Why am I getting worse the more I fly?
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- čas přidán 22. 07. 2024
- In this video, I want to answer a question many fearful flyers find quite perturbing: “How is it that the more often I fly the worse I’m becoming - aren’t you supposed to get better at things with practice?”
To answer that question, we need to understand how brains learn, and in this video I send the first section looking at various ways we learn, and what it is we learn on a plane that increases, not decreases our fears.
For more information, visit my website to read at your leisure: flightwise.com.au
I cannot believe this. Randomly found this video online. I have not watched this video yet, but I just wanted to say that as a kid I LOVED flying, laughed through turbulences and sometimes just slept through the whole flight. Now I find myself unable to sleep a single second on flights. I didn't know that getting more and more scared of flying over time was a "thing" and it was just me being me. Knowing that its something that is known/documented makes me feel a bit better, so lets see what there is to it.
Flying today from London Stansted- Malta Luqa, it’s my 12th flight in the last year, I remember my anxiety last year was fine, ofc I felt weird but nowadays I feel like the more I fly the higher the chance of the plane crashing, particularly im fine with turbulence & landing, just take off & the first 25 minutes of cruising, like you mentioned before, for me it isn’t a matter of trust, it’s a matter of every time I step in a plane, that it’s s chance, god your videos help but I feel sometimes there’s still that anxiety that something will happen, I hope I have a safe flight
Ok, I need that second ‘unlearning’ video of which you speak! Am flying tomorrow, and with everything in the news I just know I’m going to pull my usual trick of freaking people around me out so much that they have to move!
I'm so glad I found this video. Everyone has told me the more I fly the better it will be for me, but that has not been the case. My first flight was my easiest and probably my 10h flight was the hardest. Thank you for the explanation!
Can't wait for part 2! Thanks for your videos!
Good to hear you were able to apply some new learning from this video to yiouyr current flying behaviours... excellent news, and more happy landings to come!
When the plane gets louder at some point I take it it means it’s speeding up and when the engine quiets done less speed or they are preparing for descending
Matthew Gregory doesn’t quite work that way. Sometimes engines receiving more thrust can also aligned with slowing down or holding altitude on descent. Think of engine breaking in a car or truck. But usually, when the engines move to idle it can mean the plane is at top of descent and gravity will do the work. Think again of a car at the top of a steep still trying not to exceed the speed limit on the way down. Foot off accelerator and on break. In a car with speed control you may even see revs increase as the car changes down gear to hold the assigned speed.
Thank you Les! Your videos are always terrific.
Fantastic video thanks!
Thank you for making this video (and the others you have made). This one in particularly is reassuring -- I was feeling crazy when my fear of flying kept increasing over time, and friends and family's confusion hasn't helped. In preparation of an upcoming flight (Taipei to New York via Turkey), I'm now trying to tackle my growing fear of heights for the first time, and your calm way of speaking and logical conclusions have already helped calm me down and feel a little more in control. Thank you for all you do.
Glad you found it of use... this topic and my explanation doesn't get too much attention, it seems, but I think it's quite worthwhile.
Thank you
This is a godsend! Thank you!
Good you found it useful!
Hi. Very interesting topic. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Cheers ;)
Grzegorz Kwiatek you’re most welcome!
Immensely helpful
This was so confusing for me why I worry more and more about flying, I was in bad turbulence and had a very bad flight in 2009 and after that it took me a few years to go back onto a plane at all. once I did that, things worked out fine and its been up and down always stressful but I could still handle this. Now my recent flight back to europe at night, we once again had turbulence but not that much as what set my severe fear of flying off, however, I still could feel the same anxiety. I was very upset for something I probably wouldnt have been if the other factors werent the same as the night back in 2009 with the turbulence and the same airline and the lights flashing outside etc. Well. My comment makes no sense, just wanted to share my experience and Im glad my reaction isnt irrational because I feel like a total looser being so upset about a little turbulence despite that I know its harmless mostly.
ajlisknillat I’m confused. Did the video and its explanations confuse you or help explain what you’ve been experiencing since 2009? Can you expand a little on what’s been happening?
