How to Give Feedback-Especially When You’re Dreading it | Christine vs. Work
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
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Giving feedback can be tricky and awkward, especially if you’re conflict averse. How do you give feedback that’s empathetic yet effective?
Giving feedback, especially if it’s constructive, can be difficult and agonizing to deliver. One extreme is to brush concerns under the rug and wait until the very last minute, with potentially disastrous results. The other extreme is to come across as blunt or judgemental-which can unintentionally create a defensive, disagreeable relationship.
That said, the “gift of feedback” is one of the most valuable ways to help others improve and grow in their role and career. If done correctly, giving quality and effective feedback creates real, positive change. It pays to deliver feedback with clarity and empathy.
In this episode, Innovation Editor Christine Liu turns to Liane Davey, author of “The Good Fight”, for answers on how to give critical feedback at work, and how to practice getting better at these tough conversations.
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Learn more about Liane Davey: www.lianedavey.com
00:00 You knew this episode was coming.
02:09 Common Mistakes When Giving Feedback
03:15 What if we just don't give feedback?
04:02 The Recipe for Useful Feedback
06:58 What if they don't agree with the feedback?
08:03 Queue the practice montage!
08:41 Let's do it for real now.
09:49 Feedback on the Feedback
#feedback #communication #management
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How do you feel when you have to give feedback to others at work? -Christine
I am also very conflict averse. Anything that I perceive as conflict makes me nervous. I have been guilty of sweeping needed feedback under the rug. However, this step by step methos makes it feel less intimidating. I also like the idea of preparing to give the feedback and thinking about how you want to come across.
I'm terrible at giving bad news. Haha
I love this "Feedback is about you."
Step 1: Specify incident
Step 2: Nouns and Verbs
Step 3: Talk about how you saw the feedback.
Step 4: Dialogue, listen to their reaction (Give space) or reinforce "That was my experience on it".
Orient
Behaviour
Impact and
Question
I've basically implement the FBI method, feel-behavior-impact. The key is to not be judgmental, be specific and consistent
I also like when skilled critical thinkers focus on a topic rather than a person involved and rarely critique the person but always the topic which is a skill to be developed and can be certainly objective.
It's also helps to go into these conversations with a truly open and curious mind-set. Get more information from the other person about the event before jumping to your own assumptions about what's driving their behavior. Assume good intent.
To give an empathetic yet effective feedback, I suspend judgment until I have adequate information of what is going on. As we transition from the age of information to an age of free exchange, the need to verify sources cannot be stressed enough. Now more than ever is the time to rally behind the tapestry that unites us as people by making leadership more inclusive through effective feedback exchanges.
Hello Christine! The feedback video was fantastic - thank you for all of the practical insights. Although it wasn't mentioned, there is a distinctive self-accountability piece that's in play when we talk about how the behavior affected us, which opens the door for the other person to do the same. #vulnerability
I *highly* recommend Therese Houston's book Let's Talk. Her research accessible and methodology is very actionable. Giving feedback was one of my favorite things as a manager and I had a goal that when I gave difficult feedback or even let someone go, I wanted them to leave with a genuine smile. Granted, it didn't always go that way but there were times when it did. 🙂
This was really helpful for writing a positive performance review for one of my teammates! I don't enjoy writing, but the "Orient + Objective behavior + Subjective impact" framework helped shake the dust off the writing part of my brain.
Christine,
I love your work here. It is really useful. I really learned a lot from watching you in handing out all these tactics in the office. Especially you can present all these difficult topics so well.
I love your work. Keep them coming! I
I shall be your biggest fan from now on. Ha ha!
I believe "Giving Feedback" is an opportunity to know the other side of the both the individuals involved. Few critical success factors:
1) You must be truly open minded person. You must not carry your position, power and personality influence while being a part of "Feedback" conversation
2) While giving your feedback, be sure it directly and indirectly reflects how do you perceive situations, how do you deal with situation, how the situations impact you personally, how professional are you
3) Your articulation during the feedback. Its never about highlighting limitations, weakness and identifying behavioral issues RATHER it is more about how maturely you empathize with the overall situation and based on your experience articulate your communication with effective options available to deal with the situations.
4) Take feedback opportunities to build relationships / networking. Its never about winning 100 m races, rather its all about building trust to drive the economy of trusted relationships
i just had to give my teammates a criticism feedback as a team lead and wasn't sure if i did was the best that i could do after receiving hostile feedback. this helped me a lot. thank you.
Giving feedback is an amazing skill. Which can be game-changing in the development of a product or organisation cultures. #thanks amazing people.
Top 10 work fear is making someone (or myself) cry having to give feedback.
I was really into this, until she started talking about "my truth". This is a phrase I really hate. Something is either objective and true ("you spoke while I was speaking") or subjective ("you were really rude to me when you interrupted me"). It comes across to me that the person saying it is not open to reconsidering whether their version of events is as accurate as they initially thought if new information is presented.
Something that also came to mind (and this is no criticism at all to Christine, she did a great job) saying "my truth" really comes across as a phrase I associate with someone who is lacking confidence in what they're saying, so they protect themselves from criticism of what they're saying by adding the "my..." in front.
This is insightful. Thanks!
Going to be doing a company wide performance review for the first time with my own small business!
Great advice! Excellent talk.
Great video overall. When the guest gave the last point of the framework, she didn't give an example of an open ended question. Your example focused was giving positive feedback. This leaves me feel unsure of what kinds of open ended questions to use when giving negative feedback. I wasn to use this structure, but now I'm going to need to do more digging to find additional examples. Do you have any links to where your guest addresses this? Thanks! (I do like this framework, but even here I struggle with the open ended question!!!!)
I love these videos! How do we work with an insecure leader?
Thnks for this video
Are there laws protecting employees under PIP programs? Are there standard steps and prerequisites to be followed?
Very good video get a lot of knowledge here
Sometimes if I give positive feedback it is misinterpreted as (mere) flattery. Is this because I lack authority? How do you develop authority? By saying nothing?
Thanks
orient - objective behaviour - subjective response - open ended question
8:32 Feedback practice
Orient
Behavior
Impact
Feedback
Maybe don't give feedback? Unsolicited feedback is not a good idea! If you must, maybe try listening to them and how they feel about their own performance.
I think you have to create a culture where there's an open invitation to provide feedback. As humans, we have blind spots. If I'm only receiving feedback when I solicit it, I'm likely not uncovering those blind spots and missing opportunities to become more self-aware.