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The Hardest Lessons Learned in My 1st Year of Motherhood
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- čas přidán 17. 08. 2024
- Since my daughter has turned 1 I thought it’d be helpful to share some of the hardest lessons learned in my 1st year of motherhood. Everything from blocking my mom on social media to questioning the role of my friends. I’ve had to take a hard look at myself and what I need to do to grow from this chapter. I am excited to share with you other non-mommy videos so please share what you want to hear and I’ll film it once Saga starts daycare in a few weeks!!!
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About Shameless Maya
"What would happen if I shamelessly promoted myself for 365 days?" My channel started out as a social media experiment, and now it's a lifestyle. I hope my journey from shame to shameless inspires you and others not to be ashamed of who you are and to share and celebrate that shamelessly. Here on my channel, you'll find videos on lifestyle, inspiration, fun transformations, techie vids for aspiring geeks, beauty, fashion, and so much more.Since my daughter has turned 1 I thought it’d be helpful to share some of The Hardest Lessons Learned in My 1st Year of Motherhood. Everything from blocking my mom to questioning my friends, I’ve had to take a hard look at myself and what I need to do to grow from this chapter. I am excited to share with you other non-mommy videos so please share what you want to hear and I’ll film it once Saga starts daycare soon!!!
Please ignore the spam replies! That isn’t me and unfortunately they have written so many times I can’t delete them all 😩
So proud of you Maya. Been here since the head shave, the Prince era, the Jeep and loft era, NY and LA Maya and now Shameless bohemian country momma Maya. It’s been a ride and you are a testimony and a walking sermon. Love you like family ❤❤❤
Had my babies at 25, 38, & 41!!! Each chapter of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood was different and a blessings! Just do life as it unfolds!!!!! It’s not complicated unless you make it so, don’t, just don’t !!! Be you stay true!! That’s Maya!!!
This was so encouraging!! Thank you!
Lovely advice!
This affirmed me.
Yikes
I love this, motherhood is something everyone around me has been suggesting a lot, both of my siblings have children and steady partners, I don't. I'm not in a rush I'm 21 years old, but hearing different perspectives and different journeys of motherhood is such a luxury and I'm happy I've been following Maya for such a long time, I'm talking, short hair Maya era and so seeing her now experience motherhood in all her shamelessness is just so good. Sending good vibes and love Maya, thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for riding all these YEARS GIRL!!! And you have so much time ahead of you! No rush for this chapter. Live your best life shamelessly and solo as long as you can 🤣🤣🤣
Don't allow others to suggestion such a serious life decision on you. The, nerve of folk like that is hard to understand!
@@shamelessmaya exactly 🤣👌🏽
Take your time, you have YEARS before you need to think of motherhood. Enjoy life.
From congested city life of NYC to spread out isolated countryside👀…. You should consider your ability to adapt and adjust ….. a super power 💪🏽 🤔
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 I think so too 💕💕💕
Maya-young mother of a 17yr old handsome young boy.
I agree 1000% percent. Parents that are willing to be selfless in this stage grow so much more as individuals and learn to maneuver in life a little much wiser. This is just a season.
I just watched another CZcamsr regarding ‘5 truths about parenting’ and disagree with w/ it all. You cant cheat your way out of being present in their presence
One thing I learned about adult friendship is to not wait for the other to reach out whether it's texting, calling or planning to get together. They might also be waiting for you to reach out so everyone is missing out. I don't have kids, but I think it has happened to everyone to overcomplicate things.
