I NEVER use this phrase and here's why
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- čas přidán 17. 12. 2023
- People use the term 'everything happens for a reason' to pacify themselves in times of trouble -- but if you ask me, I think its a term that can be damaging and hurtful, especially towards those going through loss and grief.
Here's some thoughts on why I NEVER say this phrase!
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Yes youre so right. Thank you.
I work in a psychiatric hospital and when people assume that things happen for a reason or its karma from a past life 😢. I also dont agree. Cancer isnt karma. Abuse isnt a choice preplanned.
You are o so right ❤
Totally agree. It reminds me of another phrase I dislike is “It doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.”
Thank you, Kyle❣️We can gloss over peoples experiences so easily with our words. The other statement that is used this way is..”It is what it is”…it is used with such resignation, powerlessness and hopelessness….❤️❤️❤️
@sukihitz291,
OMG, I absolutely despise that phrase! "...it is what it is." sounds so 'absolute' and 'final', without any hope/opportunity for a different outcome/experience. Over the past 'umpteen' years, or so, I've made the commitment to switch out words/phrases that have become so mainstream and 'limiting' they don't support a sense of empathy/compassion for the circumstance/situation at hand, for words/phrases that afford a more open-ended, hopeful option. It really has created a better flow of Energy in my life! ✨💫💖
Love, Light, and Blessings. 🙏😇✨💫🌱🌿🌻🐝🌳🌎💖🙌😺
Interesting. I've always viewed that statement a bit differently; as something that's already happened and can't be changed. So, it's a method of acceptance, which is a step in the grieving process. Like, "Okay, that happened. Now I need to get to a place of acceptance so I can move on with my life." So, from that perspective, it's the opposite of resignation or hopelessness.
Thank you, Kyle. This is so freeing- again offering to remove layers of unnecessary guilt and responsibility. God , the universe is pure love. The evil does seek out the gentle and this is a chance and challenge to remember who we are, strengthen ourselves. So grateful you are here. 💗🙏💗
Thank you. My son committed suicide and I had this said to be. I appreciate your kindness and view. 💕🙏🏻
@melodyfordham7878,
So sorry for your loss. 😢
One of my sisters also made that choice several yrs. ago, as well as a (young)uncle some yrs. before that. 😢 I have come to believe some persons are too 'sensitive'(innocent hearts) to live on this planet at this time in humanity's 'immaturity'. So, they utilize their 'free will' to leave the Earth when they cannot stand [it] any longer.
Love, Light, and Healing Blessings. 🙏😇✨💫🌱🌿🌻🐝🌳🌎💖🙌😺
@@debracisneroshhp2827 sending hugs and love. And yes. I agree.
❤❤❤❤❤
Excellent, I think some ppl are crappy and I think there are random events ❤
Thank you Kyle, this came to me 2 Days after my Husband passed away from cancer. This meant a lot to see this.
Thank you Kyle! I have always found "Everything happens for a reason" spectacularly unhelpful and hurtful.
Similarly "Grief is the price we pay for love". For God sake no!
I would rather someone simply said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. Please tell me if there's anything I can do for you."
Thank you so much Kyle. I agree its a cop out and most just say it to say it. The same with "its life". ❤❤❤
The phrase that “everything is meant to happen” implies that victims of abuse, harm or trauma were destined for that pain. I don’t believe anyone is destined to experience those kinds of horrible things.
I love your phrase “you can find reason in every happening.” This is part of the process of healing from trauma. You still accept the awfulness, and reality of your situation. But you look at how you’ve grown and build your life again despite all that’s happened. It’s up to survivors to discover how they grew from the tragedy, or why they chose to go on. ❤️❤️
I heard you say this several months ago on one of the Angel Team Live calls and I have adopted it fully. I am so grateful that you share these insights. They make a difference in people's lives. Probably more than you know.
I cringe every time I hear that statement. You've helped put a perspective on this that I hope I use wisely when I hear someone say this again.
Ohmygosh what an interesting feeling for me after hearing you put words to this. Everything happens for a reason wasnt aligning with me and now that Im thinking about it I dont know why I was trying to believe that everything happens for a reason in the first place.
What you just said feels like a piece of the puzzel that was missing. Like words for what I was already feeling on a different level void of the intelect.
