The Fifth Sorceress - RANT REVIEW
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- čas přidán 6. 07. 2020
- This is genuinly the worst fantasy book I have read. The Fifth Sorceress is maybe for some people, but I personally regret ever picking it up.
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It not good.
Edit: I legit cut out 7 additional minutes of criticism because it was just too much negativity. I didn't want to make people sit through over 20 minutes of nothing positive to say. There are others out there who have reviewed this and pointed out the many more insanities to this story. I honestly thought this was some kind of absurd parody at points. Turns out it is supposed to be taken 100% seriously. I just can't.
At least the shirt is fun
Agree.
Agreed. My guy that shirt is a BANGER
Can we have more colorful shirts like this?
Thank you for this review. But my main question is where was this prince parents doing?
This book gives me hope that I’ll be published some day.
Same.
This book is the first of six (two trilogies, all published by DelRey) set in the land of Esophagus or whatever the hell it was called.
Someone should challenge Daniel to read 'em all. I'd watch the reviews, if not exactly be in any rush to read the books.
Agreed.
KerstinMamma being published isn’t something to be proud of if you’re poorly reviewed.
Haha facts! Same!
Spoilers if anyone cares.
My favorite part is that the villain's plan is to kill everyone on the planet except the 5 sorceresses and Tristan, then repopulate the planet with their inbred magically gifted babies. That's not a joke, that's real.
what... that... NO! JUST NO!
I had to laugh, I just had to. It's too ridiculous.
Nice finding you here. Have you made a review of this? Or plan on doing it?
Don't forget the part where Tristan's sister gets pregnant so he cuts out the baby while she's passed out. ...I am NOT making that up.
You realize the species did in fact bottleneck at some point right? You exaggerate inbreeding
Me: I kinda feel bad for the author.he must feel terrible watching this review
Daniel: sexual assault is described as not legitimate because someone didnt climax ... the sister becomes evil and therefore bisexual
Me: nevermind
i’m not even a minute in what the hell is this book i’m scared
I still haven't gotten to that part of the video. Wtf
I wonder if he went for shock value, like the same way movie writers do. That is what it seemed to me, but instead of gore and violence it was social norms flipped on their head. I’m trying so hard to explain how it felt to read it. Sorry
@@justincarter5701 I think the author is just an incel tbh. That's the only way I can describe the content of the books
Yeah, that's why I've loved Daniel's videos for so long, all art is basically decent art and doesn't have to be strictly flawless to still have the right to exist, unless it is just straight up offensive. A story has to really get something fundamentally wrong about humanity to be "bad."
As bisexual woman, can confirm that we are all power-hungry monsters.
I knew it!
Well you know... people who don’t like monsters are just sad people. 🤷🏼♂️
Bi gang yo
I mean, you're definitely greedy! "Do you want men or women?" Bi-people: "Yes!"
Meanwhile, I can't even get an old paper bag to look at me and I'm definitely not projecting that anger onto other people! :P
@@fictionmyth mood
Daniel: He's a prince who doesn't want to do his duties.
Me: Okay that's reasonable teens and kids are usually rebellious-
Daniel: He's 30.
Me: 👁👄👁
I mean, not wanting to do something doesn't have to be teenage rebellion
To be fair that's not necessarily a bad set up for a character. Prince Orso from Joe Abercrombie's A Little Hatred could basically be summed up the same way and he's one of the most compelling characters in the whole First Law series.
It's all about execution!
I mean, I liked Jarl in prince of fools. Seems like this guy was going for that...
😂
Hamlet be like
Daniel: "Worse than the Cursed Child..."
Me: "Impressive."
Daniel: "And Wizard's First Rule."
Me: "Most impressive.
Lmao it's funny how people can meme your thoughts almost exactly 😂
My thoughts exactly.
i haven't seen wizards first rule why is it bad it has few positive reviews
waynicliz consensus is that it’s mainly bland uninspired average campy story. One might enjoy it. It’s readable. Outdated but readable. But the author is just unbelievable ass. And his ego is so big that he is a sole reason why earth is round.
😂😂😂😂
Flavorless sand? As opposed to flavoured sand?
