marie kondo gave up on tidying: my thoughts // revisiting marie kondo in 2023
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- marie kondo gave up on tidying: my thoughts // revisiting marie kondo in 2023
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A lot of people seem to hate watch perfectly nice people but have no issues with actually problematic people that shouldn't have a public forum. When I see people like her being hated on I wonder what's wrong with people? I mean this woman has never criticised or attacked anyone's lifestyle.
Or said her way was the only right one. She simply offered advice for people seeking it. No one else is concerned? She's a consultant not a cult leader
Honestly people need to get a grip 😂 You've summed it up perfectly!
100% agree with everything said.
It’s honestly scary how much ‘joy’ people seem to get from the failure of others.
omg 😂taking spark joy to an entirely new context
I remember when folks would say that the “joy” aspect was dumb because surely trivial things like scissors can’t bring you joy…maybe not, but surely I can get rid of the crappy scissors I avoid like the plague for scissors that actually work. In that sense, those working scissors give me joy 💃🏽
I remember hearing that all the time so much so I had to address it in the original video I made. Marie Kondo addressed that in her book and said basically what you did. Functional items that make life easier count when it comes to the practical. Imagine not having a vacuum when you have carpet. You'd be pulling out your hair so frustrated!! An ease of mind can definitely count
I agree. I couldn't get into MK and the joy thing. If you have a ton of space and money, you can get a lot of joy lol. I know for me the issue is space. I couldn't relate to her at all or the people who follow her.
Personally I don't think Marie Kondo gave up decluttering, she gave up perfectionism. Some people are only truly happy when they see someone else 'fail' (in this case, Kondo had a shift in priorities and direction which I agree is brave to acknowledge, especially in the public eye).
My top takeaway from the KonMari method was always the keeping what sparks joy for me and the chapters about using your best stuff/making every day a 'special event' by wearing/using the things you'd be stashing away in storage.
Agree with you that most people who 1, criticised the method and 2, celebrated her 'downfall' probably didn't read the books or took the core message to heart.
You could be right that she's just leaving perfectionism behind but I guess we'll never know 🤔 I love that you had some great takeaways 💕
"As a tidying professional, I sometimes pressure myself with expectations that my house should always be in order. At times like these, however, I have learned to pause and remind myself to let go of perfection. If you find you’ve run out of time or emotional space, I recommend letting go of something. The trick is to decide what your bottom line is on any given day. In my case, it’s that my children are healthy and happy and that I don’t get worn out."-Marie Kondo Kurashi at Home (pg 31-32)
New book supports your theory.
It’s almost like she used step one of her own method by making a vision statement and then said, “I’d like to spend a little less time on keeping my house in order right now because that choice would make me happy.” She’s literally doing what she’s always advocated for; setting your life up in a way that supports your happiness. Like you said though, you’d have to have actually read and understood the book to get that.
this is actually a great point!!
Your nails look super cute.. decluttering is a personal journey, I believe she just shared her ways to reach true happiness within what you own. Lately I'm not finding joy in my collection, so it is time to do something about it.. change doesn't mean failure
I read Marie Kondo's book when I was already pretty well decluttered and comfortable with my own system but I did pick up her sock-folding guidance, and especially find the idea of storing folded clothes so they're visible/accessible from the top rather than stacked useful to keep in mind.
Hadn't realised there had been a blow-up like this to be honest - it's amazing what people can work up a fuss about XD
Right?! I'm not sure anyone would follow everything she's said 100%, which is perfectly fine. Pick up what works for you, like you with the sock folding and leave the rest!
I love clean and tidy spaces, but now that I have children, it feels really impossible to keep things tidy. I don't blame her for prioritizing other things during this time in her family life.
Why on earth would people get so worked up about her changing her life? Are we not adults who have the ability to choose for ourselves whether we like someone’s suggestions or not? Nobody on this planet HAD to follow the konmarie method. She did not force anyone to do or not do anything! She suggested a viable method of clearing your home of unwanted items,find a place for everything and keep it in that space -what is to hate?
100% Lola!
