How To Date After College ft. Arden Cho+Paul Kim - "IT'S...COMPLICATED" Ep. 8
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- čas přidán 23. 01. 2014
- Why Is Dating In Your 20's+30's...Complicated?
Bonus Content! Bonus Question: • Video
Previous Ep w/ FrmHeadToToe+Wes: • Dealing with Parents! ...
WATCH MORE IT'S...COMPLICATED
BONUS*** How To Date After College ft. Arden Cho+Paul Kim
• Video
Ep. 7 Families + Dating ft. Wes Chan+FrmHeadToToe
• Dealing with Parents! ...
Ep. 6 How to Flirt (Girls Edition) Ft. Yuri Tag + Ellen Kim
• How to Flirt (Ladies E...
Ep. 5 Long Distance Relationships w/ Wendy's Lookbook and AJ Rafael
• Long Distance Relation...
Ep. 4 How to Flirt (Guys Edition) Ft. Far East Movement:
• How to Flirt (Guys Edi...
Ep. 3 Breaking Up w/ Lana McKissack + Justin James Hughes
• Breaking Up is Hard to...
Ep. 2 Friend Zone w/ Geo and Bart (Just Kidding Films)
• The Friend Zone ft. Ba...
Ep. 1 Dating Advice w/ Chris Dinh+Christine Chen:
• Dating Advice - "IT'S....
STARRING:
Philip Wang | / wongfuproductions
Cathy Nguyen | / lilcdawg
SUPPORT ARDEN+PAUL:
Arden Cho | / ardenbcho
Paul Kim | / paulkimmusic
PRODUCED: Dan Matthews | Wong Fu Productions
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: Denkym
EDITED: Christian Soriano
CAMERA OPERATOR: Denkym, Christian Soriano
GRAPHICS: Lillian Woo | lillianwoo.com
MOTION GRAPHICS: Jason Tenandar
SPECIAL THANKS: Krin Mamanee, Diana Tran, Alfie The Office Dog, Transparent Agency, Sekina Ngo, Christian Soriano, Cheryl Shieh
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Thanks for having me on! Had a blast!
This is helpful because I currently attend a university where it is 91% male; can't wait to finally get into the real world and actually date.
.... what college?????
Im a girl and i completely relate to this. my school is 70% female, 30% male and half the male population is gay so i can't wait to get into the real world and meet more guys.
beverly693 probs some IT or engineer.
Lil H Nope :)
Was playing league of legends with some friends from high school. Was bot lane with this girl who went to same high school as me but never met her b4. Decided to meet up and been together since then. almost 3 years.
Just be yourself and do your own thing and the right person will show up.
Actually a lot of people who meet in college end up getting married statistically. High school is definitely a different story though.
Thumbs up if you want David so on this show!
Great conversation!
I have never dated. Between volunteering, education, extracurricular studies, and projects; getting involved with someone is not a priority. Moreover, many people have used or betrayed me, so I see much more value in working hard toward building my future and helping others than gambling time on someone who may or may not be for real. I'm not going to force a relationship or friendship; I'm just being patient. Part of that is that I don't NEED someone; I have found wholeness in Jesus Christ.
You have to step back and look at what a relationship realistically means. I have seen several people rush into marriage over fantaciful expectations, only to be extremely disappointed.
God Arden is absolutely gorgeous. We're talking like if-she-were-born-in-the-1300's-and-everyone-would-be-like-damnnnnnn-girl gorgeous.
She's gorgeous..but what's with the 1300's? :/
Or did you mean 1900's? That world make do much more sense
YTFlove4ever I think they're trying to say that even in those times (old times), everyone would be falling head over heels for her.
Because now-a-days, girls who aren't that good looking without makeup (ie. coverup/foundation/falsies/blush) can correct it all & look "hot".
I don't get why 1900 would make more sense lol
+iBeFloe i have no clue because i commented on this sooo long ago..more than a year ago i guess
YTFlove4ever OOoooh. I didn't look at how old the comments were lol
#ryden
Lol this is how it's been for me and how it will probably go.