Evil Villian: "Now Mr. Bond you will die in my ingenious sand trap!"
Bond: "Mmmm strawberry."
I don't know why this made me laugh so hard for some reason.
...
What did I just read??
*incoherent anakin screaming*
@@tome4376 I hate sand it's course and rough and tastes terrible
That's "Shtrawberry"
"Horses are not just big dogs"
Well obviously not, it's that dogs are just small horses, duh
I think that in Navajo or one of the other southwest tribes they use the same word for dog and horse, primarily because before the Spanish brought them over dogs were their primary beast of burden. But I read that when I was like 12, so take that with a heap of salt.
@@morganrobinson8042 that seems like the kind of thing that could be fake but makes enough sense that people report it as fact anyway.
I hate those. They make life confusing.
@@FlyingFocs Well check. Then you know
@@morganrobinson8042 can't confirm, but apparently the word for dog means "shit pet." So that's something
@@morganrobinson8042 That’s mentioned in the movie series Into the West, idk how reliable they are though.
i want "she's bisexual now oh no" to be turned into a meme
"Hey you. You're finally awake. And bisexual."
bisexuality is a bonus, never an "oh no.'" LOL
@@Nepthu very true
Cassaravi oh no Anyways
Trust me. Being bi is a meme. Got enough attention yet?
"Tristan invents throwing knives"
I sense a disturbance... Like so many rogues cried out in anger... and then were silenced
We literally thrived as a SPECIES in large part because we're so good AT THROWING THINGS!
Literally, we are REALLY good at just CLIMBING shit, then throwing things at animals that are bigger than us until they DIE, then we eat them. And primitive spears are just throwing knives with REALLY long handles. HOW!?
Sounds like north koria pevel of propaganda
@@haku8135 we're also persistent and walked/briskly jogged behind prey like mammoths until they died of exhaustion or weak enough to not fight the throwing of spears.
@@ayajade6683 that was the other part of the large part, yeah.
We're really good at throwing pointy death sticks, and we're stubborn as all fuck.
So kingdoms, laws, inheritance, recognizing magic blood... were all invented before someone thought of throwing a f ucking knife? Yeah, that makes sense, pretty sure I heard the internet was invented before steam power
You know what would be really groundbreaking? Killing people by throwing knives and having your horse bring the knives back
Hopefully the horse is named Boomerang. 😂🐴
You know what would be really groundbreaking? A shovel.
🥁🥁👏🏻
Its like the author saw a terrible writing advice episode and took it seriously
@@neon17.08 just don’t make us pay for it
@@fakeandgay9592
I-? No why would I? It shall be posted on Wattpad of all places, so it can blend in and never be read.
@@neon17.08 We're gonna need a link to your future masterpiece/disasterpiece when it's made.
"THE LOVE TRIANGLE!!"
@@berengustav7714 the only thing missing from this book most probably
I was actually deceived into reading this years ago by someone who convinced me that it was Fifth Element fanfiction. I no longer speak to that person.
How long until you figured it out?
Shoulda shot they ass
Daniel: “this is worst than Wizard’s First Rule”
Me: *Eyes widening* “whoa I’ve gotta watch this”
yeah i was like "woah worst book ever? you're kidding right? even more than wizar- holy shit what is this book??"
My thoughts exactly! Didn't think it could get worse lol.
My mind went to Darth Vader saying "Impressive. Most impressive."
It's literally worse. I've read it. Basically take the idea of WoT gender idea by making the aes sedai's the evil group instead of seeing insight of them being very flawed and arrogant group like in the books and making the male characters all the good guys.
I want him to read Xanth now...
So let me get this straight, this book is both:
A. Full of serious and dark topics such as violence and sexual assault.
And yet.....
B. Contains Gnomes.
These aren't mutually exclusive by any means, just not commonly encountered together.
Yeah, like the well known dark fantasy epic.
Fairly Oddparents.
Since I haven't read the book, in my head, it just makes sense that this book should be titled "Rapey Murder Gnomes"
Sounds like something R L Stine would write if Goosebumps were for adults
Also giant butterflies!
