The Most Important Question of Your Life - Mark Manson
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 08. 2023
- Mark Manson is an American self-help author and blogger. As of 2023 he has authored or co-authored four books, three of which, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Will, were The New York Times bestsellers.
To learn more about Mark Manson, please visit his website markmanson.net/ or check out his youtube videos / @iammarkmanson
Thank you for choosing to struggle to give my piece such amazing visuals. Really brings it to life! 😄
Thank you for the wise words. I'm happy to struggle through another one anytime!
bro, this is ligit the best advice I've ever gotten after being in the self-help and self-improvement for most of my teens.
90% of the people get into so much complicated shit in this self-help space, that thy never get the basics right. really appreciate your work 🙌
It’s nice seeing you on this channel Mark, you’re an inspiration
Great vid and thank you Mark for the mindshare!
Reading your book again right now. It helps give me focus on what I actually give a F**k about.
Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs TONS.
Choose your pain or it will choose you.
Absolutely!
Spiritual growth. Becoming the best version of yourself is not a struggle, nor is it painful. What is painful is the lack of growth--- it feeds on your enthusiasm for new experiences. This is a deep-rooted existential pain that leads to addiction of one sort or another. This is not the uncomfortable experience of delayed gratification, but like a cancer slowly eating away at your dreams. Envy is one of these diseases.
Damn. This one hit me 🙏🏼
@@carefulcarpenterThe birth of the new, requires the death of the old. Though for you it may be pain-free, for me, and most, it is challenging, including physical and/or emotional pain. It is the suffering, the thoughts ABOUT the pain, which could be: heartache, gut-wrenching, something one cannot swallow (difficulty swallowing), pressure, stabbing, burning. Spirituality (Buddhism) made this distintion clear for me, yet it, along with many truths, requires systematic and well-guided practice. I suppose, apropos to this video and Mark's message, Spirituality could be "the willingness to experience pain, and fail in many ways (there are many pitfalls, yes?), and hopefully experience a Transformation/Transcendence along the search for TRUTH."
Just my thoughts, which come both from my experiences and reading. I also have had the grand experience of realizing my former Spiritual Bypass. It seems that for some, the call comes from the pain and suffering, while others, perhaps yourself, "slip into enlightenment." Maybe not literally.
Real talk
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
― Jim Morrison
My favorite thing to do is help other people. Makes me happy.
My favourite thing is to plant trees, and I do that on every day of suitable weather (big garden). To me there is nothing better than to find a bird's nest snuggled in a tree I planted a few years ago.
This could NOT have come at a better time. Thank you After Skool and thank you Mark Manson.
Learn and act accordingly 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary]💖
"Who YOU are is defined by the values YOU ARE WILLING TO STRUGGLE FOR!" Great quote!
Struggle is about restriction and imprisonment, not about the challenges involved with spiritual growth and personal success.
Poorly chosen word:struggle.
@@carefulcarpenterOh no what will we do????
I don't get the idea of being defined by ... well... anything.. What does it mean to be defined by something? Who is doing the defining? ourselves?
@@eyesears2046 Yes--- that is why I question how language(words) are being redefined to suit new contexts.
Learn and act accordingly 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary]💖
To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48).
Yes, my friend: this is indeed a lesson in "no pain, no gain".
This confirms what I already figured: I don't really...want much of anything. The struggle I have is whether to resign to being alright with that, accepting it as a part of who I am, or rallying against it, and trying to change it while I still have some time left.
What is it that you want most?
Can you achieve such, will it make your life better or more enjoyable.
Willingness to keep going even if only incremental improvements towards the goal is what's needed.
-this is how I'm approaching what I want most, land with a creek and to build my own small home for two. I am 48 wasted so much time and money, but I can do this because I've decided it's certainly worth it.
@@surfside75 One piece of advice I'd give is assuming you have a partner, clarify and compromise since you may want different things. Furthermore may I ask why (presumingly) you have no children?
@@Anonymoose66G Thanks for the advice as I agree.
One child, previous relationship. Grown and successful. I'm now 48 in a relationship that will lead to marriage. She's 32 and wants her first child. I'm 15 years older so I feel that it is my obligation to do so.
