I always say: if you were to have a party at your house, who would you invite. Obviously 100 people can’t fit in your home. Who would you feel comfortable with having in your home? That’s who you invite to a small wedding.
We are planning a small wedding and the guest list will just be immediate family and friends. We drew a hard line and just said no extended family even if we want some cousins there because it just seemed less offensive. We offered our parents that if they wanted to host a separate party with the extended family we would absolutely attend. People don't like when you set boundaries in any capacity. That has definitely been the hardest part of wedding planning is advocating for what my partner and I want even if it offends people. I hope the culture is shifting towards people picking the type of wedding they want. Especially with how expensive life is.
This is so true. I'm proud of you for being able to have the backbone to do that! I am such a people pleaser, and overthink about EVERYONE'S feelings. It's rough but it's what's needed to have a better peace of mind.
@@thatmamakeyz65 Therapy has helped me a lot but I have a long ways to go. My family is super codependent so it's a struggle for sure! I tell myself that if they truly love me they will ultimately want me to be happy even if that doesn't match what they want.
@@brynna8619 Wow Brynna, That is very powerful. And I completely agree, your joy, peace and happiness exceeds all the expectations they have for YOUR special day. You and your husband deserve what memories you want to hold onto and not stressing the entire day to meet everyone elses expectations. I think you just encouraged me to revise my guest list and cut it out the fluff of me trying to make everyone else happy. Thank you
Thank u for this reminder. My mom is adamant we have to invite her entire side of the family. I barely know them and always got compared to them. Filial Piety is bullshit
Our wedding was parents and siblings only! The day was about my husband and I, not anyone else. I just remembered our reason and tuned out everyone else. It’s your day, not theirs! Also I did what made me feel comfortable. I spent the night at home with my husband, woke up and cooked a big breakfast the morning of our wedding. When people attempted to talk me out of what I wanted I reminded them…IT’S NOT YOUR WEDDING DAY! My mental space was very important to me that day so I did what made me comfortable.
my soon to be MIL asked over and over and over "where are you getting ready?" We were blessed to buy a 2 story house with 4 bedrooms and garage. We intend to wake up, have breakfast, walk our dog and have a nice cup of coffee. Then the entire bridal party, hair girls, MUA's, groomsmen and videographers will be here to start getting ready and have First Look in our front yard. Ive told her this 5 times. She keeps insisting her son needs to sleep somewhere else, get ready completely separate locations and not be around each other until the First Look. After repeating myself and finally adding "thank you for your concerns but stop, I dont need any help planning the morning timeline" she stopped. Maybe we'd be traditional if we didnt have a house but we do and we want to that "quiet" time together before the chaos. it was a hard pill for her to swallow.
@@teresaortiz2027 Yes! Do what makes you both happy and comfortable! In the long run you’ll have those memories and your family won’t even remember who slept where.
I had a 12 person wedding and it was amazing! Brother in law was the photographer, sister in law officiated, spoitify playlist for a DJ, grocery store flowers, and a FANTASTIC restaurant that provided the cake and decorations. It was more of a dinner party vibe. Did the first dance but otherwise no dancing. Pretty much no stress. Small weddings are best!
I was talking to my mum about wedding plans and no matter what I said she “would’ve never done that back in the days, you’re gonna offend your family members” - I’ll keep it small, I don’t have to invite my aunts and uncles who I don’t even talk to just bc they did that in the 80s ✌🏼
Just had a 30 person wedding about a week and a half ago. The minimums were definitely the hardest part. We live in a major city and still had to travel 1.5 hours outside the city to find a venue that worked for us that wouldn't charge us an arm and a leg. We ended up a restaurant that also does lots of small events (including weddings) and they charged us about 1/2 of what venues closer to home would have charged us. Beyond just saving money on our wedding, it was great to be able to personally connect with every person there. We also got to do the thing that we hear most couples not getting to do at their wedding: we ate. Because we weren't being pulled in a million different directions by a million different guests, we had the time to eat.
I live in a major metropolis and everywhere I called within a 2.5 hour drive wanted a 100 person minimum. I couldn’t even come up with that many if we tried
I was wondering about that! I'm having a 35 person wedding and everyone tells me, "we weren't able to eat at all at our wedding!" from people like my brother who had at least a 100 guests at his wedding. Glad to know this likely won't be an issue for me.
Please keep the small wedding content coming! I don't really have a big circle of people so this video is definitely helpful for me as I wanted a small wedding in terms of guest count but with regular wedding amenities such as a venue, decor, floral, etc. Personally, with the all in one inclusive venues, I'm not a fan of because I would like to have a little more freedom with the vendors I want or they aren't available everywhere ( the type of venue I'm looking for usually isn't all in one ). I love the small wedding content so more videos like that would be so helpful!
Minimums!!!! Ugh. Killed me. I couldn't believe how many businesses would turn down my money! It made me feel so sad and unimportant. I had 25 people at my wedding and I did almost everything myself. It turned out amazing! I wouldn't change a thing. But I wish I could have avoided those feelings during the planning period.
@@Hetsupshut3 Yes, but they certainly didn't want to do that. Of course venues wouldn't want to pay the opportunity cost of potentially booking a wedding where they could make much more money per event.
Wedding win: I was kind of at a loss on videographers. I just felt like I was seeing a lot of videos online that felt forced/unnatural, and I didn't want to pay for something I wasn't happy with. However, my fiance is Lebanese and has family in Lebanon who will not make it to the wedding. It would be great for us to have a video that we could share with both his family abroad and all of our friends and family as they are all very excited for us. Just last week, I stumbled upon a videographer who has a style that I LOVE. She is so artistic and reasonably priced, and her vision for connecting with couples and their story is something that really hits home with me. So glad we found her and can't wait to support her business through our wedding!
Literally 20 people including me & my husband. $3200. I diy'd as much as possible and was the most easygoing bride I know while still trying to have an actual wedding. The amount of pushback was so disappointing! I am happy that we had our beautiful beach wedding but if I had somehow known, we would have gone away on a real vacation and eloped by ourselves.
I think this is a good question to ask yourself to cut it down - say hypothetically your house burnt down tomorrow and you don't have anyone else , could you/would you feel ok to rock up on their door and ask to stay for a couple days and would they say yes? If the answer to any of that is no or you have to think about it then they don't make the cut. Because if space is limited either by finances or choice then you want people who will support you at your most down and out - not just on this one great day.
We just didn’t tell family that friends were invited 😂😅 so they never asked “why can’t we bring xyz cousin, why can’t these 10 children come ect” (justifying that family should come before friends). Lmao what they don’t know won’t hurt em. Keeping the “in the know” crowd to a minimum is 🔑 to small wedding bliss
That's exactly what I want to do! I'm so over having to invite family and parents' friends we either barely talk to or worse, don't really socialize with because of some bad blood - JUST to save face and because apparently you have to invite everyone like it's a family reunion and not a special milestone for us both. Absolutely not on our dime. Even on our parents' dimes lol I'm not paying for an invite and a spot for Aunt Maria who we stopped talking to because she's a gossip and steals from family when she visits - just because she's immediate family. Nope.
My fiancé and I are getting married in December and we got engaged this October. Our wedding is going to be beautiful and perfect and we are spending about 500$. He is an organist and so we are getting married at his church job and his choir is singing with his boss, a bishop, marrying us. There is a bed and breakfast next door and the owner is in his choir and so our reception venue is free. I am wearing my mothers dress and I used to work at mens wearhouse and so my co workers are helping me get his tux for next to nothing. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. His aunt is making the cake and his uncle is a wedding photographer. The rings we got at an estate sale and switched out the stone on mine for a diamond by a church parishioner. We are so so lucky to have a community that roots for us and wants to help us on our big day :)
My husband and I planned our small wedding in 41 days and with a $2000 budget. We are so lucky to live in Las Vegas! I found a cute, simple chapel that had room for our 20 guests (just immediate family, his grandma, and our 4 friends/roommates). Everybody was visible in our photos and video. We rented a private room at an Indian restaurant and ordered a local cake. My brother’s friend set up our decorations at the restaurant while we were still at the chapel. We brought our own drinks (no alcohol, just glass bottles of soda).
I live in a rural area so I fortunately didn't run into any minimums for my 25 person wedding. Good notes about the dancefloor and lighting! I would agree. Some advice for anyone planning a wedding at a house or small venue - make sure you really think about the little tasks that need to get done and communicate/delegate accordingly. If my sweet mother in law had not swooped in, a lot of things would not have gotten done!
Maybe it's because I've worked on setting boundaries with my family for years, but I haven't had a lot of push back on my wedding planning. I can tell that at times my parents have been disappointed with some of our decisions, aaaaaaand that's they're feelings to resolve, not mine. Sounds cold, but it's true 😉
It also worked out that we live in Colorado and most of our guests are coming from all over the country and Mexico, so that took care of the extra people inviting themselves. A lot literally can't come because they don't have a visa, and a lot of others can't afford it. Again, sounds cold, and that's they're current environment and they gotta resolve their own feelings.