This review has inspired me to go ahead and write my own fantasy novel:
It's called Just Gnomes, and it's and multi-book fantasy epic... about gnomes, and how they're the only fantasy race that can do anything, but never get any respect.
It sounds interesting
I want this to be a thing now 🤣
That legit sounds awesome
Shit I’d read it.
That sounds really interesting and cool. Go ahead and write it; I'd read it!
Honestly the only thing that sounds good is the gnomes. Gnomes are underused.
Yeah. Gnomes are both fun and creepy man :D
We all need more Pike and Scanlan in our lives.
That's what I'm saying!
Ja, jag älskar gnomes
An unsurprising sentiment from a Scandinavian Flag bearer - did you grow up reading "The Secret Book of Gnomes"? Wonderful book.
Having watched 16 minutes of you talk about this book I'm still a little unsure where you stand, so you're saying this book is ok?
I know right? Why can't Daniel stop beating around the bush and just tell us what he thought of the book?
Gosh wont he stop stradling the fence!?
You guys are killing me. 😂
"Why Gnomes?"
Because they are G'not Gnelves, and G'not Gnoblins.
They are Gnomes and you've been gnomed!
Ahoy there, me ole' chum
Oh man, for some reason I'm so pleased I got gnomed 😂
W E L C O M E T O G N O M E S T A L I A G E N T L E G N O M E S
*HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I'VE MADE MY MISTAKES, I'VE GOT NOWHERE TO RUN! THE NIGHT GOES ON AND IT'S UN-FEELING!*
That really hit gnome for me
Gnomes kidnapping the "princess" worked in Gravity Falls.
This is what I had in my head when he said it! XD
Yes, because that's satire from every angle
I think it’s also worth noting that said princess was also the main character’s sister.
I have this repeating nightmare, that I write a book and Daniel makes a review about it like this one
Same
Well, that would mean the book is published. I could endure a roasting by Daniel if that was the price to pay.
I think he actually would roast me on some points. But we would still be able to talk about Sanderson and Lawrence around some tea, so that would be fine.
if you have any self awareness it won't go this bad
if you get an editor it really won't go this bad
Mine is more of a dream with a Stormlight like Review of my book
Just don’t write the only book more problematically sexist than The Wheel of Time, and you’ll be fine, I guess?
Daniel, I am really getting tired of your reviews where you sit on the fence. Can you please make it more clear whether you liked this book or not?!
I laughed at this more than I should have
Can somebody please ask smart questions?
tbone6924
It’s clear that he really doesn’t like it, what don’t you get dude???? 😂😂😂
@@anactaneustheeleventh2542 ist was sarkasam
@@anactaneustheeleventh2542 you didn't get the joke -ᄒᴥᄒ-
Don't despair, guys. If this guy can get published, then there's hope for *everyone.*
Just Some Immortal Magicians
Agreed!!!!
"Flavourless sand."
Sand is usually flavoured here in Britain. My favourite is curry-flavoured, although my parents prefer syrup-flavoured and my friends all like fish-and-chips flavoured sand.
@@BM-jy2gh I'll definitely try that.
You Brits really do have it better than we do. Can I please come back to the Motherland?
Up in Scotland we flavour it with whiskey then deep fry it.
Id love to see the outtakes of this one. Pure rage
A lot of me staring off just pondering how the hell this was written.
Daniel Greene nice shirt man.
Would make great Patreon content 😂
@@DanielGreeneReviews I'm amazed by the restraint you have shown.
Angry disheveled goblin 😁
On the kindle page description of this book, it says at the bottom: "Not since Terry Goodkind unsheathed the Sword of Truth has such a tale of heroism and magic so captured the imagination." HA!!!
not false advertising !
This is like Kit Harington answering the question of, what he thinks about the last season, with: "Disapointing... OR Epic, one of those..."
@@UkuleleProductions in the end, it was an epic disappointement...
@@UkuleleProductions First half Epic, 2nd half Epicly Disappointing.
“If he was going to inherit my kingdom, I would kill him.”
-reminds me of Crusader Kings
A man of culture, I see.
Let's be honest. We've all had a club footed kid and gone, NAH.
