Engagement, giving people what they need and giving people what they didn’t even know they needed always makes for a successful speaking experience. Enjoyed this!
I'm only 2 mins into this video and I'm loving it. Us introverts need to get it through our heads that people are interested in what we have to say, our opinions do matter and we do have a right to express ourselves in public!
This was great information. I have my first public presentation in a few weeks. I know my subject well. Delivering your message as yourself makes the experience seem more exciting to me. Many thanks for this.
I couldn't agree more regarding this. I truly believe our worse fears are in our mind and, it's so difficult to overcome them. Thanks for reminding me the importance of changing my mind every day.
Thank you Alex and Shelly for this great video. I used to do a ton of public speaking/presenting -- never feeling 100% confident -- and now have gotten out of practice. So many helpful reminders here. We can never hear the advice "be yourself" often enough. That and, focus on solving a problem. For a classic introvert like me that's such excellent advice and can flip the whole experience and outcome. Alex your videos are a Godsend! All the best.
OMG, that’s exactly what happened to me. I get into tech field thought I had never have to do public speaking. But these days, even in tech fields you almost can’t avoid doing public speaking. It’s a skill becoming more and more important.
"Competence vs. Confidence-excellent point. Preparedness will be very helpful. Authenticity is important. What about SHY introverts that don't want to put expose the "self" ? Excellent point about helping others- shifting the focus of awareness on the audience rather than the self. Useful ideas. Thankyou.
For those who are saying you’re an introvert but like giving public speaking isn’t really an introvert because a true introverted person mind stops and sometimes you can’t even remember what you’re supposed to be talking about. Sometimes ppl will walk off stage or if it’s on zoom, just close the whole meeting.
@@alexanderlyon this video resonated with me in a big way because I know deep down that I have so much to say that will be useful for people, but I put myself down thinking that I'm not at the level of others who are more comfortable doing it. So it's amazing to see someone who feels the same way being interviewed by you and explaining how she feels and perceives others during public speech. Brilliant, so useful. Thanks again Alex
@@ShellySavesTheDay Hi Shelly, really appreciate the response. I have done a few public speeches but I had to force myself like crazy. My default state is to kind of lurk in the shadows but if I feel strongly enough to speak then the flood gates open. That’s the reason I started making content for CZcams and TikTok so as to share my thoughts with others and to force myself into the public speaking mindset. I was amazed at the response! If you have time and the inclination, I would dearly appreciate your feedback on any of my videos… I do some religious videos too but there are many where I talk about mindset and positivity which you might be willing to give feedback on. If not, you’re a busy person and I don’t expect anything and again really appreciate your taking the time to respond.
This is very important to someone trying to get a job! Shortly after I started working for NYNEX, we had to speak to the entire engineering from Long Islands the entire engineering group though Albany, we had to speak about yourself for 15 minutes with few index cards, it is a topic you know about I found it very difficult to find 15 minutes on my life that would be interesting to that big a crowd! As my experience grew and I could talk about equipment and services that was much easier I found talking to people who were not happy about what I was presenting and the opposite having a resource like this available on you tube, we got an hour meeting about public speaking, if you have the opportunity to get the audience involved asking questions no matter what your job is that situation will come up! If guidance counselors suggested people take a course in it my Mom snd guidance counselor pushed I take a typing course one of the better suggestions Boring
As an introvert I have no issue speaking in public about a specific topic. I just don't like delivering a welcome/opening message or anything which I consider "small talk". I wouldn't know what to say lols
Interesting video👍 As a side note, I'm a person with ASD and I wonder what her measuring stick for introversion is. What does she classify as “extreme” introversion? 🙂 I think this is where I can safely say “hold my beer!!”
Hey Coach, my question for you. I have a tendacy to speak out load when im working. It's usually a "game plan scenerio" verbal self talk to myself. Im unsure if its healthy/unproffessional. ( No foul language )but when i've done in front of others they chime in. I usually say "oh I was speaking out load" but lately it seems like its coming off as im not confident. Side note- Alot of Bodybuilders self talk before a P.R. lift and I think I picked up this so called habit there. YOUR THOUGHTS? sorry for the loaded question.
