Your Healing Journey is YOURS!
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
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We are all on a healing journey of our own. Don't let anyone tell you how it's supposed to look or how you're supposed to do it or how long it's supposed to take. THAT IS UP TO YOU.
Healing is HARD! Your pain and your trauma is real and valid… without anyone else saying so… without having to compare it to anyone else’s as “less than” or “more than”… you are brave and beautiful ❤
Your words help me! Thank you!
Oh my dear Angie. I just want to give you a huge hug. So precious and gifted. Your vulnerability is sacred and evidence of how you are walking in the light. The light of Jesus shines through you.
🤗🫂🥰
I find your authenticity so beautiful. I see you as my guide through this healing process. I am forever grateful to you, Angie. ❤
This made me cry so much. I was walking along in dark outside sobbing. Nearly every day I tell myself that you got better from the dizziness and all hope is not lost.
I sure did. I never thought I would! You will.
@@AngiePeacockMSW 🙏❤️
I had such severe dizziness everyday for a year and felt so hopeless but it got better! I hope that comes across as positive and not obnoxious and I hope you are feeling better. This journey is so hard. I find that community eases my soul more than anything. I'm sending you so much peace and love.
@@kendallbaum7908 thank you so much, that means the world. Was it an up and down recovery or did it just resolve for you at a certain time?
@@stevie9y9y Hello, sorry that it takes me so long to reply. I am still new to posting on CZcams and forget to check that I have messages. My recovery from dizziness was up and down though there were months where there was absolutely no relief and then all of a sudden I started having windows of relief! Then it started to lesson in intensity. I know we are all so unique but I did recover. How are you doing at the moment? I'm seeing you lots of healing energy! This is so hard and you are a warrior for making it through this!
You are amazing Angie! Thank you for all you do for our community. You truly offer something different than what’s out there. Thank you for keeping it real.
I love that quote. I’m waiting every day for that bench in the sun. Thanks for being here with me on my journey back there Angie. So proud of you and grateful to you ❤
Well now you have me crying........with you.....thank you so much.
Beautiful, Angie. What a sacred journey this is. To find meaning in all of the suffering and then share that hope with others on their own journey is what it’s all about.
Bless you sweet Angel, glad I met you, you are an inspiration to me and many more, it’s hell, but you held on, I’m holding on, hope to recover soon, from these awful meds. ❤ I know it says Kerri my wife, but this is Julie.
Angie, you are so beautiful and so strong. We all love and admire you so much. Thanks for all you are doing for the community.
Thank you so much, Angie, for making this video. I am new to this community and I am so moved by your authenticity, courage and determination and by this beautiful community. I read all of the comments. Everyone here is a total rockstar. There's so much love and kindness here. I've gotten off most of the psychiatric drugs that I was on for most of my life but am still tapering the last one. Going cold turkey off Valium last year was excruciating but I think the hardest part has been accepting that my healing is going to take far longer than I could have ever anticipated. I really thought that after a year, I would be myself again. Now I am not sure who that self actually is as I started medication as a teenager. I am so grateful to have found your channel and your community. I wasn't sure if I could find the strength to make it through another day but I do thanks to you and everyone here💗
❤Kendal!! Welcome to the world without mind numbing drugs! You get to choose who you are now! I am really enjoying that part! But the injury SUCKS!!! Hang in there!
Beautiful words! I’m not yet off, also started young... keeping my fingers crossed for us both! ♥️🌹🤞🏼
@@Nick-gq2iy I started at 17. After only 2 months on multiple trials of cocktails of polypharmaceuticals I was given ECT. 41 years later and I’m finally 18 months off all pharmaceuticals.
If I am doing it so can you!! Well wishes!!!
@@Blu6556 I am new to posting on the internet so I just now realized that you left me a lovely message. Thank you so much for taking the time to welcome me. I have had to reinstate some Valium bc the withdrawal is so hard but I am appreciative of the strong people who have walked this road ahead of me and given me hope. I am so happy to read that you get to be you, the real you! I hope you are through withdrawal or at least through the worst of it. Sending you lots of peace and love!
@@Nick-gq2iy Hello! Thank you for replying to my post. I'm sorry that I am just replying to yours but I am new to posting online. I'm super old school but trying to get savvy! I had to reinstate some medication because the withdrawal was too much. I am trying not to feel discourage because my motivation to be off meds is still there. A friend in my taper community reminded me to be gentle with myself. That's so hard! Do you find that to be difficult too? I hope you are healthy and well and I wish you so much peace. Thanks again for sending a reply to my post.
