Signs You Are Traumatized By Narcissism - Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2019
- In this video, I discuss the traumatic repercussions of living with or trying to have a relationship with a narcissist.
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1. Ted Talk on Childhood trauma • Breaking the Silence a...
2. Fatherless home - Jordan Peterson • Jordan Peterson - Grow...
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I'm Támara, a licensed and nationally certified mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
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I cant wait for the next video!
I'm so ready for the vlog also!
And to add onto what you talked about at the end (when you getting your workout on, go you!!) I am so glad that I decided to subscribe to you. Not only is everything you do interesting and education but it has help me pin point why I am the way I am, so thank you.
That's awesome!! I'm glad you subscribed too! And thank you for the love. Lol 🙂
I give you my word if there is anything your questioning about yourself or others around you and the impact on your own sanity. You have absoluty subscribed to a highly experienced therspist this lady is outstanding. ❤👌
Thank you Beth!! 😊
@@TherapistTamaraHill
No, thank you Tamara.💖
A narcissistic person hates emotionally strong people... its all a game! Keep you strength and trust yourself!!!!
I am the scapegoat in a narcissistic family dynamic-I walked away. They have since tried to reel me back in and put me back in my place as their garbage can--but I moved to another continent and not sure they have anyone else to gaslight.
sounds like you are serious about getting away and having a peaceful life. I don't blame you!
I was just talking with my therapist today about how my narcissistic Grandmother and Mother had two faces. Outside the house they appeared sane, well adjusted and upstanding. Behind closed doors they were explosively violent and Tyrannical. Good Gawd. I'm glad I survived that CULTIC experience.
My mother in a nutshell
As I looked back at my narcissistic family tree I now see the suicides in almost every generation very differently (the family story was that the person was an alcoholic, had depression, was weak or troubled). Each person who took their own life had a direct and long relationship with a narc/ someone who clearly had a severe personality disorder. Narcs drive family, spouses/partners, and other first degree relatives to suicide and that's due to the trauma. Excellent (and tragic) examples are Picasso's and Stalin's family. Both of those tyrants drove family to suicide. They isolate and take the victim's life away so that the victim only has the narc, then the narc "discards", sometimes over and over creating even more trauma, and that person has no ability to help themselves and are even brainwashed into thinking they have no use without the narc. I think we need to stop blaming depression and mental illness and/or a personal flaw in the person who has taken their life and instead look at their relationships and how abusive and traumatizing they were. There will almost always be a narc involved.
Thank you! Narcissists typically don’t commit suicide unless they are in so much crap that they can’t escape such as legal issues or they got caught committing a crime. Narcissists are typically resilient especially when they don’t think they did any harm or don’t care how they treat other people.
I totally agree! I couldn’t help but wonder about “Twitch’s” relationships. From experience I know they (usually family) are most likely the culprit. He never really smiled in his eyes. I have wondered for so long if someone has to be mentally ill to end themselves.
@@LatterDaySteph_ That's not true. Depressed narcissists have a high risk of committing suicide!
@@litawi7869 who is twitch's? I am curious who thisnperson is
👍Everything you say Regarding the Suicide in Every Generation in Your family 😢😫, When People think it is Inherited in the DNA, I don't Believe So. I think there were Narcissists people 😫😢 in the Family, that destroyed the family in each Generation. It is Sometimes Better to be born Orphaned !! and be Adopted, Hopefully in a good Family, then to Grow Up in a Biological Family with many Narcissists Members that Destroy the Biological family and Cause Suicide in the family Generations. If there are Narcissists in the Family, it is Better to be Far Away from this Biological family. Efrat.
Ummmm... Choking someone is not passive aggressive. That’s what we just call aggressive I would go a step further to say beyond aggressive that would be considered attempted murder.
Way!
That's what my ex husband did to me but he said that I am " complaining all day everyday about it "
Thank you
They really are stalkers and relentless at it. They also have a tons of enablers and monkeys that they can utilize for peripheral harassments.
