I fell in love with a straight guy (story time)
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- čas přidán 26. 11. 2019
- I share my story about how I was really crushing hard on a straight guy in High School after I came out. I expose some poems I wrote about him and reveal why he blocked me in the end... Thanks for watching!
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Thanks so much for watching and I hope you enjoyed. Leave any future video ideas you would like to see in the comments below!
#gaystorytime #straightguy #gaystraightguy
ok so... 1: i’m about to hit 100k on tiktok 💖🎉
2: i know it’s shallow to like someone only based off looks
3: i said i got blocked this year as in the beginning of this year. (like 9 months ago)
4. i didnt mention it but i also liked him because he was smart.
5: LMAO look at me getting defensive in the comments 🤣
6: THANKS FOR WATCHING & READING I LOVE YOU💖
Congrats on the Tiktok subs👍
I fuckin love you bro!
Half the guys you went to school with were probably gay. The reason nobody connected with you is because you are " too out". Would you go out with you?
You are the best bud 😄 Hope you and all your friends and family had a great day
You're so cute omg
I'm really sure that every gay guy has been thru the same.
Hi Jose, It's not exclusive to gay guys! Think about how many straight girls fall in love with gay guys. or guys and girls that fall in love with someone of the opposite sex and that person, just isn't interest.
i think it's human nature! everyone isn't an exact match for the person of their desires.!
Isn't "twinkstan" the sweetest guy on earth?
@@ronniecaron6827 totally agree!!!
@Dwayne Earls I did.... And I hope I won't go thru the same again. ... Did you?
And lgbt girls...
I had a straight female best friend that was crushing on me for years.. felt really bad telling her that I'm gay. She was heart broken
worse when you like a guy, find out he's bi, then still get rejected 😐
It isn't a "gay" thing. Straight girls get crushes on gay guys in the closet and get rejected. Straight guys get crushes on straight girls and get rejected. it happens to everyone, gay or straight. It always hurts. it's called a "crush" but it hurts when you get "crushed!"
@@ronniecaron6827 You know what hurts even more? Is getting rejected by all of your crushes.
@@scaboi Preach it. My life story.
@@ronniecaron6827 Yeah, that's true. It's just that the dating pool among gay people is like 1/10th the size of everyone else. That's what sucks.
Oof that hurt
In high school, my straight best friend was my “forever” crush.. by that I mean, til today, even with my healthy 7 years relationship, I still love him. We don’t talk anymore since we don’t live in the same country now, but ever since I left, I lost contact with all my school friends. I wasn’t out yet, but I had a feeling he knew, and he still cared. He was a great friend, but he’s still my fantasy sometimes. He’s engaged now to his long-time girlfriend.. funny part is, he’s like my “one that got away”, even tho there were never an “us”. 😭😅
Same with me, I love my best friend
Try out of highschool and him living with you 🤒👽🤖
Don't worry, I doubt there is a single gay person who doesn't have a variation of this story to tell ;)
Mark is right. I went through the same thing as you did but it was back in 1980-81 when I was a senior in high school. It was a whole different world back then. Like your scared multiplied by 1,000. Unfortunately at 56 I'm still waiting for my knight in shining armour to come rescue me. You have a much better chance of finding Mr Right. I wish you the best 😊
@@davidcribley hey
I just wanted to say that your the knight in shining armor and eventually your going to find another night to add to the HAPPYNESS you are already capable of creating.
I love you, keep going 💓
Highschool I think everyone struggled, but honestly gays had it so much harder. I went through a similar experience. I really liked this guy for 4 years. And we would just always hang at school, and we were kinda inseparable. Towards my final days of high school we kinda just started growing apart so I kinda gave up hope, so when all the students were saying goodbye he gave me the biggest hug ever. And embarrassing enough...I cried. Yeeeet.
