤️ I wish people would just let other people live more. You be you! I love your videos and I’m so glad we’ve been able to connect through our many mutual interests. With luck, next year will be better!
Kay this video and your perspective is so helpful, especially during this particularly weird year we’ve been living through.I’ve been feeling some of these exact feelings of anxiety and a lot of really crippling feelings about mortality specifically and it’s comforting to know that others are feeling the same way or have felt the same way. I hope we can all wake up tomorrow and have a least a moment of optimism!
Also Clover is THE cutest dog and it makes me so happy to see him in every video 😭🙏🏻
Kay, you have almost exactly the same lifelong struggle with anxiety as me with the same thoughts to go along with it. You are an encouragement and I appreciate your candidness.
Thanks for uploading this video. ❤️
I find that anxiety is SO hard to deal with, especially guilt associated with recognizing my own privilege in relation to others. Ultimately, our struggles are not invalidated by another person's perceived greater severity of problems.
I love your healthy optimism and always look forward to your videos. The past struggles we have experienced have helped us recognize and appreciate the good in everyday life. I hope you know you are appreciated, truly. Thank you for sharing.
I think I like organizing because it helps me put order in a world that is in disorder. Control where there is no control. But what you said resonates with me, life is short, live your best life. I want to get a dog too for that resason. Do everything we want to do Now, dont wait!
I feel relax.at peace.focus and happy and no anxiety what so ever when i organize things,just as a painter creating art. the opposite to many people when they organize things
This is not the first time you’ve given such a great message that it could’ve been a Ted Talk. I really appreciate it and want to make sure you know this. You are so heartfelt and sincere. I know this is helping so many people.
Funny you mentioned u click on not so positive video cuz those are the one I totally avoid:) I love ur optimism I find it uplifting
I hope we all can emerge from this current, collective experience of sorrow and anguish with the sense of gratitude and positivity, which you found after your accident. After all we have been through as humans, I will be honest I can feel my sense of trust in others slipping. I use to genuinely believe all people were at their core kind. I was never more concerned about my safety as I am now not just from the virus but from 74 million fellow Americans. I hope that I can refind the hope and optimism sooner rather than later. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thank you for your honesty. More people should be open & honest about their feelings & struggles. I, too, am a basically optimistic person, but it’s been harder to maintain my normal outlook during these very troubled times, especially given the toxic political climate in the U.S. Glad you’re able to focus on the good & on self-care. Clover is adorable &, no doubt, a great source of pleasure. My 2 fur babies give me such delight. Enjoy & be thankful for every day!
I relate so much... thank you Kay . For this beautiful message. I was anxious and sad when I woke up this morning and this video makes the day coming different... Hugs from Paris France 🇫🇷
I watch all your videos and thought you were always quite positive. But I knew that positivity does not come automatically - it comes eventually from struggle, just like it did with you, just like it did with me. Thank you for sharing that, was nice to hear.
I want to give you some major hugs! Also, I was/am that anxious child too. Not going to get into too many specifics but I understand your feels, even if most of my fears had no good reasons (I didn't have to worry like you in Germany and such, I feared ALL the worst ALWAYS). You are amazing. Not in a falsely positive way, you are real and you show that. Thank you.
God bless you for sharing so transparently. Your honesty frees the rest of us to look at our own issues with compassion for ourselves!
Thank you for uploading this. You're right that changing our viewpoint on life's events makes all the difference in how we feel. Action is my antidote to anxiety, and your videos have helped me rediscover the serenity in lovingly doing our daily tasks to make home a restful and restorative place.
I love your honesty, Kay!
It's good for those we admire to be able to say it how it is, especially on subjects that so many people either ignore, or find hard to talk about. You are an amazing woman, and I'm so pleased that I came across your channel when I did last year :)
As someone who has been housebound for the last 20 years, and living alone since my husband died 2 years ago, there ae plenty of times when I would have loved to talk about how I feel - only to have that same thing done to me, so that my feelings weren't allowed to be vented - it's both hurtful to me, but also hurtful for the one doing the denying, I feel :/
You are a good person, and that's why so many of us keep coming back to watch whatever you choose to offer us, Kay - thank you for being real with us all :)
I totally understand...I've dealt with anxiety since a teenager...just didn't know that was what it was. Anxiety has gotten worse as I get older (Fibromyalgia and a fight with breast cancer) but I'm dealing with it...I worked at changing my perception of life. I'm happy you have found a solution that works for you. 😘💗
I, for one, am entirely heartened by this embodiment of balanced well being. Thank you.
I love this video, I don't usually watch these kinds of videos. But I trust that your message was from the heart and it was. I'm glad I stayed. Griwing up anxiety filled and still suffering from time to time. I appreciate you.
Gratitude and perspective - so incredibly powerful. Thank you for sharing. 💜
I can't help thinking that you would be an excellent therapist if you so chose.
