Never Become Someone’s Option (You Deserve More) | MJ Harris
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- čas přidán 7. 11. 2017
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About MJ Harris:
Malcolm “MJ” Harris helps you live your best life emotionally, romantically, and financially - and he makes you laugh alot! MJ is an internationally recognized lifestyle and business influencer who has been featured by Oprah, USA Today and Black Enterprise. He has a global reach of over 20 million people each month - across social media and TV. In addition to this, he is the CEO and founder of National Care Financial Group, which is one of America’s largest African-American owned financial services firms. MJ’s rise began when he started creating empowering and aspirational digital content about lessons learned from his path of achieving success after overcoming a childhood surrounded by abuse and addiction. Through his videos, online courses, and live events, he created a loyal global fanbase and quickly became a powerhouse in the self-improvement industry.
#MJHarris #Dating #Advice
If a man tells you he isn't ready or doesn't want a relationship BELIEVE HIM
Facts
YES. Say thanks for being honest but I don't have Time to waste.
It was too bad I didn't believe him when he told me that. I thought it would change and I gave up ten months of my life before I got it through my head.
true dat
Yes!!!!!!🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤truth x
The same dog 🐶 that can lick your hand can also bite it 😂😂😂😂
Hello
Word
Lord have mercy! If I could go back and reclaim my time! 😫
Me too.😔
SAME, a jerk is a good guy 80% of the time.
Girl you never lied!!!!
Anrica Easley Rightttt 🤦🏽♀️
Me too
Never ever again in my lifetime shall I ever give a man more than he gives me! He must meet or beat everything I offer! #CatchMyVibes or #BoyBye
I agree
Yesssssss!!!
Period.
Yup! That's The SPIRIT, Queen! 💖👑💛✨
I agree i am fed up of these men
I wasted 3 years! Now I have anger with myself because I knew who this player was and still gave him the best of me... I'm trying to heal and being nice with myself 😣
Paola A understand so well, but I am happy you realize you can do better
Don't be mad or bitter just let it be a life lesson learned. Now! you know what you want and don't want moving forward~
We are in the exact same ship! 💖
Me too.
7 years here, but I know how u are feeling...luv this young man
"If a man wanchu, you're gonna have to slow him down"!!!! This is foolproof!
Thanks baby😘
Yes indeed
You’re like the relationship version of a church pastor. The way you speak all ur inflections etc lmao
One Take Twins I thought the same thing
Fr❗️
I’ve seen him say in another video that he used to be a preacher.
"a nice guy will hurt your feelings in order to preserve your heart!" DAMN!!!!
Fo Reels Girl.
MJ: “A NICE GUY WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOUR HEART”
💥
B Maxwell YESSSS!! Just like GOD will break your heart to save your soul!!
Greetings. I'm a heterosexual man, and DEFINITELY approve this message!!
His Teeth 🦷 are beautiful
Ikr!!!
EVERYTHING you've said here is the truth; at 45 years old, I can vouche for that. My mother always said to me, "If a man truly wants to be with you, he will climb mountains and walk through burning coals just to come to your side as quickly as possible." Also, I'm careful with the "such a nice guy" type, because those can be some of the most abusive and cruel people, once they've hooked you. I mean, Ted Bundy was a really "nice guy" and we all know what he really was.
The nice guys are the worst once they hook you. Going through this now 2 men in a row... I'm done! Focusing on me
@@nakeishahenry9261 those jerks are not nice they 're just narcissists
My dad said the exact thing when a man want something he goes hard for it. Nice can be Nicenasty.. tell it MJ. Don’t fool yourself in believing the ghost is real.
I watched your video during lunch today (near 1 pm) and broke up with my now ex “boyfriend” by 2 pm. Best decision ever, I feel soooo relieved. Going out with friends tomorrow and going for the first time to the gym with a friend Saturday morning. I feel so free and weirdly happy. I will be grieving this relationship but I do deserve more. Thank you so much 😘
Yessss
You go girl...
Well done!!!
DING, DING, DING! 1. You're doing relationship things, but HE'S NOT in a "RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU". 2. He can't give you a definite "YES" or "NO" answer to the question if he's seeing someone else. 3. YOU'RE AN OPTION!
NO SAMPLES!!!
Lord! Just now seeing this. Sure is an eye opener. Does not want commitment and still seeing others. YOU ARE AN OPTION! WOW!
4 to 6 months of dating with no talk of a relationship I'm gone.
@@NaturallyHERS ABSOLUTELY. More like 5 months for me! Nine months, NO WAY without confirmation of our status by month 5.
LHMJ, after several weeks passed, I came back and listened to this a 2nd time. I heard something else PROFOUND! DON'T LET THE WRONG MAN SATURATE YOUR HEART TOO LONG!