As you said, I learned a lot from her and her rebranded does not invalidate everyone's positive experience with her method. People are allowed to change and grow. Good for her.
Did I read Marie’s book? No. Did I watch reviews, break downs, and interviews of her method? Yes. I don’t view her method as a minimalist end all be all. I didn’t take it as a can only have X amount of each thing, and all of it has to spark joy. I used her method as a reasoning tool for decluttering my stuff. Why was I hanging onto some old dress I hated that my mom bought me? Why keep all these eyeshadow palettes that don’t spark joy each time I use them? Her changing doesn’t mean her method doesn’t work, it just isn’t what she needs in her life right now. Ppl change. Situations change.
Well said!
Another great video! When I heard she wasn’t decluttering right now, I just thought - yep! Sounds like a busy mom. We go through stages in life, such as sometimes organized, sometimes that’s not the priority. It’s normal. It would be odd if we stayed exactly as we are and never change or evolve.
I was never given the skills to organize or clean. Her method was extremely helpful.
In a certain way, I understand the pure vitriolic hatred of Marie Kondo. People saw a woman who wanted to take away all the things that made THEIR lives worth living just because that didn’t bring MARIE joy, and they set out to attack the threat to their happiness… without realizing that what they were attacking was a massive straw man and not what Marie Kondo stood for AT ALL. And I think at that point they didn’t care if the threat was real or not, they just clocked her as a threat to their happiness and viciously defended the stuff that brought them joy against the evil onslaught of minimalism with Kondo as its figurehead. Now, as you have mentioned, Kondo doesn’t advocate for minimalism at all, and would actually encourage her attackers to keep each and every item that makes them happy. Many people are so so fearful of people taking what is MINE and they finally found a face to the boogeyman of minimalism (the great taker of all things that wants to steal from them) in Kondo. Truth, reality, and reason have no place in a desperate defense of what little you have; fear is the only voice.
OMG yes, this!! Marie Kondo doesn't actually want to come for your stuff 😂 You REALLY got to see that in the show. She really didn't try to lead people to make choices in the show- like get rid of your books. She wanted people to keep ALL the stuff that made them happy. all of it. like you said. I feel like folks who don't see that either: didn't read the book or are committed to misunderstanding her. Either way folks need to get a grip 😂 Marie Kondo doesn't care about your workout equipment or dog toys.
Yeah she didn’t say she quit she just said her home is messier now. She’s human. Her philosophy/method still is beneficial.
I feel like the outrage is very predictable. People love to put others "into little boxes" and the CNN quote is so accurate. People get angry when you want to try something new! Even on a personal level, I've had "friends" that get mad when I start showing any kind of change or personal growth...
Yes, exactly!
Yes, me too. I lost a dear friend when i started to study again (getting my degree in psychology) i was working at the same time, and that was hard, i was studying at night. But i had this friend speaking so evil behind my back... i was devastated when i found out.
Totally agree with your comments unpacking why people take umbrage with Kondo, and all the comments I’ve read thus far. My family has adopted an unofficial motto of “You like it, I love it”: why hold anger or upset in your heart if it’s working for someone else and not hurting anyone?
I think this speaks too to the fact that we don’t know what we don’t know. From the headlines I’ve read (because I’ve completely passed on reading the articles, as her decisions don’t affect my life), her pivot may have stemmed from family changes? I actually respect her for essentially admitting that her method requires some adjustment depending on your personal situation. She seems like a mad classy lady tbh. People just love to get worked up over inconsequential things 😅
I love your family motto! And exactly!! She's mentioned her changes come from growing her family and I respect the hell out of someone who sees something that's not working and just says: yep, time to change.
I love Marie Kondo and the concept of keeping what brings you joy and weeding out the rest. I do not understand why people feel the need to bash her at all.
Marie Kondo's folding method totally changed the game for me! I've showed other people in my life about it and while not everyone appreciated it as much as I do, I plan on following her folding method for future years!
