Imperial Guard Vs Orkish Power of Belief | Warhammer parody
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
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Bit is from ORKS! ORKS ORKS! Adeptus Ridiculous podcast episode • ORKS! ORKS! ORKS! | Wa...
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Story about Imperial Guard soldiers using orkish power of belief against the Orks with uh, mixed results.
Ork logic: the story is canon because you believe its canon
This is a cannon because you believe its a cannon. *Boom*
Hardcore theorist believers be like: if we think it is canon then it is canon.
Also you spelt canon wrong.
@@orinb8654 thanks for the point out. :)
@@smoothseeker6196 your welcome my guy.
@@orinb8654 Old GW didn't think they had to serve up a fully formed canon. People just went with silly jokes and published them. You could send in your own silly stuff to White Dwarf or Challenger. They figure the players are clever enough to take all these building blocks and build their own games and stories with them.
I've also heard a story about orks who were repairing their ship, and died after a group of other orks pointed out they forgot their space suits.
they mention this later in the podcast
So if an ork runs of a cliff, would he stay in the air like Wil.E. Coyote until he realizes he’s supposed to fall?
@@Grievous_Nix I gotta say, it's pretty possible
@@Grievous_Nix Probably not a single Ork, an Important thing a lot of these 40M-emers forget ,is that these powers have a limited range and require large amounts of Orks in proximity to function.
As someone who likes Orks in the lore, is a bit annoying how often their power of Belief is memed into oblivion.
@@whocares317 Well it is pretty fucking hilarious.
The most important rule of 40k:
The setting is grimdark. The stories don’t have to be.
Thats honestly the best thing about 40K tbh. The setting is so grimdark and everything is so OP that the absurdity is hilarious.
Guardsmen using the bodies of their comrades as cover: grimdark
The Imperium publishing pamphlets advertising this as a Schola Progenium Approved Battle Tactic: hilarious.
fuck it, here's another
humanity losing most of its scientific knowledge after millenia of conflict and disasters: grimdark
humanity considering aerodynamic planes to be heretical, because Real Aircraft should be able to stay aloft through engine power alone: absolutely beautiful.
Orcs operate on something called Fridge Horror. Where it’s funny to hear and see but when you stop and think of the implications it’s horrifying. Orcs are dumb, powerful idiots with reality warping powers so beyond their control it can easily kill themselves. Then think about it and realize all those things are also the exact reason why they are terrifying to fight.
It can't be a depressing world unless we care about the characters in it. Necrons have really good stories lol
-War is fun
-Thinks no one gets hurt (Orks don't really understand pain)
-Only limited by your creativity
Orks are just a playground war game gone too far
I might be wrong but I think Orks feel very little pain. Like, they can have a fractured arm and it'd feel like they hit their funny bone or got pinched. I do know that Orks find it fun to torture humans. Orks prefer torturing humans over Squigs because humans try to fight back and make more noises of anger, fear and pain compared to a Squig which will just squeal and run.
@@tf2pyro703 trying to make it sound like hitting your funny bone isn't the most god awful pain ever lol
@@tf2pyro703 Orks can lose their heads and be stitched back fine. They're weird as hell.
@@tf2pyro703 they definately feel pain in a meaningful way, i mean their medics ar eliterally called painboyz because of how much they cause to whomever they're performing surgery on.
@@quanariin1290 Well I know they feel pain, I even said so lol, but they feel very little pain so they can keep fighting after taking a heinous injury. Painboyz have a basic understanding of the medical field, like to experiment on their patient and all surgeries are done while the patient is awake so the Painboy knows the patient isn't dead. It'd be like getting a filling for a tooth and your dentist gives you a concussion as an anesthetic, he removes your molars, fills that one tooth with melted Jolly Ranchers and replaces your arm with a mechanical one that has a 56% chance to explode if you move it too fast. That being said, all that sounds excruciating no matter your pain tolerance.
“Bang!”
“I ain’t ded! I’z a tank!”
“Dakka-dakka!”
“I’m not dead! The Emperor protects!”
Datz a righ' good point, dat iz.
Zoggin umiez wif dere finking and yappin
I dodge epicly
and this is the originstpry of larping
Guardsman *grabs a hollow tube* "VROOSH!"
And just like that the grim darkness of the far future devolved into an elementary school playground
The battle ended with one particularly psychotic imperial guardsman cannonballing between the two forces while screaming “NUKE!!!”, wiping out all those present.
According to a roaming band of orc scouts, the explosion could be seen “from miles away.”
I'd actually believe it considering orks.
Nah a space marine
@Feels Dank Man Don't tell them about the Big Bang
Your joking but i think that actually happened
Lmao
Once upon a time, an Ork waugh had looted a Leman Russ battletank and used it to harry the imperial lines endlessly. The Human troops poured every heavy weapon they had into that bastard machine, but it would not die. Finally, a lucky guard team hit the engine deck with a missile and the tank ground to a halt. Battle progressed, but at some point, an Ork mek team hauled the wreck away and it appeared less than a few hours later to raise more hell for the guardsmen. It was *impossible!* Even a forgeworld couldn't replace a destroyed engine that rapidly! Yet here it was, looted and as nasty as ever.
