The Biggest Red Flag For Toxic People
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- čas přidán 29. 01. 2023
- Have you ever hired a "energy vampire"? Someone who just sucks the life out of the office... In today’s video, Patrick Bet-David talks about how to spot red flags when hiring and how to filter them out.
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It is difficult for me to not be nice. But I have learned to be hard against toxic people. Some of them even called themselves my friend.
Me too man. They don't even hold themselves accountable for their actions when everything is said and done. They are just incapable of being a real friends, and they don't even realize that.
WONDER IF PAT KNOWS THE AVG HEIGHT OF ARMENIANS IS 5 FOOT 7 AND THE AVG HEIGHT OF BLK DUDES WORLD WIDE IS 5 FOOT 6....
I THINK PAT LEANS IN ON HIS HIEIGHT FOR HIS EGO WAY TOO MUCH MUCH....THE ENTIRETY OF THE NBA REPRESENTS LIKE .00000000001% OF THE ENTIRE BLK POPULATION.....
Whhooooo, you’ve seen that too.
The most toxic people are people that pretend to be your friends but only want to use you and are no longer friends with you after they get what they wanted
@@Stopinvadingmyhardware
PAT CAREFUL AROUND BLK TOPICS....HE AINT EVEN DO A VIDEO ON.THAT AWRFUL MLK STATUE....ALL THESE SUPPOSED NONPC PEOPLE ARE COWARDS
As I get older I notice my level of patience is higher now but tolerance for toxic or narcissistic people is quite low. I simply stop communicating with them and even go out of my way to avoid them or not sit next to them if at the same function.
Facts. I was let go of a job but I don't feel my like talking about them. Working in bad environments tells me I need to look at myself and see how to self correct.
I respecte you ,
Me too! But there's so many of them now.
@@lydiamalone1859 they didn't skyrocket in numbers. You are just self-centered
I have a brother-in-law who no one likes in my family. He created a scene with me with the intent to embarrass me. Now, if he comes to any event I just don’t go. Saved me a lot of problems since then.
Being an infj, I used to find it hard to believe that some people can’t pick up on these patterns and energy reeking off of others. Used to think it was a curse noticing small details of everyone in my environment but now I see it was a blessing all along.
Well said!
Here's a list for those in a hurry:
1.) Too much flattery
2.) Can only say bad about their prior 3 companies
it's fucking 5 minutes long
I realized what the toxic trait red flag was as soon as 1:06 came up. It's not a hard and fast rule because before I had my own business, I was a hard worker for other people, I usually had the hugest BPH in any of my terminals but I still complained a lot because these companies 100% do take advantage of you and could care less, and why would anyone enjoy wasting 50 to 70 hours of your week making other people rich?
@@cristiplopeanu 😆😆
@@cristiplopeanu TikTok has ruined their attention spans
@@SatoshiFibonacci how he speaks is the most testing. anything he says is a "matter of fact" because he thinks he knows better rather than address his guests and audience with an ability to comprehend while listening to you, rather than prepare a counterstatement going off topic, just watch any of his shouting matched with guests, it's childish. His co hosts are the real stars. They might not know as much as him but they seem to seek understanding rather than hard "yes or no" postitions
It's crucial to find people in life who choose better stories.
yeah i remember when I realized that I just have to limit my time around the negative people.
Well said. This vid has nothing but commonsensical stuff, but OK reminders.
Have you ever that coworker who you tried to help along the way but found out he was two faced and just trying to take your spot by sabotaging you? Thats what I am dealing with. It’s extremely difficult to be nice and even stand in his presence but I stay grounded and rooted in my own work performance I make sure I keep my bosses happy.
How many people learned from this but also at the same time soul searched to pick up on whether any of these might have applied to yourself? That’s how I always feel going in to lessons like these
Facts the first thing I did was look in the mirror took accountability for my actions and said you know what this is where I’m the problem but also looked at what I genuinely liked about each company I worked at as well
@@xanhendrix5061 👍👍👍👏👏👏
People who say “I’m tired of all the drama” or “I’m sick of toxic people” are usually the exact same people doing both.
When you confront assholes it results in drama, so even if you don't want drama, you can easily be pulled in.
FACTS
Yeah, my wife comes home with the same story and despite years of therapy, she's yet to figure out her role in all of her drama.