@@surfside75 No problem, fair enough, do what you want to of course. I'm not entirely sure why I assumed you had no children probably because of tunnel vision and unconscious bias. 32's definitely later than most so I assume she thinks she can't put it off indefinitely and it's been on her mind awhile. Must be quite nerve wracking especially because of a higher risk of complications after 30 (usually) shouldn't be an issue however. Then medical bills if you live in The USA which is most likely because the original creator is American. If you are American, do you have child benefit over there? I know you don't have legally required paid maternity leave.
If you're feeling OK where you are, and it's not hurting you much. Stay! You might change in the future. No rush to get the achievement award lol
While others can guide us, the questions of how to live and who to be can only be answered from within
💯
Absolutely not.
@@KrwiomoczBogurodzicy absolutely yes. It is weak and cowardly to look for answers from a guru or in an organization or a crowd. At best you can hope for some useful advice.
@@creed22solar123,
It's naive and arrogant to look within for answers.
@@creed22solar123 The answers on how we live our lives does not come from within, it's dictated by other powers, genetics, etc. Nobodies saying a guru will tell you anything of use, however one must recognize there are extrinsic guidelines on what you should do with your life.
I find the number of people who are unwilling to accept facts (such as many of those detailed here) mind-boggling.
yeah this is incredibly accurate. i have a friend who makes good money, but the toll it takes on him is not worth it.
what i don't understand is how many people spend 50k+ on a vehicle, yet the amount of work they have to do to afford it massively surpasses the vain benefits of driving around now and then to impress strangers
Nobody even gets impressed 😂. The people luxurious vehicles attract are people you want to steer clear from, usually excessive expenditure is due to an intrinsic insecurity and it can help people feel confident, feel like they've succeeded and like their the boss, just as putting on a nice watch, nice suit and looking nice does.
@@ChipMunkz-uh2oy We don't just like things though, there's an inherent reason why we like or dislike something. So why do you like nice clothing? Is it of superior quality and more comfortable? Probably, same with expensive cars however you don't need to buy the brand for quality, you just need to buy the quality.
Learn and act accordingly 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary]💖
yup. the Stoic principles of "the obstacle is the way" comes to mind.
I remember I used to dream to be a tennis star when I was a teen. Then one day I randomly flicking between channels and stumbled upon a tennis semi-pro self documentary that didn't make it. That player struggled through continuous loses with hardly any earnings, playing matches no one watched, he lost his coach through terminal illness and because of so many struggles he faced, he clang on the past of little glory. It's was tough to watch but I am glad I did because that make me questioning myself whether I am willing to go through that. Fast forwarding 40 yrs, I am having a very different life raising my family. Although that tennis guy may think he is a failure, he is not. He has done a huge favors to a lot of young kids there.
6:29 "...wasn't in love with the process." That's deep
Those who enjoy the pain and struggle are those who gone make it.
Happiness is overestimated and pain is way overestimated too.
Balance and harmony is what matters the most. Keep things simple. A simple life is the best.
"Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life."
As a musician, and an athlete, it's a trade, an exchange, but one you'd have no other way. It's not learning to like the hardships, or suffering through them for the point of suffering, it's because you can imagine your life no other way - there is nothing close to the fulfillment of creative release that could compare, and so, it would be impossible to live otherwise without compromising the foundations of who you are, beneath the social masks and the expected norms, it is a truly personal realization, that as a cat, you cannot exist as a dog.
Very well put. Life should not be struggled through to reach your dreams.
This is the Field of Dreams. Truly.
If you are struggling--- change positions.
That as a cat you cannot exist as a dog , nice!
Who else is a cat?
@@noelmwavu9838 I feel like I might be a dog. Should I start taking pussy blockers? I’m 8. In human years.
until a bomb falls on your house, your family gets murdered and you lose all your limbs. Then you can't paint, throw balls into holes anymore, whatever. How would you go on without your precious creative endeavors? What if you went to prison and they threw you in solitary confinement? You'd just evaporate if you couldn't make that rap album or get that Hollywood role pretending to be a cowboy! Or put a ball into a hoop!