Simply put, I agree and I've posted this in my bedroom for some decades now. It's, I believe, a healthy way to living my life. With a great dose of gratefulness along side....Thank you
This is tricky for me - what you say makes sense on so many levels, however I also deeply and truly believe (and was told in more than one meditation) that I chose to be the "healer" in my family - that I am the only one capable in my lineage at this point in time of healing for generations forwards and backwards - and it helped me immensely to make sense of the deep trauma and lack of belonging I have felt here with my earthly family. I feel that the healing I am doing now (which was already in my DNA and then perpetuated by broken people, and family members) is creating new opportunities for new beginnings, releasing karmic binds that we should never have been carrying. But it would not have been possible had I not experienced some of the pain in order to search for the way back to wholeness - both for myself and others. I know there is so much that I don't yet understand fully but this is why I have aligned with the idea of some experiences being part of my human journey.
Thank you Kyle. I love this idea. I feel there’s a lot of spiritual bypassing and gaslighting that happens in the community. We’re here to feel! In ALL the ways and to me saying that phrase to someone is implying that they shouldn’t be feeling those emotions. That goes for anything you’re going through. We are not robots here to get past our emotions without processing them. We’re here to experience all the emotions and know that what we feel is valid and then do your best to go on. To take it and see what we can do with it to transmute it. To develop more empathy for others, because of it. To share it. To teach it. To give it a meaning as we heal it. If that makes sense. So I appreciate what you said.
This applies also in the chronic illness community. It's called toxic positivity. I wrote an article about it because the gaslighting is glossed over. It is far healthier from a mental health perspective to share and express your authentic emotions in the moment. When you stuff down and gloss over real, authentic feelings and emotions, that wreaks more havoc on the body, mind and spirit. I can't begin to tell you how many insensitive comments I've received from people who have zero clue what I go through living with chronic illness and pain. It is also incredibly disrespectful and not empathetic to dismiss other people's feelings and experiences because one perceives them as being negative. While I choose not to wallow in victimhood, I authentically express how I feel and advocate for myself.
And another thing😄 my favourite saying from a former boss is: you have to know what you're dealing with, then you will know what to do. Profound advice! I spent most of my life "being nice". But in some cases, you should not be nice!. You have to know what (or who) you're dealing with. ❤
Thankyou so much for this Kyle! It's exactly what I think. I am confronted with some weird and very exhausting situations and humans at the moment and my friends and family keep saying this - as if they can't stand my pain any more. "Everything happens for a reason talk" is just not being able to just stand that the other person is in pain. Sometimes this really makes me angry ;-) But as you say, it's the chance to stay on the good side. Do the best we can to turn the energies into good.
Yes__and if you ask them, "So, what might that reason be?'', they don't have a clue. 😛
One thing I've learned years ago is, to 'accept' whatever is going on/happening at the moment as the way [it] is 'for now'__this way it establishes in [your] mind the possibility of changing/getting better, a more hopeful outlook. 🙏😇
Hope this is helpful(?).
Love, Light, and Blessings. 🙏😇✨💫🌱🌿🌻🐝🌳🌎💖🙌😺
Thanks Kyle, that really makes alot of sense.
It was til I heard you say it that I realised I haven't been saying that Frase for quite a while & didn't even realise I'd done it & now I know why 🙏🕊️💚🕯️🌏
Thank you dear Kyle! I so appreciate you sharing your personal wisdom with us. I love how you shine your light on our paths, this world journey, ethereal spiritual journey, we are all on. Here we grow again! Love, blessings and holiday wishes. 💖
Thank you, Kyle! This really resonated with me! I actually say this to MYSELF about traumas I’ve experienced; so I’m now going to change that to - “what can I learn from this?”
Do you think that’s a better way to go?! ❤
That is a so much more realistic way to look at how things happen that we cannot explain and or are very painful. Thank you once again Kyle for sharing your wisdom! 🙏💖✨
Agree with you. I'm not a fan of that saying or "It is what it is." Grrrrr! Those statements really get under my skin. I think the essence of what you're saying is to simply show some compassion for whatever someone is going through. And not always try to find a reason. Sometimes, crappy things happen. Being human is challenging, unpredictable, messy, beautiful. Thanks for your insight, Kyle 🙂
Thank you, Kyle, for expressing your view about 'everything happens for a reason'. It is a well known fact that 'things' - including losses of many kinds not excluding loss of human life - can 'happen to' some people due to power imbalance, malicious motivation and intentions by predators, perpetrator/s and collaborator/s, due to corruption, cover-ups, greed, spiritual warfare, and so on. It is equally well known that a lack of empathy, compassion, care, and love are possible reasons why some others are not able to 'feel for' another human beings pain and suffering. Nor are some people able to imagine what it could possibly be like to walk in another persons shoes - so to speak. So, perhaps it is easier for some to imply a tyrannical unseen force to justify why 'everything happens for a reason'.
