26 Minutes to Fuel Your Ted Cruz Fury | The Daily Show

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  • čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
  • Watch Ted Cruz's moronic rise from machiavellian teenager, to nightmare college roommate, to soup obsessive, to the senator we know and don't love today. #DailyShow #comedy
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  • Komedie

Komentáře • 343

  • @smiller2044
    @smiller2044 Před 10 měsíci +258

    Ted Cruz cruised to Cancun and _still_ was voted back in. No longer feel bad for Republicans in Texas.

    • @cmdraftbrn
      @cmdraftbrn Před 10 měsíci +38

      and blamed his kids for it. while texass froze over

    • @Jaye37481
      @Jaye37481 Před 10 měsíci

      Why would you ever feel bad for Republicans in Texas? It's the intelligent and in Texas you should feel bad for.

    • @janicetribbiani7535
      @janicetribbiani7535 Před 10 měsíci

      They have very short memories and only hate for democrats.

    • @michaelSlick50
      @michaelSlick50 Před 10 měsíci +19

      Republicans seal their own fate.

    • @XanderRadev
      @XanderRadev Před 10 měsíci +18

      I can't imagine why you would have felt bad for them to begin with.

  • @Fluffkitscripts
    @Fluffkitscripts Před 10 měsíci +202

    I used to say he looked like an alcoholic werewolf, but frankly alcoholics and werewolves deserve more dignity than being compared to Ted Cruz.

    • @MajorHenryL.
      @MajorHenryL. Před 10 měsíci +1

      Alcoholics and werewolves? You know Nancy Pelosi too?😅

    • @lolipedofin
      @lolipedofin Před 10 měsíci +3

      I once saw a poker video where I thought there were 2 Phil Hellmuth on the table. Took me half a minute to realize the other Phil Hellmuth is Ted Cruz.
      I never felt that bad for Phil Hellmuth before, for me to mistake Ted Cruz for him. And I hate Phil Hellmuth.

    • @bd3470
      @bd3470 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Yes, yes we do

    • @Fluffkitscripts
      @Fluffkitscripts Před 10 měsíci

      @@MajorHenryL. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the broke crime president’s guys are creatively bankrupt and stealing insults.

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Před 10 měsíci +3

      i'm sure the werewolf community would agree with you X3

  • @pn312
    @pn312 Před 10 měsíci +82

    I don’t blame Cruz for going to Cancun… I blame him for coming BACK! 😢

    • @ronaldharding3927
      @ronaldharding3927 Před 10 měsíci

      Yeah, man, he can go back to Cuba. No, they have enough @$$holes already.

    • @teresastillabower8361
      @teresastillabower8361 Před 7 měsíci

      😆😅🤣😂😆😅🤣😂VOTE BLUE.
      💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵

  • @ryanu8082
    @ryanu8082 Před 10 měsíci +172

    Teddy never fails to deliver a spectacular showing of his ineptitude.

    • @macngeeseyt6029
      @macngeeseyt6029 Před 10 měsíci +2

      same with sleepy joe.

    • @ryanu8082
      @ryanu8082 Před 10 měsíci +12

      @@macngeeseyt6029 nothing like the smell of byllshit propaganda in the afternoon. It goes so well with my coffee.

    • @macngeeseyt6029
      @macngeeseyt6029 Před 10 měsíci +4

      @@ryanu8082 This video isn't propaganda?

    • @137lll
      @137lll Před 10 měsíci +5

      Yet he's still an elected official; what is wrong with you people in the US

    • @virajl5754
      @virajl5754 Před 10 měsíci

      Okay, guys, calm down, everybody always says the other side's opinion is propaganda. Let's talk this out like adults, which I hope and believe you two are.

  • @TheDrumdog1
    @TheDrumdog1 Před 10 měsíci +57

    We literally were melting snow here in Austin Texas. Ted and Abbott have to go!!!

