Cutting ‘friends ‘ off is a skill I wished I had learned in my teens. I have been chained to toxic ‘friends ‘ for decades and it prevents healthy friends entering your life. I purged about 8 unhealthy friends and family 4 years ago and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. My life is peaceful and healthy friends are coming into my life now.
I did this exactly. I sent short one-word responses to text messages and took longer to respond. Then got called out for being "distant" and them needing to discuss what was wrong. I simply said I can't keep up with their expectations in the friendship and they gave me space but were very offended. Now, they're in town and want to hang out. I just didn't reply.
With someone incredibly manipulative, it does need to be done in stages. Some of these manipulators have big chips on their shoulders and don’t take it too well that someone couldn’t possibly want to be their friend and can get vindictive or obsessive...
I did this exact thing! It works! Slowly wean them off. I tried the block and delete. They found a way to weasel back in through other friends and blame me! Lol! Slowly, slowly is the best way to go!
Yes - they never take accountability for their actions just blame you! I stayed firm with one particular ‘friend’ blocked her 3 years ago and haven’t seen or heard from her since. Peace is wonderful.
Yeah. I tried block and delete too and didn't work. Eventually just had to tell her straight up I wasn't interested in being friends. Slowly weaning off was ineffectual cos she kept guilting me into doing things for (and with) her 😥
@@tlhogid663 You just have to stop contacting them. If they contact you, tell them you are busy. If they are busy and did not contact you for a long time, they will eventually lose your number. I remember that I never even attempt to block and I never deleted my number. That friend just got so busy and at the same time complains I don't make time for him. I tell him if you are busy, it is your 1st priority. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. I can tell he cannot handle solitude life and only pretends to be busy. So he loses his memories and thinks I blocked him. He is more like he never bother to check his call history and never check his past history on email. Eventually, he is going to realize he is chasing you and not proud of it and will stop contacting you. That is a weakness an entitled person have. They refuse to learn how to take care of themselves.
I agree stages is best. You just start setting your own boundaries /rules regarding them, no need to announce it to them. I’ve started this, onto boundary 2. I think she cycles through people; so if one is getting tired of her manipulating/using she’ll back off and let things mellow going to the next person. But she’ll be back and next time when it starts I’ll just reinforce both of my boundaries I’ve specifically set towards her. I’ll also do as you suggested, delay responses and be shorter in replies. The recent short reply triggered her and she basically admitted her behavior by claiming she wasn’t doing the behavior… unreal. Last convo was short (she called) I could tell her attitude was a bit curt. I suspect I’ll have a reprieve. Rather than get irritated or angry, I’m just viewing it all is a lesson and practice for me. The better you get at setting boundaries the better you are at limiting these type of people from your life. ❤
I ADORE you! I came to your channel due to a great Amazon dress review…you had me at the go! I really enjoy your vibe, your aesthetic, your beauty and your smart advice. I look forward to seeing both your previous videos and your future videos! Much love from Southern California!!
Hi Marie I usually like your advice.Communication and telling your friend you no longer wish to be their friend.The reason why? This is ghosting, emotional abuse and playing games.
The problem I’ve had with telling a friend I didn’t want the friendship was that she turned it into a major beef. She turned me into her enemy and some years later she fought me really bad when I least expected because to me I though I was dealing with a neutral person I was once friends with in the past but to her I was an enemy for life. I wish I had ended the friendship without telling her it was over. I wish I manipulated the situation for the friendship to fade away and appear like it died naturally.
How do you deal with one sided friendships? I have a friend who I have known for a few years and this friendship has always seemed one sided. They return texts late like two weeks to a month, they only want to actually talk when it seems as if no one else for them is around, if I have a problem they aren't around, but if I start to pull away or be busy they insist on what I am doing just so I can hang out with them even though I know its a last minute thing. I know they got a new group of friends and especially one of them I introduced them to a while ago but I am starting to resent this friend more and more each day because of the damage done that I haven't explained here but its stressing me out.
I know this hurts, because you feel like you have been put on the back burner...and you have! I would treat this person the way they treat you. Only get together with them when you have nothing better to do. Obviously he/she doesn't want to introduce you into their new group of friends. Could she be jealous of you? Just a thought.
@@MannersByMarie I don't think it jealously but its really more so that I can't give them an extroverted persona. I personally am a chill person majority of the time so they often want to be around others who are such but the catch is their friends are almost exactly like me very calm and chill. I feel that the only reason why I am put into the back bunner is because they are around others who they are attracted to since my friend has dated on of their close friend for a while before being friends. So there's that. I am going to treat them they way they are treating me because it isn't fair to me but I don't want my resentment to go further and it becomes a very bad fallout.