I anticipated a mid-size, 85 person wedding, but we are now at a final guest count of 45. We definitely felt a lot of these. We didn't invite extended family (over 50 on just my dad's side). We ran into having hair and MUA minimums, and definitely felt family pressure to have a big reception after our later religious ceremony, etc., etc. It's been just as expensive as we initially anticipated and I definitely have been stressing
A good thing to do is not divulge guest lists or the planning and all that to anyone who is not needed to input THEIR opinions. It really isn't hard to be stern. Weddings are too expensive because of peer pressure and yes parent pressure. It's fair to be fair to yourselves. You can easily say to people that you are handling your wedding day and you want to be able to remember the experience and not break the bank. Think about it ,those immediate ones who love and care about you are the most important to attend. A suggestion could be to capture and collage some wedding pics and send to those closest who didn't make the list with the a caption saying " Congratulations to us please enjoy our pics of our special occasion lv us" people will be ok and excited to still in theory, be a part of your day. Your wedding will only be as perfect as you let it be.
Not a small wedding but we're doing very simple florals since the venue is a garden- had to contact over 10 florists because so many had $5k+ minimums. FINALLY found someone with a la carte ordering and prices that fit our budget!
Holy cow, do people have opinions and expectations about weddings, especially if you're the bride! I felt so bad for my brother and my sister-in-law; the moment they decided on their wedding date, she got bombarded with "you've got to do this" and "you MUST have that!" and "no WAY a wedding cake can be chocolate!" and even "of COURSE you're having a reception - you're my ONLY DAUGHTER, how can you NOT have one??". The result was that my brother and sis-in-law spent way more than they had originally planned, were stressed out of their minds, didn't even enjoy their own party, got sick during the honeymoon, and took six months to recover. On top of all that, their album didn't come out the way they wanted it to, and even after five years later, they're still bitter. When it came to my wedding, though, I got suuuuuuuuper lucky; I live far away from most of my family, and only my mom came over to help me out. Even though she respected my wishes, she STILL had some expectations, and we had to have some difficult chats. Best advice I got was from a seamstress I talked to: "when it comes to your wedding, you don't "have to" anything!". In the end, our original plans went belly-up because of covid, and we instead got a 13-people wedding that was absolutely everything I could have wanted and more. And the main driver for what came out to be the actual wedding? My absolute queen of a sister-in-law, who went after everything for me and made sure that, even though it was a tiny wedding, it still looked perfect. I was so happy and grateful for what she'd done and about my wedding, I thought I wanted to do something to maybe hellp her remember her wedding in a more positive way. I asked to see pictures of their wedding (which I hadn't really looked through), and went over all the details and told my sis how beautiful and amazing everything was. If y'all got any ideas of what I can do for her, please let me know! I thought maybe asking if she has any favorite photos of her wedding that she'd like in a frame or something, or maybe I can pay to have her album redone?
Wedding win: Made myself go wedding dress shopping. Wedding fail: Every single dress has a plunging neckline which does not suit my tata's, my wedding vibe, or my MIL's vision lmao.
I totally get this. I keep telling my fiance that I can work the corner to pay off our wedding while wearing one of these plunge dresses. For some reason the options are usually one of two: dress like a nun or a street worker. I wish you luck!
I am right there with you! The venues around here are a nightmare. Every one that I have wanted I have not been able to justify the cost. All-inclusive ones have wayyyyy too fancy of food that you have to use. Other ones don't offer much but are still so expensive. Just found out the rental company I wanted to get chairs through has a minimum delivery fee of $2500! For 50 chairs! The venue has definitely been my biggest headache, I've been going back and forth for over a month now, it's stressing me out!
@@je7788 oh my gosh!!!! That is sooo ridiculous! How could they possibly justify that?! They are crooks out there. I try to think about how I throw parties for $600 or less, I know I should be able to rock a wedding venue for $5k! I'm struggling meeting this budget even with CUTTING OFF gifted parts of it like our DJ, Cake and Officiant are all covered. I don't even want to spend thousands on a dress, it's the venue and catering that is hindering the budget the most!
@@thatmamakeyz65 I absolutely feel your pain! I think my biggest road block is that I want it to be very minimal and simple and that is making venues so hard to choose. Because I want to do my own decor, Harry Potter theme, but most places that provide decor don't really give you the opportunity to customize much at all. I want simple food but most places serve things I've never even heard of! That leaves restaurants or other forms of catering that mostly supply dinnerware but will they let me use my own and adjust the price. AHHHH! So many questions. Also, I am going to get my dress online, I know it might be a bit of a risk but I will order in plenty of time and it's only $285. I am hoping even with alterations that I'd be mostly keeping a good budget there. Just a suggestion!
@@je7788 I love your suggestion to take a chance and order it online. It could go great or I just need to prepare for a good back up plan and return policy lol. Also, HARRY POTTER!!!! Your day is going to be VERY MAGICAL! My family all made fun of me that I would probably have Mickey Mouse in the theme SOMEWHERE lol But your so right, so many placed have standard decor items, extravagant dinners and extreme price tags!!!!! I need to see this $5,000 Wedding Budget plan, like yesterday.
@@thatmamakeyz65 I think the backup plans or just being prepared will make life easier, in all aspects! On that note, I'm prepared for some comments on my theme and general vision for the day. It's not going to be conventional at all in the grand scheme of things! But it's our day and only one day out of people's lives to suck it up and enjoy haha! I am going with disposable dinnerware, fake flowers, no dj, just playlist, basically diy'ing 90% of it. The only thing I'm spending the most on is photography. I am opting to not have videography and instead am going to buy my own camcorder and assign someone or just set it up and let it record everything throughout the day. I just couldn't bring myself to spend my entire $5k budget on two things......The venue is a park, it won't be private but the host said most people are really good about leaving the party alone and it's beautiful. I'm going to practice and do my own makeup, I don't wear it anyway. We are going to cook our own food as well. And I'm going to transform a Costco sheet cake into my own wedding cake. It sounds like a lot but the reward of not spending upwards of a down payment on a house for one day is completely worth it to me. :)
OMG SO TRUE!! I have so many people upset we are having a morning wedding. Win: I get to plan a wedding with and marry the most amazing person. Fail: we both agree we should have just had a small ceremony with just the two of us.
My fiance and I are getting married in almost 5 weeks. We invited 25 people each unfortunately only 2 of my cousins from my original list are coming with their kids. I decided not to invite my uncles and aunts to be a drama free wedding. I added one more cousin and his family that lives far away that will try to come. I hate making someone travel over a day just for my wedding. I was really hurt when my guests declined and some flat out never responded. One of my cousin's husband even blocked me. I had sent my cousin via messenger the save the dates and the invitations, I had invited them both to the fb event private page. At first I didn't want to invite anyone on my side did fear or rejection and drama. Sad that it became true. I'm getting over that now. I'm an introvert and don't like big crowds. So far we have 34 people coming (including guest's children). We don't think our wedding will exceed $4000. Most of the cost went into my wedding dress, accessories for it and alterations, then the church venue was close second but it includes reception area. We plan to have pizzas delivered because it's cheap and easy. We are going to have a cake made by a grocery store. I opted of florals all together because I feel like it's a waste of money. I would much rather save that money towards a future honeymoon. I did get 2 wood flowers bouquet from sola flowers for my maid of honor and me that turned out amazing and looks real. I'll get to keep mine for years to come not just one day. I'll do my own makeup. My hair will be done for about $35 by a hairdresser that my future step mother in law offered to cover. For decor I am reusing some of my fall existing fall decor. Our venue prohibits alchool, smoking and live candles. Some guests might not like that but they were warned. I didn't want to do paper save the dates and paper invites but we did for the 5 elderly guests. It cost more because most places only sell those in 25 qty. We didn't do favors, guest book etc because those little costs add up. We did hire a photographer for 3 hours (1 hour is photographer getting ready and taking stuff down). She has several years of experience and only charged us $600 which is really affordable. we planned this wedding with us in mind, we are simple people and don't need much to be happy. I'm just glad that after nearly 4 years of dating on we will get married on our dating anniversary.
@@bookwormbon482 @Bonnie Brown it went great. We only ended up with 19 guests. Because one person couldn't come due to their child being sick and someone had a coworker who had Covid so she didn't come. Some people were no shows. We ended up having to buy some fall decor before my existing decor somehow got wet and got ruined in the garage. It was nice intimate wedding and reception. It only lasted 4 hours and half but it was nice. The pictures turned out great and we had a great time.
We did immediate family only (parents, siblings, nieces/nephews)-- 20 people total. Luckily it was in a backyard so we didn't have to worry about venue. We did it "big" as far as decorations, food, photo, etc. for just our small group and it was awesome. I LOVED our small wedding and would do it all over again in a heartbeat! That being said- I have some extended family that were extremely upset and offended, to the point of completely changing their relationship with me and my parents. Friends and most extended family, on the other hand, were extremely supportive and truly happy for us. My now husband and I are so happy with our choices and are glad we stuck to our decisions. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you can literally do WHATEVER you want, WHATEVER makes you and your partner happy. You can share pictures and videos and stories with everyone who couldn't attend later!
