Why We Stopped Telling Friends We Are Debt Free
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
- We are done telling friends and family we are debt free... and this is why.
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I can imagine that people would have an existential crisis in seeing people they know finding success in having/owning less when society tells us that we should always want more and that we need to work more to get it. It probably terrifies them to know that their own chase is making them miserable - and that they're also too scared to change it.
I couldn't have expressed that better myself. When you starting your CZcams channel? ;) I'm pinning this comment to the top.
I think that is a little silly. Sorry but often we get really excited about a new path in life &a s want other people to join us & be just as excited…we often alienate people in our excitement. I doubt your friends/family felt those things but instead felt like they didn’t have much in common with u anymore? And perhaps u could have tried harder to make new connections with them? Or not,but I don’t think it has much to do with being scared - unless u expected them to change too,which often turns people away.
@@gojereme Aww, thanks so much! Lol, CZcams might be in my future, but definitely not yet. :)
Well put. They probably want to live the American Dream but without putting in the initial effort as you have done.
Great house/car/holidays/lifestyle comes with a price tag. Ordinarily that price is financial.
You looked beyond the financial and worked towards a life you can enjoy, having the time and energy to do so.
Stuck in the treadmill of working to live - minimum 40 hour week/keeping up with kids/ necessary chores looking after varioys belongings. There are 2 main points I see. A)the extra work and reduced funtimes to become debt free. B) the inherent emptiness of an unfulfilled life. How much time/energy/money have they already invested into their lifestyles? Who wants to admit to making mistakes on that scale?
More people are realising that the Protestant work ethic has been hijacked by capitalists wanting to maximise sales profits presented as deserved luxuries for long hours working at a job that often pays less than its worth. Thats a big lie to wake up to.
I completely agree with this. We also did the dave ramsey plan, we also sold a home we fixed up. We also downsized to a smaller home in a cheaper area of living. We did all this to deal with debt and be more free.
Our experiences with friends and family were the same as what you described.
One thing I’ve learned in my young 34 years is keep quiet about goals and keep a low profile with what’s going on. Family and friends, especially family, can be some of the biggest haters.
Bingo! You have learned the secret of life. Do what makes you happy! You see you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself.
People show their true colours when they're older. Family so much more fun when we're kids. People mess up livin it up then don't want u to do better yet u were saving or working hard. That's crap
Im 35 without any debt not even a house note and learned the same thing you did.
Exactly!
Man Nick, this is wise! I can't tell you how many times my family and people I look up to have shat all over my dreams and or goals, which I've still pursued, but it just makes you bummed out knowing how they feel about it.
Someone we know (in their early 40's) were always harassed by friends because he and his wife never upgraded from their starter home. A few years ago, while out to lunch with the buds, he announced that he was quitting his job and retiring early, because he could. They were stunned, and no longer made fun. So kudos to you for not falling for the trappings.
Its all about balance.....finding out how
To fit all the other stuff we want in life
I never understood the concept of the starter home.
@@nickross5459 Good for you. I guess it's what you can afford for your first house, and society steers you towards upgrading as your salary increases, or as your home obtains equity and you can upgrade.
I don't why call any house someone buys a starter house, how bout forever house, which leads to less debt, than trying to move every few years.
I never heard that phrase until I moved up to the mainland. Growing up in Hawai’i not many people do the “starter home” thing as you have to basically buy your forever home and many people never own a home.
Never feel like you have to apologize for reaching your goals.
yeah, paying off debt is all fine and good but sometimes building it up needs to happen to achieve your goals.
People pleasers*
Yes, NEVER apologize.... but realize that wealth envy is a real thing. People will be envious, jealous, and bitter that you are doing better than them. I just don't tell anyone anything
I have never understood the envy that people display when they find out someone is financially doing well. Hell, pick their brain and find out what they know so you can use it. I have a co-worker who is financially better off than me. I started asking his advice a few years back and I've learned so much. My own financial situation has vastly improved due to the knowledge that he has shared with me.
That reminds me of when everyone was hating on Mitt Romney for having a retirement account in the millions. I looked at it differently. If he can do it legally, I want to know how. I did figure it out and there was zero reason to piss on the guy for it.