I never experienced that
Im so sick of Biden and the Democrats. : )
Why are the employers never held accountable? It’s always the employee.
If you get enough fed-up employees that leave all at once, the top people tend to get taken out for it.
I worked for a few places that had great managers that retired only to be replaced with self-serving pinheads. No matter how bad the lower level employee turnover rates went up the top ownership would not look at who and why it became a thing that once was never an issue with our branch.
It took all of us at the bottom walking out one day and the company losing a million plus dollar a year contract to get them to take a hard look at their replacement manager having been the source of the new problem the whole time.
the only toxic person Patrick Bet-David. This moron is on top and does not see the garbage at the bottom level. Don't waste your time with these half truths. You heard it your self everyone kisses his as* so he does not know the B.S. that goes on amongst coworkers and supervisor and cliental. So miss me with that!
Damn, I am really frustrated with the way things are going with my portfolio. I just hope this bullish move will hold for sometime so I could take a little percentage off the market, I have lost a lot. 😞😞😞
@chinhwadave3928 Who is your mentor?
@vickisams2557 That's impressive I will look her up ASAP
Hello chatGPT how r u
Great video! I was a corporate headhunter and dealt with engineers. One doesn't need a PHD in psychology to know that everything you said is completely accurate!
First and foremost, I love these short videos. *Your 5-minute video made me hit pause, think, rewind and absorb the information.*
My gf's family is pure drama. I have removed them from my life and it feels amazing. Thank you, PBD.
I used to hire for convenience stores that had a systematic interview form. When I started I thought the question; #1. What you loved about last job #2. What you hated about last job; I felt it was simplistic and time wasting. What a surprise when the same problem at last job would come up within a month of hiring. And the part they loved gave a glimpse into their priorities, helping me be a better boss if they were worthy of continuing work with us.
Could you explain more. You peaked my interest.
As I became older and more seasoned about "people" in general I started "interviewing" would be employers, I walked away from several that appeared to be great positions for various reasons, one for example was easy, "if I want to take a long weekend a year from now would that be a problem?", if the answer was yes I cutoff the interview and walked, NO job can keep anyone worth anything with an attitude like that toward an employee, the would be employer has "control freak" written all over them.
Employment is 2 way street if you expect to keep professionals.
@@menumlor9365 As an example, I had interviewed someone who said their least favorite thing was they were the only one picking up the slack when the store was short staffed, and all of her coworkers were lazy. Within the first month, she volunteered every time there was a need, but then spent days if not weeks on how inconvenient and unfair it had been that she worked the extra shifts she had volunteered for. She also started a toxic atmosphere of everyone criticizing each other's work. So basically she didn't recognize her pattern. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have given her the overtime, and I would have confronted the criticisms of her co-workers right away. Many interviewee's would cite racism or sexism as the biggest problem in their last job, and within a month would be claiming those problems in present time.
As far as best thing, it would give a clue to what was most important to them. Could be scheduling, friendliness and pleasant work environment, money, benefits or recognition. If someone said their co-workers were the greatest thing about their previous job, usually they'd be a delight to work around and get along well with everyone. If they said money, then I knew it was important to help them attain better positions and train them up for promotion. Scheduling usually meant they had over whelming responsibilities outside of work and a set schedule might work best for them. Helped me be a better leader.
@@jodihouts6032 I thought about this but I'm unsure whether loving former colleagues means allways something because it could be the case that You are mistaken when putting up the measure (no, offence just a hypothetical explanation). I think however this can be circumvented by not considering onesself measure as asolut but leaving a door open for the rare unkown cases. Anyway, I came up only with this so far:
You have people that work hard for the sake of this or to identify themselves as such or You have people that work hard because of e.g. their conciousness (this and that must be done to keep the process going & etc)
So both could go up the ladder but the former would decide rather careless or generic on e.g. policies that might have an impact to people than the latter, who (maybe) would base their decision on conciousness or in consideration of the implication. So I'm portraying this to an (for the lack of better words) either totaliran vs. sustainable/growth promoting mindset.
@@fickgooglefickthem6884 Lol. Yes, that is why I said usually. Also keep in mind this was for convenience store clerks, by all measures not really a desirable job, and always in need of workers.