We decided to split our wedding day into a wedding weekend with two smaller parties - one for family and one for friends. This saves us from having to rent a big hall that can accommodate 100 people all at once, and we get to spend more time with all the people we love on each day. We're doing a family BBQ style day (with a small quick "ceremony") on day 1 and an open house style party with friends at a local brewery on day 2. Sure, our friends won't be there for the actual "I do"s but they know what happened and they're still there to celebrate it with us! We made this decision to save money and save us the stress of meeting all the expectation that come with having a traditional wedding and we are SO EXCITED for it.
Me with my originally 70 ppl wedding to now 30😂😂 my small guest count but have given me the MOST problems (refusing to rsvp, a million and 1 requests 🙃)
My husband and I had a VERY small wedding for Filipino standards that we planned within 2 months. It helped so much that I had been watching your channel for years that we already knew what we did and did not want for our wedding. We were able to set boundaries around others' expectations around how our wedding should be and (thankfully) had very little drama around it.
Please do a talk on 2nd or subsequent weddings. A lot of our issues are a bit different, especially if our first wedding was years ago and we are astounded at how the different the industry is now.
We had a guest list of only 40 people and it was just as stressful as if we had 200. We still managed to spend $25,000 and 3 months post wedding I'm still getting "why wasn't I invited???" and still getting the opinions! The wedding has been over for 3 months like everyone let it go! My biggest thing was"you're not having dancing? What are we gonna do?". We had a photo booth, ballerina performance, full open bar, rehearsal dinner, and post wedding brunch to make it a fully inclusive experience.
@@brandymalinovski3212 thanks for replying, sorry to hear that. We sre also planning a day after brunch/bbq for the full experience but so many doubts and planning. But maybe Dj is a good idea to dance the stress sway
our wedding will consist of mostly young people so we're going way unconventional and just setting up a projector, a screen, and a big seating area where everyone can be intimate and doing video games (that are meant for multiple players like mario kart) and karaoke for the reception (after dinner) 😛 i didn't want it too feel too stuffy and have it just be a fun casual time with friends, plus it's a less than 25 guest list and i know a lot of the people well. i'd rather just have a fun time with them in the way we bond best 💖
A wedding guest list should never be discussed to everyone. I once coordinated for a good friend for a home wedding and my first question was how many people (second was budget)and my friend said oh I guess about 100 people. After my 2nd question regarding budget I re asked her to reconsider the guests. I asked her count immediate family and immediate parents, her and his children and forsure immediate family like some very close cousins then I had her count closest friends meaning those who are diehard friends (known for years) and last to count was significant others of everyone. We got the number down to 60 and planned food , tables, drinks and so on and who showed up was about 30 people. The problem was the guest list inflated due to others family members input because the guest list.. it was discussed. My overall count would have been fine at 40 guest. One thing to remember is to trust your planner trust them. A small wedding is a small wedding. Let it be memorable with those who truly love you.
Wedding win: We've had a lot of financial support from our families. Wedding fail: My coordinator service just switched coordinators on me 2 weeks before my wedding. I haven't met the new coordinator nor has she seen my venue. Kind of freaking out about that lol
wedding win: found a venue that included food, drinks, officiant, coordinator, tables, flatware, glassware, ceremony site, reception site, dressing suites, and a honeymoon suite for under $8K! All we need to get is a photographer/videographer, florals/decor (probably DIY), and our apparel :) I am planning a small 26-person guest list (including me and my fiance HA), so this was a great video!
Call me selfish but I've always wanted an intimate wedding, kinda small (60 ish guest) but I do not care who's feelings I hurt (respectfully). Although this is a special where two families are coming together, at the end of the day it is about me and my fiancé. I am in the process of planning my destination wedding and I was set and stone that I was not going to be inviting family members I say hi to like 3 times a year or only see during the holidays and no I am not sorry about it. I will not put my feelings below someone else's, it just doesn't make sense to me.
Haha I sooo feel this! Looking to get a party of 50 together in a big family and I am hesitant of that conversation with my 100+ family! We cannot afford/don't want to invite that many people!!!!
Great video with so many truths. One thing she doesn’t mention is how small weddings can = short term planning. I’m hoping to have a NYC reception only wedding this November (6 guests). Finding the right size venue with good food and style was hard, but we found 3 options. The catch… they all want to wait until 6-8 weeks before the desired event date to confirm the booking. How do you plan florals/photography without a solid date! I’m a bit worried some things wont be available or will be more expensive since It’ll be last minute
Really? That's kind of odd. I haven't seen that I wasn't able to select a date I wanted regardless of my guest size. But maybe that's because I wasn't going for venues that specifically catered for small weddings and just regular venues instead?
Our invited numbers were kept under 80 due to COVID restrictions, but we ended up with about 52 total on the day. The only issue we had with limits was a few extra people pulling out too close to the day so we had to pay for their meal either way.
We invited around 70 people, not really intentionally keeping it under that number but trying to only invite the people we really would want there/close to and “knew” would show up. Ending up with roughly 60 saying they are going to be there. I think it will be a great number (one month away from my wedding date!😮), it’s not too big or too small and we kept the food budget at a good price with a more high end option. Luckily we were able to find vendors that didn’t have any minimums so that wasn’t an issue but also DIYing the drinks, venue decorations, invites, DJ and no wedding planner. It will be a little less traditional and more relaxed vibe hopefully but that’s what we wanted-less pressure to be so formal and more PARTY!
I had a very small wedding----just 30 people. My husband had just re-enlisted in the Army (it was the only job he could find that would support us) and we had to throw a wedding together quickly, so we'd be married by his report date and qualify for post housing. It was a sweet wedding and family and friends pitched in to help with the cake, flowers, decorations, photography and food for afterwards. It was not the wedding I'd dreamed of, but it taught me that the wedding is only an hour long and one day out of your life. You have the rest of your lives to be married and that has been my focus. I have been happily married to my husband and best friend going on 32 years. Sure, it would have been nice to have the big white dress and walk down the aisle as the center of attention with a couple of hundred people to witness it but who is your wedding for? Is it to show off to your girlfriends and people you barely know or is it to be with the person you love?
My wedding is in about a month. Wins: *My dress still fits after buying it 2years ago and gaining weight. *We found an amazing live musician that we can afford 😮 *Foods amazing Loses…lemme keep those to myself for now. What we focus on, we attract. Lemme first attract my dream wedding with 60 guests excl us then reflect. PS : I could not have been so chilled without Jamie. When it all gets too much. I binge watch JW in bed with popcorn or on the couch. Jamie you have been a lifesaver,a digital shoulder to cry on and always there to deliver the proper food at the proper time.
Lol we are inviting 34 people to our nuptial mass wedding ceremony and then going to a private room at a snazzy steakhouse downtown . But weddings add up ! We are having people pay for their own dinner - and we are still going to be over 5,000 for everything. Our wardrobe and our wedding bands were the largest chunks of money AND the photographer/ videographer
The win: ordering bulk flowers and arranging myself (as MOB and again as MOG). Saved and had lovely abundant flowers! The lose: using my own seventeen sets of vintage China and silverplate-about ten sets of cups and saucers were broken/lost. But it was pretty!
Hi, Jamie. We have this idea of doing a private ceremony (literally me, him, the officiant) and a small (40-50 max) reception, no first dances, no same-day wedding video presentation (not our vibe). We're a generally mellow couple and so are most of our family and friends, but is it doable without it being boring? Do we need something like a dance floor wrangler?
Agree, if he or I haven't seen or spoken to you in the last 3yrs (because of the pandemic) you're not invited. Or make them Zoom only invite. My parents had less than 10 people, including the officiant, at their Jamaican wedding in 1969. She tells me all the time to elope.
I'm getting married out of state on a Wednesday. This allows for cheaper venue costs, cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels for everyone. plus, if people want to stay for vacation they have their weekend open. Choosing an out of state, weekday wedding allowed me to have an open invitation wedding. I've already had some No RSVPs. our wedding is next June.
I’m having a 40 people wedding and the biggest problem is finding a venue that don’t have crazy high minimums. All our dreams venue were out of the question and we end up have a destination wedding instead.
Our reception was 60 people including me and my husband !unfortunately we had to cancel due to covid back in March of 2020 but thankfully planning it wasn’t too difficult. I didn’t invite my fathers side( we aren’t very close) and budgeting was a dream knowing we didn’t have to spend an enormous amount of money !
Amazing advice as always! Also your hair looks amazing! I think my wedding win is the same as not - I'm excited that it's getting closer but also nervous that it's closer and still so much to do 😅 😬
I want a small wedding because I don't see the point of inviting great aunt Peggy that I haven't seen since 2001 to the party. If she's even alive...😳Problem is to convince my fiancé who is usually economical that we can't invite all of his 35 cousins on top of his 20 immediate family 😂
I was going to do 300 guest and dropped it to 60 guest 4 months before my wedding date. We're having our ceremony during dinner time. 6pm-10pm private dinner after ceremony same place. After party (city downtown).
