During the argument I was also trying to understand both points of view, but the moment he started trying to tell her how she really felt as if he knew better, he lost me. That's gaslight and there's no excuse to not see that red flag.
Same here. I felt like at first, it was down to their miscommunication and different needs and expectations of their relationship, which were most likely due to the age gap. But then when he started gaslighting her I was like 'Sadie, RUN'.
My issue with the fight scene, and why I'm wholeheartedly against his reaction, is that he is the one that asked her why she was mad. She was hurt and quiet, but not accusing, not lashing out. She felt rejected and let down after a stressful interaction, which is valid, and instead of listening to her, comforting her, trying to empathize or even just leaving her alone to be upset, he specifically asks her why she's mad and before she can get an entire sentence out to explain why she's upset he tells her she's stupid, and then that she's insane because she has the audacity to feel something that isn't pleasing to him. He's not trying to connect , to understand, to learn, to make amends. His intention is to shame her smiling silence because that is more comfortable to him than actually owning the fact that he was rude to her the whole night by excluding her. He knows this is his fault, that's why he came in with an attack instead of with empathy and willingness to listen. This is classic gaslighting (and if you'll notice the red knobs are bathed in light on the gas range, so clearly the intention of the scene) and it's emotionally abusive. You don't have to agree with your partner if they react differently than you would like, but calling them stupid and crazy for it is abusive.
Also his sorry was so insincere. He's just saying the words until she behaves the way he wants again. There's so much emotional abuse going on - gaslighting and love bombing...
“So casually cruel in the name of being honest” is one of my favorite Taylor’s line. She wrote this one when she was 21. Imagine the potential. Well, we can. Folklore and evermore showed what this 21 year old could write when she was 30. Hope you continue reacting to Taylor. It would be cool if you watch her SNL performance of this song. Incredible. Thanks.
That is a great line. It's something you see people do a lot. Nonchalantly saying something hurtful and then saying crap like "well I guess you don't want the truth then" or something along those lines, as if being honest is a justification for being hurtful. But that is always a weird line to walk. There's a line I like from a different song: Honesty should be the best policy but it's not that simple Kind of similar.
Too bad he paused it right in the middle of that exact line and basically missed that whole lyrical run. Need to learn to pause better and then go back 5 seconds when you restart. Frustrating
she got a job as a songwriter when she was 13 n was writing songs for other artists.she always has been a great writer,alot of icons like Paul Mccartney ,Billy Joal,Carole King,Dolly parton,Bruce Springsteen,Phil collins etc call her the best songwriter of this generation.billy joel said she is the beatles of this generation
Sir Paul McCartney just went into The Kelce Super Bowl suite because HE wanted to meet HER. Everyone was so excited about meeting him but he was too excited to meet her. How cute is that? There’s video proof showing him in the suite as well as Jason Kelce saying it on his podcast. ❤
Hey J. Long time no see. Happy Thanksgiving. The kitchen scene. Well, the dynamic is that he is 10 yrs older than she is hanging out with his 30 yr old friends. A young 20 yr old isn't able to hold their own in that situation and needed the significant other to make them feel included, or to bring them into the conversation. The female didn't necessarily need affection, but needed him to include her. That age difference and at that young age there is going to be a problem, so why even bring her if he wasn't interested in introducing her friends to her and having them get to know her. He then gaslighted her, called her crazy, insane, stupid, selfish. Then, when she is crying, he apologized while mocking dropping her hand. At the end of the scene and she is wiping her eyes, she said she was embarrassed. That's telling. All that and the end result is that she felt stupid and embarrassed, only because of all the things he said to her. Gaslighting her. This song was written when she was 21. This is the 10 minute version, its actually the original version of the song, the way it was initially written before it was edited and cut down to the song that ended up on the Red album in 2012. But, fans kept asking for this initial uncut version of the song, not polished and kinda jumps around a bit, but that's why. it was the initial lyrics how they were written, so she put this out from the Vault when she released Red (Taylors Version) a few weeks ago. The All Too Well version on the 2012 Red was widely considered to be Taylor's best song and critics considered it to be the one of the best songs ever written even though it was never released as a single. She sang this extended version on SNL a few weeks ago. Not her very best vocal performance, but I imagine it is very difficult singing a 10+ minute song live for the first time. BUT, it will go down in SNL history as one of the most epic performances because of its length, and because she is a mega-superstar at the height of her career and the song is her most iconic song in her catalog and a global #1 hit, she is a great performer, it starts out with a silouette, leaves falling from above that eventually turn to snow at the end, the movie is playing in the backdrop, AND she drops the F-word (I thought SNL was live), and ends in a cappella in near black. It is definitely worth a watch. Its stunning. Her Vault songs from the Red (Taylor's Version) are very good. If I could suggest one that is the stand out (besides this one) would be Nothing New (ft Phoebe Bridgers). This is a top tier track and its a shame it didn't make the album in 2012, but I can see why. But, to think Taylor wrote it at age 22 and its just been sitting there in a closet.... is unreal. Nothing New, you'll like it.
Yeah I see the age gap now due to comments but did I miss a clue to that from this song or is that something you know from others? Good to see you here! Yes it's been a while. Thanks for the insight and I feel that more after being aware of the age gap. He could have been better. But I guess 30 isn't always as mature as it sounds.
@@JSteezy The age gap is in the two actors, she is really 19 and he is 29. I guess people notice that he is older than she is , but its not blatant. it also makes it a little cringe in the making out scenes since she is a teenager, its supposed to make people feel uncomfortable. Try Nothing New, its not 10 minutes long, and it is a stand out track. Knowing your musical taste a bit, I think of all the Vault tracks next to this one, you'd like Nothing New. Top Tier Track.