Otherwise known as pulling a West
From Amazon: "Not since Terry Goodkind unsheathed the Sword of Truth has there been such an epic tale of heroism and magic that so captures the imagination as this monumental new work by a master storyteller"
Think that tells me all I need to know there...
I'm watching Daniel having a breakdown on CZcams due to how bad the book is...and I'm perfectly fine with that
Same I like him ranting
I just started watching his videos a few weeks ago and this is glorious...😂😂
I was several minutes into this video before I realized that I have actually read this book. It was so bad I must have blocked it from my memory, but you have unleashed that sealed knowledge and now I have to think about it again, so thanks for that.
Do we need to start a gofundme for Daniel's legal defense, or are you not going to sue for emotional trauma? :P
Yeah. I read this back when it came out. I can still remember none of it even after watching this. I just remember my reactions, thinking it was one of the worst books if ever read and having zero interest in reading anything more by the author. I remember being surprised it was published.
I was shocked to see that he read it. It's an older book and I can't believe anyone recommended it to him.
@@nickd5158 Older book? Yeah, I fucking bet! The son of a bitch who wrote the book would get fucking annihilated via tactical nuke if he published it within the last few years.
I read an interview with the author, where he said that he got the inspiration to write it from reading "Wizard's First Rule" and thought "This explains *so* much."
According to a sporking I read, the reason they didn't execute the sorceresses is because they were so weak it would be tantamount to murder to kill them. Murder is defined by how weak the victim is, apparently.
8:10 as a bisexual woman I can confirm that I am in fact an evil sorceress. I cackle whenever I enter a room and I place hexes on sexist protagonists.
Honestly cackling when entering a room seems pretty funny, im gonna start doing that now :
@@s3b714 it’s especially fun to do at family gatherings. Try it sometime.
@@gabbyabbott4965 will let you know how long it took to get myself disinherited :D
Daniel: "The main character plays fetch with a horse."
Friend: "(Math lady meme)"
Her name is Nazaré. For future references.
@@jonesy2305 Cool! I didn't know her name. According to Google she goes by Math Lady. 😋
@@DawnRego She is a very popular villain from a old novela here in Brazil, this meme turn her global. It was awesome.
@@jonesy2305 today I learned! I legit thought it was Vera Farmiga this whole time lol
I was going to try this just for fun. So the closest I got was holding the stick about to toss it. He walked up, took the stick from me, bit it in half, and then dropped it on the ground.
If only you spent more time watching Brandon’s writing classes. He talks about the big wave of fantasy that flopped after the 90’s, and he used The Fifth Sorceress as an example of how bad 😂
Oh man I wanna see Brandon tear that book apart!
Which episode?
I watched them and can't remember
Which lecture was that?
Mandy H He only mentioned it briefly, but I would love that too!
Tristan: "But it's a lucky thing I had my pieces."
Random bystander: "Your pieces?"
Tristan: "My knives! Anyway, I started throwing. Thwap! Thwap!"
Random bystander: "Genius."
Tristan Devito
Interesting fact: Tolkien's Elves were initially calles Gnomes, but he later changed the name due to the association with garden gnomes. Probably nothing to do with this hair-raising horror of a story, but an interesting fact nonetheless.
Rebel bro doubt that
@@brandonviger2245 It's cannon. Elves are called Gnomes in the original version on Beren and Luthien, for example. (Which Christopher Tolkien published in its earliest form, before Tolkien renamed the race)
@@brandonviger2245 It's because gnome in Greek means knowledge
LET’S BRING BACK GNOMES
I'll never read lotr the same way ever again
"Lusty Blonde Booktuber Discovers Goodkind's Spiritual Bastard Book Child- And He's NOT Happy"
I know you bleeped out your phone call to avoid giving away identifying information but on first watch it looked like you thanked your horse-raising friend and then cussed them out.
I nearly spit up my drink
"Alright, thanks you bitch, i hope you're doing well...... Oh god, this book is corrupting me. Wait, I'M the fifth sorceress!!"
"The princess getting gnomed" is the best possible clickbait for this book
The author is a used car salesman. I've met plenty of honest used car salesmen, but I found it rather ironic that the guy who hoodwinked the publishing industry turned out to be a used car salesman.
