If You Are In A Relationship, Do NOT Do This
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2024
- Trinity Howard is a loyalty tester who specializes in relationship loyalty tests. Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian discuss on The Young Turks. Your Support is Crucial to the Show: tyt.com/team
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"Before I became a loyalty tester, I had my own run-in with cheating.
I was in a toxic relationship for two years during high school. Despite my commitment to loyalty, my first love turned out to be a cheater.
Throughout our relationship, I always knew he had another girl on the side. I often saw them sitting together at lunch or talking at school, but when I confronted him, he would say, "I'm going to end it," and "I will block her," but he never meant it."
***
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240603__BE02CheatTest
Woman: "Congrats, you passed the test."
Boyfriend: "But I don't like to be tested. You failed my test."
Better hope he never finds out.
Absolutely. Chances are it's just a matter of time until it's all over unless they do some work on her trust.
I'm a single guy, and I don't accept random friend requests from women on social media.
If I was a man, I'd automatically wonder if she was a golddigger
What about from random men?
@larryc1616 lol, I don't accept random requests from anyone, but random requests from men was irrelevant to the topic
@@larryc1616It's always what about men with women when we men have a valid point about women.
@@larryc1616Even if your a man, it applies.
I’m 51, and I was seeing a 43 y/o woman had her cousin try this on me, and after I “passed the test”, she couldn’t understand why I was so angry, even though she said that she had done the same thing to 3 other men before me. I walked away from the “relationship”, and no matter how many times I tried to explain my position, she just couldn’t comprehend my problems with her and her cousin, or their behavior., so I blocked them and moved on. I’ve been so much happier not having to deal with that level of mistrust, or craziness.
Sorry they did that to you. I would be upset too. And i would’ve also left the relationship
That's the problem with this little trick. If the guy does pass then he has every reason to end it himself. Maybe if she would have not been so arrogant and just apologized it would have been different.
@@gearhead1302 great point
People who believe 'most people or all people cannot be trusted are merely broadcasting their own lack of trustworthiness'. It was correct to walk away.
She'll be telling her next boyfriend she does this to she can't understand why he's so mad she did it to 4 other men she dated.
Sign up for this service ladies.
Whether your boyfriend passed the test or failed, he will break up with you when he finds out you tested him.
To me if you ever get to the point where you feel the need to “test” the person you’re with then you need to take a step back, reevaluate and realize that you shouldn’t be with them. No one should ever make you question/second guess them, yourself or the relationship.
Exactly
Something as simple as that is not often practiced with modern day women like her.
My wife of 43 tears, passed away 20 years ago. The only woman in my life.
That would put you at a minimum 71. Still, sorry for your loss.
She must have been a lovely woman indeed.
Sorry for your loss. 2:51
While I'm sorry for your loss, 43 years is an amazing run. Stay open to someone new. You never know. But I will agree it's diminishing returns if you had a true best friend, not just someone who liked the setup. I've been engaged 4 or 6 times, depending who you ask, and shacked up a few times. My current girlfriend has been living with me for 8 years. Best woman I've ever known besides my own mother. Your issue is you must have gotten too lucky. You need some bad relationships to make the experience complete. Being in dramatic, dishonest and abusive relationships helps one understand how anyone could support Trump: We have a society that pays no attention to relationship dynamics in the family and after. Mostly a large insane asylum of mentally unwell people. Nutjob creep Trump proved it. Shows like 700 Club, Bachelor, Full Throttle Saloon, Kardashian, Soap operas, Fake Wrasslin ... All culminating in fake business of deranged culture on Queen Bottom Donald's Apprentice show. It's insane the"You're Fired" lunatic from TV could be worshipped by anything except a flushed SCHITT.
So sorry.
Even if teenage boys cheating is a “reality”, cheating should never be normalized, no matter the age group. Our girls should strive for the best no matter what stage of life they are in.
I have no idea what Cenk was on about, it sounded completely crazy to me. I get the celebrity-opportunity connection, but while celebrities seem to have rollercoaster love lives, I wouldn't guess that the number that cheat actually rises to a majority.
"A man is only as loyal as his options" ~Chris Rock
If a woman I'm dating tried this on me and I found out, I would dump her without question or hesitancy. I was in one long-term relationship when I was younger where I got tested (not like this, but in other ways), and I swore I'd never let it happen again. If you have to test me, you don't trust me and we don't belong together.