When people go to folks like you they want answers and not be pushed a side like there situation doesn't matter.
Thank you! I have never liked this phrase, nor do I believe it. Some things just happen and it's crappy. I love how you say find reason in the happening. Light and love.
So glad I've seen this. This was the one thing that I didn't feel comfortable with saying either.
very interesting and insightful comments. I think it makes perfect sense to me and I will also adopt this perspective from now on. It feels is so much more inline with Divine!
thank you!
This helps so much. It resonates with me. I've been widowed twice and am only 58 do I have heard people say that phrase a lot and it makes me cringe. What can I learn from all this...must be something good!
Happy Holidays Kyle thank you!! yes, I sometimes have a little trouble with that phrase as well! It’s kind a hard to believe sometimes especially when bad things happen to good people! Namaste 🙏🏽❤️🥰
I appreciate you saying this, Kyle. This phrase can be deeply painful for someone who has experience any type of trauma or loss. I'm sure in my youth I probably use this phrase myself but as I've grown I've let it go. It is a way of bypassing our own pain and the pain of others we haven't found a way to deal with. Now I just listen and encourage people to ground themselves from within and that they will find their way through their pain.
I see you thriving Boy Kyle keep doing and connecting to as many soul as possible thank you for the wisdom
Thank you so much for this. I’ve always struggled with the ‘everything happens for a reason’ concept. It didn’t sit well with me, especially when considering the truly awful things that happen to people and children. I personally feel that it has also enabled people to not take responsibility for their actions as they can just dismiss it as a pre-determined part of someone’s journey.
Totally agree, Kyle... it's so myoho how this message appeared for me today. Just last week, I was trying to find the words to share with my granddaughter to use instead of that phrase. I remember you addressed this on one of our Angel calls and couldn't remember which one... thanks for being you... Stay well 💙💙💙🙌🏾
I totally agree with you, Kyle.
In reality, it seems to me that it is a simple question of empathy and compassion. Is anyone really capable of saying phrases like that when someone is suffering from something serious? In those moments, what everyone needs is for you to be there, for you to accompany, you don't even have to say anything, except if you want "I'm here for everything you need." After a while, you may see the option of looking for things that can make the person feel better. But equally, something that downplays what others feel will never be appropriate. I am not a specialist in the spiritual world, but I have clear that the idea of being here is to do so through this human experience, with its beautiful and less beautiful things.
Sometimes I look at death like a lay off.
There was a head on collision this past week in Wisconsin where a drunk driver was driving down the wrong side of the highway and killed all four people. The parents lost all four of their children all at once. So tragic. Unfortunate. Sending them so much love, strength & empathy and
Thank you. I despise that phrase.
100% agree ❤ the way you said it expresses this so well and for years the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’ has grated on me. From now on, find the reasons in the happening! ❤
I also don’t like it when people say you’re stronger for going thorough a traumatic events. No, I was traumatised. I was made stronger by my resilience, and dragging myself through that time. It was messy, painful and dark, not something to gloss over and try to make into your wisdom!
Thank you for saying this, dear Kyle. I totally agree with you. I thought it was me, so it's so cool to find someone as you thinking like this and having the courage ti say it. Thank you thank you thank you
I love this!! Thank you so much for sharing.
YES I believe I just finished a course with all of you at Hay House wish done years ago
EASY TO UNDERSTAND LIKE MORE TEACHING
This is a new view, Kyle! Thank you for it. So important to be sensitive in what we say. While I actually do believe things do happen for reasons we might not know, I like the view of trying to find reason in the happening. To me, that's harder. Reason in ANY view may not be find-able. Yet, at some level, the SOUL has its reasons. I don't believe we're punished by GOD by saying there's a reason. But you can't say indiscriminate things to people in pain. Love your idea of saying to someone that you're sorry for their pain or loss. Yet, the soul has reasons that we may never know, when we're human. And I actually believe we do learn from things, so lessons are there. Opportunities as you say. Finally I don''t think it's wrong-thinking to propose that there is a reason for everything. You want to be discreet about this thought. Compassionate. We're not just flipping word meanings or order. Kyle, you are so soulful. You teach what is in need of learning. Thank you for your love and wisdom!
