How You know You Are Transgender??
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- čas přidán 13. 12. 2014
- Before you start transition one of the hardest things to accept is that you are actually transgender. In this video I go over some questions you may have if you think you maybe transgender.
For a future video I want to do a get to know me video. If you can please comment or message me a question that you may have about me that would be awesome!!
sorry for the audio and video size, I recently got new video editing software and I am still trying to figure it all out!
Thanks!!
Don't forget to subscribe!!!!
This actually really helps. I feel like I've been going through that back and forth experience between wanting to female and not feeling uncomfortable with being male, not really knowing what to make of it. I've been saying to my folks that I might be genderfluid and that I'm still figuring things out, but every time I go through one of my feminine phases I just feel happier and more confident with myself.
You're an autogynephile not a woman. Google it and stop wearing dressed in public
Get a grip go and see a specialist, this is not normal
@@martagibons4266 I did, and that's why I'm starting HRT next week.
Cope harder.
@@bboythekidstudios you can’t just become a female but taking hormones, what you are doing it’s actually extremely bad both for your physical as well as a mental health. To be a woman you have to be born one swallow the truth
Thanks a bunch.. With all the trans video's it's always the "I've played with barbies/wanted to wear dresses since I can remember" stuff and it confuses me a lot. It's nice to have found someone who has these same phases as I'm having. cheers x!
I cant afford HRT of any kind, yet I still wake up everyday and tell myself I am a female. and I will express myself on the inside as that I am on the outside.
+Aaron Dozier Where are you from?
Utah
Aaron Dozier Oh, okay. So you do live in the U.S. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act by Obama, health insurance companies have to cover HRT for trans people. If you don't have insurance, go to your local welfare office and check into getting Medicaid. Medicaid, along with most other health insurance companies, cover seeing a psychologist who specializes in gender therapy, it also covers doctor visits to the endocrinologist, as well as prescriptions for HRT.
Aaron Dozier you can buy 1 or 2 mg estradiol tablets at Walmart, cash price for $10.00 for a three month supply. It costs more if you use insurance in many cases. Get a prescription from your doctor after you get a letter from a gender therapist.
Actually, hormones are not that expensive. I'm on spironolactone, finasteride & estradiol and pay $22@month.
Jamie, what a loverly video. You know when you talk openly from the heart like you have you can not fail to touch many other hearts. xx
Why didn't I find this video earlier! I have been struggling with my gender identity for years now and I can absolutely relate to your story. THANK YOU!
Vince B Glad my video helped you! thanks for watching!
Lisa Carson I take home on pills I won't be a woman I want breast like a woman I want a vagina like a woman I want long hair like a woman I want to talk like women I want to wear dresses like women I want to wear a pantyhose like a woman LOL high heels like a woman
Thank you, this was so helpful! I've been doubting myself as sometimes I feel okay in my current body, but most of the time I don't....
Thank you for all the advise in this!
This video helps a lot! I am trying to get my ears pierced and I view that as another small “step” to transitioning. Thank you!
hey thought your video was extremely helpful really understood the feminine and masculine stages part i joined the marines kinda a rash decision got a year left when i get out iam going to transition myself but till then your video helped immensely so thank you
I'm FtM but this helped me out a lot. I think the visualization thing was most helpful. I always see myself as being very masculine when I'm older. Thank you, this was reassuring for me.
Thanks for your video!
I've finally allowed to be more open with my feminine feelings and my head and hart are in this constant brawl at the moment....your story (and others) gives more peace, thanks. :)
My gosh, just watched this video for the first time and it really nailed it for me. I had many of the same cycles; I knew something was "off" at a young age, but never knew what it was for a while. But as I got older, I began having dreams of being female, and it just got worse as I progressed through my teen years. By 15-17, I was suicidal on a daily basis because I couldn't be a girl. As I began college, I began to cycle through wanting to do something, followed by periods of heavy denial. It kept happening over and over until I finally decided one last time I was going to really "pull it off" as living as a guy. It worked for about 1.5 years, and I convinced myself I was a guy.....until it fell in like a house of cards on me one day. Fast forward a little over a year after that event, I started HRT, realizing I could not hold back the need to live as a girl any longer without detrimental or fatal consequences. My therapist actually asked me the same exact question about where you see yourself in 5-10 years. I could vaguely answer the one about being a girl. When asked about what I saw as a guy, I could not even muster a response to it. 7 months into HRT, my suicidal thoughts have all but vanished, my life has improved dramatically, and while sometimes I have some off days and little doubts I remind myself that I would never go back to that hell that was my life before.
