I am happy you heard me and then not only countered my assumptions but addressed it in a video. I agree labels are not helpful aside from those few times it can spark others to grow. Hurting others by assuming who they are or how they feel is not helpful to them or to ourselves, it is best to ask, as you said, and approach from their interest/perspective when it is reasonable, and within our boundaries.
And it requires vulnerability, while narcissists suppress a core of deep shame, so being vulnerable feels like 'dying' for them. It's good t say "I need your help" before a request. So "can you please drive slower" doesn't sound like an attack or a judgement, but really like a request, that is not putting the other down, but actually gives them power: you have the power to help me.
May everyone who needs to, go no contact, and keep your dignity intact. 💚 May all of our narcs collapse and wake up in some sort of trauma recovery spiritual healing life spa purgatory, and get the help they need. NVC + NPD = Patience and Tolerance practice.......if you happen to be on the path to sainthood....props to you! I prefer my peace. And those old spaces have the "crazymakin' " Volume at an 11. Thanks for letting me grieve here. 🖤 My need for a sense of Belonging gets satiated in this space and I appreciate that.
This really helped me!!! I'm impressed with the amount of research that went into this video. I love the balanced view that highlights the humanity, the stigma, and the challenges. A part that is sticking with me is "get your compassion elsewhere." Oof 💔
Thanks so much Amy, so glad you liked the approach - it was indeed a laboursome one :-) And yes it is painful, for everyone involved I guess..Thanks again for your appreciation, super motivating for me to continue with the next video 💞
You are a wonderful teacher! You are clear and thoughtful, anticipating my questions before I ask . . . and you always give real-world examples that I can easily translate to my specific situations. Thanks for all of your work, and your generosity in sharing this with us...Hope you have a lovely day!
I usually love your videos and I was especially interested in this Narcissism one as I've realized that both my parents do/did these behaviors -I'd guess to avoid the pain of reality. However this video is way too fast [I had to use 75% speed to hear you] and also there is a huge annoying oval with one to two words of the transcript, that blinks so badly that I could only watch by covering the lower quarter of the screen so the blinking didn't mess with my nervous system. I hope you can get rid of that oval and blinking so others can actually watch this as it has great information.
Thanks for letting me know! Unfortunately, I cant get the oval out at this point..but good to know for next time. Hope you could get something out of it despite the speed!
I feel happy to learn these effective communication tools because it meets my needs to maintain important relationships. With regards to boundaries, if a boundary is broken for example, I will leave for the remainder of the day. It's like a temporary 'no contact' option. 💖
Great info, I just finished the whole video. However, I'm confused. It seemed you were talking about MPD [Multiple Personality Disorder] and Narcissism at the same time and all mixed up. They seem quite different to me. I wonder why you put them together?
It hurts me to hear "you can only keep on your mask for so long", like you are coming from an idea of intentional consious harm that this traumatised person is planning to give you.
I hear that my words 'one can only keep a mask on for so long' are hurtful for you, it seems to imply that people with NPD intentionally harm others, whereas they actually come from a place of trauma, and thus, I guess you want to emphasize, have more unconscious or automatic behavior as opposed to malignent intent. I totally agree with you that people with NPD mostly are not coming from a goal to harm others, they are just trying to get their needs met best they can, and as I say elsewhere in the video, just want to avoid being in pain. And in so far as sometimes the intent might be to hurt someone, for example to take revenge, which might be the case esp. where NPD is mixed with anti social disorders, the 'causing harm' is still not the end goal, it's again just a way to compensate for trauma. But in short, I agree with you, Im sorry that this was not clear in that expression.
Let me know about your experience with NVC & Narcissism below!
I am happy you heard me and then not only countered my assumptions but addressed it in a video. I agree labels are not helpful aside from those few times it can spark others to grow. Hurting others by assuming who they are or how they feel is not helpful to them or to ourselves, it is best to ask, as you said, and approach from their interest/perspective when it is reasonable, and within our boundaries.
@@kjnoah Glad you liked it! Thanks for letting me know 🙂
And it requires vulnerability, while narcissists suppress a core of deep shame, so being vulnerable feels like 'dying' for them. It's good t say "I need your help" before a request. So "can you please drive slower" doesn't sound like an attack or a judgement, but really like a request, that is not putting the other down, but actually gives them power: you have the power to help me.
