that novel you wrote in middle school:
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- čas přidán 25. 08. 2024
- we all did this
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99% exposition. 1% self insert power fantasy.
Every. Isekai. Ever.
@@majunior1944 No the self insert power fantasy part is way higher in those.
@@majunior1944 more like 99% self insert power fantasy
And a 100% to remember the name! Man Carrying Thing that is. I don't know his real name 👁️👃👁️
@@Shashank7170 No different from any Superhero medium.
They are all power fantasies.
“We were learning percentage conversions… I always hated percentage conversions…”
This quote feels like it comes out of a Max Payne Junior kids show
this sentence... it hurts me. It always did.
This comment is 10x more relatable than the whole vidéo
OH GOD PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP. THE MEMORIES ARE PAINFUL
@@kabardino1337 I thought of Max Payne too lol
the contrast of the ice cold rain galloping down his cheeks to the warmth in the narrator's chest when he thinks about dead veronica is very deep
no way it's that personality guyyy
hi fank jrames
Holy shit funny personality man
English teachers:
It's the MBTI dude!
Things I blame this writing style on:
- YA books
- teen angst
- teachers who act like the word “said” will obliterate humanity and sleep with your wife
Yeah, the war against "said" makes people afraid of writing dialouge.
I like that sleeping with your wife is considered comparable to humanity being obliterated.
A couple years ago i would scour the Internet for “100 synonyms of said” websites, because using that word was somehow the equivalent of summoning Satan and bowing to him.
And now I don’t give a frick. Ahhh, the freedom.
“And now I don’t give a frick. Ah, the freedom.” They said.
- wattpad
more accurately, the first chapter of a novel you wanted to write in middle school but could never be bothered to finish
The moment I looked back, I realized that I was drowning in the unwritten manuscripts of my dark past. If I wanted to escape them, then I would need the help of the Wizard...
So many started novels... none of them have more than 2 chapters.
@@alexf225 But you at least have an outline of titles for those unwritten chapters, right?
Stop coming for me this hard! LMAO
I feel personally attacked by this comment.
“…the seekers” that is so fucking accurate
Oh it's you
In my ridiculous stories they were always some secret order training the younger generation to be “strong” and to develop psychic powers by…treating us like utmost utter shit 😂
@@wandaruth3833 dawg…”secret order training a younger generation to be psychics” is literally the plot of a thing I’m writing…
I hate it when I'm being chased by the jets from transformers and a bookseries about bears
@@zarkflappysheep lemme guess.... the Seekers?
It's "the Seekers" that's really doing it for me. YA fiction during that era so often utilized a vague word with unexplained capitalization to make it sound more ominous. "It was a big day for me, I had to get to school on time to take the Test. Everyone in school took the Test during their 8th year."
Maze Runner
@@im4ft622literally lmao
@@im4ft622 As much as I did legitimately enjoy Maze Runner, it was guilty of this trope. The Reavers, the Maze, the Scorch, etc.
That's when it happened. _The Erection._
have you happened to have read the book The Testing
It's okay, at least you were writing. Doing something creative, especially as a kid, is never bad or embarrassing.
Look it’s great to be creative and all, but also totally fine to look back and cringe at the utter garbage you created.
something chatgpt would say
@@higztv1166 I feel like you think you were either creative or funny. You were neither.
@@Rhewin 🤓🤓🤓
@@higztv1166 😎😎😎
He's both literally jumping all over the place and the text is metaphorically jumping all over the place, it's actually deeper than you could possibly imagine, way DEEP
He has to jump so high and so hard to escape the deepness.
The Deep would be proud.
On an unrelated note, I'm 14
Deeper than he knew he was capable of.
@@rishidharan6294 m.czcams.com/video/izGwDsrQ1eQ/video.html
So we all wrote the same novel.
We sure did
yeah lol
Were the "Seekers" invisible to most everyone except the self-insert protagonist in your guys' versions, too?
Humanity is a hive mind
@@chompythebeast Oh god, they were 😭
“You’re probably wondering why I have a pocket knife in my shoe. I’ve had it there for six years.” -- my middle school novel
“I like the feeling of getting stabbed repeatedly.” -Your main character probably.
@@plumjet09 You just let your shoe knife raw dog you like that?
@@thekingscrown8931
You don’t?
I like to think the knife is embedded in the protagonist's flesh and they haven't taken the shoe off in six years.
It is soon revealed that he calls the time capsule that he and his brother made his ”shoe.”
You could easily turn this into a series.