I had to deal with more than one narcissist as once for years and years and years. It almost killed me from all the stress and chaos of dealing with more than one narcissist as once. I need to live by myself with my emotional support dog for my own sanity after the lifetime of abuse I went through. I'm not the same person anymore because of all the abuse and everything I went through.
I'm sure it was difficult. I'm so sorry! It's so sad to see how society is overwhelmed by the sociopaths and narcissists among us. It isn't always easy to spot so we fall into many traps until we can't afford to do so.
@@TherapistTamaraHill You are so right about that. I was a caretaker my whole entire life. I'm trying my hardest to learn self-care, build my self-esteem, also work on myself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I learned that it's better to be completely alone then to be abused, used, neglected, lied to, treated like a slave and manipulated all the time. I'm 45 years old and I've been through every kind of abuse you can think of. My abuse started at 7 years old and continued through my childhood and in my adolescence and through most of my adult life. I truthfully and honestly don't know anymore what normal is or how normal is suppose to be like.
Me too friend me too. At one point I dealt with about 5 .. one overt two coverts and some in between . Horrible experience and still hard to share or explain.
They do know everything and they’re good at it. Diabolical is a good word for it.
This is exactly what I am going through right now I am at the phase where I am scared all the time I think everyone is out to get me because of things he would say to me while we were together. We ended things in March so it’s still fresh. We have a daughter together and she talks about him daily that’s the reason I stayed for so long. This has been so bad I am physically sick now. I know I am getting through this but it’s exhausting and so damaging to myself and my kids.
I feel your pain. All my hair fell out due to his continual attacks. Didn't understand narcistsist till 20yrs past by. I even married him 6 yrs ago. Not knowing he hated me
Boy! This brings back memories. I remember when I got the epiphany about my mother and trying to get her to see her NPD. Everything is like a chess match with them, you're so right. They run from that shame like they're on a mission. Losing would be like death to them. If they *do* feel an ounce of shame the pride rises up and puts a lid on it SWIFTLY!
There's simply no way. There's no way to get a person who has a twisted interpretation of reality to start interpreting reality without twisting it. You need to have access to reality to see things correctly, they just don't. To them, their feelings are facts, and that's *their* reality.
Once I realized this, I felt free of any need to explain myself or convince her how wrong she is. That's when I stopped letting her drain me with guilt and accusations.
Thanks for watching Tess!
Not letting her drain you with guilt and drama is the most important step in relationships like this. Once you begin to put up those boundaries and really begin to examine the negative toll the relationship has taken on you, you're able to heal better and push forward with confidence. Narcissists have a way of turning things in such a way that you begin to think that you're the problem and that you're creating the complex dynamics in the relationship. To understand that this has nothing or little to do with you is very significant.
@@TherapistTamaraHill
Oh I'm way over that. I had to go no contact 5 years ago. I had the type of mother who sabotaged my friendships, romantic relationships....the kind who would call your boss and get you fired by telling lies.
She would create crisis in her life so that I had to rescue her. And codependent that I was, I kept falling for it.
Once ,my best friend and I let her move in with us because she was being evicted, she's decided she's too good to work so she lost her apartment......she got into my friends head...my friend threw me out and continued to live with my mother.
My mother is a malignant narcissist who has an MSW. And I'm and only child. So I got the cream of the crop NPD parent. 😂😂😂
But she's smart, so I truly believe she knows what she's doing... she's just evil. I think most Narcissists don't understand what they are doing, but my mother does. She had a family practice for years...she knows. She's just too weak to do the work.
So I had to go before I wasted the second half of my life battling her schemes.
Oh yeah! That's just how they do it. So manipulative. But more emotionally draining draining on your part.
Well said Tess, story of my life ! Imagine living with her and a covert narcissistic husband who team up with her to destroy you for about 6 years . Not sure how I’m still alive and sane but for divine grace. I’ve gone no contact with my malignant narcissistic mother for about 5months now . Still trying to figure out how to leave my NPD husband with 2 little girls.. The damage these individuals can cause society is beyond comprehension and I pray there will be national awareness one day to save souls.
@@tintina2753
Aw MAN! It's gotta be hard when Children are involved. My departure was cut and dry, but if you have to consider Children?!!