The incremental step method you described played a huge role in getting me where I am today; little steps cumulatively led to me being where I am now and I am still amazed when looking back just how far I have come.
So eloquently explained in layman’s terms Jamie. I can relate to what you say and have been there, done that but only now doing diverging about it before my GD further tears me apart inside and destroys me. Loving your channel x
Hi Jamie, Thanks so much for your candid approach to this topic, I found your video very enlightening! I'm 64 and finding my feminine personality very much happier than the male. I was happy to hear from you that the feelings of being male or female kind of trade off intermitently, which is happening with me……
Anyway, thanks for posting this video...
Chris
Realize I am years late but want to say AWESOME video - helpful, thoughtful, caring
I wish I'd known you so much sooner because I relate to your story! I have always wanted to be a mommy.I grew up in the 1950's about the time an American GI named Jorgensen returned home as a woman.I've been closeted ever since! I wish you success in your goals.
Wow this is 6 years old but it really helped me with my current doubts. Thank you so much! 😊
Wow...your video is awesome!!! I am transgender MTF and really questioning my gender. I enjoyed your perspective! You look awesome, so beautiful!
Thanks! Great advice and guidance. ❤
This is a very helpful video! I watched a lot of Transgender clips, but this one felt really honest. You're awesome!
thank you, you said something I needed to hear.
At ~ 6:10, the advice about thinking too much about the future, it's great! I find myself in that tailspin of doom and gloom when I ruminate too much on it. Thinking about daily goals, for me, has been a huge help over the past 6 months, even from the very questioning stages.
Thanks for making such an inspiring video!
-Janelle
***** gee, thanks for telling me what to do with my genitals. I would have been lost, otherwise. 😉
this is the second time I've heard some say "if you're questioning if you are trans, you probably are trans" and it brings me to tears
I have seriously been going back and forth with my wife trying to figure this out for myself. I feel like watching your video and a few others that I've watched today have really given me a lot of insight. Almost everything described and your video and the others that I watched hits home with me. I said today for the first time out loud that I think I'm transgender. It felt really good, and my wife is 100% supportive and will be with me no matter what I decide. I'm so lucky to have her. And I'm so lucky that people like you make videos like this! Thank you so much I appreciate it more than you know. Are you by chance willing to share your email and possibly stay in contact with me your questions that my wife and I may have? The profile pic on CZcams is her by the way this is her CZcams. LOL
Thank you so much you have no idea how much better I feel knowing that it’s normal to go through those fazes thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!💖💖💖💖
just found your channel it's really helpful so far thanks
thanks for the reminder at the end about avoiding ruminating on the future
Thank you this was very helpful!
Yea, thinking towards the future towards what kind of person I will become is pretty much the method I used to determine whether or not I was trans - especially the part on the whole father/mother figure thing >
For those who watch your channel. My experience I've questioned it at a very young age. Explored dressing then it played dormant for years. Til I opened up to counselor and therapists. From then I had to reexploring that to get me where I'm at today. I did hang around girls a lot and couldn't really fit in with the other dudes. I was depressed,angry and in my head more than anything. Negative roominating. Claimed I like sports when in reality I didn't just used it as a excuse to fit in and try to have something in common to try n make friends but I was always left out. So I stayed focused on school work and not bother anyone. Which it kinda helped hide my feelings. Even sharing a bedroom with two brothers was tough. I would always clean it and they wreak it. Never appreciated. And when half sister would be at another relatives and or grandparents I would spend my alone time in her room. Because I felt safest there. I even tried going to gym and be friends with half brothers friends but in the end they was all fake to me. Even the dudes I became friends with eventually betrayed me.
Glad that was then and where I'm at now. Plus I love hearing how other individuals got to where they are at. So proud of my newly found sister. Know that we are strong people. I love you all.
