Every parent at Disney

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  • čas přidán 29. 07. 2018
  • "Get over here by the count of three or I will spank you into Tomorrowland!" John Crist is every parent at Disney.
    John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristcomedy.com
    Follow John:
    / johnbcrist
    / johnbcrist
    / johnbcrist
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 10K

  • @sarrinahjawed7047
    @sarrinahjawed7047 Před 4 lety +19750

    “Baby you want these or you wanna go to college?”
    Dad is that you?????

    • @anhtran0812
      @anhtran0812 Před 4 lety +17

      Bluequeenzie 101 same lmao

    • @TheColorOfCaramel
      @TheColorOfCaramel Před 4 lety +67

      But that is SO true...you literally need $250 JUST to buy food AND merchandise!
      ...and don't act like you want to go to Universal Studios the next day, it was $189 dollars to get in about 5 years back, no telling how much it is NOW.

    • @gosulanre6669
      @gosulanre6669 Před 4 lety +4

      @Kaya Beautymantra what did you pick?

    • @klingon1064
      @klingon1064 Před 4 lety +9

      goofy shape chicken nuggets do sounds dop tho

    • @MysticOceanDollies
      @MysticOceanDollies Před 4 lety +3

      TheColorOfCaramel Universal merch is even more expensive than Disney, and a water bottle was $8 the last time I was there.

  • @nenecheese1179
    @nenecheese1179 Před 3 lety +14450

    "make believe your feet aren't sore"
    "this is disney use your imagination"
    *chokes*

  • @AndreasAntics
    @AndreasAntics Před 3 lety +1317

    “Quit being tired. You’re at Disney. You can sleep when you get home.” - my grandmama

    • @vbgvbg1133
      @vbgvbg1133 Před 2 lety +12

      @@jamesluis1767 my man... this is publicly viewable, everyone can see you

    • @Feral_cockroach121
      @Feral_cockroach121 Před 2 lety +5

      @@jamesluis1767 ..Tf-

  • @MegatronEnthusiast
    @MegatronEnthusiast Před 3 lety +564

    “Pick up your garbage this isn’t Six Flags”
    That sentence made me laugh so much

    • @karenjones6135
      @karenjones6135 Před 2 lety +12

      It's soooo true!

    • @WolfRaging95
      @WolfRaging95 Před 2 lety +11

      “Cleanest Theme Park In The World.”

    • @Adam-xo7cv
      @Adam-xo7cv Před 2 lety +12

      I made the mistake of going to Six Flags the day after going to Disneyland. Whatever Disney charges for admission is absolutely worth it. I'll never pay the $39 to get into Six Flags again.

    • @dlg.studios5649
      @dlg.studios5649 Před 2 lety +2

      I laughed too! 🤣🤣

    • @flobrez2470
      @flobrez2470 Před 2 lety +3

      Six flags where I live is in the worst part of town. I would never go there much less bring children.

  • @greeneggsham6882
    @greeneggsham6882 Před 4 lety +7071

    "Mommy, why is that man shouting orders at nobody?"
    "I dont know, Johnny. I dont know."

    • @BSH1833
      @BSH1833 Před 3 lety +29

      Lol

    • @HoneyBunches100
      @HoneyBunches100 Před 3 lety +48

      So millions of people on CZcams can laugh 😉

    • @xxfoxbiasxx2259
      @xxfoxbiasxx2259 Před 3 lety +15

      Lmao I just thought of that 😂😂😂

    • @GS_PlayzFN
      @GS_PlayzFN Před 3 lety +5

      how many subs can I get from this comment
      Current subs: 3,738

    • @Evan-hz1dc
      @Evan-hz1dc Před 3 lety

      @@GS_PlayzFN hello

  • @jenniferl.8111
    @jenniferl.8111 Před 3 lety +21523

    Imagine tourists just seeing this man talking to his invisible children.

    • @abigailalley2290
      @abigailalley2290 Před 3 lety +184

      I was looking for this comment

    • @usefulchickens
      @usefulchickens Před 3 lety +98

      how awkward 😭

    • @billyhenerson2871
      @billyhenerson2871 Před 3 lety +242

      I don't think anyone would be paying attention, since it's complete chaos with way too much going on.

    • @romanalillian
      @romanalillian Před 3 lety +28

      They be like: o.0

    • @grapjai9452
      @grapjai9452 Před 3 lety +117

      it be like ... it's disney, use your imagination

  • @harryjohns18
    @harryjohns18 Před 3 lety +156

    props to this guy who did this in a real disney park

    • @luigikungfu0880
      @luigikungfu0880 Před 2 lety +9

      My guy is making himself seem crazy for content. Indeed, props.

  • @johnharris6655
    @johnharris6655 Před 2 lety +382

    My wife and I went to Disneyland without our kids, they are both married and out of the house. But it was hard not to laugh at the parents with kids with one on a leash and one in a stroller, thinking back to those days. But the stroller parking outside of the Pinocchio ride looked like a traffic jam on I-5.

    • @doughesson
      @doughesson Před 2 lety +11

      You didn't ask anyone with a kid on a leash,"Is he a pound rescue?"

    • @wotan10950
      @wotan10950 Před 2 lety +13

      Don’t laugh, but I used a leash too, and I’m glad I did. I was a single parent back then, with two kids, and one of them would constantly run off. I wasn’t going to take a chance with 50,000 people.

    • @johnharris6655
      @johnharris6655 Před 2 lety +1

      @@wotan10950 I did the same thing.

    • @celinevanruyskensvelde7448
      @celinevanruyskensvelde7448 Před rokem +2

      My parents one time when we were visiting our grandparents in Florida: we’re going to Disney World!
      Me and brother: yaaay
      Dad: no, WE are. Ya’ll have a nice day with Meme and Pepe (grandparents nick names) 🤣
      I was so angry. Now as a 31 year old I do not blame them one damn bit for going once without us lol.

