My College Transition
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2017
- Video project for Homework; we had to depict a "transformation". I chose my college transition.
This is my first film! I hope you like it.
To use this video in a commercial player or broadcast, please email licensing@storyful.com
Created with Adobe Premiere
Check out my NYT article for an update: www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/we...
Check out my website for some things left unsaid: emerybergmann.wordpress.com/2...
Thank you so much for all your support - it really has meant the whole world to me.
TYPO IN THE SONG CREDIT:
Song: The Hustle - VAN McCoy (apologies Mr. McCoy)
wow I first watched this video about 9 months ago when I was starting freshman year. I related to every single part of it. just rediscovered this video now having finished my first year of college and just wanna say to any future freshman fall people who see this and relate that it really can get better :))))). once I stopped assuming that everybody already had friends and nobody wanted to hang out with me, and instead went ahead and asked people if they wanted to hang out rather than just waiting for people to come to me, things got a lot better. sending love to anyone feeling this way.
yes! sometimes being more proactive will help!
same here, like everyone was like “you’ll make tons of friends” and I’m like “when?”
im a month into my freshman year and this is exactly how i feel. EVERYTHING SUCKSSSSS
When did it get better
@@swill5243 it never will
@@Say2Cups cap
how is it now
Emery, I was on the phone with my freshman and transfer student yesterday for an hour. She was in tears, she feels disconnected and very alone and longs for a real connection. School is going well, classes are interesting, workload is tolerable, food is fine......... but feels very very alone. I just found your video in my feed and I'm sharing it with her. Thank you thank you thank you
I don't know if you still look at comments about this video, but if you do, I want to thank you for sharing. My daughter's first year in college was difficult; but, she seemed to keep busy & survived that first lonely summer semester. The fall semester seemed to bring new opportunities & the potential of new friends, now that she had roommates. But that hope quickly faded as she was considered odd man out - last one to arrive. Her friends from high school would visit and that offered some comfort, but then they would leave and she felt stuck again. She did join a club where she was active and felt a part of something and that helped as well. Then the Spring semester of 2020 arrived and well, it's been downhill since. It's was hard enough already, but then add the challenges of the pandemic and fighting the loneliness & depression is a daily battle. I've done exactly what your mom did, give her evidence that she wasn't alone. I even sent her a link to this video, well done by the way. I hope it helps her. I hope you have more. Did you ever make those friends? I hope so. Funny, you even look like my daughter. Well, this appears to have been therapy for me, so thanks. LOL All the best to you!
damn I can really relate. i feel like everyone at my school just parties so much but I don’t.
I’m also a college freshmen and I totally relate to this. Thanks for sharing!
Did it get better?
@@swill5243 it's been a long time since I was in college as a student (though I work at one now), but I'll say Freshman year was awkward...it got a bit better by the end of Freshman year, but really Sophomore year on was great. Just give it time, push yourself to try new things and meet new people (while not forgetting or ignoring who you are), and be patient. It's a huge adjustment.
@@swill5243 Wow, I forgot about this video until now. I can honestly say that it did get better. I went through so many ups and downs, I met my best friends in the whole world, I studied abroad, and I graduated and found a job I love. I still live with some of my college friends now and they feel like family to me. This might be oversharing, but I hope that any freshmen (or whoever) that sees this knows that it’s gonna be okay. Adjustments have never been easy for me. it always takes me a little longer to get into the flow of a new situation. but give yourself some time and try not to be hard on yourself. I’m rooting for you!
College sucked to me in general. I only made actual friends in the last year, but even then few were lasting relationships. I found my closest friends at work. Tbh, I hated college...