You mean you talk to yourself but out loud and it's a type of self-talk to encourage yourself? If that's what it is, I can see how that could be confusing to others. When people talk to themselves (for whatever purpose), it doesn't provide the people around you with a way to participate. Other people would likely interpret it as nervous or anxious behavior and it could, as a result, make them nervous and anxious. Whether it's actually unhealthy, I don't know. But, I could see how it could create uncertainty about you, and, in that way, would not likely build your credibility with others. But, I've got very little to go on because I've never heard or seen you do it. Just my initial gut reaction and 2 cents.
@@alexanderlyon Great explanation Coach. I see how the participation aspect you mentioned makes sense, no wonder why people say (Remind me not to forget milk at the store....) as a example. I guess I will say: Im making a mental checklist, when I get caught speaking outload.
I'm introvert, and I'm always looking for a window of opportunity to escape or dissappear. My question is. I don't like using my hands when I speak or when I'm conversating. How much hand gesturing is ok? I just feel if I use my hands to talk? I'm projecting levels of anxiety. I also feel anxiety when a speaker or the person I'm conversating with and thier hands are all over place. Thank you.
As long as you're gesturing a medium amount (about one gesture per sentence), then it will enhance your message. I have a video on the Types of Hand Gestures that explains more about the subject.
Yes, like Shelly said, a response that sounds like this is pretty solid, "I don't know, but what I CAN tell you is . . ." and then provide whatever information you know that would be helpful.
@@alexanderlyon Thank you both for your contribution and taking the time to answer my question. Really appreciate it 🌹 Can’t wait to say “I don’t know but what I can tell you is ..” for that scary question
@@alexanderlyon I'm Safety and Environment Manager and my job requires quite a bit of public speaking. However, I'm an introvert and I get quite nervous. So, you bringing an introvert was very helpful. Please keep it up with your good work.
Interesting discussion. But someone should point out... Although *"Introvertness" and "Shyness" might look the same, they are not the same:* _"Introvertness" and "Extrovertness" are personality traits¹, while "Shyness" is an emotion²._ Both introverted and extraverted people can be shy. Therefore, _ceteris paribus,_ an introvert don't have more problem than an extrovert to speak in public. In conclusion, she was very *shy,* she worked on herself and now she's *not shy* anymore! Sincerely Bravo. However this has nothing to do with her being an introvert. As a side note, Bill Gates is an introvert, his ex-employees would certainly laugh if asked: was Bill a shy guy?³ Nice tips anyway. Take care 🍀 *Source:* *¹* _Healthline - "Extroverts, Introverts, and Everything in Between"_ - Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP *²* _Healthline - "What You Should Know About Shyness"_ - Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP *³* Search for "the angry Bill" on CZcams. *Edit:* typo
Thank you for your comment. I'm familiar with various studies on personality traits and they are helpful and I also understand the difference between shyness and introversion. I want to be clear that we were only talking about introversion in the video, not shyness. Shelly is not shy and I'm not sure she really ever was shy (at least in her professional stage of life). In fact, when I met her, I assumed she was an extrovert because she is very confident in her point of view and herself and she's outgoing about life. It's just that at the beginning of her career, like many introverts, she didn't _seek out_ public speaking. And, I'm guessing here based upon the extent to which I know her story, but, in part, I believe because she didn't see it as a logical fit and didn't feel the need to get energized by being around large groups of people. In other words, you are correct that introversion and shyness are not the same thing (though, they do often align, and I believe they align much more so than shyness and extroversion) and we didn't touch on shyness in the video because she's not shy. If we take it even more out of the lab for a moment, I can tell you that in practical real-world experiences that I've had working with lots of clients (and students), self-described introverts are typically not quick to volunteer or pursue public speaking, at least in the beginning. In the same way, they say they tend to struggle speaking up in meetings (not because of shyness) but because they are processing internally and are more likely to listen without feeling the need to fill the silence and can find meetings draining. Extroverts (self-describe) tend to think as they speak, fill the silences, often get increasingly "amped" at meetings and that doesn't leave much in-the-moment room in the conversation for the introverts and internal processors. Over time, extroverts get asked to do presentations because they already fit the profile and are quicker to volunteer because they see the experience as more energizing. In contrast, the introverts I know have told me that while they like the act of creating a message and doing public speaking, the presentational aspects of it usually leave them drained. They aren't quick to seek it out, at least in their early careers. But, big-picture many of the best public speakers I know are introverts. In my experience, at the beginning of their careers, introverts sometimes need some encouragement to do public speaking because they do not naturally gravitate to the idea of speaking in large gatherings or "need" it to feel energized by it. Once they get rolling, introverts often make great public speakers. They don't have any problems with it, as you mentioned. Once she got a taste for public speaking and saw that she was good at it, Shelly set a goal do to more public speaking. Thanks again for your comment.