    • @patriciagodfrey6345
      @patriciagodfrey6345 Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@doughesson Be thankful any child is on a leash. I was a "bolter" and my parents put me on a leash, our of sheer frustration. Years later, in 1st grade, the discovery was made that I was legally blind. That could have been unfortunate for any driver. * splat * (Unfortunate for me too.)

  • @mia7639
    @mia7639 Před 4 lety +16612

    “$45 for a pair of bedazzled mouse ears??”
    “Do you want these or do you want to go to college?”
    I’m deaddddd😂😂😂

    • @macias7125
      @macias7125 Před 4 lety +125

      I would’ve chosen the ears 😂😂😂😂

    • @STMARTIN009
      @STMARTIN009 Před 4 lety +87

      Choose the ears you will get more bang for you buck than a $100,000 liberal arts degree

    • @tworpish
      @tworpish Před 4 lety +25

      @@STMARTIN009 when you bring politics into literally anything.

    • @Kahoobb
      @Kahoobb Před 4 lety +38

      @@tworpish how is that politics if it's a college degree lol

    • @katem.3677
      @katem.3677 Před 4 lety +13

      @@macias7125 Eff that I got some (actually well-made) knock-off ears for 12 bucks at a convenience store near my hotel. And you can get last years ears at a Disney outlet for 8 bucks.

  • @xatrix-_-1796
    @xatrix-_-1796 Před 5 lety +6980

    “That dream to meet Elsa,
    You better ‘Let it go’” XD

  • @elijahsimmons2245
    @elijahsimmons2245 Před 3 lety +223

    “Oh you wanna go to Its A Small World all by yourself? It’s gonna turn into a pretty big world when you come out and can’t find your parents”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @devinleek5685
    @devinleek5685 Před 3 lety +110

    0:19 I love how tigger just runs up to him and he just says " Absolutely Not, Absolutely Not" 😂

  • @luckyDancer100
    @luckyDancer100 Před 4 lety +13341

    “You know what I wanna ride? A park bench in the shade.” 😂😂😂

    • @macharmza
      @macharmza Před 4 lety +90

      That one killed me

    • @cookieflavoredoreo4685
      @cookieflavoredoreo4685 Před 4 lety +145

      You have all these wonderful hopes and dreams of riding awesome rides, but once you finally get on them you’re too busy just enjoying that fact that this is the first time you have sat down in 4 hours.

    • @kiyola9990
      @kiyola9990 Před 4 lety +10

      Magnifurcent person I’m dying

    • @ghostlyme
      @ghostlyme Před 3 lety +3

      SAME 🙌

    • @sweetnsour3693
      @sweetnsour3693 Před 3 lety +4

      “Your mom.”

  • @megandelamar6194
    @megandelamar6194 Před 5 lety +14396

    "You know what I wanna ride? A park bench in the shade." Never heard that one but I am stealing it. lmfao

    • @TheDiva4361
      @TheDiva4361 Před 5 lety +51

      That's where I go as soon as I get something to drink!!!

    • @josed6739
      @josed6739 Před 5 lety +93

      @Toori Baba disgusting

    • @jysampson672
      @jysampson672 Před 5 lety +39

      Jose Avendano Disgustingly awesome play of words is what you meant to say my good sir

    • @needymashups5745
      @needymashups5745 Před 5 lety +2

      Toori Baba 😹

    • @noodol6070
      @noodol6070 Před 5 lety +2

      @Toori Baba lmfao

  • @MargoB
    @MargoB Před rokem +30

    "If you don't get back here by the count of three I will spank you into Tomorrowland!". 😂😂

  • @abigailjulia5518
    @abigailjulia5518 Před 3 lety +62

    “All my homeschool kids want to do is visit the hall of presidents”😂😂

    • @shakira1702
      @shakira1702 Před 7 měsíci +1

      He's not wrong. I went to Disney with my cousins, who were homeschooled as children;the Hall of Presidents and Tomorrowland was what they wanted to do. I never knew these "rides" existed until that day.😁

  • @blucomet5248
    @blucomet5248 Před 3 lety +19922

    “She’s not coming out today, that dream to meet Elsa you better Let It Go.” 😂

    • @fabianvanderelst9643
      @fabianvanderelst9643 Před 3 lety +152

      I nose exhaled so much at this one 😆

    • @jookie4207
      @jookie4207 Před 3 lety +110

      How did I not notice that pun? 🤦‍♂️

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes Před 3 lety +28

      That’s bars man 🔥🔥

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes Před 3 lety +10

      comment police imagine thinking you’re qualified enough to keep an eye on people’s comments and calling yourself "police" 🤡

    • @el_matamuertes
      @el_matamuertes Před 3 lety +2

      comment police ight bro imma keep peace, it wasn’t a paragraph tho, take care and have a good day 🙌🙌

  • @ogattens
    @ogattens Před 5 lety +25710

    “Absolutely not, absolutely not...”
    *Tigger ominously jogs up to you*

  • @smallsavage1297
    @smallsavage1297 Před rokem +13

    “Now my wife wants a photo with Gaston; PERFECT.” IM WHEEZING

  • @Asteroid44yay
    @Asteroid44yay Před 3 lety +74

    His accent makes it so much better

    • @IzzyNChrist
      @IzzyNChrist Před 2 lety +11

      lol he sounds like every annoyed southern parent

    • @marlenalinne7958
      @marlenalinne7958 Před 2 lety +3

      He sounds like Todd Chrisley. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @user-tz6wx3mp6k
    @user-tz6wx3mp6k Před 5 lety +20361

    $45 for bedazzled mouse ears? baby, you want these or you wanna go to college?
    I DIED

    • @boxybox100
      @boxybox100 Před 5 lety +134

      Rest in peace 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
      1 like = 1 prayer

    • @CheeseBaller948
      @CheeseBaller948 Před 5 lety +12

      hina kobayashi I died on the inside. But nothing happened

    • @carolinherrmann6311
      @carolinherrmann6311 Před 5 lety +89

      Are those ears really that expensive in the us ?