- The novel you wrote in high school:
- The novel you wrote in college:
- The novel you wrote in elementary school:
- The "novel" you wrote in kindergarten:
Fuck, I already have all of the criteriums filled
- HS Novel: Political and war story that was done in my own style
- College: Historical fiction novel that kickstarted my entire passion project
- Elementary: Zombie novel that was doing a parody of the genre and established tropes
- Kindergarten: Hand drawn comic "book" about a dumbass crashing onto an island
The university/college one is written in the 'style of James Joyce' - nothing makes sense and nothing happens
@@deadpan904And the one you wrote in kindergarten has an average of 75 misspellings per page.
@@plumjet09 and only 74 characters 💀
"there was once a cat that liked to bye tings and it fell of a clif"
The pain of the cringe I just felt after recovering a memory I didn't knew I had is gonna stay with me for weeks to come. Thanks a lot.
Levels here I didn’t think existed. But this is a very real skit. Too real. The reality shakes me down like a….oh God. I’m doing it again.
man carrying thing knows me better than I do
I did nothing but write pretentious fanfic all through my teen-age years, this skit physically shook me
Man carrying my secret shame.
@@demondeacon5175 cringeception right there brah
Veronica was sitting in front of me, and the moment she turned back to ask me what today's date was, I knew in that moment that she was my only connection to the One Orb...
The One Orb was a mythical legend, and some people didn't believe it existed. but i did. I knew the truth. i guess you could say i wasn't completely normal. i knew that was true when military army soldiers burst into our classroom out of nowhere
@@shradibop “military army” as opposed to non-military army
@@ch33les99 a.k.a. an angry mob
@@ch33les99 Salvation Army.
When I looked into her eyes, I thought I caught a glimpse of the orb but little did I know that I was sucked into the void of uncertainty and it’s only when I woke up I realized that I had a dream, swimming in a never ending sea with its pitch black, trapped in a sphere that was her pupil
“Like a wet towel made of water” is hands down the best use of figurative language I have ever encountered.
Well I mean, remember, he's talking about his face, so it makes sense
When you write your first romance story but are too impatient for a proper buildup, so your main characters are hooking up by page three.
Why are you attacking me
That just sounds like erotica
@@FreePalestineFromGenocideNOW They say you should write what you know
I wrote a romance once. Deadass page one 😭 it was slow burn
This is literally me, but with every ending of a story I wrote
The best part of these was how you thought this one would be your big break and push you into being famous
yep infamy for sure
i n f a m y
better to be feared than loved
@@Laittth Oh no, run! It’s the guy who made a novel in middle school!
@@Laittth did I use the wrong word here
Gotta love the “more descriptive words = better writing” mindset. The wet towel of water got me
Good writing is just using a thesaurus to make every word in a sentence seem -fancier- more sumptuous
Modern journalism
use as many metaphors and similies as possible
@@plantnation5932 my English teacher made us study movie reviews to enrich our vocabulary because he said that even though he had been working as a translator and an interpreter for decades, he'd always find at least a word he had never heard before in every movie review he read.
Wait, it doesn't? /genuine question from someone who wants to be an author
Jokes on you, my middle school novel was a Ronald McDonald fan fiction where he went nuts & teamed up with badass commandos and cartoon characters to stop the Burger King.
That sounds epic.
This sounds honestly amazing
I wish I could find the floppy disk it was on and see if it’s as good as I remember
@@dixonbuttes so... did you find it?
@@daliblue_ no, I think it’s lost. Way back when I moved out, I imagine my parents assumed it was nonsense and tossed it. Mark my words, it was gold though.
I still remember when I wanted to describe a poor, dilapidated old village and so I wrote that in the bakery there, they baked stale old bread.
The bread is so bad that as soon as it’s taken out of the oven it immediately becomes stale and develops mold. Don’t ask how.
I honestly think that this is an important part of any authors journey. If you haven’t written something embarrassing you have nothing to run away from.
I wrote a self insert fanfic on a unofficial Minecraft storybook when I was in elementary school about a zombie. If I hadn’t written that I would never know what terrible things I am capable of, because of this I know what I need to avoid when writing.
Nothing to run away from?? What about my parents? Society?? *The Seekers?*
Vomit your bad writing from your system right away.
Oh my god diary of a Minecraft zombie I swear I never thought I found find anyone who knew about that book
I remember in middle school when I wrote 2 chapters of my Minecraft fanfic starring Herobrine as the main villain haha
Like most avid book readers I have tried to write myself. After about 200 short stories I have come to the conclusion that I am great at world building but royally suck at characters.
in middle school i wrote a book with one of my friends and it was a fantasy romance so when the two love interests kissed we were so proud of the scene that we showed it to our 7th grade english teacher. physical pain.
