I am a hypocrite: still addicted to video games
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- I'm coming clean, I am back to feeling like I am addicted to video games since the FF14 expansion pack released at the end of June as I haven't gotten much done since then. I haven't been too happy with myself lately. I am trying to figure out ways to get out of it to make better use of my time, but the pull is strong.
This footage was intended to be in my unlisted public videos that I use to think about content creation, but I decided to list it instead. It explains why I have been kind of MIA since completing the 31 day challenge.
Referenced in the video:
I was addicted to video games: • I was addicted to vide...
#videogameaddict
I am an avid gamer, but I have one strict rule: I never play online games; I stick exclusively to single-player offline games (on easy mode). The ability to pause is invaluable, as it helps me balance gaming with work and family life. Rather than quitting gaming altogether, I suggest considering a switch to game types that offer more flexibility and fit better with your lifestyle.
I only had Nintendo handhelds for about a decade, and it really helped me play like this. I was able to just play at weekends in 3 hour spurts and pretty much leave it during the week. Was good
Now I've gotten into PC games though. God help me, lol! I do want to dabble a bit in those more grindy games, but have a feeling I'll be coming back to the more pick up and play games
That's a really good rule to stick too. Honestly it's almost always the people that draw me into games and get me staying there. If I'm playing a single player, it's so easy to one-and-done it for me at my own pace.
@@AnnAgainAgain No sereously, some people find this solution naturally, but its been proven MMOs or generally any online multiplayer platform online games, have a general addition of dopamain rush for engagement. I took this route myself, but I studied psychology, woke up hours early and late to play games. After which I gradually weaned it off. Though not an urge, I most recently played the pixel remasters on my phone, and deleted them when I was done. Actually on a road to stop smart phone all together. But I absolutely do not go anywhere near their mmo equivalent games despite my love for the series, just watch the narrative on youtube which is what I was really interested in. Finally I bought a kindle and got into the Terry Pratchet series Diskworrld. Re engaging with lost or finding new hobbies really helps. Where I love the consumptions, I then tell myself, to strive to create them myself. Which can actually build real experience not game experience. Deleting a save file or the game entirely reminds you it's all just moot and not something to bring long term satisfaction, after pumping in all those hours.
@@AnnAgainAgain I feel the same. I can definitely get sucked into single player games, but they are easier to stop than multiplayer games. And of course I never touch MMOs. My ex lost her job because she was playing Final Fantasy 14 instead of working, basically proving my rule correct.
I love single player games, I really do. There are things in single player games that will never be possible in online games. However, there is also a ton of things that can only be experienced in online games that can't be experienced in a single player game. OP mentions peer pressure and that's definitely one of them but so is the satisfaction of completing tasks that can only be completed in groups.
If you find a sociable, like minded group of people to play with there's nothing quite like the satisfaction of grouping with friends to take down a difficult boss, or beat a dungeon together.
Videogames are currently at the top of the entertainment list right now, but I don't recall hearing anyone talking about "TV Addiction" when people were watching hundreds of thousands of hours of TV in the last 4 decades. If you love playing video games, I don't see why that's a problem unless it's having some other destabilizing effect on your life (failing to pay rent/mortgage, failing to pay for grociers, etc).
Oh and Final Fantasy XIV is an online RPG. You may not be able to pause the game, but it's real easy to leave your character next to a tree in the forest and step away for 20-30 mins then come back.
Im 34 and im definitely addicted to video games. I recognize that, but usually ill do a dungeon in FFXIV and then feed the cats. Another dungeon and then start a load of laundry. Sometimes ill even craft and just click my macro and walk away to brush my teeth or something then come back, hit another macro and walk away again.
Those little things help me not feel so bad about falling behind in chores or general life things
I have been known to park my butt on the chair for hours on end. Chores in between sound like a great idea! I'll try that next time. Thanks!
this won't work i tried this but give it a try.. notice how he said he's still addicted
maybe you should look into why people draw you back in? might be deeper than video games
Ann, I realised a long time ago that MMORPGs in particular are designed to take over your life with no end in sight. I think you know this as well. The solution I found, without giving up games completely, is to play things with a clearly defined beginning, middle, and end. That's how a book works. That's how a movie works. And once it's done, you can put it down and walk away. The trouble comes with MMORPGs and always-online games that literally never end. OR were all your friends also playing until 6 am with you? Have you talked with your friends about any other activities you can do together?
I actually studied gamification in the workplace as my masters thesis so I know all too well how it's engineered to get us addicted. I'm trying to get some groups of the friends close by to hangout IRL and it does help.
@@AnnAgainAgain I guess my point is it's not all games that are bad but specifically MMORPGs (in my opinion).
@@haywoco2 like drugs it depends on the personality and childhood trauma imo.
I always found MMOs to drip feed me dopamine like opiates; whereas shooters were more like stimulants.
FFXIV does this the least.
@@bannedmann4469 I played MMOs for years, first it was WoW, and then Guild Wars 2. They're all designed to keep you hooked.
Ups and downs are typical. What matters is your persistence. Keep it up
Will do, thanks for commenting!
I really appreciate the realness and authenticity of this video.
Thank you!
I was in the same spot when DT launched where I was binging the story so I wouldn’t get spoiled. What helped me recover and fix my sleep schedule was basically replacing xiv with something fun and rewarding I could only do in the daytime like playing pokemon go while going for a walk. Since one of my goals is to get in better shape this year I consider it one of my daily quests and feels productive.
Hope I could help!
Yeah the last time I got really hooked into FF14, I finally got out of it by obsessing over learning how to code. It paid off since I work as a software engineer now. I'm still trying to find the thing that gets me away from it again, but it's kind of different every time. My BIL is obsessed with pokemon go lol maybe I will join him
@@AnnAgainAgain That’s really cool! I admire the fact that you were able to turn your obsession into a career that’s amazing.
@@AnnAgainAgain cool, how long did it took you to learn and get your 1st job?
Nothing wrong with video games in healthy doses and moderation. For some it's a hobby, for some it's a true addiction if you can't function without it. I'm an orchestra teacher for middle and high school, I play professionally in orchestras, and I compose. My biggest reason for studying music at the conservatory level was because of the music of Final Fantasy X. I remember watching my cousin play FFX and I simply asked him to pause the game because the music was so good. From there, I began to experiment with music theory and composition. So by my senior year in high school, I was in band, orchestra and chorus. I easily made a 5 on both sections of the AP Music Theory exam. Even got a perfect score on the Aural section.
So my joy or video game music, along with classical and movie soundtrack, is passed onto my students. The composer Richard Wagner had a concept called the "Gesamtkunstwerk" or total art work. He believed art was at its highest form when you have a complete synthesis of the arts in music, drama, literature, visual, etc. And Wagner created some of the most incredible works of art in his music drama/operas like the Ring Cycle, Flying Dutchman, Parsifal, etc.
I think video games are the highest form of art. I'm currently playing Trails Through Daybreak, I'm a huge Trails fan btw. But in these games you have a full synthesis of all forms of visual and performing arts. However, video games how one thing that trumps over movies/tv that have the same full synthesis of the arts. Video games are interactive, you the player control the outcome. You can't say that about a movie, a painting, a novel, etc. Nothing wrong with enjoying art.
So I wouldn't call myself an addict, but it's definitely my favorite hobby after running. I ran track & field through middle and high school, now I run 5ks to marathons. That's how I detox from too much gaming. It's all about balance, moderation, and being responsible to support that hobby and a healthy lifestyle. Definitely find time to detox and take a gaming sabbatical.
Totally agree, it's when it gets to that unhealthy stage I start feeling like I'm spiraling, but I have a really hard time stopping myself. I also agree with it being the highest form of art (I am biased though!). Very cool to hear about the additional joys you got from it. FF music is pretty amazing
Wow, this video popped up for me at the right time. I recently finished Dawntrail not too long ago I’m currently taking a break from video games right now. But take your time and don’t beat yourself up!
