I know y’all show up to grandma’s on Sunday with a freshly baked cobbler, be proud of that #magicthegathering #mtg #mtgcommunity #cardgame #mtgcommander
@@Leetshifter Also, it should ideally be one of the many, many, many covers in which the singer is flat-out gay for Jolene. The reason for that is because If you post art like this on Discord, every lesbian on the server will be contractually obligated to reply "Mommy? 🥺👉👈"
Don't forget Academy Manufactor. Jolene makes 2 treasures, two food, and two clues. I think. Either that or 2 treasures, 1 clue and 1 food. Ask a judge. Still good.
Jolene and Xorn both say “if you would make one or more treasures, make another”, and Academy Manufactor says “if you would make a food, clue, or treasure, make one of each”. With all three on the board, and a trigger to make a treasure, the optimal play is 1) Resolve the Jolene trigger, you’re now making 2 treasure. 2) Resolve the Xorn trigger, you’re now making 3 treasure. 3) Resolve the Academy Manufactor trigger, you’re now making 3 treasure, 3 food, and 3 clue. If you have a Goldspan Dragon those treasures tap for 2 mana.
i run her in the 99 of my Maarika deck and although she is a little janky with 5 mana cost i could draw like 5-6 cards with her, made a player who was land screwed join the game, made two creatures quite big with counters and still make everyone turn on me due to my board state 😂 @@Shadowkat0326
@@MakeVarahHappen If the format doesn’t work 1v1 that just raises the question of why multiplayer isn’t built in, like with 2HG, or Emperor. Seems like a design mistake.
@@jacobd1984 It isn’t technically built into the rules, but balance wise, 100 card singleton where some decks can play a double digit number of 1* card combos that win the game or get you very close would be a terrible format, if not for the other two people at the table who can help you gang up on whoever drew the best hand
A guy at my lgs has a BRG deck (can’t remember the commander off the top of my head) where he essentially hands out treasures to other players in order to take down his opponents
As someone who made this deck like a month ago and it actually came in the mail today and was sleeved up like three hours ago this feels like a sign from Yugi Moto himself that I made the right choice.
It's an Italian name from a Japanese game pronounced with a British style. It's wandered a long way from where it started. (Both Italian and Japanese do not have the 'meh' sound present in that pronunciation of 'meh-rio' )
That’s why you pair her up with Pain Distributor, Ingenious Artillerist, and Reckless Fireweaver, you thought those treasures were free? Nah you go to pay in the only currency Gruul accepts, PAIN!
As a player of "Mach 5 Hamster" I approve this nickname. I also must note that I have my Boo token covered with a printout of the "Hampter" meme. Because Hampter goes hard.
Mald, my guy, you have severely misread the card. She only has one relevant line of text in the command zone, and that is her second one. Jolene may be stealing hearts, but she's certainly doing it with white collar crime, Magda, Bootlegger's Stash, Sunshot Militia, and Reckless Fireweaver.
I still think were due for a Krenko Mob boss vid of him just mildly going "what the fuck is wrong with you?" to images of each cheap af card that goes dummy with him for the whole video
Jolene goes in my Kibo deck, I’m typically trying to give everyone as much treasure and bananas as possible so everyone plays really fast lol descent into avernus is goated in the deck
I’ve learned she’s pretty good in an Ognis, the Dragon’s Lash deck where you just give everything haste and make as many treasure tokens as humanly possible
I kinda like the card that came with the cowboy set Generous Plunderer. Seems like it could be useful for this to force them to use the treasure instead of stockpiling. Maybe find a way to prevent them from sacrificing. Kinda cool idea for a deck
An important distinction between the first two abilities is that the second ability doesn't care if it's attacking or casting a spell that would create a token.
That last ability is basically flavor text, Jolene is just here to be the table's sugar mommy to pay for everyone's big fun toys, and honestly I don't even play the physical game but would LOVE to make a deck for her.
As someone who maintains excruciating effort to look like this, simping as hard as gruul players do for muscle mommies is equivalent to begging for a pegging, and that does usually pique our interests.
you make good points but in my baby pool of players that don't swing unless None of Their Shit Will Die, that is closer to 2 for 1 than 2 for 3 in my world. But yes, she is mostly there because I want to see her with my eyes
Thank you for your prayers Maldhound. I tried getting Jolene a housecat to double her treasure mana and make her look my way, but green always needs the help. Speaking of Gruul, Mana and ladies how about that Housecat Roxanne?