Going through something similar rn. Early sophomore year, This guy approached me during PE and asked about something. At first he seemed kind of cute, not anything special. But I don’t know how, my thoughts running through my head were like “omg, I’m gonna catch feelings” even though at the moment I wasn’t very impressed or anything. It was a very weird experience in that moment and extremely surreal looking back at it. Anyways that conversation was short and the next day his schedule was switched and he ended up getting in most of the same classes with me. At this point I felt like a protagonist in a show. Even more unbelievable, during biology he asked me to come sit next to him and help him with his work since he needed to catch up(he was in regular biology and I was in honors). During that period we talked and he asked for my snap and I was like hell yeah. So next period we had lunch and he went with his friend group and I went to mine. Next day however, he did something so incredible, like I literally felt like I was asleep or in a simulation and someone was making me live through this unbelievable scenario. He decided to hang out with me Instead of going with his usual friends. Literally On our third day since meeting each other he chose me over his longtime friends. At this point I was completely in love. Also I noticed he had a very pitched voice and he had feminine mannerisms like the way he stood. I thought he was gay and I told myself this was it, I’d found someone without even coming out. For the next weeks we were immediately inseparable. A lot of my friends also thought he was gay so they teased me a lot, but I didn’t care he was my new best friend and I just wanted his spare time. Quickly I thought I should confess to him because I didn’t want him to think of me as a friend, I knew I needed to act fast if I wanted to be more with him. Everything seemed so perfect and for the first time in my life I was really confident. However, I indirectly found out he liked girls. Now, I know he might be bi but at that moment my world was shattered, I was so confident that he was gay. The self-doubt began and I didn’t confess my love. I started to question if all the affection he showed me was romance or if my brain just perceived friendship as something more than it was. After that I entered the most anxious, sad, and dreadful phase in my life. And he felt those vibes from me, I know because he started to occasionally hang out with his old friends instead of me. This made me jealous and it destroyed my self-esteem even more. We were still undeniably best friends to everyone else but I think between us we felt tension. I distanced myself from him mentally and our conversations became very dull. Every night was torture. I had never really cried before but this made cry myself to sleep nearly every night. I started to self-harm as well which I never even considered before. The worst of all was how I couldn’t get out of the situation. On one hand I loved him intensely and I wanted nothing more than to spend every second with him, even if we were just friends. On the other, I was overcome by jealousy and I dreaded going to school to talk to him. Every night I would try to forget him, knowing I’d have to talk to him the next day. I don’t know why I tried to forget, it was so illogical but there was nothing else to do. My life went from the highest point it’s ever been to the lowest point because of a single statement. I know today that my brain blew everything out of proportion and I feel much better today. When sophomore year ended I was happy and it gave me time to reflect. During summer break my mental health improved drastically. When junior year started we talked again like we used to and everything was almost reaching my highest point again. Eventually I came out to him and only him. I figured if he knew I was gay and if he was remotely interested in me he’d start making moves but nothing really changed. He has acted differently for sure, but I don’t know if he just feels closer towards me because he knows I trust him or if it’s romantic. I doubt it’s the latter, but that’s where I’m at right now. We are still best friends and I still love him so much. Good news is I don’t self harm anymore and ever since I came out to him I feel more confident in myself and comfortable in my sexuality. I think I might confess before Christmas, but idk.
Diogenes Iohannes wow great story! i’m glad you were confident to come out and stopped self harm 💖😄 maybe one day hell make a move or something or maybe not. i’ll keep my fingers crossed for you though 🌈
Its crazy how we've all lived the same life I .. 👁👄👁 Anyways Don't over stress. if loving someone causes you pain, step back and remember your the one that literally stuck with you forever, the real tragedy is destroying your relationship with yourself.
So what happened?? 👀👀👀
@@adamlewis522 Fr, like I just read this whole essay on his romance and didn't get an ending. Like dude?? Maybe hit us with the update? You married now? How many kids?
Awe Chris, this so reminds me of my time in High school, I was a shy guy but there were about 6-7 girls from the year below me that used to follow me home and all my guy friends used to wonder why I didn't want to go out with any of them ( I eventually did to hide being gay) but I had a massive crush on a guy, who turned on me one day for staring at him, it put me off him because he was so nasty. I then had a crush on another guy and we became friends nothing ever happened , I was his best man at his wedding we still keep in contact ( I left school in 1976) I never came out until I was 28. I've been with the same guy for 30 years and still in love. I hope you don't mind an old guy following you but I find you entertaining an although things have become better for our community , our feelings, our anxieties and inhibitions haven't changed. All the best.Gx
Secretly being a thang is what I've been doing for years. Recently got hurt again & I've decided to only seek people who are comfortable with their sexuality. It hurts being a secret or some kind of side piece. I want to feel special.
Is it shady to only want to be friends with attractive people 👀
Hotcheetojuice teaaaa i knew someone would say this but i have ugly friends too
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Basically attractiveness to you might not be attractiveness to other people
haha! Everyone's idea of "who is attractive" is different. Some think it's the jocks and cheerleaders and others think they are in heaven, if they are in a room full of teck geeks and science wiz kids and nerds.
if your talking about the boy/girl next door, all american look, you would have to be living on a studio lot at disney and all your friends are fellow "pritty boy/girl actors. Real friends are the ones who love, respect and appreciate you, to spite your flaws. It's possible that you have a lack of confidence and you feel you need to be validated by surrounding yourself with the "beautiful people!" It's ok! it's superficial, but not shady!
