Preventing Divorce: Top 3 Life Hacks for Singles | George Blair-West | TEDxBrisbane

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  • čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
  • Psychiatrist Dr George Blair-West has a bold and empowering message about choosing a life partner and avoiding divorce: it can be hacked. Forget romantic destiny. When it comes to the all-important decision of selecting someone to share your life with - and the lives of your potential children - a romantic, loving heart must be met with an informed and thoughtful mind.​ Dr George Blair-West is an author, researcher and psychiatrist. He sub-specialises in trauma and relationship/sex therapy.
    In the 1990s, his peer-reviewed research papers literally rewrote the textbooks on suicide and depression. He then turned his focus to the overlooked research into the psychological forces that prevent weight loss. The bestselling Weight Loss for Food Lovers: Understanding our minds and why we sabotage our weight loss and related research papers led to media & speaking appearances around the world. In 2010 he was named one of the top 20 most influential obesity experts in the world.
    His inspirational novel, The Way of The Quest, was a ‘how to’ of finding one’s meaning and purpose in life and went on to receive three international awards. But it is helping people make sense of relationships that he sees as his most important work. He is currently writing his fourth book, How to Make the Most Important Decision of Your Life, with his dating coach daughter. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 99

  • @pezpeculiar9557
    @pezpeculiar9557 Před 6 lety +25

    TL;DR if you're in a rush:
    1. Wait to grow older
    2. Be influencable
    3. Be reliable and have your partner's back

    • @natnat5082
      @natnat5082 Před 2 lety +1

      Wasn't it, choose a partner who is influenceable? Make sure you both have equal power in decisions.

  • @JoRoderick
    @JoRoderick Před 6 lety +84

    Fantastic video and information. The divorce rate would be very low if men and women married the right partners. That can only happen through self awareness. Most people don't actually know what brings them happiness. They are expecting others to *_make_* them happy.

    • @genevahnicole
      @genevahnicole Před 6 lety +2

      that is so true

    • @user-rq3sw4fh1s
      @user-rq3sw4fh1s Před 6 lety +1

      Yeah I totally agree

    • @JoRoderick
      @JoRoderick Před 6 lety +3

      @Azima Akbarova. For some people, it seems like they only learn these things too late. :)

    • @fiorenzalifonti6714
      @fiorenzalifonti6714 Před 6 lety

      Cheers for the video content! Sorry for chiming in, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (just google it)? It is an awesome exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the normal expense. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my buddy after a lifetime of fighting got great success with it.

  • @elenakusevska6266
    @elenakusevska6266 Před 6 lety +16

    Totally agree about the second point. I've always had the feeling that it is very hard to maintain a healthy relationship with a man that you can't convince about anything.

    • @FromFame
      @FromFame Před 5 lety

      Elena Kusevska I’ve had the same experience with women

  • @debrag8372
    @debrag8372 Před 6 lety +7

    Reliability, he hit the nail on the head.

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You. Před 6 lety +4

    Tinder guys dont know what it means to protect and stand by by someone

  • @RebeccaWhite30
    @RebeccaWhite30 Před 6 lety +15

    Divorce wasn’t as prevalent because the laws didn’t protect women. Women stayed in abusive marriages because they couldn’t afford to leave. Regan changed that in California first.

    • @Aaron565
      @Aaron565 Před 6 lety +1

      because that accounts for the rate of change. or the majority of relationships are abusive by your standards. Clearly your opinions are not backed by stats or proportional reasoning.

    • @fraydizs7302
      @fraydizs7302 Před 6 lety

      RebeccaWhite30 now it's the exact opposite, and men aren't protected In marital situations. Interesting twist...

  • @RealistNo1
    @RealistNo1 Před 6 lety +1

    It seems I've been carrying this entire marriage, which is WHY I am suffering from illness now, I think. I have never had that supportive issue from my partner. It's something I've accepted as a weakness he's suffered due to childhood issue. But it's affected me so long, I am thinking about what Dr. Blair-West says about leaving for my health/age's sake.

  • @statusqueen8572
    @statusqueen8572 Před 6 lety +18

    Marriage is not a problem...😋
    Marriage is a Priceless gift from God..👫

  • @elenakusevska6266
    @elenakusevska6266 Před 6 lety +20

    The entire talk is an argument for a lifestyle choice. There are benefits to marrying young and having children young too. It's just a statistic. People should make their lifestyle choices based on what they want at that moment in their life.

    • @Cathee45
      @Cathee45 Před 6 lety +5

      Yes. But for some decisions you have to think long-term (like having children). You may think you want them 'at that moment in your life' but you have to be sure that you will be happy with that choice forever.