Angie, I absolutely love you. I was talking out loud to my screen telling you how much I support and honor you. I’m 13 months of rapid tapers of multiple psych drugs and a CT from a benzo. Almost 25 years on over 16 meds.
You are one of the only people who comforts me. When I can talk and get my thoughts together more I’m going to contact you.
Thanks for being who you are. So glad you are alive and well and made it through this hell.
Namaste. ❤❤❤
I’m smiling and actually feel happy right now. I see you sister.
🙏🤗
Thank you so much Angie 💖 you are one of 3 I watch on YT about this, Thank you for helping me keep the Hope & Courage. Sending you much Hope & Strength, from Australia 🫶🇦🇺🐬
As always…you are so incredibly vulnerable and real…I look forward to reading your book…and thanks for making me cry…sending love as you stitch your story together and help me to do the same….🙏💜🙏
I needed to hear this 6 months off and in the middle of the messy healing. People giving advice is what i live through constantly, if they only knew! We spare them the ugly messy truths! I'm so proud of you Angie and all of us on this hero's journey! This share was spot on!❤
I always love to hear your CZcams videos, Angie. You speak from your heart and you have the innate ability to put your emotions out into the world for all to see. I see you as the beautiful human being that you are! You've been a true inspiration to me during my healing journey! Thank you for your willingness to expose your vulnerability to us. I think you're very brave.
God you have such a special spirit Angie. I’m so glad you survived.
Just barely. 💜
Yes, you’ve done some very hard shit. Agree. We all have that are getting off these psych drugs.
Thank you for sharing your truth and vunrability. You are so strong and honest. I sure wanted to reach through the screen and give you a hug. I hope writing this book will be therapeutic for you and a inspiration for many. Please pace yourself we don't want you burning out. ❤
“You hold a set of keys, inside of you. And they will unlock, different doors of your heart. And with the turning of each one, you will experience growth, and change. You will move along further, from where you currently are. But don’t try to rush this process, Little One. I promise, that you will be free. But you have to slow down, and pay close attention; because freedom cannot come, if you miss, a single key.”
-Little girl speak
I am proud of you as you go through and turn every single key
This is BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for sharing it. Let us all run out of keys to turn quickly, ha!
We didn’t want to be here, but here we are.
Maybe the reason for our struggle was to be an example for so many others and help those who are going through this and will in the future ❤️
I love your perspective!
It is so inspiring and beautiful. Thank you :)
This touched me and I wanna say God Bless you. I was taken off 5 meds this last month. Im falling apart and Everyday has been a nightmare. Thank you for all your videos, they give me hope. Really cool your in Colorado, I live in Colorado Springs. Prayers your way!!!
I'm pulling for you the whole way! Thank you for sharing your writing journey with us.
Thank you Angie. Very moving, beyond words. 😊
Awe, I love you girl! So many good tidbits within this. ❤️
Thank you Angie. I can't wait to read you book.
Love this video, you are so honest and brave. As you said, let time pass, it's the only cure, but at 9 months off, it seems that I am getting worse day by day. It's frustrating and takes away hope, which is the only strength to pull through a single day. I didn't have mental confusion, weird thoughts, intense dpdr and other horrible mental symptoms in earlier months, but now they are so severe.
At 9 months I felt horrible too. I didn’t believe in healing at all. We do recover! Stay the course!
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks for giving me hope.🙏
Thank you so much for sharing with us ❤
That was so powerful. Hope I can get through this and do what you’ve done.
Angie, this is so beautiful. I just cried with you and it felt so freeing to do that! Thank you for all that you give to this community. Sending you so much love today, dear one. ❤
This is like a journal for you. I have felt self therapy come from journaling. You are so strong. I cannot wait to read your book. Maybe I can meet up and get it signed. And hug you! We all need those hugs. You’re doing great. And I am sure it’s just flowing out of you! Thinking of you and praying for you.