    • @spamtownhamilton6200
      @spamtownhamilton6200 Před 10 měsíci +1

      It was honestly terrifying and horrible how helpless we all were. Even if we were in a position to help others, we couldn't leave bc the roads were undriveable for days. And if folks had lost power and/or water (like my parents) well they were doubly SoL bc they couldn't escape! I'm in Austin too but its just incredible to remind myself that this not only happened in our area, but it was statewide!! On the heels of Covid pandemic (or was it during? I can't even remember the timelines clearly anymore). People sat trapped in their homes and literally froze to death. Ted Cruz scurried away to Cancún then skulked back and blamed his kids when it was noticed; people like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez came to us (to Houston IIRC) to lend aid. What a contrast that was. Glad you made it through, neighbor ❤
      Edit to add: Found an article, googled to be sure I wasn't remembering wrong about Cruz and AOC www.businessinsider.com/timeline-cruz-aoc-react-to-the-devastating-texas-winter-storm-2021-2

    • @tracymann3005
      @tracymann3005 Před 10 měsíci +4

      100%

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 10 měsíci +4

      Make it happen already instead of re-electing those worms

    • @MajorHenryL.
      @MajorHenryL. Před 10 měsíci +1

      Why were you melting snow in Austin? What are you? Pro-Global Warming!!!???

    • @savagegecko4575
      @savagegecko4575 Před 9 měsíci +1

      They do, but Texans love them.

  • @ec5394
    @ec5394 Před 10 měsíci +36

    STOP electing incompetent individuals that are only working to benefit themselves.
    I believe all politicians should be re-evaluated annually by randomly selected voters on their job performance, project completions & vote consistencies, etc... in order to qualify for re-election without exceptions.

  • @SidewalkCitizenLA
    @SidewalkCitizenLA Před 10 měsíci +54

    13:25 😂😂😂 seeing as DJT wanted to nuke a hurricane, Klepper wasn't wrong.

    • @offtarget1758
      @offtarget1758 Před 10 měsíci +5

      Came here to say that. I was like 👀

  • @Sevenfold120
    @Sevenfold120 Před 10 měsíci +76

    I heard that Ted asked his wife during the freeze why dont the citizens who are freezing just fly to a warmer country when its cold at home.

    • @XanderRadev
      @XanderRadev Před 10 měsíci +9

      wouldn't be surprising

    • @sensai32
      @sensai32 Před 10 měsíci +5

      I wouldn't be surprised if she told them to eat cake when they get hungry.

  • @parelpaardje
    @parelpaardje Před 10 měsíci +33

    Trevor and Jordan I could watch those two 24/7😂❤😂

  • @eye9guy643
    @eye9guy643 Před 10 měsíci +19

    A Hispanic from Canada pretending to be a Texan.

  • @James-md7fy
    @James-md7fy Před 10 měsíci +13

    “A self-financed, melting jack-o-lantern” lol... Love this guy

  • @retiredguy7273
    @retiredguy7273 Před 10 měsíci +32

    Thank you daily show for sustaining me through the writers and actors strike! Bravo!

    • @vampcaff
      @vampcaff Před 10 měsíci +1

      You should be thanking the writers that wrote these segments. Not the greedy corporation that continues to regurgitate over used clips to continue to make a buck.

    • @retiredguy7273
      @retiredguy7273 Před 10 měsíci

      @@vampcaff excellent point that escaped me. Thanks

  • @justgranny9601
    @justgranny9601 Před 10 měsíci +29

    The Pope and trump are on stage in front of a large crowd.
    The Pope says to Trump, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
    Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Show me!”
    So the Pope slapped him.

  • @KiwiHelpgeek
    @KiwiHelpgeek Před 10 měsíci +20

    It only takes 10 seconds to hate Ted Cruz

  • @peanutbutta213
    @peanutbutta213 Před 10 měsíci +39

    I’m dyslexic and read the title as Ted Cruz furry.

  • @robertopadilla8984
    @robertopadilla8984 Před 3 měsíci +2

    The Hassan Minaj, Jordan Kleper and Trevor Noah bit was hilarious. Great writing.

  • @cliffordfujii5376
    @cliffordfujii5376 Před 10 měsíci +53

    I endured 26 minutes of Ted Cruz. Do I get a cookie?