Always focussing on the love. This made me smile. Thanks Kyle.
It makes so much sense to me and it's good to be reminded of this. Thank you for your amazing work. God bless.
Finally someone that dosnt blame the victims. Well said brother love those words find meaning in what's happening stay in the love of the Divine .I'm sure you and I are from the same monad bless you brothet❤🎉🎉
❤
Thank you for this important video. I absolutely agree with you on this. You are so right. Thank you for this, and your wisdom!
I think you are absolutely right. I am going to try to remember that and be more supportive. Thank you!
Hi Kyle. I resonate with some of your comments and suggestions in this post and others not at all. There are "bad people" was one that landed in a disharmonious way. I think of us all as pure innocent babies born of love regardless of the circumstances of our birth. We have experiences in these bodies that program us to think and feel and act in certain ways, that could result in "negative or bad" energy and results in attracting more of the same keeping the cycle going... perhaps a new topic for you to explore. It sounds a bit judgmental - like we can label people good people and bad people? yikes that makes me feel icky! Here's another topic: resilience. When two people experience the same "negative or bad" energy event and have different outcomes from it. I appreciate you putting yourself out there and stimulating discussion with your content. woo! go spirit!
Yes makes perfect sense
Beautiful. Words are powerful!
thank you Kyle. I do dislike that phrase. My mother in Law used to say this to my husband and I when our first child was born, almost died, and then needed a heart transplant at 7 days old. He had a rough life and then died at 17 years old. But I was told because of this it "happened for a reason." ggrrrrrr My experiences made me stronger, and more of an advocate, is what i got out of it.
Hey Kyle! Thank you for this, it certainly made me sit up and pay attention! At first I was a wee bit confused about this as when listening and supporting people, as well as when I've been going through challenging times, I have told myself there is a reason for this - a learning, something I need to understand to better grow stronger. I also have explored the concepts and thinking around a 'blueprint' for life - choices made pre-birth into this world. Then, as I continued to listen I realised that the way you speak is unconsciously what I have been doing; listening and being beside people in their pain. But I realised the key is in the opening up of so much more, when you re-phrase by saying...... "find reason within every happening" it frees the mind. Thank You 🙏
Thank you, I’ve never been overly keen on that saying either
Thank you Kyle. This makes so much sense! Blessings to you for spreading the word!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!🙌🙏 I've been saying the same thing for quite a while. I still catch myself saying it from time to time, but with a positive connotation. However, I've been searching for a more appropriate phrase. Because I've found it can seem insincere, dismissive and pacifying, especially in the context of a loss or a heavy situation someone is experiencing (i won'tsay it then). Thank you for giving this topic a voice & your wisdom around it. 🙏
I remember you saying that previously and I have stopped using it as well. Truly amazing. Thanks Kyle.
Thankyou dear Kyle, your video has just comevat the right time as i try to find reason why i lost both my cats within a day of each other.
Keep doing your wonderful work! I have found your Angels abd Ancestor cards to be so bang on with every reading. So grateful for your guidance
Namaste
Thank you, Kyle, for this insight. For some years now, I've been 'letting go of'/switching out certain words/phrases in my vocabulary/communications as they no longer serve in an Energetic 'flow' of empathy, compassion, hope, opportunities for more congruent outcomes. This is one of those phrases.
Love, Light, and Blessings. 🙏😇✨💫🌱🌿🌻🐝🌳🌎💖🙌😺
What a valuable talk. It’s so perceptive and inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you Kyle for all the amazing things that you are always sharing! 🙏🏻💖
I really envy your singing bowl collection 😊❤
So beautifully put Kyle and I agree 💯 %
I believe we are meant to live a magnificent life.
Keep centred and keep working on ourselves.
