The Case of Lori Erica Ruff | What Dark Secret Was She Hiding?
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2022
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Is it just me or were her in-laws slightly obsessed with trying to find dirt on her? Investigating her history while she’s alive is one thing, but doing that after she passes is a bit crazy. They went through such extreme lengths to unravel someone’s life who had been private from the start. It’s a sad case and you’re left with many questions, but I hope Lori is now at peace.
I agree. Why are they so desperate for answers when they didn't like her from the jump? She committed suicide so clearly she wasn't after your damn money
Nope,not just u, but I think it was more than slightly obsessed.😳 They just could not wait to get into her house, either. I bet they almost broke their legs tryin to get there so fast...it probably felt like Christmas morning or a treasure hunt for them. Some ppl suck so bad 😣😒
I kind of wonder if she was way more awkward about her past than written accounts of the situation can possibly relay. I tried to imagine if my sibling or best friend was marrying someone with no friends or family, no evidence of existence before dating my sibling/friend that I can gather…. And they are super weird about it, would I be suspicious? I was definitely mad at his family at first, but I’m starting to at least UNDERSTAND their frustration. Not saying I agree with them or how they handled it… but I guess I can sort of understand.
@@ashleyw6160 yeah the thought of them ripping through her private items made me a bit sick :/
@@lindahawkins9327 are you part of the family, Linda? You sound like those obsessed family members.
Never get involved with a momma's boy. It never ends well.
Been there done that
Never get involved with a narcissistic family*
Blake is a spoiled little mama’s boy. Also leaving his wife on Fathers Day and running back to his mommy, daddy and brother who speaks for him, is a total dick move and isn’t surprising at all, considering his immature and hurtful behaviour. He certainly takes after his family, which isn’t a good thing. Nasty, undermining and judgemental people. I wonder how well they would stand up to the scrutiny they subjected Lori to. 🤨
Fucking seriously. 😒 My mom’s ex husband was an abusive shit who almost shot her and when they left each other she spread rumors around town that my mom cheated!
So true
They did EXACTLY what she was afraid they’d do. They broke up her marriage and took her daughter away. That breaks my heart.
I’ve heard her story many times and each time she was vilified. You’re the first vlogger to find the humanity. Thank you.
She doesnt deserve to be vilified
Jesus
But what did she do to be vilified? She sounds like the victim in this case.
Shame on her husband for not giving her her place and telling his family to mind their own business during her life and after .
I don’t understand why people have vilified her tho
When you first mentioned the easy bake oven, I immediately thought she must have not had a healthy childhood. I feel so bad for her! She seemed to just want to live her life with her husband and daughter and she was judged harshly. What a tragedy.
My suspicion is her father was SAing her and her mother blamed her. It would explain why her mother never looked for her and explain why she didn't trust anyone to be alone with her daughter. I could be way off base but no matter what caused her to run, I think she deserves praise for going out on her own, getting her GED and putting herself through college. I understand his family's curiosity but her behavior indicated she escaped a painful event, not prison, and they should have respected her decision without having to give reason. If she thought they needed to know she would have included it in her letters. It seems to me that their wealth makes them think they are entitled to know when they really don't.
I agree! It’s also clear that she had access to money but declined it so why would she be with him solely for that
I agree. I feel like most evidence points to her being abused, most likely by her father, and she developed into a very frightened, lonely person who didn't trust other people. She was obviously very diligent and smart about covering her tracks, yet she's described as emotionally and socially stunted. I think she must've been a very intelligent, but very hurt lady, who didn't get the help she needed unfortunately. It's so so sad that her daughter won't get a chance to ask those questions.
I believe this as well.
Agreed, first thought.
I absolutely agree with this theory. This was my very first thought. My second IMMEDIATE thought was she was in the witness protection program LOL NOT SURE if that could be tracked but it did cross my mind
The theory that seems the most believable to me is that she ran away from an abusive household. The somewhat childish interests she had make me think that she was sort of healing her inner child. It seems to me that all she wanted was having the nice family life she never had. Overall kinda sad the way she spiraled after her marriage fell apart.
Also could be why she completely broke down after she thought she would lose her daughter because of the divorce because she desperately wanted a family of her own
I agree, It also could be something that happened in school. If she was bullied maybe?
I agree. And I believe that both parents were abusive on some way. What happened to her biological sibling ?
Yeah, I think you nailed it. Makes sense why it would’ve hurt her so much to not feel accepted into their family.. if they were always trying to pry about her past when all she wanted to do was move on from it and have the nice family life like you said. The letter also didn’t seem crazy, but really heartfelt and tragic.
Would also explain why she wouldn't allow family members to baby sit!
I’m like 5 minutes away from finishing this and it genuinely just feels like she was traumatized and wanted to start a whole new life. It’s not like she got with Blake and showed an ugly side (that we know of) so it seems likely she was just a hurt person that wanted her own family. It hurts to think that the family thought the worst and then neither of them gave each other a chance. So sad.
I completely agree!!!