I can so relate to you 😊 keep up the great vlogs and I enjoy them all. I’m 1 week post op as your last operation. Grateful I got to watch it before going into surgery it was very helpful. Would you consider doing a post op vlog on your recovery up to now?
Thank you so much for your honest and heartfelt video. I really appreciate you and how positive you are in such a genuine way. It does make me very upset to think that you could “get in trouble” for posting a video where you’re just simply being yourself and being honest. That’s certainly a huge drawback of putting yourself out there with online content and I want to say again how much I appreciate you continuing to do so. I think you’re fantastic and your videos have really given me so much.
Great video💕💕💕. And great message. As I grow older I realize that I need to stay away from toxic people, it is so freeing, I’d rather be around my husband, dog, home and nature any day. This virus doesn’t bother me as much as others because I have all I need in my little world, and I treasure the time. Also I feel very blessed to have two kind adult children who live in Chicago and Vegas and see and talk to on FaceTime often, who love us so much, and are so caring.. I thank God everyday for my blessed life, and children..
God bless you and of course Adorable Clover, he has a great mom💕💕thank you for your great videos, I enjoy watching. them.
Wow.. I too severely broke my ankle and couldn’t walk w/o crutches! The most painful thing ever was changing the position of my Dx ankle! I cried.. sweated.. snd the PA ( Physician’s Assistant couldn’t believe how painful it was.. he tried cajoling me... and sneakily pushing the footrest un closer to me.. I knew!! I was literally screaming!! I am sooo grateful to only have the restrictions we have! Some lost family members.
I did lose a former co-worker... a friends husband.... & an Uncle... but it’s how you choose to react! No one else is responsible for how your handle a situation. At least we are able to talk and FaceTime!! Could be worse! That’s how I look at things!! I have a friend who pouts at 53 yo!! Told him to get a grip!! We talk about how it could be worse. He’s getting the picture!!
You are adjusting to similar feelings well... Glad you’ve found new & better? Love.... ! I wish your& family the best.. to he!! W/ nay sayers!!
M
I like hearing your honest thoughts. Thank you for sharing this video!
You are a gift. Thank you for your honesty and generosity. If you were my daughter, I would be so very proud of you. Some people are changed for the better by challenging life experiences - you are fortunate to have this capacity. And we are fortunate that you shared your story. You are a delight. Keep doing what you are doing and following your instincts. Grateful for you.
Really great message.
Thank you so much for your honesty and openness. And I really like the way you took a painful accident and changed your mindset. It really spoke to me. 😊
Thank you very much 💕
you are so special 🐾🐾
♥️ Clover also ♥️
I'm glad you decided to upload this video. I also suffered from anxiety as a child still do as an adult. Thank you for being vulnerable and honest 🖤🖤
Q has helped me during this time. Once you have a basic idea of what is going you wont be anxious.
Kay, Thank you for sharing. I totally relate to how anxious you were as a child in the D.C. area. I grew up in Northern VA in the 60's and 70's. You were so right on about the news in that area. I was so scared and afraid some nights, especially in my teens, that I couldn't sleep for worrying . Product of the cold war I guess. It takes a lot of will power , self awareness and often professional help to overcome all the anxiety and stress in the world. Everyone handles things differently and you need to do you! Keep up the good fight sister!
I am so happy that you decided to upload this video. You have spoken of so many things that I've dealt with during my childhood and adult years. I really appreciate your explanation of the term "Toxic Positivity". It's great to have a positive attitude but we all know that there are times when, as you said, things just suck. It's tiring to be around a Little Mary Sunshine all of the time.
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. As always, another inspiring video from such a gracious lady.
Well-spoken from your personal point of view - which is Brilliant for many people who are going through such wide ranges of emotions. I appreciate your candor and vulnerability. Stay safe you, your husband, and Clover James. You also inspired me to declutter and organise my home. I have already completed 8 rooms in my home, and have the upstairs to do, next. It is true to take out everything and start anew, I heard you in my mind saying take out everything, I know it may not be fun, but it's worth it!! My space is clear, natural, and inspiring! I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul! Keep posting and being authentic, I really needed this video and it was simply Wonderful!!!
If someone has said you are toxicly positive it is just not true. People who are that way are extremely dismissive of the feelings of others,you are not that.. you are an empath, this is a good video. All of us have our challenges to varying degrees, keep on keeping on. We need you. I need you. Kind thoughts ❤️(and dogs)😁😘🐾🕊,ps I had to re find this video as I gave it some thought before commenting😉
Thank you for sharing your story. We all have a story to tell. You are an amazingly beautiful human being inside and out. I love watching your organizing videos. They have helped me tremendously, decluttering my apartment and reorganizing things. I thought I was ok, LOL. I continue to be optimistic, open to constructive criticism, learning new things, sharing and caring for others, while being appreciative, grateful, and thankful for life and love.
Stay safe. Stay Beautiful.
Thank you for this video.