If she told you after you were engaged, you wouldn't care.
@@skontheroad I absolutely would care. But then again, if we're engaged, then it means it probably doesn't apply. That's because women won't just test once. They will do it continuously. I caught on within the first year of dating the one woman in question. Then I tolerated it for another 3 years before finally deciding not to play ball anymore. Our relationship fell apart a year after that. My only regret is not ending it earlier.
Blind faith is crazy, in relationships and in religion. In all things. Evidence is all that can be trusted.
@@elephantintheroom5678 I strongly disagree. When I date someone, I open myself entirely to them. I trust them entirely (until they give me a reason not to) and I expect them to trust me entirely as well, no questions asked. If I can't have that in a relationship, I'd rather be single.
@@user-zn7nx7zn4t Good luck.
We used to just call this a private investigator
my girlfriend was constantly "testing" me until i broke up with her. she was toxic.
The person thinking their partner is cheating is usually themselves cheating.
Any guy with a brain could see that shit from a mile away.
Exactly! Unless we are some celebrity, this is super sus.
This all makes me think that nobody knows what true love is and how trust works with someone who you know loves you.
Precisely! There is no substitute for the REAL thing.
Um, Cenk lots of guys never cheat, I've never cheated on anyone ever, even in high school WTF are you talking about?
Exactly! It's better to just leave if it's not working out or she's running around. I tried to juggle 3 girlfriends in college at the same time, got caught, and one assaulted me at a party in front of all our coworkers of the restaurant I worked at. Lost all 3 in one day.
It was a great lesson.
One or none.
He is projecting. He thinks every guy is like him.
I think most guys live and think like you. We've just been gaslit by 'Alpha Male' assholes in the media to think adultery is more frequent than it actually is.
Exactly.
Know yourself:
Do you need to do consensual open relationships or monogamy.
Yeah after certain age you realize that you are attracted only to some types of women and you don’t need to date ordinary ones hence little possibility that you will be a liability in the relationship
If I got a random message from a strange woman, I'm immediately thinking it's just a scam to get money
I had a girl do this to me in 7th grade. Passed. Grow up people
Don't cheat 🤷♂️
If some strange woman DM’S me like this I’m automatically going to assume it’s some scammer from Nigeria or some other impoverished country just trying to get money out of me. And won’t even respond to it. Especially if I don’t know you. This “service” is a scam just trying to get money out of women with trust issues.
Yup. I just got a text from someone pretending to have texted the wrong number and she sends a picture of herself as well, trying to have a conversation and apologizing profusely. Those wrong texts have been happening a lot in the last year so it must really work on some desperate guys out there.
@@Jamietheroadrunner There are better more easier ways to “GET SOME” than going though all that jazz. Apparently some people have never heard of escort services
Disloyalty is a red flag. You know what else is? Scheming and game playing
Chris Rock once said that: "a man is only as faithful as his options" ... and that's certainly true for some men.
Ladies, if you ever test a man's loyalty, and he ever finds out you did so, that relationship is over.
Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.
Imagine if it happened the other way around. Those same chicks would be ultra defensive.
If someone did this to me than there's a decent chance that it's over. That kind of mistrust and paranoia is bad for both of us.
The guy who said no could be loyal or... he could be smart.
Yeah. No. Had a wonderful woman do this to me when we had gone on a few dates after meeting online. I broke up w/ her immediately afterward.
Relationships are those things people had before tinder destroyed dating and most men just gave up trying.
this is perfect. If he cheats she should break it up, if he doesn't cheat he should break it up. It's a breakup either way.
If I had a gf who did this, I'd have no problem passing the test but I'd have a HUGE problem with my gf if I found out that she did this. If I've given you no actual reason to distrust me but you have that much distrust because of your own insecurities, then there is going to be further issues going forward no matter what.
But you don’t have a gf and probably won’t , FOR A WHILE
Yeah, no. If a partner is doing this to their partner, they themselves aren't trustworthy. If I found out my partner didn't trust me enough to just ask me, and believe my answer, then we are done.
When some hot girl messages me on social media and i never heard of her, i just assume its a scam and block and report her for spam
That was the other thing I've seen so many scams on social media I'll block numbers if I get unsolicited text.
I’m too lazy to have more than one girl. That’s all there is to it.
I feel you. One woman relationship is enough. Why would you double dip.