@@lesposen Sorry I might not have explained myself properly. I have been so confused about why I got worse over time. And your video helped me to clarify this. But I also thought I was actually getting better on flying but this last flight was a major set back, therefor im here in sweden soon past midnight watching fear of flying help videos haha. At one point I even flew quite often, I never liked it, I dreaded it, but it has just become worse and worse, now, almost back to that same point where I will refuse to board a plane. And I dont think the experience last flight should make me feel this way because it wasnt that bad, but it woke that stupid fear again, that has been lingering but I seemingly contained for some good almost 10 years. ;) Maybe I never got rid of it. Thanks for the videos Im catching up on lot of your material, so kind to share this with us!!
@@lesposen What the issue was back in 09 was that we on the first part of the flight, almost landed but had to do a go around, i was before that also a nervous flyer but not afraid. after we finally landed we had some 6 hours on the airport for our next flight and then id be home. so the fear grew during those hours that things could actually go seriously wrong etc. and when we got on the second plane there was a severe thunder storm across the southern baltic region and I believe we couldn't do much than fly near or through or whatever they were doing, but it was some horrendous turbulence and things went flying and people were upset. I remember my ears hurt so bad I thought, well, now we are surely going straight down descending fast in to the baltic sea. Well, somehow we landed and I don't remember the end of that flight because I was beyond myself lost it completely-highly embarrassing when i think about it... That said, it took another 3 years before I could even go to an airport, which I did, to practice, and some how it led to success in the means of me actually flying, but now I think I am falling into that bad habit of avoiding it feels impossible again. =)
interesting video flying aside even, great video to help thinking about being triggered by certain circumstances
I came back to comment, his video helped me very much….my fear went from 90% to almost enjoying turbulence (turbulence was the major fear for me and having flow 100s times) Thank you very much for your video.
Several Flights to Europe later fear is completely gone, Thank you your video was what helped me.😊
Thank you so much for all that you do! Would you be available for a recorded podcast/interview? I would love to share your insights with others!
Sure - write to me Les(at)lesposen.com and visit Flightwise.com.au
I am flying tomorrow from Tampa to Vancouver CA. Going to practice these techniques!
Andrew Dotson hope it goes well, let us know how you do...
@@lesposen will do! Thanks again 😊
@@lesposen I finished the flight and it went really well! Was a little bumpy but I just pictures your jello example. I honestly think I am over my anxiety. Thanks so much for making these videos!
good enough
This is exactly how I feel!!!! No one has ever understood
It’s always important to understand how things like this happen. Takes a little of the misery away, but still usually more work to do!
I just don’t understand why our bodies would give us false signals if it is safe. What you have described is exactly what happens to me and I fly a lot; before each flight I search for a way to do the journey on the ground! Surely it is unsafe if our bodies which are hard wired to sense danger are giving us alarm bells? Why would it do so if it isn’t the case? And I try to think about it logically snd when I do I just think that we aren’t suppose to be flying in a metal object 30,000ft in the air with two engines strapped to it. We have feet. So yes I really do need help because I have a serious fear of flying that I never used to have and it’s effecting my life. Do you do online sessions? Thank you
Hi Maurice, our brains are constantly making assumptions about our current and future needs… food, water, shelter, external threats, internal status, etc. It’s not a perfect system, so we get it wrong from time to time, and must change our rules when the info no longer supports them, and there are better ways to make sense of things. Many of these warning systems rely on very rapid assessments of threat, and plane travel often evokes old threats. We have to work at putting these threats into perspective and initially accepting the fears we have as historical in their development but which produce very strong contemporary signals of threat.