It makes perfect sense actually
Fun Fact: In the earlier days of the creation of Tolkien’s Legendarium, elves were referred to as gnomes (the Ñoldor elves, to be specific). Just imagine the world we would live in if he hadn’t made this change...
Oh yeah, I think is was specifically in reference to the Noldori iirc
Not all elves, only the Noldor.
True enough, I was lazy and didn’t want to specify that. Edited for accuracy
I think Tolkien was indulging in some of his linguistic games here. Paracelsus may have coined the word based (according to someone's Wikipedia article) on Latin genomos, 'earth-dweller'; but Greek γνώμη, gnome, comes from a verb meaning 'to know', and is a maxim or saying. It is notable that L. Frank Baum, in one of his Oz books, makes a similar connection, saying that his respelled name for the race, 'Nome', comes from a word meaning 'one who knows', and says that this is because his Nomes know all the hidden places in the earth where metals and gems can be found.
Of course, a gnome man is an island unto himself.
He also had a hero called Tingfang Warble.
His wife had recently read a Terry Goodkind book while on vacation, and she suggested that Rob read it. Having never been a reader of fantasy, he was somewhat reluctant, but started reading. He was immediately hooked. His wife then dared him to take a crack at a lifelong dream of his: writing a novel. So he took the plunge, sat down at his laptop computer and started writing a fantasy novel which was to become The Fifth Sorceress (Del Rey).
This explains everything.
Goodkind. Of course it's Goodkind.
The Editor: “We purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.”
I feel like this book is about to boost up in sales just because people will want to know firsthand how awful it is 🤣🤣🤣
I was literally thinking of reading it just for the sake of having read something so bad. I mean I’ve read “not good” books but I’ve never really read anything that is truly absolutely terribly awful. Wonder how it feels 🤔
Yup, this is literally the best advertisement 😂
Yeah that's definitely gonna happen
@@kvothebloodless8186 Well, if you want to read bad stories, there are always webnovels freely available without pirating and that will not have you support an author write bad books...
I have to read it now.
I feel guilty for how much I like angry Daniel.
Don't. He's a funny guy. But angry Daniel is *waaay* funnier.
4:00 "I'm ok with exposition dumps. I'm a Robert Jordan fan" that made me laugh out loud.
Yes... I did come straight here to rewatch this video after watching your "worst of 2020".... don't judge me I need the ranting hahaha
Same xD
Same lol
This boat might fill up quick... cause that's why I'm here as well lol
The boat is filling up and now we're sinking
@@roguerazac7071 I brought a paddle. We fine.
I can't lie, seeing a book get such a bad review makes me want to read it out of sheer curiosity
Don't do it man... STEP AWAY FROM THE LEDGE!! Seriously, don't. I read this years ago, when it first came out, and I still regret it to this day.
RELEASE THE ANGRY VERSION OF THIS VIDEO! .....For the fans
YESSS! PLZ WE NEED IT!!!!
Right I wanna see him lose his mind even more
That would be a nice Patreon perk
The Spicer cut?
"But Why Gnomes?" needs to be a T-shirt.
Years ago I met the agent who got this book published, and he explained how excited he was to find another epic fantasy that he knew would sell. Fantasy is rife with aspiring authors who NEVER finish a novel and he was tired of hearing from aspiring writers with incomplete works. I tried reading this book but never finished it. It made me realize that writing doesn't have to be good; it only has to sell. Literally the agent wanted a business transaction, and that's what he got. It opened my eyes to how publishing works.
It isn't only publishing, it is essentially everything in the economy
Things just gotta make money, doesn't matter how good they are
You are not a jerk, I would rather go to a live reading by Terry Goodkind than turn another page of that novel.
Unironic reading of Terry Goodkind would be hilarious ngl
this didnt age well
@@bomtradym4027 wot?
@@reidwallace4258 hes dead
@@bomtradym4027 I'd still rather have the corpse of that hack read to me than read that book, point still stands.
Hearing reviews like this give me hope that my book about gun fighting Teiflings and Lichs isn't such a bad idea after all. At least that's never been done before
Given that you’re writing a book about them, you may know this already and have intentionally changed the words’ spelling, but in case you don’t:
It’s Tieflings and Liches.
