10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Say!
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- čas přidán 26. 06. 2024
- An Elegant Lady would never say these things! So, to polish your proper etiquette for conversation, make sure to avoid doing these speaking mistakes. Live a more fabulous future by taking part in my FREE workshop: fabulousfutureformula.com/
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⚜️WHO IS ANNA BEY?⚜️
Anna Bey is an elegance expert and educator, teaching women how to transform their lives to enjoy a more refined personal presence and lifestyle. She's been featured in The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan and many more. For more information about Anna, visit: annabey.com
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#annabey - Jak na to + styl
Thank you for watching! ❤️ If you liked this video, then make sure to watch this one for more content on elegance & etiquette: 10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Do czcams.com/video/Bem1vltlYN0/video.html
'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' Maya Angelou
One of my favourite quotes so relevant to everything Anna said in this video
😀
I'm glad you've stated these!
It's interesting how many people are offended that I practice these.
Please make a video about how to answer questions about career ?
My grandmother was born a countess/condesa and was very blessed to have been brought up extremely well educated and with elegant modalities. She always said that it was good to speak up about topics as long as one does so with respect and in a peaceful manner. So I must disagree with you here @schoolofaffluence regarding... silencing oneself when it comes to important topics... What influence, purpose, presence or example does one set, when silenced within society and world cultures? In particular our children should always know what is expected of them as far as maintaining poise and knowledge of topics that may include politics, religion, etc, etc and those are private conversations. However, if one does not model/be a living example of how to live expressing those same expectations within society by expressing oneself when the occasion arises; Then, how will girls learn to do this, if their primary example (mother) is encouraged to maintain silent in public? No, no, that itself would be a lack of elegance. And, it is also good to know where your close friends stand on such important subjects and world issues as well... How will you know if they are silenced, solely for the (notion) of elegance? As my grandmother would say: Speak-up with an educated stance whilst maintaining always poise and respect for others; That, is true elegance!
I do enjoy viewing your videos and think your channel concept is refreshing and positive. However on the above point of maintaining oneself silent: I must elegantly disagree.
You missed a few ones: never ask a female if she is pregnant or when she will have babies. Or when she will be getting married!
I do believe this was touched in a former video. We are NOT to ask such things, as I am certain that you already knew...😉
Ater my first pregnancy, a woman asked me "oh! Are you expecting the second one?", and I was so awkward to respond her with a little smile "hum, no"... If you have a doubt about it , just don't ask 😅
Now i'm expecting the second one, I'm 5 months pregnant, and I feel uncomfortable when people look intensively at my belly trying to see if I am or not. I just don't know how to tell them "yes, in case you are asking, I am pregnant" 😅 this is so complicated 😂
Uh this one is horrible. I witnessed a girl leaving a party bc my friend asked her if she was pregnant. She was on a diet. Ouf
Uh yeah. I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant before. It’s hurtful because I’m actually trying to lose weight.
@Marylee Macpherson I have been mortified many times by the first question. And about 95% of WOMEN ask me if I have children. This is soooo rude. A woman could have a child that perished or what if she can't have children. Or many other heart braking scenarios like that.
Once you stop respond to sex conversation or talk about sex, the toxic guy who only wants you for sex will stay away from you. And that's one of the advantages of being elegant
I was literally thinking about this and wondering if just the simple change in me and my energy will cut the attraction cycle of those guys. I believe it will work :)
Amen, sister! 🙏🏼❤️
Yes. It also saves you from girfriendnemies. I used to make very hot comments with girlfriends when I was in college, it was my way to cope with shyness and get more friends and it worked. But some of those "friends" spread rummor that I was promiscuous and that I stared at boys genitals all the time, and the "friends" that didnt say anything helped spreading the rummor by not saying anything though they knew rummors were false. So I learned the hard way.
Amen! It’s like repellent
@Sarina Abdi I notice you are young, what I suggest to you, also to my teenager daughter and son, is to get rid off them. Share your presence wisely and even those gossipfriends will put you in high value and will crave for your presence. Its not easy because we think that belonging to a social circle, memories shared with them make us worth. When you realize your worth has nothing to do with your social circle it would be easy to just walk away with no drama. Create a new totally diferent social life and dont look back.
Im 49yo and started doing so when I was 44yo in a very slow way. If I had have done it at your age I would have not developed fibromyalgia, depresion, anxiety, 1 heart stroke among other conditions (I have been smeared campaing by my own mother since toddler). Pleasing people, caring for what they say makes you a zombie.