    • @openminds8765
      @openminds8765 Před 10 měsíci +7

      7:47 No Soup for you 🍜🤮

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Před 10 měsíci +4

      How can you even think of food after that ?

    • @openminds8765
      @openminds8765 Před 10 měsíci +4

      @@sunshine3914 Tru dat - I am going on a fast and pray that my mind deletes any image of Cancun Ted - not even green eggs and ham🟩🥚🟩

    • @ladybeetle245
      @ladybeetle245 Před 10 měsíci +3

      Yes, and you also get a lollipop!

    • @PurpleMonkeyDishwasher88
      @PurpleMonkeyDishwasher88 Před 9 měsíci +1

      You get a Cruz favorite... a lukewarm can of Campbell's New England clam chowder. Enjoy!

  • @Arsenic71
    @Arsenic71 Před 10 měsíci +29

    As a German I'd like to laugh about it but our government has taken many, many lessons from him. So now I can only cry.

  • @stanleycoleman
    @stanleycoleman Před 10 měsíci +28

    A face only a mother could love

    • @user-lf1be1of8f
      @user-lf1be1of8f Před 10 měsíci +8

      And then you catch her making that face of “ no, not really!”

    • @michaelj.beglinjr.2804
      @michaelj.beglinjr.2804 Před 10 měsíci +2

      It's a shame she doesn't.

    • @eddiebrock7024
      @eddiebrock7024 Před 10 měsíci +3

      ​@@user-lf1be1of8flol she was like, "well idk about all THAT!"" 🙄

  • @lesliecrunk1
    @lesliecrunk1 Před 10 měsíci +10

    The soup bit took me out 😅😅

  • @alwayshavefaith8394
    @alwayshavefaith8394 Před 10 měsíci +14

    Ted Cruz,of course he never fails to disappoint.

  • @PeacefulWarriorSpirit
    @PeacefulWarriorSpirit Před 10 měsíci +12

    The "moronization" of the gop. Best new word of 2023.

  • @frankmcfall6599
    @frankmcfall6599 Před 10 měsíci +6

    Pure joy! Thank you.

  • @sparkle3000
    @sparkle3000 Před 10 měsíci +27

    Show your fury by voting these criminals and opportunist out of office.

  • @manninggrinnan621
    @manninggrinnan621 Před 10 měsíci +24

    Has anyone noticed that Ted Cruz is looking more and more like Fidel Castro?

    • @duyanhpham9227
      @duyanhpham9227 Před 10 měsíci +5

      More like his overweight son

    • @lisaahmari7199
      @lisaahmari7199 Před 10 měsíci +4

      Love him or hate him, Castro was intelligent and started his political journey with a sincere to help people. He became a monster. Ted was born that way.

  • @jefferyfarr6542
    @jefferyfarr6542 Před 10 měsíci +21

    Ted Cruz probably bought that soup out of a car trunk. Someone probably stole a tractor trailer full of soup and passed the savings on to Ted Cruz.

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I'd say it's more likely that he stole it from a soup kitchen... That's more his style.

  • @MichaelChavez-wf1yf
    @MichaelChavez-wf1yf Před 10 měsíci +6

    Outstanding Trevor.

  • @cherylhughes8212
    @cherylhughes8212 Před 8 měsíci +2

    And he looks like "Riff-Raff" on the Underdog cartoon!

  • @davidallen111
    @davidallen111 Před 10 měsíci +6

    Ted Cruz makes me ashamed to admit that I like Campbell's Chunky soup. But it often goes on sale, so you have to stock up. Then we buy a whole case (12 cans).

  • @caitrina19
    @caitrina19 Před 10 měsíci +9

    He is, and always has been, creepy!!!

  • @MrBoscoBear
    @MrBoscoBear Před 10 měsíci +2

    I could not get half-way thru this before stopping it. A low-brow living the hi-life.

  • @CelticSongbird9642
    @CelticSongbird9642 Před 9 měsíci +3

    The head job coach for my day program mentioned one of the clients moving to Texas. I said that I didn't like Texas because they had Ted Cruz. She said that all politicians are unlikable. I told her that Ted Cruz kicked it up a notch.