I have felt this way since leaving high school and I'm 26. Hang in there. Fingers crossed my posse is out there somewhere, and yours is too.
i remember watching this my freshman year of college and relating so much it was very sad but now i’m gonna be a junior and i have made a lot of friends since then :,) i think what really helped me was to realize that u only need a few close friends that u can rely on and u don’t need to have a huge friend group or anything and also that when ur meeting new people u should focus ur attention on them for the sole purpose of getting to know someone new and interesting for fun. then there’s less pressure and ur not constantly worrying about what they think of u. u gotta see if they’re worth YOUR time
absolutely. :) it's about creating a safe space for yourself to share your thoughts and be listened to, and also hearing authentic stories shared by your close friends.
I love this. I may be 53 but I remember the lonely nights. And dancing by myself in my room. 😂 It all worked out though. Hang in there!!
Oh nice, I'm glad things worked out for you at some point. I'm 24, about to get my degree in two-ish years, and I find it fascinating to hear about how people's lives were when they were around my age decades ago.
literally only in my first week but this video is the PERFECT representation for how I’m feeling so thank you so much!
Yeah me too haha
How is it now?
Wow I'm also a freshman at Cornell and this is so relatable. You have a lot of talent. This was a great reminder that there are other friendship hungry gremlins like me out there .
I’m a freshman in uni and it’s EXACTLY as you described lmao. I’m in my 3rd week now and immediately I saw how naive I was. I thought I was going to have this big group of girlfriends who went out and partied and had so much fun. What actually happened: I never felt so isolated in my life and cried alone in my dorm. I’m still friendless and isolated but I’ve gotten used to it and I don’t cry anymore. Hopefully it gets better...
How is it now?
Sophomore transfer student- no one has ever articulated this feeling quite so well. Thank you for this
Sophomore transfer student here 😢. How did things turn out??
@@otakoedits A lot has changed since then-- I've made friends with people in my major (we're studying at the library right now), and I found ways to find meaning in things besides my social life, too. I take a lot of time to focus on myself, my career, and take opportunities as they come up. It isn't a traditional college experience by any means for a lot of reasons, but at the same time, I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time. I think things will work out for you just fine, even if it takes some time :)
This shiz is so relatable yet like depressingly funny
Sorry to be a downer, but I am in my senior year, and am still feeling this way.
Michaela Penkala Maybe you should refine your personality
same, same, annnddd same.
Same!!!!
That doesn’t always help the situation though. Sometime it depends on the other people and if they want to accept you or not. אתה ברטון
@@user-bv3ns9iq5z It's not always a person's fault that they're lonely.
In my college freshman year, I remember meeting some people I related with, but they had different schedules and classes. Things didn't become a full-on friendship. I hope it does not happen my sophomore year. Portrayed emotion perfectly. Thank you for EVERYTHING.
I mean, you nailed what I'm feeling exactly right now. Awesome video!
I'm currently in the exact same situation!
It's been 3 months into freshman year of college and I still haven't been able to make friends...idk how long I'd have to be patient but not giving up
It might happen when you least expect it or even when you're not trying. In my first semester of college, I struggled to make any new friends until I was changing the oil in my car in the parking lot one day, and another student asked me to show him how to do that on his car. Next thing ya know, I was invited to hang out with him and his "posse" and they were my group throughout school. Keep your chin up.
Remember: smile, be warm and inviting, get outside and do stuff. I know I said it might happen when you're not trying, but if you can, initiate as much as you can. Consider that there are thousands of other students feeling just like you, hoping someone will reach out. If you're the one to reach out, there is a high probability you'll make friends with someone craving friendship just like you. If possible, find a niche, such as this one kid in my dorm that could give haircuts, so he gave free haircuts for the entire freshman year. He was the most popular guy around despite being relatively quiet. Anyways, good luck, it will happen!
same!
I never got to know someone replied to me! Anyway thank you
Hey man, how did things work out for you over the years?
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! It makes me feel a lot better to know there are people feeling the way I'm feeling, and that it's normal to feel lonely! It sucks that it feels like you're supposed to feel super awesome about college, but you talking about your college experience is really relatable!😊😊
Emery I'm a twin mom of freshmen at two very different schools and you nailed it! Listen to me and trust that you will meet your "people" but until then you are going to have to be enough and you ARE enough right now. Be patient and be kind to yourself. For those of us who didn't LOVE college... we survived and even thrived! Make the best of it and don't be so hard on yourself! You are obviously talented and thoughtful and gorgeous so at least you have all that inside of you already!