@@JSteezy “you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want die” … she also says … “and I was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age” … she mentions age twice in the song. And once during the argument “they’re all older than me?” In regards to his friends. And also she mentions her age when she talks about turning 21. To not see age as the clear focus point of this song & a clear conflict in their relationship is missing the point entirely in my opinion ❤️
@@kmac8055 that's fair. But I wouldn't also know if the song was talking about them growing at those ages together or if the age was largely different from the start, etc. It's hard to piece that together the first time. Age being mentioned didn't necessarily put it all into context, right? But I see it now and I'm glad it was pointed out but I have to go into these things knowing I won't have the full story as the true fans might, and I say thtat before I start as well.
Even as a guy who gets the logic vs emotions struggle, I see more of her side during the argument scene, mostly because she's supposed to be 20 while he's 30 (you can see this with the lyrics about her turning 21 and then "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age" the dude is 40 today and his current gf is 25). That's a super big maturity gap and he's acting just like her while he decided to date somebody that's barely out of her teens. So it was much more on him to know how to deal with situations like this and be the bigger person so I really cannot see his side with that context, now if both were closer in age I would feel more like you did. Also, I always find it interesting to hear your thoughts about songs because while I agree with a lot of what you say about the music industry (despite loving Taylor's music so much I listen to mostly rock with some metal/synthpop) you also seem to have a very different take on music than me and that makes me think. EDIT: I'm just curious, my favorite band of all time is a Japanese rock band called X Japan, do you know them? If so what do you think about their music? What about Sonata Arctica (that's a Finish power metal band) that's another one of my favorites).
That does change things! Did I miss a clue as to the age gap in this song or is that something you get from the other songs on the album this was on? Because I totally missed that if so. I've heard of the band but not familiar with their music.
The only clues in the short-film + song is that she says "they are all older than me, I feel so out of place" and the lyric "he said it's supposed to be fun, turning 21" but the reason most of us know is because the song is about Taylor's relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal, they went out when she was 20 and he was 29 and the actors in this film are 19 and 30. I'm not sure you could get his age just from the song.
@@Mravenrocks i think the lyric 'you said: if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine' gave it away. It looks like the male character used the age gap as an excuse to break the relationship off.
she was going through a really hard time and it was during her tour rehearsal and she was about to cry n suddenly started just free styling this song for like 20 minutes n her band was just playing along with her n one of them recorded this and later gave it to her mom...most of the people and music critics say that this is her best song..this song is so special for swifties it's like a swifties anthem😂
I appreciate your review. I’ve never been a fan of Taylor except from the cursory listen on radio play. But this… I’ve had it on loop several times. It’s masterfully done. But the fight scene. That was an example of downplaying gaslighting behavior. We’re used to it. I’ve watched other men reacting to this. It made me smile when they saw the Gaslighting right away. But I can see how we can see the two sides. Men and women, react differently to situations. He knew he didn’t hold her hand. (The pat, it was meant to probably reassure her and not show his peers their closeness) He’s deflecting for sure.
Thank you! Guys and gals definitely react differently to different things. I think certain actions just mean more or less and that's ok. But the fact he was a good bit older gives him less slack.
Hey J, nice reaction video. Glad you liked the song and the video. it's been cool and interesting, watching you get to know Taylor's discography a bit and develop an appreciation for her work. I agree with what you said about how it's nice as an artist to be able to take your pain or whatever experience you are going through and to be able to turn it into art, something that is bigger than you and that other people can relate to. I think that is what Taylor has been doing her entire career with her songwriting. It's nice that you get that, instead of dismissing her as writing songs about her ex's or being petty or whatever the way so many other people have trivialized her currently and in the past. There is a lot more to her than that. About the kitchen scene. I, like you, can see both sides of it.. or I could to some extent at first. Like I understand that he maybe at the time didn't even notice he was ignoring her or that he dropped her hand, I could see that. But once he realized she felt that way, how hard would it have been to say you know what, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I had no idea you felt so out of place. these were my friends who I haven't seen in a long time and I got caught up catching up, I'm sorry. That would have defused the entire situation. She was just looking for reassurance. How much would that have cost him? Instead of getting defensive and lashing out and refusing to take any responsibility for what happened and telling her how crazy and selfish and and ridiculous her feelings were. We have to remember that this guy was 10 years older than her and this isn't the 1st time he has dated a much younger woman. This is this girls 1st time experiencing these feelings, she's got a lot to learn. He could have manned up and handled it differently. Everyone's feelings have validity, and just because someone doesn't understand another persons feelings or thinks that they would never feel that way, it doesn't change that fact that the other person DOES feel that way and that is valid. You don't see her telling him how ridiculous or crazy he is being even though she obviously doesn't understand. Invalidating someone's feelings is the wrong thing to do. Feelings aren't always logical, and I think if you expect people to be able to follow your logic or to just know something, you are going to end up being disappointed almost every time. Assumptions or jumping to conclusions will always get you in trouble. Everyone's perspective is different. t's better to go off of what people tell you. How can you expect someone to know something unless you tell them? That's my opinion anyway. Sorry for the rant lol! I also think you should check out Nothing New Ft Phoebe Bridgers. I think you would enjoy that one. It's crazy to think that she was that wise at the age of 22. The style of it reminds me a bit of Matthew Pryor. Also, It would be awesome if you checked out Miss Americana, Taylor's documentary on Netflix. I know you would have to cut it up on the channel but I think you would really enjoy that as well. Even if you watched it and just did a video where you talked about it afterward without playing clips of the video would be cool with me. Anyway, thanks for making you videos, I really like watching them. Take care.
Thanks for such a thoughtful comment! I think many songs are boring love songs with no depth or much personality to them because they just all hit the same cliches, you know? Maybe a few of Taylor's have but some are certainly better and more valuable than those songs I'm talking about. Still yet to watch that documentary but if I find a way I can speak about it, I will. I might just do it Needledrop style and talk about it after having watched. It's the best way to avoid these copyright issues that come up.