It's all just vanity and ego, bud. Man's way of pumping up his own pride, doing useless sh!t and patting himself on the back for it. Some of us have achieved greatness and look back and think 'that was nice, but in the end it doesn't really matter.'
As someone with many interests, and I mean A LOT, I discovered last year that there were only a few things I was ready to grind for, and ironically, those where the things I found myself doing for hours without even having to plan time for them.
Writing for example was one of them. I could write for hours without complaining. Sometimes I would end up with pages of gibberish with only a migraine to show for my efforts. Other times the pages were blessed, at the cost of heavy eyes and a sore back. The point is I was actually DOING something. I was actually writing.
Watching this video brought things into better perspective for me. If there is one thing I truly want for myself, it definitely is to become a fictional writer.
I hope we'll get to read your book/s someday soon 😊
Thanks for the encouragement@@anxiouscucumber9
Thankyou, you just helped me too and also gave me perspective 🙏
This is a tremendous sentiment 👍
Likewise @trueguesser
Would love to see you succeed in the field of writing!
If you approach life with a conscious, balanced, optimistic outlook and bear the consequences of your actions with humility and dignity. And most of all learn from your mistakes, you’ll be sweet.
Don't be optimistic, be realistic.
@@Anonymoose66G realism helps keep you grounded. optimism can help you through your darkest hour sir
@@belfastbuddha2237 I don't agree, realism helps you through dark times far better than optimism, if your optimistic bubble crashes at any moment your doomed. However maintaining a realistic viewpoint allows you to actually accept what has happened and how you can persevere.
@@Anonymoose66G I won the Optimists Award in high school which granted me a small scholarship for college. Optimism got my wife and I through 44 years when the legal system was bent on breaking us. After a 7-year battle in an unlawful foreclosure, I witness the corruption first-hand, whereas, the Bank was betting on the decline of our marriage.
I witnessed how cheating and delaying works against most skeptics. Realism surely would depend on knowing how it was going to turn out. Even our attorneys were speechless after the ruling. Facing our darkest fears with courage trumps a corrupt judicial system.
I have evidence to absolutely prove our case. The problem becomes extremely complicated. The skeptic will feel proven right; though the optimist learns the truth. There is a significant difference.
44-year marriages are built on trust and finances--- one gets to choose. You likely will not have both.
Learn and act accordingly 👉The Connections (2021) [short documentary]💖
how to handle a sick society and stay sane is the struggle one will have for a lifetime,once you see through all the crap...
Absolutely brilliant! At 70, I agree 100% !
for what it's worth you are a rockstar Mark Manson when it comes to breaking things down and spreading the truth in bitter chunks. You even kinda look like a rockstar.
great video! thanks for sharing that message with us. As Carl Jung once stated: “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
Have to accept that much of life is dictated by random chance. Examples- where and when you are born. -genetics/health/ IQ. -social network during childhood. -physical appearance. number, kind, and timing of experiences, successes, failures, opportunities, accidents, events and people you meet.
I disagree. Your life is not dictated by chance, as there are no coincidences. Regardless of the external factors, you always have the power of choice to create the life you want and to grow or adjust no matter what the circumstances are.
@@Kalond_irlanda not if you're born in North Korea
@@Kalond_irlandaI dissagree with both you and the previous response, life is balancing the random chance and agency (choices you make). While it is true that you cant determine your starting point and feature, and you can control a lot of how to plan your path. There is no guarantee that you can succeed in the current attempt. The facts are, life is unpredictable by nature even with a strategy. You cannot dismiss random chance as a non factor to how your events are shaped as it does play a part. It isnt the sole part.
Try to remember that if you live in the west, you're probably richer than 80% of the world's population. Strive for bigger things, but be more satisfied with the smaller things. It's the smaller things that often matter most.