I had that same feeling going through shadowbringers but something told me to quit and I did lol. Still play games but not mmos anymore.
Thanks for the kind comment! I'm trying to give myself some grace!
@dougyfreshgames Lucky you listened to that voice!
This is crazy on the timing. I haven't really talked about this on my channel personally, but around the same time as you, I've gotten back into playing Minecraft with my friends. We started another Realms server and I've just been on that game 24/7. Grinding to get the best armor, building my house, blah blah blah. Like you, it's kind of dying down in a way, but I'm still spending a little bit of time each day on that server and I've already wasted more than enough time where I could've been productive. Now, I'm just on the Discord with my friends while I'm doing my own thing, trying to catch up on the lost time, but the damage has already been done lolol. We can't beat up ourselves too much on what already has happened. We just gotta focus on what we can do now.
Literally after I posted the video (on Friday), I pretty much logged on and did a shitton of crafting and started grinding that. Ughhh. I am trying to get it out of my system in July and then become more disciplined once Aug starts. It's slowly starting to improve, I think as more of my friends play less and less.
Thank you for sharing your experience. In my case, my building caught on fire so I couldn't access any gaming device for a few weeks. This extreme situation helped me so much. Some people, like me, need a radical solution to get out of the mud.
I don't know if I will turn on the gaming PC again, but even if I do, I don't feel the same urge as I did before. I had no choice but be outside, travelling with my girlfriend, and do everyday chores like cooking etc. I think the struggle is to be able to get back to a sense of strong, palpable connection to ''reality''.
Also, living alone is the worse thing for someone who is susceptible to addiction. Having an external eye to check on your own behaviors helps a lot to set boundaries. We are not all disciplined or strong enough to stay reasonable.
I know people will comment about how wonderful video games are; but don't forget that it's an industry that plays with our brain to make us entertained and has nothing to do with art that elevates you as a human being. It's like a very luxurious, seductive, casino machine, decorated by great artists. Making Picasso draw on a set of cards doesn't make the set of cards a work of art, they are still cards with which you could eventually gamble all your money...
Sorry it's way too long ! I wish you good luck on your journey !
Also, this video might help ( it does for me from time to time ) :
czcams.com/video/V-LBQw_EdUs/video.html
I know how you feel. Used to put hundreds of hours into league. Don't play video games anymore but CZcams videos fitting that need.
I learned this and this isn't meant to be applying to you. We usually have something traumatic or painful we are avoiding when we do these over indulgent behaviours. Our parents generation would be alcoholics to deal with these issues
I hear you. I think I have been frustrated lately with the content creation stuff for a long time (not exactly trauma, but deals with the ego) and I am running away from my problems again. The aggravating thing is that I know I am running away but I am still doing it, ughhh
You are brave for talking about this. I have felt this addictive behavior for other things that similarly completely robbed me of free time on holidays, and sleep. It’s very relatable and good to know we are working on this together.
Best of luck to us!
hii thank you for being so vulnerable with us :)) a part of recovery from addiction is going thru the ups and downs of being on binges or off them, so I know it's rlly hard to not be upset at yourself but I hope u can be kind and forgiving of yourself in order to keep trying :) - I have been trying to not smoke this month of July, as that's been a bad habit that I've had very little control over for a while .. I have fumbled for a day so far, and I wanted to be upset, but I was able to get back on the horse and keep riding, and watching this right now really reminded and encouraged me that I can make it and I can get to my goals if I'm kind to myself. Thank you so much for your honesty rlly, I needed to hear it today
Thanks for your comment 🥲 I am trying to give myself some grace and let myself go nuts w/ limited restrictions in July and will attempt to be more disciplined in August
After watching this, I checked out the previous video that you mentioned. It does sound a lot like my experience with MMORPGs.
I've been playing WoW since I was 11, and now I'm 29. I used it as a way to achieve something that I didn't feel like I was able to do in real life. I managed to get every single achievement in the game and collecting 99% of everything there is to collect. There have been articles written about it. The first time I did it was in 2018, and I'm still going at the top. The void seemingly can not be satisfied.
Since a bit over a year ago, I started working full time and then transitioned into studying computer game development at university. I also managed to "overcome" my addiction and kept my playing to a minimum while focusing on studies or work. The first year has gone very well.
Now, during summer break, I wanted to continue with personal game projects, but instead, I've been catching up on gaming. A big portion of that has been in FFXIV. The last time I played was at the end of Shadowbringers.
Even though I had a lot of fun making games, it's just much easier to play them. I've noticed that there's a limit to how productive I can be when it comes to things that can actually improve my life.
In games, there's almost no limit. If you can call "working towards goals" in a game as "being productive."
The things you mentioned that you enjoy more than gaming all are "productive" type activities. Even though you might want to do these things, you need to be realistic about your limitations and afford yourself some time for some low stakes pass times.
You don't need to choose between one and the other. The only thing you need to work on is the length of the play-sessions.
I have difficulties with that as well, so I'm not saying it's an easy task. It's something I try to work on as well.
You're definitely not alone in this.
If you really want to quit gaming altogether, I think you need to find a different hobby to take its place. Something that doesn't require a lot of effort and that doesn't have the possibility of failing, such as trying to get a successful CZcams channel, for instance.
I haven't, so I don't really have anything else to do if I'm not gaming, so that's what I default back to.
This might all be horrible advice, so take it with a grain of salt and do what feels best for you.
Thank you for your really thoughtful comment! Amazing how you turned your gaming into a career in game dev. Yeah I don't think I want to cut off gaming entirely, but I do want to explore why some times (like now) I get full on addicted degen and why other times (there have been previous expansions) where I am just meh. Just gotta get to know myself better.
There have been many times I promise myself I'll work on a creative project but then end up filling that time with video games instead and it's definitely a frustrating internal struggle. I often am left feeling annoyed at what I could have made in that time. I think it's important to allow yourself to escape every once in a while though, even if that means just playing a bunch of video games with friends for a bit.
I do agree, its fine to play once in a while, in moderation. I kind of got carried away AF, but things are getting better.
The one thing about mmos I realized long ago is that it's not hanging out with friends. It's pure utter garbage. Everyone is just online playing for themselves and barely talk at all especially when you play slowly. These are not friends I want in my life.
Maybe its because I am in my early 40s and so are my friends who have kids and or live in different states. They started as IRL friends first before moving to mostly digital at this point. This is about the only time almost everyone is motivated enough to get into one place at a time outside of weddings and we do mostly chat and catch up with each other while doing our own thing (FF14 is very story driven). We'd team for stuff, but it's the hanging out, even if it is just digital. I do blame my intense reaction to this on that epidemic of loneliness everyone keeps talking about.
Video game addiction is hard, I hope you can find your balance soon.
Recently I have been outside a lot more but thats due to me not really enjoying games as much now; I do miss gaming but I don't feel the passion for gaming anymore.
Thanks KhunShawn, i do feel the balance is coming, mostly because work stuff has ramped up (not sure if that's a good or bad thing). I do feel like I should join some local sports league or something just to get out of the house, so going outside is a great idea
Hey, so here’s the thing about being productive: it’s all about you. If you want to hustle and get things done, that’s your call. You’re the one who decides if you’re gonna feel good about it or not. Don’t get caught up in doing it just to get a pat on the back from other people. Their approval? It’s fleeting and doesn’t define your worth or success.
Look, being focused and driven is awesome, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But remember, at the end of the day, the world will keep spinning with or without your efforts. Progress will march on regardless of your involvement. And here’s a sobering thought: in a few generations, you and I will be completely forgotten. It sounds harsh, but it’s kinda freeing if you think about it.
So, be productive because it makes you happy, because it fulfills you, not because you want someone else to validate you. Your life is yours to live, and your achievements are for you to cherish. Do what makes you feel accomplished and satisfied, and let go of the need for external approval. It’s your journey, and you get to define it.