I feel for you. Even if you get away, there's the sifting thru court battles and trying to deflect their lies. Then you gotta deal with visitation. SMH that's rough. I'll put you on my prayer list. Jesus can do miraculous things if we ask Him.
And your heart is involved if you're a normal person. So to fight against this and jts your mom or dad or partner or child smh its just heartbreaking. They can detach so easily so thats why they can easily say they love you then on the other hand abuse you. They also use psychology against you smh. They do so much.
You nailed it again Tamara. I've seen it with my own two eyes for decades at work, in churches and in substance abuse families. Keep on speaking that wisdom. Thank you for your service.
Thanks so much Bill!! And you're welcome!
My ex "cluster B" rolled over on top of me and choked me because I pointed out he was cheating on me and the social manipulation is horrible! After 10 years in a relationship I finally, after seeking out an amazing therapist, discovered what I was dealing with and got out. I've explained to others what I'm dealing with and I've heard my own lawyer tell me it could be worse, etc. And that I'll have to maintain low contact. But I know deep down I need to get as far away as possible from this person with my children. All these things you say hit home for me and I live with a constant fear and inability to trust others, where there was none before. I wish more people understood how real and frightening this is and I have to thank you for the clear insight. I find the most difficult thing to do is talk about it and describe it to others but you do it beautifully. Maybe a video on specific phrases that someone like me could use when interacting with these types of people. I want to shut it down without putting a bigger target on my back. Thank you, and best descriptions and explanations of this abuse hands down!
Thanks so much A F! I am humbled by this.
I think you are right that having specific language is what's most important for people who are in these relationships. I can definitely try to fit that in this month as October is domestic violence awareness month and a lot of people could benefit from having the correct language. I'm glad you finally got out. It's not easy to get out of these complicated relationships. Thank you for watching!
The mysterious fumes, the covert hypnosis, the unimaginable spying..
"5 year old ego". Yep, that's my covert ex. He would literally throw a fit if I was nice to his friends kids. It confused me so much - what kind of person gets jealous of a 4 year old?
I'm so sorry. That is tough to deal with. Someone who is jealous of a child often has unresolved childhood conflicts and issues themselves. This require deep exploration on their part and possible psychotherapy.
You have explained this SO WELL. One would have to experience it firsthand to really be able to appreciate the content presented in this video. Excellent. Thank You So Much.
Thank you so much! I'm glad this was helpful!! And you're welcome.
Thank you so much for making this. It's been two years since I got out and I still have so much to work through. I second guess myself all the time and sometimes I feel crazy but this reminded me that I'm not alone in this even if it felt like it back then.
You're welcome! 😊
The process takes some time to heal and rebuild but once you do you will be relieved that you had tye courage to.
Thank you for allowing us to benefit from your training and experience. I would appreciate hearing your perspective on the impact of dealing with institutions (religious organizations or corporations etc) that function like narcissists or are lead by narcissistic individuals. Please discuss how to recognize them and how to cope and defend / protect oneself. Are you familiar with the work of Diane Langberg regarding spiritual abuse? If so would be interested in hearing your perspective. I think this information could help a lot of people. Thank you!
❤Thank you and you're welcome!
I am familiar with Langberg's work. I will consider bringing this to the channel for sure.
Don't worry about looks. The beauty of your soul and the information you put out is so helpful. There's no human looks that could come close to the gift you are in that respect. Though you are beautiful inside and out 😉
💖 Thank you for these honest and heartfelt words. Put a smile on my heart.