    • @CheeseBaller948
      @CheeseBaller948 Před 5 lety +70

      Emilie Ozwin yeah they actually are lol you can go to a Walmart and get them for 5 dollars

    • @carolinherrmann6311
      @carolinherrmann6311 Před 5 lety +24

      @@CheeseBaller948 nice to know. We were at Disneyland Paris, where you pay in Euro but I think that would have been around 10 $

  • @charlie..mackeyy
    @charlie..mackeyy Před 4 lety +11162

    *tigger runs up*
    john: AbSolUteLy nOt AbSolUteLy nOt

    • @keddrickjamaal
      @keddrickjamaal Před 4 lety +118

      This is the comment I was looking for LMAO

    • @lukeprescott8471
      @lukeprescott8471 Před 4 lety +158

      I feel so sorry for the guy in the costume 😂

    • @ozzie6141
      @ozzie6141 Před 4 lety +77

      I freaking loved this part xD

    • @fatimabatool4442
      @fatimabatool4442 Před 3 lety +48

      @@lukeprescott8471 He's SO CUTE!! the Tigger guy!

    • @jones848
      @jones848 Před 3 lety +23

      That was the best bit

  • @erinstephany482
    @erinstephany482 Před rokem +8

    “Absolutely not. Absolutely not.”😂 I am wheezing

  • @MarvinClarence
    @MarvinClarence Před 3 lety +41

    ‘Come on, hurry up, your feet aren’t sore, use your imagination’
    Ten seconds later: ‘I want to ride a park bench in the shade’
    A few moments later: ‘I gotta fake a leg injury or something, I need one of those scooters’

  • @thanoswife1254
    @thanoswife1254 Před 5 lety +8532

    “It’s too early to get wet” He captures what a parent is exactly like at amusement parks.

    • @Alyssa-gw7tb
      @Alyssa-gw7tb Před 4 lety +65

      My mom when we go to a water park😂😂

    • @xleemeowx
      @xleemeowx Před 4 lety +11

      so true

    • @spongebob4926
      @spongebob4926 Před 4 lety +12

      Thanos' wife Akima yeah I went on a. Ride at night it’s better getting wet early I got soaked as the park closed so I went like that in the car and when I got to the hotel I was still soaked

    • @thanoswife1254
      @thanoswife1254 Před 4 lety +11

      @@spongebob4926 yeah, I think I get it now, my mom would say it's too early to get wet and I think it's because we were little kids and she didn't want us whining the whole time if we go wet before the whole park because there's bound to be other rides that would get us wet

    • @spongebob4926
      @spongebob4926 Před 4 lety +4

      Thanos' wife Akima but we can get fried easily walking around and all the wind on rides

  • @izzyb6099
    @izzyb6099 Před 5 lety +10162

    Oh GREAT now my wife wants a picture with Gaston. PERFECT.

    • @breannaschaefer5618
      @breannaschaefer5618 Před 5 lety +129

      I actually read this when he said it 😂

    • @izzyb6099
      @izzyb6099 Před 5 lety +12

      breanna schaefer Haha!😂

    • @shannonbeeman8722
      @shannonbeeman8722 Před 5 lety +18

      That line is my favorite! Lol!!

    • @hayleyscomet3447
      @hayleyscomet3447 Před 5 lety +36

      Izzy B the country accent makes these lines 10 times funnier.

    • @supernana7263
      @supernana7263 Před 5 lety +40

      Duds ain't gonna get his wife back from that ripped beast of a man😂

  • @DevinMillarDM
    @DevinMillarDM Před rokem +10

    This is what ASMR should be about.

  • @Jay_Park_
    @Jay_Park_ Před 3 lety +26

    “Well, hurry up. Make believe your feet aren’t sore. This is Disney. Use your imagination”

  • @natalyawitkowski702
    @natalyawitkowski702 Před 5 lety +22564

    “Your mother brought ham sandwiches”
    If that ain’t a mood...

    • @temavero2124
      @temavero2124 Před 5 lety +689

      Next level of "we have food at home" meme

    • @thelastcube.
      @thelastcube. Před 5 lety +302

      Story of my life, if possible my parents would try their best to bring lunch boxes even in airplanes

    • @glens2019
      @glens2019 Před 5 lety +143

      I hear Disneyland food is hella expensive.

    • @natalyawitkowski702
      @natalyawitkowski702 Před 5 lety +153

      @glens Yeah it is, but it’s worth it. I only know this because my grandma actually loves me and got me a pretzel

    • @torimack3884
      @torimack3884 Před 5 lety +15

      Costco ham

  • @ShortieRides3
    @ShortieRides3 Před 3 lety +13386

    “It’s gonna turn into a pretty big world when you come out and can’t find your parents” 😂😂

  • @zacurragazzo9432
    @zacurragazzo9432 Před 3 lety +29

    As someone who was homeschooled, that homeschool line was extremely accurate 😂

  • @Angie-GoneSoon
    @Angie-GoneSoon Před rokem +13

    Love that last line 🤣
    "I will spank you into Tomorrowland!" 😂

  • @morally_honey
    @morally_honey Před 5 lety +5468

    "If you don't get back here by the count of 3, I will spank you into tomorrow land."
    Ahh. Family bonding time. 😂

  • @mazvitaselemani
    @mazvitaselemani Před 4 lety +11009

    *"A 4 hour wait for toy story? That line is to infinity and beyond"*

  • @macandcheese8251
    @macandcheese8251 Před 2 lety +12

    These are some of the best puns I've heard. Like, ever.

  • @RustyMew
    @RustyMew Před rokem +4

    0:19 Most relatable part of the video for me.

  • @shannon_not_found
    @shannon_not_found Před 3 lety +4263

    "Sit down your mother brought ham sandwiches."
    That hit way too close to home

    • @gracesmelodys
      @gracesmelodys Před 3 lety +29

      @Railfan 765 Ya I had PB&J's on bad days and on good days she would buy us Lunchables, my favorite being the vanilla cookies. That shit was the best.

