What is Gottman’s Theory for Couples Therapy? | ‘Sound Marital House Theory’ MFT Model Review
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- čas přidán 4. 06. 2024
- What’s Anya Mind, Friends?
Today, we’re taking a closer look at one of the most renowned approaches to couples therapy. John & Julie Gottman developed The Sound Marital House Theory which is an evidenced-based model that can predict a couple’s likelihood of divorce. Would you consider using this MFT model?
TIMESTAMPS//
00:00 - Introduction
02:38 - About the Theorist
03:25 - The Sound Marital House Theory
09:26 - The View of the Problem
17:03 - Goals
17:57 - Interventions and Techniques
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I'm a therapist that just discovered your content. It's amazing. Keep up the good work.
I took a Gottman course. Interesting story: Back when Gottman would conduct research by observing couples and their behavior, he started dating Julie. She would observe him and asked one question..."why are you watching them fight? Help them." The workshop/course was the result.
This is the most intuitive approach to relationships/marriage therapy I've seen so far
Agreed!
Hi! I’m a new therapist (I just graduated a few months ago), and I’ve been struggling with some imposter syndrome and feeling like there is so much I still need to learn while also wanting to be helpful to my clients. I recently found your channel and just wanted to say thank you for all the work you do. I really appreciate the way you explain these models. I feel like I can actually apply what I’m learning in my sessions. 💕
Remember that the imposter syndrome is a cognitive distortion. If you've come this far then you have what it takes. I wish you all the best as you help those who need you.
Thank you so much for the kind words. 💕
I find this model very interesting, and I love that he collaborates with his wife. Thanks for sharing!
That's my favorite thing about it too. Love to see a couple function as partners!
...his second wife -
My last relationship was home for all of the 4 Horsemen for years. My ex-partner refused to see anything wrong with it and insisted I was the problem - too sensitive, too strong-willed, and did not love him enough to overlook his dismissive behavior. I am SO glad, that I finally had the courage to break up 3 years ago. Right now I'm in a sound marital house and I'm at aw about how easy relationships can be if both partners are on the same page: love, respect, kindness, and trust. Relationships don't have to be hard. Of course, both sides have to work on themselves to grow closer together but it's nothing compared to the heavy lifting of a one-sided relationship, where one person gives just the bare minimum and the other bends over backward to finally be "enough".
My marriage is spiralling, almost divorced this last December/January. I've poured myself into trying to understand everything as best I can. We have gone to two different counselors. Both times, it felt to me like we just immediately started delving into huge problems my wife had no problem getting off her chest while I expected more of a "get to know us" period and then a period of wading into the difficult issues. The last one really dug into me about why I was so defensive when he gave my wife all the validation she was seeking and then lectured me about how I'm supposed to be a better husband. These sessions have traumatized me and made me more resistant to therapy, but I'm still trying. I came away from the last one feeling like there just HAS to be a systematic approach that treats the entire process with more sensitivity and would allow me to feel like I have an equal voice that isn't immediately dismissed when I bring up my own grievances. Thank you for this video. I needed to know that there are more systematic approaches and that I shouldn't be going into these things completely blind and that it's ok to know what to expect, as well as to have an expectation that we create a safe space, for both of us, to be able to talk about difficult things. The last therapist basically said that we both just have to be better versions of ourselves. I can't really sum up here what I've been through in my life and the past decade plus of marriage, but I wouldn't say I'm phoning it in. Demonstrable quantifiable strategies are more valuable than fortune cookie slogans. How are you going to give your wise insights if you've only been talking to us for 30 minutes and you're already just taking everything one person says at face value and admonishing the other? I'm really struggling here dealing with all this.
No marriage or family but definitely taking notes for the future. Thanks StephAnya!
I’m a practicum student about to graduate. I am loving your videos ! would love to see some mock therapy sessions ! 👏🏼
Thank you! Hmmm I never thought of that. Maybe I can get my husband to pretend to be a client haha.
Me too !!!
I would be more than willing to be that person
I volunteer
Steph, I love all of your videos and as a future mft grad student they truly help a lot! I also can’t wait to see someone who looks like us create their own approach & get just as much recognition as all of these other theorists! ♥️
I’m not studying to become a therapist-but it’s really helpful in understanding how my therapist is giving my husband and I tools to work on our relationship. I have ADHD and being able to repeatedly hear things like this remind me of what direction I’m aiming for.
Steph, thanks for all the hard work you put into these great videos!