I just got engaged in front of my family. 3 minutes after I said yes, my grandma started on about how my great aunt will be offended if she’s not invited. Lord help me
It would be amazing to get some advice on a 20-25 guest wedding. We are wanting a wedding weekend with just our immediate families and his best friend as the officiant, which will be exactly 20 people (I have a large family lol). We know it will be amazing no matter what BUT how can we make sure the evening of the actual ceremony still feels like a wedding and not just a party?
I am doing a 15 people..almost elopement (but make it county park with food-honestly considered eloping but couldn't justify the price of venues, hotel prices for guests) micro-wedding. My problem rn is.. I hope my wedding doesn't look like a birthday party (alarmed because my FMIL tried to insist on wearing a black summerdress with a dotted duster (to a NOVEMBER in NC wedding) and didn't see a problem with it since its not a black tie event). We are saving a lot (thank you Jamie) as we are hiring a local photographer & florist she recommended (and is actually friends irl) that do smaller weddings (elopement packages, has done just the bouquet, etc). For food I am having 2 food trucks to deliver (because..there's not much to serve..lol) and getting our cake from Publix(love cake but not into fancy decor), oh and we are RENTING a ton of our decor! I am considering ordering donuts (and have the donut wall) and cupcakes, maybe tarts and have a dessert table..so that it doesn't look like a birthday party with just the cake..my husband thinks that's too much..is it? :( I understand where he is coming from but I feel like I might regret not having more desserts (honestly, even just for the photos).. We are not having drinks/dances because we are not into those things lol so this is like the last detail I need to make plans/reservations for :s
Hello Fellow November Bride. This is what my partner and I are doing: We’re buying a small 10” cake, and placing it on a white 2 layer cake stand to give it some height. The bottoms layer will be cookies, but we’re hoping it’ll feel like a wedding cake after adding a traditional topper and white sugar flowers (buying online via Amazon ).
I've been planning a wedding for under 100 people and not a single venue ive found and liked at all has under 125 as the minimum guests sooooo i guess im filling the list and hoping everyone comes?
Maybe you could look into alternative venues? Places which aren't used to hosting weddings but potentially could (if you pay for external table rentals etc...)
Love the idea of a welcome dinner for out of towers! How would you word it if you're not paying for them but they can still stop by to see you, like you mentioned in the video?
I havnt even booked our venue and I’m worried on the guest list. We want out immediate families and best friends kids there but not sure if our budget can cater for our casual friends kids. Have no idea if I can invite some kids and not all. Help!!!!
My wedding is in less than 70 days. We invited 50 but apparently people are seeing a plus one on the invites THAT ARE TOTALLY NOT THERE!! There’s been multiple people who were invited just that person and they have sending in RSVP’s with a date coming as well….. We don’t have plus one’s on the invite. This is small personal wedding. We don’t want strangers. How do we tell them DON’T BRING PEOPLE?!? 😭
Eloping with less than 20 people (including us) and I am on wedding day timeline #5 because me, the photographer, and the venue owner can’t seem to all agree on how that day should go..... and I am about to say screw it. You can keep the $500 venue booking fee and we’re just self solomozing in a park for free lol
My partner and I want a small wedding. The issue is my siblings and parents are 10 people without any additional friends (I only want 4 people I care deeply for) and my mother lost her mind that I was considering not inviting my siblings. I see my siblings multiple times a year and every other year for Christmas without fail. I am the oldest sibling and the 4th of 5 to be married, the youngest is the only one still unmarried. All my siblings have fulfilled the 'big wedding' requirement and we would rather spend the money on a honeymoon or honestly just not spend the money at all. Any advise on how to broach the concerns with my mother about the cost of having my siblings attend our dinner, threading the needle that one brother is in AA and we intend to have a full open bar at the restaurant. I would be more considerate of my brothers needs IF he had not had alcohol at his own wedding, but they also had a full open bar while he was in recovery.
Unfortunately I don't really have good advice. I'm in a similar situation and decided to elope because life is too short for my family's drama. We aren't even telling our families until after the deed is done. Only person who is going to know ahead of time is the attorney helping us with the prenup, lol!
We are having a hard time even reaching 60 people for our guest list. I worry if only like 50 come is it even worth the venue we got?! We are spending all this money and thank god our guest list is small but at the end of the day I’m like should we have just done this in our backyard??
I’m in the same boat, honestly some of the things we are spending a good chuck of money on is more for us than everyone else so it still makes it worth it!
Literally same we are looking at like 30 ppl now including me and my fiancé and we originally planned for atleast double that’s it’s crazy but with 2 months out we just have hope for the best it’ll be like one big family dinner
Our guest list is at 64 and at least 7 of them are plus ones. About 4 of them I highly doubt will bring someone. We are still spending the money because this is about us and for us
Yeah I struggled SOOO hard thinking I was going to do a small wedding, and it ended up being 96 people. And I really wish we just paid a little more and had 150 people at the first venue we saw. We used a recreational hall in the woods at my country house area, and it was a crappy shoot everyone says they had a great time but I haven't been able to make peace with it. Like for example the music didn't play when I came out, I literally didn't have music play when I the bride walked out, no one could be heard in terms of cousins siblings best friends bridesmaids OUR DAD's making speeches!!! It's so upsetting and everyone's response is "Well hey you're married now!" like as if my day didn't matter I wasn't a bridezilla I wasn't asking for much I really didn't need or want much I just wanted my day to go smoothly the photographer got a few good shots, but like I the bride rangled everyone family friends etc for pictures I did NOT get a pictures with my parents I repeat I didn't get a picture with my parents! I tried so hard to do a down the middle so I could afford a house one day. And like I thought of this like we did the courthouse first in our home state and then drove a few weeks later to my country house to do the wedding with more people. And to be honest like the courthouse was the best cause we went to a resteraunt and had a blast and I wish we'd just rented out that resteraunt had friends and family come there, and enjoy it there and have a DJ there and such and a photographer I almost wish I could have a do over.
My godmother is trying to insert herself into my life and hints around that she’s expecting an invite, but her and my mom are not on good terms and I feel she’s a narcissist that will cause major drama whether I invite her or not. Like she’ll either ruin the wedding if she comes or will have serious vengeance and there will be no amount of reasoning with her of why we wanted to cut our guest list down as much as possible. I just dread making any decision.
How do I get rid of a dramatic bridesmaid? I'm letting her pick her dress it's long so idc for shoes she is jealous because she can't walk with my boyfriend who is the best man she is very helpful with everything but every that the bridal party has to do she freaks out and makes things harder for me
😡wedding planning frustration: venues list their venue as BYO and then you visit the venue and they say it’s BYO from this list of 14 preferred vendors…..um ma’am that is NOT BYO……
We're eloping in a tiny way. Even a courthouse wedding with no guests and no witnesses is getting complicated (We already live together and in CA you can get a confidential marriage license with no witnesses required to sign, just couple and officiant). Even though this is a courthouse civil ceremony only, our county will still make us wear masks for the ceremony if we do it at the courthouse. No outdoor option available. If it's so unsafe around here that we have to wear masks indoors then it's not safe to take them off for a kiss and then what is the point? So we are just going to get the license and find an officiant who will meet us outside at a park or someplace for a quick ceremony. Honestly, I'd be happy with no ceremony and just a freaking signature on the license and get this nightmare over with...
I always say: if you were to have a party at your house, who would you invite. Obviously 100 people can’t fit in your home. Who would you feel comfortable with having in your home? That’s who you invite to a small wedding.
omg this is brilliant.
We're doing this for our wedding after downsizing the wedding guest list twice (140, 80, to 39) now at 39 its getting tricky on cutting it down more.
Our family members can have aaaaaaall the opinions they want.
But if they're not paying for it, they can keep it for themselves :)
I always preach this in my videos!
I’ve been binge watching your videos and they are so helpful!
Amen!
We are planning a small wedding and the guest list will just be immediate family and friends. We drew a hard line and just said no extended family even if we want some cousins there because it just seemed less offensive. We offered our parents that if they wanted to host a separate party with the extended family we would absolutely attend. People don't like when you set boundaries in any capacity. That has definitely been the hardest part of wedding planning is advocating for what my partner and I want even if it offends people. I hope the culture is shifting towards people picking the type of wedding they want. Especially with how expensive life is.
This is so true. I'm proud of you for being able to have the backbone to do that! I am such a people pleaser, and overthink about EVERYONE'S feelings. It's rough but it's what's needed to have a better peace of mind.
@@thatmamakeyz65 Therapy has helped me a lot but I have a long ways to go. My family is super codependent so it's a struggle for sure! I tell myself that if they truly love me they will ultimately want me to be happy even if that doesn't match what they want.
@@brynna8619 Wow Brynna, That is very powerful. And I completely agree, your joy, peace and happiness exceeds all the expectations they have for YOUR special day. You and your husband deserve what memories you want to hold onto and not stressing the entire day to meet everyone elses expectations.
I think you just encouraged me to revise my guest list and cut it out the fluff of me trying to make everyone else happy. Thank you
@@thatmamakeyz65 Weddings are stressful enough! Best of luck to you ♥️
Thank u for this reminder. My mom is adamant we have to invite her entire side of the family.