Loved this. Another red flag is to watch how they treat people who they perceive will not offer them any benefits i.e how they treat wait staff, valets etc. This is a good indicator. If they treat wait staff like trash you will end up next.
the only toxic person Patrick Bet-David. This moron is on top and does not see the garbage at the bottom level. Don't waste your time with these half truths. You heard it your self everyone kisses his as* so he does not know the B.S. that goes on amongst coworkers and supervisor and cliental. So miss me with that!
Bought your recommended book years ago Patrick "101 Questions to ask before you get engaged". I'm newly married now and it was a weekly thing we included during our discussions. God bless and thank you for blessing my life.
It's wild that individuals don't see the pattern for themselves. People like to think they are Rockstars until it's time for them to perform.
...........or you get hired to come in to clean up the mess then get treated like shit once the crisis is over only for them to create their own nightmares blaming everyone but their culture and repeat the cycle.
@MerlinxPV That can absolutely happen as well. No disagreement here, the only caveat here is the pattern of a person that constantly finds only faults or blames prior companies for their lack of success. We all know those people I work with some myself. They have a unique ability to find fault in everyone but themself. IMO
@@KOV12X12 No doubt there are those (poor) employees, my experience is some great companies hire sucky management that for some reason push out talent, maybe their insecurities(?), who knows.
@MerlinxPV Employees that perform great in spite of sucky management are my type of people. Those kind of employees typically aren't complainers or look for excuses.
Fortunately I do think more people are becoming aware but you see them mostly in groups and channels like this.
I use to complain a lot to friends/ family not at work . The emotional intelligence came later in life from a combination of learning psychology and reflecting on experiences.
If there was not an abundance of people like
Patrick or Jordan Peterson I wouldn't have
The information necessary to reach certain conclusions and solutions.
This happened to me... in my personal life and with my company. The good news, it changed the way I date and do business. I had an ex. boyfriend come back into my life and totally future faked me. He spoke so badly about his ex. wife. Huge red flag.
Now, I only deal with people who are empowering and healthy... and who makes everyone a better human being... Good video.
Do you know for sure his ex-wife is a reasonable person?
@@anakein If someone gossips or talks negatively about others behind their backs, be sure you’ll be the topic of convo next. When people send me clips of conversations they’ve had, another big red flag. I value privacy. They do not.
Bingo. I was just talking about this topic. Be on your toes when someone downs the previous person they were with, and they are praising you. Eventually they will be putting you down soon enough. This is what Narcissists and other toxic people do.
Really appreciate these points. However having recruited hundreds of people, I know some that are genuinely great and have had genuinely bad consecutive experiences. The only two differences I would say is that they accept part of the responsibility as to why those experiences have been negative and they reflect on lessons learned and how they can avoid similar ones in the future. Poor practices can be prevalent in certain industries especially where employment laws are not evolved. Regarding flattery, it’s possible that those individuals are quick to form impressions about someone before they get to know them. What I’ve found to be very telling is when someone tells you about their great achievements but when you ask them to go through details of how they did it, they are unable to give you specifics or step-by-step process.
Like you said in small words, ensuite 14-18 when we had time to mesures during 14-13
And yet today. Those haters, those who give nothing have a shit load of those people .
This is textbook owner class being delusional. Unless it's really small or a mom and pop, these companies do not care about you, take advantage of you, to make an analogy they would step over your dying body if you were having a heart attack. I freelance now but it's just amazing how society tries to shame you for "not being grateful" or whatever the fk, when these companies are paying you a 10th of what your labor or work generates gtfoh bro. I used to tell my coworkers about my aspirations/talk about the bad work experiences that made me want to be my own boss and most of them would get uncomfortable and try and shame me like this mindset behind this video.
WONDER IF PAT KNOWS THE AVG HEIGHT OF ARMENIANS IS 5 FOOT 7 AND THE AVG HEIGHT OF BLK DUDES WORLD WIDE IS 5 FOOT 6....
I THINK PAT LEANS IN ON HIS HIEIGHT FOR HIS EGO WAY TOO MUCH MUCH....THE ENTIRETY OF THE NBA REPRESENTS LIKE .00000000001% OF THE ENTIRE BLK POPULATION.....