Definitely at the minimum was trying to escape her past and severely depressed
Any parents that just lets their child just run away and doesn’t put any effort into stopping or finding her gives me major red flags that something was up in her childhood
My theory has always been that her childhood home was abusive. I also firmly believe that he father was very sexually abusive to her and her mom knew. That's why she refused the inheritance and then changed her identity after that because it was so triggering for her and also that she would never get closure or justice for her abuse bc now her father was dead. I think her mom knew about the abuse that's why she never looked for her own daughter and refused to be interviewed.
This poor woman suffered so much and Blake's family absolutely disgusts me! They turned their nose up at this woman and were so cold to her instead of trying to get to know her and be patient. They ruined her only happiness she has ever had, this case is not some great mystery it's a complete tragedy.
The name Kimberley could have been a trigger!
I agree 100% with your theory. She was so deeply hurt by whatever her father did that she wanted to be distanced as much as possible from him and his name. Wonder if her older sister ever gave any info on their life growing up.
i completely agree but am curious as to why you think she was SA?
@@elliebellie561 This cases too often go that way. Unfortunately.
She was also a dancer in gentlemans club. Well, that is a common sign too.
Yes I fully agree with your assesment! I firmly believe that she was sexually abused as a child too.
Just wanna say: @17:30 This is why I have a problem with counseling that is done without proper licensing and supervision. No actual therapist worth their weight in salt would allow a third-party to infiltrate treatment sessions like this!!!!
My psychiatrist invited my father to some sessions, but only with my permission.
If both parties "consented".
@@Elena-tq9vs right! Of course 👌🏼 My point though is that any real therapist would likely not have allowed someone who had taken a strong adverserial position towards Lori and their marriage to come into what should be a safe space for the couple because it would likely only justify and allow him to further implant himself in their relationship. Therapy is highly concerned with reducing harm and risk for harm as much as possible and idk… this is just not it… Not to mention that Lori clearly required serious psychiatric intervention and I can’t help but feel like she was talking to someone who couldn’t offer that.
EXACTLY
She needed a real counselor/therapist
Maybe a real one would have nudged her to see the obvious issues with blake and his family
There are a lot of emotionally abusive licensed psychologists
I feel so bad for Lori. I just hope she is at peace now. His family should be ashamed at how they treated her and how they acted. Personally I blame them for her death as well because if they had just accepted her I believe she would still be here. The amount of time, effort and money they put into trying to expose her after she had passed is just disgusting and the fact they found nothing I’d like to think makes them feel some sort of guilt as to the way they treated her but let’s be honest, they probably don’t. From what it looks like to me, it looks like she just wanted to completely disconnect from her old life and start a fresh. (Sadly, probably due to abuse I’m thinking) but regardless. She just wanted to find to find someone who she could start her own family with. Which she found, but unfortunately his family had to ruin it. I just hope that her daughter is ok and that whatever she wrote in that letter was at least somewhat comforting to her. I hope Blake feels some sort of guilt as well but again I won’t hold my breath.
I'm sure Blake feels bad, but I bet the family doesn't care about his feelings.
He was weak in my eyes, her misfortune was meeting him in my opinion. His family had full control of him to the point that his brother spoke for him. They disgust me! What right did they have to this girl’s life, to humiliate her in life and in death. To discredit her and still gaslight her feelings by calling her letters as a crazy person rambles. They can justify their actions w/ “oh we were just concern for her daughter and our son” all they want, it won’t wash away their shit. We are all entitled to our privacy, our secrets and our pain. I’m not saying she was perfect, or that their marriage wasn’t rocky even w/o the presence of the monster-in-laws but I think they could have worked it out w/ counseling. Maybe even talk about her past. But I feel like she never felt save bc she knew that he would tell his family. It’s a sad story
@@lolawhiterabbit yep I completely agree 100%. I know I don’t personally know the family but honestly I really, genuinely feel true disgust for that family an how they treated her.
I really hope karma is able to pay them a visit sometime soon. I know she’s busy an all an has a lot of calls to make but, this is one call that she needs to make an I just hope she is able to make soon.
Also ‘monster-in-laws’ is spot on lol.
Its like his family were hell bent on finding something wrong with her which they couldn’t let go even after the poor women died.
@@lolawhiterabbit well said.
The fact that she up and left 84k says so much about her relationship with her father and what may have occurred leading to her leaving and changing her identity. Never heard of this case, which is almost never a thing for me!
My heart bleeds for this lady. So so sad. Why do people have to prod at others wounds to justify their own curiosity and morbid need to vilify them. It’s so strange. She finally found what she always craved so deeply, just to be torn apart and hurt all over again. RIP 🕊
I hope Blake's family is eaten by guilt every day for how they treated her and judged her and how they took her family from her.
@@lindahawkins9327 nope I'm not kidding, they were shitty af to her and went way too far just to find dirt on her. It's not like they dug all this up on her because they cared about her. Even if they didn't treat her as horribly as its claimed (which I doubt), no one goes this far for positive reasons. They weren't concerned it would pop up later for her daughter if they knew they had to dig this deep and that she had changed her name. That's just an excuse, and a shitty unbelievable one at that. They probably felt guilty for how they treated her and all the shit they talked and spent a ton of time, money and resources to try to find a reason to justify it.
@@lindahawkins9327 I'm guessing you know the family if you're so hell bent on defending them, but it doesn't make them any less shitty and judgemental. And if you don't know them, it's weird af that you think that they didn't do anything wrong when all evidence and reports say otherwise. Either way I'm not going to argue with someone that defends trash people like this, birds of a feather and all that.