One of the best compliments I have had as a mother is that one of my kids friend told my kids "you are different, it seems you dont care to fit or to be like everybody". Wish you the best young beautiful lady❤
A pet peeve of mine that women say all the time which I think is wrong: asking if someone's hair, jewelry or eyelashes are real. Talk about awkward and making someone feel low when they are trying to feel their best. Total lack of manners.
Yes it’s extremely insulting and rude. If I like something someone has, I merely state “I like your etc, how lovely.”
So true!
Absolutely right!
@@j.t.8816 many times.
@Vintage Kitty oh yes! I was asked once if my necklace was real. I said no and felt so uncomfortable. In my opinion that was just rude!
When asked a rude question I was taught to smile gently and respond, “I will forgive you for asking if you will forgive me for not answering.”
Good one!!! Thank you for sharing.
😂😂😂
Thank you for sharing! This is a great way to respond 👏
I'll use this if you don't mind.
@@Torihappyness please do! 😊
Discretion is one of the most important values in elegant life.
and it’s very hard to teach
💯💯💯
Then tell women to stop posting tits and ass pics on their IG. The thirst for validation is real. And the simps who give it are worse.
Not very “ladylike.”
Yes!!!!!!!!
Please do a video on the other side when people say insulting things or intrusive questions on how to respond as an elegant lady. Thank you Anna
Great idea!!!
Yes please
this is a great idea!
thanks Ana
Yes please Anna
k you’re right! I missed that. Thank you and will watch.
Being polite and kind and humble and educated is what makes someone classy
There's a guy I would go to dinner and lunch, etc. with sometimes that's supposed to be from a family of prestige from what he says to me. He gets sort of silly and loud sometimes when we go out to eat at a restaurant. When he slows down his talking and looks at me for feedback/response to what he said I just look at him and very slightly move my head just a bit side to side in concentration while I pinch my face in at the brow and say, "sooooooo classy." He just looks at me in wonder and then thinks about what I said to him for a second. Then he laughs and calls me a mean name for saying that to him because I embarrassed him just a little bit. Then I laugh too. LoL! It's funny.
Plus quiet....elegant women do not use a loud voice in public
@@juanitahardy8583
Of course being quite is part of being polite
Maybe, I met some seriously well educated people that are just stupid and arrogant
People think Anna may be "fake" but truth is, Anna is the realest on the internet 😂
She behaves sometimes just tooo like a robot not fake but after a time I'm like ughh..
Agreed💯
@@se.i.4393, she's improving that, I noticed.
Never met a fake Aries :)
And it is a thing with Aries that we love to look at ourselves in the mirror. It’s not a vanity thing it’s really some weird sign thing we are born with. We love study people and that includes ourselves
My friend from college thinks I’m “too uptight” and “too classy” because I behave like a lady. I don’t mind and I like the people I attract.
I feel people think that about me. I don't mind it at all.
I think it’s jealousy.....
👏👏👏
Wow
She is jelly that you attract people and not her
“You don’t have to voice everything you think” Anna Bey you are so on target. You are leading the elegant revolution. Bringing class back❤️
Which country
Yes, sometimes less really is more.
Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Does it need to be said by me? My elegant inner voice mostly says no!
My father is a neurologist and I cannot stress enough how often people approach him in social environments asking for a free advice or knowing he will be there and bringing their medical results asking him to say his opinion..Not only it’s extremely inappropriate and annoying, he’s working all day and night and one time he wants to relax people attack him like hyenas 😂 thank you Anna for saying this ❤️🙏🏻
A few of my dates only wanted free legal advice. When I told them the consultation price if I answer them, they got upset. It's not very much and every lawyer charges. I guess they wanted advice at the price of a dinner. They were surprised that I never agreed for a second date. If I want a service, I pay for it, and I never mix my personal and professional life.
@@lalywindland5764 exactly!
Possible comeback for your father (and other professions). “It’s my policy to never give advice while I’m drinking. “
@@Antikythera.. That’s a great one!! Thank you ☺️
Oh my
And don't forget: when on vacation take care what you discuss with your travel companion. There is ALWAYS someone who understands your language.
You got me with this comment 🤣🤣🤣 A few embarassing stories came to my mind.
yes!! you never know ! I understand a few words in Spanish and its really unsettling when you hear some one speaking disgusting commentsor other things about you when you know enough to pick apart what they are saying.
Farsi much? They don't even see me coming. lol.
I once heard a girl say to another in Spanish that I was as skinny as a lizard. I suddenly just started laughing like a maniac. My husband didnt understand Spanish and he looked at me quizically. I told him what the girl had said. I think she may have heard me, though I said it as discreetly as possible, because she disappeared. It just hit me so funny.
That's very true. I've caught quite a lot of weird or offensive talk among tourists where I live, since I can understand a few languages other than my country's .
