The Truth About Raising Children in a Toxic Culture ft. Gabor Maté
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- čas přidán 6. 07. 2024
- This week, Morgan DeBaun sits down with renowned physician, author, and trauma expert, Dr. Gabor Maté, for a thought-provoking conversation about childhood trauma and attachment, the impact of societal norms on parenting, and the healing potential of psychedelics.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to the Episode and Guest
01:30 Dr. Gabor Maté's Childhood
04:24 Exploring the Impact of Early Trauma and Parenting Challenges
09:31 The Struggles of Parenting in a Toxic Culture
15:06 Attachment and Its Importance in Parenting
21:30 Navigating Parenting Challenges and Healing Attachment
24:03 Nurturing Parent-Child Attachment
24:38 Minimizing Technology for Kids
25:36 Balancing Work and Family Life
28:51 The Importance of Attachment and Individuation
36:40 The Role of Psychedelics in Healing and Self-Discovery
45:32 Connecting with the Speaker's Work and Final Thoughts
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Dr. Maté opens up about his own childhood experiences as a Jewish infant in occupied Hungary, where abandonment and trauma shaped his early years and later influenced his relationships with his children and career. Through personal reflection, Morgan shares her own experiences of growing up with a father whose demanding career kept him often away, and her tendency towards workaholism. She shares how she intends to do things differently with her own child.
As the discussion unfolds, Dr. Maté delves into his belief that we are living in a toxic culture, where stress and societal pressures take a toll on our mental and physical health. He highlights the direct link between our minds and bodies, particularly evident in marginalized groups facing systemic racism. Dr. Maté and Morgan discuss how it is in this context that parents are expected to raise children, and how cultural parenting norms often contradict intuitive caregiving practices, driven by economic necessities rather than emotional well-being.
The episode wraps up with an eye-opening discussion on the potential of psychedelics in healing trauma, with Dr. Maté sharing the emerging research and the need for better access to these powerful tools in mental health care.
To learn more about Dr. Gabor Maté's work discussed in this episode, check out his books The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing In A Toxic Culture and Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers.
Tune in to this insightful episode, and make sure to leave a rating and review to show your support for these incredibly powerful conversations being had week after week!
Thank you for having Gabor Mate on, I listened to him recently on another platform. He is very right about our toxic culture towards family. I was a youngish mom and had my first at 25. I am thankful that having been raised in a close knit family I never had to do daycare, and worked part time because secure attachment to my children was a priority for me. Coslept, baby wore, breastfed and took my babies to brunch right along with me. Now my kids are 8 and 13 and I can tell you that my work has paid off. They are smiley and happy, emotionally intelligent and genuinely just fun to be around. We still go to brunch! Now as an entrepreneur, the last two years my priorities do feel imbalanced and it has been a struggle. My goal is to give them everything they need and no longer financially struggle to get it but now I do worry about the potential erosion of the initial foundation built.
Brave man to talk about our toxic culture. Am the wife of a physician myself and mum to 2 young adults as well as former RN/midwife who worked with babies who fail to thrive. Now a yoga teacher working with young parents I find so much truth and wisdom in what Gabor says. Often felt I was going against the grain of my culture when my children were young and found very few parenting mentors IRL. Often felt like I was stumbling around in the dark working intuitively despite the plethora of parenting info out there. But watching my kids navigate the complex adult world I’m glad my husband and I gave them the time and attention we did. His comment about neglecting children in anyway - including farming them out to an exhausting list of socially acceptable structured activities - will come back to bite parents in the bum. Parental love requires time, presence, respecting the child’s burgeoning sense of self, and the ability to reflect, apologise for mistakes and start over (ie humility). Eagerly looking forward to his new book. So encouraging to see an elder who lives it rather than just claiming the title due to age
This video is an absolute gem! Gabor Maté's insights are like a guiding light through the complexities of parenting in today's world. His compassionate approach and deep understanding of the impact of culture on child development offer hope and encouragement to all parents out there. Instead of succumbing to fear or frustration, he empowers us to navigate this challenging terrain with empathy, understanding, and resilience. Thank you for sharing this invaluable wisdom!
It’s heartening to see this issue regarding the toxic culture (in the US especially) being discussed. I had to go back to work 4 weeks after a C-section and it broke my heart and spirit to have to hand my newborn baby over to a stranger (daycare) while I went back to work. My company had no benefits for new parents only FMLA, which most don’t qualify for and even if you do, it’s unpaid. Who can afford not to work for even 1 day let alone any longer than that. The only reason I could even take off and still provide for my new baby and pay my bills was due to saving my vacation time for years. This needs to change for mothers AND fathers!
This is one of my favorite episodes. It’s really interesting how our traumas affect so much of us and how so much of it if unresolved can carry with us for life. Looking forward to continuing the deep work to uncover it so my future kids won’t have to suffer from that. ❤
I got advised to sleep train and we tried for ONE NIGHT and I was like aw hell naw. Give me my baby. We co-slept forever. We still co-sleep 2-3 nights a week and they are 4 & 6 😅.
And I’m sure your hard work will pay off later!
I've been considering going back to co sleeping with my girls, they are soon to be 4 & 6
Sounds like a revamp in structure for the work❤ing mom (or parents) if we want a better society.
TELL US WHAT MAKES HIM A TRAUMA EXPERT...bc he had trauma??? Nah, we all had trauma. He is no more expert than any of us with trauma...not does he have answers!!
The constant "mhm" on the part of the host is really annoying. Please let the guest speak!!