Am I Really Transgender? FTM Self Doubt
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- čas přidán 10. 11. 2017
- Hey everyone. I wanted to open up and discuss a really important topic and that is self doubt. Figuring out my gender has been a difficult and very scary process for me. I share more about my experience here.
it's currently 1 am and i'm crying of happiness knowing that this isn't something different or strange it's something others experience thank you so much i really need this
Of course. Thanks for watching. If you want to chat feel free to reach out to me. :)
Forever I have searched for someone who can tell me that you don't NEED bad dysphoria, to be trans, this video bro. Man, it's the reassurance I needed. So much damn doubt bro.
Glad it helped!
I think this is the first time I've listened to a video where the individual has been able to vocalize my own concerns and fears. It's almost uncanny how exact these words are to my own thoughts and insecurities. The only difference being I am short and curvy, not tall and thinner, so passing as a guy isn't really something I can do without a bit of effort. I'm very glad to have found this. I don't feel so isolated in my thoughts and concerns anymore. :)
Glad you enjoyed it. If you want to talk more I would be happy to do so. 😀
so many negative comments :( ur doing great keep being u
Haters gonna hate. I'm nearly 3 months on t and I couldn't be happier. :D
*this is exactly me. like no joke. i relate so hard to this; i’m an over thinker who has mental breakdowns every single day about whether or not i’m ftm. everything you said i pretty much related to. thank you*
Don't be too hard on yourself. I think to a certain degree this is normal.
Thank you for this video! I don't think one has to be suicidal or unable to live in their current body to be a Trans man. Not everyone has access to hormones and surgery in every country and not everyone is killing themselves. We are lucky in North America (other countries too) to have potential access to these things. People learn to cope and go on with what they have. I'm not ready for T and surgery. Does that make me less Trans? I don't think so but I'm sure some FTM men would disagree.
I think the pressure to prove ourselves to the non Transgender world that what we feel about our gender is real can lead people feeling unable to voice their self doubt even when it's there.
This really helped me, I started testosterone recently and I was worried that I started too soon because I’ve only been out for about a year. Like I know I’m trans because of multiple reasons, I don’t feel like a girl and I don’t wanna be one or ever have to live as one again but I get so worried because I have intrusive thoughts and They tell me I’m not trans enough, and it keeps me up at night. Ik this comment was all over the place but I just needed to get it off of my chest.
I think doubt is totally normal. If you didn't doubt you wouldn't be thinking through things enough.
Hey :) thx so much for your video, it's so f*ing helpful to see other trans guys doubting as well, and how they deal with it. In this viedo you said you'll never be sure and that you'll need to be on T to be sure, how did that worked for you? I've watched some of your T updates videos and I didn't see anything about that, like you going back on your doubts. Did you had those doubts again since you are on T? I'm asking cause I had the same doubts and started T and then I stopped after 4 months cause I started having doubts again and I was scared as f*ck and I was still afraid of when things would shift and I would be perceived as a guy 100% of the time... So I just thought it was wiser to take a break... Now I want to go back on T but I kinda want to be really sure this time...
I can't say I've experienced much doubt since I started t, but I'm only 9 months in so I'm not sure what will happen. I think it's ok to question and stop if you need to. I'm not sure if it's unhealthy to start and stop too many times, but I think it's best to do what makes you happy and comfortable.
I needed this so much, thank you. I hope your gender journey is going well 😊
I hit one year on t recently so it is! Thank you!
This helped me so much. Thank you :)
You're welcome. :D
thank you SO much for this. this has been keeping me up at night, i relate to so much of this! i do have a fairly big chest (i just mean it's not small) and i feel uncomfortable about it and i do want to get rid of them, the thing that has me doubting is am i just uncomfortable with people giving me attention about them, but i do feel like a guy and not a girl. The other thing is my name, my legal name is gender neutral, and it commonly known for guys but i don't like it, bc i know people see me as a girl and the name for me. i can't pick a name, i'm really struggling :( but thank you for this, it's really helped
You're welcome. All I can say is don't be afraid to give it time. There is no rush and the answer will be clear over time. It's also ok to start transition and change your mind. Only you will know what is right for you.
That's really nice, your video is important, i feel a lot of confusion often and as you said, sometimes it seems like every other trans person has everything sorted out so knowing that doubts are not uncommon is so relieving. Thank you, really.