Yes I agree! ❤
Thank you so so much. Such a relief to hear your explanation. You hear that unhelpful phrase so often and for you to emphasise we have choices so often ignored. Incredibly uplifting wise words,thank you. Liz❤
Thank you, Kyle! I'm glad you decided to stay on this earth, because I learn a lot from you! I would love to learn more about what you talked about in this video about things not happening to teach us a lesson. Where could I find more about that idea? Thank you again, Kyle. Thanks for being you! 💛🙏
You're so speaking right out of my heart 🙏🏼. It never felt right to me too saying that - so thanks ❤️
Yes. Nothing is set in stone. 🤍🙏🤍
Thank you so much for your offerings. I love you so much, brother 🤍🕊🕯🙏🌞
We do have choices but we also have soul contracts to deal with our karmic lessons. I had a couple of times where I could have died too. I believe we have soul contracts and some choose to die sometimes not for their lessons but for people that are close. Possibly for them to learn Karmic lessons of a past life.
Or, maybe, the present. 😢 💖🙌😺
Amen to this! I love that you say, "The Divine is pure love and doesn't pushes us through painful experiences!"
Thank you Kyle! I love this message! Thanks for all you do!
Oh! Thank you for this. I have had some conversations with friends and clients about this but could never find the words. And i have to say that it was confusing for myself for a long time too. This is good!
Thank you for this! I have disliked this phrase and agree it can be hurtful. Your insights are very helpful, as always! Keep them coming. 😄 Thank you and Happy Holidays to you!
I like this perspective 🌷
Thank you for this Kyle. This is exactly what I was guided to hear today. My boyfriend is ill, I have loss throughout life and just asked myself last night, “what am I supposed to be learning through this?” At 61, I learned to love me last year. I’ve transformed so much and, yes, I did feel as though I was involved in some sort of punishment;
Without realizing that’s what was feeling. So thank you. Now instead of putting energies into what it is I’m supposed to learn, I can just concentrate on continuing to love 💕 him and make this next year as comfortable as possible. 💖
Thankyou Kyle... that was quite inspirational...xxx Blessings Be to you Beautiful Heart ❤️
Totally agree. It feels right. Thanks.
So powerful. Thank you!!!
Thank you Kyle. Love this analogy. This makes better sense. ❤
Thank you for sharing this, Kyle. Important. Thoughts and words are real forces. I don't use it much, but from this second I'll stop saying it.
I have experienced much abuse since a small Child. What's always has been important for me, is to find deeper meaning with it for me to keep going on and not choose to leave this world🤍🕊🧞♀️
Thank you, Kyle. Wonderful and timely message we all need to hear. ❤❤
I love this 💖Thank you so much Kyle
Totally agree with you x, glad you've said this xxxx much love
I totally agree with you. Thank you. That was upplifting. 💜😊
Loved this perspective!! Thank you for sharing 🙏🩵
Really appreciate you sharing this with us. Grateful for your wisdom. I like this idea and will start doing this as well. Peace and love to all beings!!
Thx Kyle, you da best ❤️🙏
Right on. Love how down to Earth and logical you are, while also having a heart and spiritual wisdom. Thanks! ❤️
Lovely to hear a different compassionate viewpoint, thanks for sharing with us Kyle. 🙏🌺💚
Thank you Kyle🥺❤🩹🙏
I am saying that to myself and after listening to I became aware of how it may sound. However, while saying that to myself I would always find a positive reason why: maybe it was to redirect me, maybe it was to let me release that person, our friendship reached its term or in case of a death maybe it was the end of that person mission on Earth. It didn’t make the pain easier but it helped me process it in a way.
Thank you Kyle that was so kind of it I believe it did speak too me I'm happy I heard this from you Thank you so much love and light 🕊🕊🕊🙌✨️♾️♾️🕯🕊
Wow I never thought of it this way thank you for sharing this!
Thankyou Kyle!
This is beautiful. Have just started reading for people and was unsure what to say for these circumstances. I completely agree with all this x
Thank you for bringing this out to people. I completely agree. We give meaning to the events in our lives, we can choose to see something as a lesson or we can choose to take an opportunity for personal/spiritual growth. "Things happen for a reason" puts someone in the victim seat. Your view empowers people!
Bless ...this I really feel deep in My Soul, it the TRUTH , thanks so much for sharing this Pearl of a vlog x
That’s interesting. It says in Neale Donal Walsh’s book Conversations With God that souls do choose (forgiveness for example) to have experiences and other souls are the perpetrators to help that soul experience forgiveness. I really like that book and open to all perspectives 😊