@@TherapistTamaraHill you're very beautiful, gorgeous even. I hope you know that. ❤️
The narc in my life he knows how to be hateful and my gut always drives me away from him
Thank you for your videos, I feel that the first step is realizing what a Narcissist is. I am in my 70's and have an older Sister who I just realized is a Narcissist. We lived in different cities for the majority of our lives until now. I moved to be near her only to discover how manipulative she is. She comes across as being so helpful and concerned, but at the same time using her education as a control mechanism. She's always been jealous of me because I have been the Rebel of the family. She is so perfect and knows everything. You can't have a conversation with her without her correcting something you said. She is never wrong and Heaven forbid if you should correct her or tell her you do not like something she is doing. She goes ballistic and turns it around like she is a victim! I am trying not to have contact with her and I don't want to get into and argument. I don't really know how to approach her anymore to tell her I don't want any contact. Not sure what she will do. Your statement about them loving Cliques is so so true. She considers herself as a healer and uses tuning forks, crystal bowls and such to have a following. I realize it is her way to be the Superior one and hold the power over people. I will continue to watch your informative videos and hopefully I can get some incite on how to approach her.
I have endured such instability and mental/emotional abuse that I developed cPTSD and schizoid traits. I’ve been pushed into total isolation out of fear of being found. Went from owning a 3 bedroom apartment to a tiny suitcase in 6.5 years. Lost my family. All my friends. My self-confidence. Constantly doubted my sanity. I’ve been made homeless on a weekly basis. I’m just rebuilding my life now. I had 8 months therapy already but looking to get somatic release. I don’t drink don’t take any drugs and am celibate and found solace in God 🙏🏻 this person is incredibly powerful, with a criminal past but has people working for him even in the legal system. He is a mason. I have collected evidence and recorded evidence of verbal emotional psychological abuse. I pray to God to help me rebuild my life.
I am so happy I found your channel . I find they way you explain whatever the situation or mental health problem is you put in a way none of the other channels I watch. Thank you so much.
🥰💖 Thank you and welcome to the channel! so glad this is helpful.
Do you know someone who you think may have seriously impacted you? I do!
Please like, share, and comment. 🙂
Thank you again Tamara! I'll be back tomorrow!
You're welcome :)
I looooove this! Thanks for discing this topic. My husband's narcissistic mother led to unresolved trauma.
You're welcome!! So glad to hear you can relate to these videos.
I feel connected with you by spirit can’t explain it. 🌝🌸Hope all is well. Thank you for the videos💯🕊♥️
You're welcome! 🥰 And thank you! The power of meaningful CZcams!
Me too it’s so cool
Excellent analysis of narcissism… I just found this channel and it’s great. Are used to listen to, and still do listen to Dr. less Carter and the little shaman, but I think this woman explains narcissism even better than they do. Great stuff!
Yessss Girl 💖💯💕💕💕
You Hit the nail on the head with abusive Narcissistic Abuse (of course Your the pro ) But it hit so very close to home. The Stalker / Dangerous Type Hates when You recognize the Rug You pull out from under them! The Facade they portray ... And 100% Dangerous!!! You Worked with My family & we Loved You 💖
Somebody that gets it.
:)
Thank you Tamara for explaining such topics.
You're welcome!
gathering so much wisdom...elder sister is diabolical.... been so toxic to me off-late.. so unhealthy. now i know better.x
Hi Tamara! Amazing video! I’ve learned a lot about trauma bond. I was raised by a narcissistic father. I became severely codependent. I want to be a healthy person. Big hugs and Much love, From, Texas!
Although wish I had known these things years ago…I am delighted that I found you and your incredibly valuable insights!
Thank you so much! I'm glad to welcome you to the channel.
Superb video! I truly relate to it from family to church to education to work to neighborhoods that I have been living in... and especially to my ex who’s still hasn’t grown tired of stalking me and my friends and family!
The social intelegence is exactly right and it is a case of gathering the masses in my situation i have always been afraid of the intelligence that comes across in her grammer with her facebook or chatroom conversations is unbelieve and its frightning when you see masses of poeple liking and then going to her for advice. But ive had a helping hand to see tgis person for what she is and that in its self has been a huge turn around for me so thank you Tamars and im looking forward to learning so much more from you 💖
Thanks Beth!! Glad to have you on the channel.
I too am "afraid" of intelligence among these kind of people. As I said in the video...it's DIABOLICAL. Evil is the only word I can think of.
@@TherapistTamaraHill indeed DIABOLICAL evil behaviour.