I'm unsure on things myself. Like, for the last 5-10 years I have always had the thought in my head that I would rather be a female, but at the same time, nothing significant enough ever happened to push me to acting on it. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure that was mostly out of fear of my parents knowing. Feels like that for every "justification" for wanting to transition, there are just as many reasons to debunk that. For how long I've had the thought, I don't think its just some "phase" or "on a whim", but I'm not really sure I can come out with a reason other than; "Because I just feel I would rather be female". Like, I like to cosplay for anime convensions, but I always have a burning desire to cosplay as a female character. In my random free time, I'm always browsing heels and boots I like, fantasizing about owning some. Reflecting on myself isn't working so well. lol I honestly cannot tell for sure what I think. At every school I've gone to, at every job I've had, there has always been one person that would ask me if I was gay. And the more I dwell on that question, the more I begin to wonder even. I find woman attractive yes, but I find myself wishing I were them, rather than simply wishing I could date them. On the flip side, I'm not into guys per say, but I do find feminine looking males pretty cute. So I dunno. I'm trying to find a gender therapist to speak with, but it is proving difficult...
If you feel attracted to womens wanting those curves , the body everything maybe you are.
I'm a 15year old who has been struggling with my gender as long as I can remember. I wanted (and still do) to be male so badly when I was a kid but on the same time, I didn't want anyone to think that I was male, which still confuses me. I enjoyed when people called me a boy, but I didn't identify myself as trans. This video really helped me out understanding my behavior, thank you so much! :)
I love this video, and you!
I feel you hit too many sore spots in my own self identity- fair but close to the heart
2020 arrived; as the quarantine situation developed, I started to understand myself more with that alone time.
I have three parts to myself. It was during this time that I thought I had three personalities, two of them male and one of them female.
As 2020 continued, I decided that I (the initial part; male) would be willing to transition for Olivia’s sake. She was experiencing pretty bad dysphoria at the time.
Now, a year later, I believe that I’m trans, and it seems like I was dissociated from those thoughts of viewing myself as a woman so much that I assumed she was a alternate personality.
All that being said, I don’t know if I do actually have multiple personalities. Seeing a professional would be nice. Instead, I write comments like this every time I need to as a way to help me cope.
Hopefully this year will be better than the last.
I Literally did the exact same thing! they were Jules, Stone and Gatsby lol. I'm pretty sure I don't have DID but the concept of them being separate did have a legitimate effect on my life ha.
With me it seems to be completely fluid between the two genders depending on day to day changes of situation, people and all the other variables although tending toward female from male.Keeps life interesting !
Can relate to the swing between hyper masculinity and feminity so much u_u
And yes, time reveals everything :)
Hi,
I've watched a few of your videos now and felt like I need to share how I am after watching this one.
I started crossdressing not long after things got serious with my ex wife. I'd dress as often as I could while she was at work.
She found out, didn't like it and told me to stop. I did. For a bit.
Then things happened, I split with then wife and married again. I told now wife I crossdress and she ok with it to the point she actually does my makeup for me.
After a few kids crossdressing became difficult and the 'need' to dress came and went.
Recently the need to dress is very strong and I want to be more feminine.
I read in one of the comments about being able to be a woman without the complications, surgery and stuff but with a click of my fingers I'd definitely do it without a second thought.
I want to tuck all the time but not wear panties as this rouses the need to dress more and I don't feel comfortable wearing panties under male clothes. Doesn't seem right.
My wife knows that when I crossdress it's all or nothing. I look as fem and passable as I poss can or don't do it and sulk because it's a wasted opportunity to be fem.
I've feel I want to live feminine but not go all the way.
yet.
I've been trying to act and be more feminine subtly round others and in a joking way round wife.
I'd start HRT or something if it wasn't to expensive.
Sorry for going on.
Your vids are great.
x
When I take my daughters to target or Kohl’s I’m always glancing over at some of the clothing thinking but I would love to try that on,
I also thank you: I've been doubtful because of the "phasing". Like you, I'm not interested in surgery, but I'm intrigued by hormones. In any event, thanks.
Love your video. And omg. Your so beautiful 😆😆😆
Thanks for making this vid
Jamie i want to thank you soooo very much you have been more then helpful in helping me understand who i really am i knew something was wrong from a young age i would say age 4 when i first got caught crossdressing or when i wanted to play with dolls and would pretend i was a mom to my cabbage patch kids so i just want to say thank you again Jamie you are awesome and i love your helpful tips and videos
I relate with you on pretending to be the mom ❤❤
Every since I can remember I felt something was missing in my life and I noticed when I when to a trade school I was attracted to my best friend and I just never could tell him, that was a long time ago and to make a long story short I'm now 46 and starting hormone replacement therapy and can't wait!!