I'm monogamous but I'll look and make perv comments
Haha. Luckily I found my other half but yeah I’m too lazy also and loyal. going back dating sucks because you have to text 20 girls good morning.
love how you guys keep it real. Network news would not talk the way you do, and I love it
I wonder how these women would react to a request for a paternity test down the line?
If you constantly test your relationship you’ll eventually find out where it fails.
Exactly. The relationship that works is two people looking WHERE TO HELP THE OTHER. Not looking for flaws to stew on.
Honestly if I found out my gf did this I don't think I'd mind the first time simply because sometimes ppl are insecure, sometimes it's more about them then you, but after I pass whatever "test" then I won't accept it again because you had your suspicion you were wrong and if you're still in your head then there's nothing more I can do...all in all I don't see an issue with this. You'll either cheat or you won't.
I get that. If she had trust issues and this was the only way for her to chill. I’d be okay with it. But if she kept on, even after passing, I’d dump her. Issues that no amount of loyalty will fix
You are right. Thank you. I never did this but had an abusive life at home. Had a lot of insecurities. My husband was a patient man and I learned a lot from his wonderful family. We will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary in a few weeks. Sometimes people need help.
My last girlfriend tried this, but the "catch" was a girl whom I seemingly randomly met in public. I actually figured it out, and dumped my gf for trying to get me to cheat. Shame, cuz she was always paranoid, but I didn't think THAT paranoid. She deserved it. Setting traps for your BF or GF is BS. Like they both said, if you're this untrusting, WHY Ef*ing bother?
DAM GOOD POINT. EVEN AS A GUY IF YOU DO PASS THIS LOYALTY TEST. HOW MAD IS YOUR HUBBY GONNA BE THAT YOU SET HIM UP.
Don't do the "everybody does it/would do it" thing, Cenk. It's not flattering. That's the kind of thing criminals say to justify themselves.
Cenk has made it clear many times he’ll cheat at the drop of a hat
the guy is already cheating tho. this would not be the only time he failed, just the only time he got caught.
People deserve not to get cheated on. Ana likes to ride her high horse.
Clearly you guys have never been through a bad divorce. And I’m a man. I’d test mine quickly.
I would pass this test so easily.. but not for the right reasons.. im a solid 4.. and if an 8 or a 9 were to dm me id automatically think she was after my kidneys [im broke so thats all i have to offer]
That's my situation. 🤣🤣
I would pass because the 1st red flag is someone sending me a DM. I know aint nobody messaging me out of the blue 😂😂
Oh no, if you are so suspicious you feel like you need to "test" a partner, skip the shenanigans, end the relationship, and go directly to therapy.
I agree except,
"Directly"?
Have you navigated American Healthcare?
There is no
"Directly"
The unhealthiest trait I've seen in relationships *is* just this: Partners who are paranoid that their partner is cheating despite having NO hard evidence to back up their doubtful mind.
How to have hard evidence without snooping? We know when our partner is acting different and something has changed. Are we supposed to wait until we walk in on them in the act? I dated someone that was SO SO good at hiding it. He treated me great, spent lots of time with me, always came home. Let me see his phone. He was cheating for our entire relationship! Two years! He used his friends as an excuse to go cheat. How are women supposed to figure it out if we are trusting and there are very little signs?
This is just breaking up with extra steps and extra expense.
A woman would spend money on this but won't go half on a date?
Shes not as invested before shes in the relationship. Of course she expects YOU to throw money around before that
Women consider a date to be the man's opportunity to display his strengths to win her favor. Many men get this and spend lots of effort and money to impress even though the risk is high due to the sheer volume of candidates EVERY woman has available to interview thanks to dating apps.
My sister routinely goes out on a minimum of 2 dates per week and rarely pays for her part of the bill. She never offers and if the man suggests that they split the bill he is ghosted😂. She is attractive yet dates men she considers not great looking which makes her feel like she's a good person. Her focus is on finding a great provider. She had her fun in University and is back home living with us. Her student loans are scary but she does have a master's degree in Psychology.
Oh yeah, women never flirt or cheat!
not the point
I think this Loyalty test is great !!! should be done on both men and women.
@@wizarddragonit is.
@@antclerfont8478no it isnt.
@@wizarddragon Your rejection of reality says it isn't. But it is.
Testing people’s loyalty is a common trait of people with borderline personality disorder. Run from those people. They themselves are not loyal to anyone but themselves.