On point Muriel Al - Mufti, I remember getting run through a production facility being tested at numerous work positions performing each way above standard, this as a result of showing up to apply for the job ready to perform, proper attire and tools. I was rapidly selected as the interviewer asked me if I was "serious" having listed so many skills on application, after the extended test session at each station the company was anxious to negotiate hiring me but rather than offer they asked what it would take to hire me. When I told them what I want they immediately scoffed at my proposal citing "I don't even make that kind of money" to which I replied "that's because I can do your job too but you can't do mine" to which we went our separate ways. Around a month later the company began pestering me to come back and "negotiate", at this point even if they came through with my demands it was most likely not going to be long tern, I have already been down the road of being hired to "clean up the mess" only to pushed aside after the crisis is averted to suddenly go from hero to zero on a whim.
I already knew it wasn’t healthy to say these type of things but now I can articulate why and predict future behavior. As someone who was recently moved up into a management position, thanks Patrick this advice is pure gold
I’m toxic as f and I enjoy other people being toxic as well, normally this indicates a level of honesty. One sure way to implement change is to encourage others to be toxic as well. People don’t rebel because everything is peachy. They rebel because things are crap and polluted, this in return leads to them being toxic. It’s all about the environment and how we respond to it. When corruption reigns supreme sometimes the only thing left to do is rebel and if that requires you to be toxic in order to seed sedition then so be it. Let the chips fall where they may!
But it's funny how he doesn't mention that some companies are toxic or they're great and then a manager or boss comes in and they're toxic. I've been with companies that I loved only to leave because the next manager was a piece of shit.
Love your videos 😊 I use them in class to discuss with my students who are young adults. You're so inspiring and I love how you deliver the message without too much extra talk.
I was at NYL for 2 years. Met amazing people, learned a lot about myself and how to network and hold myself accountable. A lot of people came and went, probably 99% of the people I worked with except the people who were already established there when I started.
Although I wanted to do something else after 2 long, stressful years, I held zero resentment towards anyone, and I was even telling people who were younger than me to give it a shot and see what happens. most of them didn't even bother though. Money aside, the learning experience alone is worth more than the college degree you just got.
I have 2 parents that are like this. They make a great first impression on people, and then use them as much as possible, and everyone else is to blame. I have moved about 10,000 km's away from them and my life has never been better. I still communicate with them sometimes so they don't cause massive issues but other than those times my life is good. Their life together is a permanent argument. Both my siblings left the country also. Their lives improved dramatically.
it's unfortunate it happens & it can be corrected but it's pointless if both don't understand the art of communication.
No matter the circumstances; there is always a silver lining, always something to learn, always a way to grow.
Man this so true as I was watching this I sat and realized I was with a girl not long ago she would always be bashing her ex's then like you said I was eventually the next ex she started bashing,it's a real eye opener and Big Red Flag
It is also called taking responsibility for your own actions. Making valuable mistakes and learning from them so they are not repeated. I know, I was one of them. What I also learned was that I march to a different beat from most women and have very traditional values which do not coincide with them, and so that too is not a good fit. Being open and receptive to personalities and values that differ from yours at the interview stage is very important on both sides of the table. For several years now, I have not worked in an office environment to avoid all this in the first place. I excel when there is an ever changing environment of people around me and that is where my comfort level is lifted to a higher plane and I can succeed better. But that is me.
Thankful you got back to Monday videos. Cheers Pat
I learn a lot from these videos. Keep them coming, and I will keep watching.
Much love and respect.
This is a great video, the principal behind it is simple and absolutely true. It remains true for any interpersonal relationship business or otherwise. It's a personal defect of character to constantly blame others for your own bad feelings, experiences or failure.
THIS DESERVES ... "MIC DROP" on all levels, relationships! Work personal, even self! after Watching my algo gonme here, I subscribed. Great truisms hard to find
Thanks PBD Always enjoy and learn from your stuff
Loving this precise advice you’ve been giving lately.
Brilliant video Pat 🙌🏽 Thank you for always sharing your knowledge!
"I don't solve for perfection, I solve for results"... I'm stealing that one.
Amen. Great episode, apreciate you big time. Thanks
Thank you for all of the expertise and insight you continually share with all of us!!