Reminder: Asking a lawyer for legal advise f.e. at a party is not only inappropriate it's also really rude and wrong bc giving legal advice is exactly what they do for a living. My mother is a lawyer and she has told me that she finds it rude when someone begins explaining their situation at a party and asking her questions. She usually tells them that they can call her office and make an appointment.
Nice to read this. I think I never did this, but it I could end up doing it someday, and I understand both sides. Sometimes we can't stop thinking about a problem and get carried away when meeting someone who has expertise in the field. However, it's really annoying for the lawyer, he's just a human enjoying his time at the party. The same goes to any profission, of course.
@@chatonsacrement7454 which country are u from
@Rica G which country are u from Japan
As a lawyer i agree
I usually just ask which law school they went to, and it's usually my university (top law school in my county) and then we just talk about our school and common friends we may share etc. It'll turn it to a very pleasant conversation.
Now I need more subjects I could talk about and won't be offensive to anyone and would make everyone feel good and relaxed :)
Technology, psychology, culture, foods, fashion, and hobbies. Those were at the top of my head.
But I would love to know if they are not the right topics to talk about with elite people. 😄
The weather, my dress, your dress, and the food
You can never go wrong talking about the weather 🤣
I know you’re being sarcastic but there are literally millions of things to talk about. People have been doing it for centuries.
I like to tell some anecdote or story or something that happened to me, and then people tend to tell another one of theirs and topics just come up! Of course this would be difficult to do in a big group of people but when you’re just 2-4 people in the table it works well
I would add don't be bragging about one's children or child all the time unless specifically asked how one's children or child is doing.
Totally agree with this point.
Exactly, like nobody cares. Unless we specifically asks.
Agree, I have zero desire to hear about children
I'm guilty of this because I am so super proud of my daughter, but I didn't know it bothered people. I don't mind when like dog people talk about their dog.
Agreed 1000%
Never ask a woman her age or weight or a man his height or how much he earns. Good video!
I don't see why women feel so complexed about their age
So if going on a blind date or meeting from a dating site won’t need an idea of what a man looks like? Plus in the case of proposals, yes courtships still happens, generally how much a man earns would be a good idea to know if he can take care of his family, this is seen initially by if he takes the lady out, how often, where and what. If he doesn’t, not good.
@@leilaw5255
You’re taking it way too serious 😅
@@alexandralovesgoats7705 😁
@@jmw1683 the comeback tho! 👏
In simplist terms? Don't ask or say anything that you wouldn't want to hear from other people 🙂.
My Dad quoted ,"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"-Jesus
I am an open minded person so this doesn't really work.
this doesn't really work because not everyone has the same Idea of privacy. and simply many don't care /think about how the questions make you feel, because you are the polite one and not the intruder!
Another advice I can give: keep the conversation positiv and talk about positiv things, especially when you first meet people. It really doesn't leave a good impression when you talk rude, harsh and about negative things.
She is so right. I don't like people giving me religious/political/sexual views. Respect all religion, but can we not talk about it? I like how she said you don't have to voice everything you think. So true and inspiring.
Dear Anna, I'm not an elegant lady, I just strive for a natural personality. These advices are essential to me.
Thank you for the reminder, it was useful.
Basic rules unknown to many.
It is sad that ladies dont know the basics like these. Best requards Anna ⚘
My neighbor 🤫 she wont stop. It soooooo nosy.
Talk about baseless sophistication.
The most elegant lady I look up to and adore!
Me too I love her ❤️
Exactly Anna is just like an elder sister to me ! I really look upto her
Yes! She is the best.
@@Rasheens-Story which country are u from
@@toiletbug5909 Jamaican but I live in the US now
“Never ask of someone’s profession”
*Cries in German culture*
It was so embarrassing when I first arrived in Germany and people would ask me about my job/profession at first! I didn’t know it was such a common subject for Germans in daily conversation. It’s just very rude 😂
Also in England 😳
I’ve had people start asking me for legal or medical advice once somehow (not because of me), they found out what I did for a living and what I do now and I haven’t found it pleasant.
Hello Lady, in France to, I'm first doing that! Then I can tell somthing like "oh what is it" or "oh it's nice!" or "me too"... But, i'm happy to know that's it's not an appropriat question in forein contry.
India too
"You don't have to voice everything you think" so true
I agree. And that goes no matter your opinion, whether it's popular or not. You have to know your audience.
These “small” mistakes are easily made but make such a huge impact. Thank you for this video!
I love this type of video because it applies to every elegant lady, no matter where she is in her journey. Anna is so right! Words are so important, they are the ambassadors of our minds.
