OUR FAMILIES SCREEN TIME RULES||AN UPDATE +THINGS HAVE CHANGED|| SCREEN TIME WITH TEENS
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
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Did you say that your kids don’t have their own Apple ID’s? I didn’t know that was possible! I’d love to know more about it.
That’s right and it’s because Apple will NOT disclose anything on a teens account to a parent if the child is over 13 without the child’s permission. Crazy right?
I like this video. I’m 21 now. Got my Instagram in 5th grade. Spent my whole life watching tv. I wish I had had these rules when I was growing up. Imagine all the fun I could have had playing as a child.
I always watched TV after I woke up when I was a kid so I just started letting my kids but it started becoming a problem after we started homeschooling. No one wanted to shut it off to start school and then there would be arguing. I decided the beginning of the month I have had it and we don't turn it on until after school now. It hasn't been easy but they finally quit asking this week.
Yes, to no social media!!
We have a very strict screen time during the school week. It’s 4pm til 5:30pm over when I call them for supper. We’ve done this for years and I love it. Gives me some time to myself and complete quiet while I’m cooking supper. If we had attitudes during school it’s the first thing I’ll take away 15mins at a time.
Ashley you were one of the first homeschool youtuber I watched when I started on this homeschool journey almost a year ago. This was one of the many ideas you gave and it has been working great for us. My kids know that they can only watch once we finish our school work and they're rooms are cleaned. It's a routine now and they spend 90% of the time playing not even missing the TV.
That is awesome!
It is wonderful to hear that your kids are limited on screens - especially on social media! My husband and I have very similar rules and definitely NO social media allowed. My kids do not have phones either. I think social media for kids/teens is toxic for them. It is truly poisoning children. Thank the Lord for good parents like you and thank you for SAYING it!
Listened to this with my kids to reinforce that concerned parents all think alike and want to shield them from the negative effects of social media for as long as possible
Love this. I’ve been letting my kids play video games several times throughout the weekend but it’s seemed to create problems and bad behavior so I think I might try just the hour one day a week like you mentioned.
Thank you so much for always sharing helpful stuff like this. I’ve followed your footsteps in this area and it’s been so fruitful. My kids don’t use screens on school days and the creativity and peace in our home has been amazing.
You’re an awesome mama! Love and amen to all of this!
Screen time is something I've been struggling with. My husband is a TV watcher so my kids seems to be as well. It's hard to monitor. I do need to be more strict about it during the day.
Love this video! It's helped me a lot with some ideas to help change some things around here that I've been feeling called to change. Thank you! 😊
Amen momma! No social media is such a great and wise decision. ❤
I’d love, love to know how you explained to your kiddos the “why” or reasons why they aren’t allowed to have social media. I’m leaning toward that rule when my kiddos become older too and would love to know how those conversations went. Were they upset? Receptive? Has there been any tensions with that parenting choice: “everyone else has it”, etc! Thank you so much for sharing all that you do! 🩵
This video is such a blessing. Thank you so much.
I love these kinds of videos. Although I have older kids and have been parenting for a long time. 30 years. This is the only kids I've patented as a Christian and I know I need ro do things differently.
I think the Lord led me to your video for this specific topic! My husband and I have been prayerfully considering what healthy screentime boundaries are for our 7 and 11 yo. I fall on the 'lets get rid of TV's and screens', and he falls into the more liberal use of screens. We homeschool and I can see how screen time -even less time than the recommended age limit- adversity affects their attitudes and behavior. I also use screen time restrictions as a negative consequence for poor choices. I'm encouraged that you also take a hard line on social media. It is such a powerful and influential force over young people these days. We are parenting in uncharted waters!! Thankfully the Lord promises to guide us! Ps. Would love a video on rebellion or fear of your children rebelling against high expectations and boundaries drawn. My husband brings this fear up frequently as he knew quite a few rebellious friends in school. A spiritual viewpoint would be helpful.
I have content like that In the membership!
Yes! This is excellent, way to go mama.
