Why Being Embarrassed Is Good For You
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Embarrassment. Awkwardness. Cringe. No matter what you call it. it’s one of the most unique human emotions, and one that’s particularly hard to figure out. But if a feeling exists and has lasted through evolution, then it probably has a purpose!
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So what’s your most embarrassing moment? 😂
How do Babies respond to optical illusions .if their brains don't have an expectation. And doesn't uncanny valley show our brains are actually good at detecting fakeness
I'm gonna be honest here Joe, I don't think I really have a most embarrassing moment that I can recall but one memory that I have where I was really embarrassed was when I through a rock no more the size of a grain of sand at a pregnant woman's belly. I was like maybe 5 or 6 at the time and I remember thinking to myself "what have I done!?" as Anakin Skywalker did in Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith. Man, that wasn't very pleasant and I have never done anything like that since then just to set the record straight.
Man it's so embarrassing I can't even find the words to describe it :")
probably any of my "thought" based work in my early 20s.
Let's just say I couldn't keep dinner in my stomach
Walking around like that doesn't seem like it's THAT embarrassing. No need to make such a big dill about it.
Well played!
@@besmart getting wedged embarrassing 😐
"Big dill" i am embarrassed for you bro
@@mirachowdhury2538 it's a joke - he is a 'dill' pickle
@@mirachowdhury2538 don't worry because that is actually GOOD for you!
Seriously respect for this guy AND his camera crew 😂
plot twist. no camera crew, he ask random people to hold the camera
I’m getting secondhand embarrassment hearing all of these embarrassing situations. 😂
I giggled with the credit card chick. 😂
wow you must be an empath
It's Vicarious Embarrassment, jeez, didn't ya watch the video?
You're getting vicarious embarrassment.
That’s almost third-hand at this point
Imho, not being embarrassed is strength that can be used for good or evil.
True. I went to high school with a guy who was, apparently, incapable of embarrassment. He may also have been a sociopath, but he was highly intelligent and one of those people who only needs five hours of sleep per night. He's now a very wealthy real estate mogul, but could just as easily have wound up in prison or murdered, due to the huge number of people he pissed off.
🔸Some societies have used peer pressure and embarrassment to make us conform. Antisemitism in World War 2 Germany is a sad example of people being trained to be antisemitic. Good manners and getting along with others are good things for society But good manners don’t mean that you always follow what the crowd determines acceptable if it is not good.
pretty much yes!!
@@meganblasco2 that's how society works. Just like the world today forcing people to accept homosexual.
to be cringe is to be free o7
I was at the checkout in the grocery store and the cashier had done her hair in a really pretty way and I wanted to tell her it was nice so I said "I love the way you did your hair today! It's really pretty!" Well she looked at me super weirdly and goes "Have we met before or something? I don't know you"
I didn't realize the way I said that implied I knew her.. I made it worse by trying to explain myself and laugh it off but she was super uncomfortable and I sounded like a creepy stalker. I wanted to turn invisible
That's on the cashier... she could have just replied, "Thank you, so nice of you to say that" without becoming self-righteously indignant. Then, what do I know, I'm basically a old fuddy-duddy Biden boomer at this point.
You did great. The other girl is actually an outcast.
Depending on her tone, her response could be interpreted as her feeling like she did know you and feel close to you. Sucks having to explain yourself in response but maybe "I don't think so, just thought I'd say that" or something like that. In a world where people stifle compliments and kind words, people are not used to receiving honest compliments
Ah..... What a terrible reaction she had to that. I think I would die inside for a good minute or so if someone said this to me after simply giving a lighthearted compliment.
It's because you said you loved the way she did her hair "today", that makes it sound like you have seen her on more than one occasion instead of just saying. "Hey, I like your hair". Maybe it came off as overly pandering too.
This is one of this channels best videos. The emotion of embarrassment is so universal yet when experiencing this emotion, we all feel so alone.
Would y'all quit saying we? And then get over it?
@@SolaceEasy we
@@SolaceEasy we
@@SolaceEasy we
@@SolaceEasy we
Btw, it’s not normal to feel embarrassed for just existing in this world.
That’s how I feel any time I’m in public. Social anxiety and the feeling of being embarrassed just by being out there lol. I hate myself so much.
Yeah, i hate any interactions with humans. Be it a positive or negative, it all feels awkward.