I truly enjoyed this video. Had you asked me, as a young man, what pain do I want in my life I would have told you "not much". In fact, I had often said that I wanted to cruise through life as un-noticed as possible, with as little stress as possible. And I did. I had taken many interesting career paths, met countless wonderful people and didn't struggle too much at all. Now I am 70 and peacefully retired. After viewing your video, I took a look back over my life and discovered that I was much more successful than I would have expected. I suffered little, enjoyed much and arrived at retirement at peace with myself and the world. Am I wealthy? No. Am I famous? No. Am I happy? More so than I can explain. That is MY definition of success.
Excellent video Mark. Is nice to see the face behind the voice, the ideas.
Aw man, as a musician that hasn't done anything besides DJ'd a few underground parties, this relates to me heavily... Currently struggling through a job that bores and pains me.. Applying for other positions at the moment and did just hopefully join a new band. You have to make time for things, life always gets in the way and we make excuses and procrastinate.
The trick is to work on finding your goals, what truly elevates you. And then invest some time every day to cultivate desire.
Intent is the major factor for success, and by cultivating that intent every day, you practically get pulled towards your goals rather than having to push all the time. Because life comes at you either way, and there's often a good argument as to why "pushing today just won't work for me".
@@PrebenFrenning❤
I feel like I'm your future self.. I'm a DJ and a mallcop.. I choose to have a shitty job to pay the bills because despite how much I hate the job it allows me to focus on what I want. I still play smaller underground party's all the time because I enjoy them and I know they lead to bigger things like major festivals and being support to world class djs .
I'm not at the top of my game, because I don't really want it, I am happy where I'm at. If I play half a dozen solid events a year, it makes that shitty mall cop job really worth it. Things improve, you just need to know what your struggling for and that is a marathon, not a sprint. Shit, I even met my wife at a DJ gig :)
Blimey. I think I needed this. Thanks for the clarity, mate!
The chanel start to repeat itself. Ok we all get it no pain no gain
"i want a good slave wage" i think we should all choose freedom and liberty over whatever we have now
The good kind of freedom though.
Not the kind of freedom to do whatever someone wants to rape, kill, destroy, steal, etc.
Those are all bad freedoms which would just make things more chaotic and just as bad as a zombie apocalypse.
@@VYMQGSOH that's not freedom and nobody with a functioning brain thinks that it is
I can confirm that this is indeed …the way
The music section…. My god too real my guy. Love it!!
Sadly there's too many people who go to work, apply themselves and they try and try for years to reach a goal but fall short because of circumstances none of them have control over. In time the constant need to succeed makes us mentally ill and damaged. It's not worth the heartbreak, not in the end, because we all die and that's what makes us equal. 😢
I love this! “I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn’t. End of story”
Mark Manson really helps come to terms with reality in a healthy way.
Great…. Great…. Great video
Simply wow
Thanks Mark , best book I've ever read ! PEACE LOVE DOVE FROM Jimi Edwards and 444 RECORDS
Some people self-sacrifice for others! I took care of my mother after my father's death for 33yrs! My older 3 sisters did nothing but held their hands out after Mother died! We don't talk anymore! Shame! I'm that guitar player for over 40+years! Never got a chance to busy taking care of every one!
Sorry for your losses. If someone want to self-sacrifice for others, that one wants to self-sacrifice for others. I tell that to myself.
@@mailoservivo Either a person cares about others or they don't! I'm not a person that kicks people to the curb! That's the easy way out! Thanks!
You have to love the journey as much as the destination.
I believe there is no good or bad experiences in life. Every experience is of the same value. They are all apart of the beautiful equation that equals you. Being here right now reading this comment alone means your in the right place in life, the going the right direction. Take care of your brain. Your soul your frequency. Keep the momentum going don't look back. You are worth while, tour beautiful your awesome❤
This was enlightening Mark! I will apply this.
I absolutely loved this. I am one of those people who suffered to achieve their life's dreams. I am 64 and have fulfilled almost all of my childhood fantasies. Not a single one of those achievements came without sacrifice and "pain" as you call it. The best part is that I am not finished yet and probably will not until I am lying on my death bed. Along the way I have learned what I want and, by having realistic expectations, what was possible. I am not rich, but want for nothing more than to experience life to it's fullest on my terms. That is what I have done and that is true happiness. BTW, I have read your book, when it was first published and thoroughly enjoyed it.