Fortunately for the beleaguered troops, a detachment of Salamanders arrived and drove back the Orks... And even managed to knock out the tank again by killing the crew. Tech priests immediately swarmed the disabled vehicle to find out what manner of repair the Orks had accomplished so quickly. They opened up the engine deck and were horrified to see a cardboard box covered in crude paint to look like an engine, complete with VROOM VROOM sound effects written on. That had been enough, apparently, for the Orks to drive the tank. The tech priests burned the box and towed the Leman Russ back to base, vowing to never speak of what they saw.
I was there when it happened. Laughed my ass off when I saw the box lol.
LOL!!! XD
Bricky mentioned this in the same episode.
The versiom of the story I heard of was the same, but the tech priest had found a piece of paper in the engine compartment that had the word "engine" on it.
Vroom Vroom 'umeiz!
If you are ever scared of an ork raid, just paint yourself purple.
They are legally not allowed to see you
How to infiltrate orks:
Step 1: buy a bunch of purple paint
Step 2: cover self in purple paint
Step 3: buy a small ship capable of warp travel
Step 4: buy enough purple paint to cover the ship
Step 5: travel to Ork planet
Step 6: start selling crucial information about the orks to the Imperium
Step 7: profit
@@memekip555
step 1: buy purple paint
step 2: jidfgnidnfgipnedpfg
step 3: profit
oi dere ain't purpul orks, but dere iz purpul humies.i'z swar
@OHGAS byzantines were sneaky humies, specially their grotty nobz
yeah purple only works on other orks i think. "coz you see lotsa green orks, but nobody seen a purple ork"
I now want a whole written story of a world completely stripped of resources due to war, as Guardsmen and Orks basically pretend-fight with fake guns and tanks and shit
The thing is it would probably work
It would just be that Russian Badger video where they modded the game to have finger guns as weapons
Reminds me of the Hyperion finger gun shootout from Tales from the Borderlands
@@nonsensicalrants1703 The finger guns are actual weapons in Warface. They're exclusive to april fools though
Ork problems require Ork solutions.
40k has that balance of “Everything Wants you Dead Grimdark” and “Ork Imagination Memes” and it’s a beautiful coexistence.
40K setting is grimdark...stories don't need be.
Just remember if the Orks were to collectively believe that only Orks can breathe we’d be fucked
@@TrueBladeSoul what I don't understand is how some very nitch things all orsc can agree, like red goes fast, how does a new batch of orcs that had never interact with other orcs now this? Or they all come to the same conclusion?
@@trla6505 They’re a Psychic species grown from spores. Ideas probably transmit/are concluded very quickly and easily.
The orks are really the only thing I like about 40k
I just like to picture that eventually a guardsmen picked up a pipe, held it on his shoulder and yelled "BOOM!" and the orks just fell over, because they thought it was a missile launcher, or they threw a rock and yelled "Krak out" (Anti-armor grenade).
I think that the guardsmen where executed by the inquisition after the fact. It was just to much heresy to shoot imaginary ammo
So orks basically fight like how kids do imaginary battles.
Was just about to comment something like this, but nevermind.
@@josedeltoro5288 creativity just like fun is banned in the imperium
@@wilmagregg3131 krieg have fun when they get to charge the enemy lines
You missed the part where the commander got in an argument with the orks about how a rock is an anti tank grenade
XD are you serious! Damnit I love orcs!
How about when a group of orcs were running away and a marine in red terminator armor was chasing them but terminator armor is slow so the orcs are getting away fast. The orcs look back and see the red terminator and say
"Oi should that thing be goinn fasta? It's red." Then in a second the terminator armor catches up to them and kills them.
@@jessenielsen7218 where can I find more stories like these? Please I need more of this in my life XD
Wait really? That's amazing.
@@jessenielsen7218 Orks before the horus heresy facing emperors children in terminator armor, which is NOT stealthy:
OY YA GITZ ! WERE DAT HUMIE WENT ? I KUNT SIZ IM, HE IS PURPL !
Space marine POV: I am in front of the green skins, so why are they not seeing me ?
Another ork: I DUNNO, BOSS ! WUNE MUMENT TAT BEAKIE WUZ DERE AND DEN HE WASNT ! HE JUST DIZAPERED !
This 200% needed to be animated. Love it.
it is tho
I’m on it.
@@tobymoore2185 a slideshow isn’t animation. It has to convey motion. Which this doesn’t.
It is animated, it even says “animated by nodle” so i think it’s animated
... animated? This needs to be in the live action movie 🤣
“In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only war...”
_”And children’s playground arguments...”_
"HEY! We very clearly shot you multiple times, Greenskins!"
"Too bad 'Umiez! We'z a Tank!"
Oh my god that’s literally what it is that’s so fucking funny
Just because the setting is grimdark, the stories dont have to be
“OI YA GITZ WE’Z SHOT YOU!”
“No you didn’t you greenskin!”