Cenk's analysis about men is probably 100% right, for maybe half of men? I can guarantee you that some significant percentage of men would NOT cheat just because they had the opportunity to
Entrapment
In Brazil you don't have to pay anyone. There's a TV program for that. It is called Teste de Fidelidade (Loyalty Test) and the host is João Kleber
I would gladly 🤚🏻 sign up to test dudes girlfriends 😂
Mr. Steal your girl spotted. 😄😄
What an obnoxious way to break up with someone. He cheats, relationship over. She tests him like this, relationship over. Just why?
Married twice. If this one fails I’m living in the woods as a hermit. Y’all have lost your goddamn minds in the dating world.
Same, if this one fails I'm going to Europe for #4.
Whenever a hot chick follows me online I get suspicious. I immediately think it's a scam and block the account.
Im gonna have to disagree w Jenks male perspective.. i feel like its a trait that a person has or doesn't have the inclination to cheat. If one has morals, one won't.. i personally wouldn't get a good night sleep again afterwards
There's no absolutes. There's only statistics and general truths.
@timflelter5566 ya, i agree with you
@@shawnalvarez333 yeah so men who have more options are more likely to cheat than men with less options (not saying they will)
Nonsense. It is not ok to accept a 16 year old saying yes to cheating as an understandable expectation. 100% fine to leave someone who takes the bait in that way.
Imagine the conversation with her husband when Ana got home, "So you don't think I'm hot?!, Not even a little?!, What am I to you?" 🤣
What a total ripoff. You could do the same thing with a fake profile using an attractive woman's photo. You could even get a bot to do it for you.
Bingo! Finally someone said this! You're the echo in my head, dude! 😎
Not to mention the possibility that the tester will run off with the boyfriend
I would only trust a professional decoy working with a real private investigator.
Ana is spot on. The relationship is dead already if the person seeks these loyalty testing services.
Cenk is correct. Men/young men look at opportunities anywhere with a twinkle and a tingle. 😂
Indeed, when a guy has options he becomes a whole new man in the eyes of women. Especially if he all the sudden is unavailable. 😂
I'm not convinced that women are much better, but I agree he is right about young men.
Nope
I'm afraid You're self projecting
Then don't get into a relationship....
Just be faithful and loyal
And don't test people
I reply out of politeness, but make it clear I'm in a relationship. I've had women reach out from my past before.
Paying? You can just make a fake account.
That part!
Unless you’re really good at making fake accounts your man will sniff it out. Probably think it’s a scammer. Unless you’re dating an idiot that is.
Life doesn't work that way. A person could have the capacity to do a bad thing at a certain point in their life and grow out of that capacity later based on many different factors.
Someone could be vulnerable this year, but next year they have a breakthrough and they never return to that state again throughout the rest of their life. If you "test" them or in other words, tempt them with something while they are at a low point, they may give in to the temptation. Tons of really good ppl have been in a mental and or emotional state where they would be open to doing something bad but never got the opportunity only to grow as a person later and realize how lucky they were that the opportunity never presented itself.
My wife used to joke that if I cheated she would shoot me and not her.
Loyalty tests are perfect for getting rid of a nagging relationship quickly.
Exactly.
This is awful… if you have this little trust the relationship is dead.
At 5:47 you guys nailed it. If the girl feels like she needs to test her boyfriend, it's time to move on, no matter. Without trust, there can be no real relationship, full stop.
Pass the test then break up with her - if someone is willing to go to these lengths they will doubt you again and again.
Fidelity in a relationship means alot, it is worth alot, and, it is unfortunately, fairly rare.
More reasons as to why we men have trust issues...
Too many head games.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Better off staying single.
I am reminded that I grew up in an odd situation. My mom has a tendency to have 2 boyfriends at once, in which everyone is consenting and agrees to the throuple. My mom was in a relationship with with identical twins, and I'm the result. She's in a relationship with 2 entirely different guys. My first reaction is why not both? I am reminded that that's an odd reaction
"trust" is on a spectrum... I trust that my partner isnt a serial killer but everyone is human and is subject to temptation.. just how much temptation they can withstand is the point of the test . If a simple "hi, how are you" is enough to get your partner to salivate then thats a situation you need to distance yourself from
I always hated the loyalty test. Mostly because if you don't trust your man enough, too you know not mentally torture them. Then you need to let that go.