Yeah I’m the friend who calls even as a mom…can be exhausting though
@@shamelessmaya I understand 😔 I really hope things will feel better 😊
@@shamelessmaya very exhausting. i’m the friend who is just turned 40, has been in therapy for 12 years and now battling chronic illness and don’t have the time or energy to put into constantly chasing others to LOVE me. i spent 39 years putting everybody before me…my husband and daughter included. I’ve learned to lead with love while putting myself first. People make time for what and who they want. Some also may not be healed enough to know any better and that’s ok too but that’s also no excuse for me to again sacrifice myself to keep reaching out IF it’s causing me exhaustion, anxiety, anger, or making me feel anything less than the beautiful queen that I am. That being said, sending you both positive vibes and may you continue grow and follow the path that God has set before you. Happy Healing 😊
I'm not a parent yet. I am about to be 35. I hope to become a parent soon so I am happy that you shared this information. 😊 I appreciate you Maya. 💕
It is so encouraging to hear someone say that sometimes you have to chose friends at a stage in your life that can relate to your situation. I recently lost my child, everyone had an opinion on how I was to act, behave, should do. It's tiring. So I not even realizing it, had to put barriers for my peace of mind. Starting chapters on life difficult or happy not everyone can join, change or help on your new journey. I appreciate you for sharing your journey.
This breaks my heart and I'm so sorry that on top of your grieving you have people telling you how to act and behave. I can't help but think of the message that has been ringing in my ears this week and that's "your pain is your super power". It's from a sermon by Joel Osteen "Don't Waste Your Pain", it's inspired me and it might inspire you. Praying for you and your angel
Thank you for sharing your experience, Maya! My youngest is now 10! The time really does fly. Accpeting and adjusting to your new normal with every stage as they grow will help in not making it harder than it needs to be. Learn to let go of what doesn't work anymore and don't be afraid of change. Because with kids, change will come whether you're ready for it or not. Sometimes we think we are failing but we are trying to fit the square we had into our new circle. Step back often and realize that "having it all together" is a process you will repeat over and over again and that's normal. You are killing motherhood! She's beautiful, you're beautiful! 🤗
Hello Maya,
I’m new to your channel and started following you on IG recently. I love your content & your story. Glad you were open and found love again. I to live in the Country now and can totally relate to the struggles of not having the everyday conveniences of stores and coffee shops. I’m older and my doctors appointment take me 2.5 hrs each way a total of 5 hrs. I miss my friends and the City, but embrace the quietness and beauty of the Countryside! Keep living, laughing and enjoying this journey called life. I promise it’s sweeter on the otherside when the kids are adults! ✌🏽 & ❤
3:20 Great advice! This is why I never added my mom to a “friends list”…. My social media comments and posts are for an entirely different audience. Mom is old school…you have to interact with her in customary way…. Or block her from certain posts 💡🤝
I first started watching this channel when Mya shaved her head with her cousin, and I respected the humbleness and humility to shave away the burdens weighing her down and start a new chapter in her life. It has been a pleasure watching her journey, and it's beautiful to watch God move in a mighty way in her life...........
I have been following your channel and journey since I was in high school. I am now 26 years old and I'd just like to say you inspire me to do me to the highest degree for as long as I can. Amongst several other things of course (photography, beauty etc) You've taught me to never settle or compromise something real and beautiful because you feel like you're running out of time. Thank You.
Reading your comment and others about how long the journey has been is so humbling and inspiring. Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I love your videos Maya. I am expecting my first baby in December and I have family already demanding to stay with us the first 2 weeks of his life. The criticism is so real lol and my son is not even born. 💙I will not be letting anyone rob me of my peace.
Congratulations girl! If you are able to have your partner stay home with you, I highly recommend taking the first week to be just your new little family only. It is very special and sacred time ❤️ If your partner can’t be away from work for that long then only allow one family member to stay with you because you will need help the first week because your energy will be low. You are going to have an amazing birth experience 💜
Omg I had this same experience! I didn’t let anyone come early on as the demands and need to host were too stressful ❤
Sometimes they're just trying to help.
I love that even though you’re married and have a baby we get to see the parts of your life that we came up with you with. Like your own perspectives and feelings etc. I think it’s so beautiful how you navigate being a lover, wife, mom, yourself, and being a creating so beautifully!!!
Can we get into how gorgeous your hair is and how hard it is to see you with hair at the same time?! Is it just me?! Haha. Thanks for making this video mayaaaa!!
Think she had a Function of Beauty plug on the Max & Maya channel.
She talked about her routine for a little bit
I know! I LOVE her hair and still getting used to it.