You have been such a light in my homeschool journey! I was just telling my husband how I’m just praying for us(my kids) to find “our people” who think and are more like us in values they hold. So I just love listening to everything you say that I believe in. But you are about 2 years ahead of me in teenage years and I’m thankful to be able to hear your example of what you e fine through!
I’d love to hear more about how the apple thing works with them having your ID on the phone. Do they then see your messages and such?
Thank you!! ❤
I enjoyed and appreciate this video. Thank you!
I am so glad that other families aren't letting their kids have social media! I commented in a fb group last week that my kids will never have social media and ALL the comments told me my kids would hate me, sneak around behind my back and have it anyway, and then cut off all contact with me as soon as they turn 18. As if lack of social media makes their lives miserable and they'll hate me and have zero friends. It was so sad, and I'm glad I'm not alone in this!
I love this. We don't allow social media and every other kid we know has it even younger than my kids.
This was really helpful. Thank you.
I believe when I watched ur first video it truly encouraged me to do no screen and screen times. I have see how it affects my little boy and all the things. So yes I appreciate these videos
Great video! ❤
We're usually pretty minimal with screen time, however in the winter we tend to be a little more lenient especially since I'm almost due with my 3rd and just exhausted sometimes. Warmer weather though it's basically nonexistent! We don't have personal screens for them though and do not plan on having those for a very long time. And we're also pretty strict with what they're allowed to watch. I definitely agree with not having social media for kids/teens!
Love all creatures great and small!! I'm so excited season 3 is finally out. "Around the world in 80 days" by masterpiece was great too. Also "When calls the Heart" is a family favorite as well. It's got that Little House on the prairie feel to it! 🤣
Thankyou
Amen to all of this!!!! ❤
My daughter doesn’t really use her iPad except for 1/2 a day to talk to friends…they FaceTime . She doesn’t have a Facebook or anything like that. I really dislike media in general. I speak from experience my son was addicted (I am on my second set of children so I’ve learned the hard way) and I wish I had done something different. You are doing the right thing….you won’t regret it but you could regret letting them have too much screen time. I hear the argument a lot that kids won’t know how to handle getting it when they get older but I disagree …they will figure it out and quite frankly they just won’t be as dependent on it.
My eldest is 11 and I 1,000 percent agree with your method I legit do the exact same except they have 2 hours on Saturday and Sunday because our Fridays are our fun Fridays and for runnings errands. When they are older I can see myself following the same method but at 18 giving them full control even if they are still in my house to see how they manage so I can help if there is a problem before they move out. (Or at least that's what I'm thinking)
This topic is so important. We have been holding off this beast for a long time. I’d love to hear more about what you use to limit your kids’ exposure to the bad side of tech with iPhones.
1000000% agree with you
Great momma!
I would ask what your advice would be when you have zero support from the spouse on this issue. My spouse is an avid gamer and constantly has an electronic device in his hands. I have tried to set rules for my kids with all electronics because I see the pathway in which it becomes addiction. It is a constant struggle in our home.
I struggle with this as well. My husband is on his phone all the time and he is now bringing my kids into it by having them play Pokemon go with him while we go for a family walk.
I just have to remind myself that I can't control my husbands actions, I can just try to set an example through my own actions.
100% agree with the giving of a privilege so that you have something to use as a consequence LOL! My son can play the switch for an hour on Saturday and Sunday. His behavior was atrocious on Saturday so he lost that privilege on Sunday as the consequence. Then he realized that he'd have to wait a whole week before he could play again. 😅
We have a no social media rule, too. I’m 36 and have a hard time with my own mental health regarding social media so I cannot even imagine the impact of social media on a mind that isn’t yet fully developed. They use my CZcams account for educational channels while we’re in the same room but that’s it. I still feel a little hypocritical utilizing social media and posting on it as my job, but I definitely agree. There’s a huge difference in how we partake in it versus how a child does. My kids haven’t played a video game yet and I’m debating letting them have minimal access on the weekend, but I don’t know if that’s coming from pressure from other people allowing their kids or if I’m feeling like my oldest (10) is developmentally ready for a simple game. Ugh parenting is hard. lol
No screens before lunch ever.