Maybe one day I can be one of your ugly friends Chris?
@@stephencourton3328 meeeeee toooooo ugly squad 👯
worse when he's friends with you and there's all the platonicity in the air and you haang out with him and shit when you secretly just want to run away with him, leaving everyone behind. also he's straight, obviously. We are all doomed.
A team mate, seduced me, when i was in high school! (i was willing) Then wouldn't recognize my existence after that, unless he (in secret) needed to be intimate! Then he would text me with the excuse, he needed help with an assignment.
Lots of straight looking guys in the closet, run far and fast away from guys they think or know are gay! !
They think it's "guilt by association!"" I wasn't out and had I pretend girlfriends.
one night he came over to study, on a weekend, with booz and smoke! We went further then ever before and he told me, he was and had been in love with me!
After the weekend, 2 teammates (friends) told me, he had told them he came over to study and i got him drunk and stoned and tried to seduce him!
i was totally stunned.
My responce was "Ha Ha, It must have be wishful thinking!" and
that " It's not possible, because i was away with my family for the weekend!"
A few weeks later, after he broke up with his girlfriend, he texted me again about coming to study! I responded with "Sorry, I'm busy with your X girlfriend, this weekend!" haha
"
Ronnie Caron WOW!!!
Ronnie Caron -- Nicely done! You should feel proud of that. (Even though it probably hurt more than you let on.) I wish you much love and a happy life!
wow, i want to be that stable and strong!
Who ever you end up with will be the happiest man ever
Your poems were so beautiful Chris, it reminded me of my teenage years also, memories flashed right through my mind while reading it, and I can't help but cry so hard, These poems weren't corny Chris, these were a product of your experience, a beautiful experience, Actually you are so lucky to document these experiences into words, People don't usually do that, but talented and poetic people like you do, Imagine years and years from now you could still look back and read these poems and just reminisce on your past experiences, and probably read it together with the love of your life, your soul mate, your destiny, your one true love, the love we all hope to have...Thank you so much for this Chris, you are my favorite CZcamsr now, you gave me a lot of inspiration. I am still in the closet, at age mid 20s, I still am in a very dark place, My community is such a judgmental one, Most of my friends are Straight, and they also think im straight, i've had girlfriends, I do and did love them, but it just doesn't feel right, I feel like I am looking for someone that I can't get from the opposite sex. I hope i'll be able to go through this, to finally be free. I just want to be free. :*(
It's hard to be friends with someone your severely attracted to especially when feelings are involved.
Christopher Taylor facts haha
it happens with straight people as well. Girl has a crush on a friend who is a boy or the other way around!. It's awesome when 2 people who are friends, gay or straight, if they both feel the same way about each other and to shy or scared to push the envelope!.
Awww its so sweet that you learned his routine just to see him. I was lucky, I had a boyfriend right through highschool, from 14yo til 19yo. We kept it secret but were inseparable and people would comment, but never in a mean way. More just friendly teasing. I went to an all-boy highschool and I honestly think that with no girls around guys dont feel the need to be all macho and "prove themselves". So there wasnt really any bullying. Also I was a bit of a jock so that shielded me a little too. When we graduated and went to different colleges he decided he was "straight" and we dont talk now at all. But I was glad to have had that experience.
Hi Kaboom, we have a lot in common. For parts of highschool, i went to an all boys boarding school!. the summer before my freshman year, i went to a 2 week soccer camp at school. The captain of the team befriended me and it must have been obvious, because other boys on his team, would come and tell me how lucky i was for him to pay so much attention to me and they were sure it meant i would be picked to play on the varsity team.
his girlfriend came up for a few days and was staying at our schools sister school. He invited me to dinner with them. I had a huge crush on him.
I got to school a few weeks later and it turned out, that he was the sr. proctor of my dorm. He had arranged beforehand, that i get the only single room on the floor, in a small alcove at the end of the hall. just our rooms and a bathroom.
I was happier than a pig in shit. after dropping off my bags, i was out for the rest of the day. When i came back to my room to change, for dinner, i opened my door. All my clothes were unpacked and put away!...we didn't have maid service and i was in shock. I saw him at dinner. He came to my table, put his hand on my shoulder and said "wait for me and i'll walk you back.
the boys at my table, were in shocked and jealous. Some of them were on the team. They said, if he's paying attention to you like that, your year is made.