Yeassss!! Just gorgeous ❤
@@OutspokenShyThat’s so funny! I actually was introduced to her channel in 2012 when she shaved it all OFF. I love seeing her with long hair again. 😊
Gurrrrrlllllll! How I've walked this journey alongside yours. I moved to my husband's small town then we found out we were preggers and now just like that our little one also just turned one! It's been a really rich learning year for sure. The best lesson and permission I've given myself is the gift of self-reinvention.
Love this so much! I'm 35 and TTC. The lesson that not every friend is for every season of your life is sooooo true!! Love your honesty as usual! Love to you and your family from South Carolina, USA! ♥️♥️
Yes! My son turned one last month and my friend just ended our friendship. Wasn’t expecting it. But it woke me up. Not all friendships are forever.
the hardest lesson I learned in motherhood is to not play the comparison game. Every child is unique. We all have different DNA after all. I don't take seriously when people tell me my children need to be in XYZ activity or be learning "milestones" to be considered average or above average or the "standard". F that! I just let my children be who they are and support their interests because they like them, not because they have fit into a standard mold.
Love seeing you grow Maya! I am happy to hear you give great insight to new or soon to be mothers! :)
Baby/Toddler sleep is complicated but simple at the same time. My son was an independent sleeper up until 12 months, would sleep in his crib in his room 12hrs overnight no problem. Then all of a sudden the night wakings started to become frequent and I began to put him in our bed so that we would all get sleep. He’ll be 2 this October and doesn’t seem to want to sleep on his own again anytime soon🤷♀️. My husband and I don’t mind it, he’ll only be this small for such a short time.
You know after I filmed this Saga started waking up in the night and we’ve been transferring her but I can’t with the human pacifier so I may have to share my sleep journey in another video 🤣🙏🏾😩
Yep sounds familiar..... first 5 months sleept through the night then got sick and became a velcro baby...... nearly a year later she is in the co sleeper next to my bed. I don't care where she sleeps but I just want her to stay asleep till 7
Thank you so much for sharing. You've embraced your new life and motherhood with grace. Forty years ago when I was a new mother, I faced similar challenges; I learned and rejoiced in each new phase of my son's development. Five sons later, I'm happy to say we not only survived but thrived. I wish you and all your family joy and peace.
So proud of you MAMA! So exciting to see you coming out on the other side as a stronger woman and creator!!
Thank you for being the most supportive partner ever 🙏🏾💕
@@shamelessmaya have you heard of youtubers like nostalgia critic, angry video game nerd, cinema snob, film brain, obscurus lupa, linkara, phelous, nostalgia chick, todd in the shadows, amd rap critic
Yesssss Maya! Y’all are doing it babe! And you’re doing such a great job. Also remember you’re new parenting WHILE RENOVATING as well. It’s A LOT and you’re doing amazing. I’m so happy to see you thriving. Also YES TO SETTING THOSE BOUNDARIES. So so important. Sending so much love to you and yours!!
Living on a country side is sooo hard do I commend you seriously I think about my cousins and aunt in Dominican Republic and how strong these women are! And how easy we have it here in the US. I spent one month on Dominican Republic country side and wow it’s not easy and totally different
Your Hair !!! 😍😍😍😍
I'm glad you like! I had to edit out a part where I was criticizing my hair saying it's so frizzy 😂
@@shamelessmaya 😅
Great video Maya! I thought you were about to share some news 👀😂I'm turning 33 and just got married but not ready for kids at the moment. But, feeling that pressure and anxiety that you should drop everything and bring kids in the world thoughtlessly just doesn't sit right with me. I love your relaxed approach to parenthood.
I’m 33 and got married 2 years ago and still not ready!!!!! I’m happy for the relaxed approach too
Ahhhh cosleeping has so many health benefits for both mom and especially baby, definitely transition to independent sleep LATER rather than sooner
I agree, most don’t see it that way though.
Man, I related on I think every point you made. My daughter is 8 months now and I’ve learned so much about parenthood, especially those early months.
