How To Stay Classy In An Argument

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  • čas přidán 1. 02. 2020
  • In today’s video I talk about how to handle arguments with poise and grace! We can all agree that staying elegant during arguments is extremely important as opposed to causing scenes in public or even just exploding. Live a more fabulous future by taking part in my FREE workshop: fabulousfutureformula.com/
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    ⚜️WHO IS ANNA BEY?⚜️
    Anna Bey is an elegance expert and educator, teaching women how to transform their lives to enjoy a more refined personal presence and lifestyle. She's been featured in The Times UK, Newsweek, New York Post, Cosmopolitan and many more. For more information about Anna, visit: annabey.com
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    ❤️ Don't forget to subscribe to my channel, like, comment, and share if you liked this video and it was valuable to you. Thank you for watching!
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  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 1,1K

  • @iluhyoumucho
    @iluhyoumucho Před 4 lety +2028

    “Not every action deserves a reaction” ❗️

    • @mays_alpha
      @mays_alpha Před 4 lety +2

      Nice quote! 👌🏻 Impressed

    • @Vlindertjeab
      @Vlindertjeab Před 4 lety

      True.

    • @Rasheens-Story
      @Rasheens-Story Před 4 lety +10

      I agree, I usually ignore negativity and aggressive behavior. I tune it out and try to ignore it but that makes them get even more angry. ,🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @burgersandwich56
      @burgersandwich56 Před 3 lety +2

      Opposing newton

    • @suegreenland5989
      @suegreenland5989 Před 3 lety +1

      " turn your head a way from the ignorants"

  • @dellagillianwinterton969
    @dellagillianwinterton969 Před 4 lety +2146

    When I found out my then husband had another woman pregnant (we had our lawyers in the room) I could have got mad, but I didn't want to give him that pleasure. I took deep breaths, and asked him how many months along.
    He said 6 months. I asked, so you know if it's a boy or girl? He said that it was a girl. I replied and said, "well then our son will have a sister."
    When they walked out my lawyer congratulated me and said That she had never seen such a lady before. I promise, fighting only makes them happier, to see you weaker.. be above that!

    • @aditi1729
      @aditi1729 Před 4 lety +230

      DELLA GILLIAN Winterton Thats incredible! I would’ve never been able to do that! Sorry for the hurt it has caused you💔

    • @nothanks8305
      @nothanks8305 Před 4 lety +130

      Oh my gosh what is the rest of the story? What happened? You are surely a class-act!

    • @dellagillianwinterton969
      @dellagillianwinterton969 Před 4 lety +571

      That happened 10 years ago... lots of water under the bridge. But he still tries to press my buttons. I ignore him. Which I think drives him mad! My life has moved on, and I've done well. He's not working, and it seems he has serious problems. Which is probably why he tries to take it out on me. But my son and I are much happier, I have remarried... wedding on the beach. We have a new family and my son now has an older step sister too ❤ Karma... takes her time, but there is always a pay back... just wait patiently and elegantly. It will come

    • @nothanks8305
      @nothanks8305 Před 4 lety +149

      @@dellagillianwinterton969 Oh my gosh thank you sooo much for responding. What an encouraging story! I needed to hear this so bad after leaving my abusive Narcissist ex who arrogantly and systematically eroded my life I've a difficult time with regulating my emotions and wondering if being classy is just letting people off thee hook? I will never forget your story and the divine poise you demonstrated. What a lovely ending as well. Bless you!

    • @dellagillianwinterton969
      @dellagillianwinterton969 Před 4 lety +85

      Be strong... head up high! Don't let him erode you! You're WORTH SO MUCH MORE!!! Be positive, love who you are.

  • @devdev2904
    @devdev2904 Před 4 lety +698

    What I've learned from my therapist: "give a response, not a reaction".

    • @rivahaliya7668
      @rivahaliya7668 Před 3 lety +7

      OMG! This is actually a great motto. I'll take note ❤️

    • @rebeccacisco9420
      @rebeccacisco9420 Před 3 lety +13

      I love that. My therapist taught me to stay in the adult. People will try to take the parent role by talking down to you, or the child role where they are having a tantrum or being manipulative. If you refuse to play and stay in the adult, they will have to meet you there to have any interaction.

    • @conclavecabal.h0rriphic
      @conclavecabal.h0rriphic Před 3 lety +5

      What great advice! Thanks to both you abs your therapist for passing this along to us!

    • @chanelsdollstudio1423
      @chanelsdollstudio1423 Před rokem

      Wow I love that!

    • @noragaal3055
      @noragaal3055 Před 8 měsíci

      Thank you for sharing. would you like to give an example of how to give a response, not a reaction?

  • @BunsBooks
    @BunsBooks Před 4 lety +1309

    My main strategy for dealing with arguments is “don’t match the energy”. Do not match someone’s aggression or raised voice with your own, let them figure out that they are the ones acting like a fool. They usually calm down after they realize you won’t reciprocate the same behavior.

    • @KristaaRae
      @KristaaRae Před 4 lety +1

      lavendel yes!

    • @_angelicr
      @_angelicr Před 4 lety +13

      @Dream Dream Serene lmao me too it's so hard for me to keep my emotions in I just wanna express my anger but I'm definitely learning how to stay calm. If not for the other person, then for my own peace of mind.

    • @Black_pearl_adrift
      @Black_pearl_adrift Před 4 lety +12

      Absolutely. And being the calmn one not only makes it look like they're being over the top and unreasonable, but keeping your composure is great practice

    • @dixyhernandez9862
      @dixyhernandez9862 Před 4 lety +7

      Totally right “don’t match the energy “ always works for me too .