You're welcome. I think doubts are normal in many aspects of our lives.
i’m pretty sure i have little dysphoria about my body bc i also am tall and thin and have a small chest but also have an adam’s apple. that worried me i’m glad someone else feels the same
Yeah everyone's dysphoria is different. Doesn't mean you are more or less trans.
Thank you so, so much for this video. I can relate so much, almost completely to what you said. Doubt and confusion has been killing me but you're right, it's normal. You don't need to feel suicidal in order to be trans. And I think a lot of feminine behaviour origins in the way trans guys were brought up, as females. They're supposed to act like a girl, befriend other girls etc. Just like people assigned male at birth are expected to behave rougher and louder. Anyway, thank you again so much for this video. It really helped me
You're welcome. Feel free to reach out anytime.
THANK YOU for this video!!
Tomorrow is my first (gender) therapist appointment to help figure myself out. I have been feeling very much like an imposter and thought about whether or not I actually need that.
Your video helped me so much not feel alone with my self doubts.
I do need it. I had those thoughts for years!
Lots of love
You're welcome! Good luck on your journey!
Take your time .
Don't rush .
.
thank you so much for this video!!
You're welcome. Thanks so much for watching it.
Thanks for this video! I can relate to your thoughts.
I'm for 4 months now living completely as a guy (That means I'm out in school, use men restroom and go to boy PE) and I think it's okay. Like, I can't enjoy it like I'd like to but I think it was the right decision to make since I was so unhappy with my old name and pronouns. But I'm still really confused. Sometimes I feel male, often I feel very girly and it drives me crazy. It's not like that I do girly things or something like that but I just have in my mind that I have still long hair and stuff. It's really exhausting and quite terrible. I don't know if it's a sign or something.
I really want to take hormones. I really feel weird when somebody calls me by male pronouns or name and my voice is like ... way too high. Or in PE when everyone has more body hair than me haha (And muscles but that is something I can change now). But I have the same problem that you addressed in the end of the video. I don't know if it's really the right thing.
But well, I'm fighting and I will be fighting! I really hope I may live as I want.
I think it's definitely ok to be confused. You don't have to have it figured out right away. It is possible that maybe you are non binary or gender fluid? You may also just need time to figure it out and I wouldn't rush into any decision making. It sounds like you are still in school so I would definitely take time. It's not a race to transition. If you want to chat more I'm always happy to. My instagram is @flash.88
@@aflashin-time2260 Yeah, I thought about NB but I don't think I'm comfortable to be out as that. I want to be treated like every other guy and not like something different. Also gender fluid could be but I have to admit that I hope that the changing between male and female is because I'm confused and stuff because I don't know if I could handle having two genders switching. It's just exhausting.
And like you said, I will take my time til I make any life changing decisions. I still have to find myself and it's totally okay if that takes time.
By the way I asked to follow you per IG, my name is sheer heart attack there.
Omg i'm soooo happy i watched this video because i'm really struggleing with myself. I really want to be a guy but i weard dresses, practiced ballet etc. But thought of being a women makes me cry. I don't want to! I feel grosed out. Thats just not me..
I just think that i think to much. And I should do whatever feels right
Yes. Gender is definitely a spectrum, but clothes also don't define gender. Do what makes you happy, but it's definitely a process figuring all of it out and no rush. Thanks for watching.
Meanwhile I'm over here wondering self doubts cos I've always heard about other trsns guys that have known that something was wrong sense five years old. Maybe not exactly trans but they knew something was wrong. I didn't realize something was wrong until two years ago. I dropped it cos my mom said it was a phase and I didn't feel like arguing so I dropped it but now I stsrted questioning again October 2019. Started socially transitioning in Janurary 2020. It's been good so far but self doubts still creep up on me.
ALSO:I didn't start having any type of dysphoria until last October 2019. And It's not even bad dysphroia which also makes me self doubt.
I think self doubt is normal even a few years into the process. Just don't rush anything.