Its something i think us empathic and caring people will never fully comprehend this sort of person and the energy we waste by trying to understand these narcissists, the more we feed their ego.
I gave everything but I got nothing in return, except a guilt trip for which I am still paying dearly. Narcissist, psychopath, psychosis? What is the answer?
A lot of people feel like you. You are certainly not alone.
Thank You Tamara
This is 100% my ex friend and stalker. It sounds just like him. He is a nightmare.
I'm sorry. Yes, STALKERS of all kinds are a nightmare. They cross the boundary, whether they believe they do or not.
I am so grateful that I found your channel! You are so on point when it comes to Trauma.
I'm so glad! Thank you! And welcome to the channel.
I encourage you to join me LIVE on Fridays after 6pm est. I enjoy communicating nwith all of you and answering your questions.
Thank you for giving us these amazing resources so freely
So nice of you! Thank you! And I'm glad these videos are helpful.
@@TherapistTamaraHill They truly are ❤️❤️🤗 thanks from the bottom of my heart 💜
That message was extremely powerful and impactful. You are amazing with your craft. Thank you! Oh, no matter what you look like. I see you, and your naturally beautiful inside/out. Keep up the good work. "Nothing can stop you go all the way up".🤗💖💖💖
Thank you Carmelo! 💖😊 Needed to hear this, but especially "nothing can stop you, go all the way up."
Amen!
Thank you so much for this information…it helped me understand more about how I have been traumatized by so many people with whom I’ve had relationships starting with my family
Thank you Tamara !!!!
You're welcome! Thank you for watching 😊
I've been dealing with my father my entire life and the longer it goes, the more I feel like I'm scared I'm going to get to a point of no return. He just won't let me go on with my life without a point of inflicting psychic harm.
It seems like narcissism needs others to participate in order to be effective. Wouldn't the accessibility of the internet and social media exponentially grow narcissism in human beings?
So very true! Good point.
The unfortunate reality for narcissists is that the ways in which society remains blind to them and responds to them promotes the rewarding aspects the disorder. In other words, narcissists get rewarded by blind society and that's what maintains the behavior!
what a wonderfully accurate and broad overview of this personality type
I have watches many Sam V videos Dr R and Dr G .... and some other coach level videos . I am amazed at how I have been around so many narcs and flying monkeys by my own nature.attract them.. I know I must have some of these tendancys, I snapshot and its hard to see people change from ... but have had a lot of therapy and self help groups ... this condition bleeds into phycopathy and yes can become very very dangerous . I always want to fall for her ...and protect her .....save her... serve everyone... It always ends very badly... trying to make sure to not go there again but now I stay alone live alone and have no friends no Woman. It is lonely but I am still alive. and now felling better than ever
thank you very much
I am feeling transferance ...
This video was really interesting and really hits home for me.Thank you.
That's good to know! That's the goal!! 🙂
You are on-point in this video. Thank you ❤
You're welcome! Thanks for watching.🙂
I love how you teach!❤
🤗Thank you!
Hope you feel better,thank you for your dedication to helping us!
I appreciate that! Thank you. And you're welcome. It's my pleasure!
I'm so glad I found this channel 🌻
I'm glad you did too!! Welcome to the channel!!
Thank you so much for your help!
You're welcome!🤗
Thank you so much ,your videos are so useful
Thank you! And you're welcome 😊 Glad these videos are helpful.
Great content thank you for sharing your knowledge.
You're welcome. My pleasure! And thank you.
You are awesome...so glad you are a therapist and you do what you do...xoxo
Thank you so much! 😊
This year, I've been betrayed by a narcissist--who doesn't think she's a narcissist--who unknowingly (...or maybe she does know) victim blames everyone else around her--and today, I feel like I'm STILL paying the consequences. *sighs* 😔😔😔
Thank you!
You're welcome!!
Hi Tamara, your channel is healing gold, I'm really enjoying your videos.
Thank you so much! That's a blessing to hear. Very glad these videos are helpful to you.🤗
Thanks so much Tamara! Your working out at the end of this video is very inspiring!!