@@BriEMcN the are going on to everyones post thats defending her and pointing out how bad the family is and having a hissy fit i think they have a connection
@@lindahawkins9327 take a chill pill sister. This woman took her own life from the pain she was in, caused by others, her whole life, especially by the people with money who think that because they have money they have a license to do what they want and know whatever they want, you know, the whole ‘privelage’ issue that ruins society, and you say no one wanted to hurt her. Get back in your box
The mother wouldn't speak to the press 'cause most probably she failed her. The pastor she had confided to in her teens could shed more light. She seemed like someone who was reliving an "ideal" childhood after getting married. This is quite a sad one. Incredible storytelling, Bella!
I wonder if the new husband was abusive as well 🤔
I think the pastor needs to keep private information confidential....
@@ericag5346 Yeah... It's a part of his duty. She must have been through a lot to have resorted to going complete incognito. 😞
@@rosarosarosa totally agree with you!
At first, I thought witness protection. Then, just getting away from her abusive family. I do feel for her though. Her motives with marriage and having a child seem so pure.
I thought the same, but I do think that there was an element of abuse (or neglect) in her first life that got to the point where she wanted absolutely nothing to do with her biological family. The fact that she ended her life before the divorce makes me think that she probably didn't have a caring/attentive family in childhood. Worrying about letting others in his family hold the kid also sounds like an indication of trauma, like maybe she was abused by a relative and therefore can't trust any adult alone with her kid.
@@TheScarletAlchemist I concure with pretty much everything you said.
@@TheScarletAlchemist I understand trauma may play a part in her behavior, but I still find her intentions like the commenter mentioned pure
@@FLmanispretty all she wanted was a group/family that cared about her as a person, and that's generally what most people want, so yeah.
@@TheScarletAlchemist But why go to these lengths? It seemed easy for her to just disappear and go away once - she even declined her inheritance and they left it at that. Why change your identity so many times?
As someone who was SA as a child (not by my father) and then went on to marry a religious man who cheated and ended up in divorce I can 100% understand her mentality. My ex husbands behaviour sent me spiralling for months to the point where he constantly called me crazy and was fearful of me?! Despite being the one who gaslit and manipulated situations to be the cause of my traumatised reactions. My husband would go quiet whenever anyone offered to intervene also!
This poor woman thought she had found her happily ever after and instead found a spineless husband who would rather run that sort their shit out.
And if it was my father who abused me and my mother did nothing about it then I would run and change my name so I had nothing to ever do with them too
Hope you're better and safe now❤️
This is what I’m talking about! First I am so sorry for what happened to you, I completely understand some of what you went through (I was SA as a child). But I agree that her misfortune was to meet a spineless man and then marry him. He ruined her more w/ the help of his family
This case is honestly just so sad, obviously none of us knew her as a person so we can’t fully judge Blake’s family but I can’t help but wonder if things would’ve been different had they accepted her more. Her daughter lost a mother, just heart breaking 💔
Oh I am judging them.
@@aedansilva1114 me too.
@@aedansilva1114 understandable
@@aedansilva1114 I can understand the family’s suspicions. I also believe that if they’d accepted her and supported their son’s decision to marry her and their relationship, she may have felt that she belonged somewhere and may have eventually opened up to them about her past.
It’s just so sad.
How can they accept a person that is very secretive? I don't blae her but I will be skeptical too
For her to run away this thoroughly as a teen, and then refuse the 84k her dad left her.. It really feels like there was some sort of abuse involved.
Seems obvious that she was abused by her father and felt betrayed by her mother for letting that happen. Thats why she left, refused the money and changer her identity. Probably why she killed herself when she lost her family again. Its an easy case when you can relate to it
Agreed
@@lindahawkins9327 girl if u got some solid reason to be saying wrong please do share, otherwise let people theorize
@@lindahawkins9327 no, thank you for clarifying. all you said was wrong, so no one had any reason to believe you were doing anything but trolling i’m sorry
@@lindahawkins9327 You *absolutely* need to say more! That is not an entitlement gained (pretending to know something that nobody else does) just because she was supposedly married to your cousin - if you truly had Any interest or information that Law Enforcement needed to solve this mystery, well then, we would all be looking at a completely different story and surely, you would have been a part of it. But you aren't; and your anger over it is showing in all of your spammy comments on every other post of this video's feed. Bring something other than your personal opinion heavily laced with judgement; Then everyone might pay attention to you.
@@lindahawkins9327 So?? And?? That means nothing.
That family was horrifying. Just weird, rude and cruel. Had they just not cared so damn much she wouldn’t have done this. Poor thing. She just wanted to have a nice family. Note: if your in laws are crappy, don’t try to win them over.
As someone estranged from my family for 13 years due to abuse I understand why she’d go to the lengths to change her identity.
I would find my daughter in laws not wanting to have her marriage announced in the paper as a good thing-like she's not using your name for clout or status
Exactly I don’t think everyone wants their name and face in the paper. I’m not an introvert or anything but wouldn’t want that kind of information out there..