  • @fjeinca
    @fjeinca Před 10 měsíci +3

    I’ve noticed that Crud has been off the radar lately. Almost like his only position on the issues of the day is “hidden”.

  • @jamesbond-iu4ig
    @jamesbond-iu4ig Před 10 měsíci +8

    I could not stop laughing .Cruz is such a creep

  • @adansantos73
    @adansantos73 Před 10 měsíci +6

    EW EW EW!!! Stop torturing us!

  • @kimclarkson9083
    @kimclarkson9083 Před 10 měsíci +35

    And we can thank all the bone heads in his Texas district for continuing to keep him and his boogers on public display in WA DC.

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 10 měsíci +4

      District? It's not a district, it's the whole state - and worst of all they elected him twice.

    • @shannansmith2188
      @shannansmith2188 Před 8 měsíci +2

      ​@StoneE4 Not the whole state, lots of us are trying to get him out! Vote Colin Allred!!

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@shannansmith2188 Lots of you need to *_TRY A LOT HARDER!!!_*

  • @elizamccroskey1708
    @elizamccroskey1708 Před 10 měsíci +5

    So many ways to be awful. The bacon wrapped gun isn't the worst but you know he has never cleaned his own guns. Horrible human..

  • @Dermatillomaniac
    @Dermatillomaniac Před 10 měsíci +2

    How have I never heard his weird soup story before?!

  • @infinityd
    @infinityd Před 10 měsíci +1

    beautifully done thanks

  • @CatsMeow918
    @CatsMeow918 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you!

  • @chewpocalypse
    @chewpocalypse Před 10 měsíci +2

    "who is this man?" Incredible

  • @Jermo7899
    @Jermo7899 Před 10 měsíci +3

    I dumbfounded why people would want to vote for the Narcissistic Party

  • @tomcat58rtc
    @tomcat58rtc Před 10 měsíci +2

    And voted back in. WOW!!!!

  • @motherofgrr9494
    @motherofgrr9494 Před 3 měsíci

    5:59 the way momma cruz looks at her daughter when she shuts her dad down from lying about their cute lil fake family dynamic bs 😅 she got one of those "I'm gonna get you when we get to the car" looks..😅😂

  • @Samael-Metzger
    @Samael-Metzger Před 9 měsíci +5

    Really pathetic when you see Ted Cruz' daughters don't even respect or trust him. There is one absolute about being a father and that is to raise your children so they know they have at least one man they can trust and who will protect them. On the positive side, at least Cruz is making sure his children are better people than he is.

    • @julianparsons3027
      @julianparsons3027 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Well, he has set the bar quite low…

    • @JonasR001
      @JonasR001 Před 27 dny

      Wouldnt count on it. Trump's sons lived with him his entire life and they still adore him even though apparently he doesnt think too highly on either of them

  • @flobbergassy
    @flobbergassy Před 10 měsíci +4

    Man, I miss Trevor.

  • @sunshine3914
    @sunshine3914 Před 10 měsíci +5

    3:08 Seriously, he’s just Gross! 🤮 I pity his girls.

    • @ninamenon
      @ninamenon Před 10 měsíci +1

      Remember when her tried to hug his oldest daughter and she pushed him away?😅
      She has his number!

  • @sharontalley2155
    @sharontalley2155 Před 3 měsíci +1

    We were without water, heat, phone, electricity during that storm in Texas. It lasted for days. Stuck in bed with my overcoat on and gloves and knit hat. Disliked Ted before that but seeing him leaving for Cancun while we were freezing was just too much.

  • @davidestremera6003
    @davidestremera6003 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Florida and Texas are places where brains 🧠 go to die 😢

  • @ravgm7947
    @ravgm7947 Před 10 měsíci +3

    He shouldn't pass the buck on his daughters

  • @aesea57804
    @aesea57804 Před 5 měsíci +1

    11:07 The National Review quote about Trump as a menace✔️

  • @jennifercornman1291
    @jennifercornman1291 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Jordon Klemper should be the next host

  • @Me-br2vy
    @Me-br2vy Před 10 měsíci +14

    I was so shocked that Beto lost to abbot

    • @randibgood
      @randibgood Před 10 měsíci +3

      And to Cancun Cruz.