“OI THATZ A BAD WORD! I’M TELLING DA BOSS!”
Make believe… or die
There's an ork captain who was allegedly impervious to bullets. Thing is, when he was little he was hit by a small pebble fired from a weak slingshot ,which didn't hurt him at all, but since he could not tell a slingshot from an actual gun, he believed his skin was just bulletproof.
There's an actual story in the lore that's pretty similar to this:
A Space Marine was fighting alone against a bunch of Orks, until the his bolter ammo inevitably ran out. Overrrun, out of desperation he grabbed a gun from one of his fallen foes, but of course shoddy Greenskin craftsmanship made it so the thing inevitably broke when he pulled the trigger, producing only a sad clicking sound. This, hilariously, confused the hell out of the Orks, since from their point of view, 'dat right 'ere looked like a damn propa shoota 'ee wuz usin'!
And what do you know, just like that, the gun started firing, because the Orks *believed* that it should.
If enough orks believe something that thing becomes reality
@@kingofthegrimm6161 even big titty GOFF GFs?
In "Death or Glory" Cain cycle novel he and Jurgen had to travel using one of the ork trucks, which operated properly only within some range from huge ork force and as they went further away their ride was getting less and less functional.
@@unwillfullyignorant7805 yes.
@@konstantin3374 so technically, the Imperium could build some giant metal thing that looks like a nuke, but actually just empty metal shell and hurl it for exterminatus?
Studier of orks here.
There are 4 bizarre but absolutely necessary parts to make this happen.
You need a brain boy, a mek boy, a pain boy, and a buncha normal boys.
The pain boy needs to actively refuse to heal the brain boy.
The mek boy needs to be willing to work on the brain boy.
The brain boy will big brain logic that since mek boi will operate when pain boi won’t brain boy must be a vehicle.
The buncha normal bois are there to watch and amplify the belief
Warboss: ...Dat's fuckin genius, dat is!!!
Why am I laughing at this, this is so stupid but funny. God bless WH40k
I think it would be oddboyz, not brainboyz, since brainboyz are the legendary ancestors of orks, possibly even the old ones who were killed during the Necron revolution. Oddboyz were the ones that were smart.
@@unwillfullyignorant7805 i had to somewhat assume the tank boi was originally a brain boi because he never told me what he was originally. He and the nearby bois always says “Imma tank” in answer to every question
So am I translating this correctly: you need a smarter ork, a mechanic, a medic, and a bunch of regular orks. The medic refuses to heal smart ork, but the mechanic will fix up the smart ork, who is insisting they are a tank. Thus, by that logic, the smart ork must be a tank, and once convinced the other orks belief makes it real. Am I getting this correctly?
Guardsman: So long as i believe i have ammo i have ammo.
Orcs: I am a tank.
You have just do the worst crime in humanity
Wait, but I thought the reason it worked was not because the guardsman believed they had ammo, but that the Orkz believed they had ammo.
Maybe I'm confused
So can orcs go around with like ... fingerguns and belive he can litteral shoot with them?
@@inceptiongamer1163 Well, their belief isn't just 'I can do whatever I want', it's more 'Yeah, that makes sense,' then it becomes real.
If the Orks had some reason to believe that they could shoot with finger guns, then definitely
@@inceptiongamer1163 No, but because the Guardsmen were pointing their lasguns at the Orkz whilst firing, the Orkz believed that they were being shot with every "BANG" the Guardsmen let out, thus dying
“GET THE ANTI TANK GUN!!”
*guardsman stands up holding four lazguns he tied together
The guardsman: BOOOOM!!!
The ork tank died
It's all fun and games until one of the orks shouts *"I AM GORK!"*
The tank is kill
This reminds me of a story I heard.
Basically a group of orks were running from a blood Angel dreadnought (you know red)
They managed to out run it for a bit cause the dreadnought could only move so fast.
It wasn’t until one of them noticed it was a bright red and he was suddenly smashed by the dreadnought moving at 200MPH and the other orks were killed.
Transfer all power to the leg acuators
*LEG*
And soon after, the dreadnought opened its face place, barfed out its motion sickness, before going on it’s merry way.
...So the moral of the story is that Orks are REALLY into LARPing.
Take your like and never speak of this again.
@The Exemplary Englishman Watch Footage from Mythodea and reconsider youre views. As someone who holds Larping close to his heart, it saddens me that people associate it with badly desigenen costumed nerds hitting each other with foam when it's so much more
@@lukasd.4389 As someone not into Larping, I get the medieval and ren-fair RP vibes from it..... only the "combat" is fucking funny to look at. Unless the LARP-group happens to have actual fencers that duel with real (looking) blades. Seen that in a few vids, guys in LARP gear (with proper head protection of course) actually fencing, that shit is top tier, the "Lightning Bold! Lightning Bolt!" faction on the other hand..... let's just sweep them under the rug.