    • @samuelun4297
      @samuelun4297 Před 3 lety +35

      For me it would be a bag of chips and sandwiches with water

    • @woozihae
      @woozihae Před 3 lety +2

      @Railfan 765 what does pb&j even taste like lol is it bad?

    • @ladybug-qh2sd
      @ladybug-qh2sd Před 3 lety +1

      @@samuelun4297 same 😑

    • @nyx186
      @nyx186 Před 3 lety +4

      We packed tuna sandwiches in a cooler bag with frozen water bottles back in 2003 when my mom took my sister and me.

  • @pianorelaxing8330
    @pianorelaxing8330 Před 5 lety +20794

    The accent makes it all the more better😂

    • @garlicgirl3149
      @garlicgirl3149 Před 5 lety +47

      Right!

    • @piadylan1207
      @piadylan1207 Před 5 lety +75

      what accent is it ? (I don’t live in the states)

    • @pianorelaxing8330
      @pianorelaxing8330 Před 5 lety +205

      Pia TWD extra Southern😂

    • @garlicgirl3149
      @garlicgirl3149 Před 5 lety +113

      @@piadylan1207 Not just southern either. There are different southern accents. Deep South accents will sound different then regular south. They are different then Texas accents too.

    • @hayleyscomet3447
      @hayleyscomet3447 Před 5 lety +20

      Garlic Girl exactly. Like the fact that not everyone in arkansas sounds like that.

  • @taylorx6037
    @taylorx6037 Před 2 lety +17

    I went to Disney world when I was 10 years old and all I can remember is my dad complaining about how expensive everything was 😂😂 now that I’m an adult I can see why! 😂

    • @addie-eileenpaige6460
      @addie-eileenpaige6460 Před 8 měsíci +1

      I think Disney could slash their prices in HALF & STILL turn over a profit.

  • @DrTLEvans
    @DrTLEvans Před 3 lety +26

    Lol!! Nailed it 🤣 my kids were crying after we park hopped three parks in one day. Your feet are younger than mine. What do you mean they hurt 🙄🥴?
    Y’all better look at it all while you can. We are leaving Sunday morning. 😩🤣🙄🤣

  • @danny-zi3vk
    @danny-zi3vk Před 3 lety +6880

    "You know what I want to ride? A park bench in the shade."
    Every dad ever.

    • @stephaniebea6073
      @stephaniebea6073 Před 3 lety +60

      As a theme park parent, I vow to use this quote from here on.

    • @evatenberge5229
      @evatenberge5229 Před 3 lety +11

      Damn I got to that part at the same time I was reading this

    • @danny-zi3vk
      @danny-zi3vk Před 3 lety +5

      @@evatenberge5229 Lol funny!

    • @jonquilgemstone
      @jonquilgemstone Před 3 lety +35

      My dad is an adrenaline junkie. Thankfully, one of my bros also likes the crazy rides, so they buddy up. My queasy mother sticks with the queazy brother, and my normal bro and I go on the normal rides.
      It's as if God divied us into a natural buddy system.

    • @monkeybanana3635
      @monkeybanana3635 Před 3 lety +2

      And me

  • @loganblakemusic
    @loganblakemusic Před 4 lety +12752

    “Your mother brought ham sandwiches” bruh that hit homeee 😂😂

    • @rainbowllama9819
      @rainbowllama9819 Před 4 lety +144

      It hit way too hard😂😂

    • @ddebenedictis
      @ddebenedictis Před 4 lety +121

      After spending $1000 on admission for his family, what's another $320 for lunch? Some people are soooo cheap!

    • @8depr193
      @8depr193 Před 4 lety +6

      Ayyy LP logo my man

    • @DctorSkillz1
      @DctorSkillz1 Před 4 lety +3

      All I got growing up was syrup sandwiches.

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya Před 4 lety

      Logan Archer czcams.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/video.html

  • @Jay-cu3rn
    @Jay-cu3rn Před rokem +2

    “Pick up your garbage and throw it away, this isn’t Six Flags” 😂

  • @240fxst
    @240fxst Před rokem +8

    The best dad ever!! Kids you will thank him later!! Thanks for your honest opinions!

  • @Joesy015
    @Joesy015 Před 4 lety +8632

    *“That dream to meet Elsa, you better let it go”*

    • @idkhowtobreathe7710
      @idkhowtobreathe7710 Před 4 lety +48

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥

    • @jayak8217
      @jayak8217 Před 4 lety +21

      🤣😂🤣 Didn't catch this one. I must have missed a lot because of the accent.

    • @sourangel0077
      @sourangel0077 Před 4 lety +4

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• lmao😂😂

    • @danielwhyatt3278
      @danielwhyatt3278 Před 4 lety +3

      And let the tears roll.😢😆

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya Před 4 lety

      •Murray• •HeleneJ• czcams.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/video.html

  • @daud3659
    @daud3659 Před 5 lety +5688

    *I feel like we're going the wrong direction*
    Disney parks in a nutshell

    • @petlover0231
      @petlover0231 Před 4 lety +2

      Lol I love the profile name and pic

    • @evgenkhersonets880
      @evgenkhersonets880 Před 4 lety +2

      Paris Underground un a nutshell

    • @epicgamer-xy6yz
      @epicgamer-xy6yz Před 4 lety +3

      hollywood studios map is the most cancerous thing on the planet

    • @legoghostyoda
      @legoghostyoda Před 4 lety +2

      epic gamer have you ever been to any six flags?

    • @pitigus76
      @pitigus76 Před 4 lety +1

      there’s only ONE DIRECTION *1D* sorry

  • @wotan10950
    @wotan10950 Před 2 lety +152

    True story: I took my two then-young kids to Disney as a single parent. My daughter spotted Sleeping Beauty giving autographs and pictures. She asked, “ooh, can I go too?” I said, “Sure!” Did I know that you had to sign up, line up, and wait?? No. So my kid runs up to Sleeping Beauty, and you woulda thought I just shot up a high school from the reactions of the other parents and employees. Yup, happiest place on earth.