I wouldn’t call that embarrassment. I call that social anxiety or possibly a symptom of childhood trauma. I spent decades living that way.
Exposure therapy
Doing "embarassing" or scary things over and over but willing to do what you want in you heart builds a mental muscle.... is called having courage.
The courage to be yourself.
yeah, as someone smart said, courage is not an absence of fear, but a strengh to overcome that fear
9:12 the woman really said that people feel embarrassed because the brain makes you feel embarrassed.
Yeah, felt like she was trying to be real smart but said the most basic words of obviousness
@@darkydoom She should be embarrassed
I feel embarrassed for her 😳😳
My brain made me feel embarrassed for her because the brain makes you feel embarrassed
Feeling embarrassed but powering through it and learning to be more comfortable with this feeling is very liberating. I recommend:)
How good it will be if doing this is as easy as saying this😐
@@royalfamily5531 Just do it! Worse thing that can happen is people laughing at you. Which means you've enlightened their boring days of not doing anything embarrassing at all costs - so you can be proud of your previous embarrassment as it's a public service or some what.
Once you pop you'll never stop. You'll conquer your life one day, mate! :)
I've never related more to someone than I have the moment I heard her tell her story about the chair fart move.
My story is to reload!
Note to self: Chair move does not work. Fall back on reliable "The dog did it! Get out of here Fido!"
@@jonmcdaniel8492
That isn’t going to work in a classroom setting, like she described.
I went bowling, to the arcade, and to a restaurant while wearing a hot dog costume. Never felt more confident in my life when I wore it.
same, once i went to uni in a Totoro costume!!! that was a blast
@12:58 - that's the real problem with modern 'embarrassment' - it's actively used by people to constrain and force others. I can no longer agree to any model that talks only of the passive mechanics of childish embarrassment. It's a damn weapon of pressure used by people to make other people feel shitty and below them, both individually and class-based.
Nobody says that biology and psychology can't be used as a weapon. But that doesn't make them any inherently villainous. That's on the user.
@@thangri-la The title of the video literally calls it "good for you," which becomes increasingly untrue as your social identity gets further from "fiscally-secure white abled neurotypical straight cis man." Taking issue with a demonstrably harmful *framing* is not the same as calling the phenomenon itself "villainous." ANY value judgement is unsound, not just the negative one. Success is not goodness.
@@akhragee Embarrassment is used to reinforce social norms and punish anything that violates those social norms. There's a huge range of social behavior. Humans life is very complex. That being said, if you're part of tiny fringe group minority, then get ready for some embarrassment. Unusual and abnormal behavior isn't always accepted or praised by the group.
Humans society has always had a social hierarchy. Did you actually think you could sit down at a birthday party for someone you don't even know? That would be embarrassing because it violates social rules. You don't have membership in that group, you don't have status and you'd be seen as an outsider. You agree to thousands of different social terms and you definitely feel embarrassed when some of those rules are broken. Everyone believes in class and status based systems. How would you like it if the new rookie got paid and promoted instead of you? Lol
In modern society a lot of people are trying to emotionally manipulate the other‘s.. that‘s a really big problem.., but yeah what ya wanna do abt it like abt all these other global issues🤷🏽♂️
one of the best scientific content creator out there, we really appreciate the effort and consistency.
i have social anxiety so i feel embarrassed about everything i do and say just in case 👍
as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow if you haven't already!!
to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv.
plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well.
have a great day! 💗
That guy's shirt was so embarrassed it blurred itself out.
underrat4r
Shame along with guilt and fear can be used against us to manipulate us. Manipulative people are garbage. 💜
Absolutely. Can't believe they didn't talk about this particular aspect of shame despite that one interviewee literally talking about his experience with being bullied.
I'd learned at a very young age: if you defeat this emotion, life will become much simpler.
BTW: We all know Austin is the weird part of Texas, so it shouldn't be so embarrassing :v
@Don Za for me, I simply do things out of my comfort zone, not too extreme. Such things as wearing clothes that I am embaressed to wear, or go to the gym. I also train myself to have a not givivng a f*ck mindset, I basically manipulate myself to think in a way that time passes quick and anything I have done does not matter ^embaressing thing^
One of the best ways of training your self in my experience (I have thought this to someone else and it does work guarantee.