. It was the beginning of the weekend. we walked back to the dorm. he opened the door and asked if everything was whee i wanted it. My knees were shaking. He said his girlfriend wasn't going to get to her school until the following week and instead of going to the movies, like everyone else around, we could just hang in my room. He he went to his and brought back some beers. haha
after a while, he told me his back was fucked up from his workout and would i mind giving him a rub. Ha Ha. I knew what he meant but it wasn't his back i was interested in rubbing. haha.
after a few beers and my bad attempt to fix his strained back, he said "get on your belly and i'll show you how to give a real massage. It wasn't long before he had me down to my boxers. It's a much longer story, that lasted for the year. He always had his girlfriend (who loved me like a kid brother) but i was number 1.
His girlfriend didn't graduate, until the following year, so he would come back on weekends and stay with me.
i spent my jr. year at a coed day school and had a very interesting (bad) experience with "straight" (haha) jock.
I love your stories..you do a fantastic job with all those little inserts and your poetry is amazing . I hope you keep that up..I’m 71 now and believe me I could relate to a lot , A LOT , of what you went through ,of course here in Australia in those years it was illegal to be gay so I had virtually no way of meeting people..anyway keep up your blog you’re a very good entertainer..
Chris,Your words bring back so many memories and the same feelings that I had for a classmate from 55 years ago - I've watched this video twice now....THANK YOU!
We have all been in your shoes, so don’t worry. Thanks for sharing your story. ❤️ The poems are so sweet
Man i agree, plus my family turn their back on me. Thank God for my best friend. But i stand behind you man.
Litterally just got over a situation like this.
I just love your teenage angst. Thanks for sharing something so personal as this (and your poems) with us. You're the best.
I hope this video provided you some closure. I feel everything you said and literally had tears while reading. I literally always use "the heart wants what the heart wants" when I'm talking to a friend about someone I like. Amazing video. You're also such a great writer. Those poems are 🔥. (cue: I saw the secret message) 💙
You're so brave for opening up and just know you're such an inspiration to a lot of us and i'm pretty sure a lot appreciate you i bet a lot of people dream of being with you even if you don't see it, keep being the brave special sweet man that you are and we'll keep on seeing your vids and supporting you king ! Good luck out there and you should be proud of yourself cuz we love you
I love watching you talk about anything personal. Sharing your heart. Maybe because you are so cute, or bright or willing to be so intimate and defenseless. You are so beautiful!
I am so Proud of you for sharing these stories. I know so many people can connect and it's important that you were brave enough to make them!
Keep being an example! ❤️👍
Thanks much Chris for this video. Had similar experience when I attended college. At first we were friends, he was so cool to be with. Finally, I told him how much I liked him and if there was a chance that we could be boyfriends. He said “I like you a lot but not that way.” I was crushed and fell into being depressed. Decided to put distance between us and It took me a long to time to get over my sadness. Still think about him. Thanks for sharing your fantasy. It really helped me to get a bit more it more closure, but he will always be my gone fantasy. Enjoy your posts and I hope you continue to share. You seem like a very intelligent young man as well as insightful and thoughtful. Best wishes.🌈
I can totally relate. Thanks so much for genuinely sharing and talking about this stuff. ❤️
"And the CZcamsr Award for a Gay Male in a Drama/Comedy or Musical goes to..." Actually this was very touching and we all appreciate your honesty and sharing such touching details of your life. Thank you Chris.
"Unrequited love. It's fantastic 'cause it never has to change, it never has to grow up and it never has to die!!" (Queer as Folk, British version.) I went through the same thing at work when I was 16, but never told the guy. "Mister Sandman" was the hit song at the moment and I still feel the sad nostalgia whenever I hear it 66 years later. I had girls profess this hopeless love to me over the years . . . not because I was such a hottie, but because as a dancer I worked a lot of girls.
Serious thanks for sharing so intimately.
“Never, never, never give up!” (not on a specific crush, but on love and life.)
Wow! Your videos are just so plain, open, and honest! What an amazing person you are. I really enjoy and admire you and can relate to parts of your story, parts I long forgot were also part of mine. These tales are bound to help some other souls in the same boat. More power to you, Chris!
I cried the whole way through that first poem. Every gay guy has this same story to tell, including me, so hearing that story from outside of you always makes you feel the intense sympathy only shared experiences of love can create.
Thanks for sharing Chris, whilst it's very sad in one respect, that he didn't want to get to know you, it's great that we talk about these experiences to let people know that they aren't alone when similar things happen. A very brave, heart-felt, and personal thing to share..... at the end of it all... his loss I say ;-)
Dude I know this is an old video but your vulnerability is commendable. I stand with you bro, always. I fought that battle and lost, you stood tall, and you are a hero for so many other people, you just dont know them. I luv ya bro!