This is a great video. The problem is the focus on the outcome. The journey or struggle is what you to enjoy.
Good video! I'm just reading Mark Manson's book. :)
Pain educates, pleasure rewards effort.
Dont work construction.
@@youknowkbbabyI run heavy equipment
One 9min videos sold me on the book I’m pumped. Thank you for the brain dump
I'd say Mark achieved his end goal of being admired for his talent and creativity, just took a route he hadn't initially expected.
What pain do I want? Fascinating inquiry👏🏽❤👏🏽❤
He did not give a fuck when he threw that book behind him… he’s a professional 🤩
Get clear on what you want. Set strong intentions.
Focus your efforts. Follow your gut.
Thank you for this! 👏👏👏
That hurt! 💯♥️♥️🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
It’s very rare i rewatch a longer CZcams video. Even more rare, (and I can’t even think of more than a few examples) do I immediately rewatch one…this is one of those extremely rare few. I’ve watched probably 5,000 hours of self-improvement videos of various natures, but this one hit home today. Maybe it’s where I’m at in life or maybe it’s that it’s just different than other videos, in that it cuts to the core of our identity, but I’m very grateful for this work.
Great video After Skool, thank you.
Thank you, Ralph!
no its not
@@tofonaz8338 So courteous and productive of you to soil another person's enjoyment, especially with such a dull and unsupported claim. You must be the pride of your hometown.
Loved that, loved the book, and appreciate a dip in the truth.
Thank you
This video kind of goes with what my dad told me. He told me to pick my battles selectively and win the ones I pick.
Perfect timing is perfect ♥️🙏🏽
What I've learned over the decades is that many of the desires I had to be this or that were not my own. They were societies social constructs and my life has been a process of figuring out what is truly my own and discarding what was the cultural narrative of how to live or what to be. IMO, true freedom isn't about wealth as much as it is about liberating yourself from Social conditioning.
Possibly the most important video I've watched
I worked in the music industry for a long time. The greats are great because they put in the work without considering it work. The greats love to practice they love to do the hard things. The performance with an audience is wonderful, but it’s nothing compared to the magic that happens while we’re preparing. The Taoist concept wu-wei, or effortless action is exactly this.
The last sentence man! ☝️👌👌👌
Yeah some people just fluidly enjoy the process of what they're doing. But how do you find something that allows you to feel that way? The only thing for me personally that made me feel that way was gaming. There was always fluidity to it everyday (I understand they are addicting so that makes sense), but Video Editing for example I found a fun process to struggle for.
Then it came to a point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore. This is pretty much how every endeavor I go on turns to out to be. How does one become content or financially secure if this is all they ever face?
@@renjiaow3742 Same. Keep trying different things that are close to what you already like. Something might click.
Hole. Lee. Shit.
Ummmm, that was LIFE CHANGING.
Wow. Truly that was one of the best CZcams videos I’ve ever seen. Incredible.
Okay time to put the phone down and get to work!! 📈💯
This is such a rare perspective to have these days and i appreciate it because its true. Theres a lot of people saying we shouldnt have to struggle to achieve our dreams but the reality is its just not possible. When i was in my 20s and 30s i had a big list of things i was going to achieve. They were all lofty and ambitious and now, in my 50s i realize I didnt want most of them enough to put in the work and thats ok. I have accomokiahed a lot. I still have a couole of big dreams left, but I let the rest go and that is peaceful.
I would love it if you did a video on thankfulness/gratitude
I was bullied as a kid and teenager, the other day the bully and i have become friends after 40 years and i thanked him for making me aware of people and making me tough. You can look at your struggle as a blessing or a curse.
Excellent ❤🎉
Interesting that I enjoyed this so much and didn't connect with your book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck".
I was in a different mindset about a year ago and it was very detrimental to my growth at the time. Maybe I'll visit this book again.
Great talk. 👍🏻
Wish I watch this 20 years ago.
Yes yes, of course. But what drives you and motivates you to go through the pain and struggle? That is THE question.