Great memory
😂 i’m weak
this made me laugh out loud hahahahahah
That's cvte
Lemme read that bro
This video made my mouth go up in an upward motion. As though to signal a twinge of happiness or even amusement. A feeling I haven’t felt since THE SEEKERS began hunting me down. This video welled my eyes up with cold tears as it reminded me of the simple times before I accidentally opened up a portal to the edge of space in my backyard. Thank you, sir. Thank you.
I remember loving to write in school until a specific English teacher decided "nah, I don't like your writing" and would nitpick everything. Once she had me stay after school just so she could lecture me that "foregone" wasn't a word, and that "people don't talk like this".
It was a poem. Of course nobody talks like that. It's poetry.
Also, foregone is a word. A very old word, but a word nonetheless. A quick google search would tell you that, an English teacher of all people should know that. It's no wonder so many kids are failing their classes if even the teachers don't know how to do their jobs.
Your English teacher was a failure of an English teacher. Foregone isn't even that abandoned of a word to say it's not real. People still say "foregone conclusion", meaning an outcome that's not going to be changed. For instance, your English teacher's failure as an English teacher is a foregone conclusion.
Also, people don't talk like most styles of writing, even if it's not poetry. Everything is exaggerated in some way that isn't natural in actual speech. They're characters, not people.
Are you writing again? :c
Not only is "foregone" a word that's still in common usage, the present tense/participle ("forgo"/"forgoing") are also sometimes used as a synonym for "abstain/abstaining from".
Although I suspect from the "people don't talk like that" comment that this specific teacher may have had some difficulty in correctly defining terms such as "tense", "participle" and "synonym". Technical failures aside... it was schoolkid poetry. If you're an English teacher and you respond to even the most execrable schoolkid poetry with anything other than encouragement and positive suggestions/constructive criticism, you're incredibly shit at your job.
@@IceDragon978 I've never heard of the term "foregone conclusion" but yeah that English teacher was a huge dick
I didn’t think I could relate to a video this much… BUT THAT WAS BEFORE THE INCIDENT
Oh god, not the INCIDENT
Edit: Nevermind, I was thinking about the “not since the accident” from Jeaney Collects’ videos XD
@@Maria.Mirabella Same hahaha
* gasps *
The Incident...that changed everything...Veronica was in the BEFORE TIMES...now it's THE AFTER TIMES!
@@Maria.Mirabella sauce?
I wrote a screenplay when I was 14. It was meant to be a comedy but I didn’t realise you need to be funny to write good comedy
That is the hard part
if it makes you feel any better i laughed at this
Parker istg this made me wheeze so hard, you're funny okay
@@PichuElric sick
Sometimes you dont laugh at your joke but other people can! I wrote "funny" novel back in the day tht i didnt think its that funny, yet i got multiple fan-emails complimenting how funny my novel was. Have some faith in yourself!
I wrote about a guy with amazing beginner's luck but was terrible at things afterwards. His music, sports, academics everything started with a bang and went downhill. So, does his business. He realises this and robs a bank. Successful, he decides to use beginner's luck on car racing but dies of crash.
no lie, that's actually a pretty interesting plot idea.
the government could use him very well
Now, I think I should end by mentioning his win in a red light drag race in a crappy car against another crappy car. Already used his luck but thought it was skill.
The Seekers….lol….I had a group in a thing like this I wrote called the Deathmen. They were basically a bunch of weak-a** skeleton death-eaters who would just run around chasing the main character. Meanwhile back at the ranch the main character literally just cried uncontrollably and screamed “NOOOOOO!” every two pages because I thought that would make ppl empathize with him. And I would put like 50 ‘O’s in each “NOOOO!” because I thought that expressed some kind of deep and ineffable emotion….agh I can’t….
The Deathmen is a sick band name though
im sick and i'm laughing and coughing so hard because of this
I wrote a novel like this and obviously the main character was myself and the side characters my classmates. I shared it with everyone and then more people asked to be included. The funniest thing about it was that I had two people fall in love in my story and I've recently seen them again and they're now actually in a relationship.
Bruh that sound wholesome
Can you write one where I make tons of money?
Aw that's awesome
Reality warping superpowers.
Did any of the characters die? 😮
Remember everyone: if you cringe at this, it means you've grown as a writer.
or it's just your ability to recognize bad writing, but not the writing skill itself
@@higztv1166This.
*Luc Besson:* XD
@@higztv1166that is the first step tho 🤔
When you look back on how far you've come as a writer but that means you have to remember that one cringe story or world
My favourite part is the implication that, while he's being chased by "the seekers," he's imagining everything that happened up until the moment he's being chased.
same 😆
Yes haha definitely begun in middle school and NOT brainstormed STARTING in middle school, until I finally felt the confidence to begin tackling this absolute monster, wrangling it into the masterpiece it’s sure to become.