    • @cristineconnell7803
      @cristineconnell7803 Před 2 lety +14

      Lol, NOT! 😂🤣😂 Most stressed out place on earth in my experience!

    • @rodian_skypyratz6181
      @rodian_skypyratz6181 Před 2 lety +10

      Her name is Princess Aurora, but yeah, that does sound crazy.

  • @markmarsh27
    @markmarsh27 Před 2 lety +5

    "If you're wondering what it's like to go to Disney just imagine you're standing in line at the DMV .... And That's IT." -- Jim Gaffigan

  • @desolatioxn
    @desolatioxn Před 5 lety +28499

    “Baby you want these or you wanna go to college?”
    My mother said the EXACT same thing

  • @Tacmedic762
    @Tacmedic762 Před rokem +3

    “Eat a baguette and lose a World War. That’s my impression of France.” 💀😂 omg

  • @furretlikespizza8073
    @furretlikespizza8073 Před 3 lety +35

    Moral of the story: don’t go with your parents

  • @raelee1524
    @raelee1524 Před 5 lety +17682

    "Eat a baguette and lose a world war, that's my impression of France."
    Me: *dies in French*

  • @kyu5242
    @kyu5242 Před 5 lety +2361

    _45 dollars for bedazzled mouse ears? baby do you want these or do you want to go to college?_
    lmao im dead

    • @cuzcrewyeet
      @cuzcrewyeet Před 4 lety +1

      0:14

    • @rngesus3430
      @rngesus3430 Před 4 lety +1

      Rip

    • @valveless4085
      @valveless4085 Před 4 lety

      you want me to call 911?

    • @omgitstracey
      @omgitstracey Před 4 lety

      Leeann Jacket this video is a year old and the new price is $27.99 now. So maybe someday they will be $45 😂

  • @richsouthall1937
    @richsouthall1937 Před 2 lety +7

    Every time I've gone to Disney in recent years; fighting the crowds, the lines, the pushing and shoving of humanity; every other Dad I looked at had the same look on his face; the look that says: "wouldn't you rather be watching a football game with a nice cold beer and some wings?" It was the sort of thing that was unspoken; yet obvious.

  • @ApproximatelyCee
    @ApproximatelyCee Před 2 lety +5

    That cracked me up so much, I’m rolling on the floor! I’m glad my children are all grown up.

  • @reyneo6791
    @reyneo6791 Před 3 lety +12334

    “A four hour wait for Toy Story, that line is to infinity and beyond.”
    This is peak comedy

  • @asmrreyes9180
    @asmrreyes9180 Před 5 lety +5087

    I don’t know what’s more funny the video or he’s by himself😂😂

    • @leandros_ab
      @leandros_ab Před 5 lety +48

      ASMR Reyes the video where he is by himself?

    • @instantmiso9921
      @instantmiso9921 Před 5 lety +50

      @@leandros_ab he's talking to no one.

    • @tomedmond
      @tomedmond Před 5 lety +1

      ASMR Reyes who the **** cares if he is

    • @somethingwithbungalows
      @somethingwithbungalows Před 5 lety

      toxictombo65 he’s not by himself..

    •  Před 5 lety

      He doesn't seem to realise it.

  • @jenniferlaplante1082
    @jenniferlaplante1082 Před 2 lety +10

    Laughing out loud! This guy is AWESOME! 😂🙌

    • @jamesluis1767
      @jamesluis1767 Před 2 lety

      How you doing gorgeous, I'm sorry for infringing on your nice comment and beautiful profile. do you mind friendship?

  • @jenniferkane8904
    @jenniferkane8904 Před 3 lety +5

    The sentence "I want to ride a park bench in the shade" is my Disneyland mantra!

  • @ethancanute4508
    @ethancanute4508 Před 5 lety +5597

    “Eat a baguette and lose a world war, that’s my impression of France.” Someone has the same humor as me it’s amazing!

    • @user-wx9sc4fc2w
      @user-wx9sc4fc2w Před 5 lety +12

      Honestly same

    • @camille517
      @camille517 Před 4 lety +41

      First eaters of mcdonald and the most killed ppl by gun's country is my impression of America ^v^

    • @ethancanute4508
      @ethancanute4508 Před 4 lety +9

      Zama -L over the past few years that’s sadly correct 😢

    • @kearstin1988
      @kearstin1988 Před 4 lety +71

      @@camille517 lmao those are the best burns you can come up with for America? I can do better than that and I was fucking born here!

    • @clarakoesler4152
      @clarakoesler4152 Před 4 lety +33

      @@camille517 Damn, triggered much?

  • @auntiem873
    @auntiem873 Před 5 lety +8818

    You forgot the “Stop your whining, we paid for the privilege to stand in line at Disneyland.”

    • @auntiem873
      @auntiem873 Před 5 lety +62

      Alli Hicks - because most people call both parks Disneyland.
      Yes I know there is a difference but when speaking about Disney parks people just say Disneyland California or Florida.
      So I just say Disneyland. Also, it really doesn’t matter which location your at. These things happen in either park.

    • @prismthegoddess
      @prismthegoddess Před 5 lety +8

      @@Ourstoryathogwarts I know there's Disney world and disney land but I've never been to either and then there's something in Idaho I think?
      ughhg idk

    • @jenniesswagglasses3264
      @jenniesswagglasses3264 Před 5 lety +16

      Alli Hicks because there’s only one Disney World and tons of Disney lands smh

    • @auntiem873
      @auntiem873 Před 5 lety +2

      Alli Hicks - at the beginning, he just says “The happiness Place on Earth”. That’s what Walt called Disneyland.
      But both parks are known as the Magic Kingdom.

    • @kylie42069
      @kylie42069 Před 5 lety +11

      Alli Hicks you must be fun at parties!

  • @jennaevangelista9709
    @jennaevangelista9709 Před rokem +3

    Dear god this is comedy and so true which makes it even funnier

  • @CyanicCore
    @CyanicCore Před rokem +3

    This feels so much older than it is... guess something here is timeless?