Exactly!! 💖
You described everything I hate about small talk. People always ask me where I work, what I do, then ask for advice, and how much things cost. I can’t stand it and it makes me want to end the conversation
Yes. I always feel irritated everytime my colleagues saying dirty jokes or joking about sex. It's really a turn off.
She's glowing my dear elegant ladies
She's gaining weight too..
@@SchoolActivitiesIdeas I think that would be one of those not so lady like remarks. Have a wonderful day ✨
@@IEVAKambarovaite well said
@@IEVAKambarovaite Elegantly stated. Brava. 🤗
@@deeluxeee
Your response was very elegant 😊
I was at a family function recently and my partner introduced me to his aunt. She said 'hi' and then straight away asked me what I did. Not even a line of a civil small talk or anything 😊
@@jessabeauty917 exactly
I really dislike this too. I think for a lot of people it’s just their way of creating a conversation, and they don’t realize how intrusive it can be!
When someone asks me what I do, I now reply with “I enjoy listening to classical music, excuse me for a few seconds please.” And I walk away for a bit to the restroom, then return with a change of topic. Lol
@@lavish_1717 brilliant reply ! It shows we "do" much more than our source of income, and are much more x
@@cath5645
Indeed 💞
I'm an accountant and get this all the time. People want tax or investment advise. The annoying thing is that it's impossible to give 5 minute advise as you need a lot more information to really help.
I used to be very sceptical about this channel, but I kept an open mind cause I was curious and I now I watch it religiously! I really appreciate videos on etiquette and good manners, so thank you for your hard work and good content!
One thing people should never do is try and do business at a wedding, funeral etc. Or in Church:-‘ no ‘clinching-deals’’.
I heard a story last year about a young woman handing out her business cards to guests at a wedding she attended😭
@@tianamiller6820 oh goodness! What a greedy sounding person. I suppose people just ‘forget themselves’ as well. Take care.
@@carolineassheton5624 which country are u from Japan
@@toiletbug5909 secret.
@@carolineassheton5624 I mean how's life there compared to india like I'm an average poor indian u can ask me anything I earn 50 dollar a month I'm a toilet cleaner work 12 hours a day no holiday there are a lot of rich people like Americans Europeans etc come and stay in hotel where I work how's life there what u do
I've made every mistake on this list.
😁🤣 You and me both.
😂😂😂Same
me too!!!hahahhahaha
Everybody honey, but once you practice and stop doing them you will atract respectful high value people too. Its never late.
Welcome to the club
It’s like when you make coffee and some one says I hate coffee coffee is bad for. Silence is better. I grew up in this environment and I am adamant in changing this for myself and my future
I absolutely hate when people ask what I do for living! I feel like answering "I breathe".
Parfait 🤩
I answer "Im a house wife / I exist/ I eat/ I breath / Im still wondering". Have joy!
Yes, you don't need to justify your existence to anybody
@@she_wizzdom4410
Keep them guessing.
Right on! 🤣
I was raised never to brag or discuss money b/c ppl are jealous and you could get robbed. Plus I know I don't like it when ppl brag so why would I do what I hate?
Me too!
"la vien en rose" playing in the background just set in the mood so well 🌹😍😍✨✨
Hi Anna, I am a most unlikely person to follow you. I am a 63 years old grandmother in a 18 year relationship with a great man who is the antithesis of the kind of man you are coaching your followers to acquire. Yet, I can't help listening to your beautiful accent, captivated by your pleasant demeanor and your lovely polished looks. You are refreshingly honest and authentic. I totally get you. Don't ever be discouraged by your critics. I wish I had someone like you to help me refine myself when I was young. ❤
Which country are u from Japan
I am from Hungary 🇭🇺
...actually I should say from Canada. I love my new country where I live for the last 40 years. I have lived her almost twice as long as in my country of birth so I am Canadian through and through, however my upbringing undoubtedly had an influence on my life and early life decisions.
@@agnesvamos4597 oh both country good how's life there compared to india like I'm an average poor indian u can ask me anything I earn around 50 dollar a month 12 hours work no holiday I'm a toilet cleaner there are a lot of rich people like Americans canadian Europeans etc come and stay in hotel where I work we live in a slum how's life there
@@agnesvamos4597 what happened
This is sound advice in social settings with acquaintances and strangers but not with someone you are dating. You actually have to discuss difficult topics with them.
Not talk about cancer? Impossible.I am an oncologist. 😁
mirjanara 😄😄
Then you should be smart enough to not do it when you aren't at work...
@Amber Mysteries I think she just meant in general, not when you need support.
😂
@Amber Mysteries I'm really sorry for what happen to you, I hope that everything is well now and that you have the right people by your side!!