@@alexanderlyon Mmm... Ok. With the background set, now I understand your point of view. It's more about empowering introverted people to do public speach. Because although they tend to avoid it because of the energy drain due to the characteristics of their personality (as described by Carl Jung), in practice the challenge of public speach can be very rewarding for them: who knows? Maybe some of them are even born for it, like her (Shelly). Great ambition. Sorry for assuming what she was not, I thought I had a good understanding of the situation, I was wrong. Thank you for the reply. Take care 🍀 *Edit:* typo
This may not apply to the guest but is still a very important point. Introversion and shyness is often conflated. I think it can be very helpfull for individuals to be able to separate the two.
Hey thanks for all you videos. I was wondering how I could contact you with a message or email outside of just leaving a comment? I just saw a 4min video I wanted you to watch because I think half the world would appreciate your analysis on it. Thank you!
I recommend you post it here in the comments. I can't do much one-on-one email communication like that. It would overwhelm my daily schedule. Sorry about that.
Offer a point of improvement for Shelly??? Why would I do that? This video wasn't a critique of Shelly and I never said it was supposed to be. She didn't approach me for help or advice on her public speaking. I approached her and asked if she would be willing to be a _guest_ on my channel to share her experience for the benefit of other introverts. I'd never invite a guest on the channel to critique them. The title of the video is _5 Public Speaking Tips for Introverts_ and we based the tips on Shelly's experience.
Just saying you are the worst critic sometimes applies to myself and people around me when they talk about situations that they feel uncomfortable with👍👍👍👍👍😎
😅 I was trying hardly to catch what she is saying. I noticed something with her. She is not concise and so long winded. And she is not pausing in between the sentences.
Engagement, giving people what they need and giving people what they didn’t even know they needed always makes for a successful speaking experience. Enjoyed this!
Hi, Ruth! Great to hear from you.
I'm an introvert and yet I've never had an issue with public speaking. Kinda enjoy it, actually.
Exactly, introversion is on a spectrum.
Same!!
Same
You might be an extrovert 😎
I think you just are an extrovert, because being an introvert = hate public speaking 😅
I'm only 2 mins into this video and I'm loving it. Us introverts need to get it through our heads that people are interested in what we have to say, our opinions do matter and we do have a right to express ourselves in public!
This was great information. I have my first public presentation in a few weeks. I know my subject well. Delivering your message as yourself makes the experience seem more exciting to me. Many thanks for this.
I couldn't agree more regarding this. I truly believe our worse fears are in our mind and, it's so difficult to overcome them. Thanks for reminding me the importance of changing my mind every day.
Thank you Alex and Shelly for this great video. I used to do a ton of public speaking/presenting -- never feeling 100% confident -- and now have gotten out of practice. So many helpful reminders here. We can never hear the advice "be yourself" often enough. That and, focus on solving a problem. For a classic introvert like me that's such excellent advice and can flip the whole experience and outcome. Alex your videos are a Godsend! All the best.
Great video , your videos have helped me a lot , especially for someone who failed a grade for speech/ reading skills.