That argument is pure gaslighting. "I don't think I'm making you feel that way, you're making yourself feel that way" "selfish", if my partner talked to me like that he'd see my back walking away faster than he could know what hit him. Red flags all over this argument. I've been in a relationship that had arguments like these during my late teens. When I got out of it years later than I should have and started going to therapy to make sense of the mess he left in my head, my therapist called it abuse. Mental and emotional abuse. While with him I was too close to the situation to see it, but afterwards it was pretty clear. I feel like this short film could help some women realize that they're in a bad situation. Maybe if it had existed ten years ago it would have helped me too.
Fair enough. But for someone to say "you're making me feel this way" could just as easily be labeled as the same. I think people are over simplifying the term and applying it too often and too liberally and unfortunately are missing out on the nuance of a situation that really says more than calling it gaslighting so quickly does.
Hey man! I love seeing your appreciation for Taylor grow yet you still keep all your honesty and don’t say want you want people to hear, one of the reason why your reacting videos are special, plus you make great points, love your videos and keep doing you!
The shorter version was on the Red album in 2012. The 10 min version was the original written song before the album. The record label wanted a shorter version for the album. Now with the vault songs, she has the opportunity to release the 10 min one now.
Thank you! I will always try to keep it honest, even if it brings me some hate. At least that way you guys trust my opinions to be genuine and not just about crowd pleasing.
Regarding the argument; even though he asked what was wrong the tone he used with her was anything but understanding or coming from a place of wanting to put her at ease, just because he didn’t realize that he was insulting her or hurting her feelings doesn’t make her feelings invalid, and instead of listening to her he just talked over for the most part and made her feel even more insecure, classic gaslighting. And the “apology” was completely insincere.
I knew you would appreciate this song. You should listen to the whole album, lyrically is at the same level of Folklore and Evermore 👌🏻 Btw, if you do a podcast, I'd be really interested in listening to it 😄
Thanks! I just might do that. If it really is up on that caliber then it might be an album I enjoy. This was a fun and good listen for sure. Working on the podcase, just seeing if anyone is interested. It might be really different from this kind of stuff but it would be fun to give it a shot.
Theres so many versions of all too well but the one that hits the hardest is the acoustic ver/5minutes. And the sad girl autumn version basically the ten minute one but piano
I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving and continue to feel better. I would be interested in a podcast. I'm glad you enjoyed this song. It has some lines that really resonate with me..."I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all" and "I'd like to be my old self again But I'm still trying to find it"...and then pretty much the whole song, except for the refrigerator light. Wasting electricity and food going
Yes, this would be my suggestion for a further react also! Either that one or Better Man. Or I bet you think about me, because you can watch the new music video alongside it
Umm yeah, it’s not just a guys and girls thing, it’s a relationship thing. Sex at birth or gender really doesn’t matter. Same sex or opposite sex relationship it really doesn’t matter. Those miscommunication issues can really lead to pain.
Loved your reaction and appreciation for her song writing. It is why I love Taylor swift so much! You should check out Holy Ground, her BBC Radio live performance. I’d love your thoughts on it!
This Is precisely what happened what you’re saying is exactly what happened between her and Jake Gyllenhaal when she was 20 and he was 29 and everything that she’s telling you in the story is how it played out and he’s a douche bag
I think it would be nice if you listen and analyze the original song from 2012 and compare them to this version on ur own or make a video up to u but u should def try and listen to the original and process the difference from both. Cause the original is what ALL TOO WELL is ofcourse. To me the 5 minute version is more reminiscent of this relationship and dynamic its more nostalgic and looking back. The ten minute version is kind of more angry i would say. I still prefer the cut down version imo.
He has zero right to be upset during that argument. He had no legs to stand on there. If they are hanging out with HIS friends that she don't know, it's HIS job to introduce her to them and keep her involved in the conversation. These are people who she's never met, they are all about a decade older than her so she can't relate to them, and he's the only one there that knows her. She was trying to get involved by taking his hand, and he completely dismissed her by dropping her hand. This tells us that he doesn't really care about her or care about her enough to keep her involved with everyone. He was the only one who made her feel comfortable, and then he acted like a completely different person - like she didn't matter at all. If he wanted to do that, hang out with them when she's not there. Don't make her feel alone in a room full of people. Then when they argued about it, he doubled down on his stupidity by dismissing her again and gaslighting her by saying he didn't even notice dropping her hand and saying she's the selfish one because she just wanted the only person who knows/supposedly cares about her to notice her occasionally. All he had to do was hold her hand, or put his arm around her, or be courteous enough to occasionally involve her in the conversation. Then he ended it by invalidating her feelings about what happened and gave a half-assed apology just to stop the arguing. Not actually resolving anything. I would also say that men and women are equally emotional and logical. Both of which are not mutually exclusive things. She had both logic and emotion in her argument, while he lacked both in his argument. It's also worth noting that this is about when Taylor dated Jake Gyllenhaal. She was 20 and he was 29. He was MUCH older (and should have been much more mature) and broke up with her saying it was at least partly due to their age difference. He knew she was young when they started dating, and now over a decade later, he's still dating girls that age. The point of the video is that they were so close in their relationship. She called themselves twin flames. But after they broke up, he was telling people that it wasn't a big deal - that it was just a fling/only 3 months. She was showing us that while it was short, it was deep. He mailed her things back except for her scarf, which he was later found by paparazzi wearing it out. He never said that he loved her/that they were in love until 3 months after they broke up when he was trying to get back together. But she knew it was over for good when he didn't show up to her 21st birthday. There is so much info in this one song/era in her life, but these are at least the biggest bullet points. Hope this helps!
The difference about the fight scene is she wasn’t upset that he was upset but he got upset that she was upset with him. That’s the difference. She wasn’t feeling understood and he just blew it off like it was nothing. That sorry scene was suppose to be that. That he didn’t care and said sorry to shut her up and end the fight. That scene is just brutal.