I didn't agree with every single aspect that she promoted (taking everything out of your bag everyday is more of a hassle for me than it's worth) but she definitely had some gems
She seems perfectly nice. I totally get what you mean about her decision and how it would have been really hard for other to make the same choice and move away or say that the system isn’t work for her. I think still it does validate the people that the system doesn’t work for since it isn’t perfect I don’t think anything is or can be perfect.
I liked that she provided a new way to look at the issue many people have with organization and clutter, but also with the new update of her choice to move away from that lifestyle that maybe the upkeep isn’t realistic for everyone. It does become taxing to put stuff above other things. Sometimes after a 10 hour shift I just can’t bring myself to organize the kitchen and make it look the way it’s supposed to. Sometimes I just need the permission to become a hermit and sleep. The way media blew up the minimalistic lifestyle is more of a problem in my opinion.
I think instead of bullying her on the internet people should just move to a different style of organizing their space. For me hygge still works better and makes life just less stress inducing. Which makes me wonder that maybe I never had the issue of clutter in the first place but was influenced by the tide of minimalism
what an interesting perspect! Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed some of her principles myself but it was never a 100% fit, and I also enjoy exploring other metods too. I haven't done a deep dive into hygge but would love to because I love that kind of thing. I think your point about being influenced by the tides of minimalism is also super poignant
This may even be coming from minimalists. Some minimalists get mad when other minimalists don't live up to expectation and / or go a different route. They're either judgy or feel betrayed.
I have felt with some minimalist who switch gears that they no longer appeal to me. Others not so much. It's hard to say why or why not. I like relaxed minimalism. I don't love when minimalists seem to swing jn the complete other direction. You know what happens when I no longer vibe with them? I unsubscribe. Oh well, our oaths are just different.
Good comparison! I feel like the collective disgruntledness is similar to when someone tells a CZcamsr I'm unsubscribing. Most of the time they're like ....ok? 😅
Wow, I just heard your comment about staying in a situation just because it's safe and what you know. Just today I set up a job interview outside of my experience. I'm scared, but also excited. Thanks Shawna 🙂
I am SO PROUD OF YOU. As someone who has done the same, I know the courage it takes. I hope you're proud of you too Linda 💓
I don't get how the fact that she decided to not follow her old habits/ways equals that they are bad or that they don't work! If she was on a diet and now she's decided she doesn't want to be on a diet or she doesn't need to diet anymore, would that mean that the diet was bad or not working?No!
Absolutely Spot. On.
Agree 💯 Marie brought us a lot of ideas, great ideas and tools to keep ourselves on track! I think the show of course brought an unrealistic fantasy out stuff would take care of it’s self after but it’s forever changing what works for us. The point that everything doesn’t work for everyone. These are just tools.
Exactly! And use whaever tools you find helpful. It's not an all or nothing thing where if one thing doesn't work for you everything is useless
I agree 💯
You could be soo poor that you hord everything on flee market and always say YES to other people's trashy clothes etc.... this is a poverty problem that marie kondo could help. Both in only spending on what you love and appreciate what you have and not be so scared of not having much stuff.....
Not related to Marie Kondo...but to overshopping/make up hype: I have just been reminded how utterly unhelpful, uninformative and product/newness pushing majority of make up reviews actually are (whether intended or not) by someone actually giving a detailed, honest and helpful review of a new product. What really hit me was the reaction. I've looked at multiple reviews of a new palette and only 1 of the people gave an actual review as in discussing the quality, performance, formula etc of the shadows in detail and trying /testing each on its own. After watching all reviews you could see and gather that the performance wasn't that different for that person: they just were trying to actually test it for the purpose of informing others to make a well informed decision instead of "playing" for 1 day with the newest product of a fav brand they as usual got for completely free. Under all other reviews people were talking how now they had to get them all even though not needing them because of just how amazing the looks were. The one honest and informative review :almost everyone said how they were going to skip the release despite being excited because of how disappointing the shadows were. I know the brand /have multiple palettes and can confirm the review matched my experience with all other of their releases just usually not a single person getting PR will tell you. The "negative" review simply described the actual performance of the shadows without a lot of helping of setting spray or glitter glue and was the only one with actual close ups without studio lighting and real time application. That person wasn't overly critical or negative.. You could see the issues with your eyes. So basically the 1 actual review showing you how the product actually looked and would look on us people who don't spend their time in studio lighting made people want to skip. I have seen this a few times now and I don't know but it just really hit me how much people's decision to buy/hoard stuff they wouldn't want if they saw it with their own eyes is made by "reviews" that really aren't reviews but plain product pushing /buttering up a brand /shopping addicts sharing their drug. It should not be surprising perhaps but I'm quite sure that most people looking for reviews or watching beauty YT for "help" are not fully or consciously aware in that moment that what they are seeing is basically an ad/lie. No one wants to buy a product they dislike or don't want when they see it in reality? But even when we make bad experiences I feel its so easy to forget again and get sucked in. It's mind boggling?? I mean people went from... Most amazing eye shadows and brand everrrr to OMG so disappointing don't want that.. For the exact same product!!