I barely know them and always got compared to them. Filial Piety is bullshit
Our wedding was parents and siblings only! The day was about my husband and I, not anyone else. I just remembered our reason and tuned out everyone else. It’s your day, not theirs!
Also I did what made me feel comfortable. I spent the night at home with my husband, woke up and cooked a big breakfast the morning of our wedding. When people attempted to talk me out of what I wanted I reminded them…IT’S NOT YOUR WEDDING DAY! My mental space was very important to me that day so I did what made me comfortable.
my soon to be MIL asked over and over and over "where are you getting ready?" We were blessed to buy a 2 story house with 4 bedrooms and garage. We intend to wake up, have breakfast, walk our dog and have a nice cup of coffee. Then the entire bridal party, hair girls, MUA's, groomsmen and videographers will be here to start getting ready and have First Look in our front yard. Ive told her this 5 times. She keeps insisting her son needs to sleep somewhere else, get ready completely separate locations and not be around each other until the First Look. After repeating myself and finally adding "thank you for your concerns but stop, I dont need any help planning the morning timeline" she stopped. Maybe we'd be traditional if we didnt have a house but we do and we want to that "quiet" time together before the chaos. it was a hard pill for her to swallow.
@@teresaortiz2027 Yes! Do what makes you both happy and comfortable! In the long run you’ll have those memories and your family won’t even remember who slept where.
I had a 12 person wedding and it was amazing! Brother in law was the photographer, sister in law officiated, spoitify playlist for a DJ, grocery store flowers, and a FANTASTIC restaurant that provided the cake and decorations. It was more of a dinner party vibe. Did the first dance but otherwise no dancing. Pretty much no stress. Small weddings are best!
I was talking to my mum about wedding plans and no matter what I said she “would’ve never done that back in the days, you’re gonna offend your family members” - I’ll keep it small, I don’t have to invite my aunts and uncles who I don’t even talk to just bc they did that in the 80s ✌🏼
Just had a 30 person wedding about a week and a half ago. The minimums were definitely the hardest part. We live in a major city and still had to travel 1.5 hours outside the city to find a venue that worked for us that wouldn't charge us an arm and a leg. We ended up a restaurant that also does lots of small events (including weddings) and they charged us about 1/2 of what venues closer to home would have charged us.
Beyond just saving money on our wedding, it was great to be able to personally connect with every person there. We also got to do the thing that we hear most couples not getting to do at their wedding: we ate. Because we weren't being pulled in a million different directions by a million different guests, we had the time to eat.
I live in a major metropolis and everywhere I called within a 2.5 hour drive wanted a 100 person minimum. I couldn’t even come up with that many if we tried
I was wondering about that! I'm having a 35 person wedding and everyone tells me, "we weren't able to eat at all at our wedding!" from people like my brother who had at least a 100 guests at his wedding. Glad to know this likely won't be an issue for me.
Please keep the small wedding content coming! I don't really have a big circle of people so this video is definitely helpful for me as I wanted a small wedding in terms of guest count but with regular wedding amenities such as a venue, decor, floral, etc. Personally, with the all in one inclusive venues, I'm not a fan of because I would like to have a little more freedom with the vendors I want or they aren't available everywhere ( the type of venue I'm looking for usually isn't all in one ). I love the small wedding content so more videos like that would be so helpful!
Minimums!!!! Ugh. Killed me. I couldn't believe how many businesses would turn down my money! It made me feel so sad and unimportant. I had 25 people at my wedding and I did almost everything myself. It turned out amazing! I wouldn't change a thing. But I wish I could have avoided those feelings during the planning period.
Aren't vendors willing to bypass minimums as long as you'll pay the full price?
@@Hetsupshut3 no lol. Money talks.
@@Hetsupshut3 Yes, but they certainly didn't want to do that. Of course venues wouldn't want to pay the opportunity cost of potentially booking a wedding where they could make much more money per event.
Wedding win: I was kind of at a loss on videographers. I just felt like I was seeing a lot of videos online that felt forced/unnatural, and I didn't want to pay for something I wasn't happy with. However, my fiance is Lebanese and has family in Lebanon who will not make it to the wedding. It would be great for us to have a video that we could share with both his family abroad and all of our friends and family as they are all very excited for us. Just last week, I stumbled upon a videographer who has a style that I LOVE. She is so artistic and reasonably priced, and her vision for connecting with couples and their story is something that really hits home with me. So glad we found her and can't wait to support her business through our wedding!
Who did you go with?
Literally 20 people including me & my husband. $3200. I diy'd as much as possible and was the most easygoing bride I know while still trying to have an actual wedding. The amount of pushback was so disappointing! I am happy that we had our beautiful beach wedding but if I had somehow known, we would have gone away on a real vacation and eloped by ourselves.
Amen. This is why I'm eloping next year.
I think this is a good question to ask yourself to cut it down - say hypothetically your house burnt down tomorrow and you don't have anyone else , could you/would you feel ok to rock up on their door and ask to stay for a couple days and would they say yes? If the answer to any of that is no or you have to think about it then they don't make the cut. Because if space is limited either by finances or choice then you want people who will support you at your most down and out - not just on this one great day.
We just didn’t tell family that friends were invited 😂😅 so they never asked “why can’t we bring xyz cousin, why can’t these 10 children come ect” (justifying that family should come before friends). Lmao what they don’t know won’t hurt em. Keeping the “in the know” crowd to a minimum is 🔑 to small wedding bliss
That's exactly what I want to do! I'm so over having to invite family and parents' friends we either barely talk to or worse, don't really socialize with because of some bad blood - JUST to save face and because apparently you have to invite everyone like it's a family reunion and not a special milestone for us both. Absolutely not on our dime. Even on our parents' dimes lol I'm not paying for an invite and a spot for Aunt Maria who we stopped talking to because she's a gossip and steals from family when she visits - just because she's immediate family. Nope.
My fiancé and I are getting married in December and we got engaged this October. Our wedding is going to be beautiful and perfect and we are spending about 500$. He is an organist and so we are getting married at his church job and his choir is singing with his boss, a bishop, marrying us. There is a bed and breakfast next door and the owner is in his choir and so our reception venue is free. I am wearing my mothers dress and I used to work at mens wearhouse and so my co workers are helping me get his tux for next to nothing. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. His aunt is making the cake and his uncle is a wedding photographer. The rings we got at an estate sale and switched out the stone on mine for a diamond by a church parishioner. We are so so lucky to have a community that roots for us and wants to help us on our big day :)
My husband and I planned our small wedding in 41 days and with a $2000 budget. We are so lucky to live in Las Vegas! I found a cute, simple chapel that had room for our 20 guests (just immediate family, his grandma, and our 4 friends/roommates). Everybody was visible in our photos and video. We rented a private room at an Indian restaurant and ordered a local cake. My brother’s friend set up our decorations at the restaurant while we were still at the chapel. We brought our own drinks (no alcohol, just glass bottles of soda).
I live in a rural area so I fortunately didn't run into any minimums for my 25 person wedding. Good notes about the dancefloor and lighting! I would agree. Some advice for anyone planning a wedding at a house or small venue - make sure you really think about the little tasks that need to get done and communicate/delegate accordingly. If my sweet mother in law had not swooped in, a lot of things would not have gotten done!
Maybe it's because I've worked on setting boundaries with my family for years, but I haven't had a lot of push back on my wedding planning. I can tell that at times my parents have been disappointed with some of our decisions, aaaaaaand that's they're feelings to resolve, not mine. Sounds cold, but it's true 😉
It also worked out that we live in Colorado and most of our guests are coming from all over the country and Mexico, so that took care of the extra people inviting themselves. A lot literally can't come because they don't have a visa, and a lot of others can't afford it. Again, sounds cold, and that's they're current environment and they gotta resolve their own feelings.
The moment someone has an opinion about the wedding I'm planning and paying for... is the moment I explode LOL.
I anticipated a mid-size, 85 person wedding, but we are now at a final guest count of 45. We definitely felt a lot of these. We didn't invite extended family (over 50 on just my dad's side). We ran into having hair and MUA minimums, and definitely felt family pressure to have a big reception after our later religious ceremony, etc., etc. It's been just as expensive as we initially anticipated and I definitely have been stressing
A good thing to do is not divulge guest lists or the planning and all that to anyone who is not needed to input THEIR opinions. It really isn't hard to be stern. Weddings are too expensive because of peer pressure and yes parent pressure. It's fair to be fair to yourselves. You can easily say to people that you are handling your wedding day and you want to be able to remember the experience and not break the bank. Think about it ,those immediate ones who love and care about you are the most important to attend. A suggestion could be to capture and collage some wedding pics and send to those closest who didn't make the list with the a caption saying " Congratulations to us please enjoy our pics of our special occasion lv us" people will be ok and excited to still in theory, be a part of your day. Your wedding will only be as perfect as you let it be.
LOVE the haircut
Not a small wedding but we're doing very simple florals since the venue is a garden- had to contact over 10 florists because so many had $5k+ minimums. FINALLY found someone with a la carte ordering and prices that fit our budget!