    • @Lovelyleyy
      @Lovelyleyy Před 4 lety +1

      Very true

  • @wt4451
    @wt4451 Před 4 lety +858

    I need to watch this every month before my period approaches. PMS really messes my hormones up...

    • @claudiaclaudia8599
      @claudiaclaudia8599 Před 4 lety +44

      W T Honestly,hormones are truly hard to control.

    • @tcjones4386
      @tcjones4386 Před 4 lety +41

      W T : You may want to to some reading about the positive effects of calcium and magnesium, really all nutrients, but focus on calcium.

    • @palomac7041
      @palomac7041 Před 4 lety +12

      Birth control helped me with my irritability and paranoia

    • @Jenierf
      @Jenierf Před 4 lety +10

      Me too!!! Omg so accurate.

    • @ilonav54
      @ilonav54 Před 4 lety +3

      That’s true

  • @ronnetteharvey2002
    @ronnetteharvey2002 Před 4 lety +230

    I love walking away. When they say where are you going I say I can't talk to you like this. They go nuts.
    I haven't been angry in about 8 years.

    • @Magpieme98
      @Magpieme98 Před 4 lety +31

      ronnette harvey I learned this too and it’s been life changing. I used to think I had to settle a disagreement or argument then and there regardless of how out of control I was feeling. Walking away gives you time to rethink, calm down and not “lose it.” It also takes all the aggression out of the situation. It takes two to fight and if one is calm and doesn’t react, it takes the tension away.

    • @rebeccacisco9420
      @rebeccacisco9420 Před 3 lety +8

      I think we, as women, have a tendency to panic and think a situation has to be resolved now or sonethibg bad will happen.. Then we cause the bad.
      I do the same, when people ask me where I am going, I say, "I need to think over what you have said." It makes them feel validated while buying me time to organize my responses.

    • @AlyssaTheePatriot
      @AlyssaTheePatriot Před 2 lety +7

      Walking away, the greatest weapon in an argument...

  • @jessicaparmenter3047
    @jessicaparmenter3047 Před 4 lety +472

    If it’s not going to matter in five years, then don’t waste five minutes getting upset over it. 💋♥️

    • @love-zh5ek
      @love-zh5ek Před 4 lety +6

      Jessica Rumler I needed this comment 💜thx

    • @jessicaparmenter3047
      @jessicaparmenter3047 Před 4 lety +1

      Rain Reign ♥️🥰

    • @donne32701
      @donne32701 Před 4 lety +1

      Yassssssss wheaty Shea taught me that

    • @rozepyracantha5574
      @rozepyracantha5574 Před 4 lety +6

      If it's not going to matter in 5 weeks...5 years is a long time to judge like that.

    • @chetnadethe8172
      @chetnadethe8172 Před 3 lety +1

      Thanks Jessica.. that was the nicest lesson I learnt today

  • @tabithatrenary8498
    @tabithatrenary8498 Před 4 lety +120

    What helps me not get angry is remembering the other person doesn’t have anything that I desperately need. I don’t need their approval, validation, acceptance, etc. Then I’m free to listen to them which usually disarms them of their anger. It’s worked for me for years. 😃👍

  • @kinndah2519
    @kinndah2519 Před 4 lety +669

    I was raised on the notion "Don't raise your voice, improve your points."
    In our culture, 1 who holds themselves elegantly, is grateful, is eloquent, and educates themselves, regardless of financial status, is classy. That rule is set in stone in our Druze culture.
    I also can't agree more with the therapy advice. Keeping my emotional health in check and always having guidance is important and decreases stress significantly. Even if I go just once a month.

    • @JenniferLaVine99
      @JenniferLaVine99 Před 4 lety +2

      Kindah this is a very well said point

    • @RoaringMind
      @RoaringMind Před 4 lety +17

      I will hold this advice in high regard 🌞 I have a problem with getting heated and raising my voice. It comes from my upbringing and I’m trying to change that.

    • @marah3298
      @marah3298 Před 4 lety +1

      Kindah very well said

    • @kinndah2519
      @kinndah2519 Před 4 lety +16

      RoaringMind I'm proud of you for being disciplined and intelligent enough to try to change.👏 Even tho temper wasn't a challenge for me in life, other things were. I let many things get to me mentally that hindered me from being the best I could be at 1 point. It resulted in wasted time, resources, and money. In the past almost 5 yrs, I've done so much mental training for my mind to move past negative things and ppl. I used to let it all sadden me, make me panic, and lead me to depression. Improvement didn't happen overnight, but I got there. Best of luck to you.💛

    • @AnilTheReligiousRider
      @AnilTheReligiousRider Před 4 lety +1

      Kindah just one solution of your depression "Find yourself" who are you ?
      When you got the answer of this question then you you will feel Happy and a free minded 🐦

  • @janah7416
    @janah7416 Před 4 lety +709

    I adore that sweater-earrings combination! ♥️

  • @callalilly4743
    @callalilly4743 Před 4 lety +81

    I'd like to sign up my entire family for this silent retreat.

  • @hensmom6473
    @hensmom6473 Před 4 lety +464

    The scripted "reality housewife" show is full of fake women, greed, jealousy & high drama. They argue and fight continually making women look bad. We need more shows with women doing good positive things for others and showing healthy friendships.