Please reply back..
I hope I can be as Beautiful As You 😄😄
I can completely understand that, ive been through the macsculine phase and right now im trying to get a therapist to start hrt.
Thanks for this. I have been struggling with the question of whether I am transgender or not. For years I have denied my feminine side; but when I realized that this was making me miserable, I just decided I must be a cross-dresser. But I have recently come to realize that I am beyond being a CD. Now I'm trying to work out the details and implications of what the future holds for me.
mjgmeg Yes, your story is very normal. I knew there was something different about me. Maybe I was gay I thought. It is a gradual process. I advise a trans support group, or a gender therapist. They will really help you straighten out your thoughts!!
Good Luck!
Lisa Carson I take home on pills I won't be a woman I want to bless like a woman I want a vagina like a woman I want long hair like a woman I want to talk like a woman I want to wear dresses like a woman I will wear pantyhose like women I want well high heels like a woman
You're so perfect. #GirlsLikeUs
this makes me think sooo much
thanks for the video I myself have been going through this all my life just trying to figure out who I am.I have been attracted to women's clothing and the way I feel when dressed up.I'm at peace with myself and then I have to go out as the men that I am. it's such a challenge to be what I feel or how I'm looked at so I just stay in the closet.it's so hard to stay true to me.
Keep up the good videos.
Forgive for being 'superficially judgmental', but, my GOD you're pretty! Just wonder if most mtf would prefer a relationship with a man or woman. If I were a bit younger, I would have no problem spending my life in a relationship, making her happy. I hope this came across in the right fashion.
Finally someone I can relate to.
well u nailed me by describing ur phases i think im trying to suppress mine all the time im look manly as could be mostly however im letting my hair grow and shaving things now and i go through phases where i dont wear boxers actually throwing them away it last for two months then have to rebuy not sure if its i feel guilty or something is wrong with me like why do i get these urges
I LOVE Your Videos
tthank you this was very helpful! hrt needs to be free for everyopne
Thanks for your story
I am currently at that "foundation" step. I had to pause the video to just realize how close that was to my current situation. Though I am wayy past the "how I know I'm transgender phase"
u r terrific. brave on girl.
I’m 31 started to feel like this I have autism and a transgender. Male to female going to start hormone treatment I want to be a woman you read me like a book. Telling my mom after New Years please keep me prayers. I want surgery and hormones. What’s also not helping getting kicked out less than a month. I always wanted to be a mother a little sister too
i don't have that problem either, my puberty never took, so i am really neither. i suffered a brutal bully in fifth grade so nothing progressed to becoming bigger.
well i feel the same way cause when i was 5 i would always talk like a girl or play with dolls and pretend i had long hair, but as i got older i feel masculine, but there is a feminen side to me when i wear makeup i feel as if i am suppose to be a female and i dont want surgery i just want boobs and good genetics run in my family. i don't wanna take hermones cause of the risk, so i feel very comfortable with who i am. your beatiful btw.
re: Buying makeup and clothes, the first time I did I felt slightly embarrassed, as probably many did. But over time as you visit stores more and more, you'll become more comfortable. Most times, the clerks don't care and won't make comment. And the rare times they do, they tend to shut up when you give them the look of death, staring them right in the eyes.
The more confident you are and become, the stronger you'll feel. And even when it's still hard for you, if you hold your head up and look back at the store clerks, they'll shut up. They didn't come after you to harass you, so they're going to be less confident if you confront them.