I wouldnt read my poems from those years out loud publicly, you are a star!
Omg most of what you said was almost close to what happened. Me and the two poems made me cry lol and yes there are still times since after my. Break up last week ill just sit out side in the freezing cold and wish that i wasn't alone its not easy finding someone. I know you don't know me all that much but i really do look up to you you are that role model that i have been needing in my life. I wished we could at least be friends none of my friends will even talk to me after i had came. But you are like my hero and i really look up to you! I love watching your video's on here most of them have been really helpful and some are really funny as i want to see a poem one for next time. Hope you have had a fantastic day today as well!
And also my birthday was Tuesday!
Awesome video. I know exactly what you were going through 😢💔. I hope this video was therapeutic for you.
Omg I love your video made me cry a bit because I know how u feel I was the same and yes he blocked me too lol but I'm over it know but still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him but what I'm trying to say is thanks for sharing your story with us xo
Your videos really help me out ! I was in a shitty and depressed mood about my life and sexuality but I hopped on CZcams for some relatable entertainment and clicked on one of your videos
I know the feeling of wanting a boyfriend badly... it sucks
Man, it is so familiar to me. When I was in high school and had a crash for the first time - this guy was straight. Thereafter I had 5 more crash on guys (I am 1000000 % gAy) and all of boys were straight. For the 3 years I fall in love only in straight guys. Maybe someday I will meet that guy and live with him the rest of my life and finally I will be fully happy. So why have I write this? Your video was truly sincere, so I decided to just as sincerely write my mini story and wish you what I wrote in the previous sentence. Thank you for your content. Любим. Все будет хорошо
Hey Chris, Thanks for sharing this and your beautiful poems. My story is very similar except an amped up version. From the moment this guy transferred to my school (grade 7) until I told him how I felt 11 years later, my entire being, heart, body and soul was all about loving him and spending time with him. I'm not sure how but we even became friends which turned out to be the worst thing for me. I tore myself apart inside and shredded my soul making this guy happy, he suspected I was gay and that I liked him but I denied it, terrified of losing the chance to be around him because I knew he was str8 but hoped maybe he was in the closet and his family telling me they think he's closet gay just solidified my deranged fantasy. So I stuck it out and when he saw a girl he liked I got her name for him, when they were dating I wrote the love poems he gave to his gf, I planned, decorated, made the love song mix and played waiter at their romantic valentines dinner and also picked out her valentines gift. Crazy right !? Some years later he started ghosting me, haven't heard from him since. I thought once I learned to avoid the "Sorry, I'm Str8" dagger through the heart I'd find my "King" as you say but, I still battle with relationships to this day, even with gay guys there are so many barriers that disqualify me somehow from being 'allowed' to feel for someone, to have a hand hold mine.... to hug. I felt your pain as you laid your heart out and thought it's time I do the same. So thank you for doing what you do, I hope it inspires others to find a better way and find the love we all crave and deserve.
Your first crush's response was actually really gentle. He's trying to be staight-forward and not hurt your feelings.
Your honesty is freaking amazing. Proud of you bro.
Who hasn't done this it happened to me but I was lucky one of my friends was gay and he became my boyfriend great video can't wait to see the next one love ya ❤😘😘🎉
@Dwayne Earls
Actually he's now my husband we got married on August 24th of last year
@Dwayne Earls
One it was when I was in high school don't you understand that you don't know how to figure it out I'm probably older than you are figure this out I graduated in 86
@@robertbissonnette5160 your extreamly lucky, don't let go of him
OMG - Still home, sick, and checking out some of your videos... especially ones with titles that I can/could relate to.
So, we are from TOTALLY different generations, but what I find SO emotionally overwhelming is that SO many of MY High School, growing up feelings and experiences are relatable to yours... up to a Point! That "point" is that had I ever "came out" in High School (even in California) back in the years 1977 to 1980 (I graduated in '80 - :O Yes, I'm THAT old) I would have joined the pile of rotting bodies beaten to a pulp by the "jocks"... you know, the ones even SUSPECTED as being "family." It was UGLY. Staying DEEP in the Closet wasn't a conscious choice, it was a pure survival instinct.
I really admire that you had the balls to reach out to someone you were so spellbound with, even if it resulted in some form of rejection, however, listening to you detail how you would "stalk" a guy you found studly, WOW can I relate. I had one who was a Varsity Football Team Captain and I would sit for HOURS in the student parking lot, just waiting for a chance to see him walk out of the locker room after practice. Twice... I got out of my truck and went into the Lockerroom to "get homework" out of my GYM locker that I had "forgotten" - PRAYING that my timing would be right to catch him walking to or from the showers (Stalking Level: Felonious/Deadly) but OMG did it pay off - once!