@@aali9778 exactly!! I totally am an introvert lol and even now I don't use my real name on anything. You just never know these days!
plus they could’ve still announced the marriage without stating her name or using her picture
"He didn't have much of an inner monologue going on"
That sounds SO RELAXING
14 mins in and I can relate to this lady! I’m really private, I’m an introvert so standing around chatting with a group of women who don’t like me isn’t something I would do, I’d also rather have a nap. But yeah I’m very private and selective about who I share my past and my personal stuff with
Also sounds like she may have had an undiagnosed condition such as autism or a mental health condition
I'm the same way I'm super careful Hey Bella A Good Day just Got Better
I concur….
🖐🏻Nap~Nasty🤚🏻
I’ll take the nap over nasty every time !!!
@@cmeyummy naps are the best
Blake's family are a prime example that no amount of money can buy you class!
Being in this situation myself, once you get judged by your partner’s family, you never want to be around them again. I finally blocked my MIL after 5 years of narcissistic abuse.
his family is absolutely terrible and so is the husband for allowing them to treat her that way. her past isn’t their business either. i feel so sorry for her i hope she’s resting well now.
I honestly think her home life as a child must have been bad enough for her wanting to get away and lose complete contact with her family. I feel bad for her, she finally got the family she wanted but losing her spouse and going through a divorce was not an option for her..it was too hard to bare for her that she chose to just end her life. So sad!
Can we really be sure she wasn’t murdered? It seems suspicious that her father in law wouldn’t have noticed blood all over the windshield or heard the gunshot.
And the typed out letters!
@@tubecat4596 i have trouble believing they would take the time to write an 11 page letter
December early in the morning. The guy probably didn’t even want to be near the car so just seeing it was hers was enough for him to go back inside. Also, I believe an autopsy was performed. Gunshot residue can show up in a suicide victim.
They just wanted to find a excuse for their son.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Not a rambling of a disturbed person but a heart broken letter 😢🌸
Usually I’d be against someone making a true crime video about someone’s suicide case, but Bella did this so well. I’m honestly very impressed because the entire time I was thinking “god I hope this women didn’t commit suicide”. But the way that she illustrated Lori’s life and her experience with Blake’s family is so important. The media made her out to be some crazed divorcee that ended her life abruptly for no reason. Lori was so much more than that and deserves to be remembered as the loving wife and mother that she always wanted to be! 😢❤️ well done Bella, much appreciated
This family was sinfully obsessed with a wild obsession. Let her Rest In Peace.
I appreciate Bella SO much for seeing the humanity in Lori. This story sounds a lot like some snobby rich people who used their power and status to vilify her in the public. Lori was clearly a hurt soul who came from a lot of family trauma. The family which should’ve been her new happy place vilified her from day one, took away her only happiness and pushed her into depression. My heart breaks for Lori and her daughter who will never grow up with her mom because of the awful grandmother
She ran away from her family. Her husband failed her and she was within her right to not want to open up to people if she didn’t need to.
People have this horrible sense of entitlement about others and claim it’s out of “worry”, “their interest,” or some other invasive bullshit.
It’s so sad that she wanted a child so badly and went through everything to have one and then her life ended that way :(
I feel so sorry for Lori 💔 she seemed she just wanted a happy marriage and family and her husbands family were too much. I wouldn’t want to spend time with people who were horrible from the get go either!
@@lindahawkins9327 But for some strange reason, your family couldn't respect her wishe to be private and not find out & air *her* so-called "dirty laundry"? Come on, lady - you sound pissed off and bitter, trying so hard to defend you and your family's obvious double standards 🙄
@@Gen-X_Dirtbag The sad thing is - if she is a member of the family (and it seems like a good bet she is) then it just proves how horrible they must talk about Lori to her daughter.
@@KaraAlissa21 That’s what bothers me, considering all of the Horrible things that Linda Hawkins has been saying on everyone's feeds - strange how she deleted everything and disappeared after she was met with so much public disapproval for her cruelty.....she sounds like a terrible person who is capable of doing terrible things (just my opinion) 🤷🏼♀️
@@Gen-X_Dirtbag I wish I saw what she was saying. I did some digging myself after seeing everyone’s replies back to her deleted messages and she is in fact related to the family. Linda if you’re looking please tell us what/how Blake felt after loris passing? What did your family do with her daughters letter? We have so many questions
There was a pretty popular book from the 60s/70s which gave instructions for how to change your identity and disappear. Getting the birth certificate of a deceased child was a process described in that book as I recall. She might just have vanished by the manual, like many people did.
I have some choice words for the Ruff family. They are some real pieces of........work. I'll just say that. RIP Lori. I wish you were loved properly. I hope the family can redeem themselves by raising her daughter to know nothing other than how her mother loved her more than anything in the world.
I don’t think they can do anything to redeem their unkind, judgemental and ridiculous behaviour towards Lori.
if his family wasn’t so adamant that she was hiding something and just accepted her how she was, i truly believe she would still be here today. i mean, it’s ultimately what drove their relationship apart, so it’s not too far off. it just makes me sad for her. she didn’t deserve any of this 🥺
😢
All I know is you don't run away from a happy home, & the family never tried to find her. Plus she wanted nothing to do with her inheritance.