@@NoFlu Yesh, i underdtand you. Im way more RP centric then "normal" Larpers, but there is where the beauty in ti lies. Theres a lot of people pouring their creativity and work into their chrackters, 100s of Hours in beuatifull garb and captivating Plot. A lot of Costunes here put Movies to shame, and a wll told Story in Larp is just captivating and personal in a way Movies and Video Games could never be.
And theres People that yell Lightning Bolt. Not much tho, we don't play whith rule based systems, so that wouldn't make sense
@@NoFlu Boffering is pretty fun. It essentially removes the roleplay element and keeps the fighting.
We get animations to the stories now? You guys are spoiling us.
Check out the silent king animation, it was the second video on the channel, it's pretty funny too. I really hope we get more animated highlights.
We're getting more spoiled than a rich white kid
"I shot you, you're dead!!"
"No, I'm not"
"You are, I said "Bang!""
"oi sorry for tha confusion" *dies*
@@eldritchsheep6801 "but oi am still live"
"shh you are dead"
"aight" *dead noises*
@@captainhuntank7963 this sounds like a parody of Heavy is Dead....
*hmmmmmm*
@@XtreemAlan THE ORK IS DEAD?!
@@williamsantamaria2813 yes
*slams table*
It died
Every time I hear this story, some of the details are changed and it slowly gets more meme-y every time. It’s like some Orkish game of Telephone.
me: i’m a tank
i’m a tank
i’m tank
rolls dice
bad roll
friend: “bang”
me: Gork & Mork haz abandon uz boiz
G&M : Pafefic...
OI, DAT'S SOME 'ERESY YOU SAYIN' RIGHT THERE, GIT!!!
40k: "We have the darkest setting anyone could imagine."
Also 40k: Orks: "haha Tank made of Orks go "Im a tank."
*Start painting whole body purple*
*U cant see me im invisiblaaaaa*
Lol, and people say the Tau don't fit the setting
It was created with a very 1980s British sense of “so dark it’s obviously a parody“. But now the parody has just kind of become straight except for some holdouts like the orks.
At this point from a Meta perspective the Orks are the comic relief of the 40K universe. Though I wouldn't wanna be fighting them as a human.
@@accessdenied5998 Turn it around! Suddenly wrap a purple cloak around yourself in front of an Ork; would you vanish!?!?
Space marine: guardsmen how did you destroy the Ork tank? You have no explosives.
Guardsman: well sir in all honesty we had no idea what to do. But then Privet Jenkins grabbed a rock, threw it and yelled *grenade!!!* The next thing we know that rock exploded, destroying the ork tank in the process.
Space marine: ...Commissar give private Jenkins a promotion immediately!
Nah they would suspect warp fuckery and execute him on the spot XD
@@mohaa556 which it TECHNICALLY was, just on the Orks part, not the Guardsmen.
@@boxtank5288 Still kill him anyway, it take too long to confirm
@@normalname3623 depends on the inquisitor really, some would see that he statistically used the orks power against them, gaining victory for the imperium and should be commended for smart thinking and bravery. And some would just kill him cause HeReSy BaD *BANG BANG* EXSTERMINOTOUS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
@@justadogobeingdogo5766 sounds about right, wish there were more sensible inquisitors and commissars.
Is it weird to say this probably happened somwhere in the 40K Universe and no one in The Imperium likes to talk about it cause of how ridiculously hilarious it was?
Old GW gave you the option to play the game you liked. That comes with the responsibility to make it into the game you want. GW trusts that you aren't going to be silly.
@@SusCalvin Given that the Orks are considered the comic relief of 40K that's going to be REALLY hard to do.
@@iamsinistar8971 They believe the best story is not in writing canon lore and portioning it out to you. They think the best story is the one you make up yourself with your mates and a ref. Maybe your story is about how some tallarn sergeant smacked a tank with a powerfist or how the little grot that could regrouped and got back in the fight.
It's not really how the ork latent psychic field thing is supposed to work. And if it were it'd go the opposite direction, where orks are being shoot by tanks and not dying, because of course the orks think they're the meanest and the 'ardest and no humie can stop'em.
@@BigMikeMcBastard You are overthinking things, and forgetting that the reason why oak technology works is because they believe it does (oversimplification but not wrong).
This has to be an 'In Universe' story that Guardsmen tell to new Guardsmen.
Funny enough most of this is true
Reminds me of my group playing Wrath and Glory. I was playing a trooper with a plasma gun, my friend was playing a trooper with a melta gun. This Ork mech boss fight happened, made of a vat with bolted on limbs and a literal cannon that shot out goblinoid creatures at us. We couldn't see it until it cane within melee distance because it was painted purple and we failed the roll. I put on my most convincing ork voice and said "Oi! Wot ah you doin blowin mah covah!" And successfully made them believe I was an Ork in a human disguise. Not even a space marine disguise, a normal 6-ft human disguise. The only thing stronger than an ork's power of belief is confidence lol.
Did your character gain ork powers?
"The Ork race believes that the color Red makes something go fast, and because the Orks believe; they do."
"Oi, if slowz the opposites o'fast and bloo the opposites of redz, than shoudnt them ultraz be slows?"