The world has come SO FAR with regard to "acceptance," but we still have miles to go - Your Channel is a massive boost in that direction, major props to you for that!
Thanks for "Being You."
I had 8 secret guy crushes from HS to college until 23 yo. I’m 44 now and still remember every one. I was scared of bars and clubs bc internalized homophobia which I didn’t know then.
Beautiful poems!❤ Whish I had known you in High School back in the 1980s!❤ You have a poets heart.❤
Them poems got me so emotional. Your so like me but older. I came out last year exactly to the day and still struggle now. I see all these straight people with bf and gfs and i cant get anyone. But im sure a handsome chap like you will be able to get somone soon xx 😍😊
Wow. What a story. I'm literally living the same thing this very minute and I HATE the pain and can't seem to move on or finally be over this guy. Yep, idiot me, sitting here on Thanksgiving "hoping" this guy would pick of the phone and say "happy thanksgiving," but it didn't happen. Worse yet, I lived with this guy for 2 months and did have a very intimate friendship with him even though he told me he's "mostly straigh." He's been gone now for over a year and despite how fucking painful it's been the entire year, all I have to do is hear his assigned ringtone and all that pain would go away instantly. He's text me twice in the past year asking for things he wanted and never really engages with me. He won't even stop to talk when we come upon each other. Uggh. Thanks for your video brother. I hope it gets better for both of us. Happy Thanksgiving buddy. I'm subscribing, rang that bell and of course, here's your comment. You really touched me today.
Your poems had me in tears. They were wonderful. Boy could I relate.
At least he was nice about it, I was expecting him to be mad or something
I agree with you ! My feelings are that the guy he was crushing on, was totally straight and secure in his masculinity and was probably flattered by the attention. Dumb shit guys, who are close minded, insecure and stupid and maybe in the closet, act like assholes if they think another guy is interested in them.
Giving you A++ on your poems...so talented💕⭐️
Your poem, you said it might be corny, but in reality, its beautiful, it actually made me cry. That is your experience chris, and that is a part of you, don't ever think it is corny, it is a beautiful experience, we all have been there, thank you for putting it into words and to be able to share it to us like this. Our story matters Chris...yours, mine. everyone. so thank you.
Know what you’re feeling man. I am a firefighter/paramedic surrounded by great looking straight guys all the time. However, they all like it when I compliment them on their looks or whatever. They take it as a true compliment because they think all gay guys have exceptional taste. Thank you for the video. Will be watching for more. BTW: You shouldn’t have any problems finding a partner. You are genuine and nice looking. Don’t ever give up!
Oh this is soo, heartbreaking. Thx for the story. Happy Thanksgiving.
“ i saw the secret message”
Chris
Superb video !
The story time is cool.
You are telling us, how it was at the beginning, with some of the crush you have.
I enjoy a lot the story time, have being there.
If you want, and could be possible, tell us, how you work it out, to navigate those days, from whom and how you got the intern strength, to figure it out, and made things start to happen for you.
i enjoy a lot your authenticity on the video.
Wish you the best, you are a great guy, and will get and find, whatever you are looking for on life. 👍💪.
Grettings from mexico 🇲🇽
➡️ Your editing is a masterpiece, is very precise, on point, making it smooth to watch.
It's not immature to have feelings Chris. It's human. I wish I could tell you it gets better but you're doing it right! Keep your heart open and love will find its way in. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've been there. It sucks to fall for someone you know will never feel the same. It's even worse if it's a friend and you have to see them happy with someone else. Sending you the biggest hug.
I can so relate to your video!! I still follow my 'friend" on his social media. It kinda helps... kinda hurts.. my mental well being but such is life. Hey, not for nothing, I found your page today and really enjoyed your content on tiktok! You're funny as hell. Oh and don't be surprised if you still think of him randomly in like 5 years or more. Anyways, I have found your video editing skills awesome and your content fun, funny & just generally kickin. Wishing you the very best!