    • @miaselah5511
      @miaselah5511 Před 4 lety +10

      Here you have your well deserved LIKE! 👏👏👏

    • @MsRickylynn
      @MsRickylynn Před 4 lety +13

      "Housewife" shows are full off FtM. Those aren't women. Women, don't do that. Fighting like that is a masculine thing.

    • @bintahmad9295
      @bintahmad9295 Před 4 lety +2

      I agree ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @_angelicr
      @_angelicr Před 4 lety +7

      So true. I wish people would stop watching such shows & wasting their time. I've never been the type of person to spend my time or energy watching something like that. Women who do that are just full of hate, jealousy & bitterness. Drama queens, it's so unattractive.

    • @sammarie8923
      @sammarie8923 Před 3 lety +4

      @@MsRickylynn lol just because it’s bad behavior doesn’t make them transitioning, you should watch how you use FTM and terms as such. You might offend someone of that community!

  • @Briae
    @Briae Před 4 lety +339

    This is for sure the most difficult lesson to learn for so many of us. I usually go on runs 10 km or more when I am angry. I take a full hour to run it all out.

    • @miiriiaaam
      @miiriiaaam Před 4 lety +8

      I agree, most difficult lesson !!

    • @itsceza
      @itsceza Před 4 lety +16

      Working out angry is the best reliever!! Plus it fuels to workout even harder! ... 🤪

  • @irenewottreng9762
    @irenewottreng9762 Před 4 lety +601

    Dr Kevin Leeman said long ago, just say, “ You could be right.” and then walk away.😎

    • @lizbdt4247
      @lizbdt4247 Před 4 lety +29

      This is a good one.. I'll try to remember it

    • @rushdialrashed9627
      @rushdialrashed9627 Před 4 lety +8

      Irene Wottreng wooooow! 👌

    • @JudgeJulieLit
      @JudgeJulieLit Před 4 lety +6

      @@julijakeit * How to Win Friends and Influence People

    • @violet807
      @violet807 Před 4 lety +2

      You could be right, in Backwards Land!Smile and leave

    • @selectiveoutrage6617
      @selectiveoutrage6617 Před 4 lety +11

      I had a boyfriend years ago who'd say, "Maybe you are right." It annoyed me! He'd also say things like "We'll see."

  • @kritikitti3868
    @kritikitti3868 Před 4 lety +535

    Proverbs 29: 9 If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he laugh or rage, there is no rest. 😘 Best to walk away if possible.

    • @Noname-uy5oo
      @Noname-uy5oo Před 4 lety +35

      Kritikitti Thanks for the comment! I never knew there was a bible verse like this; sadly. Getting my bible out right now and highlighting it!

    • @candyluna2929
      @candyluna2929 Před 4 lety +37

      @@Noname-uy5oo proverbs are awsome.

    • @Noname-uy5oo
      @Noname-uy5oo Před 4 lety +5

      CandyCandy Agreed! ❤️

    • @womanatthewell9603
      @womanatthewell9603 Před 4 lety +41

      Yes, the Bible has much to say about relationships. Thank God Jesus cares about our emotion and provides an open way for all to enter into a relationship with Him.

    • @businesslady7840
      @businesslady7840 Před 4 lety +9

      And here come the Christians and their bible quotes 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Christians will take a cookie recipe and make it all about religion 🤦.

  • @CandynDaddy4ever
    @CandynDaddy4ever Před 4 lety +131

    *My Dear Elegant Ladies....* ❤

  • @MissBlissyful
    @MissBlissyful Před 4 lety +99

    “Once you’re above the need of validation where you’re proving them wrong or having the last word said, when it doesn’t matter so much, when you don’t care, you set yourself free...” Powerful.

  • @Mmmmkaaay
    @Mmmmkaaay Před 4 lety +209

    I noticed that using "I messages" really work.
    " I feel frustrated when you interrupt me. May I please finish?"
    " I feel scared when you raise your voice. Would you be willing to lower your tone?"
    Taking ownership of our feelings and then asking for what we want is quite effective.

    • @ilonav54
      @ilonav54 Před 4 lety +17

      Lady Bohemia tried that with my husband, it doesn’t work with him. He is deaf to that.

    • @user-wj1hc4bm1r
      @user-wj1hc4bm1r Před 4 lety +24

      Sounds like you’re a slave to your partner, if anything, avoid the please. Shouldn’t have to beg for them to shut up and let you speak. What you say, “it is now my turn to speak, should I finish?” “You make me feel disrespected when you unnecessarily raise your voice, lower your tone if you want to speak about this.” DONT BE A PUSH OVER LADIES

    • @chetnadethe8172
      @chetnadethe8172 Před 3 lety

      I usually ignore or laugh

    • @syahirahabdullah3210
      @syahirahabdullah3210 Před 3 lety +4

      this doesn't work with narcisissts... they don't give a damn about my emotions. Instead, they'll use it as a means to attack or guilt-trip me.

  • @shannonrolfes5171
    @shannonrolfes5171 Před 4 lety +64

    I try to live by the motto "You never regret taking the high road."

  • @ambitionisamust1204
    @ambitionisamust1204 Před 4 lety +66

    That low bun and ear rings is a “golden” combination!

  • @eva-nr2bs
    @eva-nr2bs Před 4 lety +433

    I agree with managing the action of "screaming","being drama queen" BUT it is OK to get angry,it is OK to let people know that you are upset. If you don't, and you will hide your anger in layer of "fake calmness" then that's path that leads to powerlessness and depression.........