Crying with you darling beautiful Angie. ❤
You are so amazing. Blessings to you and thank you for being YOU!❤
7 months off Xan 2 years off Prozac so hard with what we go through. Warrior Queen hero Angie ❤
I'm just trying to figure out how to run naked in the woods but I think my boobs would be too distracting 😁 You have conquered medical torture!!!! If I ever met you I'd be a little star struck. 🤩 You are definitely one of the voices I go to for relief in ABIND hell. I can't wait for your book. Peace, light, and much love🤍🤍🤍
Video forthcoming of me running naked in the woods. Blurred of course 🤣🤣
@@AngiePeacockMSW yes! Then I can practice until I get to the other side of WD. I've been trying to get my husband to say yes to van life for a year once I'm healed. This might just do the trick.😁
I write as well Angie, and have to take breaks because as I write, I'm revisiting times that created traumas which haven't yet healed. But I do think that writing (and crying - that often comes with writing) is more than cathartic: it helps me to look back with wiser eyes and understand what happened to to me and work out the part I unwittingly played in certain events. Yes, the healing journey is not for the feint hearted. You go girl ❤
Angie, I’m so proud to call you my fellow human traveller!! You’re beautiful!! Excellent video. So inspiring to me!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
Angie you're so strong, very inspiring
Thank you, Angie.
You go, Angie!! Power on!! ❤️
Angie, Thank You for this message tonight. You are an amazing, kind soul who I admire for what you went through. You are so real and your honesty is refreshing and needed in this community. What you had to say resonated with me so much that I feel the need to say what I'm dealing with right now because it's similar in a way.
I'm in month 19. I took Klonopin for 20+ yrs and I did not do well on it but didn't realize it. I was like you and put on many other meds and got really messed up. I've been on disability for 23 yrs after a car accident. Anyway, Feb 2022 I was forced on a 6 mth taper. I rent a duplex and at that exact time I got a new neighbor. I would call her a malignant narcissist. She's single with 2 young children. They had just put vinyl flooring in on her side. From day one, all the children did was run and jump and yell and scream. It was utter hell. What parent could stand all that noise anyway. Nothing made sense.
2 mths later I finally had the nerve to ask her politely to stop all the running. She got angry at me and said she heard me walking, I have carpet. She also told me she was going to call the police on me for shoveling one morning early. I apologized, she did not and I left completely confused. She did not stop the noise and when I complained to the landlord she gave me a week of escalated noise. That was at the same time I jumped. I was losing my mind. Only a benzo sufferer could understand the hell I was in.
I finally wrote a letter to her and copied the landlords. I was told I had to work it out with her or I could move. I couldn't do a damn thing. I was barely surviving at that point. My punishment for that was first being screamed at outside in front of neighbors being called a junkie because I stupidly told her what I was going through, she's a nurse. Then she called the police and cried harassment and she lied and told them I threatened to kill her and her kids. I was beside myself. Who does a thing like that? 10 days later she baited me in our shared entrance and when I wouldn't engage there was another police call and again she said I threatened to kill them and this time added that I said I'd slit their throats. WTH?
I have had no help from my landlords and I dont know what the police think. The abuse is still continuing. I don't know how or why I'm still here. I have PTSD now. I'm a mess. I found a therapist who isn't helping. I realized that I am alone and I'm the only one who can help myself. No one is coming to save me.
I've been living here for almost 2 decades. I have a full basement and have so much to go through. I get housing assistance and I was so disappointed looking at moving that I gave up. I decided to write another letter to the landlords and copy the police because of the horrendous lies said about me. I feel the need to defend myself.
I'm just early in my writing and like you it's gut wrenching to relive all this while I'm still not feeling well. I'm so completely traumatized from all this. I'm not ready to do this now but I have no choice. I'm also thinking I need to get a restraining order because of her stalking me. Yes, there's that, too. I'm terrified of her. As I'm writing this I realize how completely crazy this sounds. I guess I needed to talk to someone who can understand anything about how I feel.
I couldn't harass anyone if I tried. Plus, that's not me. It's just so hard to realize that I was so sick that I couldn't even defend myself. That's a hard one to swallow. I'm praying that a more detailed letter and maybe a restraining order will get her away from me. That seems easier than moving. To make matters even stranger, she's a millionaire. She sued someone.
I'm sorry this is so long to anyone who actually read this. I really needed to say this out loud. Thanks.
Good luck on your book Angie, you got this. Thanks again for tonights message. I don't feel so all alone right now. ❤
Pam ❤ Wow! You’ve been through so much and still are! What an awful person. It’s hard to imagine behaving in such a way!! Hang in there!
@@Blu6556 Thank you! 🩷
❤️ “You Can’t Rush Your Healing” by Trevor Hall. Love you. And Thank You 🙏
Oh Dear One… you are truly beautiful. I felt this deep in my bones. I love you Sister of the Soul. ❤Thank you for your precious vulnerability and great courage.