Let go of the need for external approval? Impossible for women from my observations - and the need grows as they get older. After survival, approval is the driving force for women. For men, it is survival then motivation...
Honestly, I'm looking for my own approval than from anyone else and right now I am not happy with myself at this level of gaming because other plans I had in motion are entirely waylaid. Being public about it has helped with the accountability and I really appreciate hearing from other folks who struggle with the same thing so it doesn't feel like I am alone. But approval from others is the last thing I'm looking for lol. I'd be wearing makeup and stuff and would not actually be my authentic self otherwise. No thanks.
But there's def something to said about ones fixation on productivity though. Something for me to mull over.
If your life is balanced and healthy, you have no reason to worry about spending a lot of time on your hobbies. It's healthy and important to be happy. Anything that makes you happy is never a waste of time. We'll all die shortly and never exist again, just enjoy the ride.
Thanks a great way to live life
I limited myself to strictly STORY for FF14 no Raids, Extremes, and Ultimates. This dang game nearly ruined me and I learned my lesson, I still love it to the bone but I must limit myself or else I won't be able to stop.
Yeah I've decided to only do normal raids, no savage/ex so that's helped. Part of it was bc not enough friends were able to and I wasn't about to prog with randos. Thank goodness
great that you are honest with yourselves and others. Playing hours of games has become normalcy for people including myself. You said it. You can't be happy with yourself that way. In fact, I did a pros and cons list of keeping my gaming computer. No pros, but i've been struggling to sell it because of some FOMO feeling
Yo, that FOMO is HARD! It's rough for me because this is like the only time outside of weddings that all my friends are hanging out together (at least digitally).
This is a fantastic video! Subscribed. I dont experience any type of addiction whatsoever including video games. I can literally spend 12 hrs playing a video game one day(like a saturday) and go the next 2 months not touching a game at all. It could be I have so many other hobbies and responsibilities or I dont have strong attachments outside of gaming.
Good on you! I know myself well and I know I have a problem with moderation. I am kind of jealous lol.
@@AnnAgainAgain You can do it! Just take it one day at a time. Addictions take time to overcome! I had a food addiction resulting in obesity and I lost the weight. Its all psychological, discipline, and willpower.
Dont beat yourself up over loving something, better to be addicted to video games then something worse. To be honest it’s good when i hear that someone can be addicted to something because all you have to do is guide the light of addiction and put it on something different. The same thing that makes your mind tick and hyperfixate can be placed onto something else for me it was programming, it started with being addicted to factorio. Good luck.
Yep it definitely could be worse! I feel like the obsession is lessening a whole lot, funny enough, because of work stuff, so I am getting there! Thanks for your comment
our brain wants the comfy path, but the hard path will allow us to grow
Agree 100%
The way I got out of 5 years of WoW was to see that after an expansion hits, its just a reset. So back to grinding indefinitely until next reset. Designed to keep you in this loop of wasting your time and getting money off of it. I can't support or justify caring about mmo's after I realized that.
Yep, after 5 expac with ff14 at this point, it's like clockwork even in how they release the raids and content. Some years are easier than others to ignore. This time around has been really intense and I am not 100% sure why. The annoying thing for me is that I know it's happening and what they're doing but I still get sucked in anyway /sigh
@@AnnAgainAgain What elements of the game are enticing to you? I find that when I get into my binging mode it is because I am looking for elements in a video game that I am not getting in real life. For me I really like challenging cooperative combat. I decided to start playing FFXIV (just hit Endwalker) because of the group cooperative combat, I can't really play sports anymore and I miss the teamwork, strategy, and mechanical skill involved in playing sports.
Also just want to mention I think the most powerful videos regarding beating addiction are from people that still suffer from addiction. You may never get over binging video games, I may not either, but if other aspects of our lives our intact and we live good lives is it so bad that we decide to binge video games for a week. I think you are right that there is a point in going to far, like maybe months of binging lol, but months of binging every 2 years? Especially when everything else is put together? I don't know if that is so bad...
When Wrath of the Lich King released for WoW, my time played increased by 30 days in the span of 3 months. That is the equivalent of sitting down in a chair and playing continuously without any break or sleep for one month. Fortunately, I was able to quit and make a change in my life. I took an extended break from games and even tried to use the computer/internet as little as possible, which is harder to do these days. I feel like that break helped a lot. Changing your routine can change your mind after a while. I still love games and mmos, and I always will, but now I find myself getting bored and restless if I play anything for too long.
I definitely think its the people part of the game that is doing it for me, since this is the only time outside of weddings that I get to hang out with my friends (digitally). Although I think I am the one who takes it the most extreme. I still have the gaming computer on and am checking the marketboard occasionally during work hours.. ughhhhh. Glad you got away from it. I do agree. This increasingly digital world makes it so hard
@@AnnAgainAgain Well, at least you are still maintaining your relationships, so that part is good :)
Videogames can be a healthy hobby, just needs a good mentality. Also, there is nothing wrong in binging once in a while.
And also, it is far more damaging to punish yourself for doing something you enjoy.
Just set a limit and schedule to your gaming and have fun with Dawntrail (the new raid is fire 🔥)
I do agree. But sometimes I suck at boundaries for myself (like now). I am trying to be better for future me, but right now the desire is really strong!
I am thinking once I get geared out for my main from the new raid (no savage), I think I will feel like I "beat" it and things will taper down. It also helps that more of my friends have toned down their frequency as well
not in my experience
Games are incredible, way better than movies, phones, tv or social media which can rot ones mind. Genuinely feel bad for people that have never experienced games like Elden Ring, Mass Effect, Witcher 3, Zelda and other classics. I would advise against playing grindy timesink games that lead nowhere like looter shooters, mmo's etc they just eat your time and you are better off moving onto a new game for a fresh experience, easy games can be boring too so keep the mind stimulated with a healthy challenge :)
This is great video!! I'm glad it popped up in my feed.
As a FFXIV player myself, I completely understand that social 'pressure' to play with your friends even though they are literally not pressuring you!😂 I hope you can find that healthy balance between playing and moderation, it clearly brings you joy and is probably not something you should completely quit. I picked up weightlifting after shadowbringers and have moderated myself very well since. But.. I know that s**t feeling of playing until 6AM a little too well lol, especially on expansion release. Please take care!!
Aww thank you for your comment! Things are getting better!
I don't mean to enable, but sometimes it is a good idea to plan around game releases. When FF7: Rebirth came out I knew I was going to want to play it a lot, so I made the goal to enjoy it thoroughly and still manage my life. After almost a month I was done with the game and I moved on and I don't game as much normally. I think if I kept up that intensity then it might be a bad thing.
Yeah I feel like I missed the boat there. I used to plan around releases but this time I thought I wasn't going to give in and I feel like I am kind of paying for it by not planning ahead like I normally do. Lesson learned
I too am a FF14 player. One way I battle my addiction is to not pay for another sub after the current one ended. That way I for sure can't even log in. Another way is to not pay for sub during the post expansion updates, in this case 7.1, 7.2 etc.. rather just wait for a free login campaign and enjoy the MSQ during that time. And for me the addictiveness of this game comes from the high-end contents (Extreme and Savage raids) so I tend to avoid doing them (even though now I did beat the 2 ex trials ^^')...
Yeah the high end stuff was REALLY BAD because I got all into it and was a no-lifer for 2 years for Stormblood and about 1 year for Shadowbringers. All the prepping and progging was a bit much. Endwalker I didn't do high end raids at all because by then, we were losing more people from the regular group and it became a lot easier to step away because we didn't really want to play with randos. Thankfully this expansion there's really only 1 other person who wants to do high end raiding, so there is zero temptation for me there.