    • @etrebelle9812
      @etrebelle9812 Před 4 lety +65

      I find very useful to take a silent breath, count to 3, and then calmly state 3 facts. The facts that define your point of view or the situation. And then politely let go.

    • @eva-nr2bs
      @eva-nr2bs Před 4 lety +1

      @@mariaalmasani :-)

    • @eva-nr2bs
      @eva-nr2bs Před 4 lety +2

      @@etrebelle9812 :-)

    • @sxs311
      @sxs311 Před 4 lety +72

      I think she means in the context of public situations, say a work environment where you can't fully express anger to other people - not just because of professionalism, but because you don't know them well enough to do that. And if you DO want to let someone know, then don't react in the moment, calm down, organise your thoughts and then tell them. I agree with you that it's really important to tell peolpe, especially as someone who has a tendency to bottle up my emotions, and I would with family and friends, but for less personal situations her advice is good to stop us from wasting energy on people who, in the grand scheme of things, are unimportant in our lives

    • @tcjones4386
      @tcjones4386 Před 4 lety +56

      Learning to control yourself and your emotions is not ‘fake’ or a lack of ‘keeping it real’.
      Think of it this way, your behavior and emotions can be like a pet dog. You can choose to never train or control that dog and experience the chaos it causes you, OR you can put it on a leash and give it obedience classes. Which pet is the most enjoyable to be around and experience? Is a trained leashed dog less of a dog? Of course not. Be in control of yourself, don’t let your emotions control you.

  • @christianlady
    @christianlady Před 4 lety +519

    I was very aggressive in arguing before. Then I developed my relationship with Jesus Christ and my life is full of love and I argue less, calm, gentle than before. Sometimes when I am offended I think that WWJD then I’ll let go. You can try it😊

    • @MissJLynXO
      @MissJLynXO Před 4 lety +35

      I can relate to your post 100%.

    • @kiwi5118
      @kiwi5118 Před 4 lety +46

      I agree 2000% Christian Lady🙂

    • @christianlady
      @christianlady Před 4 lety +42

      J. P. Jesus loves you . I meditate too on the words in the Bible daily. It does help a lot

    • @christianlady
      @christianlady Před 4 lety +10

      LN SB Thank you

    • @Noname-uy5oo
      @Noname-uy5oo Před 4 lety +28

      This is the fruit of the Holy Spirit! God bless you ❤️

  • @LeonaZiyan
    @LeonaZiyan Před 4 lety +289

    I love you lolllll. Your true, authentic self is shining through these recent videos, the sass, the wit... Love it. Love you, thank you for existing.

    • @Jenierf
      @Jenierf Před 4 lety +6

      OHNANAZ I love her too. I have learned so much since I find this channel, my life has improved. Im so grateful I wish her the bess and include her in my prayers 💖

  • @BTSDimplyBean
    @BTSDimplyBean Před 4 lety +61

    I promise I will do all of these when I plan my arguments in the shower then return to being a stuttery/anxiety ridden mess when it comes to the real thing 👍

    • @maryamjxydbfb
      @maryamjxydbfb Před 3 lety

      Why is this so relatable 😂😂😂

    • @rebeccacisco9420
      @rebeccacisco9420 Před 3 lety

      Awwww. I understand that so much. When you know your points are valid and iron clad, take a deep breath and talk slowly and make your points. Stop and take deep breaths when you need to buy time. It takes practice but you will get there.

    • @chanelsdollstudio1423
      @chanelsdollstudio1423 Před rokem

      YES

  • @ipsygypsy16
    @ipsygypsy16 Před 4 lety +221

    I've learnt, very painstakingly, to remain composed in volatile situations. It's taken me a lot of energy and focus. But it will all fly out of the window when I'm dealing with Mommy Dearest :D. How many of us will agree that it's our mothers who can break our "cool" at the snap of a finger? 😃😃

  • @ziyandapalesatutu5633
    @ziyandapalesatutu5633 Před 4 lety +74

    Just had an argument and became so heated. Too late 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @asmrchilly6477
      @asmrchilly6477 Před 4 lety +6

      Girl same!! I'm legit watching this after having a heated argument with my fiance 😬 ooppss...

    • @chinenyeekwe985
      @chinenyeekwe985 Před 4 lety +9

      It's alright girls. U can start over

    • @_angelicr
      @_angelicr Před 4 lety +4

      You should try journaling or think about better ways to deal with it next time. Or try to do some introspection & change the way you perceive the person or the situation. I always try to change my negative thoughts into something more constructive.

    • @jonestasha901
      @jonestasha901 Před 3 lety +1

      Oops

    • @suzietha
      @suzietha Před 3 lety +3

      Don't regret. The moment has passed.

  • @woinshetbeauty
    @woinshetbeauty Před 4 lety +222

    Anna you taught me how to become more of a woman everyday and feel confident.
    You are like my big sis and I love u ❤️
    U inspired me to even start my own channel, even though it’s not about teachings and I still did not upload any serious contents yet, but am on it 🙏🏾

  • @claudiaclaudia8599
    @claudiaclaudia8599 Před 4 lety +106

    Having kids is the best way to learn how to control your emotions.However,most of the people aren’t ready for the job.

    • @darianaid9908
      @darianaid9908 Před 4 lety +32

      Claudia Claudia I see parents screaming their heads off at their kids all the time. And mostly for tiny things like when they drop an ice cream cone..