Thank you for getting back to me; much appreciated. I will continue to watch your videos and research around the topic to try to retrain my brain 🙏
Going to watch the next one NOW. I had the misfortune of marrying a (sadistic) light-engine instructor many years ago - and accompanied him on a number of flights. I wasn't a "great" flyer, but not bad either. One day, he decided to "fix me" by doing acrobatic stunts in the plane (it was a small Cessna I think) - and scared the daylights out of me. He told me that in a light aircraft, in the event of trouble you could at least glide some distance to find a safe landing space, but if you're in a Boeing (or similar), you drop out of the sky like a lead balloon. This guy had 15,000 hours and was a flight instructor - of course, I believed him! On another occasion, our nose-wheel got stuck halfway up & down and then our radio bombed. We had to buzz the tower and throw down a note onto the runway explaining our situation. Thank heavens there was a team practicing stunt flying in the air who flew alongside us to confirm we had no nose-wheel engagement. Well, he had to try fix it by porpoising the aircraft violently up and down - and when it seemed okay, we took the chance of landing - with firetrucks and ambulances on standby. Thank heavens it did the trick and all was fine. Turned out the mechanic who did the last service on the plane had left a large shifting spanner in the wheel-well and this is what caused the problem. When they found it, it was literally bent into a right-angle (such was the force). But from that day, I had an uncontrollable horror of flying - which has only gotten worse and worse over the years. Now, I just have to THINK about it and I literally start hyperventilating and sweating profusely - and I'm flying in 3 weeks to visit my daughter & granddaughter (just a local flight of 1.5 hours but enough to make me feel VERY nervous already!). SO glad to have found your channel. (By the way, I divorced the sadist years ago just in case you're wondering - hahaha). :)
I already replied to your second message, before I saw this one. Wow, what a story! Occasionally, I see pilots who've been through these situations, and who've been really rattled by it - such that they can doubt their abilities or alter the sense of probability and therefore safety. Not so much with first tier airlines, more with commuter and tourist pilots carrying a dozen Pax in twin prop aircraft. The task for you going forward is to somehow separate what has happened to you, and what is currently happening in terms of your physical sensations, triggered by thoughts and memories. That's where the action for you seems to be, and it is the most changeable aspect of your situation. The idea might be not to try and discard the memory, but what to do about what it triggers, so that you can separate the memory from the immediate seeking of safety and comfort. Good luck with upcoming flights - do perhaps focus on what you hope to feel when you arrive to see your family, especially appreciation and gratitude they are part of your life. Perhaps accept that you will feel and think nervously, but that's OK, they too will pass and be replaced by very warm feelings and thoughts.
Even though I very much appreciate and find fear of flying videos helpful, I'm still not sure I'll ever get over my fear. No matter the statistics, no matter how many times someone tells me your chances of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 60 mil, there is still a chance something will go wrong, and I can't seem to divorce my brain from that. Mostly I'm afraid that there will be some small mechanical issue that no one sees, and it will bring the plane down. JAL123 went down because of a crack in a fan blade, among many other examples. I'm flying for the first time in two years tomorrow and I am beyond anxious. My destination and the fun I'm going to have once I get there outweighs my fear of flying, but man, I'm probably going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow. I hope everything will be okay.
I will offer that you're making very common error by confusing possibility with probability. Just because something is possible doesn't make it probable. There are things one can do to mitigate probabilities - if you know an insurance assessor or actuary you can ask them about this, and how premiums can be lowered by altering probabilities of a break-in, fire, effect of earthquakes, flooding, etc. All these things are possible, but over a lifetime maybe very improbable. On the other hand, Aviation DOES work on the concept that if something's possible, then its probabilities must be calculated and offset as much as possible. So crucial systems are usually triplicated; minimal equipment lists are maintained so that anything that is unserviceable on that list means the flight does not take off until it's fixed. Many failsafe systems and weight bearing elements are supported. Pilot training includes extremely rare events as well as more common ones with the emphasis also being in order: Aviate, Navigate, Communicate. Your JAL 123 ws a noteworthy and extremely rare case. Rather than a single fan breaking, it was decompression based on a previously faulty repair following a tail stroke: From Wikipedia: "Japan's Aircraft Accident Investigation Commission officially concluded that the rapid decompression was caused by a faulty repair by Boeing technicians after a tailstrike incident during a landing at Osaka Airport in 1978. The rear bulkhead of the plane had been repaired with an improperly installed doubler plate, compromising the plane's airworthiness. Cabin pressurization continued to expand and contract the improperly repaired bulkhead until the day of the accident, when the faulty repair failed, causing a rapid decompression that ripped off a large portion of the tail and caused the loss of hydraulic controls to the entire plane."
Before anything else, I think we should deal with the fear of death. You see,this fear is a curse but it can also be a blessing. Because it reminds us that we are not eternal and that we should enjoy every moment like it’s the last. Whenever I am on a plane and feeling like I will die, I think about all the things I want to do after I “survive” that trip. As for the fact that we think something wrong might happen during a flight..well.. things can always go wrong in general. Tomorrow an asteroid can hit us and kill everyone. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. This is why we should appreciate today as it is.. a present.