I think the general consensus here for most comments on your video is to take a break from MMORPGS or just move on from them entirely. It is by design that these games have no end because you are entrapped and forced into playing with an online community all the time. You don't feel like there is no end in sight because new updates come out and you get addicted again. You don't need to remove gaming from your life entirely, as it provides a great escapism and is very theoraptic for a lot of us. Plus, lets be honest, the real world is boring and dull. That is why we engage in these types of activities, be it reading books, watching TV, or playing video games, but immerse ourselves in something that has an inherent beginning, middle, and end. That is my rule of thumb, which is why I don't indulge in MMO's anymore. I wasted 8 years of my life on World of Warcraft, and it was fun playing with my friends, but there was SO much more things I could have accomplished in my life for those 8 years, let alone catching up on my backlog of video games just collecting dust.
I wouldn't change a thing, if you enjoy videogames then keep playing. We're all addicted to something
I also want to do other things way more tho. Everything in moderation as they say. Thanks for your comment
Addiction is a lifetime struggle. My dad quit smoking when my little brother was born, and then he picked up smoking again 20 years later. I am also addicted to video game, but I have since learn to limit it. However, it is okay to go full gremlin/degen mode once in a while. So long as you are aware and met your real life responsibilities and obligations, you're fine.
I am meeting most of my life responsibilities which I am very thankful for, but any plans outside of the minimum (interviewing prepping for a new job, doing content creation, managing the house, etc) has gone by the wayside. It is improving a bit day by day though, but I think it helps as more of my friends play less and less as well.
20 hours in a week isn't too too bad. It's good you were able to mainly do it in the evenings and still go to barbeques and that. Some people out there play video games full-time job hours (35+). And I'm not talking people working as QA testers or that. It always surprises me when I go on people's Steam profiles and see '60/70 hours in the past 2 weeks'.
With that said there were weeks recently where I was doing about 20 hours in Palworld. Like yourself I was still going out and doing IRL things also. But I still felt icky. Palworld is structured much like an MMO
Funnily I do have FF14, but luckily just the Trial version for now. Not too invested as of yet
I do agree, it's not too bad. I'm glad I don't have any kids or else they'll probably be neglected. My house is a total mess though. ughh
Yeah I am actually really glad I didn't get into Palworld (I really like the concept!) but I can only manage one game at a time.
@@AnnAgainAgain I have anxiety imaging having a kid. My nieces are always breaking their game consoles - imagining my child doing that to mine doesn't bear thinking about 😭
I've been addicted also, many many times. Most recently last March-November, I played 6-8am and then after work 7-2am. It took a 2 week long Thanksgiving vacation away from home and my PC to break it. When I got home my skill and reaction dropped immensely that I didnt want to junp back in that cycle.
I had some similar experiences a few years ago where being forced away from my computer and gaming was the only thing that did it. I might have to try that again, although I do feel like the addiction is starting to run it's course this time as fewer and fewer of my friends long on for extended gaming
I am other way around. I used to love playing games but now I feel it’s just not as fun. My guess is that I just do not have mental energy after work and don’t find it fulfilling anymore. Now I just buy games and don’t play them
I'm in my early 40s and in the past decade, that's how it has been for me for most other games. Granted even FF14 doesn't feel as fun or fullfilling at the end of the day to me, but I still do it. Idk what it is about FF14 that sucks me in.
Yep I totally know this feeling.
I was pulled into WoW back in early 2005 and played for almost 7 years straight. I played it as if it was my 2nd job. I think what really makes it hard to pull back from were all the people that you eventually became online "friends" with that you quest and do everything in game together. It becomes so immersive that you forget actual reality. Eventually our guild and a lot people that I play with slowly stop playing and thats how my addiction in WoW ended. The great thing about your situation is that you are aware of your problem. My advice would be to just stop playing and take a long break. I'm talking 6 months break or longer. When you do go back to play it, you'll find your interest in the game isnt really there anymore.
Yep it is 100% the people for me. The people bring me back and the game mechanics and the grind keeps me there. I'm finding things are actually improving on my end because my friends are tapering off as well, so I am less inclined to log on, so it's trending up! 👍
I've been playing video games all my life. I don't know how you would be able to operate with just 4 hours I would be too groggy. Perhaps now that I'm older and sitting in front of a computer focused on a game for more than an hour causes literal pain in my neck I'm able to ease off. Good luck. This is the first time watching a woman speaking about video game addiction and I find it fascinating. I wish you luck on your plan on resolving your issue.
Ngl, gaming, particularly raiding has F'd up my wrist. I started investing heavily on ergonomics, which does allow me to play for longer. Now I am wondering if it was a good idea lol. But yeah, there's a lot of women gamers out there! A lot of us are normal people! Most do not choose to be public about it, which I understand (harassment etc.)
I quit ff14 for 1.5 years ago and recently got back again to play dawntrail, finished the story and the 2 new extreme trials. It’s so good, savage raids gonna come out next week. 😂 .
what I do is I give myself goals for the day or week. once i achieve the goals, if i have free time , I use it for gaming. That way I don’t feel guilty about playing video games and still not let video game addiction take over.
I decided to only do normal, so no ex or savage. That's my goal and so far so good! Just slowly leveling alts and crafting (which i do find fun). But limiting myself and defining how I "win" the game like that has really helped with the obsessive gaming
Haha FF14.. I had an issue with FFXI back in the day. I'd skip dentist appointments. I would wake up at 3AM to feed ice crystals to my plants [in game], then go back to sleep. Welp, Good luck!
LOL the planting! Yeah it's a lot better now bc of external factors. Last Thursday was the first day I didn't log in!
by the way, there's a youtuber/doctor who talks about his own experience with video game addiction. His name is Andrew Doan
Thanks for the rec, I will look him up!
Hi, first-time viewer who also deals with videogame addiction. Just wanted to say that I found your passion for self-improvement and accountability very endearing. I'm rooting for you! But don't be too hard on yourself. It's okay to relapse, as long as we learn something from our mistakes and use that information to come up with a better plan. Also, video games are fun in moderation. Anyway didnt mean to sound preachy. Thanks for your video.
Thanks for the comment, not preachy at all! It's true though, everything in moderation!
Honestly I get you want to spend less time gaming and more time doing other stuff your mind considers "more productive" however if you like gaming, why deprive yourself of it? Why break the habit if it's enjoyable? Moderation is key might be in order but I've found bingeing to be more productive long term than consistent moderation. I've recently just finished a Baldurs gate 3 binge where i probably spent two whole weeks completing the game and now I'm back to my regular scheduling of learning to code and doing productive tasks for my career and income. I feel "over" that urge to game and play I feel sated. But I remember back a few years ago when I picked up Divinity sin 2 for the first time(2019) and tried to play moderately and I always found myself wanting and unable to concentrate fully on tasks when I tried to spread my play time between work time. It just didn't work and I probably spent 3 months playing the game intermittently while trying to do work stuff. Career just suffered for 3 months and I feel if I just would of killed the game in 3 weeks I could of just got on my regular stuff again. I take the same approach with diet too. Healthy all week and binge until the point of feeling sick(on a saturday) Much better than having a little sweet treat every day, stuff it all into one day instead. But to break the habit of gaming(and quitting something you truly enjoy) is very depressing, imo.
EDIT - I also just realised your playing an MMORPG, which does throw in a few additional complications. This is why I stick to single player RPGS instead. I've had my fair share of MMOs too with the likes of Lineage2( I was addicted) and a text based game called Omerta but I did manage to prevent myself being absorbed into MMORPG games since then and have only playing single player since.
Yeah MMORPG === FOMO. I definitely have zero issues when playing single player games. I don't think I've actually ever got addicted to a single player game. I might have binged for a weekend but got over those pretty quick. Its always the people that do it for me. Good news though, things are getting much better as more friends are tapering off their playing, so I am too. But you're right, everything in moderation is key
Have you ever heard about dissociation and how it relates to borderline personality disorder or CPTSD? I find games/drugs help me dissociate from my emotions and traumas that are very painful.