    • @claudiaclaudia8599
      @claudiaclaudia8599 Před 4 lety

      daria naid What country are you in?

    • @byarugabaannet5268
      @byarugabaannet5268 Před 4 lety +6

      Claudia Claudia you're right, I'm a teacher and kids have taught me how to be calm ,and patient .

    • @homemakingandhealing4767
      @homemakingandhealing4767 Před 4 lety +21

      I think people would be better off as would the children if people learned this BEFORE having and working with children. But in a perfect world, right? Lol

    • @cherrellebrooks8488
      @cherrellebrooks8488 Před 4 lety +5

      Claudia Claudia there’s really no way to know what you’re getting yourself into becoming a parent until you’re there 😳😁🤣 All the preparation in the world just doesn’t compare to the real task. On top of that, each child brings their own set of challenges and rewards. You’ll sacrifice so much for the position, but society doesn’t support your choice of doing so depending on which country you live in.

  • @preziosa2461
    @preziosa2461 Před 4 lety +38

    "We need to let our aggressiveness out sometimes, which is why physical exercise is quite good, in particular KICK BOXING" 💀💀💀😂😂 I love you Anna 💓

  • @juliettedelta
    @juliettedelta Před 4 lety +39

    This Bordeaux color is incredible!

  • @ah5721
    @ah5721 Před 4 lety +19

    Therapy + a martial art is what has helped me when I feel like yelling and screaming at people.
    I get my emotions out in a healthy way so I can calmly deal with situations. You can stand up for yourself without being a door mat and being physically/verbally attacking others.

  • @samanthacederblom9358
    @samanthacederblom9358 Před 4 lety +15

    I feel blessed to have had a mother and grandmother teach me from a young age the importance if elegance. The city I grew up in was full of women and young girls who carry themselves so poorly. As I get older I recognize the importance of what my mother taught me and how uncommon this knowledge is. Anna, you truly are giving back to the world as We are in a time of need for more class and elegance. Thank you.

  • @bsce100
    @bsce100 Před 4 lety +4

    You know, I am not going to lie... I wasn't a fan of this channel before because I can't support the notion of acting a certain way to attract rich men. I am a successful woman and I achieved my success all on my own and I don't need nor want a rich man to support my lifestyle. I believe all woman should try to become successful on their own without relying on a man for financial support, but I also understand that everyone has different circumstances or desires so I don't judge. Anyway, having said that, I definitely could use lessons on how to be more classy just for my own self-worth so I am starting to appreciate the advice that Anna is providing, especially the ones in this video. I really need to learn how to chill when my entire existence is tried. Thank you, Anna.

  • @pennywheeler2598
    @pennywheeler2598 Před 4 lety +29

    I was always taught to:
    Take 15 seconds and breathe deeply and ask yourself is this worth fighting about. If you had a bad day admit it and don't take it out on someone else. My mom would always told me:
    "Choose your battles wisely."

  • @ijayirene7152
    @ijayirene7152 Před 4 lety +148

    Did anyone notice her hairr❤❤❤

    • @Jenierf
      @Jenierf Před 4 lety +6

      ijay irene I don’t like it, I think she looks older. I love her anyway tho

    • @janviprakash3383
      @janviprakash3383 Před 4 lety +1

      @@Jenierf yeah so true

  • @zestrus11
    @zestrus11 Před 4 lety +39

    Emotional intelligence! YES, now this is a great topic to teach young ladies. You're a phenomenal teacher

  • @pameladaim3963
    @pameladaim3963 Před 4 lety +23

    Additional tip, which I found to help me with stress and panicking as well! Instead of simply taking a deep breath, breathe in and hold your breath for ten seconds. Then let it out.

  • @ChristaBello
    @ChristaBello Před 4 lety +20

    Meditation and Mindfulness are MIRACULOUS at calming emotion.

  • @glorianelson9538
    @glorianelson9538 Před 4 lety +1

    Kickboxing by all means. You leave feeling strong, refreshed and a lot calmer. You kicked and punched your anger and frustrations. Our instructors give us "visuals" too and boy does that work! Running is another great way to let out steam and get rid of bad karmas. Thank you Anna!

  • @danellae.perezschmieloz5958

    Anna I'm a married 27 year old woman, I love your videos and I think you are very wise in various aspects. I think what you are doing takes courage and is very relevant because you are reviving traditional womanhood. You are also very humble and that is notable. My favourite videos are the ones about being elegant.

  • @halcyondays8945
    @halcyondays8945 Před 4 lety +67

    I’m usually so calm and chill but I let my temper get to me after dealing with my grouchy sister all weekend. I had just HAD it and found myself screaming at her “you need to get it together and stop being SO ANGRYYYY and acting like a 6 year old!” The moment the words left my mouth I thought of the “lady yelling at cat” meme and realized the irony of me SCREAMING at her to get her temper under control. I was sooooo embarrassed.
    It wasn’t worth it, you’re right. It never is. I started meditating and self evaluating a lot after that. It was a low moment and out of character. I’m determined to never lose my dignity like that again.
    Thank you for the excellent tips! I really liked the one about just going to your happy place and selectively tuning them out. I’m going to try that the next time I get spicy!

    • @violet807
      @violet807 Před 4 lety +4

      Your sister wants to be heard. Repeat to her what she said so that she knows you sympathize. "So you say there is not enough ice in your drink?"

    • @halcyondays8945
      @halcyondays8945 Před 4 lety

      Violet That’s very perceptive - thank you. I love it! I’ll try that.