Same. When I was a little kid, I realized that I was feeling this "emotion", and I deemed it unnecessary. The way I dealt with it was just ignoring its existence. Eventually I didn't feel it much, or even at all. Same goes for shyness. I deemed that unnecessary, and now here I am, a carefree behavior, lol.
@@inanothertime5227 self reflection is imp sis👍
@@paromita_ghosh definitely!
@@inanothertime5227
But why would you want to wear clothes that you find embarrassing instead of ones you actually like and feel confident in ?
I experienced the biggest load of embarrassment in my second year of high school, I was bullied for unknown reasons, I was there just for studying, but people didn't want to be my friend.
istg bullies are the worst. they don't even need a clear reason to pick on someone, they just make up any reason for the sake of being mean. i figured that out when i was bullied for wearing a straw hat and watching a cartoon at 14 😂✌️
Someone should do research on alcohol consumption and the lack of embarrassment and how it can affect you after sobering up
I never thought about embarrassment like this way.
In the middle-age zone and I'm slowly noticing the whole "you care less as you get older" thing more... and I sooooo wanna reach the point where I can go out in public and not care about how I look.. or smell.. or act..!!
I think it really varies. There are plenty of old people who REALLY care about public behavior.
Im 17 and people say i act like an old man because i dont care what i look like to others and seem cool about it somehow despite being odd...
I'm 62 and waving my Magic Wand Over You. Poof! You got it!
I believe that because at some certain point in your life, you have already experienced enough embarrassment to know which things you should avoid and which things you can just do without the public caring.
And that's why people who're older prone to go senile.
I think feeling embarrassment shows how much we care of what others think of us.
I know when I was a kid I felt embarrassed a lot, and back then I also cared way too much of what others thought of me.
Now as an adult, it’s been around 8 years since I last felt embarrassed, and I think it’s mainly because I don’t care as much about what others think of me anymore.
I’ve been told I’m awkward a few times by different people, and instead of feeling embarrassed when they said this, I was just perplexed and curious as to what made them say that.
It bothered me in the sense that it was just random and confusing, but it didn’t bother me in a way that made me want to find out why they said that lol
I agree with you, but I also feel that as a kid we are all likely to go though embarrassing moments because it’s our first time navigating the world and it’s social rules. Kids will make lots of mistakes in the world as they try to understand it
Sometimes I like being awkward or cringe. It’s… Idk, it’s kind of refreshing because we’re so stuck up in these rules of society. It gives me an adrenaline rush and puts me out of my comfort zone which then makes me feel like I can do things if I want to. And, it’s somewhat also a bonding emotion. Everyone can relate to being awkward or having embarrassing or cringe moments. It’s authentic.
Sooo, I just laugh it off and I am fine with it. I embrace awkward moments.
…as long as it’s not hurting anyone ofc
Oh and sometimes I love being awkward to see others absolutely cringe because of it. It’s fun ;)
I have a friend who at lunchtime gets really loud and even stands up to point at someone sitting at our table. He’s making a bit of a fool of himself and obviously other people then look at us. Most of us then get awkward or we just start laughing like crazy because it’s somehow so ridiculous. It’s great bonding and it’s always fun with that dude :).
Thank you, Joe, for doing your part to keep Austin weird!
I was thinking the same thing 😂😎
I wonder if the editor of this video will be embarrassed if it's pointed out that whilst direct faces in the background were often blurred... the reflections in shop windows weren't ?
It's the holidays... it's the thought that counts 😂
If people who readily admit mistakes and don't get embarrassed easily are also considered humble then does that make people who are easily embarrassed less humble? Maybe being more forgiving towards ourselves and others defeats the tyranny of societal pressures.
I loved this. Have a lovely day u loveliest soul with em kind vibes!!
Toodles! Stay Bright Doves! 🕊️
Xoxo ❤️
This is an interesting observation.
@@ChemistTea How can we trust our innate emotional reactions? For example, we're more likely to empathize with a box of kittens than a box of lizards even if those cats will wipe out defenseless native species in Hawaii drastically reducing biodiversity.
@@dangerfly I suppose our innate emotional reactions are more relevant to our immediate safety, kittens are less likely to kill you then lizards. But I don't think you can trust those when dealing with more global issues, like the natural balance of the ecosystem. And there have been examples where people relied on good feelings and by doing so brought about great destruction such as wiping out entire species.