I figure a girl at this early stage would make up something to the cosmetic sales rep like she is buying it for her twin sister, or she is going as a drag queen for Halloween, or something along those lines.
thank you some much for this video this really helps me (:
I have all kinds of questions I've known I'm transgender since I was 3 growing up my favorite cousin and I played dress up I played with dolls hated my genitalia I wished and prayed I'd wake up a girl but didn't and I recently came out but haven't started the transition because I have a beautiful wonderful girl and don't want to lose her so should I continue to be miserable as I am or sacrifice and make the transition ? Hmmm what to do
also Jamie i was wondering if you had any tips on choosing my female name i see myself as transexual cause i want to go on HRT and have more of a female figure but anyway my name (obviously lol) is Cameron (my male name) and my female name ive been thinking of Kamryn what do you think? would love to hear your opinion thanks Jamie
That is what I do everyday. I convince myself that I am a woman, when I knew from very very early on that I was a boy. Constantly being called a he in my childhood until the age of 22. My parents knew, and they called me he all the time which was nice. I actually remember having my parents called in to my kindergarten because I wanted to wear pants and I saw nothing wrong with it, this was in Russia in the late 80's. And later on, it was getting weird when I hit my 20's. I grew out my hair very long and tried to wear girly clothes. I got married, had a son. But after all that, I still know that I do not truly feel like a woman. A few weeks ago, my husband said to me, "I really did marry a man". It's because of my body language and my behavior. Nonetheless, I can't complain about my life, because I do love my husband, I am bi. But, I still wonder if I was to change and become a boy when I was 2 or 3 years old, how different my life would be. Sorry for the long rant.
you are amazing
I think that if you are trying to think of who you want to be in the future and you're just coming up blank shows that you just don't see yourself fitting in with how society views you now and that itself should tell you something.
I hate my body, I've felt like I was born in the wrong skin since 6. I've suffered from depression my whole life and don't really know what's wrong with me. I always hoped as a teenager that is was a phase. I'm 23 now and it still has not gone away. My family would be ashamed.
Thank you.
I know i have gender dysphoria i know i would be alot happier becoming mtf cause i am alot happier in boyshort panties and bra's and cami's i start my hormones feb 28 so im alot happier
You remind me of a blonde Emily deschanel, you're really pretty!
for me i knew i was transgendered because female relationship felt wrong to me they left me confused and mens clothing felt weird that i was doing the wrong thing but felt peace dressed as a woman plus the transgender test i scored a 83% female...
cis female here....I have been kind of conflicted lately.... I desire to wear dresses, be female, wear makeup, wear high heels (and not fall over while walking) but i tend to buy guy things, wear guy clothing, a lot of my tastes/ how I eat are very male based. I feel like I might be gender queer, but am unsure about the term. this post is actually the first that I'm talking about it with anyone. also i identify as they, them, theirs.
Thanks for commenting! How did it feel to share your truth? There is definitely no wrong way to live, dress, or express yourself. I hope you are able to live fully and authentically within your identity. ~Jamie
Lisa Carson I can't come on pills I won't be a woman I want breast like a woman I want vagina like a woman I want long hair like a woman I want to talk like a woman I want to wear dresses like a woman I want to wear a pantyhose like a woman I want real high heels like a woman
I don't want children and can't really envision myself in the role of a mother _or_ father. Before I ever started questioning anything though, I was idly pondering my married self in the future one day, and seeing myself as a "husband" felt immediately wrong for reasons unclear to me at the time.
I am fairly certain that I am not trans, but my curiosity of coming here is from the question: "where does it start?".
I guess this is a start story.
You are the cutest woman ever!
I'm afraid people will judge me if I get my hair cut or if I take hormones or even if I wear boys clothes but I can basically 100% relate to your story and I'm only young. I don't know wat to do. At first I thought maybe I'm gay wait no I'm bisexual no I'm pansexual actually I'm pretty sure I'm gay but as soon as i thought I'm transgender that just seems right and I couldn't help but smile. Please could someone help me with this problem.
beauty :)
I knew I was trans when was very young but back in my days I had to hide it now that I'm 53 it's acceptable now I wonder I'm I'm too old to trough surgery
No never too old dear :)
How it u get your voice like that, im trying so hard but i still sound kinda manly
ty
I have a few questions. But everyone I find is CZcams famous so no way to talk to them
So what are the major factors that lead you to want to be a different gender? Because you explain phases where you want to be a man and then switch. I don't really get that. Do you just like the female life style and roles they play in society. What I mean is it sociological?
What if I dont see myself as a parent neither father or mother
thanks
so did HRT make the hyper masculine phases and the hyper feminine phases stop , if not then what did, if it has stoped
Nadean Hill Neither phase was due to HRT. Hyper-masculine phase is due to the denial of being trans and trying to be something you are not, Hyper feminine phase is due to finally being who you are and thinking you are more feminine than you actually are.