When somebody tries to be nosy and ask me personal things about my life , i feel uncomfortable.
Can someone please help me on how to reply such nosy questions elegantly ?
I need help on this too
I feel very uncomfortable too but I try to remain calm. I don't reply to those type of questions (because honestly, we don't have to answer every single question) and I try to talk about something else (if I want to) or I just leave :)
knowing what to do would be great!
I say "I'm sorry. That's too personal to discuss."
If they persist, I keep repeating the above.
Eventually they will get the hint.
If they are nosy about someone I know I say
"I'm sorry. That's personal about so and so
who isnt here. I can't comment on that."
Have your reply ready.
Remember you are under no obligation to answer someone's nosiness.
Look them in the eye, smile and say "Why do you need to know?"
(A very successful and elegant man gave me this advice)
5:36 As a dental student, I get this one ALL the time! And sometimes it is very annoying. It's like, I'm at a party, I don't want to talk about "work", I just want to relax and have fun.
“elegantly disappear” I CANT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
It’s so nice to hear someone say that it’s inappropriate to ask people what they do. Thank you! I’ve always felt uncomfortable and offended when being asked this question. I never ask people what they do.
Maybe I don’t consider myself as such an elegant lady but I absolutely agree with this. 100% ! It is why I get along better with older “ serious”/“mature” adults , than with my young angsty coworkers .
I am absolutely loving your content. And I absolutely loved how you pointed out how we need to start “ .. taking other people into account” when we are interacting with them overall. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👑👑👑👑👑
Could you please make a video about how we're supposed to respond in an elegant manner when people ask questions related to income or anything inappropriate. Thank you for making these videos they're very helpful. Lots of love💕
True I really need this
You could say "That's personal. Why would you ask that?"
I am interested in this one as well :)
I have a great response that someone told me when someone is being nosy...politely say "Why do you ask?" Now they're on the spot instead of you😉
I was taught early on if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
My dad is a general practitioner and everytime we go anywhere it’s always “can you check out my rash?” Or “I’ve had this lump on my leg since...” and it makes us sick. When we’re at a Christmas party I don’t want to be looking at my neighbours rash. It’s horrid!
poor guy! Does he say if you make an appoint? or recommend them to another dr? how does he handle unsolicited people ?
@@ah5721 hey Amanda! No, he usually will give them general advice and tell them to consult their family physician. My dad is very kind and wise so he would never make them feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
@@Pealeah which country are u from Japan
@@toiletbug5909 Canada :)
@@Pealeah how's life in your country compared to india like I'm an average poor indians u can ask me anything I earn 50 dollar a month I'm a toilet cleaner 12 hours a day no holiday there are a lot of rich people like Canadians Europeans come and stay in hotel where I work we live in a slum how's life there what u do
Love this - I've definitely made a few of these mistakes and you certainly pay the price. In terms of taboo topics such as politics, it just helps to read the room or who you're speaking to. I find that rather than bringing the topic up myself, if the conversation drifts towards it it's a pleasant exercise in getting to know how someone thinks and how you might find common ground if you have differing opinions. It can be done elegantly, just always err on the side of caution and reason.
Beautifully said...
Some of the ladies in the comments don’t get that. Say it louder for these people!
@@dyancollins6894 your country
Omg, that professional advice thing! I can relate so much 😂 I’m a dentist. When people find it out they not only ask, they try to SHOW their problem immediately😅 So awkward😅
Instead of using the word “dating”, I use the terms “being courted” and I’ve noticed people gaze at me with awe and intrigue, especially men✨🌸✨
Anna, can you create a video on the appropriate topics to discuss? I do believe staying silent and observing surroundings before carefully choosing a reply to a question is the best elegant way to communicate. You’re right, I no longer go out of my way to provide my opinion if I’m not being asked for one and I avoid political, religious, and cultural discussions. 🙏🏻
Very wise of you lady, that will make you look more interesting and mysteriuos.
"Being courted" is elegant and misterious, thanks!, Im taking notes.
@@pamelabarrera4192 what country
Good advice Anna, but I'd like to add that you also shouldn't ask people about: whether they dye their hair, how tall or short they are, their weight, their age, and what they do all day when they're a stay at home parent.
Can we all just talk about the background music? Talking about elegance with La Vie En Rose playing in the background is a mood! s2 😍
Louis Armstrong Classic.
Loved the vibe
I thought the same. Music was perfect for her plus the birds singing ✅
Also, no swearing, cursing or blaspheming, especially as “vocabulary”. Sometimes, during a bad injury, a bad word will slip out, we almost can’t help it, then just say, excuse me and move on.