Super valid point
I really feel bad for Lori. I wish she could have opened up a little. I don’t think she had bad intentions. I understand the family wanting to be protective but it all seems like a bit much. Blake is a grown man , he could have read what Lori left for him and respected her wishes.
my heart hurts for lori. i feel like she was running from her past, and just wanted to leave it there. she didn’t want to relive it. the ruff family tried to force her to do so, and it ended up costing her life. they should feel ashamed of themselves.
Poor Lori. I bet she wasn't hiding anything criminal, I think she was probably hiding herself from someone dangerous. My heart hurts for her. I can almost imagine the pain she felt, the desperation, in the end. Rest in peace
This is so so so sad. I truly feel she was traumatized from her childhood, and with no one standing up for her she learned how to deal on her own. Her being contacted after her father passed probably triggered her and she just needed a safe space away from that life where no one could find her. Then she found that, and Blake’s family failed her. I hope her daughter is able to learn only positives about her mom.
this is so sad. the fact that she didn't take the inheritance says it all. she deserved so much better. i can see where blakes family is coming from but even after death? thats so invasive and uncalled for. horrible.
To me, It sounds like she escaped from one abusive and toxic family into the embrace of another toxic one when all she wanted was to live in peace with her baby and husband, but they couldn’t even give her that; she was let down by everyone in her life sadly. Rest in peace😢
I can’t help but think that Lori would still be alive today if her husband’s family didn’t villainize her and eventually ostracize her from their family. Now her daughter has to grow up without a mother. 💔 And as far as her past goes, I can’t help but think that she had been SA abused by her father and that is why she ran away and changed her identity to start a new life. But clearly we will never know the full story. It also seems like her mental health deteriorated dramatically after her husband left and she was losing custody of her daughter as well. It is clear that she desperately wanted to create a family that she didn’t have growing up. Rest in peace Lori. 🌹
It's 3:17 am in India and here I am watching Bella with a cup of tea, pulling an all nighter
Love Bella,❤
Personally, I’m a very private person and if one day I have children I won’t I introduce them to all of my family, just because a big part of my relatives aren’t good people. We need to respect our pasts and decisions.
Being abused she didn't want to be that person anymore so she changed her identity to someone else. The money left to her would connect her to who she was and what she had to put up with - very sad 😢🌸
I'm curious to hear what Blake and his family's reaction was when they had all the information. We're they finally satisfied with what they found now that it's all out. I highly doubt they felt bad when they realized she was just running from a bad home life and trying to start over.
He recently responded to some reportes saying he assumed something awful happened to her for her to not be able to get along with his family .
I bet he knew more about her past than his family did he just never let on. It’s hard to believe that someone would be married to someone and have a kid with them without saying ANYTHING about their childhood or past, even if she was a private person.
@@mckinneypassios4273 where was this posted?
@beautysfnm I believe it was in an interview but this was 9 months ago so I couldn't tell you exactly
Considering the possibility of abuse you said she was incredibly over protective of her daughter. I went through abuse and I was over the top protective my daughter. She also wasn't allowed to stay anywhere or be watched by anyone. How else can you guarantee that they will not be subjected to some form of abuse. Now my daughter and I are both over protective of my grandchildren. We have kids over to our house but they aren't allowed to spend the night with others. Right or wrong I don't know but after going through what I did I can't handle the possibility of something happening to them that could have been prevented. But it also doesn't make sense that after her father passed she ran again. Unless maybe her stepfather did something? IDK definitely more questions than answers.
I think that the fact that the estate agent was able to track her down freaked her out enough that she decided that simply running away wasn't enough, she needed to change her identity completely to not be trackable.
I completely understand. I was abused as well by my grandfather and I am super protective of my daughter's.
@@asemi4 yess for sure
My father was violent growing up and there have been times as an adult where I have heard he was living in the same city and so I wad afraid to go outside and had to move to a new city. When she spoke in circles confessing to the pastor - that was the most heart breaking thing to me, because being stuck in that state is like hell. When you experience massive trauma it attaches to your nervous system, your body and your mindset. You can become paranoid or hung up on things. I am a very brave person, but I do produce a lot of adrenaline all the time and have had to be on betablockers since I was a teenager. It really is like I am going to war every single day. If I had kids I sure as hell would not trust them with people either.
I thought I finished the case once Lori passed away, now I’m disgusted, they thought Lori was not right in the head but they were the messed up ones
This story hit home 🥲 I was also abused, the same situation my mother didn't believe me. I had no one to turn, too. I was abused from the age of 9 to the age of 12. At 16, I was able to get a job. My aunt then moved to a bigger house, and she allowed me to rent her house so I could get out. It was still very traumatic for me to go to this age of 50 for the first time I started counseling. It has affected me in many ways.