I’m ready now. I’m gonna be 38 years old in just over a month, and I’m finally ready now. Yes. Yes.
It’s my time. My time is now. It’s time.
Now.
What the fuck
Do it.
Middle school me would always leave my friends in suspense about my book series: “the bad guys really have their moment in book seven” (meanwhile I’m fully unaware of what I will write in books 1-6)
You always have the plans for the big moments, but everything else to lead up to those big moment are _________
I just keep feeling more and more called-out in the comments here lol
So you're basically Steven Moffat.
@@87axal I laughed way too loudly at this. Absolutely brilliant
It actually hurts how accurate this shit is. The overly detailed in medias res opening passage, the bumpy transition into an exposition dump filled with every plot idea you have in your head simultaneously, the sudden shift from overly dramatic action to the "regular life of a teenager"-backstory, the overuse of proper nouns (that are not too complicated because then you'd have to invest work into reasearching and/or coming up with actually interesting words), and the implication of the protagonist being a loner (because that's relatable and also it means you don't have to write too many plot relevant characters... not like you woukd keep writing after the introduction anyway), it all comes together to form the ultimate amalgamation of everything 16yo me has ever written
Dude are you an English major because 😭 I'm getting called out in an educational way I can understand and I don't like it
@@PichuElric LMAO English isn't even my first language but thank you haha
What’s wrong with proper nouns?
@@antfruit nothing per se, but if the reader is confronted with too many words that don't make sense to them yet, they start to sound overdramatic and silly rather than being something that sets up expectations and excitement
I still feel these until now i need to go to classes again i need proper training i feel sorry for my readers who read my fics
The book I wrote in middle school was meant to be an angsty supervillain backstory that kept going and GOING. I had so much filler, probably because writing just gave me something to do. After 2 years I finished, after... over... 300 pages...
Funnily enough I would ONLY write this story during class, but since I would still get my schoolwork done the teachers never told me to stop.
I'm impressed you kept going. I would have gotten bored after a week.
The angsty supervillain backstory that keeps going just sounds like doofenschmirtz
Oh my God, this is triggering memories for me. I once wrote a story similar to this (albeit much more angsty), and my teacher wanted to read it out loud in class. For some reason, I agreed. I'm cringing to death rn. Thanks.
Perfect how it ends at a random point, as that's all you wrote of the massive story before losing interest (or writing another story)
Or writing the same story but with a different beginning.
This comment is a personal attack
@@primoridalspatula663 Noooo not the dozen beginnings......
Its more like idk how to continue the story or end it. All i thought was some cool scenes for a story and don't know how to continue it lol
Nothing more relatable than being chased by *The Seekers*
Who the hell are *The Seekers* you're speaking of? Did you mean _The Seekers_ ?
_The Seekers_ who seek out the One They Seek 😳
Are they Dogs with human intelligence or Bears?
@@Celestial914 you would have to seek them out to find the answer to your theories.
@@Celestial914 Neither they are giant alien robots from another planet that turn into jets and are led by someone with the most grating voice ever
Too accurate. It's crazy that I will never be as productive as I was when I was 12 and wrote a 150k word novel. It's a steaming pile of shit, of course, but I have never been as productive as I was on the months I wrote it. The most words I've written for another work since is like 30k. I'm 19 now.
Damn. Never got past 5k words in the shit I wrote when I was 12. Or 13. Or 14. Or 15. It was at 16 when I finally reached a few tens of thousands of words for a story. Then I spend a year trying to make a second draft. Then I gave up. Then I got to about 20k in two other attempts at a story. Then I wrote a short story of 6k words this spring, which I really liked actually and it's the first time I've shown some of my writing to other people. Since then I've been working on a longer project again. I'm somewhere over 60k and I would estimate that I'm only halfway through the story. I'm also 19 btw.
@@legrandliseurtri7495 Congrats on having written 60k! That's a big achievement. My latest project, which I spent months planning, is currently sitting at 3k words, and I haven't touched it in weeks. I think the problem is that, right now, I am too aware of how bad a writer I am whereas 12 year old me just didn't give a fuck and wrote anyway. Oh to be 12 again...
Me, I just get distracted by other things and never come back to it, ever
I wrote a novel in middle school about an egotistical vampire who runs away from a bunch of dudes in cloaks, explodes several times, and then fights them in an explosive cornfield, where he then discovers that he is part of a grand multiverse, prompting the hooded people to send an army of bugs after them. The bugs win.