Which country are u from Japan
@@toiletbug5909 Are you by any chance implying that Japanese people don't swear? lol
@@DreamCatcher-wg1bk no i mean how's life there compared to india like I'm an average poor indian u can ask me anything I earn around 50 dollar a month I'm a toilet cleaner how's life in your country what u do
@F A It's actually not subjective at all, just not everyone cares about it, but it sounds as awful as swearing
The other thing thing that is very important (if speaking English), is English grammar. Some people who learned English as a foreigner do not realize that a double negative is used by the lower class, and uneducated. So, never say "I don't have no shoes", but rather "I don't have any shoes". Some of my friends from other countries say this, and It is hard to point this out to them, not wanting to embarrass them. Hard to learn the grammar, but so very important to English speakers, as we always judge people's education, (or lack of), by their grammar. Thanks so much for this video. So important.
As an American, I admire others who speak English as a non- native language, mistakes and all. Most of us Americans don't speak another language well enough to be coherent, let alone properly. Besides that, I think most accents are charming. 🇱🇷
As an American I do agree with this. I speak Greek as well as a second language and there's double negatives in that language. Truthfully I know the English language can be challenging but something like double negatives I think should be somewhat of a basic understanding - I would correct them but don't say it's lower class, obviously it's not there fault - and if they are not native, it's forgivable although I understand.
@@meagans1783 I agree that we are more forgiving with a speaker who is not a native of the language. Except for the use of the double negative, which is used by the uneducated, native English speakers. So we find that error unacceptable, where we are more forgiving of an error not made by a native speaker. I have never corrected anyone, unless the person is in my class, of course. I'm a Spanish teacher, the double negative is used in that language, but not in English!
@@vblackwell3347 I agree, accents are lovely. More Americans could speak more languages if we started 2nd language learning in Elementary School. By Middle or High School the children are too embarrassed, especially of their accent!
It is interesting that a person who can speak more than one language is judged by a native English speaker as a lower class and uneducated just because they used a double negative, while more often than not the English speaker does not even bother to learn another language 😐
Great video! And yes, I agree, as a doctor, I don't like to talk about my work outside the hospital! 💁🏼♀️
My favorite thing is to simply let others do the talking b/c I genuinely enjoy ppl in general. I find it's very easy to get information if you're genuinely happy and interested in the people you're talking to, like they're the only ppl in the world. Plus they want your company as they find you so pleasant to be around.
I can verify you need to tell people not to mix business in a social setting.
A wealthy couple invited my boyfriend and me to their home for dinner. Once the woman and I decided what day worked for all of us, she sent videos to my boyfriend of repairs needed in their home and asked my boyfriend if he could take care of the repairs in between cocktails.
Their intent of having us over was so obvious. We canceled. I have no desire to be friends with anyone who treats others that way.
Oh my goodness.
They are such tacky people!!! Glad you figured it out
Great video Anna! One of my pet peeves is when people ask where I want to work when I'm older. I'm 20, nothing is set in stone and I'm still lost, looking for my place in life. Yet it is usually one of the first questions I get from someone I just met along with "what do you do for a living?".
It's really annoying to deal with because I don't have a definitive answer to this question and it makes me feel even more insecure :( I wish people would stop making everything about work 😅
I love these short, straight to the point and very informative videos. Usually, when I see 20 minutes on a video, I start thinking whether or not to watch it now. But less minutes and I'm good 😁. Thank you, Anna.
Always love your videos! I especially loved your point on not asking professionals for free advice. One thing I think goes along really well with that is if a friend performs a professional service for you never ask for a discount. Friends pay full price to support their friends businesses. 💕
Another one, "have you put on some weigth"? That one is so uncomfortable. Anyways, I' ve read some of the comments below and see how ladies are sharing ideas and thoughts very respectfully, I really like that in this community. Greetings to all the elegant ladies.
The same for "have you lost weight"? Because for some it might be flattering but to others not, especially if it's a weight loss due to a disease that the other person doesn't know about
I am a thin woman that is constantly being told I need to eat. I HATE that. My answer has become, "I do eat. If I didn't I would have died by now." Then I quickly change the subject.
I love these fast-paced yet very easy-to-follow videos these days, Anna! I think it's very convenient for us, who also have a lot of things to do and needs time to watch your videos. It's very direct to the point with its explanations too. Thank you!
I hate this question: "what is your job?" ... Ladies, any advice on how to get out of this one? I don't understand people that meet you for the first time and literally that is their first question
@@AMoore-jm3md good one, ty! :D
@@AMoore-jm3md Thank you!
@@rap4369 Thank you! Good one
@Dyanne D... more insidious quest. is “ What do your oarents do?” Trying to figure out your father’s position especially is rude.