Angie, you have so much to be proud of! Really...having been on a benzo more than 30 years now with no affordable housing, I don’t know how I will ever get off the system & I have to keep holding my B dose, which is half what it was due to no stable housing. So...since my situation seems doomed, it’s GREAT learning that you are continuing to progress, especially with trauma coming up & out, healing you from this past trauma! You’re an AMAZING & REMARKABLE SOUL! I do so admire your INCREDIBLE PERSEVERANCE! ♥️🌹🌿🙌🏼 - Cynthia
First short testinomy I wrote (a page) on being put on restrains, and the blood in my pillow, I was almost blind of rage, I was so angry.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. My words are not enough.
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks. don't worry. I'm fine. I was so naïf. we live in a violent world. it happened ten years ago.
Writing is so healing. I wrote an essay about my abuse and published it in a feminist book. It’s helped so many people.
Bless you, thank you
I have no family left & almost no community, so I do get how hard that is...plus I lost my car during memory flips 5 yrs ago & know how isolating that can be! Maybe we need understanding & loving community who will let us be, grow, experience & love us as we are. If we can find it! Much love to you & great respect for you! Also crying with you. THANK YOU! 🙏🏼💎♥️🙌🏼 - Cynthia
God work Angie 💜
YES
So much wisdom and bravery. Thank you for everything you do. Your honesty is inspiring.
So proud of you. You're such a beautiful soul. God bless you and your kindness and your powerful journey ❤
Good luck with book. Structure is tough after being compromised for so long. "On a bench in the sun." And knowing you're ok. Wow.
You did do really hard shit. You are a warrior ❤️ 💙! You inspire us all! Im also trying to stay off my phone and thats hard. Keep feeling all the feelings and the book will help you process those feelings even more. Im 10 months off concerta adhd meds. Im starting to think about a job I might want to do. Sitting at home is hard too. Choose your hard. I read that quote to a withdrawal support group once. I took seeing it again as a sign from God to keep going. I am praying for you and that everything will be in the book that you want.
I really need to write my stuff by myself (but of course many things people (said or wrote) that I like help me to understand better what happened to me) I wrote 19 pages for two years (trying to write a short testimony on a 11 days or 13 stay in a psy ward, what I saw, how they tortured me) I was trying to be accurate and use the right language. It help me so much to put things in order. I rewrote many times for 2 years those pages. I learn a lot.
I felt this so much. 😥 I can't take a compliment, either. They actually make me feel so bad and I really don't understand why. I want so badly to feel something good and finally be out of survival mode.
I'm glad you're at least making it to the other side of this. I hope it helps you feel the peace you deserve.
It's another layer of healing to release painful joy until it doesn't hurt anymore. You're letting triumph coexist. 🎉❤
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amen sister Angie
One thing that should not be overlooked is the importance for a support person , do not try to hurry the process. To hurry the process is to put expectations on that person. Expectations may be the very reason they are suffering in the first place. Telling someone they should get therapy is really just a form of gaslighting. The message that that sends is that they are the problem......space and patiences and of course love,. not easy to do but if you are supporting a loved one or friend your life will be greatly enriched..
Just Thank you! ❤ I am crying too. So moving!!!!
Well done Angie, thank you taking us all along the way, on your healing journey. It has helped me more than I can put into words. Thanks for giving me strengh to keep going, when I couldn't find the hope. I have recently started to make major improvement, now i'm trying to process all the trauma that i expirenced though it all. thanks again for sharing with everyone and being such a genuine person.
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Angie, you are so brave! God bless you!
Thanks for sharing a bit of your journey. You're doing great and I can't wait to read your book. Also, I appreciate how you always make me laugh (and sometimes cry).
I am pretty funny sometimes. 💜😊
@@AngiePeacockMSW yes, you are 🤣
@@AngiePeacockMSW yes you are funny
I'm crying Angie, I can relate. So much respect for you. I'm on my journey coming of of meds, Paxil. I've been on this road for several years now, you give me hope that it's gonna be OK one day, thanks. Sorry for my bad English, I'm from the Netherlands 🇳🇱.
Thanks for sharing!!
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I love you Angie!
Beautiful ❤
I also cried with you, it is such a struggle , we are so brave that we going through this.
I hope that I can heal too, thanks Angie
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I'm so tired of trying at 3 years.
Hi Angie could you try to do an interview with Peter Eliasburg? He is a lawyer from the US. Really inspiring story!❤
Hello Angie
Why is there not more mention of the sleep issues with this condition? Thank you for your testimony.❤
I have a whole video about sleep. Please scroll back through my older videos to find it.