I am so glad I found this channel! Thank you 🙏🏼
I'm glad you found the channel too, Kawai.
Thank you so much for that encouragement. I have this phobia of the audience asking me questions I can't answer. Now that is settled.
OMG, that’s exactly what happened to me. I get into tech field thought I had never have to do public speaking. But these days, even in tech fields you almost can’t avoid doing public speaking. It’s a skill becoming more and more important.
"Competence vs. Confidence-excellent point. Preparedness will be very helpful. Authenticity is important. What about SHY introverts that don't want to put expose the "self" ? Excellent point about helping others- shifting the focus of awareness on the audience rather than the self. Useful ideas. Thankyou.
Thank you she is amazing and right on point with how to communicate!!
For those who are saying you’re an introvert but like giving public speaking isn’t really an introvert because a true introverted person mind stops and sometimes you can’t even remember what you’re supposed to be talking about. Sometimes ppl will walk off stage or if it’s on zoom, just close the whole meeting.
These are really helpful and specific tips! Bookmarked for future use 😊
Shelly has the IT factor. Or should I say star factor. Lovely young woman.
Thanks for this content. Your channel is extremely valuable.
I appreciate that, Abdurahiim.
@@alexanderlyon this video resonated with me in a big way because I know deep down that I have so much to say that will be useful for people, but I put myself down thinking that I'm not at the level of others who are more comfortable doing it. So it's amazing to see someone who feels the same way being interviewed by you and explaining how she feels and perceives others during public speech. Brilliant, so useful. Thanks again Alex
@@ShellySavesTheDay Hi Shelly, really appreciate the response. I have done a few public speeches but I had to force myself like crazy. My default state is to kind of lurk in the shadows but if I feel strongly enough to speak then the flood gates open. That’s the reason I started making content for CZcams and TikTok so as to share my thoughts with others and to force myself into the public speaking mindset. I was amazed at the response! If you have time and the inclination, I would dearly appreciate your feedback on any of my videos… I do some religious videos too but there are many where I talk about mindset and positivity which you might be willing to give feedback on. If not, you’re a busy person and I don’t expect anything and again really appreciate your taking the time to respond.
Thanks Sir
This is very important to someone trying to get a job! Shortly after I started working for NYNEX, we had to speak to the entire engineering from Long Islands the entire engineering group though Albany, we had to speak about yourself for 15 minutes with few index cards, it is a topic you know about I found it very difficult to find 15 minutes on my life that would be interesting to that big a crowd! As my experience grew and I could talk about equipment and services that was much easier I found talking to people who were not happy about what I was presenting and the opposite having a resource like this available on you tube, we got an hour meeting about public speaking, if you have the opportunity to get the audience involved asking questions no matter what your job is that situation will come up!
If guidance counselors suggested people take a course in it my Mom snd guidance counselor pushed I take a typing course one of the better suggestions
Boring
As an introvert I have no issue speaking in public about a specific topic. I just don't like delivering a welcome/opening message or anything which I consider "small talk". I wouldn't know what to say lols
Thank you so mych God blass you too
Interesting video👍 As a side note, I'm a person with ASD and I wonder what her measuring stick for introversion is. What does she classify as “extreme” introversion? 🙂 I think this is where I can safely say “hold my beer!!”
I'm not sure which assessment tools Shelly has used but I'm assuming she has a very clear score indicating introversion. But, you may have her beat!!
Hey Coach, my question for you. I have a tendacy to speak out load when im working. It's usually a "game plan scenerio" verbal self talk to myself. Im unsure if its healthy/unproffessional. ( No foul language )but when i've done in front of others they chime in. I usually say "oh I was speaking out load" but lately it seems like its coming off as im not confident. Side note- Alot of Bodybuilders self talk before a P.R. lift and I think I picked up this so called habit there. YOUR THOUGHTS? sorry for the loaded question.