Emery -- Thanks for sharing. So many of us have felt this way at some point in our lives. I'm so happy that your honesty and vulnerability turned into some truly positive outcomes -- and that your video has helped others struggling with the same feelings. I'm going to share this with my boys -- one is going off to college next year and one is a few years younger. Thanks for being so real and for being you!
I just started school this fall as well and think this truly captures everything I’m going through. Awesome video and I wish you best of luck in the future.
Excellent video! loved it - especially the ending. Hope your college transition went well - I'm sharing this with my college freshman son, thanks so much Emery!
Nice job emery. I think you will find your place and your posse. Love the ending and how brave you were to share just the beginning of your journey.
What a great video! Thank you for sharing. I’m going to show this to my kid who will start college in the fall. Hang in there!
I love this! It really is normal to feel this way. The transition to college is rough. I'm a junior and I still feel lonely. I think as time goes on, I've felt more peace with it though, and really learned a lot about myself in the process! I know I'm a little late watching this video, but thanks for sharing :)
I am in my second semester of uni. At the beginning of the first semester, it seems that I made quite a lot of friends through clubs and meet-ups, but these friendships are quick to start and quick to drift away. Most of my friends had their own thing going on, started dating, or found someone that they got along better, etc. So even though I do have some friends, I do not have a close relationship with anyone, and my "best friend" is still from high school. I can be really sad sometimes remembering that one of them texted me "you are my best friend and I really appreciate you" and now they barely text me or talk to me anymore...(we just drift away) But I realized that friendships are better measured with phases. You are really good friends in one phase and when the phase pass, they make new connections and so will you. In the end, people come and go in your life but you will always have you. Realizing this, I feel a lot better when I am being alone or seeing my friends hanging out with others. Everyone has struggles, and social media is definitely toxic in this case.
yes people come and go. some friends come tgt for very practical purposes like assignments. I guess at our stage, it's about discovering ourselves and who we want as friends for the long term.
Often, it takes two hands to clap, it takes both sides to put in effort to make friendships work.
Though social media is good for updates, but those might not be the updates we truly seek, those might not be the conversations that fill our heart.
You're doing good managing your expectations by putting yourself first.
Perhaps all we need is to be able to share our true thoughts and feelings in a safe space and being listened to. And also hearing others share their authentic stories as well. :)
I'm going to leave you with few sentences that struck me while reading 'You're not listening', hope it helps you look out for what keeps your heart full:
'Listening is about the experience of being experienced. It’s when someone takes an interest in who you are and what you are doing. The lack of being known and accepted in this way leads to feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. What makes us feel most lonely and isolated in life is less often the results of a devastating traumatic event than the accumulation of occasions when nothing happened but something profitably could have. it’s the missed opportunity to connect when you weren’t listening or someone wasn’t really listening to you.'
All the best Kianna!!!
Emery: I am sooooo proud of you! I am a Cornell (Arts) graduate from the class of 1968, and for many years I have chaired the Cornell Alumni Admissions Ambassador Network ("CAAAN") serving Washington, DC, public and private schools. In addition, every August my husband and I host at our DC home the annual Cornell Frosh Send-Off Supper for about 150 frosh from DC, suburban Maryland, and northern Virginia. Now I plan to send every frosh who is invited to the send-off supper the link to your fabulous video! Congratulations. XXX Judy Gleklen Kopff
thank you so much for this. It helps so much to know I’m not the only one out there that feels this exact way.
I love this! My youngest is at UT and I think she feels the same way. Remember, there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
that hit kinda hard ngl, I just made a video on this topic as well! The transition is different for everyone and honestly you're so right about social media being toxic (it's kinda hard not to check sometimes lol). I'm getting better at handling this because I know that my first priority for being in school is to study anyway. To everyone else who has gone through the same thing, be patient and enjoy all the little things that happen in your journey/transition!