Holy cow, do people have opinions and expectations about weddings, especially if you're the bride! I felt so bad for my brother and my sister-in-law; the moment they decided on their wedding date, she got bombarded with "you've got to do this" and "you MUST have that!" and "no WAY a wedding cake can be chocolate!" and even "of COURSE you're having a reception - you're my ONLY DAUGHTER, how can you NOT have one??". The result was that my brother and sis-in-law spent way more than they had originally planned, were stressed out of their minds, didn't even enjoy their own party, got sick during the honeymoon, and took six months to recover. On top of all that, their album didn't come out the way they wanted it to, and even after five years later, they're still bitter.
When it came to my wedding, though, I got suuuuuuuuper lucky; I live far away from most of my family, and only my mom came over to help me out. Even though she respected my wishes, she STILL had some expectations, and we had to have some difficult chats. Best advice I got was from a seamstress I talked to: "when it comes to your wedding, you don't "have to" anything!". In the end, our original plans went belly-up because of covid, and we instead got a 13-people wedding that was absolutely everything I could have wanted and more. And the main driver for what came out to be the actual wedding? My absolute queen of a sister-in-law, who went after everything for me and made sure that, even though it was a tiny wedding, it still looked perfect.
I was so happy and grateful for what she'd done and about my wedding, I thought I wanted to do something to maybe hellp her remember her wedding in a more positive way. I asked to see pictures of their wedding (which I hadn't really looked through), and went over all the details and told my sis how beautiful and amazing everything was. If y'all got any ideas of what I can do for her, please let me know! I thought maybe asking if she has any favorite photos of her wedding that she'd like in a frame or something, or maybe I can pay to have her album redone?
I’m so glad we’re doing a small wedding. For our 30 person wedding, we rented our neighborhood community center! $350 each day for two days.
Not engaged yet but I always mention small wedding when talking to friends and family to avoid future dramas
Wedding win: Made myself go wedding dress shopping. Wedding fail: Every single dress has a plunging neckline which does not suit my tata's, my wedding vibe, or my MIL's vision lmao.
Could they not do a custom to close the plunge? My boutique offers customs on all of our gowns to suit the brides’ comfort.
I totally get this. I keep telling my fiance that I can work the corner to pay off our wedding while wearing one of these plunge dresses. For some reason the options are usually one of two: dress like a nun or a street worker. I wish you luck!
Lol. I had a 12 person wedding and everything still went to shit. Literally the only thing that got me through the day was my husband
Oh no😭
Sorry to hear that! How? What happened?
@@Hetsupshut3 I also wana hear, mine is in a meeting month, could learn from your experience
Oh my gosh! I can't wait for the $5000 wedding budget video!!!! I am struggling to make this work and that shocks the hell out of me!
I am right there with you! The venues around here are a nightmare. Every one that I have wanted I have not been able to justify the cost. All-inclusive ones have wayyyyy too fancy of food that you have to use. Other ones don't offer much but are still so expensive. Just found out the rental company I wanted to get chairs through has a minimum delivery fee of $2500! For 50 chairs! The venue has definitely been my biggest headache, I've been going back and forth for over a month now, it's stressing me out!
@@je7788 oh my gosh!!!! That is sooo ridiculous! How could they possibly justify that?! They are crooks out there. I try to think about how I throw parties for $600 or less, I know I should be able to rock a wedding venue for $5k!
I'm struggling meeting this budget even with CUTTING OFF gifted parts of it like our DJ, Cake and Officiant are all covered. I don't even want to spend thousands on a dress, it's the venue and catering that is hindering the budget the most!
@@thatmamakeyz65 I absolutely feel your pain! I think my biggest road block is that I want it to be very minimal and simple and that is making venues so hard to choose. Because I want to do my own decor, Harry Potter theme, but most places that provide decor don't really give you the opportunity to customize much at all. I want simple food but most places serve things I've never even heard of! That leaves restaurants or other forms of catering that mostly supply dinnerware but will they let me use my own and adjust the price. AHHHH! So many questions.
Also, I am going to get my dress online, I know it might be a bit of a risk but I will order in plenty of time and it's only $285. I am hoping even with alterations that I'd be mostly keeping a good budget there. Just a suggestion!
@@je7788 I love your suggestion to take a chance and order it online. It could go great or I just need to prepare for a good back up plan and return policy lol.
Also, HARRY POTTER!!!! Your day is going to be VERY MAGICAL! My family all made fun of me that I would probably have Mickey Mouse in the theme SOMEWHERE lol
But your so right, so many placed have standard decor items, extravagant dinners and extreme price tags!!!!! I need to see this $5,000 Wedding Budget plan, like yesterday.
@@thatmamakeyz65 I think the backup plans or just being prepared will make life easier, in all aspects! On that note, I'm prepared for some comments on my theme and general vision for the day. It's not going to be conventional at all in the grand scheme of things! But it's our day and only one day out of people's lives to suck it up and enjoy haha!
I am going with disposable dinnerware, fake flowers, no dj, just playlist, basically diy'ing 90% of it. The only thing I'm spending the most on is photography. I am opting to not have videography and instead am going to buy my own camcorder and assign someone or just set it up and let it record everything throughout the day. I just couldn't bring myself to spend my entire $5k budget on two things......The venue is a park, it won't be private but the host said most people are really good about leaving the party alone and it's beautiful. I'm going to practice and do my own makeup, I don't wear it anyway. We are going to cook our own food as well. And I'm going to transform a Costco sheet cake into my own wedding cake. It sounds like a lot but the reward of not spending upwards of a down payment on a house for one day is completely worth it to me. :)
OMG SO TRUE!! I have so many people upset we are having a morning wedding.
Win: I get to plan a wedding with and marry the most amazing person.
Fail: we both agree we should have just had a small ceremony with just the two of us.
My fiance and I are getting married in almost 5 weeks. We invited 25 people each unfortunately only 2 of my cousins from my original list are coming with their kids. I decided not to invite my uncles and aunts to be a drama free wedding. I added one more cousin and his family that lives far away that will try to come. I hate making someone travel over a day just for my wedding. I was really hurt when my guests declined and some flat out never responded. One of my cousin's husband even blocked me. I had sent my cousin via messenger the save the dates and the invitations, I had invited them both to the fb event private page. At first I didn't want to invite anyone on my side did fear or rejection and drama. Sad that it became true. I'm getting over that now. I'm an introvert and don't like big crowds. So far we have 34 people coming (including guest's children). We don't think our wedding will exceed $4000. Most of the cost went into my wedding dress, accessories for it and alterations, then the church venue was close second but it includes reception area. We plan to have pizzas delivered because it's cheap and easy. We are going to have a cake made by a grocery store. I opted of florals all together because I feel like it's a waste of money. I would much rather save that money towards a future honeymoon. I did get 2 wood flowers bouquet from sola flowers for my maid of honor and me that turned out amazing and looks real. I'll get to keep mine for years to come not just one day. I'll do my own makeup. My hair will be done for about $35 by a hairdresser that my future step mother in law offered to cover. For decor I am reusing some of my fall existing fall decor. Our venue prohibits alchool, smoking and live candles. Some guests might not like that but they were warned. I didn't want to do paper save the dates and paper invites but we did for the 5 elderly guests. It cost more because most places only sell those in 25 qty. We didn't do favors, guest book etc because those little costs add up. We did hire a photographer for 3 hours (1 hour is photographer getting ready and taking stuff down). She has several years of experience and only charged us $600 which is really affordable. we planned this wedding with us in mind, we are simple people and don't need much to be happy. I'm just glad that after nearly 4 years of dating on we will get married on our dating anniversary.
@@bookwormbon482 @Bonnie Brown it went great. We only ended up with 19 guests. Because one person couldn't come due to their child being sick and someone had a coworker who had Covid so she didn't come. Some people were no shows. We ended up having to buy some fall decor before my existing decor somehow got wet and got ruined in the garage. It was nice intimate wedding and reception. It only lasted 4 hours and half but it was nice. The pictures turned out great and we had a great time.
We did immediate family only (parents, siblings, nieces/nephews)-- 20 people total. Luckily it was in a backyard so we didn't have to worry about venue. We did it "big" as far as decorations, food, photo, etc. for just our small group and it was awesome. I LOVED our small wedding and would do it all over again in a heartbeat! That being said- I have some extended family that were extremely upset and offended, to the point of completely changing their relationship with me and my parents. Friends and most extended family, on the other hand, were extremely supportive and truly happy for us. My now husband and I are so happy with our choices and are glad we stuck to our decisions. At the end of the day it's your wedding and you can literally do WHATEVER you want, WHATEVER makes you and your partner happy. You can share pictures and videos and stories with everyone who couldn't attend later!
We decided to split our wedding day into a wedding weekend with two smaller parties - one for family and one for friends. This saves us from having to rent a big hall that can accommodate 100 people all at once, and we get to spend more time with all the people we love on each day. We're doing a family BBQ style day (with a small quick "ceremony") on day 1 and an open house style party with friends at a local brewery on day 2. Sure, our friends won't be there for the actual "I do"s but they know what happened and they're still there to celebrate it with us! We made this decision to save money and save us the stress of meeting all the expectation that come with having a traditional wedding and we are SO EXCITED for it.
