Why naming non-negotiables is key to your relationships | Kari-Shane Zimmerman Davis | TEDxStCloud

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  • čas přidán 26. 04. 2023
  • There's more to relationships than compromise. Clear knowledge of - and decisions based upon - your non-negotiables are a key to positive relationships in any setting. Nicknamed KSDZ by her students, Kari-Shane is an associate professor of theology at CSB/SJU. East-coast by background and temperament, KSDZ never fails to ask probing questions and does not accept soul-less answers. She asks all her students to engage their moral compass and stand up for what is true and just.
    Kari-Shane earned her doctorate in theological ethics from Marquette University, master’s from Duke University Divinity School, and bachelor’s from the College of the Holy Cross. Her work examines the influence of hookup culture on college students’ views and formation of intimate relationships. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 31

  • @mekadontv4463
    @mekadontv4463 Před rokem +10

    Non Negotiables are my new norm.🎉

  • @kellyprosper7192
    @kellyprosper7192 Před rokem +4

    Loved this, very informative, clear, and thought provoking. Thank you, great presentation!

  • @tobes911
    @tobes911 Před rokem +7

    Great subject: compromise. Without it, the relationship fails. For me, a non negotiable is being committed to staying together and providing a sacred container of love to grow in together. 🌌 ✌️⚖️🙏🌞💜☮️😎👍🎨👨‍🎨💯

  • @kennethudoibok6528
    @kennethudoibok6528 Před rokem +1

    She was my professor! Love this lady ❤

  • @liselachance7321
    @liselachance7321 Před rokem +1

    Wow!

  • @camkh
    @camkh Před rokem

    Appreciated

  • @raheelsiddiquei1230
    @raheelsiddiquei1230 Před 8 měsíci

    For me non negotiable is family, health , commitment to growth

  • @celestialcircledance
    @celestialcircledance Před rokem +2

    Non-negotiables ? Pretty much everything which explains why I'm not in a r romantic relationship ! Work is easier for me to compromise on because well , earning money is non-negotiable

    • @Jack-ki8ei
      @Jack-ki8ei Před rokem

      So your partner can't work? Oh well I guess if you're in a relationship then you are instantly worse off because apparently only one of you can work...

    • @celestialcircledance
      @celestialcircledance Před rokem

      ​@@Jack-ki8ei Yes . In addition to working long hours to be the soul breadwinner I'm assuming that not being able to work would imply a health component which would mean coordinating and providing for your spouse's care either physical or mental or both and if there are kids in the picture that just adds to the already heavy load . I'm afraid I just wouldn't have the energy, earning potential or mental reserves to deal with that type of a burden .

  • @realtimeprivacy5085
    @realtimeprivacy5085 Před rokem +1

    Monogamous relationship! No negotiating rule!

  • @rcversie7358
    @rcversie7358 Před rokem +4

    So basically she got on stage to tell her husband she hates the city she lives in..

    • @tobes911
      @tobes911 Před rokem +1

      If it were her non negotiable, she wouldn't have lived there for the past umpteen years. 😂

    • @KaaliTV1
      @KaaliTV1 Před rokem

      😂😂

    • @olaleyeolabanjo
      @olaleyeolabanjo Před 2 měsíci

      Think about it deeper. She has a point

  • @beyeutv9
    @beyeutv9 Před rokem

    Thank you for showing me a good video. Wishing you a very nice new day!

  • @zone1hearing
    @zone1hearing Před rokem +2

    Quite naive if you are with a narcissistic person they will say they are their non negotiables too and once you are snared will realise they literally have none of those and stomp all over yours.

    • @94Shinestar
      @94Shinestar Před rokem +4

      She's talking about healthy relationships. No relationship with a narcissist is or will ever be healthy, unfortunately. It just can't be.

    • @zone1hearing
      @zone1hearing Před rokem

      @@94Shinestar The trouble is you don’t know you are until it’s too late

    • @94Shinestar
      @94Shinestar Před rokem +3

      @@zone1hearing I've been with a narcissist. Stayed for 5 years. Luckily we have an internet connection and with a little bit of curiosity, you find out. Obviously it's not easy. But there are ways to leave before it's too late.

    • @zone1hearing
      @zone1hearing Před rokem +2

      @@94Shinestar Didn’t even know it was a thing until a friend asked me if I thought their husband was a narc Googled it. It all made sense. Sounds like 5 years too long hopefully your narc spidey senses go off straight away now!

    • @celestialcircledance
      @celestialcircledance Před rokem +2

      If you stay true to your non-negotiables such a relationship shouldn't last long and you can both walk your separate ways.

  • @Semper_Iratus
    @Semper_Iratus Před rokem

    Deal breaker.

  • @HealthySkepticism1775
    @HealthySkepticism1775 Před rokem +1

    I wish I really knew my non negotiables regarding dog ownership before I moved in with my dog mom girlfriend.

    • @laxnation5111
      @laxnation5111 Před rokem

      Being a dog parent, her non negotiables will likely clash with yours then!

  • @savisingh23
    @savisingh23 Před rokem

    First comment

  • @elzilchojd
    @elzilchojd Před rokem +1

    This beast of burden is missing half her brain, non-negotiable!!!!

  • @richardandersen5813
    @richardandersen5813 Před rokem

    I thought I already unsubscribed to this woke drivel