I'm two years in and I feel the same way still. All I do is study and engage in some extracurriculars. I hope this year I can make friends in study groups or something. It's probably my only shot at finding a "squad" to pillage and raid with.
We're all in this together. Your video is super cute and well produced. Hope you find your posse.
this is so amazing, thank you for saying it how it is. everyone their freshman year in college is feeling like this but no one will talk about it!
I think you're awesome and very creative! You go for it and good luck finding your friends. I have no doubt you will eventually. Thanks for passing this on to other folks feeling the same way.
Hey first off i found this video from your NYT article. College was a very hard time for me too, my freshmen year started off fine but you quickly learn that all those "friends" you meet are only around you because they are just as terrified of being alone and you don't really have anything in common. Second semester was a lonely time when everything finally broke that oh we really have nothing in common. Sophomore year i found a small friend group , but by February most of them were planning on leaving the school for one reason or the other so i did too. I got lucky at a new school where I was a commuter , Met one friend who introduced me to more all was good until the last couple weeks of my senior year. Something people don't talk about is that when people decide to walk a different path most of the time you don't stay friends. I have been out of school for a year now and I have to say its been a much simpler time, but I really only have one close friend who I see and talk to regularly. Whats worse is how hard it is to meet new people when you don't have the structure of college. Your video was great and really resonated with a very common problem of adult life
Right now I don’t have any friends at my college and I’ll be a sophomore in a few months. Also I don’t have any friends in my hometown so yeah I guess you can say I’m lonely
Maybe find an interest. Also build up how you feel about yourself. As in dating, it may happen when you least expect it.
mikayla you’re not alone! This is my third year in college and I feel lonely often. The reason why is probably because I had a falling-out with some of my close friends from college. Maybe try joining an organization you’re interested in, or talking to the people in your classes. Also, getting an on campus job can help you meet new people.
I'll be part of your posse
I’m a freshman in college right now and I’m feeling really sad about trying to find friends so it’s nice to know that others feel it too
I'm a college freshman and relate so hard. Thanks for this video
Loved your video, Emery! Your honesty and creativity were refreshing and inspiring. Bravo.
I’m graduating in May and even after joining clubs, putting myself out there, etc I still haven’t been able to make a single friend. My school is very small and cliquey so that definitely doesn’t help. This has made me feel worthless and lonely for so long. I’m hoping I’ll find my people after graduation. Unpopular opinion but college has been overrated for me.
Are you me, because that’s completely accurate? Wowie man, thank you for expressing this in a short film 👍🏼
Love it
Went from a big group of friends in school to eating lunch in the bathroom in college when I first started. It was super hard to see people just make friends right away and wonder what you are doing wrong and then all your home friends seem to be rocking the whole college lifestyle.
I did however find a group by starting my own society in college. It’s basically just realizing college isn’t going to be what you expect but what you make of it.
Great video 👌🏼
Thanks for this video. Cause this is exactly how I feel in high school and it sucks. Feeling lonely when other people are around sucks but you kinda give me hope. Knowing I’m not the only one struggling with this is pretty nice
Thank you for sharing your story. I love the way you integrated your thoughts with cartoons, music, and art and real elements.
This is exactly what I needed right now. I feeling the exact same way and am glad to know that someone understands and I'm not alone
Relateable asf. And so much respect for your boldness in sharing this, especially the dancing at the end... just great.
Bravo, Emily! You're definitely my kind of people.