@@ChemistTea Emotions come from the core-like limbic system in contrast to the prefrontal cortex responsible for planning. I've always assumed having life-preserving emotional reflexes closer to the stem is better for faster danger avoidance.
We're smooshing dog snouts (pugs/bulldogs) to the point that they have breathing issues. I'd argue it's our empathy that causes us to prioritize neoteny to this degree. What do you think?
social anxiety is afraid of him ☠️
Simulating Embarrassment though communication can be a tool for teaching others what to avoid. In it's worst form, it can be used to manipulate groups of people into seeing embarrassment where there should be none. In truth, the particular embarrassment can be unlearned, and you may be the molder of your own mind.
9:19 Hell yeah for the anthropology (and psychology) terms used to make a solid argument. Made me smile.
The arguments are based on the fallacy that emotions are real Beyond thoughts. I don't believe emotions are real for animals.
@@SolaceEasy, but they are
@@SolaceEasy cool story bro
@@SolaceEasy In the Platonic sense of real, perhaps emotions do not exist beyond our thoughts and perceptions. But the same thing could be said about spatial dimensions; they may not exist beyond our perception. Still, this 'grid of space,' much like emotions, describes the world around us well.
That said, I do not see the connection to her arguments. Might you clarify?
That explains why I skip embarrassing scenes in tv shows
We care about what people think of us. Guess it comes with forms of self awareness
We care too much about what people think about us and look what it gets us.
@@SolaceEasy pointless paranoia and discomfort around people. It does go both ways though. Humans can be very judgemental over the smallest things
@@SolaceEasy people judge others wether you like it or not. You can't just go for the "I don't care what people think of me at all" since it won't benefit you long term and it can make you unlikebale. Opinions are everywhere but that's not a reason to act like we don't care about them
He turned himself into a pickle. Funniest thing I've ever seen.
He really did just that
I have anxiety and go through difficult situations every day but it's still not getting better
I know how you feel😢
That girl was 💯 about the ego. When your front crumbles and there's an undeniable shame that goes with it is an absolute bruise.
My embarrassment has taught me to just avoid all other humans because all actions are wrong and harmful, which is probably making me a better human I guess.
Hey joe. I think a good secondary video about this could show the benefits of not feeling embarrassed.
(when u should be.)
like when she said "you gained my respect."
Cringe is the feeling you get when you see someone make NFTs of themselves as a cowboy, an astronaut, and a superhero 😂
And one of the potential rewards for buying the NFT is dinner with the guy, which he gave to a ɪnsɑne ʜɨtleɾ-loving rapper and some ʜoloçɑust Dɛnɨeɾ he apparently doesn't even know about for without them having to buy anything....
@@LangThoughts I'm surprised, as Americans, you guys aren't immune to national embarrassment yet 🤣
"Embarrassment gets (and keeps) people in line..."
Our social chains aren't necessarily a good nor bad thing. On one hand, it keeps people from accidentally or intentionally harming others esp in extreme cases. On the other, it prevents intellectual and creative geniuses from flourishing.
The fear of rejection hits hard, this is such an interesting topic. Thanks a lot for the insight! I definetly learned a lot from embarrasment
Yet another example where my Autism (and to some extent egotism) kind of makes me an outlier here, is up until my early teens I was actually incapable of feeling embarrassment (I'd do really stupid things like moon strangers in public and shout out in class that I pooped my pants), and instead of feeling embarrassed when I was told that's not appropriate I instead felt confused or even angry for being told I was doing something wrong. Even later on in my life instances where I felt genuine embarrassment are so few and far between that I can't even name one off the top of my head. And even THEN the embarrassment always is swiftly replaced by another less-social emotion, like anger (wanting to blame someone or something else and/or getting super defensive), paranoia (the feeling that I will be physically attacked or punished in some way by an uncaring malevolent society) or guilt (recognizing that something I did actually hurt someone and that I probably shouldn't do it ever again.)
Even now, watching you walk around in that pickle costume, I was thinking "Hey, neat. It's like Halloween or ComicCon. I wish more people would cosplay all the time." Probably helps that I'm a furry and if anyone has a problem with me walking around as a giant Pikachu, well that's their problem. If me being myself is "rocking the boat" than that boat can go hit an iceberg and I'll find my own boat. A boat populated by fellow furries and neurodivergents who aren't afraid to show each other EXACTLY who we are up-front.