I need help with my certain friendship, I feel like every time I tell my friend no she gets super mad at me. She knows most of my secrets and will blackmail me if I try to end the friendship, because she did that to one of our friends who slowly separated herself from our friend group. I just don’t want to make my friend super mad at me and I’m not sure what to do.
hi marie. i am in a situation. i have a major problem. because this person lives literally across the street and 2 houses down. bascially slightly less then a football field away from me. probably like 200-240 feet give or take. i have to be honest. my biggest mistake was NOT trusting my instinct. not listening to my gut. what i mean by that is first of all they moved in around 4 years ago and had no idea anyone even new moved in there or moved out. . then 2 to 2.5 years ago i met him during a poweroutage th atlasted 30 mintues while he was talking to a enighbor i knew who was directly across the street. so as you see, this person never even made an effort to come even look for me in the first place. anyway. a year or so wen tby and i saw him, in his driveway and said , you lost weight didn't you. mast 1/5 years . he said he lost 200 lb give or take. so i was like wow. adn then he asked if i wanted to walk. it was winter so running was too difficult with ice so i ddi. i did it either 1 or 2 times a little over a year ago in the witner. and then somewho, jsut something about him or they way he was talking i think i felt like i could get trapped into always having to walk with him, if i stopped by more. so i literally avoided that side of the street any time i saw him out for a few months. and i literally had a bad feeling in the gut. why oh wy oh why did i EVER forget that happened that one time. i realize now my body was screaming at me to never go there again. but idito me. forgetting about ti fo ramoment. i didn. and this time he seemed ok. so then i really forgot. he had not had my nubmer. just went. one time or so in the spring. but i would also sometimes stop and talk poitics with him as we shared the same kind. but then it was pretty much in very late june early july i believe of 2021, where i decided i would ask him. i did tell him i was a runner and i could walk once in awhie. maye a copule times amonth on day si am tired to run, it would be cool to have soemone who walks fast with me who wnats to talk. that would be kind of cool. so we did that, he did indeed walk veryfast. and then the next time he srpings a child on me that doesn't like to walk fast when i got over there. it was terrible for me. not the kids fault either. his fault for making her go. but he also was lovebombing by beins wayy ton nice way too fast ofering me to come in and have food he cooked within 1-2 times of barely knowing me at all. and having me sit on the porch. he lured me in. then he turned it into a couple days a week to every day and then would start texinte me every single dam day just before i left work, and even trying to hrry me home from work. also, he would text during days i explicity told him i was busy like a funerla or other such things. and he would text me 5 times asking if i am done, when will i be don.e call me ewhen i liave, am i done yet. wanna wali, hae are you almost done. like wtf? he even sent me a creepy text message once saying he saw me running at the exact time i ran by our homes almost. i told him i would walk withim a later time becasue I wanted to do my thing first, but didn't tell him what i was doing. still very wierd. he also had me ride a bike which the brakes didn't work at all. at night and depsite consnatly telling him that he didn't care. he also left me high and dry on something i spent 110 plus dollars on 5 weeks in advance and was only going if i had someone to go. he bailed last mintu leaving it so i had to find someonet that could not affor d it. an dby making up exuses tha were lies. becasue his time lines didn't add up, story kept chaning. he even had me , asked me to take pictures of it to show his wife out of town ove r800 miles away that weekened so he could make her think he was with me. after all that. and then his texts to walsk got even more persistent. however i initially say nov 5th or so started with one word responses, and watiting a few hours to respond. a week alter i didn't resond fo ra copule days. then he trired gaslighting by saying "are we still on for xyz time tonight" when i never talked to him abou tit. so i refused to answer. waitted 3 days. then finally said he was going to come over. so i had to tell him iwon't be avial.e he ektp pestering me. finally i said "i am not walking tonight" so we went the next day. i was crytal clear that for the next 10 days i hav eto get ready for my family and will also only be spending time with them and ONLY tem. now he did pretty much leave me alotne pretty much. but the day he thought was the day my family left (i made him think they would be there longer so i could enjoy mor etime tomyself.the very very very monet he got home from chruch the day he saw they left. calls me, lierally that second. and so i didn't answer. and then ever since than nov 18th or so of 2021 i have never ersponded to anything. i decdided it was useless. i