  • @samipeixoto4779
    @samipeixoto4779 Před 6 lety +1

    Maybe we didn't had divorces back then. But, what to say about when one spouse (usually the man) just leave? This is something that happens till this day.
    I think he could have talked about a lot of things that couples could work on their relationships.
    And, I was a little upset when he said that we choose the man or woman to be the father or mother of our children. It's not the case to me, and I believe to many people this days, who do not want to have children.
    But I do agree with the tips that he gave. Maturity, one really knowing what he or she wants in life and relationships, having some experience, being open to compromise and ultimately being there for each other. It's about partnership, and what is best for both. Never to compete with one another. Always be gentle and thankful. I found this very helpful in my marriage. We had a hard start, but now, almost seven years later we're very happy and appreciative.

  • @abhishreetank2611
    @abhishreetank2611 Před rokem

    Thanks

  • @TheSepia1
    @TheSepia1 Před 6 lety

    Amazing Video!! It helped to change some of my views on marriage.

  • @bettyjoscookin3847
    @bettyjoscookin3847 Před 6 lety +2

    What he said matched what I did....

  • @TreasureByMeasure
    @TreasureByMeasure Před 6 lety +1

    Good info. Got me thinking

  • @tobiekokot5635
    @tobiekokot5635 Před 6 lety

    Great presentation and information. X

  • @alisonwinks6148
    @alisonwinks6148 Před 3 lety

    Great talk

  • @hissendaud653
    @hissendaud653 Před 6 lety

    Thanks for the Information

  • @AirElegant
    @AirElegant Před 6 lety +1

    Great advice.

  • @aa23aaa66
    @aa23aaa66 Před 3 lety +1

    espectacular.

  • @Erikazilla
    @Erikazilla Před 5 lety

    this is brilliant!

  • @meryrachelsolorzano9731

    Excellent!

  • @KarthickKarthick-zm2ow

    thank you sir.

  • @5even5eals
    @5even5eals Před 6 lety +6

    I thought 5 or 6 would be staying single.

    • @5even5eals
      @5even5eals Před 6 lety +1

      Both remained empty. At first I thought he was pumping up the drama, but he simply forgot about them.

  • @AlanClegg
    @AlanClegg Před 6 lety +3

    Just reading the title (at work and can't watch it yet) - "[...] Divorce [...] hacks for singles."
    I'm going to guess the answer is "don't get married".

  • @alipia561
    @alipia561 Před 3 lety

    Can influenceable also mean compromise?

  • @hoangkimviet8545
    @hoangkimviet8545 Před 6 lety +26

    Marriage is a problem, divorce is a bigger problem :-0

    • @JoRoderick
      @JoRoderick Před 6 lety

      Divorce is sometimes the solution to a bad marriage, but it costs a lot more. 😀

    • @freemusic7421
      @freemusic7421 Před 6 lety

      Hoang Kim Viet Appreciate Video! Apologies for the intrusion, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (do a google search)? It is a great one of a kind guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my work buddy at last got great success with it.

  • @Assoumy87
    @Assoumy87 Před 6 lety

    Brilliant 🙏❤

  • @irreplacableable
    @irreplacableable Před 6 lety

    Superb stats ....

  • @AllatonceIvan
    @AllatonceIvan Před 6 lety +2

    Liked

  • @fieryelf
    @fieryelf Před 6 lety +2

    I guess as someone who's never and probably never will be in a relationship, I should be glad I'll never have to suffer through a heart break.

    • @nishisaxena4831
      @nishisaxena4831 Před 6 lety +1

      fieryelf which means you have never experienced love and I would say you are extremely unlucky !!! Loving someone makes us vulnerable but it's one of the most amazing feeling ~~~ and being loved my someone whom you love, you should experience it once in your life !!! Life is meaningless without love ...

    • @christophepeto9867
      @christophepeto9867 Před 3 lety +1

      Never say never ! :p

  • @melike8888
    @melike8888 Před 6 lety

    Lütfen Türkçe altyazı olsun 🙏

  • @yourbrandstrategist9735
    @yourbrandstrategist9735 Před 6 lety +19

    Marriage is the very first cause of divorce. I made a t-shirt about that.

    • @margobellamy6447
      @margobellamy6447 Před 6 lety +2

      Sense of humor is very important, and seeing a psychologist to learn about your failed marriages is what we did before my husband and I married for 21 years.

    • @yourbrandstrategist9735
      @yourbrandstrategist9735 Před 6 lety

      Margo Bellamy Yes, it is. And that’s how I’m saving myself from this all... I’d rather have someone chosing everyday to stay with me.