    • @rainsblue5727
      @rainsblue5727 Před 3 lety

      Lady yelling at cat😂😂👌 point to be noted!

  • @paromitamukherjee9427
    @paromitamukherjee9427 Před 3 lety +4

    You're doing a public service Anna. A lot of what you are teaching goes beyond finding a partner, and being a better, more refined version of ourselves. I have been trying to do that with education, but I realise I have yet so much to learn. Keep up the good work!

  • @ourhouse
    @ourhouse Před 4 lety +29

    Thank you for all the free content you give us. It has really made me reflect, think and make changes. I only wish I would have learned this all 15 years ago!

  • @southernbelle7295
    @southernbelle7295 Před 4 lety +25

    You do like like an elegant lady when your hair fixed this way. Lovely, classy!

  • @adrianarusso3754
    @adrianarusso3754 Před 4 lety +3

    Definitely going to think that is not about feeling superior towards someone , but is about being superior to myself emotions.
    Thank you Anna!

  • @maureenkramanak7003
    @maureenkramanak7003 Před 4 lety +33

    Good morning, Anna. This is exactly what I needed today. In my job, I deal with angry, overly emotional, and sometimes even violent individuals on a daily basis. It is difficult to remain composed when someone is calling you names and throwing things at you. I am going to employ the “silent listening” technique this week, and will watch this video for reinforcement.

    • @ejay.u3373
      @ejay.u3373 Před 4 lety +9

      I have a similar problem, my anger is usually at work. I work with trashy people who have no manners and respect. I have to deal with rudeness from my boss and other senior colleagues. Sometimes I just feel like screaming at their faces. Lol but I know I'll get fired, so I have to remain calm. I'm leaving this year to be in a place where I can be happy and stress free. No work is worth our anger!

  • @LyrasRaven
    @LyrasRaven Před 4 lety +5

    You were an amazing example on a talk show where you were interviewed by two people who were dead set on making you look bad. You were so graceful and made them look crass by being unfazed and composed. I started following you because I was amazed at your intelligence. I didn’t agree with your lifestyle (bagging rich men) but I thought “whoa she’s good. I could learn a thing or two from this woman”

  • @eluby
    @eluby Před 4 lety +26

    I love that you started wearing glamorous earrings. So beautiful!

  • @pamelavalencia7334
    @pamelavalencia7334 Před 4 lety +7

    I did the first two in a long time ago, and people always says I'm patient eversince! The rest is easier after you did the first two 🥰

  • @MsRickylynn
    @MsRickylynn Před 4 lety +7

    Anytime I watch, I have to change my outfit. When in Anna's presence I level up!

  • @eva-nr2bs
    @eva-nr2bs Před 4 lety +132

    One more comment from me. You look "beautiful" with this mahogany color and these earrings :-)

  • @kissyqilla6620
    @kissyqilla6620 Před 4 lety +110

    Stay calm speak with a smile nothing hurts more than ignoring what non sense people have to say 😏 Just drink your wine and smile😏

  • @corynavargas8286
    @corynavargas8286 Před 4 lety +4

    LOVE the part you said about the emotions dissolving once you are self aware and able to observe those emotions instead of reacting to them!!!! 🤯🤩🤩🤩

  • @discod
    @discod Před 4 lety +53

    I think there is a happy medium with this. No, we don’t want to fly off the handle, but being an emotionless robot and tuning out the other person can add to the problem.

    • @RoaringMind
      @RoaringMind Před 4 lety +5

      I agree, tuning them out may occasionally have its place, but it is a strategy that we must approach with caution.

    • @neo1053
      @neo1053 Před 4 lety

      @@RoaringMind agreed

    • @neo1053
      @neo1053 Před 4 lety

      Yep

  • @ElizabethRegal1
    @ElizabethRegal1 Před 2 lety +1

    I loved the proving oneself for validation and how that parallels with self esteem. The consistent need to be seen, heard, validated, and having that “one up” on the situation is a result of such past trauma that needs to be healed. Living in crazy Los Angeles for 21 years I’ve witnessed so much of that screaming and crazy aggressive fighting matches even on the Highway. That was even my old self and old pattern I needed to process. This is a great video. 🙏

  • @angelic3450
    @angelic3450 Před 4 lety +54

    Great content!
    PS: I love the bun in your hair. Would you be willing to do a video on elegant and easy ways to do our hair ?

    • @VioletRaya
      @VioletRaya Před 4 lety

      Angelic I was about to comment the same

    • @vblackwell3347
      @vblackwell3347 Před 4 lety

      If you're interested in knowing how to do your hair in a chignon, it's quite easy. Start with medium length hair (can be above shoulders) & wrap it around a hair accessory that literally looks like a donut. Then bobbypin it to your head. Surly there's many You Tube "how to" showing it. It's actually quite simple, QUICK & as you see, elegant. 👍😍

  • @santanicopandemonium6333
    @santanicopandemonium6333 Před 4 lety +5

    Mind blowing explanation on how to stay classy on a heated argument with every annoying person we might encounter. Great content here again Anna you can be a resource motivational speaker

  • @GoddessBlessYou
    @GoddessBlessYou Před 4 lety +35

    I'm loving the increasing depth of your videos.

  • @fromflabtofourteener9596
    @fromflabtofourteener9596 Před 4 lety +2

    Deeeeeep breath... mentally step away from the situation. And therapy is an incredible thing. After my dad passed (he and I were best friends) I was losing it on a daily basis. A good therapist helped me get through the grief, taught me how to manage my emotions, and gave me ways to maintain my composure in a day-to-day setting. Worth every penny!