I need this
Why does this sound like a fucking amazing, self-aware satire story lol
If this were a full novel I would hope it just ended on "The bugs win" without any sort of elaboration on the battle itself.
can you publisg this
This feels like a novel I read in middle school. Written by an actual professional writer.
There are way too many of those. Young Adult and Pre-teen novels are kind of bloated and don't give people at that age justice in what they can grasp about life.
So a lot of it is just publishers pushing hard-fan fics (usually people that already have a following on some internet forums).
But when you look at good Young Adult fiction, it's usually novels that deal with hard topics from a teenager's mind: S.E. Hinton's 'The Outsiders' and Eiie Wiesel's 'Night' Come to mind. Even older novels like "Old Yeller" or the French classic "The Little Prince" deals with hard themes that some kids already experience in their personal lives but don't have the words to express it yet.
Oh my god, I hope someone actually writes a whole novel in this style - parodying middle school writing styles. I would unironically love to read it through.
Every middle schoolers write stories in different ways idk how parody could work
It would be actually really badass, if this somebody didn't just do simple parody, but write like a deconstruction of teenagers' psychological and existential status, all based in the universe of middle school novel tropes. Like, knowing how to use the tropes to squeeze meta narration out of it, not just making a joke of its absolute badness.
@@cothinker680 Well clearly from the reception of this video, there's a pattern of writing that middle schoolers tend to aim for. At least middle schoolers of the last 15 years of grim-dark, dystopian, gray, katniss-esque landscape of YA fantasy and Sci-fi literature.
@@cothinker680 man, you're literally writing this comment under an outstandingly good parody of the middle-schoolers' novels. Teens tend to write stories with lots of emotions, inner dialogues, mystery, fantasy and drama. Nothing wrong with it but they kinda misplace it due to the lack of experience. IDK why but that's what you like when you're a teen😅
Not exactly a parody (to my knowledge), but there IS a whole novel similar to this style, it's a Harry Potter fanfiction called My Immortal
Yep, every story I tried to write as a kid always started out with the main character at school, in class, studying whatever my actual teacher happened to be talking about at the moment before the inevitable world-ending stakes and dark-haired love-interest were established, but I never had the attention span to work on a story for more than like one period so ultimately now I just have this collection of over-long, painfully mundane scenes of various every-kids taking all of the exact classes I took growing up. I didn’t know it at the time but I was pretty much just keeping the world’s most pretentious middle school diary
Why only dark haired love interests?
@@sehrish1837 because I took myself so seriously at the time I would mistake my personal preferences for objective beauty standards lol
Love how you italicised "The Seekers" and "Veronica" to show that those will be important plot lines moving forward
the seekers will probably come from "sector 1" as it is hunger games clone, and they will serve _The Capital_ while for some reason never making any attempts at a coup d'etat when the government is shown to be incompetent and detached
Veronica will not be important because she's dead, it should have been me though, but they got to her first, my emotions are like a noose of love around my neck, but with rope instead, the rope burn while it gets tighter around my neck made me feel like a cuddle.... Of love
if this is a part of an actual novel you wrote in middle school I want you to release the whole thing.
I will literally go broke to the point of destitute and penniless, I will literally sacrifice weeks of eating to be able to afford whatever this will cost.
That would require the whole thing actually existing. Let's be real, this is the book we wrote one and a half chapters of and left unfinished halfway through a sentence.
@@billyalarie929damn
Please make this a series with EVERY chapter. I’m unironically invested.
"Hard to believe they were after me. Me- an average, run-of-the-mill, six-foot tall seventh-grader with a background in physics, dead languages, medical-engineering, and theology; who was there because i skipped fifth and sixth grade....after being told i was too mature for third and fourth grade."
“Who’s also 7”
dean koontz books (without the 6 foot)
In that situation I found it ironic, and I was so distracted I didn't notice the water going into my deep blue eyes. Veronica used to always tell me how pretty my eyes are, and how handsome I am, but everybody else thought I looked ugly. I arrived at the Tree of Souls, and I spoke in Yytivrian in order to unlock the mysterious, blue, glowing portal that the Old Man in Yogsdale told me about. I don't know how, but I knew that the Seekers were close, and I felt my heart beating faster and more intensely.
Time seemed to slow down as I went through the portal, an air cold as ice going across my body, my hairs standing on end. They were right behind me, I could feel their terrifying presence. I remembered Veronica and, in the nick of time, that gave me the boost of adrenaline in order to go fully through the portal just before it closed. I heard a shriek, which immediately stopped. Now, I was safe.
Except now I was in the Seekers' lair, where they killed Veronica.
But now I have the One Orb, and I'm ready.