I've been brewing a deck with Jolene for a while now, months really. I have been afraid of making the deck real because I have been worried about it being too strong for the guys I play with. But with this video I'm feeling more comfortable with the idea of making the deck. I hadn't really been thinking about just how much of a benefit it is for my opponents to be getting that one treasure per turn while I'm getting 10 or more per turn.
As a "muscle mommy" myself, I have one thing to say. You're doing amazing, and I'm extremely proud of you. Keep on doing your best, and maybe one day I'll spit in your drink or something.
She is great in a Ragni and Ragavan deck as another source of the treaure tokens you are already pumping out at every opportunity so you may get to the stealing of your opponent's stuff even faster politic enough and have enough buddies with goad effects and suddenly you have way more treasure stocks than anyone at the table
I have a Jolene deck that never uses the sac ability. It's literally just "I get mana for days" as it runs stuff like Nyxbloom Ancient and other extra mana enablers plus token doublers, and multiple Treasure abilities, plus Jaheira, so I can just continuously dump every last bad bitch in my hand every single turn and rarely needing to actually Treasures to do it. It's not my favorite deck, but it definitely steals games and claps cheeks when I use it.
she is in the 99 of my roxanne treasure deck. the deck looks to poop out treasure like cartman did after he ate all that fake treasure in the cave. and this jolene just makes more of it happen! the uncommon jolene is also in it cuz more treasure lol. her and xorn are pretty much the mom and dad of the deck and they're just letting the cat go wild while they rake in tax fraud from the irs
just got to play with some friends tonight and took that big jolene W. riding on the backs of old gnawbone, ancient copper, and magda ft portal to phyrexia. its all fair magic until i say its not
The first thing I thought of was that you're playing the colors of artifact hate/steal so its not that bad while you could slap some goad on there and have a good ole' time. Then theres the potential for Group Slug.
Finally, out of allll the commanders he's ragged on so far, here's one that in my case CAN 110% GET IT. 🙌✅ Also Magda really needs to teach this gal how to _properly_ invest 5 treasures. 🤦♀️
What if all I want is a fair game where they all beat each other up and I end up winning because I just had the biggest mommy? I have two decks I wand to put her in though, and they both involve punching my opponents creatures out of their boots. Getting paid for it is just a coincidence. On the note of strong independent women who would (and have) kill(ed) their man, when would we be getting that roast of Marchesa the Black Rose? I've been waiting so long and been ever so patient.
Us gruul players straighten up for the muscle mommy, because we not only love giving big stompy, but receiving it too.
And then add black and you get the sweet beat down of Maarika, jund muscle mommy who doesn't just break you but your things too. Too much for the bed.
Jolene, I'm begging of you, please don't take my man.
Take me instead please.
That song should be played any time someone brings her to the table.
@@Leetshifter Also, it should ideally be one of the many, many, many covers in which the singer is flat-out gay for Jolene. The reason for that is because If you post art like this on Discord, every lesbian on the server will be contractually obligated to reply "Mommy? 🥺👉👈"
@@Unit-3D I will most certainly not.
I'll be making her cry mommy.
@@Leetshifter Or Rooooooooooooooxanne
@@Unit-3D I definitely love the Reinaeiry cover of Jolene.
The ABC's of a Gruul player:
[A]lways
[B]e
[C]ombating
As an Izzet player, I honestly read that as [C]omboing.
...i cant help but think Uncle Dane isnt a Gruul player, gonna be honest
"That is two treasure tokens for you and three collectively for..."
Xorn and Goldspan Dragon say hi.
Don't forget Academy Manufactor.
Jolene makes 2 treasures, two food, and two clues. I think. Either that or 2 treasures, 1 clue and 1 food. Ask a judge. Still good.
Jolene and Xorn both say “if you would make one or more treasures, make another”, and Academy Manufactor says “if you would make a food, clue, or treasure, make one of each”. With all three on the board, and a trigger to make a treasure, the optimal play is
1) Resolve the Jolene trigger, you’re now making 2 treasure.
2) Resolve the Xorn trigger, you’re now making 3 treasure.
3) Resolve the Academy Manufactor trigger, you’re now making 3 treasure, 3 food, and 3 clue.
If you have a Goldspan Dragon those treasures tap for 2 mana.