Just listened. Woke my butt up...with a broken heart, I'm moving on. You're right, I do deserve more. Been a year in a situation, can't call it a relationship, he didn't put the effort in as I did. Stepped back and saw everything in a new perspective. Thank you, for waking me up.
Same here!
Narcissistic men will speed up the process...known as lovebombing.
Yes and the way to weed him out is to slow it down and MAKE HIM TALK TO YOU! They will flee
truthhh
True! Beta males will do this as well.
You don’t need a nice guy you need a good man
Facts
Truth! Nice guys kill you with a thousand cuts... Took me *years* to accept this. I had patterns after patterns of putting up with different versions of nice guys.
🤯 mind blown
Yesssss
Nice women as well!!!!
"The same dog that licks your hand will also bite it" yeess speak it!!
If a man says he's a nice guy...he's not. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Can I just say that it’s so fitting that I found this on a Sunday honey cause you just took me to church and snatched my wig off ok 🙌🏾
Facts!!
Uniqsol Goddess 🤣
Uniqsol Goddess I love your energy, sis!👍🏽
Uniqsol Goddess a shout and a dance!! You hear me!
He preach better than the preacher on the pulpit
I cried the whole time listening to this. Thank You for this.
Good Morning.. Crying is good. It is a release. Idk the situation, but I DO know this.. You are wonderfully AMAZING. You deserve to be loved completely and correctly. You are the prize to be WON!! Sending you all the love your hands and heart can hold.. Be well ❤
I felt like he has been seeing my last relationship
you go girl- be a strong one!
Love ya'll
.......b..1
This is your ministry.
Heal? I don’t heal from No man... onto the Next!! Peace! 👋🏽 she should have made him one of her Options 😂
MomoSoulFul 💅🏽
TIME DOESN'T CHANGE ANY PERSON'S HEART! MJ, you are very smart and kind. God bless you!
Ended my 6 month “relationship” .. it’s been 2 weeks and I’m back to the dating game
No! Take some time off to get yourself together
Amen!! "There are plenty of nice guys breaking hearts!!" Whew. Broken hearts come from holding on for too long! Lawddddd that's a message
The 6 people that thumbs down this video really love their Mr. Wrong lol
April Showers those are the idiots that want to make ppl an option👌🏾
April Showers They can’t let go!!!!
@April Showers ABSOLUTELY! They're seeing the red flags left and right and constantly IGNORING THEM, thinking that they can change his or her mind.
Those are the nice guys who are mad that MJ revealed their behavior! LOL
I was in an on again and off again relationship with this man for 25 years. I was so in love with him. I thought I just needed to be patient and he loved me. He was not able to commit to me and was too much of a player. One day he would be hot and heavy. Calling / texting every day sometimes every hour. This would be followed by episodoes of being cold, distant and almost annoyed. He would sometimes just ghost me and disappear for days. It was so dysfunctional. There were too many games.
I don’t know how many break ups I have had with this man I can’t even count anymore. Many times I had relationships with other men. They were better looking, nicer and overall a better human being. I was somehow addicted to this fool and thought about him constantly. I thought to myself I just need to erase him from my mind with someone else. I finally woke up one day and realized that being with this man would only lead to heartbreak and disaapointment. There is no getting better. It would be best to move on so I finally did. It wasn’t easy but had to think of my emotional and mental well being. I deserve happiness.
I met someone else and this time I decided to do something differently. I would stay with this new man and not drop everything because that mental case called or texted me. i have left many boyfriends and lovers because of him. I thought to myself. Why should I be an option ? Dont I deserve better ? Why does this man treat me so badly ? I now live with my partner and can tell you I am much happier.
He of course found out through mutual friends and started calling and texting me again.He asked me what I was doing and that he missed me. I told him I don’t have 25 years anymore to give and I had moved on without someone else. He calls and texted me constantly. My responses were brief and lacked any thought or energy. If I get a message such as I miss you. My response would be not more than a few words like ok, yes, no and maybe. I haven’t totally forgot but am glad I am off that self hating ride.
Thank you MJ your stories really resonated with me. Alex
5530alex your first relationship was a narcissist and they always use and abuse you then ghost and discard. I am glad you moved on and found someone better. You should cut off all contact so he can't contact you anymore (your ex) and block his calls and texts, block his phone number!!!
What pains me is all the men I said no to bc of his lies.
5530alex Regrettably, this was a case of "HE DIDN'T WANT YOU" and "HE DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE YOU". Truly, a PIECE OF WORK! I pray you are really done with this SELFISH POS. You might need help getting over this man if this toxic relationship has gone on for 25 years.