Cue Ultramarines slowing down to a fucking snails pace.
@@Marlem2 No, no, blue is the lucky colour.
Ay yo stupid gitz, bloo's da luky color!
OI, READIN' RED BOOKZ MAKES YOU LEARN FASTA!! BUT ONE OF DA BOYZ LERNED TOO MUCH N' DIDN'T WANT TO WAAAGH ANYMORE SO HE KRUMPED 'IMSELF.
DA BOSS SAYZ WE IZ NOT ALLOWED TO READ ANYMORE.
@@DonVigaDeFierro this is hilarious.
Orks thinking they’re a tank will give a whole new meaning to the phrase head canon when they shoot.
It will blow your mind! :D
I'll see myself out.
We’re TREADing new ground!
@@borislavjebado5888 You'd best start making *tracks* then. xD
B r U H
I'm dead lol
Daily reminder that the only reason that the emperor isn't completely dead is because the Orks still think he's alive
Orcs think the Emperor Class titans are the emperor.
Well is the empera is Sooo powerful warlord that lots of lads fighting for him... He mus be powerful warlord isn't it?
great idea still heresy
Oye we gots somz mekboyz wat wants ta fix up Big Hummie Chairboss sos he ken come back to scrap with us.
@@ukaszokoniewski6039 innit!!
The fact that Guardsman can leave their Lasgun mags in sunlight or chuck them in a fire and it recharges them is amazing
I love how the lazgun is a weapon that would be considered insanely OP in almost any universe, but in 40k it’s referred to as a flashlight.
@@Han_Solo6712mostly because everyone it was OP against is already dead, the only ones left are the things that have some resistance to them
@@ntfoperative9432
“Men I have good news and bad news:
Good news is your service weapon is highly reliable and capable of defeating 99% of our enemies.
Bad news, we’re up against the 1%.
All this has taught me is that if Orks ever discuss what space marines look like under their helmets there's going to be some interesting looking space marines 😁😁😁
Now imagine a battle where all the ork stuff is just living orks holding together.
Imagine a Gargant made out of actual orks.
A gargant? That would be utterly terrifying. Just a hulking mass of thousands of orks walking over the horizon.
Anyone else remeber the first episode of gravity falls?
Considering the WAAAGH! Can be potentially extremely powerful, would it be possible for the Orks to literally Create A God? I know that Gork and Mork are something that they believe exists, but I mean straight up summoning their god(s) to help them fight a war.
@@AnUnfortunatePotato well in an essence that is what some spells of them are. In case of actual avatars or something like that I don't think that has happened before.
Their gargants are idols to the gods though.
@@AnUnfortunatePotato well, that’s require: 1, they stop beating the shit out of each other and demons. 2, Khorne doesn’t stop them when they escape, but I honestly think he can’t. 3, them being smart enough to know who the baddies are.
Guardsmen: picks up pipes and rocks, point and throw them while saying "BOOM"
Be sure to dump them in yellow paint too
My favourite part of the episode. Love that there’s animations now!
You missed the story of the ork who went back in time to kill himself again so he could get a copy of his favorite gun 😂😂
I’m relatively new to W40K, but that story is my favorite so far.
@@kexardand the best part?, due to their reality bending powers, the time paradox that was supposed to happen picked itself up and tossed itself right out of the window.
I have a head cannon related to this. So you know the character, sorta, Sly Marbo? My theory is that he killed an ork boss and lucked into surviving a really bad blow. When he showed back up, the orks thought he was immortal, so they couldn't kill him. When he snuck up on them they thought he was invisible, so they couldn't see him. And now, the very orks that he had hunted over the decades or even centuries are accidentally keeping him alive, or that he actually died but the orks belief manifested a monster that is what they imagine Marbo to be. Either way it's fun to imagine.
So here's my idea right.
You get a bunch of orks to play doom and tell them it's an immersive training simulation.
It would literally work and you'd have a bunch of orks obsessed with doom who could go toe to toe with the astartes
Or a daemonic incersion near Mars since that is where the game is set
@@thomas4092 in Warhammer, would you even really notice?
@@kimkillillasfuq8212 yeah, it would be kind of hard for the toaster worshippers to not notice the daemonic invasion or the stink they would kick up over the new daemon types appearing everywhere, especially the ones with bionics
@@thomas4092 I mean, demonic incursion is kinda par for the course in Warhammer. Sure people "notice" but it would probably just be a regular Tuesday
@@thomas4092 thats just a regular week day my friend.
Please animate the story about commissar yarrick, the man who had his arm cut off by an ork only to kill said ork and take his power klaw as his own. Yarrick is such a legend among orcs, that he is capable of utilizing ork tech because the orks belive he can. They also believe he is immortal and that a mere gaze of his "evil eye" will kill them, so he got himself a biotic laser eye to fit the bill. As far as we know, it can just be a laser pointer but the orks still drop dead because they believe this guy is such a badass legend.
Pity the immortal part didn't hold up with Angron's bunch.
I’m going to incorporate this man into my warhammer army now
An intense battle in the grim dark future turns into the boys playing pretend in the backyard.