@@tristanmabbitt9828 Neither of those abilities are triggers. They're replacement effects
please dont overlook the new: "Roxanne, Starfall Savant"
Parallel lives and doubling season also would like to join
Coincidentally, Mach Five Hamster and Jellybean Mosh Pit are the names of my last two albums.
Even more coincidentally, "Pie-Laugh" was actually my nickname in high school!
"You cannot be funding your haters better than yourself."
Vazi begs to differ and, more importantly, has Jolene as her secretary of state.
I'm all in on the Vaziocracy
vazi mad underrated with almost all decks having treasures these days
I just finally caved and bought Vazi. Excited to brew her!
i run her in the 99 of my Maarika deck and although she is a little janky with 5 mana cost i could draw like 5-6 cards with her, made a player who was land screwed join the game, made two creatures quite big with counters and still make everyone turn on me due to my board state 😂 @@Shadowkat0326
That said, she's pretty good in a 1v1.
1v1 Commander is like competitive Monopoly. A complete joke.
@@MakeVarahHappen I'm sorry that you have such a hard time over people having fun in different ways to you.
@@MakeVarahHappen If the format doesn’t work 1v1 that just raises the question of why multiplayer isn’t built in, like with 2HG, or Emperor. Seems like a design mistake.
@@jacobd1984 I mean, multiplayer is built into Commander. Duel Commander is just a variant of a variant.
@@jacobd1984 It isn’t technically built into the rules, but balance wise, 100 card singleton where some decks can play a double digit number of 1* card combos that win the game or get you very close would be a terrible format, if not for the other two people at the table who can help you gang up on whoever drew the best hand
I wonder if Gruul has enough helpful cards to make this a grouphug. A big, muscly grouphug...
Kind of, yeah! Tempting Contract, Descent into Avernus are very funny
A guy at my lgs has a BRG deck (can’t remember the commander off the top of my head) where he essentially hands out treasures to other players in order to take down his opponents
@@omegamkx588sounds like Vazi, the chick who pays people
@@omegamkx588Is that Vazi, Keen Negotiator?
Group snug, you might say
Anyone asking if she can get it hasn't looked at the card: she's ACTIVELY IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING IT.
As someone who made this deck like a month ago and it actually came in the mail today and was sleeved up like three hours ago this feels like a sign from Yugi Moto himself that I made the right choice.
Muscle Mommy is *always* the right choice.
So you didn’t “make” it a month ago, you “bought” it a month ago, and made it the day you made that post
Her activated ability is just bedazzling her gauntlets. I am not taking questions at this time.
Right? Jolene outta nowhere with the Infinity Gauntlet. 😂
Meanwhile, the 5 treasures sitting on your board:
"Jolene. Jolene. Jolene, JOLENE. Please don't sac us just because you can."
Eight-and-a-Half-Tails is my favorite commander, and I'd love a roast of him from the Lord of Roasts.
I've been doing this for a long time....
And I keep telling you, stop activating his ability, it just keeps deflecting him
Ah, yes, the "wait until blockers have been declared or there are no blockers and play Gold Rush" commander. Turn your group hug into a suplex today!
The "Marry-oh" brothers????
It's an Italian name from a Japanese game pronounced with a British style. It's wandered a long way from where it started.
(Both Italian and Japanese do not have the 'meh' sound present in that pronunciation of 'meh-rio' )
That’s why you pair her up with Pain Distributor, Ingenious Artillerist, and Reckless Fireweaver, you thought those treasures were free? Nah you go to pay in the only currency Gruul accepts, PAIN!
I like to pair her with the cute little monkey prince, Kibo.
As a player of "Mach 5 Hamster" I approve this nickname. I also must note that I have my Boo token covered with a printout of the "Hampter" meme. Because Hampter goes hard.
I'm learning magic solely through this series and your streams. We'll see how we go
So happy to see this after my Jolene deck was part of the first deck roasts :D
My brain was singing Jolene by Dolly Parton the whole roast.
Could you do Laughing Jasper flint? It’s as close to dumbass mill as rakdos is going to get.
Mald, my guy, you have severely misread the card. She only has one relevant line of text in the command zone, and that is her second one. Jolene may be stealing hearts, but she's certainly doing it with white collar crime, Magda, Bootlegger's Stash, Sunshot Militia, and Reckless Fireweaver.