Watching this because I'm reading your article, lol. Haven't finished reading it yet - figured I'd watch this first - but Jesus Christ is this video the most accurate I've seen for me, even though I've only been in college a week and a half. And then it's Covid season at that. :')
We loved it! My daughter is in sixth grade at a new school and this spoke to me. Loved being able to share it with her. Do the hustle!!!
you have such a talent for video creation/editing/production! thanks for sharing and for doing so in such a cool way. I'd be friends with you. as a college junior at a giant school who definitely felt lonely and even out of place/like a loser my freshman year when i had felt so cool in high school, my biggest advice (that I only realized a month or so ago) to everyone reading this thread is to find people who are passionate about the same things you are!
this is a beautifully made video and i 100% relate, even in my third year after joining a bunch of clubs. i've got a few friends, but not nearly as many as are "expected" from being an active college student. i think some of us are just not going to thrive in this style of social environment, and that's okay, as long as we take care of ourselves and do what we need to do to succeed, or at the very least make it through.
This was an incredible video. Please keep making more. Thank you.
Thank you, Emery. This applies to so many stages in life.
EMERY finally got around to watching this and it's f-ing amazing. You are amazing
I loved your editing style and message~ keep up the good work and your positive attitude!
thanks for talking about this, every stupid article is about how are you gonna find your people at uni and be best friends when in reality is based on luck for everyone if you find them or not, it doesn't matter if you are socially open as hell, some people will not want to be your friend
I love this. I am part of a parent FB at my son's college and a lot of students have exactly these feelings.
I always feel like a weirdo commenting on a 3-year-old video, but I honestly love this so much. I remember it every now and again, and it always makes me feel better when I watch it. I too look forward to the day when I burn and pillage with my posse
thank you for sharing this. it really makes a difference for people like me who still feel this way
Your video is Brilliantly Real and Beyond entertaining! I have a freshman daughter away at college this year, so this is very relatable. Thank you for this video. You have more gifts than you can even begin to realize. PS. I would LOVE to hang out with you! Their loss! Hang in there, and best of luck to you in all that you do.
Thank you! A great video I shared with my college freshman son, such an authentic conversational style.
Kudos!
Awesome video! Just saw this on Syracuse.com's webpage. Being out of college for over 12 years, I laughed throughout your video because I remembered going through the exact same thing in college. Trust me, college is great and you will definitely find your place but getting started is tough. But you'll get through it😊
this video is so good that now every freshman at UNC is watching it as part of our college thriving class :)
I can relate to the sense of being out of place during the first year of college, so I feel for you! Honestly though, this is just life. Whether it's for school, work, or whatever else alone time is a natural consequence of moving to a new area, and college may be just the first of many such transitions that you'll go through in your life. I have found the feeling of being plopped down in a new place with no friends or connections to be quite liberating. It's good to know how to be happy amidst that sense of spaciousness.
Thank you for this and for your NYTimes op-ed. I'll be sharing both with the freshman seminar I teach this week.
Love the video! I hope to see more great things from you. The end (dance sequence etc) was my favorite and very enjoyable. Hang in there, everyone learns college is a waste of time and money one way or another. Don't be afraid to talk to much or be too loud. Be you and love yourself, even your awkwardness, don't sweat social mishaps or jamming your foot in your mouth. Remember, you may not make (m)any lasting connections in college and that's okay.
Omg I had the hardest time adjusting when I got to school and it’s been two years and I’ve finally found people I’m really close with but you’re doing all the right things and college friendships happen differently for everyone
oh my! So relatable. Thank you for making this. Please share more of your thoughts on future videos.
This video is spot on, honest and totally relatable - I watched it twice.
It takes a while to form friendships, even in college. The first few months are usually the hardest. You're also attractive and have a sense of humor, so you won't be lonely for long one way or another. Keep engaging in extra curriculars and doing creative things, and, eventually, something will click. And volunteer. Try as many new things as you can.
Don't focus on your friendships from back home; those relationships tend to fade in time. In all likelihood, 10 years from now, you won't talk to most of them. They'll have families and jobs, and you'll have a family and a job, and you'll just be too busy. Always look forward, meet new people, try out new things, while you still can. Relationships are the currency of this world; the more you have, the richer you will be.