I understand it. They want the success but not necessarily the sacrifice. They will focus on why you were able to do it as a reason for why they can't do it. The reality is that the sacrifice and success will differ for everyone because the opportunity is time sensitive.
What I like to do is what I've heard someone else say. Look for the opportunity and when the door opens you walk through it.
@@sblijheid Yeah. How unfortunate that so many found Mitt Romney to be unrelatable.
Envy is positive. When such people have is pure jealousy.
I keep trying to tell a friend to stop buying a truck every year because he'll never be debt free. A year later I told him I was finally debt free. Then he just stopped talking to me. I don't get it. I wanted to help him with his finances but just ghosted me.
In the past being in debt was seen like a shame, nowadays, if you are debt free, you are met with hostility.
People hate to see you succeed.
Wow - people I know were happy for me when I paid off everything except my home. (In fact, I want to sell this big house & pay cash with my 400k equity for a small place - but nothing is available here in Phoenix). But no one I knew was negative about my situation at all. I didn’t tell absolutely everyone - only if it fit into conversations. I am surprised that J & G got such weird feedback. 🧐
@@brandi8040 more so: they hate being presented with the reality that yes, its possible, and its in their hands to make it happen. It shows them that the only reason they arent there too, is because they didnt work on it. They feel guilty. Misery loves company after all. If everybody is in debt, its not that bad in their mind.
Jealousy. Also, living debt free means you are more boring. Everyone wants to hang around the "life of the party" kind of people.
Precisely why I keep people out of my business.
People WANT to be debt free, but don't want to do what it takes to actually BE debt free. I think when they see that you are debt free and they aren't, they are actually jealous, but also mad at themselves because they aren't willing to do what it takes. They feel like you are pointing that out to them - when in fact all you want is for them to be as happy as you are. It's a THEM problem, not a YOU problem. Keep on keeping on!!!! Congrats!
You do what you want. If people don’t do the work for what they say they want maybe they don’t really want it.
Ruth here, no they do not want to be debt free, they want to keep spending, my sister does taxes and she is amazed at what she hears and sees of course she doesn't give me much details, a few things she said was, they want to retire with debt 🤦♀️
Exactly I think they felt ashamed and lowkey jealous
So very true and well written. Great job guys.
Debt free is nothing to brag about. Weren't we ALL born debt free 😂
Unless my friends asked financial advice, I would never tell them I’m debt free. Just seems like that’s a private matter and could come across as boasting. 😊
So true ….. when you are going thru the multi year journey budgeting and paying down debt it hard not to be noticed or have to explain. Friends will ask to go to movies and you can’t bc that money is ear marked already ,…the the friends go to The movies with out you and they have to decide if they are dong something wrong financial or is it you ….. they choose you.
I tell them if they start making assumptions, like “Oh man, what the mortgage on that like?” or “At least you have a tax deduction.” If they want to bring up debt I have no problem telling them we didn’t borrow to buy the home. If more people did that home prices would be lower and the banks poorer.
I wish I had friends that were debt free. The best friends you can have are the ones that are doing well through their good decisions and want to share how they got there. You as an individual get better when you surround yourself with people that inspire you to be better through their own actions.
The hardest reality I had to come to terms with is that most people aren't happy for you. It's crazy how some people think when you better yourself it's a personal attack upon them. I lm on my way to debt free everything. Only think left is the house. I don't need a new car. I bought smart and have a great used vehicle. I'd love to have the newest and greatest but I'd rather not stress over money. Congrats to you guys.
I have friends that looked down on me because I worked less hours and made more money than they did. They just thought I was lazy for not working 40-50 hrs a week. I worked 28 and made plenty to cover my needs and wants. I say well done
fabulous!
Nice, Time freedom! Great Job!
Work to live..not live to work!!
This happened to us also. We were judge because we didn’t take the traditional path they did. They went to college, got a corporate job and work the 9-5 while my husband only puts on like 20-25 hours a week and I maybe put in 4-5 hours. Just monitoring our investments. I even had some straight up ask how we were able to afford our lifestyle. Because we live in the same neighborhood like they do and drive comparable type cars. But we get to enjoy traveling the world. I never talk about what we do. I’m very private. I think that’s also why they’re so curious. BTW, we have been living this way for close to a decade. My kids doesn’t even know what it feels like to have working parents.