I have used this to hire for about 8 years. When I started my business I kinda forgot to do this because I wanted to help everyone and gave them a benefit of a doubt. Came back and bit me in the ass. Now I always hire depending on their work history.
Good Job, PATRICK
...I went in to go door to door selling pots n pans ...training under a 'Toxic' salesman
during the demo I interjected a question that I knew the customer was wanting to ask but was afraid because the guy was talking fast and trying to get out of there ...outside the place he got in my face about interrupting his demo
...needless to say I ended training and went out alone with a better plan ...I would demo a meal out of their kitchen and take my time with the salient points
...I made my first, second, third sale in a day and in 6 months had my own territory
...I never revealed my 'Trick-of-the-Trade'
Thanks, Patrick for your well considered training lessons
#WELLDONE
Great clip, awesome interview tips as well!
Thanks you always have great content I learn a lot from your videos
Your channel and information has changed my perspective on how I view things. Thank you.
Indeed. Every aspect of life your statements are true. Thank you for reminding.
Excellent advice again. Thank you 👍🏻
As usual you are great, thank you big man...
Absolutely right on.
Damn good stuff! All facts and purely conventional advice. Thanks for your work sir🤙
I've used and observed how people Drive and Golf as examples on peoples caricature. Like if when driving are they cautious, aggressive or courteous towards other's for some examples , And the same with Golfing do they cheat , competitiveness etc. This idea was brought to my attention from a boss years ago on how he picked someone to be a supervisor for his company.
Good points !!
Thank u for shattering. We create the reality
Great vid and advice from a great man.
Great insight and advice. Thank you.
Thanks amazing insights
It takes a lot of experience and inner awareness to know when people are toxic
Great staff from a very smart gentleman. Thanks a lot.
Keep up the great work Patrick!
I wish I had known this at the beginning of my career. thank you for sharing!
Love this dude.
This is so on point!
This has been very helpful.
Spot on!
Great piece of advice. Wish more people would follow it
Very clear 🙌
The content was great now the visuals have also improved nice to watch progress!
Thank you sir for this great video
Omg why didn't I see it sooner?! You are so 100% right My boyfriend and I just broke up and now if I think back 7 months ago when I 1st met him I think for the 1st 2 weeks I was with him all he did was talk smack about his ex I always feel like he was waiting for you I need to do something wrong Just so his narrative was right and he could end it saying that it was somebody else and not him
Thank you for everything you do in business coaching lessons for teaching everything as you do for coachmen ship 🚢 💰📝🔒🍵🧿
Mostly the same for relationships...if comes with many bad stories about the ex and now you are the best, you are the perfect, you are the one... it's a huge red flag. All people leave the relationship for something that isn't working anymore...however if the person do not show small respect for previous partner...you are going to be the next they blame on cause they couldn't get what they want from you. Thank you for sharing this 🙏
Completely correct!
Yup, the minute you see a negative trend in the behavior that very likely means the person is toxic or pathological. These are pretty good indicators to pay attention to and learn from. However, this applies to estimating the employers too.
Thank you again for great advice 😊
the only toxic person Patrick Bet-David. This moron is on top and does not see the garbage at the bottom level. Don't waste your time with these half truths. You heard it your self everyone kisses his as* so he does not know the B.S. that goes on amongst coworkers and supervisor and cliental. So miss me with that!
This is just pure gold.
He is spot on watch out for instant/immediate flattery; the employee playing the blame game and talking bad about the company. It is the individual. The sad part is they don’t see it is themselves; not the company.
Same goes with friendships/coworkers. If they gossip about others, be sure you will be the next subject of their conversation.
Solid advice
Excellent video as always Patrick! You always manage to make complex concepts accessible and enjoyable. Keep up the great work!
You find this concept complex? God our education system in America sucks 🤦♂️
@@DM-hl3bx I don't think this is something you learn in school... (not an American btw)
brother you are giving me the viber off a father who tryes to look out for his sons i could real haved use all this 10 years ago but better late then never i guess much love and great job on the video and andrew gives me this big brother you guys are good for this world and this point and time
Totally agree patrick. Sold cars for 2 years at 2 dealership. One was a maker i loved and still do. I did ok but knew other people were making way more than me. I learned at the end that i am not a salesman and did not enjoy it. The things i learned about financing from those two years have stuck with me forever. That time was so important for me that i wouldnt not trade it in but i also know its not for me. I enjoy my current profession more now.