    • @MajorHenryL.
      @MajorHenryL. Před 10 měsíci

      Robert Francis O’Rourke, aka “Fakexican” was a HORRIBLE and inauthentic candidate. Suits you people well.

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 10 měsíci +2

      There's only one thing that explains it... Texans.

    • @MajorHenryL.
      @MajorHenryL. Před 10 měsíci

      @@StoneE4
      Thats racist!!

    • @StoneE4
      @StoneE4 Před 10 měsíci

      @@MajorHenryL. Oh yeah? What race am I disparaging?

  • @angelrivera8558
    @angelrivera8558 Před 10 měsíci +2

    That’s Teddy for you. he truly doesn’t care for any one other then $$$$$$$$$$$$$

  • @martinephiltjens8209
    @martinephiltjens8209 Před 10 měsíci +4

    This is not the 1rst time he did this, when it was covid he pulled this cancoun thing to.

  • @ChrisRD526
    @ChrisRD526 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Vote out Cancun Ted.

  • @kylebriggs190
    @kylebriggs190 Před 10 měsíci +3

    I miss the Daily Show and Late Night with Stephen Colbert. Hope the strikes stop soon.

  • @crippletron6879
    @crippletron6879 Před 10 měsíci +4

    It’s funny but sad how we used to look back at Trump vs Cruz and think that Cruz was somehow worse, or how we had hope in Trump actually being presidential and taking the job seriously. Say what you will, but a Cruz presidency would have been far better for America and our Allies than what we got with Trump….and that hurts to say because I despise Cruz.

    • @chrislaakso5604
      @chrislaakso5604 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Hillary would of been pres if Raphael Cruz was the nominee

    • @bd3470
      @bd3470 Před 10 měsíci +2

      We could have had Bernie ffs. The entire time would have been higher wages, peace and we could have all gone to bed by 8:30 completely satisfied.

  • @sandra47958
    @sandra47958 Před 9 měsíci

    Oh I get it you are talking about Rafael Cruz 😂😂😅 or is it Eddie Munster??

  • @user-kh8fw1fw1v
    @user-kh8fw1fw1v Před 10 měsíci +2

    Thanks, I absolutely hated listening to this and seeing Ted’s Melting face

  • @susa5846
    @susa5846 Před 10 měsíci

    Ted seems to know Loriots movie "Pappa ante Portas". 😂

  • @themrwoody1434
    @themrwoody1434 Před 10 měsíci +2

    I don’t think I’ll be able to make it the full 26 minutes…

  • @exiledhobbit1441
    @exiledhobbit1441 Před 10 měsíci +1

    "We don't sing together." Wrong about his own daughters/ Who'da thought?

  • @Bidenvoter
    @Bidenvoter Před 10 měsíci

    some great insight here

  • @vampcaff
    @vampcaff Před 10 měsíci

    The recap of the daily show in 2023 is just going to be clips from 2020-2022. A true viewing experience.

  • @mattx9260
    @mattx9260 Před 9 měsíci

    🌽Trump & Ted eats corn the long way 🌽

  • @jackster9775
    @jackster9775 Před 9 měsíci

    5:17 my friend’s dad had a heart attack in his sleep and died the day after watching a 2011 re-showing of this movie in the theater.

  • @peterschairer488
    @peterschairer488 Před 3 měsíci

    Why can't we call him by his real name - Frank Burns Jr.

  • @spamtownhamilton6200
    @spamtownhamilton6200 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Fled Cruz

  • @juliestedfast361
    @juliestedfast361 Před 10 měsíci

    Miss you Comedy Central

  • @markpalmer7832
    @markpalmer7832 Před 10 měsíci

    My South African friend was a big white Harley Biker....he had same accent as this man

  • @usuckthereturn
    @usuckthereturn Před 9 měsíci

    Someone needs to protect those kids from the Zodiac killer.