Missed opportunity at high school. Crap.
Missed opportunity in college. Crap.
Co-workers at work too old for me. Crap.
Clubs and bars? No way.
-Last Resort- Parents setting up arranged marriage partner. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~
lol
That sounds like me.
Jay N this is essentially what I was just about to type lmaooo
Wait til you become senior citizen plenty left to choose from!
Jason Tran y
Do not give up college graduates ! their is hope outside of college! some people tend to meet people in places they gather where they have in common: job work place or field, out side activities concerts, clubs, churches, or just commonly openly dating or people fixing people up together to go on dates. I graduated last year and I interned for a while in a medical field and I heard from many people they meet and married from college that was the general, but then honestly the other half people meet their significant others in places that they happen to frequent often. It is harder the person looking for a relationship honestly have to be more proactive.
Enjoy every stage of life for the great things it brings. Being single is awesome. Being married is awesome. Being a couple without kids is awesome. Being parents is awesome. But if you spend your energy looking ahead to the next stage of life and wishing you were already there, you miss out on some of the great things in the current stage you are in. Just focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be, everything else will fall in place.
Dating in high school is more like trophy love, just to show-off, be cool (to date the hottest guy/girl) or be "in". College, party partners. concerts, clubs, dinners dates and then break up after graduation. Post-college? nowadays, young people either go grad school, get a master's degree, get a title, obtain a professional license, travel (alone), or get an unplanned pregnancy which may or may not lead to marriage. It's rare that you would find true love these days. Everyone seems busy and unsure about life. At least that's what's happening to me. Everything I planned as a young child never happened..talking about a fairy tale happy ending regarding with love and relationships.
Thanks for the thoughts!
I completely agree with Arden when it comes to having a balanced relationship. Although being with your significant other is fun and maybe all that you want to do maintaining the relationship with your friends is extremely important.
This was a great episode! I realize the majority of your audience are high school/college age but I really hope you guys have more episodes directed toward a more mature audience (20+/young professionals)
You guys are awesome!
Finally. Something pertaining to me! It's difficult to meet someone especially when you move into a new city, not for school, but work...and all of your coworkers are married/double+ your age!
Generally saying, dating in high school is just monkey love. It's not really love. As a guy I can say that it's usually just our hormones and our peepees leading us to finding a girl that we can show affection to. But after high school, it's a way different playing field man. I don't know about after college (because I'm currently still in one). But from my short life experience, I can say that you will be with that someone special when you're ready. Not when you're horny.
A lot of youtubers I follow give dating advice aimed at high school/university students. Thanks for doing something for the post-university demographic ^^
Best episode yet!! :D
I'm totally agreed with the point, "let it come naturally & just be a person":)
I agree. One has to be proactive about it. Like a lot of things in life, one can't expect some opportunity to just fall into one's lap. One has to take a bit of action. Guard one's heart too though and don't settle for just anyone. Make oneself present in public locations is good, such as organizations, work, church, gyms/parks. :) Striking conversation!
there's always risks involved in everything, especially relationships because you don't know what the future has to offer and when it involves someone else, you really have to make the decisions that count. so don't ever force yourself or rush into anything. just take it as it comes and be certain you want to do what you want to do or be with someone before it happens.
The best is to never rush things. Don't go out everyday looking for 'the one', be open and live life. It's strange, but once you are happy with where you are in life and who you are, things will fall into place when you least expect it.