Games were definitely a maladaptive way for me to self soothe and escape from my abusive childhood.
Harm reduction wise, have you ever considered getting a walking machine? I use one while playing and at least I get some exercise in while I’m playing!
Yeah about 14ish years ago, I definitely leaned on video games and used WoW as a means to escape/dissociate from a traumatic thing that was going on at that time but it was definitely something I needed at the time (should have considered therapy as well). But a walking pad might be something I should consider. Thank you for the idea!
We are all addicted to being Heroes and Vilnians in fantasyland. We move on and have fond memories.
Working on the moving on part
I had to get off Netflix because I would binge…I’m addicted to CZcams but it’s not a bad as Netflix was….still, I need to cut way back.
Oooof don't get my started about Netflix binging. I find it easier for me to stop Netflix than gaming though, ugh
Wasted years of my life playing League of Legends and boy oh boy do I regret it. Like other have said, I'm not going to try and change who I am because I have always liked videogames but I only play single player ones now. I'm in my 30s and the amount of gaming I did really took a toll on my body. I should've taken better care of myself!
Since I last commented I have been playing the FF14 trial version a fair bit. Nearly level 20 now! I do feel myself getting a bit sucked in, but trying to make sure I still go see my boyfriend and that. I might subscribe fully around Christmas, although part of me likes the idea of staying on the Trial version forever 😂
Early congrats on getting to 20! I think if you don't get into raiding (that is a HUGE commitment and time sink) or buy an in-game house it is much easier to pull away from it. And you seem to be doing all the right things with moderation and seeing your BF, keep it up!
@@AnnAgainAgain thank you very much
Weirdly I did just hit 20, and took a break to look at my phone. Gonna see if I can take on the dungeon now!
@@dortz2024 Nice! have fun with it!
Ok, same my friend.
First time seeing your content, but I feel like I’m in the exact same boat as you.
Hopefully we can both get out of this situation!
I almost became addicted to video games when I was in college but I was able to snap out of it. Great of you making video. I am too camera shy myself!
I was actually SUPER camera shy, but I forced myself to do a 31 day "speak to camera" challenge, and it actually me get over the "stage fright". It helped IRL as well, as I don't feel as anxious doing work related presentations anymore. Give it a try! If I can do it, you can too!
I appreciate your vulnerability in posting this, it struck a chord in me. I'm at uni and during my semester break I thought I'd be okay to have one or two late nights to catch up on all the fun in FFXIV/other games I'd been missing out on during semester. A month later and I'm struggling to get back into routine for the next semester and am deep in video game binging again. I was doing really well with organising my life and have taken what feels like 20 steps back. Nothing we can do but try to get back on the horse and try again! If we can do it one time, we can do it a second :)
I agree about the sub structure, I hate waste or any kind, including money, so it does feel like I am leaving money on the table when I don't play. But yes its true, if we got over it before, we can get over it again. Good luck to you on getting back on the horse too
Setting a timer might help with tracking how much of a game you are playing. Also side note: if you quit for 3 days relapse then 4 or 5 days view that as progress.
I actually time myself on tasks for work and learning so I can min/max my life in that regard (what kind of ROI on said task) but I don't dare to do that for gaming because I know it's bad. That said I do agree with your definition of progress. Little steps are still steps!
I’ve been gaming since elementary school, with pc and Atari2600. The Rule is to make it work in your life, don’t make it your life.❤
Good rules to live by!
Don't be so hard on yourself!
Is one binge an addiction?
And on the bright side you came out and made this video..
Loving the authenticity, I know how hard that is :)
Yeah I am trying to give myself some grace here, I say until the end of the month and then make some real effort to stop. I don't know, ugh... I have been binging for 3 weeks straight at this point =(
@@AnnAgainAgainI’m not sure if this is addiction or hyperfocus.
@@LittleSparklingStars Right now maybe it is a bit of both. But I've been here before and I feel myself going down a negative spiral. Trying to figure out how to get out of it before it goes out of hand
Hey if it means anything to you, i am going through the exact same thing, with the same game essentially lol.
Its not just you who is struggling with this so don't ever think something is wrong with you and ONLY you.
We got this 👍
It does mean something to me! I do appreciate knowing that I am not the only one struggling with this. Things are getting better though. We def got this
I feel like simply the fact that you’re thinking about it means you’re doing pretty good
Yes! Also since posting the video I started to be so much better, it made me feel more accountable somehow. Things are getting better. Only logged in for 2 hours today lol
FFXIV player as well, I just finished a Realm Reborn though lol. For me I find making a schedule helps a lot. I wake up early in the mornings and play games at that time. Go to work, and after coming back work out for an hour, drop a CZcams video and then go to sleep. Weekends are spent cleaning, doing laundry, CZcams and blog stuff, spending time with the wife etc. Two or three hours before going to sleep on the Weekends is FFXIV time. It's hard at first to stick to the schedule but if you can stick to it it makes things a lot better.
Wow you sound super disciplined. I am def trying to work on the schedule thing, it's steadily improving!
@@AnnAgainAgain I wouldn’t say I am. It’s all about forming a habit. It is easier for some though. Just keep at it and you’ll get there 🙂
dawntrail was great but that's brutal, while FF14 is an mmo, you really gotta remember that yoshi has always been really encouraging of taking breaks, i understand the friend thing, all my friends play as well but man you gotta take care of yourself sis! don't be upset, you can lose yourself to easy if your not mindful, my best friend keeps track of the time and is strict about when he gets off, that's how most of my friends are otherwise it's to easy to end up here. don't be hard on yourself, just recognize that you need to take care of yourself and try to do so in the future! it's not the end of the world so long as you recognize the problem and put the effort into changing it! you'll do just fine!
You have some really good friends! Yep, I am trying to give myself some grace here. Things are also improving a ton since I first posted the video.
As a person who's 15 years sober from any type of alcohol or drugs, I'd say video game addiction is the least of my worries. I thoroughly enjoy raiding in WoW Classic Era a few nights a week. I'm addicted, yes, but within moderation. I find most single player games extremely boring with few exceptions.
Circumstances play a huge role here as well. Half the time I'm definitely an introverted person, I just don't want to be around other people. At my age, hanging out seems to always involve drinking alcohol at social events - something I avoid completely.
Another factor is time of year. Being in Vancouver means some wet, cold, and ugly times 6 months of the year. I'd just rather be inside playing games.
I have no idea where you're from Ann, but you seem like someone who would be great to be friends with. Wish you all the best.
Try not to beat yourself up too much hell I'm a 47 soon 48 yr old trucker and the first thing i do soon as get home is pack a bowl and turn on my Xbox it's my relaxing time after dealing with traffic all week
I'm usually the same way after work, its de-stressing. When it consumes me, it does the reverse. But I'm trying to give myself some grace! Thanks for your comment
Sounds like some of best years of my life with WoW. Having a kid was really the first step to getting over it. (For me, obviously not a universal solution.) But I do still miss my MMO friends and if I was a retired empty-nester I would go right back to that life of degeneracy without hesitation.
Yeah my husband and I are childfree so I don't have parental responsibilities shield me from the degeneration. However, work stuff has been ramping up, and I am actually grateful for it because it's something else for me to think about.
There are worse things & ways to attribute to the birth of a vice, like drinking, overeating, fornication, or smoking. My rule to myself is to play as much as I'm willing to work.
I've watched both videos and it sounds like we've taken a similar path (I'm 40) but you seem to hold a certain disdain for gaming/gamers or spending any time at all playing something new that you clearly enjoy. Unless you learn to accept that gaming is OK you're going to be in this battle with yourself every time you inevitably play games again - the problem is creating this issue by "breaking" makes you disappointed in yourself.