@@tippytoe1250 what is it that you guys do? What are the investments? If you like to share.
If people aren’t supportive and happy about you winning than they are not your real friends. Keep crushing it!
Taylor this one is so true 👍.
Yup. It's tough with family though. They SHOULD be supportive....but sometimes not. The bigger win is the two of them are on the same page. :) most people have this problem with their partners (especially with finances).
वीवीबी
Or they're jealous. Jealousy is a mother!
Facts. I’ve had people tell me I’m luck for being thin. I’m like luck had little to do with it. I’ve been physically active since I was a kid and I take care to watch what I eat. They don’t like that of course.
I’ve had my closest friend and my mother tell me things I’ve actually done cannot be done. You have to do this for yourself and not let the outsiders drag you down. People don’t always mean to do it maliciously, which is why you have to stay the course no matter what they say! 🙏🏼♥️
It's cognitive dissonance on their part. Admitting it can be done (and they aren't doing it) is something their week mind is incapable of handling. Stay away from weak losers.
You guys are doing great!!! You just got cancelled by the non believers… too bad for them
You hit the nail on the head. People seem weirded out when you tell them you're pretty much retired, like it's not ok. I now only work fun jobs, for my enjoyment. I spend the extra time with family.
I like the "FU Money" phrasing -- it's not being "retired", but having the freedom to not be *obliged* to do something.
U live in a tent under a bridge? I bet u have lots of friends
@@pfeilspitzeyeah, like all those homeless people. Good job ( that was sarcasm)
@@bambinaforever1402We've got a jealous one here lads!
I stopped telling people. Only because I get very enthusiastic about it. And if they don't share the same energy it will come off as smuge. When really I just wanted them to be free as well. You can walk them to water. Can't make them drink.
Well said 👌🏽 Imma steal that last line ;)
Same! 100%
Totally feel u. I was excited about paying off my house and saw that others didn’t share the same excitement. I have no debt except my house. I set a goal to pay it off in 4 yrs. learning to keep it to myself.
Can’t always walk people to water even. I was closed minded to help for a long time myself.
I find the same thing! I just keep quiet unless a person asks. I work 2-3 days max. I also work at a job I love. Lazy? NO. I live the lifestyle I want and do not feel deprives at all. I travel.
My husband and I are also retired at 40 because we decided to live with less. We bought a rundown mobile home with land on the beach area in Fl for 20k. Everybody thought we were crazy for remodeling it. Now we're mortgage free and living the beach life. Ignore the haters and do what's best for your family. God bless 🙏
Over 40, no Kids and living in a van... holly sh.t you're really doomed 😂
I agree. If you can be content with spending less then its easier to get out of the rat race.
@@joanvallve7647but you're the one drowning in debt and fighting for your life in a rat race😂
@@corrosivedevourer Nope. I have no debt. Worked hard and saved since early 20s. We got three kids, finished paying house loan with 42. Because I am now 50, I can assure the approach of this couple will 99% end very bad. That said, I agree going into huge debt must be avoided but alternative can't be getting off of society and have no kids.
If that's how they enjoy life, let them enjoy it. Not everyone needs a home or kids
The problem we have is because Most people always taught that " you only need a good job to become rich " . These billionaires are operating on a whole other playbook that many don't even know exists.
That's very practical and smart goal, a wise man once said do everything you can to get outta debt, one of his tips to get rich.
The best approach for novices is to trade under the supervision of an expert, trust me you will be debt free.
Wish I knew about crypto trading earlier.stock is good but crypto is better. Brace up and get yourself a bitcoin before it's too late.
Crypto is the future, investing in it will be the wisest thing to do especially with the current rise.
Fear is one of the factors that hinder most people to invest into crypto, most people say ignorance.
I would be retiring or working less in 5 years, and I'm curious to know best how people split their pay, how much of it goes into savings, spendings or investments, I earn around $90K per year but nothing to show for it yet.
I recommend you seek the guidance of a broker or financial advisor.
It's gotten especially difficult since the pandemic, hence why I decided to use the expertise of an advisor, my spouse kicked against the idea initially, but oh well guess who's best buddies with our advisor now
@@mariaguerrero08Hi there, This got my attention, which advisor do you use and are you making more than average returns?