Thanks for this!
I love this!
May everyone who needs to, go no contact, and keep your dignity intact. 💚
May all of our narcs collapse and wake up in some sort of trauma recovery spiritual healing life spa purgatory, and get the help they need.
NVC + NPD = Patience and Tolerance practice.......if you happen to be on the path to sainthood....props to you!
I prefer my peace.
And those old spaces have the "crazymakin' " Volume at an 11.
Thanks for letting me grieve here. 🖤
My need for a sense of Belonging gets satiated in this space and I appreciate that.
Glad this gave you a sense of belonging and an opportunity to grieve 🥰
“If you happen to be on the path of sainthood go for it” 😂😂😂
I will remember that
@@kuibeiguahua humor helps me heal
Thank you 😊
This really helped me!!! I'm impressed with the amount of research that went into this video. I love the balanced view that highlights the humanity, the stigma, and the challenges. A part that is sticking with me is "get your compassion elsewhere." Oof 💔
Thanks so much Amy, so glad you liked the approach - it was indeed a laboursome one :-) And yes it is painful, for everyone involved I guess..Thanks again for your appreciation, super motivating for me to continue with the next video 💞
Congratulations for the quality of your presentation and thank you for having taught me that there is a recognised addiction to wealth. 😊
You are a wonderful teacher! You are clear and thoughtful, anticipating my questions before I ask . . . and you always give real-world examples that I can easily translate to my specific situations. Thanks for all of your work, and your generosity in sharing this with us...Hope you have a lovely day!
Thank you so much!
This is a great video! I would find it helpful if you did something similar for borderline personality disorder.
Thanks a lot! BPD I discuss in my course!
😮they ignore our Boundaries.
Excellent, thank you
yay!
Love that, thank you!
yay!
I usually love your videos and I was especially interested in this Narcissism one as I've realized that both my parents do/did these behaviors -I'd guess to avoid the pain of reality. However this video is way too fast [I had to use 75% speed to hear you] and also there is a huge annoying oval with one to two words of the transcript, that blinks so badly that I could only watch by covering the lower quarter of the screen so the blinking didn't mess with my nervous system. I hope you can get rid of that oval and blinking so others can actually watch this as it has great information.
Thanks for letting me know! Unfortunately, I cant get the oval out at this point..but good to know for next time. Hope you could get something out of it despite the speed!
I feel happy to learn these effective communication tools because it meets my needs to maintain important relationships.
With regards to boundaries, if a boundary is broken for example, I will leave for the remainder of the day. It's like a temporary 'no contact' option. 💖
Thanks for sharing this!
hi i don’t want to be rude but i feel the captions are flash too much and is very distracting
Great info, I just finished the whole video. However, I'm confused. It seemed you were talking about MPD [Multiple Personality Disorder] and Narcissism at the same time and all mixed up. They seem quite different to me. I wonder why you put them together?
I talked about NPD=Narcissistic Personality Disorder
@@CupofEmpathy sometimes the autotranslate feature came up mistakenly with MPD when Marianne actually said 'NPD'
It hurts me to hear "you can only keep on your mask for so long", like you are coming from an idea of intentional consious harm that this traumatised person is planning to give you.
I hear that my words 'one can only keep a mask on for so long' are hurtful for you, it seems to imply that people with NPD intentionally harm others, whereas they actually come from a place of trauma, and thus, I guess you want to emphasize, have more unconscious or automatic behavior as opposed to malignent intent. I totally agree with you that people with NPD mostly are not coming from a goal to harm others, they are just trying to get their needs met best they can, and as I say elsewhere in the video, just want to avoid being in pain. And in so far as sometimes the intent might be to hurt someone, for example to take revenge, which might be the case esp. where NPD is mixed with anti social disorders, the 'causing harm' is still not the end goal, it's again just a way to compensate for trauma. But in short, I agree with you, Im sorry that this was not clear in that expression.
@@CupofEmpathyThank you so much for reassuring we are on the same page
Can you please sit still? I actually felt nausea from the amount of rocking around in your chair you did.
Boring.