mean i guess i should have maybe done it slower. or said somethign. but i decided it was just time to cut them off. no point anymore. i was done. i was told it uslaly teka 2 week on average for peopel to get it. wlel, he ketp at it, but slowly slowed down over 8 weeks. and that last time was like 5 days. then after that he saw me. againg he lives right across from me and can always see me if i am in the front. levaes at the same time, puts his car in front of min on the stret blocking half the street, so i go around him. then he followed me for 2 miles, ad his driving habit was a Clear indication he was. i lost him, the he sent and unset a message and hadn't heard for 10 days. i thought he was finally done. then 3 days ago i get home from a walk, he happeend to be cmioing back hom from his thing at thatmoment. and saw me. as i was apporching my door i heard him voice from 200feet away say my name. i didn't even look at him. not one iota. ran in and slammed the door. truned off all the lights. he called then texted me asking me what my problem is. and his message was saying he has been nothing but nice to me and i am direspecting him and he won't tolerate this behario and that i owe him an explinatin. he is playing dumb like he has no clue what he did wrong. i don't care. i owe nothign. again. the biggest problem is. becasue of how close he is and hisview of my house. i hoenstly know he is staling me ands makig me uncomfrotable and can't seem to shake him. and every time i think he finally is done. he is right there agai. so i finally blocked him yesterday on the phone and cmoputer and everything but i fear if he sees me he will try to block me in. or follow me again. this person certainly feels obsessed iwth me. not sure what to do now
One of my friends keeps inviting himself to my house… why I’m watching this video. I don’t even share where I live. Is there an ulterior motive? If someone want to spend time together there are other places to go. Any advice?
Cutting ‘friends ‘ off is a skill I wished I had learned in my teens. I have been chained to toxic ‘friends ‘ for decades and it prevents healthy friends entering your life. I purged about 8 unhealthy friends and family 4 years ago and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. My life is peaceful and healthy friends are coming into my life now.
Busy “ORGANIZING YOUR SOCK DRAWER” 😂😂😂😂😂
Right !! 😂😂😂
I did this exactly. I sent short one-word responses to text messages and took longer to respond. Then got called out for being "distant" and them needing to discuss what was wrong. I simply said I can't keep up with their expectations in the friendship and they gave me space but were very offended. Now, they're in town and want to hang out. I just didn't reply.
With someone incredibly manipulative, it does need to be done in stages. Some of these manipulators have big chips on their shoulders and don’t take it too well that someone couldn’t possibly want to be their friend and can get vindictive or obsessive...
💯🎯
I did this exact thing! It works! Slowly wean them off. I tried the block and delete. They found a way to weasel back in through other friends and blame me! Lol! Slowly, slowly is the best way to go!
Yes. Totally agree.
Yes - they never take accountability for their actions just blame you! I stayed firm with one particular ‘friend’ blocked her 3 years ago and haven’t seen or heard from her since. Peace is wonderful.
Yeah. I tried block and delete too and didn't work. Eventually just had to tell her straight up I wasn't interested in being friends. Slowly weaning off was ineffectual cos she kept guilting me into doing things for (and with) her 😥
@@tlhogid663 You just have to stop contacting them. If they contact you, tell them you are busy. If they are busy and did not contact you for a long time, they will eventually lose your number. I remember that I never even attempt to block and I never deleted my number. That friend just got so busy and at the same time complains I don't make time for him. I tell him if you are busy, it is your 1st priority. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. I can tell he cannot handle solitude life and only pretends to be busy. So he loses his memories and thinks I blocked him. He is more like he never bother to check his call history and never check his past history on email. Eventually, he is going to realize he is chasing you and not proud of it and will stop contacting you. That is a weakness an entitled person have. They refuse to learn how to take care of themselves.
I think just letting them know where you guys stand is more effective and saves time than the slow one
Just a slow ghosting. Don't waste your energy on a confrontation or drama....just fade to grey.
I agree stages is best. You just start setting your own boundaries /rules regarding them, no need to announce it to them. I’ve started this, onto boundary 2.
I think she cycles through people; so if one is getting tired of her manipulating/using she’ll back off and let things mellow going to the next person. But she’ll be back and next time when it starts I’ll just reinforce both of my boundaries I’ve specifically set towards her. I’ll also do as you suggested, delay responses and be shorter in replies.