Definitely! All of this happened in less than a year after 'Gertrude Margaret Quinto' told me what to do. I started with less than $100,000, and now I'm about 17,000 short of having a quarter million dollars.
Thanks for the information!! She appears to be well-knowledgeable and accredited. I ran a Google search on her name and came across his website, thanks for sharing.
It's much like losing weight or getting fit...people want to know how you did it, but once you tell them and they realize it's not easy or glamorous, they lose interest. On top of that, they will also resent you deep down for achieving those goals.
This is so true. My good friend and I started Keto together last year and I stuck with it while she didn't. She had a family crisis with a lot of stress, so it was understandable. I was never not supportive when she brought it up. But now that quarantine is over, she still is too busy to see me. My husband says it's because I lost 30 lbs and look like I did in high school. (He might be biased. Lol). Inknow this is about Finance, just wanted to confirm I've experienced the same thing with weight loss.
@@SippsShanandT wow that’s sad. I can relate in a way. I had a friend who would get very defensive when SHE asked what I was about to do. I said “going to the gym” she would actually get upset and tell me I don’t have to workout cause I’m small. She would also make snarky comments. I told her working out isn’t about looking like a Instagram model to me, it’s about wanting to be healthy and reducing stress. Just because your not huge doesn’t mean your healthy internally. I was going through a positive change in life and moving forward. I cut her off in 2016.
@Amazon Orchid - It’s not you they resent, really, it’s themselves but they might vent their struggle upon you.
YEP.
Beautiful and true comment.
Sometimes friends and family get jealous too! Being debt-free is a huge accomplishment
We live on a “manufactured “ home with an acre of land and is very frowned upon when it comes up in conversation also. But let me tell you : we were CHILLIN!!! During the pandemic. We had zero worries about how we were going to make it . And currently are pregnant and also zero worries about future of baby other than normal parenting worries . Finances are not something we stress …. Happy to hear other people are doing the same
That’s sick tbh what’s property taxes like?
Yes I hate when Ramsey says don't but a manufactured home. It's asinine, it's a place to live not an investment, not everything that's a basic necessity has to be an investment. If you're putting money to the side in the event you need to buy a new one at least you have the land to put it on.
NM has some of the lowest . About 700 dollars or so per year .
Does manufactured home mean trailer? I m not from usa, i do not know what it means
@@robertwendal5894i do not know about usa, i live in europe. For us buying a REAL house IS an investment - u always sell it way more expensive than when u bought it. So like old people when they buy and are young, then it is all paid and children moved out u sell it, buy a smaller one and have loads of money to party till u die. What do u have if u buy a trailer?
I feel you, I have a lot of friends and family that are pissed off that I’m going to retire at age 52, after working there for 27 years. Only debt I will have is my house, I have paid off all of my other debt including $156k in student loans
Why would rmyou retire now if your house isn't paid off??? How much passive income do you have that it covers mortgage AND all basic necessities. Have you calculated the cost of living and cost of inflation? Taxes? These ALL go up EVERY year.. you don't need to retire at 52. In USA the age of retirement to collect full social security is age 67. You are still young In terms of retirement age. I think you're just burnt out. You should re consider
U better be makig 250k a year
What are other debts except house? Usa is one weird country
@@user_abcxyzzagreed this guy is am idiot will go bankruot
The biggest debt one tends to accrue is the only one you have left, and you want to retire? I think you need to reconsider
I bought my home in cash in 2/09 in the crash. Because of health issues I only work 30 hours a week!!! Im so thankful and grateful to God I dont have a house payment or a car payment 🙌🏽🙌🏽 Im working on becoming debt free. It helps me to be less stressed
Right on L Gee 🙌🏽 totally! I found that when I’m less stressed, I show up in the world better - serve my wife, community, and clients better! It’s more than just about financial freedom, it’s about peace.
@@gojereme yes for me it equals FREEDOM!!!! I really wish I could be off grid🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow fantastic!!
@@lgee9027 yes my ultimate GOAL
Good for u, Gee.