I guess me and a few who said they can understand why, or something like that. I guess we can disagree but I would love to ask you honstly, do you think it's one of her best songs? Do you think she has other songs that are better? I personally just don't think it's really up there with what I'd consider her best work.
@@JSteezy In my case,I also didn't used to like "Wildest dreams" but let's just say " Taylor's Version" make the song grown a lot for me .I loved her new vocals on the song and how she ended it ...💖🥰.So that ..I feellike it's quite the acquiered taste 😂😊
The argument felt so real but then he ended up doing some gaslighting. Knowing it’s based on a nasty age gap relationship, you notice how he uses that as a dagger because he knows she hates it. I liked how you were talking about balancing logic and emotions and then said “they are wasting energy” because you are being honest. 😂
That's cool how into the story of her love life you are invested in. It seems to be a real story telling event as opposed to some lame tabloid celebrity drama. I'll try to check it out sometime.
Of course I don’t know them and this is supposition but I think maybe the scarf represents her virginity which the feelings may be stronger for her. Also the scarf in his eyes could be a trophy of it. And the dinner party isn’t more so as holding hands but the fact that he didn’t try to make her more comfortable. The least he could have done would be to try and get her involved instead of just ignoring he could have tried to ease her way. But this is what it says to me.
Well, it was highly requested that I watch/listen to this so I did it but I enjoyed doing the reaction and I think the visual is a good part of the story as well. I see your point but I think you could see the point of the other side as well, no?
He’s completely gaslighting her throughout the whole video. Remember when he threw the car keys on the ground? He didn’t even acknowledge she was in the room with his friends and turned her hand over rather than hold it. She’s not overreacting, he’s not a nice man. At all. He didn’t even show up for her 21st birthday. It’s Jake Gyllenhaal being represented and he talked her into losing her virginity after she said she wanted to wait, he promptly dumped her afterwards.
Ok, if you're going to enter this world you need some background. J. Mayer was 32, she 19. This song, Would've, Could've, Should've and dear John chronicle her relationship. Whether you take her side or not HE has no right to play twisted games with an inexperienced young girl. From a psychological point of view. He shattered her. Do the song Dear John last, because she wrote it when she turned 32. Same age as he was when he trifled with her.
He took his much younger girlfriend to a dinner where she knew no one and ignored her. It is not complicated who is the bad guy here. Then he gaslighted her. It is textbook toxic behaviour.
“Hmm. It’s like an off tune violin or harmonica in the back that’s very distracting. It’s very low. I’m sure most of you wouldn’t even catch it.” Dude! High horse much?? You need to step down because you’re not doing a great job here. You think we haven’t listened to this at least a dozen times EACH?? Your first listen and you’ve disrespected “most of” the people listening!! FFS. Listen to yourself. After the fight scene that broke most of us… “yeah, that’s great. Just saying sorry. Yeah. Just great.” SHE IS ONLY 20/21 and he is 30! IT IS NOT OK! 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I personally think she is the one wrong here. I went thru the same thing with my college ex, and he treated me WAY worse around his friends, than this guy, So I was used to it. This guy is mild is compared to what I went thru. But I never said a word about it. I did not want to give him the satisfaction. And I just tried to make my own friends when I was there, and act like I didn't care. Taylor should have done the same, lol. This hand thing at the dinner table was not enough. But I don't know what else he did during the night. They didn't show it. Maybe he ignored her all night too.
I think he could have been more inclusive but she really blew up as well. Some of the comments say he was gaslighting her but nobody said she was blowing up a lot more than reasonable for the events that occured. I'm not exactly saying that either but they both could have been better and I guess there's more expectation on the guy since he's a fair bit older, which I can agree with.
@@JSteezy agreed with your point completely. She overdid it but again not only she was a naive teen but also he was mentally pressurized and instigating her to react.
So, the song is 10 minutes long (the short film is slightly longer), but your reaction is nearly 40 minutes... I think you should have listened more. You stepped on some of the most iconic lyrics... I read in the comments that you thought you may have missed any reference to their age difference in the song, and you were definitely talking over the lyric "You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die..." You might have a perspective, but is it really worth almost 4 times what the original material is?? I mean, the comment about the refrigerator being left open? Come on, that was such a beautiful line, and your thought was about leaving the door open. Ugh.
During the argument I was also trying to understand both points of view, but the moment he started trying to tell her how she really felt as if he knew better, he lost me. That's gaslight and there's no excuse to not see that red flag.
Same here. I felt like at first, it was down to their miscommunication and different needs and expectations of their relationship, which were most likely due to the age gap. But then when he started gaslighting her I was like 'Sadie, RUN'.
My issue with the fight scene, and why I'm wholeheartedly against his reaction, is that he is the one that asked her why she was mad. She was hurt and quiet, but not accusing, not lashing out. She felt rejected and let down after a stressful interaction, which is valid, and instead of listening to her, comforting her, trying to empathize or even just leaving her alone to be upset, he specifically asks her why she's mad and before she can get an entire sentence out to explain why she's upset he tells her she's stupid, and then that she's insane because she has the audacity to feel something that isn't pleasing to him. He's not trying to connect , to understand, to learn, to make amends. His intention is to shame her smiling silence because that is more comfortable to him than actually owning the fact that he was rude to her the whole night by excluding her. He knows this is his fault, that's why he came in with an attack instead of with empathy and willingness to listen. This is classic gaslighting (and if you'll notice the red knobs are bathed in light on the gas range, so clearly the intention of the scene) and it's emotionally abusive. You don't have to agree with your partner if they react differently than you would like, but calling them stupid and crazy for it is abusive.
Also his sorry was so insincere. He's just saying the words until she behaves the way he wants again. There's so much emotional abuse going on - gaslighting and love bombing...
@@rebeccabielow3176 exactly!