Arden's making it big! Thanks for the info guys :)
I graduated last spring with a doctorate and now just starting to look around, but it's difficult without having friends nearby. Definitely going out with friends is a good way to meet new people. I never really liked the online dating thing, but I know of people who are older than me that it worked out for them. Another way I noticed is some people I know that have people they can introduce me to.
has a college senior who's never dated at all in her life...i must honestly say this was a good talk/advice session
and to others who think bad of themselves for have never dated before, don't do that...just think of it as you're being careful in looking for a good guy/girl to go out with...i've seen the drama that my friends have gone through when dating and it's not that i'm trying to avoid it, it's just i'm trying to be more careful, for my own self and for the people around me who may be affected
Damn this video really hit home for me. I'm 28 and I'm sure this happens for people of all other races but I feel it's ESPECIALLY true about us Asians being pressured into settling down and starting a family. I can hardly talk to my own mom without her bringing up the whole,"when are you getting married" and the "where are my grandkids" routine.
I feel like I should be sitting on that couch having this conversation with yall, I relate so much.
Very helpful video
just let it happen and let love come to you, if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. If not, then continue to follow your goals and dreams, continue to be a better person for yourself.
Loving that Go For Broke apparel Paul is rocking.
Arden offered really good advice.
Dating in college/school is about being carefree, having fun and having someone to do fun things with to balance the stress of education etc. I think dating in your +20s is deeper. It's more about (or should be about) learning new things; about yourself, about the other person, adapting, discovering and teaching each other new things - sharing your interests with the other person and experiencing new things that allow you to grow together rather than someone to just solely occupy your free time and relieve stress.
If you're older and questioning why marriage doesn't seem to be on the table in your long-term relationship, sooner or later you have to have that 'where is this eventually going' conversation and lay it on the line, crazy scary and risky, yes. 7 years in a relationship building up to potential marriage is a long time to have it end but it's not longer than 10, 15 years of uncertainty to come to the same conclusion. If it's gonna end without marriage, better now than later. Don't think of it as wasted time, think of it as time and experience invested into the person you need to be for that one relationship that'll work out to a happy wholesome marriage and not one where one person is trying harder than the other.
Don't be discouraged or pressured by other people's happiness. Concentrate on discovering who you are and working on that and your passions. The right person will gravitate towards you if you're becoming the best version of yourself.
Best episode so far :)
I can definitely relate. And if I met you all in real life I think we could be friends. I'm 27 this year. The best advice I have is that in being single... it is nice to be able to get to know yourself and find out what your true opinions and ideas are apart from someone else. You can learn about what you love and hate. Relationships are great too.... but I don't have much experience. Is it sad to say that I too am just hoping it'll happen naturally !? It's definitely harder to meet people at this age. Everyone tells me to do online dating. But I'd rather not. I feel like if I am supposed to meet someone then I will.
Loved the Strangers, Again ref
Arden Cho, you are the most beautiful person I swear :)
Haha that Strangers Again reference!
Thanks Paul and Arden
In my opinion, it's harder to be in a relationship in college because the majority of the girls are in a relationship, married, or have a kid. Plus in college, you start to mature a lot more & you just don't want to date any girl, you tend to start finding your future wife.
I know exactly what Paul Kim is going through!!! I'm Filipino & I have several family members who are trying to get me to marry a girl that they know. Every time, I see them at family gatherings, the first question they ask is if I'm married. I say no, then they ask a follow up question asking if I have a girlfriend. I do feel pressured but I really want to find "the one" for myself. Just like Paul stated, I want it to happen naturally instead of forcing it.
I liked it and it was helpful. Thanks guys~
So true, graduated, got a job and disappeared into it. Now it's playing catch up.
Do an episode about online dating and dating Apps! Its very on trend and alot of people can relate
lmfao that strangers again reference!
There are lots of ways to meet people other than going to bars and clubs:
1. Get involved with a group where the members are likely to have some of the same interests. If you’re religious, go to church or volunteer with a religious organization. If you’re into fitness or sports, take a fitness class or join a sports-related club. etc.
2. Hang out with your friends or coworkers and meet their friends or coworkers. It could be at any event like going out to eat or a house party.
3. Meet people at work.
4. This might seem weird or unnecessary to younger people, but a lot of future married couples meet through online dating sites.