I always felt weird admitting to friends I have ZERO student loans bc usually they bring it up as something for us to relate to. So when they find out I don't have that debt, I can sense or see the looks on their faces, the feelings it brings up. I have explained how I managed to do school and avoid debt. The main thing is community college first, work/save up, shop tuitions at the BA level.... even MA... yes you can get an affordable degree in the USA.... it just is awkward to talk about with people who already went through the process and are tens of thousands deep in loans. Nowadays if someone brings up student debt I learned how to keep convo away from “how much do you owe?” and change topic to something else. No one really wants to talk about that stuff anyways. I am open to discuss methods of avoiding student loans with people who are still debating how to afford their schooling *and* ask me.
I graduated debt free also. Community college first and finished my AA & transferred to an affordable university. Leveraged my work’s tuition reimbursement etc. I worked full time all throughout school. I’m 25, make $130k and I also don’t have car debt. I got a car in 2021 that I knew I could pay off early. I drive a 2018 Honda fit that I paid off in 2.5 years.
@@kennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn1242 i’d love to know what kind of job you got that pays that big! My daughter has a masters in teaching, but teaching students these days is nothing like it was when my daughter was in school herself. Times are very, very different and teachers get hassled by students not only verbally, but physically daily. It’s a shame.
Wow. I m so glad i live in Europe - education is free, medical care is almost free. My husband and i have high education, so all our 5 children and their spouses - no school fees. Nada. Moreover government pays your accommodation fees and gives u some school money to live on. Not much, they stll have to work, but some money is better than no money
I told my wife to stop telling her friends were debt free because people tend to be jealous and even get angry when you're bettering yourself. Remember... Misery loves company. Not everyone wants to see you succeed.
When we paid off our home in 2001, I remember waking up and remembering our home is paid for now, for at least a year and the joy it gave me. It's a wonderful feeling not having any debt. Enjoy your freedom! Not having debt has made us millionaires for some time now.
I'm going through this now. Paid my mortgage off January 2021. I agree it's a fantastic feeling.
Yes, there will always be the property tax, but that's way lower than any rent would be.
I bet it is an awesome feeling. I have a lot of equity & would love to downsize - but here in Arizona, our real estate market is #1 in the country & there is literally nothing available. My kids are grown - I don’t need a 4 bed 3 bath house anymore. I could sell my home for top dollar, but the problem is there is nothing to buy out there.
@@davisholman8149 rent it bro
@@dominicruz You are right - I do plan to do that if I can find a place I want to live with two beds, two baths. I keep hunting for something - hard to find right now.
How did you become a millionaire if i may ask?
It takes 4 to 5 years for the compounding effect to become apparent. My wife and I became debt free over 20 years ago. After roughly 5 years we began seeing the fruits of our toil. Today, we have two paid for homes, a rental, great work(not a crappy old job) a couple of side hustles and preparations for retirement. I care not about impressing people or changing their minds. When you two are approaching your 50's, kids gone and the rest of your life ahead together, you will recognize the genius of your decision.
Wise words Mr. Curtis. You inspire me as a man in my early 30's.
The family members and friends who stopped talking to you because your debt free are not true family and friends! I am inspired by you!
I suspect that's not the reason they cut them out, that just makes zero sense.
When we decided to get out of debt we decided to keep everything we own to the ground while our friends kept upgrading. Having said that they’ve never criticise us. I think it’s time for you guys to make new friends.
I understand. I became completely debt free at age 35, mortgage and all, I lost so called “friends” to what I identify now as jealousy. It’s sad because I wanted them to feel how I feel and be debt free too but instead they cut me off. Being debt free really is isolating and I’d do it AGAIN. Lol
Me too. My feminazi mother, sister, and frenemies tried to sabotage me on many levels. My son will never know my mother or sister now. They made their manipulative choices, forcing me to choose my son's welfare.
SAME...
But why???? Why are people like this? I'd be jealous but a motivated to do it myself type of jealous
@@om3667 I think many peoples systems don't allow them to be debt free or the option of choosing different paths. I don't know that they are jealous but many people are buying equal to or more than they make. Your quote: (But why???? Why are people like this? I'd be jealous but a motivated to do it myself type of jealous)
I became debt free at 35 as well, but all my friends and family where excited and happy for me. So surprised that family and friends can be like that.
Finances are a very private matter. People are pissed because want your finances but are unwilling to discipline themselves. True friends understand and wish you the best and ask for tips, fakes realize they lost a free lunch and try somewhere else. You guys look like a great team. All the best.