Omg Chris. I have a story so similar to yours it brings back so much sadness for me and I feel the same sadness for you. I think only a gay guy can relate to how so many of us can fall so hard for a straight man. I'm quite a bit older than you but I can truthfully say I've only really been in love with 2 guys my entire life. One was the straight guy and the other was my first gay relationship that lasted for only about 3 years. I've been in a couple of other relationships with guys I really liked but never had the deep love I had for the first two guys I fell in love with. I even lived with one of these other guys for over 15 years and never felt the way I did about my first loves. And that is really sad. So I know exactly how you feel about loving a guy who is straight that can never love you back. After I first met my straight guy way back in the 7th grade we became friends. In the 8th grade we were actually great friends and hung out a lot together. He was not an all out masculine guy so I thought there was a chance he could be gay or bi. Back then (in the late 60s) nobody came out. I don't think I ever knew for sure any guy through high school that was openly gay. So that made things a lot harder than it is today. But if he felt the same way about me that I did about him, that wouldn't have mattered. We would have found ways to be together. I fantasized that he'd ask me for a sleepover in the very early days and I didn't have the courage to ask him. We stayed friends somewhat throughout high school and even today we are friends on FB. And I think that makes things even sadder that we can be friends but never lovers. It is still hurtful to this day so see pictures of him with his wife and 4 kids on his FB page when it should have been pictures of him and me (in my dreams!). So Chris, I wish I could tell you that you'll forget about him as time goes on but if you feel about him the way I did, those feelings may not be as strong but will never go away. And I really hope you'll soon find another love that's as strong as the one you have for your straight fantasy guy. I still use my older friend's name in some of my passwords and at times I still think about and wish I could have been his life partner. I did meet his wife many years ago and she's really nice and she even invited me to their house for lunch back in the day and I even accepted a few times but because I moved away about 10 years after HS, we sort of lost touch. They say you never forget your first love and that was absolutely true for me. I wish you find true happiness with another guy of your dreams and you'll be together for many years. Much love, Joseph
Touching video, it reminded me of something that I did a few years back that was similar, and when the person blocked, let’s say, sad was an understatement. Even though it wasn’t an attempt to get relationship, since i had one, I just wanted to get along. Watching en listening to your story set off several alarm bells that I knew I did then as well, so now it all feels logical. Thank you, I clarified for myself a couple of things😉🙂
Oh my god I’m not even half way and I relate pretty close 😢 first time I cried in forever when he found out and blocked EVERYWHERE. Even irl, then I lost my closest friend I ever had, then lost my sanity 🤣
George Marshall, when he blocked you everywhere, he showed that he was not your friend. Friends stand by their friends even during stressful times.
You're too sweet. Your poems are great. I hope you find someone that will really love you for who you are. I experienced the same thing for 10 years. I am still single (forever). It's nice that you know who you are and are proud of it. Unrequited and forbidden love are painful.
Thank you for telling the world your story. Just wanted to also say that's a really cool hoodie you're wearing.
Awesome you share such personal experiences that likely help others in similar situations.
Amazing poems! I admire your skills in writing poems. You are very talented. Keep writing and inspiring us!
OMG I just started watching, and I love your hoodie! 💜💙💚💛🧡
You are very good at storytelling and I love when you post your videos. I follow you on Instagram and TikTok too! I love your sense of humor. Here’s a best wish to find your king’s hand which by the way rimes with TwinkStan and Kings hand.
Ciao Chris, dang dude you got some talent. Love the poems. I hope you show more.
I love, appreciate all your videos but especially this one that you bared your heart and soul to the world. You are a dream ideal beautiful human being !
Being gay in high school sucks!! It was so bad for me that I had to drop out and do GED to graduate. Gay friendly schools did not exist!! I think every gay guy has had your experience, or similar.
Sucks in high school, but really sucks when every friend you have is married and you haven’t really dated yet. Lol. Appreciate your calm vibes. Thanks for the videos.
You are too sweet. 😂. I’ve tried a long distance thing, but I suck at it.
OMG love your hoodie, its so cute, I love the colors
I had the same with a straight guy. I found his ID card on the floor. When I returned it to him. My heart was racing so fast I could not catch my breath to talk to him. I have the same feelings for you.
That was such a good video Chris. I love that you’re not afraid to show yourself as you are, even if it did get a little stalkerish lol. Keep being yourself 😘
1. Literally saw this one video of yours and I’m love your personality and vibe so I had to instantly subscribe!
2. OMG LOL!! Ohhh how this is sooo relatable!! I had the exact same experience in high school (though I was still in the closet). I would purposely take different routes to my classes or sit in specifics spots in class just so I could stare and get their attention 😅. All those guys were straight tho
3. Also you’re hella cute so you’ll find that right guy for you!!
Those are beautiful poems!!! Love it!!
Tough situation but it will also help you to be better prepared for the next situation. You're young, nice looking and will very likely meet someone you fall in love with. Good luck.