The recent short reply triggered her and she basically admitted her behavior by claiming she wasn’t doing the behavior… unreal. Last convo was short (she called) I could tell her attitude was a bit curt. I suspect I’ll have a reprieve. Rather than get irritated or angry, I’m just viewing it all is a lesson and practice for me.
The better you get at setting boundaries the better you are at limiting these type of people from your life. ❤
I ADORE you! I came to your channel due to a great Amazon dress review…you had me at the go! I really enjoy your vibe, your aesthetic, your beauty and your smart advice. I look forward to seeing both your previous videos and your future videos! Much love from Southern California!!
Hi Marie I usually like your advice.Communication and telling your friend you no longer wish to be their friend.The reason why? This is ghosting, emotional abuse and playing games.
The problem I’ve had with telling a friend I didn’t want the friendship was that she turned it into a major beef. She turned me into her enemy and some years later she fought me really bad when I least expected because to me I though I was dealing with a neutral person I was once friends with in the past but to her I was an enemy for life.
I wish I had ended the friendship without telling her it was over. I wish I manipulated the situation for the friendship to fade away and appear like it died naturally.
Great advice. This is the best way.
I love your cadence and how you speak ❤❤
I just stumbled on your page and im so happy I did ! hope youre doing well and thank you for your uploads and great advice and guidance! :)
Thank you for all the profesional advice and Happy New Year 2021
I love your videos and your voice is so calming calming and shooting. Thank you for the good advice on how to deal with difficult situations.
'your voice is calming and shooting?' I know you mean 'soothing'... yes her voice is sweet & gentle/calm.
This video was made for me oh my goodness.
Thank you I’m done ✅
I agree but if there is a problem between friends it should be discussed before breaking up
How do you deal with one sided friendships? I have a friend who I have known for a few years and this friendship has always seemed one sided. They return texts late like two weeks to a month, they only want to actually talk when it seems as if no one else for them is around, if I have a problem they aren't around, but if I start to pull away or be busy they insist on what I am doing just so I can hang out with them even though I know its a last minute thing. I know they got a new group of friends and especially one of them I introduced them to a while ago but I am starting to resent this friend more and more each day because of the damage done that I haven't explained here but its stressing me out.
I know this hurts, because you feel like you have been put on the back burner...and you have! I would treat this person the way they treat you. Only get together with them when you have nothing better to do. Obviously he/she doesn't want to introduce you into their new group of friends. Could she be jealous of you? Just a thought.
@@MannersByMarie I don't think it jealously but its really more so that I can't give them an extroverted persona. I personally am a chill person majority of the time so they often want to be around others who are such but the catch is their friends are almost exactly like me very calm and chill. I feel that the only reason why I am put into the back bunner is because they are around others who they are attracted to since my friend has dated on of their close friend for a while before being friends. So there's that. I am going to treat them they way they are treating me because it isn't fair to me but I don't want my resentment to go further and it becomes a very bad fallout.
I need help with my certain friendship, I feel like every time I tell my friend no she gets super mad at me. She knows most of my secrets and will blackmail me if I try to end the friendship, because she did that to one of our friends who slowly separated herself from our friend group. I just don’t want to make my friend super mad at me and I’m not sure what to do.
You can't be responsible for how they react. If they're going to throw a temper tantrum then they need to mature.
I’m currently doing this lol
hi marie. i am in a situation. i have a major problem. because this person lives literally across the street and 2 houses down. bascially slightly less then a football field away from me. probably like 200-240 feet give or take.
i have to be honest. my biggest mistake was NOT trusting my instinct. not listening to my gut. what i mean by that is first of all they moved in around 4 years ago and had no idea anyone even new moved in there or moved out. . then 2 to 2.5 years ago i met him during a poweroutage th atlasted 30 mintues while he was talking to a enighbor i knew who was directly across the street. so as you see, this person never even made an effort to come even look for me in the first place.
anyway. a year or so wen tby and i saw him, in his driveway and said , you lost weight didn't you. mast 1/5 years . he said he lost 200 lb give or take. so i was like wow. adn then he asked if i wanted to walk. it was winter so running was too difficult with ice so i ddi. i did it either 1 or 2 times a little over a year ago in the witner. and then somewho, jsut something about him or they way he was talking i think i felt like i could get trapped into always having to walk with him, if i stopped by more. so i literally avoided that side of the street any time i saw him out for a few months.
and i literally had a bad feeling in the gut.
why oh wy oh why did i EVER forget that happened that one time. i realize now my body was screaming at me to never go there again.
but idito me. forgetting about ti fo ramoment. i didn. and this time he seemed ok.