    • @DevinMillarDM
      @DevinMillarDM Před rokem +2

      Yeah it feels like a video from 2015.

    • @CyanicCore
      @CyanicCore Před rokem

      @@DevinMillarDM That's the real world I suppose.. just rarer and rarer to see it here

    • @DevinMillarDM
      @DevinMillarDM Před rokem

      @@CyanicCore It gives me the cringey staged social experiment vibes.

  • @GreyM900
    @GreyM900 Před 5 lety +2005

    “Oh for heavens sake pick up your garbage and throw it away this isn’t Six flags”
    That is the most accurate thing ever

    • @qqqikoto4596
      @qqqikoto4596 Před 5 lety +1

      Omg yes

    • @brookekarp4181
      @brookekarp4181 Před 5 lety +3

      I have never been to six flags

    • @GreyM900
      @GreyM900 Před 5 lety +3

      Brooke Karp dirtiest park ever

    • @Razzy1312
      @Razzy1312 Před 5 lety +11

      @@brookekarp4181 For the past 2 decades or so six flags has been on the edge of failure at most of their parks. Their plan has been to invest all of their money in the latest extreme rides and market themselves as the thrill seeker's theme park. This has been at the cost of almost everything else, so most of their parks are dirty and old but people still come for the rides.

    • @yetzyreyes9921
      @yetzyreyes9921 Před 5 lety +1

      Razzy1312 it’s the closest amusement park to me! So I will resort to six flags 😂

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican Před 3 lety +4541

    "Eat a baguette and lose a world war"
    Historians: *Actually*

    • @JaydenCollectsBalloons
      @JaydenCollectsBalloons Před 3 lety +28

      I see your comments everywhere

    • @acapraichu4879
      @acapraichu4879 Před 3 lety +39

      aCTuAlLy NaPOleoN wOn mOre waR tHeN TheY LoSt iN wW2!!11!!!1!

    • @LA_HA
      @LA_HA Před 3 lety +14

      @@acapraichu4879 So... Napoleon won a buncha World Wars...is what you're saying.

    • @Cerita__Dunia
      @Cerita__Dunia Před 3 lety +23

      @@LA_HA i mean.. Napoleon war mostly in Europe and let's be honest.. World War is actually another Europe war

    • @LA_HA
      @LA_HA Před 3 lety +9

      @@Cerita__Dunia Well... except the war zones that didn't take place in Europe, yeah. Hence, the World part of World War. haha. But, I see your general point.

  • @wafam.4597
    @wafam.4597 Před 2 lety +2

    “My love language is quality time but not this much” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ij1376
    @ij1376 Před 3 lety +4

    Best part was Tigger. That was spontaneous and awesome.

  • @spacegeneral8630
    @spacegeneral8630 Před 4 lety +4579

    "This isn't six flags"
    The sad thing is, that joke is so accurate to six flags that it hurts

    • @SnozBerryQueen
      @SnozBerryQueen Před 4 lety +56

      Used to work there.....I feel personally attacked.

    • @ikkiduniya
      @ikkiduniya Před 4 lety +2

      generic gamer czcams.com/video/cJFSTV62rZY/video.html

    • @esla1885
      @esla1885 Před 4 lety +10

      @@SnozBerryQueen currently work there, I don't 😂

    • @motiemo
      @motiemo Před 4 lety +93

      For real though. It's so dirty and grimy there compared to Disney parks. And I feel for those who work at Six Flags parks. I saw a worker guy once have a mental breakdown and angrily kick his garbage collector over, yell in despair, and then sadly pick it back up and continue working. I wanted to hug him.

    •  Před 4 lety +27

      Six flags is terrible. I use to work there. Now i get ptsd whenever i pass by the park on my way to Walmart

  • @lauracarter7536
    @lauracarter7536 Před 5 lety +25980

    as someone who works at disney, i can confirm this is 100% correct

    • @shipmint5487
      @shipmint5487 Před 5 lety +791

      Nobody needs to work at Disney land to know this is true all u need is a dad

    • @dattebayo7781
      @dattebayo7781 Před 5 lety +295

      Hm, Is it fun working in disney or nah?
      I'm getting genuinely curious about it😂

    • @lauracarter7536
      @lauracarter7536 Před 5 lety +439

      Deku is a broccoli it’s alright. it’s more strict than most places in terms of like dress code and stuff, but i get into the park for free so it’s fine 😂

    • @-__9767
      @-__9767 Před 5 lety +174

      Laura Carter thank you and ur coworkers for doing the most to make kids happy 🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @myahjohncox7090
      @myahjohncox7090 Před 5 lety +35

      What do you do at Disney?

  • @taylorx6037
    @taylorx6037 Před 2 lety +2

    0:19 Tigger runnin up on him while he’s saying “absolutely not” is the funniest shit🤣

  • @SikandarDurrani
    @SikandarDurrani Před 3 lety +3

    My father was the cool father. Half way around world showcase I suffered a migraine attack to the nth degree. I passed out on a park bench and while my mom and brother went around my dad sat with me. In the 15ish adult years I’ve been visiting the happiest place on earth I’ve seen and heard every single one of them comments you’ve portrayed in this video. Thanks for the laugh.

  • @cloudyday7714
    @cloudyday7714 Před 4 lety +7069

    "A four hour wait till toy story, that line is to infinity and beond". That killed me

    • @charlieruns7953
      @charlieruns7953 Před 4 lety +38

      The funny thing is he looked towards the ride when he said but he was in the Magic Kingdom. Toy Story is in a different park- The Studios.

    • @silenteyidentityv2150
      @silenteyidentityv2150 Před 4 lety +11

      beyond*

    • @opiumlab00
      @opiumlab00 Před 4 lety +5

      ruby boo “beond”

    • @silenteyidentityv2150
      @silenteyidentityv2150 Před 4 lety +1

      @@opiumlab00 it's beyond

    • @opiumlab00
      @opiumlab00 Před 4 lety +1

      Silentey Identity V ur dumb af. i was making fun of him. no shii its beyond.