Thanks for sharing and keep being a great parent for your little one 🧡
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I relate to this video so much. I think for me the challenge has been receiving unsolicited advice lol.
Also, friendship dilemmas. It feels very hard to relate to them now but I like your point of “reshuffling or reorganizing” rather than cutting them off.
God love you Maya
Thankyou for this great video! Relating to all of this .. I’m 5 Weeks post partum and totally agree with all of your points, Besides the sleeping for now..
Right now I’m feeling into outsourcing whatever I can right now to make life easier as well as keeping true to those boundaries!
Pregnancy really pushed me to stay true to myself and my values, and protect me and my babies energy at all costs ❤️❤️❤️
I am so happy to see you again. I took a break on CZcams but I remember when you used to be in NY and then you moved to Cali. I love seeing how you have evolved and now that you are married and a mother... This is simply incredible 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 if I can remember you are a MAY BABY!!!
you helped me in some difficult times to be myself especially after you cut ALL your hair off. That was a true SHAMELESS journey!!! Just incredible seeing you again.
So proud of you Maya. Watching your evolution and growth all these years from NYC to LA, to mommy hood has been magical 😍😍😍
Oh I love this so much! I can sooooo relate to how you were feeling with protecting your peace! I had my mum stay with us in the first 2 weeks and man… that was so hard. Her intentions were great, but it really put a damper on what should have been the most amazing time in my life with my new family. The constant comments, nit picking, ugh it was tough. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Also my son HATES the car seat! We nicknamed it the torture chair, still hates it 8 months in but we will at least last 20 mins before the screamin begins!!
I appreciate your mention of the importance of COMMUNITY in how we raise our families. Our circles of care are vital to everything we do and as we are growing up in the west, this gift of community is lost/forgotten.
Thank you for this Maya. I'm not a mother yet but my husband and I will be trying soon so I'm taking in your wisdom. I am also someone who likes to DIY and can make life harder for myself so that was a good reminder even for me with no baby right now. ❤
Totally relate to everything you said. It can be a bit lonely and you do have to learn that friendships have ebbs and flows and your old friends may be on a different journey right now. Especially if they don't have children. But its definitely a journey and one I wouldn't change.
Wow your hair is everything
You're doing you Maya, love it! Honest, as always good intentional and reflective. Taking away gems and super inspired by your continuous life journey. Being an immigrant, new mum and changing life scenery are big deal (the bit about friendships and relatability made sense - gonna check on my mommy friends more for sure). Xoxo and cheers to continuous growth ❤
The friends thing was hard for me. The friends without kids...its is NOT the same.The love is still there but there's not much to relate to. Building a tribe of Mom friends is essential!
Thanks for sharing all of this. My daughter is 7 months and I’ve thought MANY times about what I’d do differently (especially when it comes to breastfeeding!) but I’m mostly just grateful to have a happy, healthy baby. Best advice I received is to give yourself ALLL the grace-rest and take care of YOU, even if it’s at the expense of a clean house or custom furniture or whatever. My daughter is teaching me to do less and be more…flexible because my adorable little stinker is prone to blowouts 💩 Any preconceived notions about the “beauty of motherhood” have been summarily DISMISSED 😂
Oh Mya, God bless you! Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your journey with us. You are solid gold mama! Keep doing you boo! Much love and more blessings to you and family🙏🏽💕
I’m 30 and had my first 9 months ago and I absolutely relate to everything you said. Love your content
Thanks for sharing your journey! From NYC, can't imagine country life. Yes, I had to learn to place boundaries up for my firstborn because everyone had an opinion. I remember transitioning my son to his own room, I felt so much guilt but it was a win-win for us all as we were able to eventually sleep better :)
I am currently pregnant with my 2nd and this pregnancy is completely different than my 1st. The nausea is different, the pain is different, my ability to rest is different (because I have to keep my 4 year old entertained).
It will be interesting if/when you do have a second child to compare this video to how it actually goes.