    • @MetaphysicalMike
      @MetaphysicalMike Před 6 lety

      Your Brand Strategist
      Do you have them available online
      would love to support your dreams:)

  • @sagdaosama4064
    @sagdaosama4064 Před 3 lety

    ممكن يتم الترجمه بالعربي بليييييز

  • @khushalkhaitan5113
    @khushalkhaitan5113 Před 6 lety

    Nice Video

  • @stewardnyanchoka8344
    @stewardnyanchoka8344 Před 6 lety

    I discovered this video on Secret Fixer Blueprint - there are lots awesome videos there that should help you

  • @livefreeordietrying5865
    @livefreeordietrying5865 Před 6 lety +1

    Don’t depend on someone else for your happiness

  • @Abyssalfrequencies
    @Abyssalfrequencies Před 6 lety

    Merciiiiii, this is amazing

  • @Diamandinae
    @Diamandinae Před 6 lety +2

    Separated from Husband then he dies, Dad dies and no money to help me in the past year, about to lose my home sad!!! Still in shock!!

  • @colorfuldays921
    @colorfuldays921 Před 6 lety +2

    This guy sounds like my lecture...very interesting subject but the voice makes me sleepy 😴

    • @pezpeculiar9557
      @pezpeculiar9557 Před 6 lety

      That's how more TedTalks usually are. You have to be interested about the subject to want to listen to it. Not all information is spoonfed, so you kind of just have to deal with it.

    • @colorfuldays921
      @colorfuldays921 Před 6 lety

      pezpeculiar Sweetheart, I already know that since I watch Ted talks every day and just because his voice makes me sleepy, does not mean the subject is or was uninteresting. So! Read, digest and think before replying. Thanks though, you tried ;)

    • @pezpeculiar9557
      @pezpeculiar9557 Před 6 lety

      Alrighty, ma'am. Have a nice decade.

    • @colorfuldays921
      @colorfuldays921 Před 6 lety

      pezpeculiar hahaha Thanks

  • @cida8838
    @cida8838 Před 6 lety

    Tem tradução

  • @walter_the_danger
    @walter_the_danger Před 6 lety +5

    Preventing divorce: don't get married

  • @kemo5120
    @kemo5120 Před 6 lety

    CEO of a charity cause this shht literally killed me...

  • @livefreeordietrying5865

    Just don’t

  • @neslihanbaysall
    @neslihanbaysall Před 6 lety +2

    Turkishhh😠😬😒😲😳i dont understandddd

    • @uybabayun
      @uybabayun Před 6 lety

      Beyini iyi seç, bir de geç yaşta evlen demiş.

  • @hourkurda9644
    @hourkurda9644 Před 6 lety

    The good way to keep partners ' relationship are
    1)man/woman must choose a good partener by studying all factors (comportement education etc.)
    2)he/her must be faithful and not envying from others men/women
    3) she must obey him and he must respect him, if you have any problems you would try together to solve them.
    In this case you could love each other and be happy but if you make your choice because this girl is beautiful or this guys is handsome romantic etc your relationship never be strong

    • @nishisaxena4831
      @nishisaxena4831 Před 6 lety +1

      Most people love based only on outer looks ... that's so sad

    • @hourkurda9644
      @hourkurda9644 Před 6 lety

      Bary why you're seeming astounded ?this is just a name

  • @livefreeordietrying5865

    Under 30 you embrace over you’re too stubborn

  • @schillermartin371
    @schillermartin371 Před 6 lety

    dont married simple :)

  • @RemusKingOfRome
    @RemusKingOfRome Před 6 lety

    45 % of woman decided to line their pockets and get rid of their boring partner.

  • @collectedworks4746
    @collectedworks4746 Před 6 lety

    In Islam you can get your solutions. Your statistics are from America alone. It seems that the speaker likes to break rules and with that mind set he is giving advice to other people.

  • @collectedworks4746
    @collectedworks4746 Před 6 lety +8

    Worst TED talk I have ever seen.

    • @Pavel7918
      @Pavel7918 Před 6 lety +1

      Collected Works Explain why.

    • @collectedworks4746
      @collectedworks4746 Před 6 lety

      Tyler Jones Because he is using violence to solve problems.

    • @Pavel7918
      @Pavel7918 Před 6 lety +1

      Collected Works I did not see that part, could you point it out for me?

    • @collectedworks4746
      @collectedworks4746 Před 6 lety

      To him, Homosexuality is OK, Having affairs outside marriage is OK, Marriage after 30 years old is the best !!! If you all marry after 30, the man power of your country will decrease more and your country's development will be less. You will not able to retire early for your small children/child. You will have to stay with a headache in your old age. HIV is the creation of Homosexuality. And outside marriage affairs cause many many problems in the society.

    • @collectedworks4746
      @collectedworks4746 Před 6 lety

      What will people do at the crucial time of their puberty to 30? Adultery?