Me with my originally 70 ppl wedding to now 30😂😂 my small guest count but have given me the MOST problems (refusing to rsvp, a million and 1 requests 🙃)
My husband and I had a VERY small wedding for Filipino standards that we planned within 2 months. It helped so much that I had been watching your channel for years that we already knew what we did and did not want for our wedding. We were able to set boundaries around others' expectations around how our wedding should be and (thankfully) had very little drama around it.
Paused @ 12:15. I have to say, T-Rex cake toppers sound adorable.
Please do a talk on 2nd or subsequent weddings. A lot of our issues are a bit different, especially if our first wedding was years ago and we are astounded at how the different the industry is now.
I'm in the very beginning stages of planning a 40 person destination wedding. This video was very helpful!
We had a guest list of only 40 people and it was just as stressful as if we had 200. We still managed to spend $25,000 and 3 months post wedding I'm still getting "why wasn't I invited???" and still getting the opinions! The wedding has been over for 3 months like everyone let it go! My biggest thing was"you're not having dancing? What are we gonna do?". We had a photo booth, ballerina performance, full open bar, rehearsal dinner, and post wedding brunch to make it a fully inclusive experience.
Did you enjoy the day itself? How did it go with the no dancing? Still thinking about dj or not
@@thaladiescorner9989 no, to be honest I really didn't even enjoy it. There were parts that were good but, it wasn't worth the stress
@@brandymalinovski3212 thanks for replying, sorry to hear that. We sre also planning a day after brunch/bbq for the full experience but so many doubts and planning. But maybe Dj is a good idea to dance the stress sway
our wedding will consist of mostly young people so we're going way unconventional and just setting up a projector, a screen, and a big seating area where everyone can be intimate and doing video games (that are meant for multiple players like mario kart) and karaoke for the reception (after dinner) 😛 i didn't want it too feel too stuffy and have it just be a fun casual time with friends, plus it's a less than 25 guest list and i know a lot of the people well. i'd rather just have a fun time with them in the way we bond best 💖
A wedding guest list should never be discussed to everyone. I once coordinated for a good friend for a home wedding and my first question was how many people (second was budget)and my friend said oh I guess about 100 people. After my 2nd question regarding budget I re asked her to reconsider the guests. I asked her count immediate family and immediate parents, her and his children and forsure immediate family like some very close cousins then I had her count closest friends meaning those who are diehard friends (known for years) and last to count was significant others of everyone. We got the number down to 60 and planned food , tables, drinks and so on and who showed up was about 30 people. The problem was the guest list inflated due to others family members input because the guest list.. it was discussed. My overall count would have been fine at 40 guest. One thing to remember is to trust your planner trust them. A small wedding is a small wedding. Let it be memorable with those who truly love you.
Loving the hair, Jamie 😍 looks so cute and fresh
Wedding win: We've had a lot of financial support from our families.
Wedding fail: My coordinator service just switched coordinators on me 2 weeks before my wedding. I haven't met the new coordinator nor has she seen my venue. Kind of freaking out about that lol
wedding win: found a venue that included food, drinks, officiant, coordinator, tables, flatware, glassware, ceremony site, reception site, dressing suites, and a honeymoon suite for under $8K! All we need to get is a photographer/videographer, florals/decor (probably DIY), and our apparel :)
I am planning a small 26-person guest list (including me and my fiance HA), so this was a great video!
Call me selfish but I've always wanted an intimate wedding, kinda small (60 ish guest) but I do not care who's feelings I hurt (respectfully). Although this is a special where two families are coming together, at the end of the day it is about me and my fiancé. I am in the process of planning my destination wedding and I was set and stone that I was not going to be inviting family members I say hi to like 3 times a year or only see during the holidays and no I am not sorry about it. I will not put my feelings below someone else's, it just doesn't make sense to me.
Haha I sooo feel this! Looking to get a party of 50 together in a big family and I am hesitant of that conversation with my 100+ family! We cannot afford/don't want to invite that many people!!!!
Great video with so many truths. One thing she doesn’t mention is how small weddings can = short term planning. I’m hoping to have a NYC reception only wedding this November (6 guests). Finding the right size venue with good food and style was hard, but we found 3 options. The catch… they all want to wait until 6-8 weeks before the desired event date to confirm the booking. How do you plan florals/photography without a solid date! I’m a bit worried some things wont be available or will be more expensive since It’ll be last minute
Really? That's kind of odd. I haven't seen that I wasn't able to select a date I wanted regardless of my guest size. But maybe that's because I wasn't going for venues that specifically catered for small weddings and just regular venues instead?
YOU CUT YOUR HAIR 😍😍😍😍😍
Our invited numbers were kept under 80 due to COVID restrictions, but we ended up with about 52 total on the day. The only issue we had with limits was a few extra people pulling out too close to the day so we had to pay for their meal either way.
We invited around 70 people, not really intentionally keeping it under that number but trying to only invite the people we really would want there/close to and “knew” would show up. Ending up with roughly 60 saying they are going to be there. I think it will be a great number (one month away from my wedding date!😮), it’s not too big or too small and we kept the food budget at a good price with a more high end option. Luckily we were able to find vendors that didn’t have any minimums so that wasn’t an issue but also DIYing the drinks, venue decorations, invites, DJ and no wedding planner. It will be a little less traditional and more relaxed vibe hopefully but that’s what we wanted-less pressure to be so formal and more PARTY!
I had a very small wedding----just 30 people. My husband had just re-enlisted in the Army (it was the only job he could find that would support us) and we had to throw a wedding together quickly, so we'd be married by his report date and qualify for post housing. It was a sweet wedding and family and friends pitched in to help with the cake, flowers, decorations, photography and food for afterwards. It was not the wedding I'd dreamed of, but it taught me that the wedding is only an hour long and one day out of your life. You have the rest of your lives to be married and that has been my focus. I have been happily married to my husband and best friend going on 32 years. Sure, it would have been nice to have the big white dress and walk down the aisle as the center of attention with a couple of hundred people to witness it but who is your wedding for? Is it to show off to your girlfriends and people you barely know or is it to be with the person you love?
I love your hair Jamie. So pretty
My wedding is in about a month.
Wins:
*My dress still fits after buying it 2years ago and gaining weight.
*We found an amazing live musician that we can afford 😮
*Foods amazing
Loses…lemme keep those to myself for now. What we focus on, we attract. Lemme first attract my dream wedding with 60 guests excl us then reflect.
PS :
I could not have been so chilled without Jamie. When it all gets too much. I binge watch JW in bed with popcorn or on the couch.
Jamie you have been a lifesaver,a digital shoulder to cry on and always there to deliver the proper food at the proper time.
Wedding Win:being able to marry my best friend
Wedding fail-everything else 😭😭😭 it’s been such a stressful time
Lol we are inviting 34 people to our nuptial mass wedding ceremony and then going to a private room at a snazzy steakhouse downtown . But weddings add up ! We are having people pay for their own dinner - and we are still going to be over 5,000 for everything. Our wardrobe and our wedding bands were the largest chunks of money AND the photographer/ videographer
The win: ordering bulk flowers and arranging myself (as MOB and again as MOG). Saved and had lovely abundant flowers!
The lose: using my own seventeen sets of vintage China and silverplate-about ten sets of cups and saucers were broken/lost. But it was pretty!
Hi, Jamie. We have this idea of doing a private ceremony (literally me, him, the officiant) and a small (40-50 max) reception, no first dances, no same-day wedding video presentation (not our vibe). We're a generally mellow couple and so are most of our family and friends, but is it doable without it being boring? Do we need something like a dance floor wrangler?
Agree, if he or I haven't seen or spoken to you in the last 3yrs (because of the pandemic) you're not invited. Or make them Zoom only invite. My parents had less than 10 people, including the officiant, at their Jamaican wedding in 1969. She tells me all the time to elope.
Your hair looks so cute! Love it ❤️❤️
Hi Jamie, it's been such a long time since I've seen one of your videos, you are still such a powerhouse of positivity! Haha :) great vid xx
Excellent video, Jamie. Love your new hair.
I'm getting married out of state on a Wednesday. This allows for cheaper venue costs, cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels for everyone. plus, if people want to stay for vacation they have their weekend open. Choosing an out of state, weekday wedding allowed me to have an open invitation wedding. I've already had some No RSVPs. our wedding is next June.
I’m having a 40 people wedding and the biggest problem is finding a venue that don’t have crazy high minimums. All our dreams venue were out of the question and we end up have a destination wedding instead.
Im like 200 😄 xx
My wedding list is at 43, 10 of those are kids :)
This September! Love your videos they are helping me and I totally relate!!!
Okay haircut! 😍😍😍👌🏽
Our reception was 60 people including me and my husband !unfortunately we had to cancel due to covid back in March of 2020 but thankfully planning it wasn’t too difficult. I didn’t invite my fathers side( we aren’t very close) and budgeting was a dream knowing we didn’t have to spend an enormous amount of money !