As a daughter who left home in 2016 and hasn’t been back since, I can say whole heartedly that no child runs away from home for no reason. I changed my identity 5 years later, I went through a lot of emotions with that decision. I liked my surname but it belonged to my abusers, and I wasn’t proud to be one of them. Why should they take my name back from me when they have already taken so much? My parents never looked for me either, in fact they drove me to the train station and said “off you go then”. They reached out once or twice but that was to say “if you want to pretend this never happened I suppose we can forgive you” not to offer any resolution, because they were never wrong you see, especially to their children. I changed my name on my 30th birthday as a fresh start, that person is dead, and I have to pretend that my whole family is dead so I don’t panic every time a see a middle aged woman with my mums haircut. My partners family have always been very suspicious of me for the same reason, because I didn’t see why I had to divulge my trauma to complete strangers for them to be able to judge my character. They say things like “we just can’t put our finger on it” so they don’t have to explain why they don’t like me. They hold me at arms length for 4 years and now act confused that I only attend big family events and I don’t consider them family. I have received a lot of social punishment for having a traumatic childhood and setting my own boundaries and it looks like that happened to this poor soul. Sleep well angel 🖤
I took similar steps, and I have to say the only way I worked through it was with therapy. I wouldn't have been able to emotionally resolve the issue without it.
@@katiacleroux7376 therapy is SO NECESSARY! I had major trust issues with medical professionals so I did everything on my own until I reached a point where I couldn’t progress any further without professional help. That was a good thing though, because my counsellor said he didn’t have to deal with any denial or avoidance because I’d worked through that on my own, so I took into practice every single thing he said and after 6 weeks we both agreed I had worked through what I needed for now. I’m now on a waiting list for a psychiatrist as even after this work I don’t have complete control over my triggers, they were holding a graduation event near my home which was obviously full of parents. I saw a woman with my mums haircut and I had to find a quiet corner to breathe through my panic and then I went home. I knew it wasn’t my mum, apart from the haircut it looked nothing like her, but the damage had been done. I’m good a lot of the time now but I can’t control some parts of my CPTSD without further medication. I know meds are polarising, but I couldn’t live at all without mine. If I forget for one day the way I remember is because I start to get nervous over normal things and my heart races for no reason as my “panic button” is almost always engaged without them. Thank you for replying, it’s nice to talk about these things xxx
@@GymBunnyQuinn medication when paired with treatment is an amazing aid! I was able to work through the PTSD with my therapist over the last 2 years and drastically lowered my anxiety and depression. It's been life changing and much healthier for my whole family. I'm happy you're looking out for yourself ❤️
@@katiacleroux7376 you too! 😃
Hi I’m in no place to judge how you felt and what you’re still battling everyday. I hope that one day you will choose to heal from all these and open up more because sometimes you have to off load baggages so you it will be easier and lighter to carry. Breakfree from all these anxiety 🫶🏻
Okay I'm like 10 minutes in where you say that they moved 1.5 hours away from his family and I just gotta say, as a person from Texas....that's nothing. You can literally drive for 13+ hours in one direction and never leave texas, I think it's so weird that a family from Texas would be miffed about them moving 1.5 hours away it just makes no sense for me!!! and I know in other parts of the world that's like a really long drive or whatever but in Texas it's honestly peanuts. What a bonkers thing for the family to get mad about
So true, I was thinking the same thing!
Its Longview. Deep East Texas. Old deep East Texas money. (For example, the in laws
called on a friend who was a TX Congressman to amp up the effort to investigate her past). She wasn’t from the “right” family or church or club or county or state or school ….. likely was an uphill battle for her to be accepted even if she hadn’t had a past she wanted to keep private.
I'm curious how blake and his family reacted to the information on her past and true identity. I hope it was everything they were itching for since it caused lori so much pain. Unless she was being disrespectful, rude, abusive, malicious, etc., I don't understand why they were so obsessed with finding out about her past ESPECIALLY if Blake did not care himself. Is the family so opposed to introverts or at least respecting one's boundaries on not wanting to talk about their past? They better spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness for driving Lori to her end.
Hi Bella! I'd like to Recommend the Burari Family deaths for a future episode. This happened in New Delhi, India recently in 2018 where 11 members of the same family committed mass suicide. I would love for you to cover this case and tell us your opinions.
whattt??? omg no way, hopefully she covers this case sounds interesting
Mr. Ballen covered that case, I believe
@@Delifine don't know who that is, will look them up, Thanks!
@@Caramelquillsx He is a great storyteller. I found the name for his video: House of Secrets: The Burari deaths. Beyond the Netflix documentary. It’s from a year ago.
Such an interesting case!
They tried extra hard to prove their suspicions we're right and they could say "AHA! I KNEW IT!" so they weren't just a bunch of nosey assholes who made someone off themselves. In other news, it's definitely some childhood trauma that her Mom had to of known about during/later the ab*se, would paint her mighty ugly if she knew her child was being SAd and didn't do a damn thing about it. That's why she wouldn't talk to no one about it. She tried to be strong, she did well, trying to move on and there's just judgemental, selfish people absolutely everywhere.
How can you be a mystery shopper if you don't go outside of the house? Was it a mystery shopper on the internet?
Good point 🧐
That’s exactly what I was wondering too 🤔
Unless she hired other people to do the mystery shopping 🤔
She was probably a manager who actually sets up the shops and assigns people to do the actual shops. I did it for several years from home.
Maybe for small businesses online, like a small merch shop, an Etsy shop, etc?
Let me just say that my husband’s family wasn’t crazy about me. I never knew why because I tried so hard to be a part of their family, but when they refused to accept me, my husband told them to F off. He chose me over them. I would choose him over my family if I had to. Blake is a child who got married before he was emotionally ready. If your mom is being a bitch to your wife, you tell mom to get it together! You don’t end your marriage and move back in with mommy and daddy. This whole story would have been different if he had just behaved like a man instead of a kid!