Guards stan on top of each other,"I'm a titan I'm a titan..."
This is one of my favorite stories. The one I heard had a single Ork doing that, and he ran over the commander chanting it.
I'm so glad I found this by accident
Orks in 40K are single-handedly the best method actors in any canonical universe they will literally die believing that you have shot them and not just shouted "bang!" their general direction
True there acting skills are on another level
Stanislavski would be proud.
I'd die if someone did this to me
Honestly the entire race should get an Emmy, an Oscar, and a Tony.
How Vietnamese defeated the USAF when they are discovered and outnumered:
"ImatankImatankImatankImatank"
More like "If I'm dead they cannot kill me a second time."
Vietnamese: I'MATREEI'MATREEI'MATREEI'MATREEI'MATREEI'MATREEI'MATREE
@@midgetydeath logicc
"if an ork wants it to happen, it will happen" -some imperial dude.
But there is some kind of rule that makes them work. Like mad scientists being able to make impossible surgeries. They have to base it from somewhere. It's basically magic at this point.
The Imperium of Man fears the day Orks discover Shonen anime
Oh god oh fuck
Even the Chaos Gods are fucked if the Orks start watching Dragon Ball Super.
unless they believe that humans are the ones capable of such feats, and not orks themselves
@@basilplant4295 Now if they watched Warcraft, tho...
Ork: Dak...ka...mek...ka...WAAAAAAARGH!
I didn't know what Warhammer 40k is, I just saw this random animation and clicked it and there's a podcast about it and holy shit what did I stumble upon
I bid you welcome and good luck in our extraordinarily deep rabbit hole
2 of my favorites are from the 3rd edition codex. The marines captured some orks and their trukks. They decided to study the ork tech, and figure out why it worked the way it did. They took 2 trukks, made sure each had the same weight, same build, and same fuel. One was painted red. Guardsmen drive the trukks? They go the same speed. Guardsmen get out of the trukks, and orks are released to drive. The red one suddenly goes faster. In a second experiment, an ork is caged and a marine is field stripping its slugga to figure it out. Opens the thing up to find some bullets, but no mechanisms inside that would allow it to fire. The trigger literally does nothing. The marine reassembles the slugga, points it at the ork, and pulls the trigger. As predicted, nothing happens. Seeing that the gun is harmless, the marine throws the gun to the ork, who points it at the marine and shoots him dead. Ork believes it works, therefore it does. It's also predicted that the belief phenomena keeps the orks from defeating Commisar Yarrick. After his early victories, they believe he is unbeatable, so he is!
Yes
The ork didn't see the guardsman shoot him or else it would have been affected by the waaaaaagh energy
One of my favorite ork stories involes a wing of boomas that were in such a hurry to get into the fight they forgot to load up on fuel. a gretchen loader noticed but actively worked to hide it from the crews for fear of being punished. But the boomas kept flying cause no one told the pilots
What I find hilarious is that this is actually canon.
Not this exact story, but in a battle against the orks, a battalion of Dark Angels ran out of ammo, and their captain tried the same thing, making gunfire noises himself, and the orks just kept dying. Whole battalion is now making gun noises like little kids, and the greenskins are dropping like flies.
What book?
It's all fun and games till someone records two assault cannons firing and plays it on loop over some suit mounted speakers.
@@ABemis It's not actually canon,, it's just fan fiction.
@@Ulfsark1602 I know, I was calling him out to prove it, because in all my reading I've never seen anything like this story, even though so many people seem to think it exists
Funny how none realises this isn't literally how Orkish belief power works. These stories are funny as hell and I love to tell em, and the one about the tank is my favourite by far, but Orks powers of belief really aren't this OP. It takes an astounding amount of Greenskins all believeing the same thing unceasingly to get even a fraction of this sort of reality altering warp fuckery.
I heard this story back in 2015 from somone who became a good friend. This was the first thing they told me about and it was the first time I had ever heard of Warhammer 40k. What a fantastic way to be introduced to this IP and I haven't stopped thanking them.
Something ive always wondered... what if you told an ork that white was really just something being every colour at once? Would a white vehicle suddenly become faster because it has some red in it?
yes, but it would also become invisible and shoot very well
@@robertwiesner6825 but of course!
You'd have to convince Alot of Orkz for that to actually work
What if orks funky accent and troglodyte speak was actually very smart and civil?
Tourrk: Squee, does human lazer weaponry make such sounds upon fire?
Squee: Im not quite sure my dear friend, better be polite and fall down
I think some of the Orks actually can speak in a very civil way, but they're usually seen as weird and 'un-orky' by the other orks.
Those orks tend to be the only ones to fire artillery at people before charging in, as well.
@@robinfalkner-wedge824 Dey speak ratha fanciful for orks. Theyz da smart wanz doh
there was actually a webcomic with this joke, feral orcs vs Brettonians.
@@robinfalkner-wedge824 Probably mostly oddboyz who do that.