I’ve been a subbie since the beginning of your channel! Our babies are two months apart, I too bought a house in the country and have been doing this past year of motherhood alone. Every single thing you said was right on! Love you girl❤
Really loved this video. You are like the sensible, aspirational big sister I am learning from!! Thank you Maya, for your always honest advice.
your digital shameless older sister :) I got you
It’s never too late to have a child. I know people who have kids in their 40s, 50s, etc.
Really enjoying this video...and love your sweatshirt! Such a good color!
Protect your peace 💯 as a new mum myself this is essential! Thanks for sharing Maya looking beautiful as ever🥰
I've been following your channel since 2013 and I loved every you since then :D seeing the changes and new chapters always makes me so proud, but this chapter is my favourite. seeing you growing with Saga (and Max of course) day by day is something truly beautiful. I would like to have children one day and I've learned so so so much from your videos/experience! Also, you made me not feeling like I'm "late" to have children (this was the feedback from my family always - at 30...). Thank you Maya for everything from the bottom of my heart
The dedication! Thank you for riding along this journey with me! And it's a yes to the coffee :)
Thank you Maya for making this video 🤗🙏🥰
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 thank you for appreciating
You are very welcome! 👍🏾
👍🤩Good commentary & learning points. We’re so happy for you. Thanks for sharing your journey. 💝
I know it’s unrelated but could you do a video related to hair growth and how you do this style? It’s so nice
Xx
I am a mom, and I can relate to you sis. However, it does get a little easier.
#1. Protect your peace.
Loved this Maya, a beautiful reflection of maturation and growth that applies to so many areas of life. So wholesome to hear. Thanks for sharing
Hello Maya! You are a beautiful soul and I'm so grateful our paths have crossed. Continued blessings!
I would love a video on how you and Max made Saga sleep on her own! Thanks for sharing everything, always interesting and fun to watch you and your family :)
I love this season of life for you and ALL the chapters you have shared with us . Thank you ❤
Look at you mama! You did it!! And the journey continues...you got this!!! 🙌🏾
This was so timely Maya. Currently going through sleep trials with my 6 month old 🙏🏾
Thank you for continuously sharing your Motherhood experiences Maya - well done to you!!
Oh wow, beautiful inside and out ✨🙌🏽 love following your journey. Inspires me every time to what’s possible! 🤍
the fact you still look good and glowing makes me happy!!!
God is so good 💕Love this video insight, advice and encouragement. Thank you for sharing! Warmest wishes and blessings to you, Max and little Saga!
really beautiful said about friendships. Totally relatable as a new mama. ❤
Yesssss we’d love a video on how you got Saga to sleep alone and also not rocking her to sleep! She puts herself to sleep?? Pleaseeeeee tell me your magic! Love you mama Maya 🤎
Maya you got it right 😂I have three kids 6,5,1 I totally relate what you’re saying 😂😂motherhood is sweet, y’all are lucky you’ve got helps but mine I did all alone on foot no car. At the end it worth it
I'm so happy for you Maya! I agree with all your saying motherhood can be challenging and fun.
Ah so good to see you! You are glowing!!
YOU’RE GLOWINGGGGGGG😍❤️
You are a light in this world!
Oh sisssss. Spill the tea on how you went from cosleeping to independent sleeping. Because we've been cosleeping and oh my gosh. Give us the deetssss! Lol.
I vote for a video on putting saga in her crib! I have an almost 5 month old who freaks out if he wakes up anywhere except in someone's arms 🥴
Your hair is gorgeous
I remember you shaved your hair and started this new journey now look at you boo!! I'm so happy for you!
random thoughts that have very little to do with the actual content of this video-- i love your long hair!!! i dont think your hair has eve been that long since you've had your channel. its funny to think about how focused on your hair your channel used to be, and here i am just staring thinking how much i love the length of your hair.
My girl turned 1 two months ago and I relate to this so much. There are TONS of things I would do differently but I still appreciate the whole experience with my first baby that for baby # 2 I know I’ll be a different type of mom. I think the anxiety of being a first time mom kind of over shadowed the beauty of the first year. I have a list of this I’d do differently and here is a few; get a doula all the way up to postpartum, send the baby to the hospital nursery so I can get sleep 😅 (I slept 55 minutes total those first few days), once the baby is up to birth weight don’t wake them up at night, if they don’t want to eat/drink milk not to stress myself, and do start pumping while in the hospital (I waited almost a month to pump).