“So casually cruel in the name of being honest” is one of my favorite Taylor’s line. She wrote this one when she was 21. Imagine the potential. Well, we can. Folklore and evermore showed what this 21 year old could write when she was 30. Hope you continue reacting to Taylor. It would be cool if you watch her SNL performance of this song. Incredible. Thanks.
That is a great line. It's something you see people do a lot. Nonchalantly saying something hurtful and then saying crap like "well I guess you don't want the truth then" or something along those lines, as if being honest is a justification for being hurtful. But that is always a weird line to walk.
There's a line I like from a different song: Honesty should be the best policy but it's not that simple
Kind of similar.
@@JSteezy What’s the song. I’d like to hear it.
They way she emphasizes Cruel just is sooo painful.ugh!
Too bad he paused it right in the middle of that exact line and basically missed that whole lyrical run.
Need to learn to pause better and then go back 5 seconds when you restart. Frustrating
she got a job as a songwriter when she was 13 n was writing songs for other artists.she always has been a great writer,alot of icons like Paul Mccartney ,Billy Joal,Carole King,Dolly parton,Bruce Springsteen,Phil collins etc call her the best songwriter of this generation.billy joel said she is the beatles of this generation
Dang those are some accolades!
Sir Paul McCartney just went into The Kelce Super Bowl suite because HE wanted to meet HER. Everyone was so excited about meeting him but he was too excited to meet her. How cute is that? There’s video proof showing him in the suite as well as Jason Kelce saying it on his podcast. ❤
Hey J. Long time no see. Happy Thanksgiving. The kitchen scene. Well, the dynamic is that he is 10 yrs older than she is hanging out with his 30 yr old friends. A young 20 yr old isn't able to hold their own in that situation and needed the significant other to make them feel included, or to bring them into the conversation. The female didn't necessarily need affection, but needed him to include her. That age difference and at that young age there is going to be a problem, so why even bring her if he wasn't interested in introducing her friends to her and having them get to know her. He then gaslighted her, called her crazy, insane, stupid, selfish. Then, when she is crying, he apologized while mocking dropping her hand. At the end of the scene and she is wiping her eyes, she said she was embarrassed. That's telling. All that and the end result is that she felt stupid and embarrassed, only because of all the things he said to her. Gaslighting her.
This song was written when she was 21. This is the 10 minute version, its actually the original version of the song, the way it was initially written before it was edited and cut down to the song that ended up on the Red album in 2012. But, fans kept asking for this initial uncut version of the song, not polished and kinda jumps around a bit, but that's why. it was the initial lyrics how they were written, so she put this out from the Vault when she released Red (Taylors Version) a few weeks ago. The All Too Well version on the 2012 Red was widely considered to be Taylor's best song and critics considered it to be the one of the best songs ever written even though it was never released as a single.
She sang this extended version on SNL a few weeks ago. Not her very best vocal performance, but I imagine it is very difficult singing a 10+ minute song live for the first time. BUT, it will go down in SNL history as one of the most epic performances because of its length, and because she is a mega-superstar at the height of her career and the song is her most iconic song in her catalog and a global #1 hit, she is a great performer, it starts out with a silouette, leaves falling from above that eventually turn to snow at the end, the movie is playing in the backdrop, AND she drops the F-word (I thought SNL was live), and ends in a cappella in near black. It is definitely worth a watch. Its stunning.
Her Vault songs from the Red (Taylor's Version) are very good. If I could suggest one that is the stand out (besides this one) would be Nothing New (ft Phoebe Bridgers). This is a top tier track and its a shame it didn't make the album in 2012, but I can see why. But, to think Taylor wrote it at age 22 and its just been sitting there in a closet.... is unreal. Nothing New, you'll like it.
Yeah I see the age gap now due to comments but did I miss a clue to that from this song or is that something you know from others? Good to see you here! Yes it's been a while. Thanks for the insight and I feel that more after being aware of the age gap. He could have been better. But I guess 30 isn't always as mature as it sounds.
@@JSteezy The age gap is in the two actors, she is really 19 and he is 29. I guess people notice that he is older than she is , but its not blatant. it also makes it a little cringe in the making out scenes since she is a teenager, its supposed to make people feel uncomfortable. Try Nothing New, its not 10 minutes long, and it is a stand out track. Knowing your musical taste a bit, I think of all the Vault tracks next to this one, you'd like Nothing New. Top Tier Track.
@@JSteezy in this version there's a line "you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine"
@@JSteezy “you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want die” … she also says … “and I was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age” … she mentions age twice in the song. And once during the argument “they’re all older than me?” In regards to his friends. And also she mentions her age when she talks about turning 21. To not see age as the clear focus point of this song & a clear conflict in their relationship is missing the point entirely in my opinion ❤️
@@kmac8055 that's fair. But I wouldn't also know if the song was talking about them growing at those ages together or if the age was largely different from the start, etc. It's hard to piece that together the first time. Age being mentioned didn't necessarily put it all into context, right? But I see it now and I'm glad it was pointed out but I have to go into these things knowing I won't have the full story as the true fans might, and I say thtat before I start as well.
Even as a guy who gets the logic vs emotions struggle, I see more of her side during the argument scene, mostly because she's supposed to be 20 while he's 30 (you can see this with the lyrics about her turning 21 and then "I'll get older but your lovers stay my age" the dude is 40 today and his current gf is 25). That's a super big maturity gap and he's acting just like her while he decided to date somebody that's barely out of her teens. So it was much more on him to know how to deal with situations like this and be the bigger person so I really cannot see his side with that context, now if both were closer in age I would feel more like you did.
Also, I always find it interesting to hear your thoughts about songs because while I agree with a lot of what you say about the music industry (despite loving Taylor's music so much I listen to mostly rock with some metal/synthpop) you also seem to have a very different take on music than me and that makes me think.