Steph, I just found your channel and absolutely love your videos. The videos are so well made, and the content is very informative. I am passionate about becoming a LMFT and starting a bachelor's degree program this year. Thanks for making these playlists/videos.
I'm a retired therapist looking for counseling recommendations for married couples. Your description of the Gottman Method was a thorough overview. Thanks so much for your perspective.
Steph, thank you for these videos. You explain the concepts clearly and concisely and in an entertaining way. I’m in a MS in MHC program and these videos are helping me be more successful in my family/couple counseling class. Thanks again!
That is so useful, thank you so much for putting together this video!
Also, the dramatic thunder moment was hilarious (and very fitting indeed)!
Haha perfect natural sound effect
Thank you for these videos. I am having a hard time studying for my license and these are helping tremendously.
I love the way you present the theories. I am taking my third attempt for my LMHC and I hope I can remember your videos when answering the questions on my test. Thank you so much for your videos and much success to you!
This was a wonderful session, now I am very new to the channel I am truly enjoying making me look at relationship shows and my behaviour so different.
Thank you so much for sharing this information in such a clear, easy, fun, and comprehensive way! I'm an online MFT student, and your videos have been so so helpful for gaining a better understanding of these concepts we're reading about in school. 💝
I'm an LCSW that works with couples and individuals; just discovered your videos! They are awesome, thanks for sharing your perspectives and expertise with the world!
Gilr!!! I am in Grad School for my MSW and your videos are helping me to understand the different therapies. I love how you told us about the theorist's story and why they formed the methods. You have explained each theory in a way that makes me fall in love with wanting to understand future couples I serve. God Bless.
You did such a phenomenal job on explaining Gottmons method. I tend to come to your videos often as I’m finishing up my masters. On line learning has been very challenging to say the least.
I can’t find any negatives about this method. Thank you again🌻
Thank you!! ♥️
Thank you so much!! I'm an intern, have my first couple booked. My SV suggested this method to begin researching. I really appreciate the breakdown, time to dive in. Thank you!!!
Your MFT Model Review videos have helped me immensely in my Couples and Family Therapy course for my MACP! Thank you!
This was so good! Enjoy your content so much!
The way the thunder played along when you said "funny and dramatic"
Again, you did a wonderful job. I’ll be getting some more lessons after I passed this exam.
Thanks for these model reviews. They were part of my studying for the MFT exam and I passed on my first attempt. Soon to add LMFT to my credz. You're videos are awesome and I'll recommend them to others. - Dr. Ty
Congratulations!!!
I really enjoyed this. It was very educational. Keep up the good work
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks, Uncle!
Great job, Steph! Great video!
Thank you for these videos! I am not in a relationship, but I use these tips in relating to my friends and family.
I’m so glad that you’re finding them useful!
This was amazing! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much! this was extremely helpful and so well explained
I really enjoy watching your videos, and they’ve made a positive impact in my life. I was wondering if you could film a video about what to look for in a couples therapist, when to get a new therapist, how to break up with a therapist, and how to let your therapist know. We already made the decision to find a new therapist but I think we stuck around longer then we should have. 😅
Very clear and concise thank you
Glad it was helpful!
Hello, I am in my practicum/internship and your content is really helping me. I also am a student at NCU. Have you done any content on Internal Family Systems?
Thank you for your videos I’m using them to help me study for the ncc to get my license 💗
Thank you for such a good explaination
Love your breakdowns
Great summary. Thanks
Starting MFT program in a couple of weeks soo happy I found ur channel
Congratulations!
Great content keep up this amazing work
Thanks, fam!
Super helpful Thank you!!
Thanks have learnt alot.
OMG! I’m [im]patiently waiting for the day that you start accepting new couples for therapy!
My bf and I are currently in couples therapy hoping to proactively work through communication and conflict management within our relationship, but it’s been TOUGH. I sometimes feel like we’re more conflicted after our sessions and still struggle with fostering positivity versus negativity in our relationship. I love how you objectively break down common pitfalls and make the information easier to digest for someone who doesn’t have an educational background in counseling.
He’s a BOY FRIEND. Stop giving him husband energy.
@@raynaroy157 this! 👏🏾
Lol what kind of trash advice is that, he’s her boyfriend or ex regardless. Do you think a man should treat his girlfriend like his girlfriend?
I'd love a video on how to get out of the power struggle stage with the different attachment styles!
I need this too!!!