War of the Beast has an Ork emissary talk to the High Lord's of Terra in perfect High Gothic, asking them to surrender so they can find an actual decent opponent. The High Lord's were infuriated and embarrassed, at the fact that they were losing the war, were speaking to an Ork who was capable of eloquent speech, and that they were viewed as inferior.
This is based on a joke story of a soldier in WWII doing the same with a stick, but then a German blowing him up with a bazooka stick.
I knew I recognized this story from somewhere.
I think the joke dates from about WWII, tbh :P
I heard it as set in Vietnam but I'm not surprised it's older
Pretty sure the joke worded almost exactly like in the video (except they did not try to say stab to stab the orcs) was a joke told during ww1
Indeed, In if I recall correctly the joke was "A paratrooper jumped out of his plane, but in the jump lost all of his gear. When he landed he could not find any of his squad, but managed to come across a stranded friendly seargent. He explains to the man his situation, the seargent only has a few rounds left in a pistol as well, but hands the trooper a stick and tells him, point it and yell 'bang bang'. The trooper laughs this off, but soon a german jumps through a bush line and out of reflex the trooper aims the stick and yells 'bang bang' and ther german falls over. Not long after this him and the seargent are running around, "bang bang, stabby stabby" with enemies falling over left and right. However, he came across a lone german slowly walking down the road toward him, muttering something under his breath. He lifted his trusty stick, 'bang bang' and to his surprise, nothing happened. The german got closer, 'stabby stabby' nothing. The german bumped into him, and knocked him over and as the german stomped over him, he could her what the german was saying 'panzer, panzer, panzer.' " Or something close enough to that.
Problem is that more Orks you kill with imaginary bullets less powerful they become as WAAAAGH field is being tinned out.
So the secret is using imaginary bullets first and real bullets later ?
@@DM-Oz probably :D Though plothole is that there's no proof that anyone outside orcs can access WAAAAGH field.
On the plus side, less spores to take root after the Ork dies provided your burn them a.s.a.p.
But wouldn't that Inversely make it stronger then, because Other orks who have seen their kind fall to the Bangs, would thusly believe it more, patching up the wholes in the Waaagh power?
@@piotrd.4850 Commisar Yarrick literally couldn't die
I ran a Dark Heresy game where the players met up with a bunch of orks that were convinced they were Imperial Guard. Eventually they all got drafted into the inquisition.
Including the orks I mean guardsmen
Awww
Guardsmen: *Paints themselves in Purple in front of the Orks*
Orks: Oi boss! Dose 'umies were 'ere a zecond ago where did dey go?!
The most hilarious part is that I can actually see this happening in a battle. 😂
From what i heard it was a group of Astartes that held up their fingers and went DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA and the Orks just keeled over and died
It wasn't anyone, it never happened. Ork power isn't this much of a thing
@@ABemis then how do you explain the Leman with no engine?
@@mintgoldheart6126 If you can name the book it happened in
@@ABemis Also, even then 40k authors tend to overexaggerate things.
That was probably my favourite part of the Ork episode.
I remember Mike from mikeburnfire asking Zach about what would happen if a guardsman painted himself green and screamed waaagh if he got surrounded.
I really, *really* fucking hope there’s a story somewhere in the lore about that. I can only imagine what would happen.
You're looking for Digganobz, human ork-worshippers from GorkaMorka. Orks view them as stupid gits, but won't do anything to them because the last time they tried to kill them, a Necron Overlord woke up senile and thought the Digganobz were Necrotyr, and the resulting carnage traumatized the orks enough to not fight them anymore.
Funnily enough this was actually legit a joke from around the time of World War II. Only in that version it's a outnumbered Polish soldier who's run out of ammunition and starts shouting the Polish equivalent of "BANG!" and starts dropping German soldiers until a particularly large and burly German soldier starts marching forward chanting "Tank. Tank. Tank." But it also works in Warhammer 40k because that is legit just how orks roll.
I genuinely cannot get over the thought of some of the most downright valiant and brutal soldiers in history in one of the bloodiest wars in history pretending to shoot at eachother and pretend to be tanks like 6 year olds, it’s fucking hilarious to me
This is literally the most epic battle of play pretend ever.
Well it isn't pretend, that became real! They actually "shot" them. They are dead because they belive they are!
Achievement Earned:
*’There Can Be Miracles, If You Just Believe’*
(Props to whoever recognized the lyrics.)
Nice Moses reference
Nice I loved that movie as a kid despise being a very very ferm atheist
Great Prince of Egypt reference!
You should probably just make a Warhammer anecdotes episode sometime later when DK is more familiar with the franchise
Its probably been commented already but i love the story where theres a bunch of orks being chased by space marines and theyre outrunning them only to notice theres a blood angel terminator coming after them. Once they notice, the big bulky terminator starts gaining speed and eventually catches up and kills them because red stuff goes fast
" I hit you. "
" Nuh-uh, ya' missed. "
" Bang. I hit you that time. "
" I'z got body arma'. "
I told my brother this story and he said "imagine if that was an actual faction ability. Just all of your Orks have T8 for the battle"
....Omnissiah save us
Orks don't need silly space magic. You just build the equivalent of brazilian favela guns, lots of them.