I allow tv ( Netflix, right now media) between 4-6
Weekends 2 hours of tablet ( video games) 3 kids under 10
We limit screens to an hour a day, but that’s only after school and chores are completed. Most days, they skip screen time, though, to go outside, play with friends, or work on a project. It definitely gets easier when they just get used to doing other things that are more meaningful. 💗
Love this video Ashlee! I don't think it was asked below, but what do you do if trust is broken? Are your kids allowed to use their devices alone in their rooms or just in family areas?
That's always been my philosophy as well, it's more the use of certain devices that are usually bad, not so much the device. I grew up with a Mennonite background that thinks cell phones, tvs etc are such a great sin (n of course it can be) but we always had a TV growing up n my personal experience, it educated me in alot of positive ways. The terrible shows out there, very corrupt but it has made me more cautious about alot of my life decisions. Seeing the destruction of those ppl's ungodly lives made me really try to avoid that . Kinda of like a what not to do (If that makes sense) of course some ppl are more easily influenced in a negative than others which is why I guess it's good n bad🤷🏻♀️
What are your guidelines on their phones for texting, etc.? Are they only available on Fridays with the other screen time?
I wish that I could be this strict with my teens screen time. But my 16 year old has a job, is a pilot and drives a state away once a week to the airport to fly, and is an officer in the Civil Air Patrol. My 15 year old works two jobs and works almost 30 hours a week. We're busy, to say the least. LOL. So, they use their phones pretty often. That said, during school hours, they are not allowed to have their phones at all. And at night, they get put in my room. Because of the frequency that they have their phones, they can sometimes be an issue. But we also aren't willing to give up any of the things I mentioned above. So, we deal with the hard stuff. LOL. But sometimes I wish we could simplify! If we did, my rules would ALLLL match yours! Many of them are the same though. :)
Great video and encouragement for my own parenting decisions. My question would be how does your screen time policy change when out of school (for summer, on vacation weeks, etc.)? What do those times look like? I feel like it’s easier during a typical school week because routines drive our days but then outside of a school week, things get tricky. What do you do?
We tend to relax a bit during those times just because we have more time left over in our days. But it’s still limited and we still make sure they’ve done everything else (chores, read, creative something, gone outside) before we consider it.
Regarding letting your kids use the iphones to communicate with friends and family, do you allow them that privilege all week or only on Friday afternoons. We just moved to Costa Rica last year and so our 6 year old doesn’t have a lot of English speaking friends nearby. She likes to video chat with her best friend in the States and Grandma and Grandpa. But I find that she is always asking, “can I call so an so?” Like all the time. Any suggestions?
I didn’t know you could use the same Apple ID for multiple devices!?! That’s good to know because we are thinking of getting our son an iPhone.
I wish my parents had more restrictions on devices. I grew up in the early 90s and had A LOT of play/outside time during my early years but once in high school we had phones without limits or if there were, nothing was enforced. Technology was newer in general but just like tv, children/teens need guidance.
I'm curious if you've got a plan as far as when the child reaches closer to 18 with social media? Currently, our kids don't have social media either, but I do feel like as my son gets closer to 18, not there yet... My husband and I are going to have to slowly allow him on social media to monitor it before he is 18 and paying for his own stuff and feels he can have whatever social media he wants. I don't want him to go wild in that sense on social media. Hopefully, that makes sense, I've gone back and forth on what to do as he nears that.
Do you have a security program for the internet to help keep bad websites from popping up?
1000% on Social Media topic. My kids will never have it until they buy their own smart phone as an adult. I do show my 13 year old funny videos on MY ig to connect with his humorous personality and it has been a great opportunity to talk to him about internet responsibility and guarding our eyes. I save the videos I see and show him individually instead of scroll with him.