@@cUser691 I agree! It is so rude, I would say in this case ... " Oh, my parents ... If you will get to meet them one day, I will let them talk about that, my dad loves talking(big smile here, joking attitude). Better tell me what book are you reading now?" Or something similar
So so true.
Asking the question "What do you do"
Is very intrusive and rude . I thought I was the only one who thought this❤
I don’t wanna ask this too, but can I get suggestions of how to make conversation in a social environment pre Covid?
I agree with everything you said. Basically, think carefully about the things that escapes your mouth. An elegant lady must always be cautious about what she says in public. Now if you are in a private setting and you are with very intimate friends, then maybe you can let loose and be more frank and candid, as long as all of you are comfortable about it.
simply Anna teaching us how to be decent human beings
1 like for Kira
@@shinstantramen5169 respect
In Germany "What do you do in life?" is usually the second question after "What's your name?". 😂😂
Even in India too .
@@moonlover8924 will u marry a poor toilet cleaner like me
@@toiletbug5909 It’s inappropriate if people are only judged by their „social status“ - character and inner qualities is important but often don’t count. That will never change...
@@NICOLE-iz6lj yes 😭😭😭
@@NICOLE-iz6lj which country are u from for u what's important social status or what
Very important video really. I was asking men about their job to look 'smart' but now I realize that people socialise to forget about their job.
Spot on advice, Anna.....thank you! Something else I thought about that might fall under the “taboo topics”....medical conditions. I once worked with a woman who always openly shared her medical ailments. Some of them were very sensitive and I always felt terribly embarrassed for her because she made everyone around her visibly uncomfortable when she overshared! I’d be so quick to change the subject.
I'm not classy but would love to at least learn. Lots of people would buy expensive designer brand clothes and purses to look rich but I think class and elegance can also be seen in attitude and behaviour, that's the cheapest way to look rich so at least that's what I watch your videos for and subscribe to your channel.
You can be classy and elegant without owning expensive things. My mom and aunties were very refined ladies because they way they behaved, despite having very little in terms of material things. They spoke with kindness and care, used correct grammar, treated others with respect, read as much as they could, appreciated music and other arts, took excellent care of the very few dresses and jewelry pieces they owned, and made sure their hair was tidy, their nails were clean and buffed, their eyebrows were groomed, and their shoes were polished before they left the house. There are sooooooo many people who are wealthy and have no class!
@@irairod5160 You nailed it. Class comes from inside out, not the other way around. It’s more behavioural.
@Kimberly Jaymes what country
To me, the ugliest behavior for someone wealthy (or not) is treating people in a bad way. Especially people that are not of your "category" like customer service people, cleaning ladies. This includes ignoring them, talking down on them,... this is really bad because you are trying to make a statement that you are so much more worthy than the other person but it actually says the contrary 😉
I agree on everything and personally, I don’t like when they start talking about their relationships either... and then they expect you to do the same... 😳
Which country are u from Japan
I love that you make a point of saying that you used to make those mistakes in the past, and were much more impulsive, but decided you wanted to change and improve yourself. It really is clear that you teach and speak from direct experience. You are so knowledgeable and inspiring, and you channel is very helpful to me. Thank you Anna❤️
People need to listen to this. Well done Anna! I've always seen when people ask for professional advice in a social gathering,it's really awkward to the person who has to respond in his/her profession in front of common people. People put their profession back and go to the gatherings as normal people. People need to understand the Basic rules you've stated in this video. I personally think every lady out there needs to hear this! ♥️
Great advice on how to make sure that others feel comfortable around you.
How can we respond gracefully when people ask questions like “what do you do” “ where you live” “ how much you earn”?
"Why do you ask? What do YOU do?" Then change the subject after they reply.
@@selectiveoutrage6617 response: not nearly enough. How much do you earn? (Though not very elegant)
Some suggestions--
"I'm here to have fun/see the show/meet the baby and I'm hoping not to have to talk about work. You get it, right?"
"I work at something I love, but I leave work at work. Would you like to talk about your job? I don't mind listening."
"I earn enough for all my needs and most of my wants. More than than that, I feel it'd be inelegant to share."
"How much? That's classified information, and I want to keep it like that." [wink]
@@irairod5160
Very good!
Etiquette rules are the same in most cultures, because the humans are the same.. I agree with most of your videos, including this video, thank you our elegant lady, and peace be upon everyone from Saudi Arabia🤗💕.
