MY ANOREXIA RECOVERY // food rules // a bit of wedding
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- čas přidán 23. 06. 2018
- I've always had the most bizarre food rules with my eating disorder, defining how, when, and what I am allowed to eat. A big part of recovery has been challenging some of these rules and my fear foods, but I find if I don't stay on top of the rule it can easily either creep back in, or morph into something else.
Mentions:
Tabitha Farrar (go and watch her, she's awesome!): / @tabithafarrar
Instagram: megsy_recovery
You are such a light in this world and I can’t wait until you see what we see. Xx
Oh my god, what a sweet thing to say. Thanks for all your lovely comments and support. Hope you're having a good weekend x
I listen to your videos like a podcast and it feels like we are hanging out. You always say what I need to hear 💕
Right! Anxiety means you’re probably doing something good! For me I also need a life without restriction because otherwise I know my anorexia will never go away. WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER! I’m here for you❤️
started watching you when i was really really sick and it’s incredible to see how far we have both come i feel like we’ve been in this together yay thank you so much for everything meg x
Soumya Krishnakumar good for you, keep going darling 😘
You’re doing great! I am proud of how you are doing ☺️ Love how you are able to open up your mind gradually 💕
That's such a good point. It's so easy to let yourself get too comfortable and before you know it, you haven't challenged yourself in weeks. Loved this video!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ MEG❤️SY SHOWS US LOVE, she is the friend from the other side of the world, the light we’ve met along life’s road, teaching us & strengthening our ways for a brighter tomorrow.....As i sit here tonight I feel your struggles 🙈 & just wanted to reach out & give you a hug 🤗.... Just know your in our prayers Beautiful... Keep well & pushing towards all you are wishing for & more... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👰🏻🤵
Megs, I really love you SO much. I've had an ED for almost as long as you are old and you have inspired and helped me so much. This year, I have finally put all the pieces inlace and have totally committed to my recovery and your vlog is helping me every day. Thank you.
I'm on board with the loving of the house being clean!! 😁❤️ And that is such a cute idea for your wedding. Regarding the 'rules', it's crazy how saying them out loud it's quite easy to see how batshit crazy they are. *doesnt take away from them feeling so real and emotionally/ mentally challenging to break! Great vid once again! X
You are seriously just like a friend. I feel like you say what I need to hear and what’s on my mind. I have absolutely learned that I can not do with ANY food rule. No matter WHAT it is. IT has always led me Spiraling. I have tried different restrictions with my diet-like limiting animal products -and my head space goes right on back to old ways.
Joy Cooper totally, me too. For me rules & restrictions are totally off the table if I want any kind of mental freedom
Great to hear this(your experiences) yes... Tabitha is awesome!!!! Your really inspiring, the fact that you are continuing to challenge those ED thoughts and urges..it's Soo hard to change but possible to fight against it. 😎🖤🖤🖤💪👍
Amazing as always meg! I’ve needed this a lot recently, I still have so many strange rules and they have transfered or minimised like if before I feared pizza, now I’m more comfortable with it after challenging it.. I may be okay eating half and my illness convinces me I’m not hungry enough for the whole but I think it’s just a little trick! Also I reakon that heart was supposed to say when my mum hugs me! Great little vlog x
Amy Do yeh the rules are so sneaky aren’t they!! & you’re right, that must be what the heart said 😂
Love the paper hearts idea... that is so adorable! ❤️ I just started doing food challenges and sometimes I'm so motivated to do them and other times it is the hardest thing in the world. Thanks for your videos! Love watching them to keep me motivated... your personality and spirit is awesome 😊
LuckyASMR yeh totally, I’ve got a video to post on how to maintain motivation. I find that too, I know I want to do it until the foods in front of me & then suddenly it gets really difficult. Keep going lovely 😘😘
You are so inspiring, I just had sausages for the first time in 3 years still not over the fear but eat repeat! xx
I am doing oposite actions to the fear I always comment the same cheesy things underneath your videos, so i loved this!!
I also agree that all food rules lead straight to the restrictive mind set so for me it's just easiest to say I don't have any and try to eat everything!