It is unfortunate that people get caught up in a over-medicalized perspective on trans identity. You do not have to desire to, or seek medically affirming care to be trans. Not all people have access to those things, not everyone can medically handle hormones, surgeries, etc. Also, this medicalized perspective promotes the narrative that we all hate our bodies and need to modify ourselves to apear more cis. I don’t feel a connection to my body (agender/nonbinary), but I'm happily trans and won't seek any medial interventions. You are trans if you do not ID as what’s on your birth certificate, period. Social dysphoria is just as valid as physical dysphoria. There is nothing wrong with being trans and accepting your body or just not trusting or thinking it is worth entering the health care system. Trans is who you are, not what you do to your body. It's absolutley valid to seek medical treatments if you do need them, but again thats not what makes you trans. Stay authentic yall, don't bend to cis expectations of how we should be ourselves.
Are you saying I got caught up in it? I knew I didn't need to medically transition, which is why I waited for so long to do that. I am 100% happy with moving forward with medical transition, but I realize it's not for everyone.
this is exactly what im going through rn, i'm a huge overthinker
Just know that is normal and it's ok.
A ton of doubt for me comes from I was super girly before....and im I have rogd i think so I'm just really scared and feeling invalid. Though I still definitely feel trans...well mostly? Can anyone relate 😔
I would say it's not a rush. Take the time to feel sure if you need to, but I don't think anyone can ever be 100% sure. You're allowed to be femme and a man.
same whenever looking on my past girly self or the fact i used to sorta like my chest/tolerated it makes me doubt my current dysphoria.
How old was you at the time of starting on T? How do you feel about your transition now after the self doubt? Do you feel happy with the decision you've made.
I actually made a follow up video recently if you check out my page. I was 29 when I started T. I feel very happy with my decision. I have not had regrets. I still think it's normal and healthy to doubt.
I’ve always secretly wanted to be a guy but I believed that was normal. I had thoughts as early as nine that I wanted a deep voice and kinda wanted to be a guy and wanted a flat chest but I didn’t know that was possible and got a bit sad about it. I also used to cover my ears and scream everytime I heard my own voice on videos my mom had recorded. When I talk to new people, I get a bit uncomfortable cause I really wanna pass as a guy but I’m still not sure if I should start T in the future. Is there anyone out there who can relate?
I think it's hard to know for sure. There is no checklist for knowing whether you're trans or not. Just keep exploring at your own pace and you'll find the answer comes naturally.
You don't need body dysphoria to be trans and you don't have to be suicidal or super uncomfortable in your body! people forget about gender euphoria, if changing yourself to align more with your gender makes you feel amazingly awesome even if you could have technically survive without it then that is enough!!!!
Thank you. I agree.
anyways! you need dysphoria to be trans! if not! when you transition! you will feel uncomfy! and possibly suicidal!
You need Dysphoria to be trans. If you don't feel comfortable with your birth Gender then you're cis. Stop that.
You do need dysphoria
i relate :
It's a tough position. Reach out to me if you ever need anyone to talk to.
I know this was posted like 3 yrs ago but im still gonna say this: my personal opinion is that you need dysphoria to be trans, not necessary have the diagnosis but still have dysphoria, cus in order to think youre trans or being trans you feel some kind of discomfort in your current gender, or having euphoria being more masculine/ feminine, right? I mean, if you feel discomfort in any form or amount about you gender and being your current gender, that is dysphoria. Even if its just feeling uncomfortable with being called she and you would feel better being called another pronoun. And if you just feel euphoric about being seen as the opposite/ another gender, then thats grounded in dysphoria in some way. Like imagine you feel just okay being called a boy your whole life and never thought anything bout that, then one day you put on a dress and see yourself as a woman, and you love it. So by the day you get more and more uncomfortable being called a boy and a man. Thats valid too! But if you just wake up one day and say “hm, i think im trans.” From nowhere, i personally dont think youre rlly trans. Mostly it gotta come from a thought or something like “what if i were a boy..?” And then the thought grow. Ofc, in some cases people just hear the word “transgender” and they instantly knew that was them and stuff, but i dont think thats the majority.
Yeah. I am just not going to give criteria for being trans. The only person who can know is themself.
I’m having serious doubts that I’m trans even though I know I know I am idk what to do
I would suggest giving it time. Maybe write down your thoughts in a diary and see how you feel. There is no rush to know the answer right now. Hope that helps.
aFLASHin-time thank you I will try that
Hi, I'm footage researcher and I work for a french production, we're interested in your video and we would like to contact you. How I can send you an email please ? Thank you in advance for your answer. Best regards,
Send me your email.