EDIT: I'm just curious, my favorite band of all time is a Japanese rock band called X Japan, do you know them? If so what do you think about their music? What about Sonata Arctica (that's a Finish power metal band) that's another one of my favorites).
That does change things! Did I miss a clue as to the age gap in this song or is that something you get from the other songs on the album this was on? Because I totally missed that if so.
I've heard of the band but not familiar with their music.
The only clues in the short-film + song is that she says "they are all older than me, I feel so out of place" and the lyric "he said it's supposed to be fun, turning 21" but the reason most of us know is because the song is about Taylor's relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal, they went out when she was 20 and he was 29 and the actors in this film are 19 and 30.
I'm not sure you could get his age just from the song.
@@Mravenrocks i think the lyric 'you said: if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine' gave it away. It looks like the male character used the age gap as an excuse to break the relationship off.
she was going through a really hard time and it was during her tour rehearsal and she was about to cry n suddenly started just free styling this song for like 20 minutes n her band was just playing along with her n one of them recorded this and later gave it to her mom...most of the people and music critics say that this is her best song..this song is so special for swifties it's like a swifties anthem😂
I appreciate your review.
I’ve never been a fan of Taylor except from the cursory listen on radio play.
But this… I’ve had it on loop several times.
It’s masterfully done.
But the fight scene. That was an example of downplaying gaslighting behavior.
We’re used to it.
I’ve watched other men reacting to this. It made me smile when they saw the Gaslighting right away.
But I can see how we can see the two sides.
Men and women, react differently to situations.
He knew he didn’t hold her hand. (The pat, it was meant to probably reassure her and not show his peers their closeness)
He’s deflecting for sure.
Thank you! Guys and gals definitely react differently to different things. I think certain actions just mean more or less and that's ok. But the fact he was a good bit older gives him less slack.
Hey J, nice reaction video. Glad you liked the song and the video. it's been cool and interesting, watching you get to know Taylor's discography a bit and develop an appreciation for her work. I agree with what you said about how it's nice as an artist to be able to take your pain or whatever experience you are going through and to be able to turn it into art, something that is bigger than you and that other people can relate to. I think that is what Taylor has been doing her entire career with her songwriting. It's nice that you get that, instead of dismissing her as writing songs about her ex's or being petty or whatever the way so many other people have trivialized her currently and in the past. There is a lot more to her than that. About the kitchen scene. I, like you, can see both sides of it.. or I could to some extent at first. Like I understand that he maybe at the time didn't even notice he was ignoring her or that he dropped her hand, I could see that. But once he realized she felt that way, how hard would it have been to say you know what, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I had no idea you felt so out of place. these were my friends who I haven't seen in a long time and I got caught up catching up, I'm sorry. That would have defused the entire situation. She was just looking for reassurance. How much would that have cost him? Instead of getting defensive and lashing out and refusing to take any responsibility for what happened and telling her how crazy and selfish and and ridiculous her feelings were. We have to remember that this guy was 10 years older than her and this isn't the 1st time he has dated a much younger woman. This is this girls 1st time experiencing these feelings, she's got a lot to learn. He could have manned up and handled it differently. Everyone's feelings have validity, and just because someone doesn't understand another persons feelings or thinks that they would never feel that way, it doesn't change that fact that the other person DOES feel that way and that is valid. You don't see her telling him how ridiculous or crazy he is being even though she obviously doesn't understand. Invalidating someone's feelings is the wrong thing to do. Feelings aren't always logical, and I think if you expect people to be able to follow your logic or to just know something, you are going to end up being disappointed almost every time. Assumptions or jumping to conclusions will always get you in trouble. Everyone's perspective is different. t's better to go off of what people tell you. How can you expect someone to know something unless you tell them? That's my opinion anyway. Sorry for the rant lol! I also think you should check out Nothing New Ft Phoebe Bridgers. I think you would enjoy that one. It's crazy to think that she was that wise at the age of 22. The style of it reminds me a bit of Matthew Pryor. Also, It would be awesome if you checked out Miss Americana, Taylor's documentary on Netflix. I know you would have to cut it up on the channel but I think you would really enjoy that as well. Even if you watched it and just did a video where you talked about it afterward without playing clips of the video would be cool with me. Anyway, thanks for making you videos, I really like watching them. Take care.
Thanks for such a thoughtful comment! I think many songs are boring love songs with no depth or much personality to them because they just all hit the same cliches, you know? Maybe a few of Taylor's have but some are certainly better and more valuable than those songs I'm talking about.
Still yet to watch that documentary but if I find a way I can speak about it, I will. I might just do it Needledrop style and talk about it after having watched. It's the best way to avoid these copyright issues that come up.
That argument is pure gaslighting. "I don't think I'm making you feel that way, you're making yourself feel that way" "selfish", if my partner talked to me like that he'd see my back walking away faster than he could know what hit him. Red flags all over this argument. I've been in a relationship that had arguments like these during my late teens. When I got out of it years later than I should have and started going to therapy to make sense of the mess he left in my head, my therapist called it abuse. Mental and emotional abuse. While with him I was too close to the situation to see it, but afterwards it was pretty clear. I feel like this short film could help some women realize that they're in a bad situation. Maybe if it had existed ten years ago it would have helped me too.
Fair enough. But for someone to say "you're making me feel this way" could just as easily be labeled as the same. I think people are over simplifying the term and applying it too often and too liberally and unfortunately are missing out on the nuance of a situation that really says more than calling it gaslighting so quickly does.
The way you said “lmao the refrigerator light, what a waste of energy”
Maybe that’s what she meant 👀
It's possible. The light is much less wasteful than the cold air.
Hey man! I love seeing your appreciation for Taylor grow yet you still keep all your honesty and don’t say want you want people to hear, one of the reason why your reacting videos are special, plus you make great points, love your videos and keep doing you!
Thank you! Always try to keep an open mind and stay honest.