Excellent video, Kay. I know very few people who glide through life unscathed! I, too, have been anxious all my life. I CHOOSE optimism and gratitude most days. I’ve suffered some trauma, but choose to remember I came through it. Thanks for being your authentic self.
Sending love from Iowa,
~ Lori Parrish Niemi ~
Thanks for choosing to upload. This was actually very refreshing, uplifting and helpful.
Than you Kay, you have put so much in perspective for me, and put a lot into words. I know Clover is a big help to you. I can see your special relationship.
Thank you for this video. I am glad you uploaded it.
Thank you for sharing
I did those things after I loss my mom and watched how family and friends were being jackass and realized that these people have to go for my health and peace. I joined the MIND YOUR BUSINESS CLUB 😄😄and kept moving. Now I have peace in my life, love and home.
I'm so glad you decided to upload this! Amazing message and so needed for this year.
Happiness is relative. Anyone can be depressed or have a difficult time. In this age of first world problems, we dismiss people who may actually have issues because we judge their situation as not being as bad as ours. So sure if its superficial, I guess I get that, but,as an example, a famous celebrity with millions of dollars could easily be self medicating for clinical depression via some cocaine. I grew up poor. I am comfortable, but by no means rich. I don't relate to celebrities, but I guess I still understand everyone has feelings and issues.
Just what I needed to hear! Thank you so much.
This was a great video and I really appreciate how open you are about this kind of thing. Not going to lie some of the things you mentioned were a little triggering for me so I had to pause a couple of times before getting through the whole video- but well said ❤️❤️❤️
I stopped your video at 6:36 to tell my husband about your childhood in Germany (he was stationed with there with the Army 83-86 - before I met him) and he nodded and said every time you went out you had to check your car if you were American. Each and every time between stops. I can't imagine how terrifying it must have been for a child. :(
Where do I start. Thank you so much for always being brave enough to say what is of concern to you. I had to look up the meaning of 'toxic positivity'. And it made me realise that my comment about your parents being able to watch you everyday during Vlogmas would mean you're in their lives everyday. I'm so sorry for saying that. With what your mum is currently going through, of course you can't help but be anxious and worry about them. I suppose I was trying to lessen the pain of you not being able to be with your parents. Perhaps what I should have said as I'm going through a challenging time trying to care for my disabled mum who also has a really difficult psychological condition. Was my mum from time to time goes downhill, is unresponsive and during those times ends up being admitted to hospital and mainly myself and my sister we'd have to visit her each day to get her back to us. Back to her normal self then get her back home again. It's being going on for the past 10 years. A lot of the times she got into trouble by not taking her meds, which she always feels she doesn't need. But I'd discovered early on, by calling and reminding her to take them each day, we'd have a chat for 5 mins, for 10mins, for half an hour and we'd end up laughing. Or crying as we've lost Dad. But anyway, each time I'd call her she'd had a cheerful singing note in her voice as in the end she looked forward to my calls. And because I'd listen to her stories of childhood. Or she'd tell me something about Dad. He often made us laugh, both myself and mum was the stronger for having that conversation. Plus by making the call everyday I could tell by her voice when she wasn't doing so well and perhaps needed intervention from her doctors. I would also visit her several times a week. At first I didn't really know what to say apart from when did you go to bed last night? Did you have a good night's sleep? What time did you get up this morning..Blah blah then eventually went onto the subject of her meds and she'd take them while I was on the phone. I am mum's main carer but I now have additional help with her care. It's been an exhausting and at times painful journey for me and mum. But it has also been a joy to see my mum feel like her old self where I've got her shopping with me. Baking, cooking for my siblings, sewing to name just a few things. Why? Because I would call her everyday so she was more inclined to try to do things herself and she would tell me she enjoyed her day. I think the point I'm trying to make is that my mum only progressed not just because I was there making her meals, doing her laundry, washing her when she was bad and having a hard time. But by talking to her and listening to her either in person or on the phone. It is such a powerful tool we just don't realise. I could say more but I better end before everyone falls asleep. I've said so little about my difficulties until now because I've spent so much time trying to build others up. So Kay, my name's Marcia by the way, do you like my pseudonym mseeya? If at all I seem to be denying your pain or your difficulties or you're not happy with what I've commented please feel free to say something. You invite us to make comments. It should also be the same the other way around. I do hear your pain. And I've heard it every time. And I don't ever dismiss it. I can be a little too positive at times I know. It's my being the 'Eldest sibling of five, always caring for others that you hear in me'. And sometimes you need to say, Stop. There's nothing wrong with that. I wish the best for everyone. Everyone on your channel. You have some quite lovely people commenting on your channel and I'll try to share a little more in the future. Take care now.
I can relate!!! & I am very positive !!! I lean on my Faith in God!!!
You're in my prayers as all youtubers and their followers are
Thank you for sharing this, great video!
Thanks for keeping it real