so then i really forgot. he had not had my nubmer. just went.
one time or so in the spring. but i would also sometimes stop and talk poitics with him as we shared the same kind.
but then it was pretty much in very late june early july i believe of 2021, where i decided i would ask him. i did tell him i was a runner and i could walk once in awhie. maye a copule times amonth on day si am tired to run, it would be cool to have soemone who walks fast with me who wnats to talk. that would be kind of cool.
so we did that, he did indeed walk veryfast. and then the next time he srpings a child on me that doesn't like to walk fast when i got over there. it was terrible for me. not the kids fault either. his fault for making her go.
but he also was lovebombing by beins wayy ton nice way too fast ofering me to come in and have food he cooked within 1-2 times of barely knowing me at all.
and having me sit on the porch. he lured me in.
then he turned it into a couple days a week to every day and then would start texinte me every single dam day just before i left work, and even trying to hrry me home from work.
also, he would text during days i explicity told him i was busy like a funerla or other such things. and he would text me 5 times asking if i am done, when will i be don.e call me ewhen i liave, am i done yet. wanna wali, hae are you almost done. like wtf?
he even sent me a creepy text message once saying he saw me running at the exact time i ran by our homes almost. i told him i would walk withim a later time becasue I wanted to do my thing first, but didn't tell him what i was doing. still very wierd.
he also had me ride a bike which the brakes didn't work at all. at night and depsite consnatly telling him that he didn't care.
he also left me high and dry on something i spent 110 plus dollars on 5 weeks in advance and was only going if i had someone to go. he bailed last mintu leaving it so i had to find someonet that could not affor d it. an dby making up exuses tha were lies. becasue his time lines didn't add up, story kept chaning.
he even had me , asked me to take pictures of it to show his wife out of town ove r800 miles away that weekened so he could make her think he was with me. after all that.
and then his texts to walsk got even more persistent. however i initially say nov 5th or so started with one word responses, and watiting a few hours to respond. a week alter i didn't resond fo ra copule days.
then he trired gaslighting by saying "are we still on for xyz time tonight" when i never talked to him abou tit. so i refused to answer.
waitted 3 days. then finally said he was going to come over. so i had to tell him iwon't be avial.e he ektp pestering me. finally i said "i am not walking tonight"
so we went the next day. i was crytal clear that for the next 10 days i hav eto get ready for my family and will also only be spending time with them and ONLY tem. now he did pretty much leave me alotne pretty much.
but the day he thought was the day my family left (i made him think they would be there longer so i could enjoy mor etime tomyself.the very very very monet he got home from chruch the day he saw they left. calls me, lierally that second. and so i didn't answer. and then ever since than nov 18th or so of 2021 i have never ersponded to anything.
i decdided it was useless. i mean i guess i should have maybe done it slower. or said somethign. but i decided it was just time to cut them off. no point anymore. i was done.
i was told it uslaly teka 2 week on average for peopel to get it.
wlel, he ketp at it, but slowly slowed down over 8 weeks. and that last time was like 5 days. then after that he saw me. againg he lives right across from me and can always see me if i am in the front. levaes at the same time, puts his car in front of min on the stret blocking half the street, so i go around him. then he followed me for 2 miles, ad his driving habit was a Clear indication he was. i lost him, the he sent and unset a message and hadn't heard for 10 days.
i thought he was finally done.
then 3 days ago i get home from a walk, he happeend to be cmioing back hom from his thing at thatmoment. and saw me. as i was apporching my door i heard him voice from 200feet away say my name. i didn't even look at him. not one iota.
ran in and slammed the door. truned off all the lights.
he called then texted me asking me what my problem is. and his message was saying he has been nothing but nice to me and i am direspecting him and he won't tolerate this behario and that i owe him an explinatin. he is playing dumb like he has no clue what he did wrong.
i don't care. i owe nothign.
again. the biggest problem is. becasue of how close he is and hisview of my house. i hoenstly know he is staling me ands makig me uncomfrotable and can't seem to shake him. and every time i think he finally is done. he is right there agai. so i finally blocked him yesterday on the phone and cmoputer and everything but i fear if he sees me he will try to block me in. or follow me again.
this person certainly feels obsessed iwth me.
not sure what to do now
One of my friends keeps inviting himself to my house… why I’m watching this video. I don’t even share where I live. Is there an ulterior motive? If someone want to spend time together there are other places to go. Any advice?
Nice hair)))))