Next massive red flag, someone who has ran or been part of the managing team of any and all MLM-type based companies. Also, a yellow flag for anyone who is a career-long salesperson
Man you came a long way. I can remember the time when you had the boards up and talking money. Goood man !!
SO SIMPLE but most are too blind to notice the obvious, including me. thank you for taking my blinders off, i constantly have people like this in my life and always wondered why/how does hard working, benefit of the doubt, optimistic, glass half full type of person, constantly attract pessimistic, negative, glass half empty type of women. ive been looking in the mirror questioning if im the toxic person since i dont have much luck with my love life. however, i have many long tenured, non-toxic relationships with clients, business associates, friends, and family so ive concluded that its my choice of woman. they all have a similar personality and i repeat the cycle because i didnt realize that theyre using my urge to protect to my detriment and when theyre telling me about how bad, violent, invasive, self-conscience, jealous, insecure, and narcissistic their ex was, i want to show them how a real man treats a woman.....2nd time now im that ex when thats far from the truth. it pisses me off that i saw all the red flags and didnt think for 1 second that im going to be that guy shes telling me about next....THANK YOU
💯, all the time. It's the person who chooses to see his subjective negative in situations, people, companies described by Pat. Some additional points to what Pat said:
1. YOU cannot change them. 300 hours later and thousands of dollars lost, you'll realise you've beaten a dead horse.
2. Ask fact finding questions to those people, so you'll know what to avoid in the future and to understand how they think.
3. Stay away from toxic people, in general, is a good life advice.
Like always SOOOOO GOOD!
Thanks for taking the time putting these well-made informative videos together. Dr. Kay Sobhe, Certified Rug Specialist, Certified Rug Appraiser, Rug Ideas (since 1953) Los Angeles
Thank you
I apply this same philosophy to relationships with women. I tell her what I expect and make it clear what I will or will not accept. I also tell her there are no second chances. If she tries anything I don’t like I drop her immediately. These kind of people who either complain or test limits will never have my back and will talk bad about me behind my back. It is always my fault 😂. Even though it may cause some hurt feelings, my attitude about the relationship has saved me a lot of headaches.
Your hand isn’t a woman bud
I don't know why you'd bother laying out the rules and expectations to give someone a playbook. Just watch them reveal themselves for who they are and then decide if that's for you or not.
Flattery I agree with you, the bad companies I dont agree with you Pat. Companies are managed by people, and lots of people have hidden agendas sugar coated by false niceties. My last two work experiences were night mares because of "Leadership" that prioritizes political correctness (named as social skills) over execution and delivery. I resigned both times and do not regret it for a second.
Exact same thing with me bro. Both minumum wage retail gigs, both violating California labor laws. Corporate America can gargle my sack.
Finally someone who gets it!
Thank you.
That is half the people I work with! Ooooopsie, when I hear those red flags I always try my best to point out what you're saying and let those chips fall. Seems to work out in the end
That is interesting and I agree to a certain point. But one has to also assume that people don't change for this to be the case.
Patrick, I'm always willing to stop & listen to your musings, especially when you include your perspective and dispense free advice. Thumbs up!
*_TRUST !!_*
OMG Pat I don’t wanna sound like a complainer but I understand your pain 😅😅😅😅😅……keep up the excellent work 🎉🎉🎉 Blessings on Blessings
Thumbs up .. I got value.. cheers
I agree that those red flags. If there's something I learned about the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", is that you need to be a hypocrite for people to like you. Even if you think that the previous employers sucked, don't say it because people do not want to hear it.
I'm an electrician & own operate my own company. I cannot stress how true this is !
Can only tolerate toxic people before I finally have enough.And walk away.
My experience has been maybe it takes a lot of company’s to work for to find the right one. When I found the right pay and benefits I stood at the same company for 30 years. But if that don’t work for a person maybe he needs to be in business for himself. Right now I have been enjoying my retirement for seventeen years and enjoying my benefits that I have earned from the company I worked for for 30 years. Sincerely Gieuseppi from Michigan🦅👁🇺🇸😎
very informative 👍
Pat, how did yu make your fortune?? I love your yu tube channel. You are the best interviewer!!!