As a man: If you're a guy who falls into this, your partner made a wrong choice with you; but If you're with a girl who resorts to this, you also chose wrong. Meeting and getting involved with other people has become as disgusting and depressing as the rest of the contemporary world. I'm an attractive guy and women are always surprised when I say I'm single, but it's precisely because of this kind of shit that I'm barely interested in meeting new people anymore. It's sad that incels exist, but even sadder is that there are more and more voluntary celibates like me because we get depressed when we see shit like this.
It's sad to generalize and standardize everything. Good people and good choices do not need “tests”.
There was a time when meeting people was a nice thing and it felt like an atractive adventure.
Not anymore.
Be real people, for God's sake....
So true. That's why I don't do the dating thing. It can be a total nightmare dealing with the acrobatics of people. Testing someone of loyalty is dead wrong - Nobody’s perfect.
I'm remembering girls doing this pre cellphones. All you needed was a three way phone call to get the goods.
This reminds me of back in the day in New York when the cops used to go to bad neighborhoods with little to no resources and jobs undercover and act like they're dropping off a truck and walk away from it and see if anybody tries to steal it. And when they eventually do..they were arrested and the show just went on. Usually kids and young adults.
Bait car?
Ana yelling that her husband is "not hot!" and telling "bitches" to stay away had me laughing out loud 😂
This could be really dangerous for a "tester", trying to engage with someone who might be violent.
The wife and I have been together for 28 yrs. If my wife ever tested me like that it would have ended 28 yrs ago!
Now I'm wondering about some of the weird 'wrong number' texts I've gotten. I figured once they tried complimenting me, it was a scam and I immediately ghosted.
Bro it a girl sends flirty messege on social media, my sixth sense goes up because it’s prob a scam
I'm suspect if someone sends me anything flattering online.
if you have to "test" your relationship, it's doomed already. most people don't enjoy dodging landmines set up by those they are supposed to trust..
This sounds pretty simple to smoke out. Wait a few days between each DM, string the tester along for weeks on end, commit to nothing.
Is there a similar service to test girlfriends?
They should compare results.
I was part of the untouchables in high school. If a girl had shown interest in me I wouldn’t dream of cheating on her. I’m married now and it wouldn’t matter if you scanned my brain and created the perfect girl for me from that scan. I would never cheat on my wife. I’d never be able to live with myself especially with my kids knowing what I did to their mother.
This is not a relationship test, this is a catfishing test.
I bet he cheated on her because she was toxic and was always accusing him of cheating, when he wasn’t cheating. He got sick and tired of it. She was probably abusive as well.
Make up a story, why don't you?
@@Goliath-rn4vi I am sure I am accurate. Because if this alleged cheating took place in high school when she was 16. She still hold a grudge to this day. She is clearly the toxic one. You are the idiot trying to convince everyone else that she is normal in the head. So you are the one making up story’s. you are probably crazy like her. You should just go date that woman.
Thing is, many guys wouldn't cheat unless presented with a unrealistically lucky scenario that he can't turn down.
It's like if the bank accidentally puts and extra thousand bucks in your account, or accidentally getting free cable. You can't be judged as harshly in a situation where you weren't looking for anything and something fell in your lap 😅
A man's will power can only go so far.
@@snatchadams69 Sounds fairly rapey. But I wanna thank Cenk and all the lovely male commenters here for reminding women why they're better off single.
Better keep that on the DL ladies. This is guaranteed relationship ender.
I would not waste a moment of life with anyone who used the phrase, "I'm not on Tinder no more."
Appalling grammar. Unforgivable.
You test me, we are done.
Anna gets it. If your partner does this, it means she may do other things to test or manipulate you whereas Cenk is still a guy and worried about "being rude on the text chat" Come on! really Cenk!
If I were in a relationship with a woman, who pulled this stunt. And I found out about it, that would be the end of the relationship.
one thing I always say is "the worry in a healthy relationship should come from worrying about the world doing something to your partner (tornado, cancer), not from worrying about your partner using bad judgment." the moment you have to manage the judgment of your partner, you are not partners, you are their parent. don't settle for that kind of relationship. you deserve an EQUAL partnership.
Irony. You test your boyfriend's loyalty because you're afraid that he will betray yours. And yet, you betray his first in doing so. Love does not test. Love does not manipulate. Yes, this is 100% manipulation. Lead a love driven life and not a fear driven life. Accept the things that are under your control. Let go of the things that are not. Trust your life path. Know things will work out as they should. And know that you will always be okay regardless of how it works out.