Amazing advice as always! Also your hair looks amazing!
I think my wedding win is the same as not - I'm excited that it's getting closer but also nervous that it's closer and still so much to do 😅 😬
I love your hair like this!
I want a small wedding because I don't see the point of inviting great aunt Peggy that I haven't seen since 2001 to the party. If she's even alive...😳Problem is to convince my fiancé who is usually economical that we can't invite all of his 35 cousins on top of his 20 immediate family 😂
I was going to do 300 guest and dropped it to 60 guest 4 months before my wedding date. We're having our ceremony during dinner time. 6pm-10pm private dinner after ceremony same place. After party (city downtown).
I just got engaged in front of my family. 3 minutes after I said yes, my grandma started on about how my great aunt will be offended if she’s not invited. Lord help me
First comment and biggest fan thanks for EVERYTHING! 💜🤟🏻
It would be amazing to get some advice on a 20-25 guest wedding. We are wanting a wedding weekend with just our immediate families and his best friend as the officiant, which will be exactly 20 people (I have a large family lol). We know it will be amazing no matter what BUT how can we make sure the evening of the actual ceremony still feels like a wedding and not just a party?
I am doing a 15 people..almost elopement (but make it county park with food-honestly considered eloping but couldn't justify the price of venues, hotel prices for guests) micro-wedding. My problem rn is.. I hope my wedding doesn't look like a birthday party (alarmed because my FMIL tried to insist on wearing a black summerdress with a dotted duster (to a NOVEMBER in NC wedding) and didn't see a problem with it since its not a black tie event). We are saving a lot (thank you Jamie) as we are hiring a local photographer & florist she recommended (and is actually friends irl) that do smaller weddings (elopement packages, has done just the bouquet, etc). For food I am having 2 food trucks to deliver (because..there's not much to serve..lol) and getting our cake from Publix(love cake but not into fancy decor), oh and we are RENTING a ton of our decor! I am considering ordering donuts (and have the donut wall) and cupcakes, maybe tarts and have a dessert table..so that it doesn't look like a birthday party with just the cake..my husband thinks that's too much..is it? :( I understand where he is coming from but I feel like I might regret not having more desserts (honestly, even just for the photos).. We are not having drinks/dances because we are not into those things lol so this is like the last detail I need to make plans/reservations for :s
Publix does wedding cakes that are quite reasonable
@@andreaelizabeth5494 Yup, thats where we are getting our cake from, we are just considering something in addition to that!
Hello Fellow November Bride.
This is what my partner and I are doing: We’re buying a small 10” cake, and placing it on a white 2 layer cake stand to give it some height. The bottoms layer will be cookies, but we’re hoping it’ll feel like a wedding cake after adding a traditional topper and white sugar flowers (buying online via Amazon ).
@@crispcut4916 you are placing your cake on top of a two layer cake STAND? That's pretty interesting & smart!
I've been planning a wedding for under 100 people and not a single venue ive found and liked at all has under 125 as the minimum guests sooooo i guess im filling the list and hoping everyone comes?
Maybe you could look into alternative venues? Places which aren't used to hosting weddings but potentially could (if you pay for external table rentals etc...)
Love the idea of a welcome dinner for out of towers! How would you word it if you're not paying for them but they can still stop by to see you, like you mentioned in the video?
I always think the day after brunch is awkoooo
Haha can I ask why? Because of the hangover? 😂
Adult time the night before heheheh 💀
I havnt even booked our venue and I’m worried on the guest list. We want out immediate families and best friends kids there but not sure if our budget can cater for our casual friends kids. Have no idea if I can invite some kids and not all. Help!!!!
My wedding is in less than 70 days. We invited 50 but apparently people are seeing a plus one on the invites THAT ARE TOTALLY NOT THERE!! There’s been multiple people who were invited just that person and they have sending in RSVP’s with a date coming as well….. We don’t have plus one’s on the invite. This is small personal wedding. We don’t want strangers. How do we tell them DON’T BRING PEOPLE?!? 😭
Jamie mentioned that she did a 15k wedding video. I can’t seem to find it. Can anyone help me with that?
Eloping with less than 20 people (including us) and I am on wedding day timeline #5 because me, the photographer, and the venue owner can’t seem to all agree on how that day should go..... and I am about to say screw it. You can keep the $500 venue booking fee and we’re just self solomozing in a park for free lol
My partner and I want a small wedding. The issue is my siblings and parents are 10 people without any additional friends (I only want 4 people I care deeply for) and my mother lost her mind that I was considering not inviting my siblings. I see my siblings multiple times a year and every other year for Christmas without fail. I am the oldest sibling and the 4th of 5 to be married, the youngest is the only one still unmarried. All my siblings have fulfilled the 'big wedding' requirement and we would rather spend the money on a honeymoon or honestly just not spend the money at all. Any advise on how to broach the concerns with my mother about the cost of having my siblings attend our dinner, threading the needle that one brother is in AA and we intend to have a full open bar at the restaurant. I would be more considerate of my brothers needs IF he had not had alcohol at his own wedding, but they also had a full open bar while he was in recovery.
Unfortunately I don't really have good advice. I'm in a similar situation and decided to elope because life is too short for my family's drama. We aren't even telling our families until after the deed is done. Only person who is going to know ahead of time is the attorney helping us with the prenup, lol!
We are having a hard time even reaching 60 people for our guest list. I worry if only like 50 come is it even worth the venue we got?! We are spending all this money and thank god our guest list is small but at the end of the day I’m like should we have just done this in our backyard??
I’m in the same boat, honestly some of the things we are spending a good chuck of money on is more for us than everyone else so it still makes it worth it!
Literally same we are looking at like 30 ppl now including me and my fiancé and we originally planned for atleast double that’s it’s crazy but with 2 months out we just have hope for the best it’ll be like one big family dinner
Our guest list is at 64 and at least 7 of them are plus ones. About 4 of them I highly doubt will bring someone. We are still spending the money because this is about us and for us
Worst wedding failure: I lost my ring :’(
30 at most is my guest list.
Yeah I struggled SOOO hard thinking I was going to do a small wedding, and it ended up being 96 people. And I really wish we just paid a little more and had 150 people at the first venue we saw. We used a recreational hall in the woods at my country house area, and it was a crappy shoot everyone says they had a great time but I haven't been able to make peace with it. Like for example the music didn't play when I came out, I literally didn't have music play when I the bride walked out, no one could be heard in terms of cousins siblings best friends bridesmaids OUR DAD's making speeches!!! It's so upsetting and everyone's response is "Well hey you're married now!" like as if my day didn't matter I wasn't a bridezilla I wasn't asking for much I really didn't need or want much I just wanted my day to go smoothly the photographer got a few good shots, but like I the bride rangled everyone family friends etc for pictures I did NOT get a pictures with my parents I repeat I didn't get a picture with my parents! I tried so hard to do a down the middle so I could afford a house one day. And like I thought of this like we did the courthouse first in our home state and then drove a few weeks later to my country house to do the wedding with more people. And to be honest like the courthouse was the best cause we went to a resteraunt and had a blast and I wish we'd just rented out that resteraunt had friends and family come there, and enjoy it there and have a DJ there and such and a photographer I almost wish I could have a do over.
you can have a do over
I cant believe ppl are actually getting mad that u cant afford to pay $100+ to cover their partying and food. 😅
My godmother is trying to insert herself into my life and hints around that she’s expecting an invite, but her and my mom are not on good terms and I feel she’s a narcissist that will cause major drama whether I invite her or not. Like she’ll either ruin the wedding if she comes or will have serious vengeance and there will be no amount of reasoning with her of why we wanted to cut our guest list down as much as possible. I just dread making any decision.
i only know like 20 people and i dont like 10 of them i dont think ill have a problem with who to invite
How do I get rid of a dramatic bridesmaid? I'm letting her pick her dress it's long so idc for shoes she is jealous because she can't walk with my boyfriend who is the best man she is very helpful with everything but every that the bridal party has to do she freaks out and makes things harder for me
i want 40 people my fiance wants 65 . ugh . no we dont need random highschool frined you havent seen in 2 years
😡wedding planning frustration: venues list their venue as BYO and then you visit the venue and they say it’s BYO from this list of 14 preferred vendors…..um ma’am that is NOT BYO……
We're eloping in a tiny way. Even a courthouse wedding with no guests and no witnesses is getting complicated (We already live together and in CA you can get a confidential marriage license with no witnesses required to sign, just couple and officiant).
Even though this is a courthouse civil ceremony only, our county will still make us wear masks for the ceremony if we do it at the courthouse. No outdoor option available. If it's so unsafe around here that we have to wear masks indoors then it's not safe to take them off for a kiss and then what is the point? So we are just going to get the license and find an officiant who will meet us outside at a park or someplace for a quick ceremony. Honestly, I'd be happy with no ceremony and just a freaking signature on the license and get this nightmare over with...
Stop talking seriously 🤦♀️💀