I always enjoy your Taylor reactions. I love her but I appreciate your view. Keep it up. You’re one of my favorites. ♥️
Hey, thanks! I'll do more sometime.
The shorter version was on the Red album in 2012. The 10 min version was the original written song before the album. The record label wanted a shorter version for the album. Now with the vault songs, she has the opportunity to release the 10 min one now.
I'm a fan of Taylor but I don't get mad when you pick on her lyrics I would rather you be truthful and honest about your opinion so thanks Steezy.
Thank you! I will always try to keep it honest, even if it brings me some hate. At least that way you guys trust my opinions to be genuine and not just about crowd pleasing.
Loved your insights! Hope to hear your music soon 💙
Loved your reaction 💕
It’s nice to get a professional opinion on a song we love so much. T. Y.
Regarding the argument; even though he asked what was wrong the tone he used with her was anything but understanding or coming from a place of wanting to put her at ease, just because he didn’t realize that he was insulting her or hurting her feelings doesn’t make her feelings invalid, and instead of listening to her he just talked over for the most part and made her feel even more insecure, classic gaslighting. And the “apology” was completely insincere.
I knew you would appreciate this song. You should listen to the whole album, lyrically is at the same level of Folklore and Evermore 👌🏻
Btw, if you do a podcast, I'd be really interested in listening to it 😄
Thanks! I just might do that. If it really is up on that caliber then it might be an album I enjoy. This was a fun and good listen for sure.
Working on the podcase, just seeing if anyone is interested. It might be really different from this kind of stuff but it would be fun to give it a shot.
Theres so many versions of all too well but the one that hits the hardest is the acoustic ver/5minutes. And the sad girl autumn version basically the ten minute one but piano
Which one is your favorite?
@@JSteezy if you are asking vocally, Sad Girl Autumn is vocally and emotionally stronger.
I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving and continue to feel better. I would be interested in a podcast. I'm glad you enjoyed this song. It has some lines that really resonate with me..."I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all" and "I'd like to be my old self again
But I'm still trying to find it"...and then pretty much the whole song, except for the refrigerator light. Wasting electricity and food going
Continued...bad. 🙂
Please react Nothing New (Taylor's Version) feat Phoebe Bridgers
Yes, this would be my suggestion for a further react also! Either that one or Better Man. Or I bet you think about me, because you can watch the new music video alongside it
Umm yeah, it’s not just a guys and girls thing, it’s a relationship thing. Sex at birth or gender really doesn’t matter. Same sex or opposite sex relationship it really doesn’t matter. Those miscommunication issues can really lead to pain.
Loved your reaction and appreciation for her song writing. It is why I love Taylor swift so much! You should check out Holy Ground, her BBC Radio live performance. I’d love your thoughts on it!
Thanks for the kind words and watching!
This Is precisely what happened what you’re saying is exactly what happened between her and Jake Gyllenhaal when she was 20 and he was 29 and everything that she’s telling you in the story is how it played out and he’s a douche bag
I think it would be nice if you listen and analyze the original song from 2012 and compare them to this version on ur own or make a video up to u but u should def try and listen to the original and process the difference from both. Cause the original is what ALL TOO WELL is ofcourse.
To me the 5 minute version is more reminiscent of this relationship and dynamic its more nostalgic and looking back. The ten minute version is kind of more angry i would say. I still prefer the cut down version imo.
He has zero right to be upset during that argument. He had no legs to stand on there. If they are hanging out with HIS friends that she don't know, it's HIS job to introduce her to them and keep her involved in the conversation. These are people who she's never met, they are all about a decade older than her so she can't relate to them, and he's the only one there that knows her. She was trying to get involved by taking his hand, and he completely dismissed her by dropping her hand. This tells us that he doesn't really care about her or care about her enough to keep her involved with everyone. He was the only one who made her feel comfortable, and then he acted like a completely different person - like she didn't matter at all. If he wanted to do that, hang out with them when she's not there. Don't make her feel alone in a room full of people.
Then when they argued about it, he doubled down on his stupidity by dismissing her again and gaslighting her by saying he didn't even notice dropping her hand and saying she's the selfish one because she just wanted the only person who knows/supposedly cares about her to notice her occasionally. All he had to do was hold her hand, or put his arm around her, or be courteous enough to occasionally involve her in the conversation. Then he ended it by invalidating her feelings about what happened and gave a half-assed apology just to stop the arguing. Not actually resolving anything.
I would also say that men and women are equally emotional and logical. Both of which are not mutually exclusive things. She had both logic and emotion in her argument, while he lacked both in his argument.
It's also worth noting that this is about when Taylor dated Jake Gyllenhaal. She was 20 and he was 29. He was MUCH older (and should have been much more mature) and broke up with her saying it was at least partly due to their age difference. He knew she was young when they started dating, and now over a decade later, he's still dating girls that age.
The point of the video is that they were so close in their relationship. She called themselves twin flames. But after they broke up, he was telling people that it wasn't a big deal - that it was just a fling/only 3 months. She was showing us that while it was short, it was deep. He mailed her things back except for her scarf, which he was later found by paparazzi wearing it out. He never said that he loved her/that they were in love until 3 months after they broke up when he was trying to get back together. But she knew it was over for good when he didn't show up to her 21st birthday.
There is so much info in this one song/era in her life, but these are at least the biggest bullet points. Hope this helps!
The difference about the fight scene is she wasn’t upset that he was upset but he got upset that she was upset with him. That’s the difference. She wasn’t feeling understood and he just blew it off like it was nothing. That sorry scene was suppose to be that. That he didn’t care and said sorry to shut her up and end the fight. That scene is just brutal.
I would like to see you reacting to cruel summer from her album Lover
Thanks! I will try to get around to this. Always turn to the fans for guidance on what to hear next.
My guess is the out of tune violin is representing the first crack in the glass, that’s the turning point in their relationship.
It Happened!!!!!!!!!!!!