You mean you talk to yourself but out loud and it's a type of self-talk to encourage yourself? If that's what it is, I can see how that could be confusing to others. When people talk to themselves (for whatever purpose), it doesn't provide the people around you with a way to participate. Other people would likely interpret it as nervous or anxious behavior and it could, as a result, make them nervous and anxious. Whether it's actually unhealthy, I don't know. But, I could see how it could create uncertainty about you, and, in that way, would not likely build your credibility with others. But, I've got very little to go on because I've never heard or seen you do it. Just my initial gut reaction and 2 cents.
@@alexanderlyon Great explanation Coach. I see how the participation aspect you mentioned makes sense, no wonder why people say (Remind me not to forget milk at the store....) as a example. I guess I will say: Im making a mental checklist, when I get caught speaking outload.
Coach Alex is so handsome 😍🥰
This was fantastic! I would love if you could do an analysis on a Jordan Peterson interview. That would be really fascinating.
Outstanding 🖤 thank you
Thank you Alex in advance
Hello Coach.... really liked this video.
Glad you liked it! Thank you.
I'm introvert, and I'm always looking for a window of opportunity to escape or dissappear. My question is. I don't like using my hands when I speak or when I'm conversating. How much hand gesturing is ok? I just feel if I use my hands to talk? I'm projecting levels of anxiety. I also feel anxiety when a speaker or the person I'm conversating with and thier hands are all over place. Thank you.
As long as you're gesturing a medium amount (about one gesture per sentence), then it will enhance your message. I have a video on the Types of Hand Gestures that explains more about the subject.
@@alexanderlyon ok great. I'll try and find them.
Thanks! Nice video!
Thank you, Hector.
Helpful video 👏🏻👏🏻
↖️ And by the way this is my CZcams channel
In a presentation, if you have been asked a question that you don’t know the answer to it, what would you do?
This is my biggest fear 😰
Just say, "I'm not sure but I'll find out and let you know." That's what genuinely confident speakers say.
@@alexanderlyon
Sounds very reasonable. 👍
Yes, like Shelly said, a response that sounds like this is pretty solid, "I don't know, but what I CAN tell you is . . ." and then provide whatever information you know that would be helpful.
@@alexanderlyon
Thank you both for your contribution and taking the time to answer my question. Really appreciate it 🌹
Can’t wait to say
“I don’t know but what I can tell you is ..”
for that scary question
So amazing
71
This is nicely presented coach Alex.
Thank you. I appreciate it. Shelly is great.
@@alexanderlyon I'm Safety and Environment Manager and my job requires quite a bit of public speaking. However, I'm an introvert and I get quite nervous. So, you bringing an introvert was very helpful. Please keep it up with your good work.
Hi....Hello.....
Interesting discussion. But someone should point out...
Although *"Introvertness" and "Shyness" might look the same, they are not the same:* _"Introvertness" and "Extrovertness" are personality traits¹, while "Shyness" is an emotion²._
Both introverted and extraverted people can be shy.
Therefore, _ceteris paribus,_ an introvert don't have more problem than an extrovert to speak in public.
In conclusion, she was very *shy,* she worked on herself and now she's *not shy* anymore! Sincerely Bravo.
However this has nothing to do with her being an introvert. As a side note, Bill Gates is an introvert, his ex-employees would certainly laugh if asked: was Bill a shy guy?³
Nice tips anyway.
Take care 🍀
*Source:*
*¹* _Healthline - "Extroverts, Introverts, and Everything in Between"_ - Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP
*²* _Healthline - "What You Should Know About Shyness"_ - Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP
*³* Search for "the angry Bill" on CZcams.