I had so many rules I might as well just list what wasn't a rule LOL, I love what you said about repeating challenges because it is so easy to slip back to old habits even when you think you've conquered something, that sneaky ED! Thanks for sharing how you are overcoming the food rules, it is a full time job to stay focused on recovery but we are doing it love bug! Go England, woo hoo, xx!! :-)
Wokeupwith Ashli got England indeed! What a result 🙌🏴 & yeh, I have to keep breaking the same rule several times a week for several weeks (or months) before it becomes comfortable
Wokeupwith Ashli - OMG yes! My list of things that aren't a rule would be much shorter!
LOL Right?!
Exactly, it's such a process!
Those pancakes looked yummy, we usually put the batter in first, then the berries. But your method looks better, easier to flip!! Hope you're well!!
You are so inspiring to me!
Ngl. watching your videos makes me feel satisfiedly bloated without even eating sadly it’s a trigger video but not
your fault sweetie ♥️ wish I
had your strength 😢
Your amazing ♥️
1-I love your hair like that.
2-RED MEAT-still so scary
3-PORK-still scary
4-rules SUCK!!!
Kimberly 1- aww thank. 2-4 challenge / repeat / challenge / repeat 💪💪💪
Cor your so right blimey it's a flippin mindfilled when you actually see what your saying I'm the same it actually really dos sound like we are crazy but food disorder is crazy and so complex 😂
Another terrific video. I get so happy when I see you have posted one. Thank you. When are you and Brandon getting married? I thought in one video you said you were engaged.
July 18th 💛
Megsy Recovery of this year!! That’s so exciting. Are these hearts for the wedding for your wedding. I thought they were for a friend
Your videos are soo supportive!! We are in a very similar situation..I have been in ED (or rather EDNOS) for over 15 years... Sometimes I ask myself it it is even possible to get rid of such strong habits that have settled in myself over years... The challenge I have never overcome is to feel comfortable in a bigger body. I can eat whatever for a while, but once I start gaining weight, I feel so uncomfortable that I go back to (yet very subte) restriction to get back to my favourite body... :-/ Do you have a similar feeling? You also seem to be quite thin, so I wondered if you are experiencing weight gain and how you deal with it...
Tangerinka410 yes I totally get that. I read somewhere that after full weight restoration it usually takes around a year for people to feel comfortable in their body’s. So I think we have to be patient & push through (easier said than done) & not freak out & run back. I still need to gain more weight for my body to be at it’s set point
I’ve just started refeeding and I’ve finally put weight on I noticed that because I put weight I started to try and restrict again even though it was one week how do you avoid this?
pineapple time yeh the yo yo thing, dip your toe into recovery & weight gain & then freak out & run back to AN again. Have you watched my video on yo-yo?
I can relate to the restricted eating routine/amount. Tonight, I had my usual oatmeal and 'felt' the need to 'eat more' than usual. I 'caved' in and made another portion and felt guilty afterward like whyyy I didn't wait for the satiation to sink in??? Sometimes overeating does make me feel sick.
Kim Lau that doesn’t sound like over eating at all hun, especially if you wanted it. Hunger doesn’t have to just be a physical pain, if you’re thinking about food & craving it then that is hunger & that is your body messaging you & saying it needs & wants to eat 😘
Thanks Megsy!