Jamie Haze omg i get it i think thats whats happing to me , but i feel like im balancing out soon
thanks sooo much :)
Lisa Carson attack home on pills I won't be a woman I'm a breast like a woman I want a vagina like a woman I want long hair like a woman I want to talk like a woman I want to wear dresses like a woman I won't wear a pantyhose like a woman I want to wear high heels like a woman
I'm 50 now (MtF), but in my teens/20s I faked laddish/macho behaviour to try and convince myself (and others?) I was a regular bloke. And then in private I would do girl stuff that I wouldn't dare share with my male friends.
I always identified as a girl (also born a girl) but I wonder to what extent I feel like a girl and to what extend i've been conditioned to feel like a girl. I always gravitated towards girly things per say but now when I reflect i don't know if i did it naturally or because of what society taught me. I've never quesioned this when I was younger or anything, i always felt comfortable as a girl but i wonder if there would have been a difference if I would have been born a guy. Like I don't understand how do you "feel" like a gender?
This might help
czcams.com/video/c_ilTlXtbk4/video.html
How do you "feel" like a gender? Well when you're born in the wrong gender, its actually painfully obvious. For the lucky 99.7% of people who aren't trans, its not even a thought that crosses your mind, you get to just live because its your natural self. Which is why this stuff is so hard to get non-trans people to understand, because they literally can't fathom what "feeling" like a gender feels like. i like to describe it like this. Pick up a pen with your opposite hand, and write. It feels wrong, right? How do you know its wrong? I dunno, you just do. Nobody told you which hand to use, society didnt force it on you, your brain just knew. Now imagine you were forced to write with that hand every day. You'd learn eventually obviously, but you'd be awkward, and clunky in all your writing, and could never truly achieve the nice handwriting that your 'real' hand could. Then imagine if one day the writing gods said, "You can now use your correct hand!". After years and years of writing with an awkward hand, how liberating it would feel, to be able to write beautifully with your 'true' hand. Thats transition in an extremely simplified nutshell.
I was watching Oprah one day many years ago and she was asking sill questions. A woman that was trans then asked her what she would feel like as the woman she is with just one thing different and that is if she had penis.
She should have also said, and a deep voice, and an adams apple, and broad shoulders and no hips. All of these things contribute to dysphoria, not just the penis.
I see both. I feel that I am the same fun guy I have always been. but need to be bin a woman's body
The more I think about it, the more I think I'm trans. Even if all the surgeries were successful, I would feel self conscious about my height. I'm 6f 4ich. That's tall even for a boy. How tall are you?
exactly me too
I pretty sure I'm trans ive always seen myself as a woman but ive always tried to hide it because of criticism but I'm tired of it and I'm ready to be myself but don't know how to do it plz give me a reply and give me some advice I really need some thank you and hope to hear
55:00 Yeah two Answers, 1) Your not allways focusing on your Gender, your obviously a Person whit a Life beyond that. 2) Trans just means non-Cis, so Genderfluid, and Non Binary might be your Thing. Feeling sometimes more feminine, sometimes more masculine.
Time will NOT necessarily tell you everything. You may have to learn a whole lot of psychology to find out what is at the heart of wanting to be a girl. In some cases, there can be a whole lot of influences that can make one feel that they are TS even though you are not. I was a normal boy until I was 6; no feelings of being a girl, no desire to be a girl. Then, molested over the next 7 years, and being told that god had made a mistake and that I was actually supposed to be a girl, my abuser planted the idea in my mind, and it became a self fulfilling concept where I began to see all sorts of reasons (which were actually incidental, and not true) why he was right. By the time I was in high school, I was more and more convinced that I was TS even though there were several things that simply did not fit. The initial clue was that I had zero attraction to males; in fact, a repulsion to them. I was also strongly interested in stereotypical male interests. I didn't like talking and conversations were brief, to the point, and then over. I had absolutely no interest in babies, children or family matters, and had little interest in relationships; I spent the vast majority of my time alone. Though I craved oral and anal sex and behaving like a girl that way, it had always been uncomfortable and completely without any pleasure at all. The pull was that before and after the sex, my abuser was actually very affectionate to me, and it was THAT which I was craving; I had connected the two behaviors, and especially with the onset of puberty and the rush of testosterone driving me to want sex, I mixed it all up. What I really wanted was the affection, not the sex (you can satisfy your own sexual urge, but cannot, say, 'give yourself a hug'). Later studying the differences between the sexes in personality, thought processes and how we interpret the world and how we communicate, I discovered that i actually was not TS. But apparently the results of growing up believing it for so long during those developmental years, the feeling that I should have been a girl, will never go away. It makes for a confusing life sometimes. I will always feel like I'm supposed to be the passive partner sexually, and always feel like I'm supposed to be wearing female clothing, and am supposed to behave like a girl. I've learned how to 'act' like a normal man, but it requires all sorts of mental gymnastics to accomplish it, and it never really feels normal, it's still all just an act. But I could never have transitioned anyway; I had grown way too huge to ever be an attractive female, and they simply don't make attire in my size. I would have looked like a hippo in a tutu. So, living as a homely huge man really isn't much different from being a huge homely woman; nobody wants either as a mate. My life will go on, alone.