You saying that like you have any idea what their marriage was like or how their day to day life was
Amen! Well said!❤️
@@alienz9471 I don’t care what their day to day life was! He left her and went back to his mommy. He is a child and you’ll never change my mind!
I feel so sad for Lori! I hope the rest of the ruff family felt a little dumb trying to find this huge illegal activity that they thought she had done just to find out she was running away from past trauma. Now there is a daughter who has lost her mother :(
I think her dad abused her and got her pregnant and she ran away because she needed to abort or give away the baby… her mom was either useless or mad at her daughter for it happening. Also I think she picked a new identity of someone whose bday was a day off of hers and got lucky that they were born / died in different states. Likely wasn’t a mastermind. She was probably religious and suffered immense guilt about it all.
I thought this or so that a baby conceived with her father wouldn't later be able to trace her 🤔
Based on knowing absolutely ZERO facts😑
@@lindahawkins9327 broooooo chill do u know the family or something lmao how do u kmow
@@lindahawkins9327 “I think…” so if you are going to say I am wrong, even though I am clearly just sharing what I THINK may have happened-as a plausible scenario, merely speculation-in the comment section (as Bella said to go ahead and do) is “wrong”, you must know the true story. Otherwise you would just say, “I disagree.” Come on, comment etiquette.
@@josephinehendrick1533 totally 💯
The fact that she was able to so completely hide her past identity makes me wonder if she might have been in witness protection? It could explain how it was done so skillfully.
she sounds like she was highly traumatized and wanted to start a new life. she started the new life and then just got traumatized again. so sad.
I hope Blake's family feels guilty for the rest of their lives for driving Lori to kill herself. Had they treated her with an ounce of decency she might still be alive today.
Doubtful considering after she died they still pushed their noses into every nook & cranny they could fishing for information to criminalize her
people like that don’t have empathy
I think Lori was just running from a troubled and abusive childhood (either from her father, mother, or step-father or a combination of all three). Or perhaps she was running from someone else but I truly think it was her family life. As for the situation with Becky, I think she heard the story about the house fire, learned that she was born in another state, and decided to take a chance to reinvent herself. It's not like she literally lived as Becky.
Some people just want entirely new lives, they want to completely be different people due to trauma.
I feel a type of way towards the Ruff family, it's like they never gave her a chance and went from 0 to 100 so quick. I get it, it's suspicious as hell not to have/be in contact with any family or not have any friends and refused to talk about their past. That's a RED FLAG for me but at the same time I would just store it in my head, keep my eyes open, and listen for any info. I wouldn't completely cut someone off because of that especially if they haven't done anything.
I'm curious as to know did anyone manage to contact her sister??? I know her father died and her mother refused to talk.
But poor Lori, I hope her daughter wasn't poisoned by her father's family. I hope she understands that Lori couldn't cope with loss in a normal manner and it wasn't her fault take she ended her life.
This story is so terribly heartbreaking. I pray Kimberly is resting in much Peace. Blake’s family should be ashamed of their actions.
Ah Linda Hawkins hasn't attacked this thread, yet 🙄
@@ericag5346 hhahah
No but it actually kind of pisses me off these people were SO nosy that they had to get every last bit of info on her life after she was dead and had no consent to that… like what’s the point? Why are they sharing this with the public too?? Bunch of absolute crazies.
I'm only 15 mins in and I resonate with Lori so much!!
Update: The Ruff family seems extremely intrusive. Even AFTER Lori has passed, they still won't leave her alone!
My heart hurts for her! I’m just holding back tears listening to her letter to him. Please ladies. Please know this is NEVER the answer!!! So sad!!!
Seems like she was abused when she was young, tried so hard to leave that life behind and worked so hard for a little family of her own. I hope her daughter’s life is filled with love and kind memories of her mommy. So sad.
I seriously feel sorry for this poor woman! She was obviously abused, and truly needed mental help and support. However, instead, she got judgmental in-laws who ruined what little happiness she had. May she rest in peace!!!!
To anyone who’s had their heart broke.. That’s definitely not “rambling”.. She was pouring her heart out
I love your videos. I LITERALLY feel like I’m sitting on your bedroom floor listening to your stories. Sometimes you don’t need perfect lighting, a studio, or all of that other business to make the perfect video!!
First- they described her suicide letter as ramblings of a disturbed person?! Sounded extremely coherent and clear that she felt misunderstood.
Second- this girl was abused as a child IMO- she wanted an easy bake and take her kid to tea- she was working through some things from her childhood. She didn’t want her inheritance- but she’s definitely hiding something deep and dark from all the steps she took to disappear. Her mom knew something was wrong and didn’t act, that’s why she left even after her mom left her dad.
Third- her in-laws are vicious and deranged-- they are so entitled that the fact the lori wasn’t extremely open for them, made them feel defensive- because “who wouldn’t want to be accepted by such a prominent family.
Blake- did her so wrong. Was such a mommas boys and just submissive that the fact his brother went to the counseling sessions to talk was LITERALLY DERANGED.
This poor woman was hiding something sad and dark, but like any human, she didn’t want her past to be her future if it was so traumatic.