I think this is the tamest review we’ve had in a bit.
I still think were due for a Krenko Mob boss vid of him just mildly going "what the fuck is wrong with you?" to images of each cheap af card that goes dummy with him for the whole video
Look man, i just want to sing Jolene.
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
I use the treasures for counters as a surprise kill after no blocks
Speaking of Muscle Mommies I'm putting in a request for Karlach.
This card is the greatest hidden Commander. No one suspects the Queen to appear, and when she does it rains.
Just wait for them to get goldspan dragon out
Jolene goes in my Kibo deck, I’m typically trying to give everyone as much treasure and bananas as possible so everyone plays really fast lol descent into avernus is goated in the deck
Jolene...jolene...joooooleeene...
Please don't take my man.
I would like to request Mishra, Claimed by Gix. AKA: Urza's Fusion Dancing brother.
Once again requesting a roast on the snake that is here to shank, Chishiro, the Shattered Blade
One of my favorite commanders! I got the precon and was so surprised how fun it was that I had to rip it apart and do my own riff on it.
@@kennyrichardson3842 Sweet! What was your take on my little edgy boi?
her and her lieutenants collector ouphe, generous plunderer, and sardian avenger.
o7
I’ve learned she’s pretty good in an Ognis, the Dragon’s Lash deck where you just give everything haste and make as many treasure tokens as humanly possible
And here I play her as a commander in my Song deck. Red Heads and Threaten effects.
I'm building Jolene as a Christmas Themed Group Hug list and reskinning her as Santa.
I kinda like the card that came with the cowboy set Generous Plunderer. Seems like it could be useful for this to force them to use the treasure instead of stockpiling. Maybe find a way to prevent them from sacrificing. Kinda cool idea for a deck
Viridian Revel, baby! Go ahead, use those three free treasures a turn. I'll be collecting with interest.
I built her as a land destruction deck because I'd have so much treasure generators on the field that I don't need lands anymore.
I shall once again ask for my personal favourite commander, rashmi eternities crafter
As a Jolene player, I'm really baffled that you are letting me get away with this. This deck is the bane of my playgroup's existence.
An important distinction between the first two abilities is that the second ability doesn't care if it's attacking or casting a spell that would create a token.
Step on me? Nah. She's goals
That last ability is basically flavor text, Jolene is just here to be the table's sugar mommy to pay for everyone's big fun toys, and honestly I don't even play the physical game but would LOVE to make a deck for her.
In a perfect world there are only gruul decks
As someone who maintains excruciating effort to look like this, simping as hard as gruul players do for muscle mommies is equivalent to begging for a pegging, and that does usually pique our interests.
you make good points but in my baby pool of players that don't swing unless None of Their Shit Will Die, that is closer to 2 for 1 than 2 for 3 in my world. But yes, she is mostly there because I want to see her with my eyes
To be fair she's in green so she's still gonna have the mana advantage, she's just helping make it a bigger lead
She is definitely going in the 99 of my Thantis deck tho.
Thank you for your prayers Maldhound. I tried getting Jolene a housecat to double her treasure mana and make her look my way, but green always needs the help.
Speaking of Gruul, Mana and ladies how about that Housecat Roxanne?
I'm bringing Doubling Season, Parallel Lives, Primal Vigor, etc. I don't care if I lose, I'm going out a RICH man.
I've been brewing a deck with Jolene for a while now, months really. I have been afraid of making the deck real because I have been worried about it being too strong for the guys I play with. But with this video I'm feeling more comfortable with the idea of making the deck. I hadn't really been thinking about just how much of a benefit it is for my opponents to be getting that one treasure per turn while I'm getting 10 or more per turn.
Allow me to introduce you to my Jolene & her Dragon Hoard deck. (Because it's full of beat face dragons and puns are funny)
Something for Saheeli the Gifted?
Mald, this is Gruul, we're not making 2 treasures, we're making 8 because we just had 4 combat steps in a row
The Mairio brothers and pylath pronunciations did a number on me with this one
Why is Dolly Parton playing in my had 😂
"merry-oh brothers"
Speaking of Fair Magic, I would love to see Yasharn, Implacable Earth
Academy Manufactor and about two dozen different ways to create treasures exist, Jolene is not fair she is hell
Mald! What was the punishment for your pokemon butchering DND group?? I just rewatched that video and I don't think we ever got an answer 😂
As a "muscle mommy" myself, I have one thing to say.