Hi guys! I just saw your video and i loved it!!! :) In response to the girl that dated her man for 7 years and not sure why he hasn't proposed.. I guess it also depends on their situation... I could kinda relate--I have been with my bf for almost 9 years now and we have talked about marriage for about 2 years. The reason why we aren't married yet is because we were waiting until he was done with professional school and wanted to save up enough money for the wedding. Weddings could be sooo costly! So my advice: be patient bc it'll happen since y'all have talked about it and also don't be discourage bc of all our friends and family getting married.
Ardennn what grocery store do you shop at?? SEE YOU IN THE VEGETABLE AISLE!
Being 30 and having 3 long term relationships (including 1 engagement) - PATIENCE is the key. You'd rather have someone come into your life out of the blue and just blow your mind at what an amazing person they are. Sometimes going out and "looking for a girl/boy" and not finding one may cause you to have negative feelings towards dating/relationships. Be yourself and continue to work hard in school/work/family and everyone has their "one"...sooner than later that special someone will come into your life and it will be much more special than what you were expecting :)
3 long term relationships...??
Haha, Cathy and Phil make a reference to Strangers Again, 8:03
i love everything you guys talked in this vid, esp what paul said being a good psn n it will come naturally :))
3:14 Daaang. Everyone keeps telling me that this is "normal" for people to dump their friends & focus on solely on their lover but hearing "younger people" makes me feel a little better because it implies that it won't always be like that :)
I think you guys should do a video on the topic in the Wong Fu vid "Friends vs. More Than Friends" because personally, I treat all of my friends that way, regardless of whether they're guy or girl. I'm 18 and I'm always doing favors and helping my friends. And it makes it difficult for girls that are interested because they want to feel like they're special to me. Which is difficult to top if you're naturally nice to everyone. So I basically have to be Mr. Perfect to make them feel special, even if they mean the world to me.
Paul Kim gots the Tiffany sb!!!!!! DAMN!!!
just a video filled with pretty! I enjoy watching this, even though I don't date (is that too much information?). It's interesting to listen to the views of people who do date.
I'm still so single, but I definitely feel less bad about it after watching this.
Let life go on until it happens!
Arden is adorable! She seems like one of the nicest people in the world. :D
Never take things for granted, count your blessings when you lose sigt of that.. You lose sight of whats important,
Arden is such a sweetheart
This positively about your date, don't think about things that MIGHT happen.
please make more of these >< it's been 7 months
It's hard to find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with nowadays because so many of them don't want to be in a committed relationship. I'm 26 and the youngest of 9. The only one that didn't get marry before 18 and the only one born in the US. I seriously think if I had gotten married to the guy I was with at that time, I would had been divorced already. A lot of pressure from everyone but I am not gonna let them get to me. I think marriage is too important and I don't want to rush. People can say whatever they want to say, but imma do me and wait for the right guy! (: Don't let others peer pressure you into marriage. Don't let the martial status fool you... be patient and live life to the fullest!!
This episode resonate so much with me. Thanks for the great advices. And Arden I feel you about the Facebook sometimes. Lol!
I feel like it's impossible to get out there. Online dating is starting to get more intriguing as the years go by but I can't mentally picture myself saying "i met my girlfriend online". The failure stigma would be too much.
Haha... I see what you did there with the Strangers, again reference, Cathy! :P
@ISAtv I definitely had those weird moments at the grocery store where dudes actually would engage me and hit on me....and the gym, maybe it is all the pheromones. I don't do the bar/club scene so that hope is lost. Love the channel btw
Thats soo true. Its hard meeting people after college and most of em are like married. In college you go do your duties and you meet people but after college you have to plan to go out so that you can meet new people. Haha. All you said in this video are true. I can so relate to everything. :)
I'm post college/uni and I'm like Cathy, don't go clubs or bar. I met my gf at church! Best place bc I already had some mature people I trusted there that checked her out and vice versa and of course I made my own decision but it was good to know I wasn't just "falling in love" with a "front" that some people can put up. :)
HAHAHA, I saw what Cathy & Phil did there @ 8:05. Strangers again. :)))
I think there should be one of these about tinder and grinder
I think the most important thing is surround yourself with people you could see as potential spouse. In addition, let love come to you! Don't go searching every day! (:
Very nice discussion. Relationship takes time to build and although only a few ones have made it through their college years, there is always a long way to go afterwards as life do change course sometimes. It is like the song : "Que Sera, Sera" - Whatever Will Be, Will Be. anyway...the right one might take time to appear for those who wait. *stop hiding please* :D
Ugh Arden is too adorable
Loved this episode ! Made me feel much better about being a single young lady... just gotta let it happen :) And not force it :O Thaaankks!