This is an interesting take. I'm not sure what I'd say about reviews because I don't watch a ton. I do know some reviewers dont seem that critical and love just about everything but idk that id call that dishonest. I'll have to look at reviews with a fresh pair of eyes next time I watch
@@shawnaripari if you say you love something when you don't that's definitely dishonest and it does happen with some people. Or people stating that something is amazing, you have to have it, they would get so much use and then later declutter it saying they never used it, don't like it, it's not special etc that happens too and you would at least wonder why they told you the opposite first? It's at least sign of a flimsy not very accurate, thoughtless review if the "advice" given to you does not even hold up for the person giving it? But I'm also referring to things like certain colours not blending well, colours being sheer /not pigmented, colours looking the same, a shimmer being a topper, getting hard pan:all this is very critical information that most people look for in reviews and that reviewers generally address. If a reviewer dissects most palettes for these and is usually picky or critical about it telling you to skip but doesn't mention any of these matters or issues that make them dislike other products with specific releases or certain brands then this is at least odd and suspicious. And if you look at enough vids of someone you know how they apply make up, what they like, how they film and use tools... And I had occasion to see someone struggling, shadows were sheer or patchy, things were swatched over a base, weird cuts when applying make up, they used helpers they reject to use for other reviews etc etc but the reviewer not mentioning /reviewing the apparent issues they have. That's definitely dishonest! As critical information they know you need is kept from you.
Things like this I do see a bit actually from creators for specific hype brands. Sometimes you'll hear what they actually thought of the product in a GRWM, collection or declutter...and from people who review the product that bought it with their own money bringing up these things. I watch a lot of smaller and midsize beauty channels and have an annoyingly good memory of what people say and I see a lot more of this than most people are aware or willing to acknowledge
Never got into her. The minute I hear about joy, I think about people who talk about practicing gratitude. I cant get into it and roll my eyes.
Ugh...not a win for capitalism! 😔
I loved Marie’s books and followed her method. There’s an old saying that you can’t preach what you don’t practice yourself. I didn’t realize she wrote her books when she was so young and prior to having real life experiences. I’m not angry at her but rather disappointed because now everything she wrote feels like a fraud.
The ladies from the Home Edit have shown their houses on the show and with kids it was decluttered, but not perfect and lived in. I follow a woman on CZcams who has a cleaning business, she films in her house and again it’s clean, not perfect, with a small child.
Also Marie books specifically said not to buy organizing bins which she ended up selling. I felt her announcement did invalidate everything she taught because it showed that her system couldn’t work for her in real life. She should have said nothing as she was out of the spotlight anyway. I’m not trashing her online anywhere but just think we were all bamboozled by her “teaching”.
Back in 2020 you said you weren’t going to be influenced to have fake nails like every other CZcamsr, I see you’ve changed course as your nails look very pretty today.
Thanks for sharing a different perspective here than many of the other comments, I appreciate it even if I personally disagree.
I also think you misunderstood my original comments in 2020, nice of you to drop that comment three years later 😉
@@shawnaripari Huh? 🧐You know I posted that comment last week on the video when I watched it. I remember clearly the whole chapter of the video on nails and no it wasn't about the cost of the nails.