@@plumjet09 "I walked to school, uphill, both ways, on one leg! My other leg was starting a business."
@@kantraa I get that reference, I too use words.
You can always tell the age of an author by the homework problems they use in their writings lol especialyyyy in fanfiction
Me, a fanfic writer, in a variety of grade-level classes: _you underestimate my power_
Oftentimes the complete tech illiteracy of actual, paid movie writers hurts my soul.
@@firstNamelastName-ho6lv my favourite thing is when they made an entire movie out of the myth that humans only use 10% of their brain
@@lmaolol6337 Oooof! What movie is that?
@@firstNamelastName-ho6lv Lucy (2014)
Thanks for forcibly reminding me of the self-insert Harry Potter fanfic (during James Potter's era) I wrote as a 14 year old where me and 14 year old Sirius Black made out in a forest after a fictional massacre at Hogsmeade lead by my fictional insane brother.
Published on the internet.
And will never go away.
Even when I die.
Show it to me. For research purposes.
link it
i need to see thia
Send the link don't be shy
Thank god, all my fanfics has gone with the death of Ucoz servers xD
That escalated quickly. Goes from being a kind-of-badly written but passable, to fucking insane info dump out of nowhere.
Rip Veronica. Gone too soon. It should have been him.
See, when I was in middle school, I just wrote the unhinged tales of a mute 20-something kleptomaniac being teleported to a dimension of madness and working as an assistant to an insane wizard that sent him into a forest of sentient cow trees that tried to eat him. To this day the Tales of Bavoria haunt my every waking moment; it was truly my greatest accomplishment, and every moment since has been little more than a shadow of my lost days of glory.
post 🤲
dude that's fucking fantastic
Holy crap thats sounds amazing
I genuinely want to read this
Holy heck that's great.
“I was wearing a black leather jacket like in blade but a little bit shorter with cool denim jeans and boots, but I could still run pretty fast in them. My friend Steven was with me, he was my second coolest friend in the group. Cool but not as cool as Xander.”
"Xander was a tall, lean-mean kid, with a long, piercing scar running across his jaw; an emblem as to how dedicated he was. Dedicated to what, you'd ask? Immediately, you'd be met by a cold dead stare. Then unto you, Daniel would solemnly utter the words:
"Many moons ago...""
Not enough description about the colours of Steven and Xander’s orbs.
@@anerrorhasoccurred8727 Oh yeah sorry. They were so blue… that they were silver.
I love how 'My Immortal' this sounds 😂
@@microdavid7098 Sounds like a Stephen King novel lol
I wrote this one in 5th. Winged, a story about a girl who supposed to have wings but doesn’t. Her ancestors were created in a lab in 2040. They escaped from the scientist’s, making their own secret society. Jane Whitewall ran away when the scientist’s found them, their weapons bigger than ever. She’s on a mission to save her parents, brother, and everyone else. Along the way she meets some new friends, one of which she may or may not have a crush on. This story is first person, written by Anne Onimouse and Sue Denim, dedicated to Nom D. Ploom. Ahh, one of my most cringe stories.
I can tell you were probably a fan of Maximum Ride.
Ah, yes. I wrote a fantasy ”novel” when I started middle school, twenty years ago.
It was about a young charismatic man with a dark past. He was also tall (obviously). The guy has been with me ever since in the form of my username, true pal
Man that present tense really hits you in the teeth
But present tense is always better!
I typically prefer present to past tbh lol
It takes a REALLY talented author to pull off present tense, and of course that's what they tell you to do in middle school because it's the "easiest"
“I jump across the creek, then scurry down a slippery hill, jumping” has the same vibe of “I sighed as the elevator began to shake, vibrating with motion.”
I'm just picturing a video game character hopping down the hill to increase his speed because there's no run button.
This is the most accurate thing you've ever made holy fuck
You can tell this was written on a tuesday during Mrs. Jackson's 4th hour geometry class.
That's one advantage of extreme procrastination, you never write cringe to look back on
That's not an advantage
Because you never write
@@Inanedata -I do a little, but I rarely finish anything substantial-
Why are you people on this video if you don't get jokes
@@Hedgpig Glad you never wrote anything🤢
@@user-vi4xy1jw7e You're going to look back at this comment in a decade and cringe
The way the main character is being chased by the concept of society itself really speaks to me at a spiritual level.
Stunning and brave
Why is that making me imagine a literal city just growing legs and going after some random guy
That is literally the plot of Mortal Engines lol
I don't remember ever selling you the rights to adapt MY unfinished best seller's first chapter : *HURRY, JAKE*
"And then I woke up. It was all a dream"
"Or was it?"