Epic!
Arden Cho is so pretty!!! *o*
Honestly, make sure you're happy with yourself before you get into a relationship with someone. It's impossible to be in a healthy and happy relationship if you're not even comfortable with yourself.
What's wonderful about relationships is that it helps you grow. You are a different person after two years, and either you keep growing or move on :)
LOVED THIS. I am in the same boat :D
my mom and dad are starting to ask me those questions too.....
I've been in a relationship for a year now and I'm 26. I do feel the pressure from society to be married with kids at this age but I don't feel like anyone should jump into it just because cultural standards tell you to do so. The fact of the matter is if you're not ready to do something then you won't be good at it. It's better to be nervous due to pressure than to have regret because you were pressured into something from everyone else.
On the college note, I'm still in college. I've been in for several and out for several for various reasons. I do agree that it isn't easy to meet people outside of an easy network, such as a school or a club, but I suppose if you were to go out to a park or a coffee show, just anywhere that makes you comfortable really, then you will have a good chance of meeting someone eventually.
never compare your relationship with others
Thanks for remembering that some of your fans have grown up with you and have grown up problems too!
best place, try the library
Arden! Gosh ur talks bring back memories of college…midwest chicks r awesome! :p btw, I'm forwarding this CZcams video to Wendy, Lisa and Steph!~ :)
watched the whole thing cause of arden!
I feel like it's definitely harder to meet people after college, especially those who have similar goals, ambitions, and etc. Hopefully I run into someone at the grocery store and just click. Who knows.
I remember when Arden Cho was that Taylor girl in 'Agents of Secret Stuff.'
Peep those tiffs
love arden so much :)
My advice is to just be yourself in a relationship, and to put the other first out of love, and it only works if both sides do it.
I want to see Arden and Paul more often. :)
I sense that Arden and Paul have something going on… I'm tingling!:)
I guess my own advice would be to not search for love and instead let it find you. Let a relationship bloom by itself since I do believe that healthy relationships come from being friends first; and when you're together you're truly happy.
Don't rush into dating, because the right one will come. :) If things are meant to be in will happen, and I truly believe that from personal experience.
Arden is so gorgeous
So ok.. I want to be with someone I enjoy my time with.but friends will also do. Dating isn't a necessity guys.. If you connect with someone, anyone, hang on it..doesnt mean you have to date them or marry them or anything. It's important to be with ppl who respect you and you respect, friends or family ir whoever it is. So just enjoy :)
This kinda eased my mind, thanks for the episode ^^ For me it's everyone around me's having a baby, or getting married or getting engaged or in a solid relationship and I'm here like a potato without a boyfriend, nevermind getting married lol
Good! glad you liked it!
Strangers, Again reference hehe
Its kira from teen wolf!!! Shes so beautiful
Praying for you guys ;)
This is hilarious, 'cause I can totally relate.
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up before grad. And being an introvert (=.=), I just don't feel too comfortable meeting new people. And being 26 this year, it's like being 40 in male years. So much pressure from people. xD
Anyway, thanks for this. :)
Really just be yourself. People can really just pop out of no where with out you even noticing it. You just have to think about the goal of things. If you don't want to end up with someone then end it because you could be missing out on someone else that's better. I always did wonder about dating after college and how that worked though.
The marriage questions should go to Ted since he proposed ahaha. Hope he can be on the show someday!