This is amazing! Wish this was around during my first year of college!! All the feels! Keep up the cool work :)
MIT rising sophomore here and I feel the same way; it's good to know that this isn't as uncommon as it seems in my head. Thanks for making this video!
Hey Emery! Just keep talking, and don't give up. Social Media is a killer, and thankfully wasn't as crazy 10 years ago when I as a freshman. Take a week to get off your phone (keep it in the dorm!) and challenge yourself to new things. Friendships take time. All the people in the "sqauds"...doesn't mean anything. You will meet people if you put yourself out there and give it time!!!
I'm a college freshmen and I feel the same way! Thank you for sharing this and know you're not alone
I’m going through the exact same situation. Thank you for making me feel a little less alone :)
See I know exactly what you mean. I feel everyone kinda came to college with their friends or made friends with their roommates. I don’t have a roommate or a suit buddy so that makes it hard. I mean I talk to ppl I’ve become familiar with some of them but they’re just not my type of friend. My friends went all different places but we still keep in contact. I’m mostly in my room on the phone, doing my work, or watching Netflix. It’s kinda sad 😂
Relatable 🤥🤥🤥
Hey that's so similar to me. Don't have roommate and don't have a close friend that I can relate to
girl sAme
Shanequa please leave your room! Great friends aren't gonna come prowling the halls looking for you! Actually early in college everyone is looking for friends so get out there and connect. If you wait too long a lot of people will have gone through the early awkward stage and moved onto deepen friendships and won"t be looking so hard as they are now. So get off CZcams and get out of your dorm room ❤💐
I need to teach you how to do "the Hustle"! I'm old and I still remember how! Going to share this vid with my daughter who is feeling the same way you are. Thank you for this. And good luck at school!
If you rock those sweet dance moves in public you'll have friends in no time!
Amazing video with a strong and real message for all college students!
You are awesome and talented. I don't know why but I was thinking about this very topic last night and I have an idea. My son is off to college in a couple of years and even though he is super excited about his future college experience I realize the problem you describe is very real. Thanks for making this!
Literally my exact situation at the moment but only been in school for 2 days
heyy same
Same here guys :( . It sucks. Everything she said I relate to and I’ve been so lonely and depressed.
i couldn’t possibly relate to this more. thanks for making me feel a little less alone :)))
You made a friend right here when I spotted that Grateful Dead shirt! I too am a freshman and this echoed the thoughts I've been expressing for the past month. Rock on!
This is awesome Emery! Sharing with my freshman!!
Incredible video. You are making the news with this video. Stay strong. You have skills, keep making youtube videos. Very neat. Loved it.
Really appreciate this video. Great editing as well!
This is the best thing I've seen. Also I had some friends in high school and undergrad but it took me until grad school to really find my posse. So not trying to discourage you but when they say it'll happen eventually, they do mean *eventually*. ;) Stay your charming brilliant self and you'll find people who gel with you.
This was so wonderful and relatable! Great (and honest) little film (:
I am obsessed with this.
What a lovely and honest film. While it has been MANY years since my freshman year, I remember similar feelings. Maybe schools will start to take more care in setting reasonable expectations for the transition into college.
UR NOT ALONE! This was the most relatable video!!!
wow. word for word how I felt my freshman year. I can relate to this so much. Oh, also I am a Film Major and I appreciate your editing of this video. I liked it a lot!!
I can totally relate to your video, I felt the exact same way my freshman year. I felt so alone my senior year that coming back in my sophomore year, I created intended to help future freshman make friends and not feel lonely or isolated in college.
Hun, You do you. I know this is a generic response, but as someone that worked at a MAJOR University here in the South, I have seen this time and again, and experienced it myself. The fact that you have come to the realizations you have at your age is astounding and there is no limit as to what you can do or who you can be.. You set that limit, and you have just knocked it out of the park with this video. Rock on.
Really well done video! I'm guessing that most college students will relate!
Brilliant! You will be fine in time, but it certainly feels bad. I felt like that forty seven years ago.