  • @faithfultotheKing
    @faithfultotheKing Před 4 lety +6766

    Imagine going to disney and seeing a grown man yelling at his kids but he doesnt have kids with him....just his phone

  • @emeraldstudioproductions4031

    I recently went to Disney World and my favorite ride was the park bench in the shade.

  • @aspectaura
    @aspectaura Před 2 lety +2

    1:00 sounded like a video game character when he said "perfect"

  • @maddier7820
    @maddier7820 Před 4 lety +4809

    I got lost in Disney world when I was 3 years old. I wandered off & when the park was closing, my parents had to go against all the traffic of people heading out of the park to try and find me. They found me having an imaginary tea party in a gift shop...

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 Před 4 lety +342

      I saw a little dude crying for his parents at Disney. Little, not so little anymore dude out there, hope ure ok.

    • @NerdyGal28
      @NerdyGal28 Před 4 lety +445

      I got lost at two in Disney World. Pooh led me back to my frantic mother. I, at the time, thought it was hilarious.

    • @rosean374
      @rosean374 Před 4 lety +66

      I have always wondered about and judged mothers who lose their kids in theme parks. They have failed motherhood

    • @maddier7820
      @maddier7820 Před 4 lety +260

      Rosean Henson Well, you must not have a lot of friends if that’s how you treat people lol... This happens to basically everyone. You’d be very, very lucky to say you’ve never had your child wander off before.

    • @maddier7820
      @maddier7820 Před 4 lety +61

      SoCalNerd28 Yeah, I was off in my own little world. I also hated strangers though so it’s not like just anybody would be able to snatch me without a fight. If one of the millions of workers there saw someone dragging a little screaming and crying kid, I’m sure they would question it. 👌🏼

  • @ivyrose_writes
    @ivyrose_writes Před 3 lety +1789

    "Does it have air conditioning? If it doesn't I don't wanna go."
    Mood.

  • @danieldaniels7571
    @danieldaniels7571 Před 2 lety +6

    This reminds me why most of my memories of going to Disneyland with my parents as a kid aren’t good ones.

  • @caroll.99
    @caroll.99 Před rokem +3

    "This is Disney, use your imagination"😭😭😭

  • @kawaii.universe2003
    @kawaii.universe2003 Před 4 lety +2865

    And here we have Tony Stark taking his kids to DisneyLand.

    • @luxury2092
      @luxury2092 Před 4 lety +24

      Brilliant!

    • @healerofthewaters6508
      @healerofthewaters6508 Před 4 lety +152

      You mean taking PETER, right?
      Tony: Now you stay close to me at all times.
      Peter: Yes, Sir, Mr. Stark!
      Peter: (Wanders off for a sec)
      Tony: Peter? Peter! PETER!
      Peter: (Surrounded by children climbing on him because "SPIDERMAN!") MR. STARK HELP I JUST WANTED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! One came up asking for pictures and then they MULTIPLIED!
      Children: (Turn and see Tony) IRON MAN!
      And Tony and Peter never went to Disneyland again...

    • @florentinenice9146
      @florentinenice9146 Před 3 lety +33

      @@healerofthewaters6508 what about Morgan, Nebula, Harley, Vision (and Peter, you have him). In ff those arw his 5 children...

    • @Sherry-xf9li
      @Sherry-xf9li Před 3 lety +7

      Florentine Nice nebula? 😂 tony's child😂 damn what did I miss?

    • @haleeyyyyyy
      @haleeyyyyyy Před 3 lety +3

      *dont*

  • @bejewelledgaming
    @bejewelledgaming Před 4 lety +3559

    “Pick up your garbage and throw it away this is not six flags” has me dead

    • @gerstein03
      @gerstein03 Před 4 lety +33

      pettyvibesx roblox Walt Disney made sure that you were always at least 30 steps from the trashcan in his parks

    • @memphisstef3808
      @memphisstef3808 Před 3 lety +13

      @@gerstein03 how is it possible that Walt Disney predicted that I would be at least 30 steps from everyone

    • @maxpower4504
      @maxpower4504 Před 3 lety

      Explain this joke please 🙏

    • @mfmiinka8026
      @mfmiinka8026 Před 3 lety

      @@maxpower4504 Six flags is dirty af

    • @KazuhaEien
      @KazuhaEien Před 3 lety +2

      I'm planning to go to the Great Adventure soon. Is it any good? Keep in mind that I will most likely NOT go on any of the thrill rides.

  • @amyschuhmann1814
    @amyschuhmann1814 Před rokem +4

    Why does the Southern accent make it all the more glorious

  • @month6130
    @month6130 Před 3 lety +1

    How did I just find this? This is my favorite video on CZcams !!

  • @MCFishNuggets
    @MCFishNuggets Před 3 lety +5691

    Rule number one: don’t go until your kids are at least old enough to remember it

    • @davidkonevky7372
      @davidkonevky7372 Před 3 lety +377

      Honestly adults get more enjoyment out of it than kids that can't even count past 100

    • @ng3414
      @ng3414 Před 3 lety +252

      Yes! I went to Disneyworld once when I was 4... I hardly remember anything from it

    • @glowbug4603
      @glowbug4603 Před 3 lety +76

      I went when I was three and loved it, so to each their own I guess.

    • @Termsofseve
      @Termsofseve Před 3 lety +119

      @@glowbug4603 yeah, do memory tests on the kid and see if they have long term memory, if yes, bring them. if no, babysitter time

    • @keerthivijay3335
      @keerthivijay3335 Před 3 lety +17

      I was 6 when I went n I still remember.