Mila Kunis, Henry Cavil among others play MMO games to excess at times so spending a week going hard on a game isn't even that bad as long as you come back to reality which you've said you do with work. Being accountable is fantastic but everyone is basically the same - people have vices, mostly it's TV, sport or drinking in bars - which is also a "waste of time".
Good luck :)
Your comment about the disdain, it is sort of true? I am a child of immigrants so I def see the "toxic productivity" type traits in me, very astute of you. I do feel extra bad when I am not productive because of it and part of the problem for me is to try to not beat myself over it so much as well as trying to do it more in moderation.
And NGL, Kunis and Cavil are among my favorite actors because they are gamers too. I stan them
@@AnnAgainAgain if I'm being honest I had to have a similar conversation with some friends who said the same things to me a few years ago. I hid the fact I was a gamer for the longest time and considered it a bad part of my life - but I enjoyed it.
I don't fully know your circumstance but I had to reflect upon other areas in my life that were perfectly fine, I have a house, I have a job, a car, no debt, I am clean, I eat well etc so I could accept it was OK.
I decided to remove myself from social media because I think it was leading me on. It can give the impression that everyone is just succeeding at everything and that's just total BS, it's not real. I also had to look at my parents lives, my dad works hard but he sits on his ass doing nothing but watch sport a lot too.
Anyway I'm rambling on, I hope you are enjoying the new FF exp.
I want to move from web accessibility testing into a frontend engineering role and am afraid I will never get there. I try my best to code and learn after work but I keep finding myself in the same place, gaming. No matter how long I keep my consistancy up, I always seem to end up back in the cycle eventually.
When I started learning to program way back before covid, learning how to program and building stuff and obsessing over that was something that actually helped break me away from gaming. Funny enough, the dumb projects I was working on was gaming related (sims, animal crossing, etc) and it kept me interested and going! Maybe you can find such a project to work on to pull you away from games?
There are FAR worse hobbies to have. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had friends who would go to EDM concerts and do hard drugs drink etc…..Our hobby just isn’t “cool” like watching football all weekend or blowing money partying. A lot of these friend groups you see only are really hanging out when they are drinking etc. They just found a way to make their hobby seem healthy, when many are far worse. Some of the best friends I ever had were on FFXI. Siren server baby!
I had a BF once who disparaged me for spending too much time playing games, but at the same time would get obsessed with sports doing fantasy sportsball (he doesnt actually play any of it /eyeroll ), it's the same thing but he'd actually gamble with real monies. Gaming isn't respected at all. Granted, it can get really bad if you go all in like I did. I am still trying to pull away from it. Everything in moderation!
I play video games 7 days a week too. I have to cut back 😢
You can do it!
I fell your pain, I had done the challenge of speaking 31 days, at in another profile, but I am also addict to video games, and do the samething you are doing.
A long time ago I was able to stop playing for 2 years, and the secret it was that sold evertyhing and cut contact with everything related to LoL. And I was able to stop for a a time, but I think the wrong thing it is playing anything we are like alcoholics, we have to cut the three by the roots.
Also dont change addiction like, changing games per netflix or other games, this is sad, but I think this is the only way.
I scripted a video to didnt recorded yet, I am able to work, but it is harder for side projects.
Yeah its tough because my friends moved all over the country, and this is the only time we are all "together" at one place to hang out with each other. I kind of don't care about the gaming as much, it's the people that keeps me coming back. I am hoping people will drop off sooner so I can stop being so addicted sooner and get back to my life!
MMOs in particular are the exact problem people are referring to when discussing the negative sides of gaming. Subscription based gaming is literally designed to make you habitually play more and more which is why most MMO players are heavily addicted to that singular game. It's trying its hardest to make you play it and grab your focus more than anything else in your life. Hence seasonal rewards and special limited time events just to really make sure you feel like you're "Not wasting your time". When in reality MMOs are the biggest proponent of wasting your time. My favorite videogame series is Metal Gear Solid but I'm not stressed about a monthly time limit, missing special events, and not being roped into a bunch of meaningless side activities in order to feel like my play time was "valuable". I used to do hardcore raiding on FF14 but I had to stop because it's actually the most damaging kind of videogame to ever play. Even compared to "Gacha" games MMOs have a unique aspect that every player is paying them multiple times over in order to play their game.
Remember how in one of the patch notes for FF14 they explicitly stated they were "cutting back the bloat of ARR"? Since MMOs have expansions, updates, and multiple storylines that "1 Month Subscription" will barely hold you over and you'd need about 2-3 months worth of sub time in order to catch up assuming you're only doing just the main story and not doing anything else like talking to other players. So every expansion actually hurts the sub time goal. You never want an MMO length to over bloat the subscription time but if you pay close attention to its design intentions it's clearly doing its hardest to milk more subscription time out of you with the super long story, overly complex endgame, and forcing you to walk everywhere before you can fly on your mount. It's why there's no real "casual MMO player" because they're molding you into this habitual player who logs in everyday to do their dailies and nothing more. That's far and beyond a casual experience that's just a part time job you pay to be included in. It takes a lot of experience and understanding of MMOs to either really love them or despise them outright. At the moment completely turned off by MMOs and instead focusing on less habitual inducing multiplayer games where I can just drop in and drop out as I please without any time crunch I have to consider. Ugh and don't get me started how MMOs "Peak Hours" are the only times you get to really play and anything past that you're basically just waiting for the rest of the players to wake up.
There are lots of better hobbies than MMOs which I feel is obvious to most but because of how these games literally warp our brains it's hard to pull yourself out of especially when it doubles as a second social life with your friends and playmates. It especially doesn't help because MMOs based off everything I said are trying to induce "FOMO" (Fear Of Missing Out) so even when you know all these things it'll cause you to stay in your habits. Nobody wants to feel like they missed out on a fun time especially with all their friends. Too many modern videogames are designed to "PLAY ME NOW. PLAY ME AND ONLY ME FOREVER." when most games never demand you to have a time commitment. They just seek to pass the time and entertain you. Not be a time, money, and energy vampire. Why do you think the biggest MMO content creators aren't playing MMOs? The studies have been done. Its conclusive MMOs in themselves are the exact problem with videogames as a whole which is a hard pill to swallow when you like those kinds of games. Gacha games only have the "Potential Harm" when MMOs are like hooking up an IV of heroin to your veins.
Wow thank you for your thoughtful comment. yeah I studied psych in college and I actually did my master's thesis on gamification of the workplace. While it isn't classified as addition in the same sense as drugs, gaming addition in of itself is a fascinating area of study to me. The frustration I feel is that I know game are essentially engineered to make you addicted, but I give in anyways. I def agree that games w/ people has that FOMO factor that is an additional layer that complicates things.
I'm borderline clinically addicted to video game, i'm pretty sure atleast... It's all i do, altho i have no other obligations because... money....
Altho, i know the feels..
Yeah, at the very least, I am doing my work. I work from home and try to finish everything as fast as possible so I can play (so there are probably mistakes that I will have to pay for in the future /sigh)
It's a really hard cycle to break because it's basically a loop. Gaming for too long will make you feel like you're wasting time and your life away so you go back to gaming to drown those feelings lol. My suggestion, get yourself an active dog breed. It will force you to go out on walks and spend time with them playing or maybe start your own lil garden, etc. Basically, something that'll pull you away from the PC for at least some time everydday.
Getting a pet is not a bad idea, but I just got over losing my cat so its probably too soon. Things are getting much better since I posted the video so I am not too worried. Hoping to get out of the loop by Sept
5k hours in Guild Wars 1 and 10k hours in Guild Wars 2. I quit playing hard around 2018 and fully around 2020 or 2021.
It took a while but I no longer care at all about those games now. Those hours were enjoyable to some extent but eventually I reached a point where enjoyment wasn't the key factor anymore and it addiction to progression and completing achievements.
The sad part is that I originally fell in love with MMOs and online games in the early days of the internet because it was difficult back them to meet people online and MMOs were just great at it. By the time I quit though, I was entirely a solo player. I was playing an online game by myself. What a mess.