This video comes at a point in my life where I finally gave up all of the illusions I was harboring my entire life. I've come to realize that you should be completely honest with yourself when you're starting something new. Otherwise, you'll end up spending a good part of your life caught up in the deceptions of your own mind.
Deep Insight! Thanks for the open and honest look at our society and ourselves!
Choose something/ someone, you love so much.. and let that be the thing that kills you...
Not everyone enjoys pain. I don't see working out as a negative. It's good for your body. You don't really suffer a negative. Dealing with people you don't like can be draining.
Never stop doing watt you doing respect
Yes character comes first!!!!!!
Good video. It expanded on the quote by Henry David Thoreau “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Mark Manson is the GOAT. Every piece of advice he has is astoundingly simple but because of that it ends up becoming more profound. His words are not washed in rhetoric, in hyperbole, promising something so exciting and transcendent. Instead, he gives it to you completely straight. This talk is a great one. My problem in life at the moment is I can't answer this question. I wish I had the strength to answer this honestly and compellingly, but instead, I am so overwhelmed with suffering and pain that the only answer I ever have is 'I want the pain to stop.' I wish I knew how to turn my suffering into something good. But I am miserable every single day. If anyone has advice on how to get up and do something with your life when you cannot stand being alive I would much appreciate it.
ask yourself the question why you feel so much pain ? What is that you are thinking about that keeps you in this negative emotions? Sometimes if our minds are in dark places it only sees the dark and now it is your responsibility to get yourself out there. Try with getting out of bed and make yourself ready even if you are not going away. Write down all your negative thoughts and see what happens.
Gratitude is the antidote to suffering. Start there. Next, don't follow your passions. Instead, discover your purpose and be passionate about it. Be well and do good. Wishing you the best, my friend.
I agree gratitude for everything in your life is critical. Take nothing for granted, every day every hour of life is a gift. it's ok to not know what you want - that is actually the norm for most. You are one of the few to recognize it for what it is and that is a painful understanding. Without sacrifice without pain we gain nothing. You will get through it but you are being tested. no pain no gain is not a cliche. The greater the struggle the greater the victory. The depths of your despair are the mirror for the heights you can attain.
@@davidcollins2648 beautiful said
I AM so sorry that Your Life feels like this at this moment. 😢 I AM sending Light, Love and Blessings towards You. ❤
We need this, especially now. Superb. Thanks.
This is so true if you really want something you go get it regardless of the struggle you get it. So wanting something and getting something is different because if I want something I will do what ever it takes just as long I don’t hurt myself or anyone else and my fantasy are just that
Thank you, Mark! Thank you After Skool! I’m 38…this explains so much in my life.
My greatest passion in life is writing books. I describe this as my curse. The agony of writing and rewriting, never knowing if anyone will even read it, let alone if it will make enough money for my troubles. At this point, it's all about embracing the pain with the potential.
Thank you! 👍🏼👏🏼✔️
Amazing advice. Simple. Choice. And know the costs. Some things are priceless but other things you wouldn't take for free.
So in short no pain no gain....Thank you for the artistic reminder. Be well.
Good After Skool, good points! It's not "advice" per se, just a taste of reality. Thanks.
Bryan Tracy says define what you want, define the costs, and resolve to pay those costs in full, upfront.
Pain is the True Pleasure
And The pleasure is the real Pain
Thank you for taking your time to make this.
Thank you soo much fr this video ....I never thought a CZcams video would actually change my perspective of life
U the Best!!!
Lemme go get tht book
And here you are with your excellent timing again, After Skool. Definitely needed to hear this right now.
I read like two mark manson books over and over again when i was like 17 and it planted seeds that were super against religion and he gave me full confidence to just TRUST MY SELF. after a couple years of searching for the truth i was like ahh man mark manson’s books ultimately led me to destruction. Smh. Ig thats what happens when you trust a mans word. A creature instead of the creator.
I'm totally buying this finally on Audible the timing is freaking epic 😅
Perfect timing. I love you After Skool. I love that I love you. Much gratitude.
I love this thank you 👊🏻
This is the best testimony I’ve heard, I got what I worked for but nothing is easy or guaranteed! I did that 🎸 guitar solo in front of many crowds