You're so welcome!😊 And I totally forgot about that part of the video! lol
Thank You 👍 Tamara for Your Excellent Video and Your Thorough Analysis of the Narcissist. It is very Helpful and Encouraging to watch your video. Efrat.
Glad it was helpful!☺ You're welcome. And thank you!
Insightful and helpful video
Thank you!! Glad it was helpful!
@@TherapistTamaraHill 🌷
Interesting..
Great key points👍
Thanks!! 👍
@@TherapistTamaraHill your welcome and thank YOU for all the videos and hard work you share with all of us consistently.
Thank you😊 And you're welcome.
on point ☝️
Thank you. 💜
You're welcome! Thanks for watching.
These videos are very helpful. How does a person who left his abuser in tramor bond relationship cut emotions free from her 2 children. The person feels obligated. They are not his. He only Bern around them for one year.
You just described my ex so completely.
Excellent video, described my former marriage to a T... thank you for giving clarity and explaining why these things were happening.
You're welcome! Glad this was helpful to you. Thank you!
These videos & sharing of knowledge has helped me so much!!! I had no idea until recent years & have had so much to cope throughout my life while going though other very difficult stuff later in life where I should’ve been exhausted from all this so I didn’t have strength or support for life altering events that I didn’t have control of.
You’ve helped me so much. 🗽🦋❤️👍❕
🥰 Thank you! I'm really glad these videos are helpful.
Yes there is read 1Timothy3 All about lovers of self
My ex... today... got upset at me for leaving him with out snacks for the football game today... I left to cali last night because my mom was dying.. he continued to say I left his window left open and all his shit could have gotten stolen.. like..mmmm u work as a RN in hospice... wtf??? Yhea I just moved in and will be arranged a truck to pick up my belongings n return his key.. oh forgot to mention his buddy who comes over on sunday to watch footbal is his gay buddy but both r in closet! Wtf #3 realationship whom were all gayy????? Help please???? How do I keep attracting these gay narrssic men???...
Don't tell him you plan on leaving. Just roll. If you tell him before you do it, he will find a way to punish you for it. You might not be able to leave with all your stuff. They love destroying property.
Your pretty Awesome!! 🎉
Thank you so much!! I'm sure you are too.😀
My boss was just like this.. but then when you start acting just like them out of pissing for being with them then they will blame you for being narcissist. It's not worth to even work with them. They use triangulation. Your narc boss will never talk to you directly. He will send team member to gather information from you. So basically colleagues face as mask but covert asshole behind the mask. When I came back to India they started using my family members to gather information about me. They used my parents to fight against me and create family drama. They spread rumors about me in society..basically they cause destruction but will blame you. They further expect you show no reaction. As if they are entitled to abuse you but you must not say anything against them.
RFS
U can’t even say the word w reflection on them. If it’s ur man, better not say anything just RUN! The 2 closest in my life are, we’re covert narcissistic w severe mood disorder & sociopaths. They just hate it feels like hate.
Help me!!!!!$ im in deep pain
You cannot get through to them
Yes. That's the most difficult part of relationships with these people, sadly.
you're so beautiful! love yr channel. do you have tiktok?
Thank you!! No. I'm so lame. lol I'm not a Tik-Toker!
Is it how does a kid act when he born how to fix when a kid is born around psycho parents for 13 years
whats your take on hypnotherapy?
I'm not really sure of the research on this Joe. Some of my colleagues strongly believe in hypnotherapy, while I tend to believe that it isn't efficient or sufficient for certain mental health conditions. There's a little research on the connection between hypnotherapy and trauma which is why I'm not too familiar with this area of study. I welcome your thoughts on it!
i found some hypnosis while you sleep with diet and bad habits and after a couple days of continuing to do it, it gets stronger effects and i noticed a difference with temptations and hunger cravings
@@joerome1648 wow! I believe you. I'm going to look this up now!
Hi I really want to talk to you in private I need help advice with my parent and a person at work. Please!!!!!!
Feel free to email me at the email in the description below!
Hi Tamara, I will also contact you, thanks for your educative videos
They’re psychopaths
RFS