*Edit:* typo
Thank you for your comment. I'm familiar with various studies on personality traits and they are helpful and I also understand the difference between shyness and introversion. I want to be clear that we were only talking about introversion in the video, not shyness. Shelly is not shy and I'm not sure she really ever was shy (at least in her professional stage of life). In fact, when I met her, I assumed she was an extrovert because she is very confident in her point of view and herself and she's outgoing about life. It's just that at the beginning of her career, like many introverts, she didn't _seek out_ public speaking. And, I'm guessing here based upon the extent to which I know her story, but, in part, I believe because she didn't see it as a logical fit and didn't feel the need to get energized by being around large groups of people. In other words, you are correct that introversion and shyness are not the same thing (though, they do often align, and I believe they align much more so than shyness and extroversion) and we didn't touch on shyness in the video because she's not shy. If we take it even more out of the lab for a moment, I can tell you that in practical real-world experiences that I've had working with lots of clients (and students), self-described introverts are typically not quick to volunteer or pursue public speaking, at least in the beginning. In the same way, they say they tend to struggle speaking up in meetings (not because of shyness) but because they are processing internally and are more likely to listen without feeling the need to fill the silence and can find meetings draining. Extroverts (self-describe) tend to think as they speak, fill the silences, often get increasingly "amped" at meetings and that doesn't leave much in-the-moment room in the conversation for the introverts and internal processors. Over time, extroverts get asked to do presentations because they already fit the profile and are quicker to volunteer because they see the experience as more energizing. In contrast, the introverts I know have told me that while they like the act of creating a message and doing public speaking, the presentational aspects of it usually leave them drained. They aren't quick to seek it out, at least in their early careers. But, big-picture many of the best public speakers I know are introverts. In my experience, at the beginning of their careers, introverts sometimes need some encouragement to do public speaking because they do not naturally gravitate to the idea of speaking in large gatherings or "need" it to feel energized by it. Once they get rolling, introverts often make great public speakers. They don't have any problems with it, as you mentioned. Once she got a taste for public speaking and saw that she was good at it, Shelly set a goal do to more public speaking. Thanks again for your comment.
@@alexanderlyon
Mmm... Ok.
With the background set, now I understand your point of view.
It's more about empowering introverted people to do public speach. Because although they tend to avoid it because of the energy drain due to the characteristics of their personality (as described by Carl Jung), in practice the challenge of public speach can be very rewarding for them: who knows? Maybe some of them are even born for it, like her (Shelly).
Great ambition.
Sorry for assuming what she was not, I thought I had a good understanding of the situation, I was wrong.
Thank you for the reply.
Take care 🍀
*Edit:* typo
This may not apply to the guest but is still a very important point. Introversion and shyness is often conflated. I think it can be very helpfull for individuals to be able to separate the two.
I am so scared of public speaking, i literally start shaking :(
Please do a review of the Boris Johnson Peppa Pig World speech.
Thanks!
Authentic engage value conversation big pic minset
Have you done a break down of Elizabeth Holmes Theranos scam? Her voice was faked as well. Just wondering about your take on her public scamming?
I'm following that case. I'll very likely do some videos on that at some point.
Hey thanks for all you videos. I was wondering how I could contact you with a message or email outside of just leaving a comment? I just saw a 4min video I wanted you to watch because I think half the world would appreciate your analysis on it. Thank you!
I recommend you post it here in the comments. I can't do much one-on-one email communication like that. It would overwhelm my daily schedule. Sorry about that.
oh, I had it much , much worse that it was in my head :(
You should always offer one point of improvement - otherwise it feels like you're blowing smoke.
Offer a point of improvement for Shelly??? Why would I do that? This video wasn't a critique of Shelly and I never said it was supposed to be. She didn't approach me for help or advice on her public speaking. I approached her and asked if she would be willing to be a _guest_ on my channel to share her experience for the benefit of other introverts. I'd never invite a guest on the channel to critique them. The title of the video is _5 Public Speaking Tips for Introverts_ and we based the tips on Shelly's experience.
Are you adding to useful advice? Do you mean a point of improvement for your audience so they walk away feeling empowered?
Just saying you are the worst critic sometimes applies to myself and people around me when they talk about situations that they feel uncomfortable with👍👍👍👍👍😎
Good Advice: If you don't want to speak publicly don't show competency.
0
❤️🌷🌿
Is she from 🇨🇳
😅 I was trying hardly to catch what she is saying. I noticed something with her. She is not concise and so long winded. And she is not pausing in between the sentences.