For me I knew was different as far back as 3yrs old. But growing up in an ultra religious household I had to push it down into the darkest depths of my soul. Boys and men when they banter with each other they’d call each other girls or pussies, whenever that happened to me instead of snapping back with the same kind of banter I would get anxious because in my mind thought they knew who I was and were calling me out. Lol, and because I didn’t respond in a way that was normal for boys it kind of left them thinking that I was different lol. So I just kept hiding it even though it was kind of an open secret or elephant in the room with my family. I was caught many times with makeup and clothing by my family but I just refused to admit to anything. So in an effort to just fit in in school and deny this fact about me I ended up getting involved with drugs and alcohol through out my teens and early twenties going as far as being addicted to heroin. Anything to numb the pain of not being my authentic self. Through out that time I wasn’t really sexually active and I had a few girlfriends and it didn’t last long because I was able to perceive that they perceived that I was hiding something and they’d even give me hints that they knew. Me being stubborn I’d still deny myself. Flash forward to now, having lost most of my friends being because of me not being a genuine person I’m age 30 and I’m finally ready to start my transition. I have so many regrets but now I actually have a promise of a future to be the woman I always prayed and dreamed of being; I never once saw a future for myself living as my assigned gender that is why I was so destructive to myself and my relationships growing up.
Sorry, ya’ll, for the novel, but I thought maybe someone could relate to my struggle I had while suppressing my true self all these years.
Also as an addendum, two of my siblings committed suicide. My older sister found out my secret and tried outing me at a family reunion. I stopped talking to her and all but shut her out of my life. Five years later she killed herself. My older brother knew this about me since I knew it, but always kept my secret. He recently killed himself this last September. So now, because of these tragedies I know I must go on and in order to do that I have to be myself. I came out to my younger sister and our relationship is now so much better. We call and txt each other so much more often now, it’s fantastic. Now I’ve just gotta work up the courage to share it with the rest of my family.
I wish I was a girl
Me too... sometimes life is such a bitch
well then what are you going to do about it
Same xd
XxMasterNateXx !!! , you could maybe be transgender.
@ARIELLEIRA im also wonted sam gierl
How many years must taken the hormone for a transgender ?
See you know what's wierd about me is I am going through that switching faze. I want to be male just a very feminine probably gay Male....
I hope that makes sense
Genderfluid maybe?
Have you got some tricks to tell my family??
Hi thank you for your video, i m french person, i have 44 years old, i speak little english but mother language is french and i m transgender. can you say me how you start to go out as a woman? with friend? or alonde in evening? i m scared sometimes to go out in dress in the day.... wish you good day !
Laura Laura I first went out in public with my parents actually. I was terrified so it was really nice to have their support! So it probably would help to have a friend or someone go with you. Good luck and I am sure you will do fine
Laura Laura I Know and understand your problem/ je sais et comprander votre problem,/ ask me I live in France/ demand moi je habit en France
Try going out while slightly drunk. It works for my girlfriend.
Lisa Carson I take home on pills I won't be a woman I want breast like a woman I want a vagina like a woman I want long hair like a woman I want to talk like a woman I want to wear dresses like a woman I will wear a pantyhose like a woman I want to wear high heels like a woman