Honey do yourself a HUGE favor unless you have ties with this man like children with him PLEASE block him and delete his phone number period end of sentence!!
@@soniagonzalez4565 Hardened criminals don't do this much time for the crimes they've committed! So sad that she has WASTED the best years of her life on this playah!
They maybe handsome..good..kind ..nice and fun to be with but still not right..qualified or ready to commit.~
TOOK IT TO CHURCH!!
He sure did especially about that "nice guy"!
FACTS!!
Truth!!
Brokenness comes from holding onto something you have no business holding on to. Quote of the month . Say it MJ!!!
HERE'S THE THING, CYNTHIA
This is true I held onto a “good person” who treated me like I was worth the minimum amount of effort for 4 years and it’s 5 years later and I’m still trying to reteach myself my worth and what i really deserve. Fix everything he ruined in me. STOP trying to make it how it was or how u wish it was. LEAVE, BLOCK, LOVE YOURSELF
Wow, I could have used this message about 10-11 years ago. It is still relevant today, though. Love this message.
Mister MJ! Love you love you, you are amazing learned a lot from your videos...keep doing wht you do 🤩
It is like the word of God. It never gets old nor change. It wil be helpful generations after generations
Breaking up with a person in person only give them the opportunity to use word salad on you. It's a waste of time
Word salad I like that analogy 💯❤
FAXXXXX!!!!!
I resonate with this. I just ended a 4 month situationship. He wasn't ready to commit. Am ready to. Pour into myself and attract a king 😎👑
I don’t think we realise how much it physically affects our body medically when holding onto to something that doesn’t want you back the same way.
Makes one sick, I am first hand experiencing this ….. it’s brutal. Get out while you can! ❤
He couldn't put it better
A nice guy hurts your feelings too preserve your heart
And tells you the truth
I don't want a relationship
Go find a man who will love protect and cherish you
A true gentleman
M j doesn't just have a gorgeous face eyes teeth and skin
But a great sense of humour and a ability too tell the truth from his beautiful heart and soul
God bless xxxxkisses
My yoga teacher read a quote that basically said It is not impermanence that causes us to suffer but when we hold onto to things that are not meant to be permanent. After recycling this same type of experience due to me not learning the lesson universe was trying to teach me, I FINALLY broke this cycle. I was presented with the offer to enter into a situationship after our attempt at a relationship failed. At first I was thinking about it and even said maybe one more time for closure (bull💩). I woke up early that morning after making that arrangement and thought to myself, HELL NAH! Why the hell would I give you that wonderful part of myself and you don't think I'm worthy of a relationship? You have. I mistreated me, lied to me, ghosted me a couple times, and disrespected me. F#$@ you! I sent him a text and basically said I'm good love, enjoy. ✌🏾Not angry, not nasty, just a peaceful goodbye. I felt soooo good and empowered!!! I then realized that I hadn't been loving myself. But it's a new dawn, a new day. I say that to say this, attachment is the root of all suffering. Learn to release people with light and love. Wish them the best on their journey, take the lesson you learned and keep on moving. Don't force 💩! I ❤ this video! I'm a big fan and watch your videos daily. Thank you!
Love it! I've never and never will be someone's option. I love me some me boo!
You speak with so much conviction that tears are flowing down cheek because I can relate to this story. I am hurting so much that I wish you were just a phone call away. I need a friend that can listen to my story.😔
Ok! I never thought to just date to boost my confidence. I will do just that. I've been alone for far too long.
I’m going to start calling you pastor MJ because you just preached that sermon ‼️
I wish I could hit the like button a thousand times!! Love it!! Love it Love it!!!
And yeeesssss thats exactly what you do when you go through heartbreak. LOOK YOUR BEST! DO THINGS TO BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE! THE RIGHT PERSON WILL COME ALONG!
😘👏👏👏👏👏yes!!
“A nice guy will hurt your feelings, to preserve you heart!”.... preach black man!! Truth
Him saying to write down or record yourself talking why you ended it made me break down crying. This made me feel like I just broke up with a guy I didn’t even have
I want to like this a thousand times🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Me too!!!
You are a beautiful human being sir!!
Wow, thank you!
MJ Harris, my pleasure 😊
At today years old, this so resonates with me, with all that has happened in our 7year relationship and now to say to me okay let’s heal our trauma and let’s see if you’ll get back together from separation. Silly me wants to wait, RIGHT!!! Let’s see what therapy brings.
Ham mercy!!! I need this right about now. "Time does not make him ready" "When a man knows what he wants, you will not be able to slow him down ". You stepping all on my toes.
Omg! I so love you, MJ. This is such a wake up call not only for women, but for everyone who’s stuck in limbo with someone who isn’t sure about wanting a relationship with them.