12:15 I'm on the girl's side, she had more weight
she's a songwriter first with marketable overall package..
Apparently, she hides Easter Eggs in her music. I did catch the one in the Credits.
Haha any hints?
Who doesn't like wildest dreams?, omg!!!!
I guess me and a few who said they can understand why, or something like that. I guess we can disagree but I would love to ask you honstly, do you think it's one of her best songs? Do you think she has other songs that are better? I personally just don't think it's really up there with what I'd consider her best work.
@@JSteezy In my case,I also didn't used to like "Wildest dreams" but let's just say " Taylor's Version" make the song grown a lot for me .I loved her new vocals on the song and how she ended it ...💖🥰.So that ..I feellike it's quite the acquiered taste 😂😊
Please react to nothing new and forever winter. ❤️
Please react State Of Grace (Taylor's version)
yeahh he should react to that one too!
Do you listen to Keith Urban? Please listen to his live performance of Stupid boy and You'll think of Me. Love the way he played his electric guitar
I don't but maybe I can!
This was very much a straight man reacting
Would this be a good or bad thing if true?
The argument felt so real but then he ended up doing some gaslighting. Knowing it’s based on a nasty age gap relationship, you notice how he uses that as a dagger because he knows she hates it. I liked how you were talking about balancing logic and emotions and then said “they are wasting energy” because you are being honest. 😂
Noooope. That whole gaslighting argument did not "play out just fine".
If she is not part of catching up with friends, there is already something wrong with the relationship.
Research. True story regarding her 3 month relationship with Jake G. and how much she was hurt. Listen to the words again. ☮
That's cool how into the story of her love life you are invested in. It seems to be a real story telling event as opposed to some lame tabloid celebrity drama. I'll try to check it out sometime.
Exile is amazing long pond
Of course I don’t know them and this is supposition but I think maybe the scarf represents her virginity which the feelings may be stronger for her. Also the scarf in his eyes could be a trophy of it. And the dinner party isn’t more so as holding hands but the fact that he didn’t try to make her more comfortable. The least he could have done would be to try and get her involved instead of just ignoring he could have tried to ease her way. But this is what it says to me.
i see it the same way. And do think the scarf represents her virginity. But i obviously have no knowledge of that, but it seems reasonable.
Lol it’s just a scarf
🥺I would’ve rather see you reacting to the song and lyrics. It’s her magnus opus and the short film dilutes the way that one analyzes the song.
Well, it was highly requested that I watch/listen to this so I did it but I enjoyed doing the reaction and I think the visual is a good part of the story as well. I see your point but I think you could see the point of the other side as well, no?
My tears ricochet long ponds is about her old record label not a guy
Please, react to Bleachers "Chinatown "
He’s completely gaslighting her throughout the whole video. Remember when he threw the car keys on the ground? He didn’t even acknowledge she was in the room with his friends and turned her hand over rather than hold it. She’s not overreacting, he’s not a nice man. At all. He didn’t even show up for her 21st birthday.
It’s Jake Gyllenhaal being represented and he talked her into losing her virginity after she said she wanted to wait, he promptly dumped her afterwards.
Ok, if you're going to enter this world you need some background. J. Mayer was 32, she 19. This song, Would've, Could've, Should've and dear John chronicle her relationship. Whether you take her side or not HE has no right to play twisted games with an inexperienced young girl. From a psychological point of view. He shattered her.
Do the song Dear John last, because she wrote it when she turned 32. Same age as he was when he trifled with her.
The dishwashing scene screams gaslighting to me.
He took his much younger girlfriend to a dinner where she knew no one and ignored her. It is not complicated who is the bad guy here. Then he gaslighted her. It is textbook toxic behaviour.
Hi there 🐭🐹🐰
Hola!
Lol
“Hmm. It’s like an off tune violin or harmonica in the back that’s very distracting. It’s very low. I’m sure most of you wouldn’t even catch it.”
Dude! High horse much?? You need to step down because you’re not doing a great job here. You think we haven’t listened to this at least a dozen times EACH?? Your first listen and you’ve disrespected “most of” the people listening!! FFS. Listen to yourself.
After the fight scene that broke most of us… “yeah, that’s great. Just saying sorry. Yeah. Just great.” SHE IS ONLY 20/21 and he is 30! IT IS NOT OK! 🙄🙄🙄🙄
you're hot wtf
XD you're silly but thank you
He’s gaslighting hee.
Didn't like Wildest Dreams, the blasphemy!
I personally think she is the one wrong here. I went thru the same thing with my college ex, and he treated me WAY worse around his friends, than this guy, So I was used to it. This guy is mild is compared to what I went thru. But I never said a word about it. I did not want to give him the satisfaction. And I just tried to make my own friends when I was there, and act like I didn't care. Taylor should have done the same, lol. This hand thing at the dinner table was not enough. But I don't know what else he did during the night. They didn't show it. Maybe he ignored her all night too.
I think he could have been more inclusive but she really blew up as well. Some of the comments say he was gaslighting her but nobody said she was blowing up a lot more than reasonable for the events that occured. I'm not exactly saying that either but they both could have been better and I guess there's more expectation on the guy since he's a fair bit older, which I can agree with.
The problem here is she was calm even though she was hurt until he instigated and gaslighted her.
@@JSteezy agreed with your point completely. She overdid it but again not only she was a naive teen but also he was mentally pressurized and instigating her to react.
So, the song is 10 minutes long (the short film is slightly longer), but your reaction is nearly 40 minutes...
I think you should have listened more. You stepped on some of the most iconic lyrics... I read in the comments that you thought you may have missed any reference to their age difference in the song, and you were definitely talking over the lyric "You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die..."
You might have a perspective, but is it really worth almost 4 times what the original material is?? I mean, the comment about the refrigerator being left open? Come on, that was such a beautiful line, and your thought was about leaving the door open. Ugh.