I had crushes like that from a young age and in high school felt the same way about a couple of guys, rearranged my route so I could see them, etc. I probably would have been blocked, but this was before the Internet was available ;). I was lucky enough to have some sexual experiences when I was young with other boys, but didn’t come out to my family until I was 25. Thanks for sharing your epxerience.
I'm new here. Took the time to view your videos.
I believe your channel will go the distance.
I wish you well, but I have no doubt you have your act together. It really does help to view your videos to get a sense of what your about. Thumbs up 👍
I can relate, had a huge crush on my bestfriend but knew it wouldn't work because of him being straight. Only the out come was slightly different, like 3 years after we had graduated he sent me a DM and came out as bi. But by that time I had moved to another state 😅 btw love the poems!
Hey, sad story but I give you a lot of credit for being brave, coming out in high school & telling those cute boys how you felt. I don't think you were too stalker-ish lol, you just liked them so much & wanted to talk to them & for them to like you, perfectly normal :)
omg im so sorry you had to go through that, it must have been so hard xx
I love your poetry! So sweet & emotional!
goddamn! 😕 i know i’m 2 years late for watching your videos but i’d like to say that i feel sorry for all you’ve been through since you came out. all the story is sad but when you some parts of your life at that time (like when you say “i literally sat alone”) it makes me feel so sad. i hope you’re doing great nowadays. it’s hard to be different today and it was way harder years ago. i feel happy to see people being happy with their boyfriends and being what they want to be out loud for everyone to see. i’m 30yo and i hadn’t that opportunity and i know i could start from now on. but the thing is: i’m used to be a character today. that kid i was in 2005 tried too hard to be the tough guy i am nowadays. so i can’t throw it away. anyway, i feel sorry for you having lunch alone in the past. and i’m proud of you for being who you are (even though i chose to hide). 🇧🇷✌🏻
Awwww the poems.So sweet!!!Love you from Brazil.
Awwww I loved the poems great video!
Adorable as always.
Oh boy, I feel u bro! Ur still young, we gotta be patient. The right one will come.
Aww! I’m a little older than you and this story brought back some memories from senior year of HS. I too was crushing on a straight best friend. I wrote poetry about him and thought I was so artistic. 🤣 I even used to third wheel on his dates with his GF 🤦🏻♂️
Chris I relate to you story almost to a tee. Your poems are beautiful, and I love watching every one of your blogs. I wish I could have been the one for you.. I want to hold your hand.
Same has happened to me - and most all of us, I think....... and I love looking up at the stars too, and sometimes cry, when I think about mine....
Cindy Daniel sings a beautiful song about the exact same feelings (straight version of course), but omg so hauntingly beautiful!
Don't know if you know french or not, but she puts your sentiments in the most perfect words and lyrics ever!
Under a rain of stars:
You are who I love
You are missed by me
If one day you also
Feel that you love me
We could be two
And try to be happy.
- and honestly, I have always always wanted to hear a male version, both in french and english, and believe it could get some radio and video play.....i watched a few of your music vids, and since you are becoming a singer too....I would love to see you maybe sing this song!!!!!!
You actually have the exact emotions and words and feelings and love of stars and the past....that I think you could bring a real emotion to singing it that could be as haunting as Cindy is here.
Cindy Daniel - Sous la pluie d'étoiles
czcams.com/video/1NI5Fvy11do/video.html
Many of us have similar stories. I hope as time progresses that more of us can connect with like-minded individuals as we are going through middle and high school so that we can get the same types of experiences as our straight counterparts. It's disheartening how so many of us fall for straight guys and we sometimes put them in a position to have to reject us harshly or to block us because we didn't accept their first "no" or "I'm straight." Ugh. It's complicated. I understand.
@twinkstan wow the poem is too romantic and sad at the sams time...LOVE YOU❤️❤️
emotionally honest & brave are good traits. Wanting to be near someone you long for should be encouraged in general. I get my share of Chasers...I do befriend some even if not attracted, do try to make them feel good about taking a chance etc...without leading them on even tho theyre not my type, bc we all know how stressful / brave that is. I hope you get some similiar msgs from admirers...If nothing else but as an ego boost etc...
Your story is universal.
your poems are actually soo good
we all can relate trust me
I feel sad and depressed now that u read that. It is beautiful and that's very heart warming. Thank you for sharing that.
If we were in school with you least I would of heard you out. No one even now thinks I'm gay until I make myself be a bit more fem. I would of not let u be alone and friendless.
Bro! Your poems are actually good! You made it seem like they were gonna be all dramatic and they weren't!