  • @hanaeve__
    @hanaeve__ Před 5 lety +555

    “Oh you wanna go to it’s a small world? Well it’s gonna be a pretty big world when you come outside and can’t find your parents.”
    I’m CRACKING UP 😂

  • @hollow3656
    @hollow3656 Před 2 lety +1

    "Eat a baguette and lose a World War, that's my impression of France."
    The best line by far in this video

  • @itsasmallworldtake4bideos643

    0:52 this is Benjamin Roberson parents

  • @FedUpFancy
    @FedUpFancy Před 4 lety +5075

    "Eat a baguette and lose a world war thats my impression of France." Dude has me dying XD

    • @Pop_Candyz
      @Pop_Candyz Před 4 lety +34

      My grandfather in a nutshell

    • @jduff025
      @jduff025 Před 4 lety +4

      I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣

    • @YZER19
      @YZER19 Před 4 lety +30

      Actually 2 world wars.... and the French-German war .....and the French-Russian war before that.... I could go on....

    • @FedUpFancy
      @FedUpFancy Před 4 lety +5

      @@YZER19 That's interesting. I didn't know they lost so many wars.

    • @Lozo39
      @Lozo39 Před 4 lety +37

      Rose Volanti France won WWI ...

  • @jrw2319
    @jrw2319 Před 5 lety +4015

    AbSoluTeLy nOt *abSOLUTELY NOT*

    • @thewanderingwriter4448
      @thewanderingwriter4448 Před 5 lety +47

      *Tiger comes running for your soul*
      Edited cause I don't even know if it's Tigger or Tiger. :)

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM Před 5 lety +15

      @@thewanderingwriter4448 It's official, his name's tigger

    • @josed6739
      @josed6739 Před 5 lety +3

      @@thewanderingwriter4448 ITS PRONOUNCED TIGER

    • @josed6739
      @josed6739 Před 5 lety +3

      THE NAME IS TIGER YOU NEVER KNOW OF A TIGER IS A BOY OR GIRL

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM Před 5 lety +6

      @@josed6739 Wait a second, a tigger is a female tiger??

  • @andsoitbegins464
    @andsoitbegins464 Před 2 lety +8

    I just watched this and laughed out loud! I think all of us can totally relate! Thank you for the smiles. :-)

  • @fairygal8223
    @fairygal8223 Před 2 lety +2

    This is just too precious for words!

  • @jay_mem
    @jay_mem Před 3 lety +2813

    Basic people: *makes a disneyland vlog*
    Intellectuals:

    • @jakeryndak5284
      @jakeryndak5284 Před 3 lety +13

      Well ACTUALLY *ahem* this is Disney WORLD. Not Disney LAND. You seem to be rather *annoying pause* “slow”
      (And now imagine I said all of that as a super richEuropean guy from 1456)

    • @PrinceFloof
      @PrinceFloof Před 3 lety

      We have an even split of basics and intellectuals

    • @PrinceFloof
      @PrinceFloof Před 3 lety +3

      @@jakeryndak5284 Slow people can't take criticism, you forgot that one

    • @LosHitman
      @LosHitman Před 3 lety

      Umm what’s the difference from Disneyworld and Disneyland

    • @demoblaster
      @demoblaster Před 3 lety +2

      @@LosHitman The Walt Disneyworld Orlando Resort is its own small city district located in Orlando, Florida. All of the other Disney themeparks are called either Disneyland, located in Anaheim, California, or Disneyland Location-name-here for those outside the US.

  • @user-kf7wn3gs4l
    @user-kf7wn3gs4l Před 4 lety +4081

    it's funny cuz he's not speaking to anybody
    just imagine being a bystander looking at him

    • @karma_tography
      @karma_tography Před 4 lety +9

      Allison Lucas too bad they can’t hear him 🤑

    • @aces_pretty_face2927
      @aces_pretty_face2927 Před 4 lety +118

      Nah if he's in Disney world he's not in top 100 weirdest people in the parks that day trust me

    • @NoU-pf8fc
      @NoU-pf8fc Před 4 lety +8

      Allison Lucas I’m guessing that they would look like your profile picture

    • @fsirjyy147
      @fsirjyy147 Před 4 lety +8

      Its 2019. Everyone in America has a phone, and makes, or knows what a video in CZcams. If someone is talking, and has a phone, or camera they know they are making a video.

    • @Aethelhadas
      @Aethelhadas Před 4 lety +3

      SimpleMan.45 exactly but I think twas a joke

  • @arpitipical
    @arpitipical Před 3 lety +6

    "Baby you want these or you want to go to college"
    5 year old me : I'll pass

  • @str8upkills60
    @str8upkills60 Před 2 lety +4

    Not every dad. My dad would just never go to Disney world😂😂😂

  • @bblulz7554
    @bblulz7554 Před 3 lety +5518

    THE DAMN STROLLERS. WHY DOES EVERYONE BRING THEIR INFANTS IF THEYRE NOT EVEN GONNA REMEMBER ANYTHING

    • @jennifermurphy9590
      @jennifermurphy9590 Před 3 lety +246

      My parents are making me wait to go so I will remember lol

    • @timesmash
      @timesmash Před 3 lety +130

      Because it's hard to get a babysitter for the entire weekend?

    • @jennifermurphy9590
      @jennifermurphy9590 Před 3 lety +224

      @@timesmash Just wait until your kids are older to go yourself

    • @RoroRoseD
      @RoroRoseD Před 3 lety +105

      I'm guilty as charge 🤣 i guess i did it for myself and cute baby photos

    • @skylarnicole8077
      @skylarnicole8077 Před 3 lety +16

      @@timesmash more like the entire week for me lol

  • @lydiajayatilleke6085
    @lydiajayatilleke6085 Před 5 lety +4412

    “A four hour wait for Toy Story, that line is to infinity and beyond” IM DYING 😂😂😂
    Edit: oof I wasn’t expecting this many likes thanks

  • @sheilaolfieway1885
    @sheilaolfieway1885 Před 2 lety +3

    Every parent at Disney in 2022 "Ya know let's just go to universal"

  • @thepickyeatersclub
    @thepickyeatersclub Před 2 lety +1

    "Pick up your garbage and throw it away. This isn't Six Flags." 🤣

  • @cherrypop58
    @cherrypop58 Před 3 lety +3424

    When Tigger was running I and he was like “absolutely not absolutely not” I WAS WHEEZING OMG