*VSauce background music*
The internal monologue suddenly shifting into lore exposition was too real
Sometimes I envy the confidence over my craft I had as a kid.
bold of you to assume I could write even this well in middle school.
I had a Wattpad story I wrote when I was 10. *The friend group in this story was called “The Meow Squad”. I wanna die.*
Wait why am I finding you here- hello
Is it still up?
@@giantpinkcat - Lord no, I deleted it lol. If I didn’t I’d gladly show it to you.
You're giving me too much credit, this is what I used to write in high school
same lmao
I wrote about a purple cat with a top hat who was a god of chaos (He also constantly broke the fourth wall)
@@Celestial914 bruh just accidentally made the Cheshire cat
@@coolgamer7999I accidentally created the whole dwarf race without even knowing they existed(short people who live underground and create magical things).
I was just inspired by Leo Valdez from the Percy Jackson series.
Only things missing are the forced love triangle and the protagonists best friend who turns out to be a society spy.
a society spy LMFAO
ACCURATE, I used to make my best friends write down their favourite powers just so I could make them “the best Fire/Water/Dragon Mage in the 7 kingdoms” 😭
@@anerrorhasoccurred8727ah yes my favourite element, _dragon_
@@anerrorhasoccurred8727Me who showed up with a period table (I can bend all 118 elements (only like 65 or so are useful))
I feel viscerally called out.
So all blame goes to Mrs. Jackson's 4th hour geometry class...
*The end*
it's like a really edgy way of doing that whole record scratch, freeze frame "yeah, that's me, you're probably wondering how I got myself into this crazy situation" type thing
Ah yes, nothing like the feeling of a big wet towel made of water wetting my face. Truly touching words.
My middle school novel was 32 pages long.
double spaced.
Idk why but ''double spaced'' actually made me laugh out loud.
My middle school novel was 783 pages long (I fell asleep on the enter key)
hey, if you're watching this and thinking this sounds like your writing, DONT get discouraged, and DONT quit. it's only funny because it reveals a lack of experience, experience you will gain through practice. writing like this shows creativity and enough patience to write in the first place, and a lot of very famous novels are just evolutions of these basic tropes. keep writing!!! never give up!!!
I don't remember who said it but someone on Tiktok made a comment about how in order to be "cool" at something you have to allow yourself to be "cringy" first. It really resonated with me as while I don't consider myself to be some blessed, show-stopping, prestigious wordsmith, I can definetly relate to the "climbing cringe mountain" mantra. Looking back, I'm grateful I made all those mistakes because I can now come from a place of understanding when I'm helping my students identify/fix them.
If this had 25 more comma splices, some elves, dragons, and a dream sequence, it would be my entire middle school writing career man. The ellipses. Oh, the accursed ellipses...
Now, as a follow-up you have to actually dig up some of your old writing and read it on camera. I triple dog dare you. I quadruple dog dare you. You basically have to now. That's as high as dog dares get.
Ah, good ol' comma splices. The one grammar error I can't seem to get away from
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts when you put, a comma where it shouldn’t be in a sentence
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts i, kno,w ,,, ri,g,h,,t,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A fantasy novel I was going to write had a dream sequence in the beginning that spoiled the ending. I was going to finish it, but never did. It also no longer exists, since every accessible form of it is gone thanks to me.
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts eh, I think I’ve improved enough where I feel confident my writing won’t be shit. One thing I’m going to learn is that not everything should be 100% taken seriously in a story
As someone who's written a "Quirky" novel before, this is so accurate on a whole new level.
The unnecessarily descriptive writing style made me feel physical pain
Please post a link to your novel so we can laugh
Pretty close to my middle school writings...the only thing is it missing is X-Men cameos.
Which members cameoed?
@@calowenby1654 a lot of magik and night crawler. But I found one recently that began “8:56 pm Xmansion “ and went on talk about cyclops yelling at jubilee to turn her music down 😆
@@mintghost Lol that's great
Middle school was the only time I was able to finish books, because back then it didn’t matter if it was cringy, we were just having fun. I wish I could go back to that
I remember back in primary school when the teacher told us to write a story about someone surviving a tsunami. So I wrote this guy writing a fucking suicide note about losing his family and all that and at the end, I un ironically wrote "The person who wrote this letter died".
After that, the teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if anything was going on with my life personally I was completely oblivious to her questions and the weight of what I had written I just thought it would make it more " deep"💀.
I'm in tenth grade and I just submitted a 5 - page story about a wolf murdering children and selling their meat to a cannibalistic witch, who just straight up chokes in the meat, which prompts the ending where the wolf gets arrested for his involvement in the dead of the witch because I wanted him to get arrested.