I blame the in-laws. Lori just wanted her family to rebuild the life she felt was stripped from her as a child, and instead of compassion, they were distrustful And ultimately left her to feel like suicide was the only option.
And honestly I don’t blame her- this family had money- they WOULD take her daughter away from her and she would lose all that was important to her.
I hope they never find happiness- especially since they tried to discredit her after death- found nothing- and haven’t owned to their part in the matter. That little baby won’t have the love that they deserve from a mother because her fathers family wanted to be so nasty.
I feel so bad that she lost it after her husband left-- but honestly, with Blake leaving like he did, I don’t hold anything against her.
Wow this reminds me of Netflix’s Pieces of Her or The Sinner.. incredibly sad and mysterious story. She may have been put into witness protection over something and had somebody helping her? The fact the mother didn’t look for her and she rejected her inheritance is really telling of the potential extremity of the situation(s)..
Bella! You make me smile. Thank you for lending your light to help humanity transmute pain into healing. 🙏
Wonderful, Bella! I had heard about this case when it was in the news about the different IDs and the suicide. Then in passing since, but never in such detail or /and really explaining the tragic situation. Thank you so much. You are remarkable ❣️🥰✌🏻
Man I’ve never been more invested in a story, i feel like you just get better and better at story telling, thank you Bella!!
Reppin Milwaukee I see let’s goooo👌🏼
Always my comfort zone 💞🤍Thank you for your videos!
Love ya Bella, you’re a gem of a person whose personality just brings joy and smiles to everyone!
I understand both Lori & the in-laws side. It's a give and take to make things work. The in-laws didn't know her past. She didn't open up to them because whatever happened in her past she couldn't trust anyone. That unnecessary distance caused dysfunction and destruction. Hope she is resting in peace. Hopefully, this teaches the in-laws to treat ppl better. Someone's behavior to u is not necessarily for u. Thanx always, Bella.
I really enjoyed this case! It’s one I’ve never heard of and it’s truly sad that she never felt loved by her family or her in laws.
When you read the note she wrote Blake, I nearly cried. I can't imagine how she must have felt, losing the two things that mattered to her. I don't think she ran because of anything she did; I think she was running from something else. I hope she's at peace now.
Very detailed case! Love how in-depth you went, really appreciate it.
Girl…I love your natural dramatic effects!!!! You are too funny! So excited to hear what story you have for us today!!!
First of all blake and his whole family sounds like a bunch of lunatics, i know that twins are close well most not all but you bring your twin to your therapist and he talks for you, also Blake's mother sounds irritating like stop interfering let them be men and have thier lives it's one thing to be there for your kids when they are hurting or made mistakes in life but geez they sound like weirdos. I pray that little girl is safe.
This very much reminds me of a documentary I watched here on CZcams called ‘Looking for Mike’. It follows a guy who was work friends with a guy called Mike. Mike was slightly older than him but they were friends. Then one day this guy gets a call from a police officer asking how he knows Mike? He says what I’ve just said, then the officer says ‘we got your name from the documents you signed for Mike, you’re the only contact we can find for him, he’s dead do you know his family?’ After his death no one knew his family, he’d briefly mentioned a town he used to live in but the guy new nothing and they discovered he wasn’t actually who he said he was. The documentary is about 10 years after his death and the friend and a PI are searching for who ‘Mike’ really was. It’s a fascinating and very sad watch.
I love how I found your channel I was looking up make up tutorials, getting all sources I could lol to do makeup for work. Then I saw you post the true crime I thought it’s amazing 🇦🇺
The snippet of the letter she left for Blake made me cry, how unbelievably sad
Did anyone talk to her sister? I would think she would have some insight into Lori's reasons for disappearing.
Missed you Bella glad you're back!!! 🥰
I just absolutely love your personality and your whole aurora and vibe, you're so nice, sweet. Funny quirky honest and compassionate and real ... You take me from a horrible mood to a good mood with your whole vibe , when your serious im glued to you and in the sad moods and when your just random and happy im just randomly smiling and over all in happy form . I just love the work you do and the person you are and the way you speak for the victims lots of love FROM IRELAND 🇮🇪 your class ❤
Love your mystery videos Bella! Thanks for your hard work and research 💕💕 xx
my great grandmas name was helen cassidy and we're allll from around that area in PA. i was named after her, she was also adopted and never knew her fam or said anything about it. i doubt there's a relation but it's still so odd to think about 🙃
I had a very traumatic childhood, and I moved out early at 17. When I did I wanted nothing more than to change my name although it was over 200 dollars where I live so I never was able to.
I can easily see someone just wanting to start over and cut ties with their past.
It's a sad reminder and weird nostalgic feeling every time you see your own last name/given name, when you know the people that gave it to you hurt you so badly.
It's just a clean slate.
So sorry for your past, I hope you are healing and safe. You are a survivor and should be proud of yourself for simply being here as it is not an easy journey. I wish you happiness, success and good health ♥️
I just found you and I've been watching you all weekend lol the way you retell these sad gruesome stories is special and so captivating ♥️
Bella! These past few stories you've covered have been so intriguing!! Not that any of the other cases you've covered are any less good but I've been loving the theme lately! You are amazing at what you do & I always look forward to your videos! Much love