You can give your kids their own apple id’s and you can have full control over it with your own apple id. Apple created features where you can literally set parental controls over their devices from your own device like what apps are allowed and how long, the ability to download apps or not, how much screen time access is allowed and even specific settings for safari. If my son wants to download something when screen time is allowed, it sends a request from his phone or ipad to ours asking us for permission and we would then have to enter a specific parent password from our device to okay it. It also does the same if he requests more screen time minutes or permission to use a certain app etc. We also have the same thing enabled on the Nintendo Switch. Absolutely love this video by the way, we’re on the same page in our house as well. P.S. These features are all linked to their apple id as a child account so even if they get a new device if their phone breaks or something, the settings stay the same until you change it. You can literally see everything they’re doing or what they’ve been looking at from your own device.
That’s true until they turn 13, then if you need to call or access it from their support the child must “consent”
Do you have parental controls for them accessing the internet on the iPhone? Also the ability to see their search history, etc? I'm an android user, so not sure how the iPhone works
Yes all my information is used to access their accounts: so any browsing history is under mine as well.
Hi Ashley, Thanks for this video. When your kids have their iphones are they allowed to search the internet at will? I’d love to know more about how you manage internet access.
You can use “Screentime” to decide what apps they have access to. My kids only have access to the weather, news, maps, and can only text friends during certain hours.
So curious that I understand correctly, you only alloe 1 hr(ish) of video games/games Friday afternoon or on the weekend as well (or just screens like tv)? If you do allow video games/games on weekend is there a time limit or do they much more freedom(with permission) in terms of how long they are allowed to play?
Yes an hour “ish” Friday afternoons. Family movie time on the weekends and sometimes an hour or so additional throughout the weekend. It’s not set in stone but more of a general idea of the screen allowance we have.
My kids are still all under 9 years old, so this is just a curiosity question as I contemplate future rules, etc. Do you have limits/rules around being on their phones/texting/etc (besides needing to ask permission)? One thing I hear often is that once their kid got a phone, they were constantly on it - even if it was “more harmless” (just texting, etc.). Have you seen this as a struggle with your teenagers and if so, do you have any tips for limiting the amount of time spent on their phones? Thank you for all you share!
When kiddos use the computer, I cast it onto the living room television. I can see everything they are doing, even if the oldest is doing their work in the office. The computers are monitored, so we can see every click and what is opened/closed, and there is a browser lock on there as well. Glad I'm not the only one that doesn't have television in their kid's rooms. I didn't have one growing up, but did have a boombox. So they have an older model that they can play cds or tapes. I was once told that my kids would be lonely without social media, that really took me by surprise. It's just not something that is worth having. To each their own and everyone does what they see is best for their family. Thank you for talking about screen time and for the updates. Hope all is well!
👍🏼❤️
Super off topic but do u have any recommendations of a good "clean" deodorant for pre-teen girls??
Native!
What math does your 7th grader use? I’m sad TGTB does not have anything after 5th… I’m torn between Saxon and Teaching Textbooks.
They have math 6. Then we move to shormann math
I watched this video as my kids ate lunch and they were impressed to hear you take away Friday game time too 😂
Hahah solidarity!
We have no screen time besides friday afternoon for an hour to watch cartoon or whatever. But it seems harder and harder to control that when visiting friends , and they turn tv on so all the kids can calm down. Do you experience that? How do you reinforce your house rules. When your kids are at other peoples home?
"If I bought it, it's mine." No. Just no. I can see monitoring it, I completely understand, but if you gave it to them, it's theirs. Monitoring is fine, but saying it doesn't belong to them is something I absolutely disagree with.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As I’m sure you can imagine I disagree with your stance. That’s the beauty of life we all get a choice in how we raise our kids. 🤎
Yass so many parents don’t monitor their kids big problems!
We bought a Nintendo switch this year for our boys. It is definitely the thing that we use as a "take away" for poor behavior/chores/school.
What you tube videos does your daughter watch. You said she sometimes wants to watch them. I have wholesome shows for my son... But not my daughter yet...
Where does night of the zoo keeper fit into this?
I said in the video I do not count school time as screen time. My daughter enjoys moriah Elizabeth, and dude perfect on CZcams.