Put that phone number in some water and freeze it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What if he lives in the apartment downstairs, you have his number memorized and you can't afford to move?
I WANTED TO SAY AMEN AFTER EVERY SENTENCE!!! You knocked SENSE into me! I watched this because I was trying to understand why someone who showed interest in me who I liked ALOT suddenly went cold and I was pissed about myself because I would tell my own friends to drop it FAST! And yet here I was!!! YOU HAVE REALIGNED MY CHAKRAS AND NEURAL PATHWAYS!! I was like yeah !! Yes ! Amen!! Yes!! Amen!!! HALLELUJAH ! Lollll this is so real!!! 😩😩🤣🤣😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 THANK YOU!!!!
Yes the 9 months is what struck me
She has invested time into this man for sure
Great topic MJ
I love the analogy of the casting call 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Holy moly I got my answer loud and clear
And No you can't be friends‼️💯
Took me a whole 35 years to understand this thanks for the reminder 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
You are so darn cute and smart! Common sense off the charts. Wisdom out of this world! Sending you love & light!! ❤️
Soon as you said Cynthia from atl I knew it was going to be some bs....that’s how atl men are and the women allow it....I’m sure that man hasn’t been in a relationship for years but has had so many women.
This is my 1st time listening to him he's the dammn truth
I couldn't predict my boyfriend using his physical force on me. But I saw his huge pride cause him to get into fights with others. He didn't want to back down. Later, he pushed his mom down in her home, her head slammed into the glass door. She is 75. That was a wake up call that he will not ever change. I finally took the plunge and I left him. Since then I have never been happier.
Im an Option. I don't like it.
I am listening MJ
Yassss huntyyyy... you read straight through that "nice guy" behavior lol whew chile' 🙌🏽
Yes, I needed to hear this and quicken my spirit and heart to heal from the false love and care! Thanks!
Jacqueline Bonner yes!
Thanks this is so true but I bet I won't let no one make a fool out of me I am too happy to let someone come and make me unhappy
This is so relevant. Mine lasted 6 months ... ended it because I was so tired
Good. 4 to 6 months is long enough
@@NaturallyHERS absolutely! i really liked him but I am never going to settle again.
Lawd lawd lawd ... complete truth from beginning to end. I needed this ❤️
You need a man who's gonna cherish you, and not some nice guy!! PERIODT
MJ you really hit the nail on the head
LIKE I'M CLAPPING RIGHT NOW👏👏👏👏👏
Facts ! Preach ! If he not give him your time ! He is spending it with someone else ! ❤️💗💜
Aman! Aman! and Aman. You better say it! You had me running through the house.
I’m years late and not struggling in this area, but once upon a time I was and this is amazing advice!
This vid was 2years ago🥴But boy oh boy the message was right on time for me🌹🙏🏾
Thank you💜
I had a "nice guy" chase me, study me, go out of his way to ask for commitment with me, met our families, planning our futures....all the while he had a female friend in the wings simultaneously. Crushed me. He walked away so fast from me, who he proclaimed as his "dream girl"
Where were you 20 years ago? I love your honesty and your passion!!!!
I wasted 5 years being someone’s options. I finally let it go because I had to realize that he is not in to me like I am to him. I broke up with him a few months ago and I wanted to go back but he friend zoned me. I already knew but hearing this has opened my eyes even more.
My name is not even Cynthia, but I felt this message!!! My goodness!!!
I was in a relationship like that, I was so blind for years, and the thing was he is married. yes MJ married.
MJ don't sugar coat, he is real,be a priority not an option,I experienced it from the past,thanks MJ great advise.
where were you all my life i would've prevented so much heart ache ,but all in all i dumped him
This one of the best videos I’ve ever heard and seen. My gawd preach Pastor!!!
Yes...I just love love this messsage!!!!
"He don't need to respond" 😂🔥🔥🔥🔥 love it
I needed this! Thank you.
Yes yes and yes!!!!!!! I’m so blessed to have found you 💖
Yaaasss!!! Needed to hear this!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯
That is Friend Zone Hell on the heart
THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE. KEEP IT UP
She giving wifey privilege's
MJ, you are the best !
I just shared this video to my friends!Love it!!!!
I appreciate you!!!!
You know you are PREACHING the TRUTH...Thank You!
How the truth hurts sometimes 😔......but thanks MJ
You taught me so much, love you!!!
Thank you Cynthia for your letter!
Heyyy gorgeous...you are a Star ♥️ I've finally got my stuff together now...I feel more confident about myself and I'm doing fun things to make myself happier now...it seems the serious marriage minded guys are coming around now. You are very valuable my friend. God loves you🍒
Thank you! I’m learning so much from you!
Three months, that's all you should give someone to decide if they want to get with you or no.