The physical appearance of bloating is bad enough already and just this morning, a sales person asked if I was pregnant! Then she apologized when this wasn’t true. It’s quite triggering as my stomach tends to bloat a lot in the morning (I drink a lot of liquid and maintain a high carb diet), but I can’t hrlp to think maybe I’ve gained weight and want to restrict ;(
So I already watched this video it the second you posted it bc I was up all night and couldn’t sleep plus I always watch your videos ASAP. I commented last time and I think I might’ve mentioned that I’ve been watching you for awhile, since probably March. I love your videos and really respect you so much for MANY reasons. So I have a question that I would like your opinion on. As you know anorexia can be very isolating and I kind of cut off or distance myself from my best friend. She was my best friend for like 3 years and we were practically the same person. Always thought the same stuff, everyone always commented on how much we finished each other sentences, had exact same humor we’re always together, and she knew everything about me which no one else did. While trying to recover, one night I just broke down crying and wanted to tell someone what I was going thru for once and she was the only person I Felt like I can trust/tell even though we hadn’t talked in months. we say hi around school and everything but nothing like a real conversation which I had been kind of avoiding. So I told her I had an ED and everything (on the phone) I kind of tried explaining to her what it was because I know before I had one I had really no clue. she pretty much said she knew something was going on & something like that because even a lot of other people at school noticed too and she said she missed me & of understood what it was said she understood because her movie she watched which I watched as well. anyways I regretted it right after and I made an excuse to get off the phone. she said she was going to call and check up or whatever but she never really did. Every time we talked after we didn’t talk about it. no one brought it up and I kind of avoided her even more. A few months after she started saying she missed me again and she tells our mutual friends this. This is going to sound really selfish but I am almost upset with her reaching out. she’s the only person that knows and I think it’s kind a messed up that she claims to care about me so much but she never even checked up on me afterwards. Idk because that night I want to be saved but I feel like no one cares enough to actually help & I cannot ask for it myself. (This is very long but I was trying to get you to understand the situation so sorry if your still reading) Long story short, she is still tell our mutual friends she misses me but do you think I should be friends with her again and maybe rekindle things. I’ve wanted to many times but I always feel like it’s not gonna go to back to how it was before all this, the only reason she reaches out is bc she hasn’t made a friend that she’s close with like we were, she feels guilty about not helping, and it just won’t be the same. I’m not even the same person anymore even if I wish I was.. it’s also kind of awkward with her now which is crazy since she was someone I always felt I can be my 100% self with with ik she felt as well when we were best friends. Anyways opinions? Idk what to do because I do miss her and going into senior year feels weird without her but then again, all the reasons I listed.
I’ve never posted such a long comment🤦🏽♀️😂 writing essays n stuff but thanks for anyone who took the time to read it :)
Omg I 100000000% say get back in touch with her properly, for some many reasons. EDs rob so much from us, don’t let it take this friendship too. She obviously does care about you, but maybe doesn’t know how to help. Tbh EDs are so bizarre & hard to understand, so it’s not a surprise if she doesn’t get it. The point about you’ve changed, I guess we’re all changing all the time as we grow up, but this ED change in you is not really you!! So don’t think you don’t get on as well because of your ED, that’s not you!! I’m sure you can be good friends again, it’s just this bloody illness. It steals our personality & openness & friendships. I really hope you can keep in touch & open up to this special friend again 😘😘😘
Megsy Recovery thank you for the advice. Your right in all of it lol. I definitely am still the same fun person I was before it’s just sometimes I have to try really hard to be me if that makes sense and that can be exhausting. I think I will reach out to her and hang out with her over the summer, hopefully we can become good friends again. Thanks for you help :) Love from California ❤️
💛🌻
I see love when my cats come running when I call there name
Ahwww so cutee
I was wondering have you ever actually got rid of your scales as part of your recovery and do you still weigh yourself? Only that obviously this can be very triggering so just wonder how your psychologist has recommended you handle this. I thought it might a helpful topic to discuss as I'm sure we all deal with the number on the scale and the how it effects us in recovery or whether she recommends an occasional weigh in for health reasons or just stop all together,. Also wondering how you feel about your upcoming wedding and body image with such a special event. Of course we all usually want to look good for something like this and photos, do you find this an issue, thanks love your channel so much xx❤️
Karin M ultimately I want to stop weighing myself & just let my body be at the weight it wants to be without me obsessing about & controlling it around a certain number. Whilst I’m still gaining weight she tracks my weight weekly - to make sure I’m not over weighing & becoming obsessed & also not avoiding. Yeh it is an interesting topic, I can think about it in a video one day. As for the wedding, yeh it is hard to think about. It’s taking a lot of bravery & opposite actions to go against the thoughts I get of like “you need to lose weight for the dress”. I have to really consciously fight against that kind of thing 🙈
Thanks I actually have a wedding to go to and even as a guest I'm already thinking about how I've gained some weight and there will be people there who haven't seen me in ages and will notice I'm bigger which I know is so ridiculous but it is amazing that just everything can just be triggering in your own mind like I'm not the bride and I'm sure the focus will not be on me at all.. so frustrating xxx also the other day someone told me I look so much healthier which I immediately took as she was saying I was fat, so crazy, I know she didn't mean it like that. she mentioned I look more womanly and curves which I just hated lol xx