You may like Stan Tatkin’s work PACT. He shares many of these viewpoints too and emphasizes collaboration and having shared agreements and a shared vision for the relationship
Another awesome video!! Love these, they are so helpful - thank you!!! Can you do solution-focused?!
Yes, that’s next!
@@StephAnya Love your channel - thank you :
I really appreciate how well you explain these concepts especially with all the examples you bring in. I was wondering, if a family member comes to you for marriage advice and support and you recognise that part of the problem lies in her also having an unhealthy communication style. How would you help her recognise this and improve herself without triggering a defensive & emotional response?
Absolutely not. Part of being a therapist is having firm boundaries with clients, friends, and family.
Thank you!
Great video!
Awesome content 🙌🏾
Thank you!
The four horsemen and the thunder made me laugh out loud!! Love this! Thank you for this vid very helpful in study!
Just the most perfect timing 😂
Thank you Soo much explaining Gottman I am studying about him in my MFT course this semester. I enjoy Gottman love mal
I love it too!
@@StephAnya - I went to a Gottman-affiliated therapist outside Seattle.
She was very skilled. Nice lady.
Said I was the most contemptuous spouse at Gottman Clinic. 😶
nice explanation. I am now working with lots of couples and even though my platform (Kaiser) will not allow 50 sessions, some of this information can be used. Thanks
How long are your sessions?
Your perfect🥺❤️. The perfect person to talk to too
🥺 How sweet. Thank you ♥️
This applies to all kinds of relationships.
thank you
I really enjoyed your video , it is very helpful it refresh my brain for my exam.
Hi girl. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am taking my exam in September and super nervous. Your videos are so helpful. I'm wondering if I can pay you to make an experiential video or pay you for private tutoring? Please let me know. Thank you so much!
Is there a book that talks about all of this? 😢
Especially the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse?
Hi, I recently just found you. I am testing for the 2nd time and wonder what tips you have?I feel I relate to you more than other stuff I watched in the past.
Hi Laura! I have a video about how I passed the exam that you may find helpful! It’s from last year.
@@StephAnya ha! I watched it after I sent that lol. Thank you!
@@StephAnya Also can you do a video on Feminist Theory?
You are amazing!
Aw thank you!!
The 5 to 1 positive to negative ratio is during conflict, right? Not just in general?
Great! Please make a video about solution-building couples therapy by Elliott Connie
What do you do with someone who feels the need to make it seem like they pay for everything when it is the other way around so they can save face to someone else. It would not be so bad if they we're or had the ability to replenish sometimes. It's been kinda lop sided lately.
What material do you use for your information on Gottman theory
AATBS. I have it linked in the description box.
There are some people who are from very negative households. Positivity is important. Unconditional love is the key.
Thanks.
You’re welcome, Jonnie ♥️
Do you have any good references for this theory??
The part that you say when someone else could be another religion 🤔.And the thinking of the four horsemen apocalypse… !!!!! 💓
How do you feel about Imago Therapy ?
I didn't find the collaborative FT :(
Inner family systems please 😊
I want to see a video on EFT by Sue Johnson. If you haven’t already. If you have please put link in comments 😊
Would you recommend this method if one partner is leaning towards divorce?
How can this method be utilized in premarital counseling
What do you think about someone testing you with other people all the time.
Emotional Focused Therapy was created by and for INFJ's.
Gottman, being an INTJ, offered advice especially for INTJs.
INFJs want emotional attachment. INTJs want to create space.
Or someone coveting you when they get the same treatment or have the same access to resources as you do. What is that all about?
GOODMORNING World
my parents have all 4 horsemen of the apocalypse 😭
Same😭😭
Is there a book that fixes this? 😢
It’s never too late. They loved each other enough to marry. Bringing Jesus into the middle of a marriage and following Him FIRST changes everything.
Some people are comfortable in that dynamic till they’re not
@@backwoodsbandit3138Gorman has a lot of books for this
👍🏼❤
♥️
Lol I clicked so fast like yay!!!!! lol
Thanks for the request!
Girl you have different nails in every vid . Cute every time
Explain psychoanalytic theory
Problem child the movie.
There are consequences of dating if you are not careful with decision making and dating.
what did you hear that made you look like that?
Thunder!
Unfortunately, the Gottman method is not at all popular, hence the colossal failures of most therapists. Gottman should be mandatory for therapy. After all, doesn't science matter?
Great video!
Thank you!