  • @tubaeda312
    @tubaeda312 Před 4 lety +2

    I had the exact same situation today and I’m so grateful that I’ve watched this video and stayed calm! It was such a negative situation and I would’ve cried out of anger in the past. But today I stayed calm asked the other person to go to another room and did not had the need to have the last word. Thank you Anna!

  • @eboli7146
    @eboli7146 Před 4 lety +10

    I have a few ways of dealing w anger:
    - meditation definitely helps put a “space” between you and your thoughts and means I am better at objectively observing anger, and whether it’s really warranted or whether it’s partly coming from fears/ insecurities in me
    - have a vent to a close friend (obviously not all the time) - or vent into a diary
    - anger comes with a HUGE amount of energy and I try to channel it into something productive like exercise or house cleaning haha
    - if someone is abusive towards me and I am starting to feel angry I just disengage, block them and go be with better people. They are not worth my peace of mind !!
    - I sometimes get impatient about incompetent / stupid people. I breathe and remember not everyone is as lucky as me to have high standards 😂😂😂

  • @yas3450
    @yas3450 Před 4 lety +5

    Nothing makes me feel more powerful than working through an emotion internally (including therapy and physical exercise) instead of acting out for instant gratification! Excellent advice Anna, as always.

  • @palomac7041
    @palomac7041 Před 4 lety +15

    I want to know Ana from 10 years ago, she sounds fun. Jokes aside thank you for all the great advice. I’m trying to improve my temper

  • @unpopulardollsdontreadrepl8453

    As an Aries I used to argue a lots..but with time I learned to save my energy...I bite my tongue and think "ok what's the point in being right at the end"?

    • @nottoday7204
      @nottoday7204 Před 4 lety +6

      Stool Posts omg stop spreading this false informations and do some research

    • @enaibee1661
      @enaibee1661 Před 4 lety +5

      @@nottoday7204 horoscopes are not real research

    • @vanessacarrera3868
      @vanessacarrera3868 Před 4 lety

      unpopular dolls don't read replies same also an Aries but I’ve gotten so calm

    • @Nobody-pv5zz
      @Nobody-pv5zz Před 4 lety +1

      Not Today think they were being sarcastic

    • @whaleofathyme
      @whaleofathyme Před 3 lety

      Oof, I'm a Scorpio and it can be hard sometimes; (apparently) we bottle our emotions and love revenge, but I first understand the person is angry, and just kinda distract myself with how I'm going to say my response in a way that will state my side, but not make them feel worse. I'm angry, but I can't get angrier than the other person, and instead make myself pleasant to talk to even if we disagree. Especially if the argument is a sensitive topic and if someone is already upset.

  • @sandy949
    @sandy949 Před 4 lety +43

    I have a temper at times but have learned to under react in a spirited discussion or argument and it actually disarms the other person in some ways. It’s a stealth move.

  • @camillathornhill8230
    @camillathornhill8230 Před 4 lety +9

    Agree with everything here. As a hot tempered Latino this is obviously a huge one for me to learn🔥🔥🙄

  • @saumyavalvai5399
    @saumyavalvai5399 Před 4 lety +21

    And I just came upstairs and banged the door after fighting with my mom.. 😅 perfect timing..!! Love from India.. 💖

  • @ZyciewKanadzieAnitaBeataVlog

    Hi Anna. You are absolutely right:often we can't control situations, but we should be able to control our reactions to them. I used to get worked up about things at work beyond my control and after not only I felt like c..p, but also people who were around me weren't very happy about my reactions. Now, I think first, I compose myself and try to stay calm. It works. Greetings from Ontario 😘

  • @staceydelbucchia2576
    @staceydelbucchia2576 Před 4 lety +5

    Thank you...I truly agree...I have learned to calm down the Italian in me...I feel being ladylike y not so dramatic all the time is a beautiful thing...have a blessed day💖💕

  • @honeybunny7647
    @honeybunny7647 Před 4 lety +5

    You are amazing and I’m so happy that you’re on CZcams you have really changed my life😊

  • @Sveiksmobile
    @Sveiksmobile Před 4 lety +2

    Dear Anna, Your videos and information is refreshing and sensible. I am an older lady, and I am applying your insight and lessons. My life is transforming in a beautiful way that I never thought was possible. This video reminds me that dignity and grace are always within me, no matter the circumstances

  • @ninaahmad1352
    @ninaahmad1352 Před 4 lety +10

    It is good to reply with humour.

  • @mily87ful
    @mily87ful Před 4 lety +8

    Oh gosh I need a 2 year class regarding this 🙃

  • @OlgaPogozheva
    @OlgaPogozheva Před 4 lety +32

    Nice tips! I remember you asking ladies here what they’d do when in an argument 🙂 nice way of going a research! 😊 On my part, I’ve learned how to stay classy in an argument, and that took almost a quarter of a century for me 👵🏻

    • @leonorabruno84
      @leonorabruno84 Před 4 lety +2

      A quarter of a century, young lady? For me nearly TWO quarters of a century! But, finally, I got it. Best regards, L.