She just asked to write a fairy tale.
@@matthiasdiallo538 That actually sounds cool lol
@@matthiasdiallo538 little red riding hood after hours.
Children surprise me everyday by how tone deaf they can be.
I mean, was the teacher really expecting a lighthearted story with that prompt? lol.
One of the most embarrassing moments in my life was when I was in 6th grade I told my family I was writing a story and they made my uncle stay an extra two hours for me to read it to them. The look on his face made me give up being an author.
What did you write about?
You should go back to writing. I’m pretty sure that most writers produced bad writing when they were starting out.
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts press x to doubt
Well that's a little mean of your family.
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts nah mate, you're on your own of you haven't realized how bad your writing was back in the day yet
teacher tells you to add descriptive detail, so you had big wet towels made of water
The "why? They're after me" bit has been stuck in my head for months now. Completely forgot it was preceded by the amazing jumping lines.
I teach novel-writing to 4th- 6th graders and I am ASTOUNDED at the level of accuracy here
So this is all your fault then?
“Tears gallop down my cheeks” is definitely something I would have written.😂
This actually isn't all that bad. Definitely sounds like the beginning of a book you'd find in the young adult section lol
Wow, that was intense, man! I had tears galloping down my face the whole way through 😢
I remember a girl in my class writing the beginning of this text. The character was running in a dark forest being hunted by something and she was covered in ’bodily fluids’. 😂
That's actually a pretty compelling opening, you can get a lot of mileage of out bodily fluids.
@@_Ciaran_Maher Was it blood? Sweat? Tears? Something else entirely?
@@unsightedmetal6857 probably all. That's why they used this general term. I would do this at least. And be really proud of my creativity and innovativeness
I think she was naked and fell down a hole or something it was open ended and gave no clues to how she got there. I think it was meant to be a metaphor🤔
@@unsightedmetal6857 ;)))
As a middle schooler writing a novel, this is a really convenient "what not to do" guide
Honestly, you are in the middle school, you are allowed to write however you like! Don't let that get to you!
Just focus on enjoying yourself and finding a “style” you like. Also get into the habit of planning your story first! Improvement will come naturally.
(Oh and contrary to what your teachers say, “said” and “asked” are perfectly fine.)
Yeah don’t let the fear of being cringe hold you back from writing. All this practice and experience now will make you a much stronger writer later!
Man! Everyone has one of these, so clearly it's more of a "What to start with and improve on."
@@zenithquasar9623 True but I think it’s good to figure it out preemptively. It’s like learning from criticism in a way. Different than feeling bad about yourself or your writing. If anything, I think this will give them a head start and that they have the right idea.
I also wrote a story about an orb when I was 14. Why are orbs so powerful.
I wrote a story about a very bad detective trying to discover who was licking old men at night, who turned out to be a purple slug, member of a cult, who made it very obvious he was the licker, but the detective was too stupid to realize it sooner. It probably wasn't good, but at least the premise was...
Pshh if only my writing had that level of passion. My stuff was like: “It was raining. I was sad. My dog died. I played games all day to feel better, and I did even though i was still sad. I’ll get another dog and maybe be happy again. It’ll probably die too, but whatever.”
Sounds more like a journal entry
I feel like this writing style would be perfect for a jaded or cynical character who's just given up on life.
Sounds like the average 1984/half life citizen
@@zabbee2323 I was thinking the last part sort of reminded me of something Max Payne might say.
@@0therW1z”Sometimes I dream about cheese”
I was so damn certain I was writing the next big hit since Harry Potter.
The dramatic one word sentences are so accurate.
I'm watching this on the anniversary of the day that four years ago, my middle school self decided to write a novel. Four years later, I'm still at it.
Mrs. Jackson's 4th hour geometry class was only the beginning. You see, it all started long ago, back in Mrs. Pierce's 3rd hour algebra class...
What about Mr. Sandoval’s 2nd hour Social Studies class?
Or Mr. Baker's 1st hour history class
or even ms. walker's homeroom
"Maybe I should start when all the pain truly began. The moment I was born."
I wish I wrote a novel myself :( I think even if your novel turns out to be bad it's still an accomplishment that you wrote it in the first place and you all should not forget that!
These kinds of novels usually stop at chapter one
I’m not saying this video exceeds “POV you’re watching a 2005 action comedy trailer (parents aren’t divorced yet),” but damn, it’s in the same caliber
Wait are you saying I wasn't the only self-loathing deep-thinking misunderstood tortured genius 13 year old??
I feel like I re-read every mediocre young adult book I’ve ever read between 5-10th grade