I was at the gym today and resting between sets - I took out my phone to check off things in my workout app and a woman came up to me and scolded me for using the popular machine I was sitting at as a texting bench. Suddenly it felt like everyone was looking at me and I just stood up, went into my car, and drove home. Wish I had thicker skin :(
It's why a lot of guys will get drunk before they'll dance.
What about explaining the deep meaning of a song's lyrics, and then realising you got them completely wrong.
Thankfully, it does seem to wear off a bit as you get older.
Thanks Joe. You and the team, you guys make great videos.
❤
Thank you for making this video. As a person who gets embarrassed a lot I needed this.
How I see it is in short:
The bad feelings we have are just a way for us to avoid bad things, even if they can also lead us to them
Fantastic episode. Love the vicarious emotions, that's often the ones that creep in the most, and no matter how much I tell my self not to give so much of a crap about what others think, they're always at the back of the mind lingering like a dodgy fart...
*"LOOK AT ME! I'M PICKLE JOE!"* 😆
To cut it short:
Embarrassment is the rubberbanding of emotion.
Funny enough. 8:50 I did learn about this at school in romania. We did learn about the dramatic genre for writings and we had as example a famous comedy from our country called "A lost letter".
Anyway, while learning about that comedy I learned about a latin quote which was defining the main purpose of comedy and it went like "ridendo castigat mores", which means by laughing we correct our mistakes. This quote was back since the roman era and it proves that the comedy we learned took inspiration from the classical era.
I actually learned stuff at school lol.
Love it! Can you do one on the emotion of shame? While it’s very similar to that feeling of embarrassment, there’s something about shame that’s somehow even worse.
13:35 I often forget that others have uncomfortable feeling too. When both parties are honest and open (very difficult) it can lead to closer feelings of connection : D
Definitely agree from this conclusion. As it does correlate towards empathy I also think it brings a question out of people and make them angry with those acts of integrity. I also think there’s this idea that people think either too little or too high for themselves and which falls in line for how we express ourselves and where that usually lands. Thank you for this video I grew up thinking about this a lot.
Excellent video!
2:35 Self Conscious Emotion: You have to think before you feel.
Rene Descartes: I think therefore I feel.
Stay humble and accept you are a fallible being and you are less likely to be embarrassed. We all screw up at times.
Excellent Excellent brilliant content!
Loved it
I wouldn’t mind if you made a video explaining something like how epilepsy works? What makes the person jitter and shake? You don’t let someone go to sleep after they hit their head, but you have to let someone go to sleep immediately after a seizure? What can cause it to start happening to someone who never had the problem before? Why haven’t doctors found a way to heal it? Or even find the cause for it normally? How long has it been acknowledged as a disability or medical/ neurological problem?
I know at least 3 people with epilepsy but the doctors I’ve talked to are busy and give quick answers I just never understand. You make things easier to understand and more fun to learn.
I’d love to learn more about it.
But mostly because I am one of those three people and I wanna know why and how about my problem. It might end up helping my other friends too.
Hi Joe!
This was an amazing content! Never thought about this emotion a lot and now you brought more knowledge to my knowing. Thank you for the amazing Job you and your crew are doing!!!
Best regards from Russia !
9:12 damn, I didn't know neuroscience was so easy
I don’t get it
Thanks bro
I remember falling down bc someone pushed me at a school game, everyone was focused at me and the boys my grade snickered, I genuinly wanted to disapear at that moment. Like I guess they’ll make fun of me again
I know not everything is a Rick and Morty reference. But man is it hard to see someone walking around in a pickle suit and not think "I'm pickle Rick!!!!!"
Great vid!
Great video
Amazing video.
You guys manage to make educational videos entertaining too which is really good thanks
I loved the pickle costume, and this video. Thanks!
Embarrassment is the self-aware discontent for one's current state of being after actions we feel were out of our control.
this content is so helpful for me. thank Be Smart !
Great info about a complex emotion... I love how you don't stick to a theme and randomly talk about different stuff like this...
I love embarrassing moments. They remind us to be humble and that we're all just human at the end of the day.
Well done, Pickle Hank. I see simple emotions as the language with which our bodies communicate to our minds to do something. Complex emotions like embarrassment are more layered, a communication from the mind to either itself or the body to do something.