    • @OlgaPogozheva
      @OlgaPogozheva Před 4 lety +2

      @@leonorabruno84 I'm 32 now :) but yes, I managed to stay calm at 25-26 in nearly most of the situations. When I do give in, I do it on purpose :)))

  • @tigergirl906
    @tigergirl906 Před 2 lety +1

    I’ve also sat Vipassana Anna. I sat twice and served in kitchen once. It’s the marathon of meditation and life-changing. Xx

  • @mellyholly
    @mellyholly Před 4 lety +2

    Oh this is a great video! Anna-showing us all how to live our best life. I’m actually going to send this video to my 16 year old niece who has a difficult time regulating her emotions currently just so she can understand where it stems from. I love how you educate as well as show us how to be more elegant and live our best lives too! 😊

  • @mochadasmoka
    @mochadasmoka Před 4 lety +7

    i’d love to see a home tour, you have such a beautiful filming set-up 😍

  • @ashreetis625
    @ashreetis625 Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you for being so open to your self growth and giving us tips for self-composure.

  • @Lisaglamour
    @Lisaglamour Před 4 lety +2

    You are really an example to follow, meditation helps a lot I agree, therapy is also so important. Thank you for reminding us to stay calm, classy, and civilized, to take a deep breath and to let go, because people don't deserve our anger and stress. 😘

  • @smileys3000
    @smileys3000 Před 4 lety +1

    Anna, i do not know if you recognize what an excellent educator you are. It is a lovely gift. I am grateful to have discovered your work. I get excited when i see a new video from you! Thank you for that.

  • @suicidalthotss
    @suicidalthotss Před 4 lety +13

    This came just at the right time of my life. God bless you.

  • @chantalouellet8421
    @chantalouellet8421 Před 4 lety +5

    Anna, I just love, love,love everyone of your videos ! Thank you so much for all the work you do for us. You really changed my life and surely the lives of many other élégant ladies.🌷🙏

  • @pliquitabanana3198
    @pliquitabanana3198 Před 4 lety +1

    "The emotions are intense when they unite forces with your body..." excellent description of the problem and precious advices how to deal with it! You are wise Anna, I appreciate your work a lot! Thank you so much!

  • @alejandracastano7328
    @alejandracastano7328 Před 4 lety +1

    Ah I love you🙉 I’ve been battling with my mental health, and these past two weeks I admit I’ve been going off a lot loosing control of my emotions and acting and reacting to every single one of them instantly, specially in my long distance relationship with my boyfriend who I’ve been hurting a lot.. ! And probably this wasn’t one of the possible cases you thought about when creating this content but honestly it is exactly what I needed to be called out about and I’m going to work on all of these right away! Thank you so much 🙏🏻🤍

  • @aj9906
    @aj9906 Před 4 lety +5

    Thank you for this video! Staying ladylike when confronted with drama can be really challenging, An important thing I learned for myself is that there is often an "emotional truth" for the opposite person. One truth that is not connected to what really happened but to the emotions that person developed only. Is this is the case and the reason of the drama is this "emotional truth", I just let that person vent. This usually does the deal and it counts for around 80% of drama that I come across.

  • @thelastmedici4764
    @thelastmedici4764 Před 4 lety +18

    Indiference is my favourite "weapon" when it comes to the worst case scenario for an elegant lady🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @franchescaannie7186
    @franchescaannie7186 Před 4 lety +1

    I was really needing this video, thank you Anna. You are looking radiant as ever ✨

  • @emacwakeup
    @emacwakeup Před 2 lety +1

    Recently I have been yelling more as a mother. Anyhow it’s my third day and I have not yelled. I’ve decided 4 days ago that I will become more elegant. I’ve always like the idea but it’s the first time I am dabbling in it. Thank you for this video.

  • @couch_potato1557
    @couch_potato1557 Před 4 lety +4

    Anna is looking next level classy with that earring-hair combo today! 👑💎💟

  • @ColettaDesign
    @ColettaDesign Před 4 lety +3

    Right on, Anna. You are giving out such great advise. I'm glad you have so many followers. There IS hope. Not everyone wants to be a mongrel, fighting and causing toxic waves. I love this Vlog because you are teaching important, not just "lady" skills, but "human" skills. Blessings. ~Hallie from New York.

  • @rushdialrashed9627
    @rushdialrashed9627 Před 3 lety +1

    Dear Ms. Anna , You don’t only look elegant , u behave it as well. Love watching ur videos. Admiration from Dubai.

  • @simplysilent2980
    @simplysilent2980 Před 4 lety

    Awesome topic. Love this. Thanks for sharing.

  • @aliciayal-rabeah7230
    @aliciayal-rabeah7230 Před 4 lety +3

    Anna, I appreciate you, and the tips you share.

  • @JenniferLaVine99
    @JenniferLaVine99 Před 4 lety +5

    I’ve actually been waiting for a video on this from you. I wanna stay classy but not be walked all over . I won’t allow that , so thank you for this video

  • @flutenanyidk1806
    @flutenanyidk1806 Před 3 lety +1

    What I've learned is not to get defensive and try your best to listen to all sides. If you try to validate the other person's feelings it helps you to feel less angry because often there's a reason.

  • @richellezest364
    @richellezest364 Před 4 lety +2

    Just the topic I was searching for! Thanks!

  • @Taddy88818
    @Taddy88818 Před 4 lety +3

    I didn’t realise how much I needed this video in my life.

  • @HFIC
    @HFIC Před 4 lety +5

    This is a great reminder to maintain my composure when I'm triggered.Thanks for the message!
    -Nilsa

  • @samanthabarona7981
    @samanthabarona7981 Před 4 lety +2

    I needed this one! You are an angel. I cannot get enough of your face. 🙏🏽❤️