Oooh and the biggest one of them all, NEVER LET THE BABY IN MY BED 😂😂😂
Loved this! And yes would definitely love to see a video on the transition from cosleeping cause I’m in the trenches right now 😭
Yes please Maya more details about the transition will be awesome if you can share. Again thank you for this amazing content!
Girl your hair is so beautiful!!
I'm a new mom with a 2 month Ole. My mom is Caribbean and is constantly giving advice and I didn't need it. She don't sugar coat anything and sometimes makes me fell dab as a 1st time new mom. My baby is a preemie so it's very hard to ask for help because everyone wants to do for baby and not know what the heck he need.
i am so so happy to hear that you are doing great now. my daughter too just turned 1 and yes i would love to see a video on how did you move Saga to her own crib and bedroom (and at what age)? PLEASE. i would lov to hear your experience as i need to do it too and i am struggling.
I love how you edited the video! Looking great mama Maya 💚
Also they loved quilted onesies for sleeping.
thank you for sharing your experience.❤ back in the day and many mothers today, spend the first 40 days mostly in bed with baby for healing/bonding and so many other benefits. fast paced living has slowly forgotten this sacred time
Yes! I read books on it but the sad reality for me was mentally understanding rest and habitually understanding rest were two different things. So now that I know I suck at relaxing I have to eliminate as many rest distractions as possible 🤣🤣🤣
I would love to see a video on moving Saga to her own bed. Your personal process, method and emotions involved.
Living in rural areas is a challenge. I wonder if a small/medium city (or at least a town with basic amenities like a library and coffee shop) would be a better fit?
Heeeeeeeey. So about this sweatshirt. 👀 sending love. (The description seems to copy and paste several times… just looking out)
I agree with picking your hardships. We order toy subscriptions, but we choose to cloth diapers. We make baby food, but we choose pouches instead of making them. Etc etc. great lesson… and now you can use the wood for something else! Love the lessons. I agree agree agree.
Some lessons (that weren’t mentioned): take solo time even if it’s only 10-30 minutes. Take showers and get comfy dressed daily. It’s even fun to dress baby. Get comfy with the “ok thanks” when people offer unsolicited advice or even advise you against what you’re doing. At the end of the day, you’ll eventually hang up or they will leave. Don’t let the undertones get to you. I still have family call and ask about milestones and what THEY want my toddler to be doing… woohsah it out and maybe come up with an affirmation to help.
These are golden tips!!! I wish I included but thank you for adding them here. And thanks for looking out! Fixed! 🙏🏾💕
I clicked like before I even started watching. ❤Videos are always great and inspirational
Thank you for sharing your life lessons and your positivity, Maya!! Hugs from Panama!! :)
OMG THIS VIDEO yees need this….preformed with twins as my 2nd trimester comes to a close I’m getting worried I make my life much harder than it should be
Great video Maya. I wish I could talk with directly about the points you mentioned because I too experienced the same and different.
You got this! Raising children grows you. Every single day we are forced to grow and I love it... 😊 Blessings to you and you COMMUNITY/CIRCLE OF CARE always!
I thought you were pregnant I was seriously waiting to say congrats 🎉, I am pregnant with my 4th, and I would say cosleeping was the best sleep saver for me
You are shinning and glowing 🥰🥰🥰🥰
This is super solid advice! Wow thank you
Yeeeessss Haaka! I learned that hack for baby #2. It saved me so much time from pumping.
Yea DEFF agree with PYP!!! Take care for YOU 1st! As far as baby sleeping in crib, my daughter (11mon) she USE to but for a few months she hasn't. Any tips!??
Love hearing your experiences! I have a 5 month old and we are needing to transition from bassinet/co-sleeping into his room/crib. Any tips from how you guys did this would be fantastic!
lol. Knew the countryside would get old. It’s a cute getaway.