Errata: Joe, not Hank. Sorry Joe. (thanks to Vince)
Pickle *Joe* but I'm sure a lot of people confuse him with Hank Green, so don't feel TOO embarrassed.
@@vincelamb4063 Hah! I stuffed that one up.
@@vincelamb4063 Didn't SciShow just do a video about exactly that thing a while ago? :D
@@vincelamb4063
Joe and Hank, have a friendly competition going on for a while. For example ; Joe, has said directly to the camera " try debunking this, Hank " regarding something he ( Joe) was explaining. Just saying !
How embarrassing 😜😂 lol jk
I like how in a video about embarrassment you did a dab during the jumbotron as another example of unspoken social embarrassment smart.
love this!!!
In Sweden we most often don't wear shoes indoors either. If we do, it's shoes that we only use indoors.
Huh...My hypothesis was correct after all.
Thanks for confirming it Joe!
Oh man. One time when I was 12 ish I was walking out of the Journal Square train station - this is a very big terminal in Jersey City that gets a lot of traffic from New York City. And it around 6 pm the week of Christmas so tons of people coming in for the holidays. Right before going up the stairs I fell forward, straight up just flat on my face. Obviously whole rush hour crowd staring at me. I wanted to disappear
Demn. You were a kid at the time though , so probably not as embarrassing as it would now ig.
So you just fell? What's embarassing about that?
I don´t often get embarrassed but when I do is either a mistake and get flustered or I do something on purpose but my body turns red but I don´t really feel embarrassed and people call me on it and I just think "I would do it again"
If you're confident about it, they follow You.
Pain is also a good thing that helps us avoid harming our bodies, which can lead to a decrease in the quality and shortening of our lives. But when pain is manipulated to force us to do things that are harmful to us and not beneficial, it becomes bad. Likewise with shame, when it is misused, the harm from shame outweighs its potential benefits.
I did a LOT of work on positive psych and empathy during my Master's. I would have gone straight for the "Social behavior is an evolutionary advantage" answer for why we feel embarrassment. We are so hardwired for empathy that it's just WILD. Sympathetic embarrassment is just one example but there are dozens of others.
We like strong individuals, when you look at a strong and confident person it gives you a sense of relief i think if you trace this feeling in evolution it's because strong person can be a good support, so because of this,a weak person that do mistakes gives us a bad feeling, when somebody do an embarrassing thing it looks to us they are losers and unreliable, we need strong people to increase iur survival rate, so we don't like mistakes, and when people don't like mistakes so you don't want to do mistakes to apear good to them and they accept you, maybe the evolution origin of embarrassment is because of this
being embarrassed is such a CZcams thing to do
Saw this entire video like more than an HOUR because I had to contemplate on the ideas.
It's funny you mention wearing shoes indoors! I live in the UK and it seems to be a mixed bag here, but I try to enforce that if anyone comes into my house, they should take off their shoes at the entrance after they come in. It's hard enough keeping a house clean, made even worse if everyone tracks extra dirt from outside!
Embarrassment to me is something that I will immediately regret and or wish I never saw / did smthg
IT saying "They ALL FLOAT?", made me sad 🤣
I like your videos very much. Your videos are so cool that at the I laugh my butt off. You have already changed my mind a few times with science. I am thanking you a lot for changing my mind.
So, what happens if a person never feels embarrassment..? I've never understood when people talk about things like stress or embarrassment. Those feelings don't exist to me. I've been nervous but never embarrassed
i'm so envious of you wow
actually ive realized that thats the feeling i was experiencing sometimes the examples given are really like what i have felt myself, even though i couldnt comprehend why or what i was feeling
Please do a video about why a strike/hit on any body part hurts more when it's cold?
I performed on a stage and was so nervous I messed up and blurted sorry. Thank you for making me know that embarrassment is a good thing to feel.
8:28 Cringe comedy is not funny to me, it's painful.
It gets so bad I have to stop watching things sometimes--take a break and maybe come back.
Bro the stuff i learned from your videos was better and more than the 5 years of online medical university
This is going to be embarrassing 😳
11:51~ Oh gosh, that's cringey indeed.