Please publish this book. Spell Tiefling and Liches however you want. But I want this book.
@@ShawnWilliams314 Glad someone is interested. Still working on the first draft
That legit sounds awesome
seems interesting already!
Info dump? Check.
Story? ...
Sexism, either way? Check.
Bland delivery? Check.
Story? ...
Plot? ...
Exposition? Check.
World building? Um...
Plot? ...
Actual purpose of book? ... Sexist rant?
Story? ...
Not going to waste my time or money.
I want MORE rant reviews by Daniel. He’s too good at talking about bad stuff!
Sword of truth : Ah yes a worthy opponent our battle will be legendary
Couldn't even make it through the free sample on kindle. Forget the author for a second, how did a literary agent read this and say "Yep, I'll represent this" and then a publisher say "Yep, good to go. Let's do this." Boggles the mind with how many other far more talented authors linger in the slush piles for years and this drek gets released.
It sucks for all the decent authors left in the editor's tray.
I think publishers go by which books have worked in the past and pitch it as "This book is a combination for these 2".
Maybe they saw it being as successful as Goodkind?
That's why self-publishing might be a good idea sometime, and let fans decide if they want to buy it!
"If a woman likes sex shes just the worst"
Daniel Greene - 2020
Welcome to 80% of published books. You ask how this got published. Well, this is the norm. As you get better at writing and story structure and prose construction, you'll start seeing this more and more. As you stray from the most famous and universally praised, you'll see this more and more. I won't go as far as Theodore Sturgeon and say 90% of everything is crap, but I will commit to a full 80% in honor of the 80/20 rule.
There's a "meme" going around our National University of Language and Literature "Come study here if you want to lose all enjoyment out of reading and learn to hate your favourite books" (Roughly translated)
Sturgeons Law seems pretty accurate for the literary world, yeah.
Please help this poor boy.
give.rachasheilev-fund.org/campaign/5f0abfa389ed42000177035e
If you donate some money, you will help him. Please spread this elsewhere.
Me watching the opening moments of this video: Daniel are you ok? I am sensing vast existential dread and utter despair.
*puts popcorn in microwave while listening intently*
Daniel are you ok? Daniel are you ok? Are you ok Daniel?
His publisher actually dropped him two years ago, and he hasn't found once since!
Thank God!
I watched this entire video, and the thing I'm honestly most concerned about is the possibility that you might like raisins in your oatmeal. Help is available.
Honestly, imagining a horse play fetch is pretty freaking hilarious
Beginning of video: Ok, I get it. Tristan is the fifth sorceress, but was raised as a man to make it harder for the villains to find her.
End of video: Oh, the twist is there is no twist.
I took approximately two seconds to go, “The Fifth Sorceress is the hero’s sister.”
I am so sorry you had to read that ... but this was extremely entertaining so I'm not 100% sorry.
Sorry.
I am of the same mind! I even rewatch it with my daughter who doesn't understand English yet, and just the tone of voice and Daniel's faces made her smile while I was laughing! And funnily enough, that book reminded us of a self published book she had had to read several years ago...
@@roxelaneelmira4678 He took one for the team, and I'm grateful. Cracking up with laughter, but grateful. :)
I sometimes feel bad about my writing but then I hear stuff like this and it gives me hope I could finish and release something that isn't crap like this.
“Why do lazy authors constantly use sexual assault”
Well, I guess assault only requires one party to drive the story forward :^)
Good lord
How bad is it that i was looking forward to a negative review? 😂
You're not alone sis 😂
“If you are not first and foremost a sister, wife, mother, or daughter, you’re a bad person.” - Daniel Greene 2020
Oof take it out of context...
You have wonderful timing. Yesterday, I added several books to the donate pile including a few that I've yet to read. The Fifth Sorceress is one of those unread books I decided to donate. Thanks to your timely review, I now feel justified in that decision. Thank you.
So, you are making another person, who is unaware how bad it is, read it? How diabolical!
As a bisexual woman, I would like to confirm that corrupting the innocent is practically a first-date cliche.