  • @rogy1969
    @rogy1969 Před 10 měsíci

    Nice ...

  • @randymccaleb9464
    @randymccaleb9464 Před 3 měsíci

    In Texas, we call him Ratatouille. Hes such a rat!

  • @SuenosDeLaNoche
    @SuenosDeLaNoche Před 10 měsíci +1

    Ted "Odd Father" Cruz

  • @dannyd1572
    @dannyd1572 Před 9 měsíci

    Wait...I thought most of Texas has been calling for secession

  • @ronaldharding3927
    @ronaldharding3927 Před 10 měsíci

    PLEASE ANY OTHER ROOM.

  • @zacharyyoung2949
    @zacharyyoung2949 Před 9 měsíci

    I love soup

  • @th3c05m05
    @th3c05m05 Před 10 měsíci +1

    pay your writers

  • @jimkateeb3427
    @jimkateeb3427 Před 10 měsíci

    Nice job Texas lol

  • @mckeewardiv6307
    @mckeewardiv6307 Před 10 měsíci +4

    I do not like that man Ted Cruz
    I do not like his far right views

  • @Jin420
    @Jin420 Před 10 měsíci

    Ted Cruz & Ron DeSantis look like Ratigan (from The Great Mouse Detective) ....
    I know it's just me ... but I see the face of a evil mouse with those 2.. 😂

  • @highshelf
    @highshelf Před 9 měsíci

    11:20 they're making trump sound great

  • @daedalusjones4228
    @daedalusjones4228 Před měsícem

    When do we get Trevor back?

  • @orangeapples3
    @orangeapples3 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Either Ted Cruz‘s wife got a makeover or under our noses, he traded her in. Either way, she looks marvelous dalink.

  • @kennylaborde4601
    @kennylaborde4601 Před 10 měsíci

    Agreed with midas touch. Glad I'm not longer in the ditch with these loonies alone.

  • @FiveHeadGames
    @FiveHeadGames Před 10 měsíci

    He's back from getting milk! 🙌 haha jk jk

    • @xp8969
      @xp8969 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Not milk, it was soup, just soup for his family

  • @davidestremera6003
    @davidestremera6003 Před 10 měsíci +1

    Ted Cruz and George Santos are one and the same 😢😢😢

  • @daedalusjones4228
    @daedalusjones4228 Před měsícem

    This country needs Trevor Noah again.

  • @dweeds
    @dweeds Před 10 měsíci

    Well, he still got voted in, soooo. All wells

  • @fjeinca
    @fjeinca Před 10 měsíci

    13:00 in, this is hilarious. #Enjoy

  • @user-ub2vy9tg6j
    @user-ub2vy9tg6j Před 3 měsíci

    😂

  • @imaviet408
    @imaviet408 Před 10 měsíci

    Are they hinting that they’re bringing Trevor back?

    • @Dermatillomaniac
      @Dermatillomaniac Před 10 měsíci

      Nope...just trying to post content and stay relevant during the strike!

  • @tbecker97204
    @tbecker97204 Před 10 měsíci +1

    *"Ted Cruz = Senor Frog!"*

  • @ButWhyWasTaken
    @ButWhyWasTaken Před 3 měsíci +1

    Trump calling Cruz a liar...

  • @dygaming7865
    @dygaming7865 Před 10 měsíci

    Hey, when will you talk about the real company Cannafarm Ltd that brings profit?

  • @davedarlington5089
    @davedarlington5089 Před 10 měsíci

    When Texas Republicans got Ted Cruz they considered that a win....🤫

  • @uncertainscientist
    @uncertainscientist Před 10 měsíci +1

    Thanks I hate it

  • @akashlight1068
    @akashlight1068 Před 10 měsíci

    Is he back on show...i thought he left the show.....can anyone tell me....is he back?

    • @Dermatillomaniac
      @Dermatillomaniac Před 10 měsíci

      Nope...he's not back/coming back...they're just posting content and trying to stay relevant during the strike.

  • @normalityrelief
    @normalityrelief Před 10 měsíci

    They literally almost called Trump wanting to nuke a hurricane