These MMOs literally just taking advantage of human psychology. I consider them pretty evil these days honestly. Old MMOs aren't as bad because they existed before microtransactions but anything since like 2010 is just greed and addiction given form to prey on us, taking our time and money.
Oooo I used to play GW2, but never as hard core as I did with WoW or FF14. And yeah, games are basically engineered to make you addicted
I think you just want balance. I think its a special thing to be excited and have fun playing a game. Is it genuinely that with you, or is it to fill time, or take your mind off things you should be addressing in your real life? If its genuine then of course try to find that balance. Just make sure your shit is taken care of, the things that matter - Roof over head, income/job, mental and physical health. I want to live the gamer lifestyle and I use that life that I want as motivation to get the stuff done that I need to maintain. Just my 2 cents, know everyone is different. Its very hard to balance pleasure and all the nagging necessary things we need in life.
This sounds frustrating, I hope you find some useful strategies so you can enjoy both things in balance ❤
I am still figuring it out! Thanks for checking in with me 🥲
There's nothing wrong with playing video games. They are therapeutic and good for the brain. I've been playing video games for over 40 years, and I turned out fine.
"I've been playing video games for over 40 years, and I turned out fine."
Perfect example of an anecdote
I do agree about gaming. But in moderation. I have trouble with the moderation part
It's similar to using substances or gambling. Most people can use these behaviors for stress relief, or enhancing their experiences, and don't suffer major negative consequences. Theres a large group of people who may suffer negative consequences, and have a bad habit, but they're able to stop and curb their use.
But there's a slice of people who cannot really stop, under their own power. These are people who _love_ using/gambling/gaming/sex... but their wiring and their lifestyle make it really hard to stop.
The most addictive games today, IMO, are just a degree away from gambling. They have mobile games out there that are just a front end for a spot machine, and even have players wagering cash. No one argues that gambling is addictive for some. "Video games" covers a very wide breadth of products, but I hope it goes without saying, some can be highly addictive.
I'm a former heroin addict in long term recovery, I've been clean and sober for 11 years now, and I thought video game addiction was baloney until I saw how it worked first hand, and I learned more about it works. Again, many people game without major consequences, and that's great. But some slice of the population is just wired differently on the level of the brain, both by genetics and environment, and they're at a high risk of developing an addiction and suffering major consequences.
I can't tell you how many times I've met someone in 12 step groups, and they're getting off meth/amphetamines, and they end up transferring their addiction to gambling. They'll stay clean for years, then they start going to the casino, and before long, they're in the middle of a new addiction, suffering all the same consequences...
Just remember: recovery is possible. Don't give up five minutes before the miracle happens. As long as you keep working at this thing, and keep making progress (even if it's a baby step), you'll find a better way of life. Eventually, you will start thinking and feeling differently, so long as you put in the work. Your recovery will become automatic. Just don't give up.
My addiction was so bad, my family and friends were basically saying goodbye to me at age 25. I was a hopeless case. I could do it, anyone can. The only thing that made me different is that I had quite a bit of good luck, and I never quit. Anyone can learn this stuff, and put it into practice.
I just saw this video in my feeds and decided to give it a watch. As a heavy gamer all my life, and debating at times if I have an addiction, which I probably do and just won't admit it, I wish you the best of luck. People have always made me feel unimportant and abandoned in every aspect of my life, and I always struggled to fit in a crowd, so I gave up, and that's where the games come in. If I'm not working or doing something important, I am gaming. A day off for me is doing nothing but that. I don't know much of your situation seeing as I just saw this, but I think as long as you don't neglect your work, sleeping, eating, showering, and taking care of your family, kids and the like to game, then you don't have to think you are addicted. However, if you feel that awful guilty feeling after doing so, then it is a step in the right direction for you. It sounds like you need to find a way to connect with friends or family more outside of gaming to help you out of that shell. Good luck to you, and anyone else struggling with this. Personally, I don't care what anyone says, I am going to keep gaming to my hearts content until I find an important reason enough to cut back on it, like having to tend to my own family or something, if I ever have one :)
Yeah, there were definitely times when I would using gaming as a crutch because it feels like I am actually doing something, checking off boxes, feel a little accomplished. But when I look at my IRL, I would be super dissatisfied. It actually took a while to get out of that hole by finding other hobbies and things to obsess about. Unfortunately, my family and friends are part of the reason I am gaming, because outside of weddings, this is when everyone gets together (at least digitally) and I wanna hang out with them. I just need to find something different and more productive to latch on to.
Do you live with your family? If you do, maybe you can try to suggest something as simple as a family game night or something. Like board games that is. If you can't get them to do something like an hour everyday, then aim for one specific night a week or something. Even if you or someone has to take a short drive. Whatever works for you best. That little time regularly may be just what you need to help you in your goal of breaking that cycle :)
Cheers to you, Ann 🍻🍻
🍻🍻
Dawntrail is awesome, most fun I've had in 14 in a while. SCH mains rise up.
Anyway I think one of the most important things we gotta remember on our self improvement journey is we're not gonna be as perfect as we expect and take situations like this as an opportunity to exercise self compassion. The fact that you recognize yourself getting off track is actually a big deal because now you have a point of reference. Instead of feeling shame for perceived goof ups, I like to step back and reflect upon what caused me to act in a way I regretted from a point of curiosity rather than animosity. I always thought journaling was a meme but it's actually pretty powerful stuff. And always remember tomorrow's another day
Totally agree. Tbh I don't feel "shame" about it per se, but making the video is making it way easier to be accountable for some reason. I have basically anyone who watched it or commented (like you!) to thank for it. The downward spiral I was feeling is wayyy improved
What would I tell people online? That my dream in life is to make a Gladiatrix (=female gladiators) movie (I am actually slowly working on a script)?
I would recommend quitting games altogether and finding a sport or a hobby that fulfills that same need you have. And for that what's crucial is to find *what specifically* it is that you're getting out of games. Parts work is invaluable for this, so if you can hire a practitioner who does parts work I would totally recommend it, especially because our reasons for doing something are not always conscious, so being aware of the unconscious helps immensely to solve things.
It's mostly the people/social aspect of MMOs that bring me in. I am part of a group of IRL friends, and we're kind of spread out in different states and life stages (kids etc). Outside of weddings or other big events, expansions are about the only time we're all together (even though its digital). Friends make me login and the game mechanics keeps me there. Things are improving though as more friends login less and my work is becoming more hectic
@@AnnAgainAgain Maybe you could find a way to connect with those friends IRL? I know this might be hard to do, especially because I assume there must be a lot of people who live far away.
MMOs are the worst, in my opinion, because of the social aspect (and because they're designed to keep you in them for as long as possible). I used to play MMOs and my llife has gotten a lot better since I stopped.
I'm glad things are improving!
Im also struggling with this addiction. :(
Hopefully we will overcome!
I quit FFXIV right before standard DT launch, and tho I miss it every day, I get my occasional "fix" by watching others play it. I was in a month-long trip to Mexico and couldn't really play even if I wanted to. I streamed live plays at night in bed. As soon as I saw how atrocious the MSQ was, the need and want to play it kinda went out the window... It isn't quite recapturing the high's of ShB or EW. I'm sure the gameplay is great, but I can't really lock into the world if I feel the story is weak or contrived.
If the story were better than ShB tho, I don't think I'd be writing this comment hahah
Emotionally, I was locked into FFXIV's world because these past 2 years, I've been hooked I had also been a gig worker while taking care of my dying father. So I had time that a standard job couldnt offer. But once he passed in the latter half of 2023, I didnt have an excuse anymore to retreat into gaming, and basically told myself to dip out during DT launch. I've been away ever since. I know I'll relapse by next expansion, but by then, I should be getting sh!t done to enjoy it without the guilt.