I find it impossible to look at my family. I am so sick and so sick with guilt. How did I go my whole life, get married, have kids, have a career and hobbies and a huge life and not know i was schizophrenic? For 39yrs never an si or an . Always knew who I was. Hopes.dreams. love. Was I never real? Was it all my imagination that life was right? I'm so distraught iver it. Watching moms with their kids and wives on date nights. I just can't 😢I would havehealed
That doesn’t sound correct. Schizophrenia doesn’t just land on you in your 50s or 60s usually. Can you get a 2nd opinion?
Im 45. Med shit began at 39. It came during the med injury that is the worst ive ever heard of. Because i was "stupid enough" to tell my doctor what the drugs did to me@AngiePeacockMSW
Im on my 5th taper. I’ve had several CT’s and a slower one that didn’t end well. I’ve had chronic akathisia since my first withdrawal in 2012. I’m trying to taper again and am looking for a support group. I feel extremely alone and misunderstood. Can someone point me in the right direction? Thanks!
I have support circles several times a month. You can join here: calendly.com/apeacockconsulting make sure you are registering for one of the TAPERING support circles.
@@AngiePeacockMSW Thanks!
Hi I’m looking for advice please.
I have just recently went cold turkey from Zoloft about 5 weeks ago. I was taking 25mg for only 2 months.
I am suffering from bad vertigo and dizziness I also have anhedonia and emotional numbness. Could somebody please tell me how long it will be until I can recover and go back to my normal self. Thanks.
No one could tell you how long everyone is different. Could be 6-18 months, sometimes longer, with periods of less or more intense symptoms. It can feel like a rollercoaster but healing happens. It just takes time.
What do u do when u r half way through taper, years in and in a complete mess. U can hardly eat sleep or function ???? How do u get out of this hell ? At wits end 😢😢 Updose ? Cant carry on like this, cant keep tapering unless husband quits work and nurses me for the next few years and we go broke. Got v sick last July from taper, one year on, even sicker. I cant look after myself. Propranalol for anxiety ?? Help.
Hello. It would be very irresponsible of me to give advice based on a few comments here on social media. Many are very sick while they taper. Some hold to see if they can get stable. Perhaps watch my video with Mark Horowitz, we discuss this topic.
Thank u Angie ❤❤❤
Hello Angie thank you for your comment.
I used venlafaxin for 7 jears , do you think that i have a chance to heal in a half year ?Then its full 2 Years complete. Or do you think in more years? What do you think ,Whats your feeling?
Thank you very much for all. ❤
I don’t know anything about you so I have no idea. No one can really say. You just have to focus on healing and it will happen.
Thank you very much for the answer.
Can you help me please?
What to do if one single benzo dose triggered severe disabling withdrawl?? TIA
I would guess you had some other meds in your past which caused some kind of kindling. What did you decide to do? I don’t give medical advice, I’m sorry. Especially not in comments on CZcams when I know nothing about you.
@@AngiePeacockMSW thanks so much for answering.
Yes, i slowly tapered off of a benzo taken long term. All was fine til i did this mistake of taking "rescue doses", one of those triggered the severe kindling like a bomb exploded in the brain, symptoms i never had before and ruined all my life.
I just dont know if reinstating would be the right thing to do as the dose had a calming effect for many hours til it all exploded.
Hello Angie,
My brain feels like it's shutting down and not getting any oxygen.
Permanent condition.
Do you know that from other people? It's really bad, with neck problems and poor eyesight.
These feelings in your head are very scary because things have never been better. I have been on cold withdrawal from Venlafaxine for 1.5 years.
Can you tell me if this gets better? It has to start getting better, but it doesn't.
Please answer.
Thank you very much for your videos and your commitment
all love for you.
Yes it gets better. Yea that is a pretty common symptom. If you feel it’s something else, get medically checked so you know it’s withdrawal. Yes it will go away. No it’s not permanent.
@@AngiePeacockMSW thank you so much , DPDR is also permanent. :(
I used venlafaxin for 7 years. Now still 1,6 years in withdrawal.
Do you think i have a Chance that its better in a half year ? Or do i need years? 😢
Did you loose your taste buds Angie
No but that’s a covid symptom.
No I had my taste buds before my withdrawals in March
March of this year to be exact
@@tamihenderson4500 well for some that can be a covid symptom without any other virus symptoms. I haven't really see anyone say that as a symptom of wd. It's possible I guess, but usually I hear that from COVID not wd.
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