Cheers from Japan.
i live in austin . . . this makes me wish i regularly went downtown just on the off chance i’d been around to see you walking around in that pickle suit 😂
I'm embarrassed about everything I say and do, and even how I look in social settings...so I try to avoid it altogether lol
as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow!!
to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv.
plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well.
have a great day! 💗
@free loonaur 🌙 it's actually not as bad as I make it out to be...in professional settings anyway. I'm stern, eloquent, and upfront at work. I'll speak to anyone and everyone to get what I need. I'll have stern and disciplinary discussions with my employees to put them in line. I'll stand up for my crew against the "higher ups" and clients that could fire us with the snap of their fingers. I'll even speak in front of large crowds for presentations and whatnot.
Outside of work is a completely different story. I feel like my presence is offensive to everyone. I can't force myself to talk to strangers, let alone try to initiate any kind of friendship. I'm unworthy of every girl I'm attracted to and always convince myself that they can do better than me. I level myself with the scum of the earth and avoid social settings to relieve people of the burden of my presence.
I have considered seeking therapy, but my line of work has me traveling the country regularly and working a rotating schedule between nights and days. To say it would be difficult to incorporate regular therapy into my life would be an understatement.
Thank you for reaching out to me. I'll look into this book you recommended.
@@juantamez9442 man, super respectfully, you are strange. o__o how can you be so different at work and not at work, what kind of super power is that??? i wish i could do that too.
i'm glad that you can do that and at least one of your life areas has it figured out! but still, maybe you can do something to make your personal life better too. because the way you described it, it IS bad. you deserve to tolerate and like yourself!!!! and to have a support system of loved ones.
speaking if which, when i struggled with social anxiety the most, it also helped me to hang out with people who had the same problem as me. imagine two extremely anxious idiots together in public.... that was me and my close friend at the time. 😅😅😅 but i noticed that sometimes having another person near gave me strengh and energy to perform better in social situations.
you know, i'm scared of some insects, and if i discover a wasp in my room when i'm alone there, i get so scared that my soul leaves my body lol. but if i have someone with me in that room, like my younger brother, for example, i get the courage to chase the wasp out of the room to "protect" him, even though i'm still very scared. same with social anxiety! sometimes when i felt like my friend was struggling to do something in public, i did the thing for her and felt more confident in that moment, and vice versa. plus even if i made a fool of myself, i had a person to laugh about it with afterwards. so consider finding some people who feel like you do maybe? on the Internet, in support groups, etc.
and also i've seen a video recently about loneliness and why it's bad for people's mental health. i'm lonely as well nowadays, and that doesn't help lol. i'll look for it and send you the link if i find it.
also also having pets helps. i understand that with your work schedule it's probably impossible, but maybe you can find a way to interact with animals from time to time. it's pretty therapeutic and can give you more topics to discuss with people!
idk what else to suggest.... i'll think of some other things maybe! sorry for the long comment + grammar 💀
@free loonaur 🌙 it's not really a super power, it's more like a sense of duty kinda. I get paid well to do what I do, and I'm going to do it regardless of who I have to confront. I approach people because I have a purpose, and that gives me the confidence I need to talk and negotiate with them.
I have no directive or purpose when I come across anyone in person. I freeze up when I try to say something, and then I'll hate myself for how awkward I made the situation. If I'm in a large crowd, I'll get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety.
It's actually not hard for me to talk to girls when I have to talk to them. If they're cashiers, waitresses, nurses, or anyone I have to interact with to get what I need. I can make them smile and laugh, but I wouldn't dare take it past that. I'll convince myself that I'm trying to make something out of something that is not there. They'll smile because customer service is their job. They'll laugh because they're working for a better gratuity. It's just part of their job.
I also have pets, actually. Back home, my sister and my mom are taking care of my husky and pomeranian. I visit them as often as I can, but if I'm being honest, they're more hers than they are mine now.
You're fortunate to have close friends, I recommend you do what you can to try to keep them around. Also, it kinda sounds like your paternal instincts kick in when you're around your little brother. I would have that same protective mentality around my little sisters and my older brother, too, but I've never really been afraid of anything.
All I can say is
This ep started, with Joe walking around Austin in a pickle suit, and my FIRST THOUGHT was
"if my dad shows up in this I'm going to expire"
(HIGHLY UNLIKELY)
What a spectacular video. Don't forget, we are staying curious :)