Also you have beautiful eyes holy shit.
His chest my eyes
Don’t listen to her, Daniel! She wants to corrupt you!
Boy I've been waiting for this after those Insta rants
Daniel: “If he was gonna inherit the kingdom I worked for ..”
Me: “Then I would leave him.”
Daniel: “I would kill him.”
Me: “Oh! 😮 That bad huh. 😅😄.”
Some friends of mine and I did a group reading of one of the later books in the series, Scrolls of the Ancients, without any prior context and I can assure you that the author learned absolutely nothing between the first book and that one. I don't even have to read The Fifth Sorceress to understand exactly how it went because that's exactly what Scrolls was too. It's so bad. I gotta know, was the author as obsessed with using the word "azure" to describe magic in this one? Because my god we were sick of that word by the time we finished. We had to call it off as part of the drinking game lest we get alcohol poisoning.
Idk if you've seen, Daniel, but your review here is mentioned on The Fifth Sorceress's wikipedia page. That's gotta be an achievement for how bad this book is
Um, the head down and red in the back should be enough of a review. Also, can you call more of your friends during your videos?
Yes, that part was AMAZING!! 🤣🤣🤣
Jordan Newman I agree! 😂
Yes that would be awesome
Even our boy Rand had only one "most beautiful woman I've ever seen", and she wasn't even one of the 3 he was in love with! Haha
Jordan is the last guy to credit with writing great romances. I love WoT but the ones in the series are a joke.
@@licenciado1970 I do like Lan and Nynaeve though.
@@ladyreverie7027 Isn't it the worst one 😭
@@cernunnos8344 Waaaay better than Egwene and Gawain
I really really want the uncut unedited version of this rant
3:31 *"oops. I made it weird"*
That made me laugh way too much🤣
Daniel: roasts the fifth sorceress
Terry Goodkind: am I okay to you?
Didn't anyone warn you? The gnomes warned me!
As a newbie indie author, it blows my mind to come across books like this that get picked up and traditionally published. It's a bit more common than people realize too, I think.
For the record, you're supposed to pronounce the 'c' in "adjectives."
I'd never even heard of this book. While I do enjoy watching a good, angry rant every now and then (and this was certainly a good rant), I must admit that the main draw of this video was seeing that flower print shirt in the thumb nail. Bonus points for the rainbow watchband.
Same I was like that's a new shirt
yeah, the rant was great, but that shirt occupied like half my attention
facts, the shirt was definitely a 10/10
“Stakes are still a thing, we promise!”
I burst out laughing
I always say that Wizards first rule convinced me to start writing because it showed me you don’t have to write a novel well to be published. Looks like this novel proves that once again.
It looks like Robert published multiple books after this, so I hope he improved as an author (and possibly as a human being based on the apparent bigotry). I wish nothing bad for others, but I have to say that, as a newbie writer, it gives me a boost that this trash got published. I know it was a long time ago, but I'm writing better than this guy, so I have a chance =) Thanks for the content Daniel!
Nothing like a giant book rant with my morning coffee to start my day
Literally sipping coffee right now 😂Love it
Right this is how I like my mornings
Yesss if I can start my day with coffee and laughter it’s gonna be a great one
I always start my day with a cup of coffee and Daniel's newest video :D
Next time I write, Daniels voice is going to be in the back of my head saying "PUT A LITTLE LEMON ZEST!"
I almost thought you called him 'Robert Nukem'.
😂
So is there an unedited version of this where we get to hear how you really feel? I really want to hear this.
8:47 try reading some Reki Kawahara. He puts that in his GOOD GUYS. His main character, Kirito, is such an unlikable, over powered brat, but somehow Kawahara is incapable of writing a female “character” (in heavy air quotes) that does not want to f*ck Kirito. I know this kind of out pf place but it’s SAO books are so bad.
SAO made me so angry. It started out with a great premise, first couple episodes were pretty solid. Somewhere around the point where he has a virtual daughter I was questioning the many choices that had brought me to that point in my life.