You're doing amazing, and I'm extremely proud of you. Keep on doing your best, and maybe one day I'll spit in your drink or something.
Mach 5 hamster had me dead
The incentive: I’ll pay you if you hit them.
Reward: I’mma burglarizing everyone.
Pay-Off: Thanks for paying my gains
Old gnawbone and Ancient copper dragon enter the chat
There's a GREEN enchantment that doubles the amount of counters a character gets. Also Vorinclex. Because GREEN.
its actually kinda funny I have her in my Roxanne deck and sometimes if I feel like it just switch out Roxanne for Her, she makes it pretty fun.
My man forgot Ognis exists...and that's exactly how I want it.
She is great in a Ragni and Ragavan deck as another source of the treaure tokens you are already pumping out at every opportunity so you may get to the stealing of your opponent's stuff even faster politic enough and have enough buddies with goad effects and suddenly you have way more treasure stocks than anyone at the table
That said, just imagine dropping a dockside extortionist after all your opponents go for the greed with each other.
Ok is the apocalypse occurring because i think i just heard mald praise green
Someone played Jolene on an episode of Game Knights! Can't remember who, was a fun episode
I run Wilson, Refined Grizzly/Guild Artisan; plays similarly, a tad harder to disrupt and comes online a tad sooner, but not necessarily more powerful
I'm so called out rn.
its like gix for people who have friends
Continuing my request for my Queen Sharuum the Hegemon
Jolene is the legal closest thing we would have on magic to pay IRL money to other player to attack anyone but us... and i lover her XD
My friend put her in kibo after the clerk at my lgs said hey, great card for that
I have a Jolene deck that never uses the sac ability. It's literally just "I get mana for days" as it runs stuff like Nyxbloom Ancient and other extra mana enablers plus token doublers, and multiple Treasure abilities, plus Jaheira, so I can just continuously dump every last bad bitch in my hand every single turn and rarely needing to actually Treasures to do it.
It's not my favorite deck, but it definitely steals games and claps cheeks when I use it.
You have 3 opponents, but you also have 2 teammates
she is in the 99 of my roxanne treasure deck. the deck looks to poop out treasure like cartman did after he ate all that fake treasure in the cave. and this jolene just makes more of it happen! the uncommon jolene is also in it cuz more treasure lol. her and xorn are pretty much the mom and dad of the deck and they're just letting the cat go wild while they rake in tax fraud from the irs
When Dolly said Jolene was going to take her man I didn't know ahe meant she was going to physically kidnap him!
Funny. In my pod my Jolene is goated with the sauce.
Humbly asking for a look at Xyris. Def my fav commander I've got.
Rancor entered the chat
just got to play with some friends tonight and took that big jolene W. riding on the backs of old gnawbone, ancient copper, and magda ft portal to phyrexia. its all fair magic until i say its not
Jolene is in the 99 of my Vazi, Keen Negotiator deck
I would like to request a roast of Narset, Enlighted Exile
Another day of asking for Neera, Wild mage.
Tell me how you felt when you first laid eyes on Blim, Comedic Genius. I need to hear it.
The first thing I thought of was that you're playing the colors of artifact hate/steal so its not that bad while you could slap some goad on there and have a good ole' time. Then theres the potential for Group Slug.
Jolene got recognition?! Oh how WONDERFUL!
Day 79 of the Magda March
I know someone who built Jolene CEDH, it's surprisingly effective
I wonder what he's gonna say about Roxanne from Thunder junction. She drops meteors on people. Lol
Was actually just thinking of making this deck lol
Any love for the mighty morphin modular wasp Zabaz?
Finally, out of allll the commanders he's ragged on so far, here's one that in my case CAN 110% GET IT. 🙌✅
Also Magda really needs to teach this gal how to _properly_ invest 5 treasures. 🤦♀️
What if all I want is a fair game where they all beat each other up and I end up winning because I just had the biggest mommy?
I have two decks I wand to put her in though, and they both involve punching my opponents creatures out of their boots. Getting paid for it is just a coincidence.
On the note of strong independent women who would (and have) kill(ed) their man, when would we be getting that roast of Marchesa the Black Rose? I've been waiting so long and been ever so patient.
Magda, brazen outlaw next! Dwarven mommy makes it rain treasure and dragons
If someone is building her without generous plunderer they're throwing fr