People asked me many questions relating money in the past. How much money I make? Do I live or am I just surviving? How much and if I get a child maintenance money? How much my dad’s funeral cost and so on. How come I can afford wearing such expensive shoes to work? It annoys me but I always answer with a smile on my face: “We shouldn’t be talking about stuff like that should we?” 😊
Which country are u from Japan
So how old are you? 🤨 I've decided to not tell people anymore. Especially women. They don't like my answer, because I look younger and then they compare themselves to me. Ugh, so rude!
that happens to me often , I have a young face for my age. everyone get instantly envious especially women and I dont get taken seriously for my age to boot!
@@ah5721 which country
@@toiletbug5909 in the USA. The modern expectation here is to stay young looking as long as possible after 25 years old and use lots of creams etc to achieve it. I look 22 so most people think I'm unexperienced, like I just got out of college 😳. However, I am 31 and have lots of work/life experience most middle income people could never imagine.
@@ah5721 oh ok I'm 20 actually how's life there compared to india like I'm an average poor indian u can ask me anything I work 12 hours a day earn 50 dollar a month I'm a garbage picker we live in a slum how's life in your country compared to india like also can I follow u on instagram
@@toiletbug5909 depends on were you live. as a whole its alot more exspensive according to my friend Nithya . my weeks groceries in Rupis could feed a family for 3 months according to her. Taxes are about to go up. we make ends meet and both my husband and I work and we're getting more education so we can afford a home . my husband is a tradesman and fixes Air con. I and I work retail in a higher end paint store. I'm not leveled up yet. I just have a young face because I dont go outside, and a dont drink alcohol or smoke.
One thing I hear often that makes me cinrge is, "Oh, God."
Love you Anna you are such a beautiful teacher. So important to learn these boundrys in conversation. Some one recently came to my house for lunch a new friend and asked if we rent or own our house, I couldn't remember what to say, and was honest, but now im upset because I dont want to share my private information. Now I don't trust her and have my gards up. Why do people ask such questions ?
I am not sure how I stumbled upon Anna's videos but since I began watching them, the algorithm is pushed so many "elegance & femininity" videos into my recommendations. She is still undeniably my favorite.
It also rude to ask someone about their weight and age. So annoying when people do it
Your 100 % Right about everything that you have on your list ! I really enjoy learning how to improve myself ..
OMG! Thank you for confirming all these rules. My mother always touched me all these and I always think it's so rude when people trespass those boundaries.
Such good advice!!!
One of my aunts used to turn rude and/or unwanted questions back on the guilty party by asking…”Why do you need/want to know?” I still think that was clever and I smile when I think about it.
This is so helpful Anna, even though I never do any of these, it still was a great reminder. Thank you so much ❤
Truly important things to remember to avoid. It makes socialising so much easier. Another thing, my family and I were actually speaking about it earlier is how comfortable people are to say "you got fat" or "wow you look so pretty" it's such a backhanded compliment and so insulting and insensitive. Thank you for sharing these socialising gems Anna❣
Anna you nailed this video! I am a doctor and honestly everywhere I go I encounter people asking me medical advice! It is especially annoying at parties. You could consider to make a video on how to assertively buy elegantly answer to all the things you pointed out people should not ask/say when you are on the other side. That would be lovely. Love your content xx
I always appreciate your endeavors to teach people good manners. Being kind and considerate is so important.
im so grateful I was able to take your course this summer
love learning from you
Love the style quiz! It was fun to do and the result was bang on! I look forward to the workshop - thanks! 💐
I really appreciate this. #1 I am very guilty of. I say "ladies room", but I recently thought that I should just say, "Excuse me for a moment." Message received, Ana.
*I have been a supporter of yours since your jetset babes blog and it's been so inspiring seeing you grow and inspiring other women! will always support you. Love your content* ❤️
Hello Ana, I love all your videos! Thank you for taking the time to help us women be educated! I would love to see a video about what an elegant lady would wear to, examples : a wedding, a formal tea party, brunch, fancy dinner ect... Thanks and I hope your staying well!
No. 9 about that profession one is so true. Sometimes when I am in a party and just want to chill. Someone bumps and asks for advice. 😣😣
Tell them to call your office to make an appointment and you would be happy to help
Thank you Anna! I had a man come up to me in the streets the other day and he complimented me saying that I'm gorgeous and introduced himself and straight away asked: "So what do you do with yourself?" I thought that was so odd/intrusive and gave him a surprised and uncomfortable look because I was shocked to be asked that as the first thing.... So glad that I was actually not weird because I felt uncomfortable but you agree that it is, for men too, intrusive to ask "what do you do?" straight away 😌😊 !!
And also my friend and his parents always asking how much things cost - glad that you agree that it's not appropriate! Love watching your videos!
This video corrects everything wrong in society and social media today! Everybody needs to hear this! Well done!