I watched the first half of S1 and thought it was okay; the female deuteragonist actually seemed like she had agency and had the potential to be a well fleshed-out character. And then S1 part 2 came around and she was reduced to the damsel in distress and subject to sexual assault to prove how dastardly the villain was. And there was also the part about how Kirito's cousin had the hots for him... just, like, ew. No. THEY'RE TEENAGERS. Kirito is just the personification of a young male's fantasy: The Best (tm) at everything, and all the girls want to jump his bones.
Okay but chapter 16.5 is the funniest piece of media created by mankind.
I wouldn't say he's outright unlikable. Kirito is just such a bland Mary Sue that there's not even much time actively dislike. I dislike him more because the show has such potential at first, and just jumped ship so quickly that it's not even funny
SAO might be the only story I actively want to REWRITE rather than erase from existence. It has so many premises that appeal to me, yet almost all of them are executed horribly.
I honestly think it starts strong, a story about a boy who prioritized gaming over social skills who now has to overcome that weakness because the virtual world is far too dangerous to tackle alone. The "main love interest" Asuna started out as a decent reflection of the protagonist Kirito; we first see her as another solo player but soon she joins a guild and is in a much better position because she learned to engage with other people. I even love the idea of Suguha as a tragic figure or actual romantic rival to create a tension between the experiences of the real world vs the virtual world.
But nope, Reki Kawahara had to go and make it a self-insert power fantasy with a massive harem...
Worse than Wizard's First Rule?
That's an achievement right there.
It’s gets a lot worse than Terry Badkind in both how bad the book and how bad of a person the author is. James Tullos and Krimson Rouge routinely make long form terrible book rants about books like that.
Achievement unlocked!
Wizard's First Rule is so bad Terry has sold 28 million writing dreck. That is 28 million more than all the wannabe writers in here, including our disheveled goblin aspiring writer host. If that is dreck, I'll happily write it and sell 28 million. I would guess Goodkind knows more about writing and selling good books than anyone in here, being that he has done it. A lot of wannabe writers and experts in here.
@@licenciado1970 And only one highly offended fan boy. It must be easy to go for the insult instead of actually arguing why they are wrong.
Marcus Nilsson it’s not my job to convince. Fantasy beliefs are like political beliefs. Once people are convinced of something you can’t change their minds. Goodkind actually writes about this in his Sword of Truth books. Smart guy, that Terry. I don’t even agree with everything he has said or feels. However, I can point out how full of s-t some people are. All the authors we know and love have viewpoints that would cause us to hate them. There are a lot of people in here who would disown their favorite author if they found out he/she was a Trump supporter, or a raging liberal, or anti-LGBT because they are super-religious, etc. Terry at least owns what he says. I can respect that. Better than buying the hypocrisy that all of our beloved authors are not people and that Goodkind is the only one who has said something or believes something someone would not agree with. Many who criticize him have not even read the books, they just follow the social media herd. Others who have read them have already been biased against them because of the same herd. It’s everyone’s prerogative to not enjoy a good book.
I love how you actually call your knowledgeable horse friend on camera 😂😂😂😂😂 her awkward silence killed me then when you asked about the stick I actually had to pause and walk away for a second
At first I was like “aw, poor author :( I bet he’s sad that everyone hates his book. I bet he’s just a new author still learning the craft.” And then after Daniel talked about sexism, homophobia, and gross rape stuff I was like “nvm🙂”
I’m pretty sure this is the book I quit reading after the word “longish” was used thrice in a page and a half.
I read "longish" exactly once in a rather large book halfway through and it took me a while to get over it. It was even a good use of the damn word
Just the idea of this made me laugh loudly... Like I'm an amateur but who does that ???
This book was recommended by Barnes & Nobles Discover Great New Authors program. 👎
That's a shortish interval to use-ish it.
the shirt was to lighten the mood, daniel? love it
"Why gnomes?"
At a guess because the author once saw a lawn-gnome and mistook it for one of these nasty buggers from ACTUAL folklore: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redcap
Your channel is fantastic. Love the vids. I've been inspired to read so many different fantasy and sci fi tales. Found your channel after reading Wheel of Time. Would never have found Mistborn and The Stormlight Archive elsewise! Now I can't wait to check out the Dresden Files. Keep on doing your thing man, you are great at it.