I don't enjoy video games anymore. I stopped enjoying them when I was about 25. There are some that are still fun to play, but it's definitely not like it was when I was younger.
Yeah I feel that. There's very few games that I actually enjoy. Many of them I enjoy because of the people I play with more than the game itself
dawntrail goes kinda crazy tho, what server do you play on?
Faerie on Aether server, its fun, but at a cost
@@AnnAgainAgain I hope you find a way to moderate your time or enjoy other competing interests so you can have fun with it without these feelings weighing you down
addiction is no good, but we owe it to ourselves to enjoy the free time we have! MMOs are easy timesinks to fall into but they can still be valuable sources of community and interaction in a very isolated modern social environment - I presume you’ve made a number of friends over your time playing the game?
Why binge play video games at all? Reading a fiction book that interests you will help your eyes get tired until you fall asleep. You will feel refreshed when you wake up and ready for work.
I have been known to just dedicate an entire weekend to reading a long novel. Honestly, it doesn't feel any better than game binging to me in terms of time I feel was not productive. But it does have hard cutoff when the book is done so it's not ongoing.
Clearly, I have a problem with moderation in general. That's something I need to figure out with myself.
This is pretty sad, MMOs were the beginning of this kind of extreme addiction and it's continued into mobile gatcha style games where they give you the feel of missing out if you aren't there every day. The only reason I'm not stuck on one of those today is because the social pressure to keep playing wasn't there for me. I think you can break free of this if you set a time limit for yourself per day and have something else that you enjoy doing (potentially away from your home) that you can do when not playing. I don't think the game is making you happy or getting you any closer to who you wish you could be. I hope you conquer this.
Great suggestions, things are getting better!
You are not alone, if making this type of videos makes you feel better then Make more, you are pretty and young find a partner and share your life with them
It actually did make me feel a lot better and helped make me feel accountable too. I am married, also to a gamer, we are both degenerates lol.
There's nothing wrong with being heavily invested in MMORPGs. The problem starts with not being able to balance work/school/family/friends because of a lack of self-control. So how do we fix the self-control issue? Set an alarm, ask a friend to pull you away, schedule activities/sleep/meals/work/school/other commitments to help you stop at certain times. When you get used to having to stop gaming at certain times, then it builds up your confidence in your ability to have self-control. That confidence you have in your self-control is what's gonna help you in the long run.
Agreed, self control is super important!
You are human. Human's have physical instincts and desires.
Sometimes, they will overpower you. Don't be awful to yourself because those desires won one over you yesterday.
Focus on staving them off today. Try your hardest, and if you fail today as well, at least you know you tried your best.
People stay addicted not because they are weak, but because they stop trying to quit their addiction. As long as you never stop trying, you will eventually succeed.
Thanks for your encouraging comment, things are getting better!
As a FFXIV player who just saw this video in my feed I dunno what to think now lmao
lol thanks for your comment. I don't know what to think either haha
I remember when FF1 debuted. I was a regular on another RPG (Playstation Everquest) and almost switched - but I didn't like the original Final Fantasy game. The game friends I had had switched to FF, I probably should've also since they were so good at RPGs and all I had to do was tag along - they had carried me all the way to main healer in the top guild status; which was just too hard to give up.
I guess I'm fortunate the game that was advertised as being forever, ended...
I was addicted to City of Heroes (old super hero themed mmorpg) and was reaaaaallly sad they shut down. But at the same time it was relief, so I totally get it. I don't think FF14 will ever end though 😅
I'd say generally have a banana or food that has magnesium, maybe even a magnesium supplement, since it generally does improve sleep. Other than just put all the smartphone devices in another room, so it's unreachable for internet. Those are guidelines and just see ask yourself what happens if you do it.
Hmm I do take magnesium supplements, but only every other day. I should look into into more. Thanks for the tip
For that social pressure, I solved that by always being offline on steam friends list (and never on discord). Just play what you want, when you want. Honestly I played Cyberpunk 2077 for the first time like... 2 months ago.
I've been playing Jagged Alliance 2 since 1999 and my brother has been plays Diablo 2 since 2000. Sometimes you have to accept that this is more than "just a hobby". I wouldn't call it an addiction, my father plays solitaire since Windows 3.1 till now; the mind finds ways to decompress while the senses remain busy. MMOs are just the same. As you say you're still responsibly going to your job... what more can anyone ask?
It definitely is more than just a hobby. I do agree, maybe calling it addiction is a bit much, but it definitely took over my life for a month. I am only finally feeling the urge much less now, after a month wasted. It definitely could have been worse
@@AnnAgainAgain Then you're officially a healthy person. Being attracted to novelty (an expansion) in a short intense burst seems totally normal human behaviour. Like one would have over a new car or a new partner.
I took a whole week off for the expansion and played 12 hours a day for a week.
That sounds a lot like what I did that first week 😅
Dawntrail! I understand as everyone wnd their mother was playing DT on release. I will say however, that story is a slog for me. I havent finished it yet. I love Wuk Lamat but wtf is that random wild west segment? Lmao please make it end! Picto is amazing though and i love the AST changes. Happy gaming and I hope youre able to find that work play balance rng thats eluding you atm 😁
I found Wuk Lamat really annoying at first but she grew on me! My theory on the random Western town is for the fan service basically. I'm AST main (although I've been playing WHM more this pac) and I'm ambivalent about the changes. I do miss the v1 ast where it was all RNG, its certainly easier to manage buffs now. Since posting the video, i feel way less obsessed. i only logged in for 2 hours today! Thanks for your comment, the story is pretty good at the end so I hope you make your way through it soon!
I'm an introvert myself but more of an extroverted introvert. I like to spend a lot of my time alone and in my own company either learning and exploring new mediums or just simply learning as I'm always curious. I'm a Gemini. However, I also enjoy interacting in real world and also doing real world things with people, but I get simply drained after hanging out with people too long and need to "Recharge". That said, I have used MMO's for comfort and escapism when I was going through rough patches in my as well as I also enjoy both the solo and group aspects of MMO's, while also making new friends along the way in game and bonding with them that turned into friends in the real world. Therefore, I understand where your coming from. However, you really need to find an MMO that you can play casually and in moderation as some MMO's are better to play when you unemployed or don't have a lot of responsibilities so you can devote more time to the MMO where other MMO's accommodate your life and time and can be played more casual. It seems to me that Final Fantasy 14 is taking too much of your time and energy which is conflicting with your real world. You simply need to stop playing Final Fantasy 14 until you have a less demanding job or more time and instead play an MMO that is more casual and respects your time. I wouldn't give up gaming entirely. I would just choose a new MMO.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I pretty much only play one game, which is FF14, because my IRL friends play it. So it makes pulling away a bit harder than most games. However, as more of them play less, I find myself playing less as well. So it's definitely improving
Videogames was part of my life since I was 7 or 8 it shaped me to who I am today and I think that I am somewhat a good citizen and never got in trouble with someone or the law, when I was in my teens and in my early adult life I was a mild consumer of weed and alchool because I hanged with people who did them on a daily or weekly basis during highschool and it went on until my mid 20's, by the end of my 20's I decided to cut ties with those people and stop smoking weed and drinking alchool and I have to thank the videogame industry and all the content creators for making them enterntaining enough for me to quit those bad habits. there is no doubt that I will never consume substances that will impair my body and mind again because of this hobby.
That's a great achievement! Glad to hear you found some positivity from video games
damn and here i was thinking i want to try and get into FF14. i dont play online games but so many people say FF14 is awesome
yea ff14 turns everyone into a degen... it's such a good game, but i stopped playing bcs of how addicting it is 😭
I'm thinking until the end of the month and then try to be less of a degen lol
No worries, video games are just so darn fun
Too darn fun! I hate it 😓
on my days off I'll usally play FFXIV for 12 to maybe 14 hours cause I got nothing better to do maybe besides going to the near by arcade