Absolutely HILARIOUS.
Hmm, getting bonuses from painting your orks specific colours.
Fits with canon and is hilarious, probably overpowered, but hilarious nevertheless.
@@issacadamson5263 40k canon is wild and contradictory. Early GW didn't think they had to serve you up with a canon lore. They can draw up the big frames (the Emperor sits immobile on the throne, a general called Horus rebelled, space marines are techno-knights running around) and we will use these tools to make our own stories.
I puts the responsibility not to meme on the players. If you took every silly joke published in White Dwarf and ran with it as the absolute truth it would be a mess. People made their own crap up and posted it on WD or challenger.
Orks have a language and symbols like most others. Theirs are crude and simple. Cult of Speed dudes paint their cars red because red is their colour and reading is for nerds. Primative orks have tribe-symbols with crude snakes on them.
It’s like watching two little kids trying to outdo the other in their imaginary war.
This is just perfection aahahahaha
This is the exact reason I'm getting into Warhammer 40k
the most unbelievable aspect of this story is that a lazgun ran out of ammo
I like to think Humans have some level of subtle reality warping likes the Orks do
Not as extreme as the Orks but they compensate with their superior technology
I mean, you do have the machine spirit.
the chaos gods aren't subtle at all... and those were mostly created by humans.
It’s human instincts
Like have you ever gotten that feeling that someone was looking at you for one reason or another?
@@TouchedProductions no they didn't. Most of them was born somewhere during or after first "War in the skies". So it's mostly nekrons and ancient ones fault. And eldars made Slaanesh. The only God humans made is God Emperor of Mankind.
Also there is Gorka&Morka, possibly the strongest, the cleverest, the most cunning and the most handsome gods of all. All hail to da bestist chifz of da galaxy! The ones who will stomp de starz!
@@user-kv8wk2qm2n Sure. If you go by the new lore.
In the name of my wolf boys WOO WOO WOO more content!
Lol imagine this is how humanity pacifies the orks. Orks go from big mean green bois to over the top larpers
"they just don't fall over from all the banging".... What incredible stamina
Orks
Taking roleplaying to a WHOLE new level
I can die happy now seeing this in existence
I am glad for you, my depression bro. ^^
This is literally how I imagine every podcast
Omg thank you guys so much!! Finally this story can be shared and sound the way it should!!!
I remember this story from when I was in cub scout camp; it had no references to 40k lore, and 40k was in like 2nd edition, so doubt, but it's also perfect, so headcanon accepted
I love the ork in the thumbnail going all “get a load of these bozos”.
I love how this story implies that the Orks were actually scared. You don't hear of anyone in the WH40k being scared, whimpering or just being mentally weak for a moment.
Na. Dis iz da Orks channeling a bit o' Gork soz dey can get to krumpin' some humies.
You hear it all the time, how do you think Guardsmen feel in most battles against giant space monsters?
Actually you do, just before the nearest commisar blows their head off
"I'Z A TANK, BOYZ! DRIVE ME FORWARD, BY GORK! WAAAAAAGH!!!"
Let's hope they will never discover the power of "Infinity +1"
Also known as "Enough Dakka"
@@gellax111 there is no such thing as enough dakka
@@mintgoldheart6126
Not even infinity +2?
@@Gormathius still not enough
@@mintgoldheart6126 what about "infinity+3"
I LOVE the design of this Guardsmen Squad they look Hillarious! Hahaha.
My favorite part about Orkz is how they love Humans. Because Humans fight back!
My favorite version of this story is when the orcs pick up rocks and make explosion sounds for grenades
I've watched this 5-6 times now and I still get a giggle
Just thrown a rock while shouting "ANTI TANK GRENADE" ez.
Basically the grimdark version of saying, "I'm wearing magic armor."
At this point I can’t stop watching this video, I keep coming back to it every now and then
these ork belief stories are always hilarious. my favorites being the captured tank and the one about needing space suits
This is one of my favorite stories!
A soldier with a machine gun is guarding a hangar.
A man comes up and says:
- Sell the gun.
The soldier answered him:
- No, I can't - I'm guarding a hangar with two secret planes.
Man again:
- Sell it, your fighters will not fly away.
The soldier resists, does not want to sell the machine gun in any way.
- What if something happens, and I'm here without a machine gun?
The man persuades:
- If it starts, you pick up some stick and run with it, as if you're shooting, no one will notice.
- Well, I don't even know ... Okay, I'm selling it.
The man sold the gun. A week later, the war began, the soldier runs around the hangars and shouts:
- bang! - bang! - bang!
The hangar opens and two lieutenants run out, shouting:
- NYOOOOOOOOOM ..
Warhammer trollge
Step 1: Cover yourself in purple paint
Step 2: Infiltrate orks
Step 3: Get discovered by adeptus mechanicus
Step 4: "Heretic, you have provided orks with Invisible ships!"
This is why I love Orks. You can have so much fun and be creative of their story and lore. Gork and Mork are the best too.