You said it well. But you have to remember -- it's not just envy -- people don't like bragging -- and talking about how you became debt free -- in a way is bragging -- no matter what your intentions, or how subtle you think you are. So you have to be careful. I definitely agree best not to talk financial situation with friends and family.
I wasnt financial free until my 40’s and I’m still in my 40’s, bought my second house already, earn on a monthly through passive income and got 4 out of 5 goals, just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing!
Very inspiring! I love this.
Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated
@@eadad4371 Alright so generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (REGINA LOUISE COLLARO) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance. She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy...So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself..
@@skoopqueen. That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 I have had the intentions of starting investing. But I always thought it was late and I think I need to stop procrastinating. I will definitely 🔍 Regina Louise Collaro and see what she can advise .Thanks a lot . This was of so much help to me .
@@eadad4371 You can easily find her details online by searching her name. She even got featured on CNN recently, she's quite easy to work with irrespective of your location
Congratulations (I know it is a year or so later!) Great job and honest video!
I fully understand not telling even family! 5 siblings and I was the only single parent - I never purchased a house until I was 48. I had changed careers from corporate to opening a little shop (family poo-pood it) two years before (after a vacation to Europe) and ended up paying off the house and a new car in 8 years - I had no life but I was terrified of debt! I actually cried the day I signed the purchase agreement - I had never had that much debt in my life!! When I accomplished the payoffs my dad proudly told my siblings my journey and accomplishment (parents and grown child fully supported me) ... I was surprised at my siblings' reaction!! Even heard, "well you didn't have a spouse to worry about ..." "... you only had one child ..." I said yeah was so easy with one income with no sick leave or vacation time I didn't fully plan for! I hate to admit it but it does make me look at my siblings differently - seeing a side of them I had never seen.
Wow.
A spouse is not a child....nobody should be "worrying about a spouse" lmao you're siblings are asanine
People always want to downplay achievements in order to make themselves feel better. I've always gotten hit with the "oh you're single, no kids, no house payment, no bills" yeah right, cuz at that time my tuition was free, my car was free, insurance internet, phone, food, and much more, all of it! Totally free, no worries for me huh?
Good job on becoming a homeowner! Ignore those kinds of comments and do not tell them of your successes, just enjoy it.
@@magnawaves You nailed it. When faced with the success (or even the joy/happiness) of another, many tend to compare themselves and begin to "victor-shame" by putting their own excuses onto the one they envy. I choose peace and positivity.
My experience is that some people do want to be debt free, they just don't want to do the hard work to get there and especially to stay there.
I think it may be more people think being in debt is a norm. Born in debt, live in debt, die in debt. Now I totally agree that many don't want to do the hard work or have the discipline it takes to actually live debt free.
@Pike Lane It is your choice....
It's no different than losing weight.
@Pike Lane You have no idea if they will make wise your choices with your money, but you may be on the road to building generational wealth. Why are they salivating over your $$$ and you are still alive? Don't lord it over them,,,, money should be spent, saved, donated, and invested, not used to manipulate others.
@Pike Lane My mom and stepdad told us to select stuff incase they pass away to pass down to us. And I told them I don't want they're stuff I want them. Ill earn my own future, but material gains will never fill the void of losing a loved one. They somewhat understood.
After recently seeing they're relatives taking advantage of my grandpa who had Alzheimer's walking into his house and walking off with furniture like he was already dead because he wouldn't remember by tomorrow...I told myself I wont be them. After my grandpa died the only one who cried at his funeral was my step dad the rest were fighting over his money...and then when the will was announced they were pissed to find out that they didn't get a dime it went to my step dad who invested it. And im proud of him for not giving in.. they were already wealthy doing government jobs they didn't need the money. my step dad was struggling he runs a trucking company that was being beating out of the competition by bigger businesses stealing his clients.
So my advice to you. Observe your children and see which ones actually care about you and which ones only have they're eyes on your material wealth. If it were me Id want to give it to someone who cared for me rather than someone who couldn't care if I died.
FYI: u didn’t lose any friends while going on and succeeding in ur debt-free journey……cause if that’s the case, they weren’t ur friends to begin with
you can be a motivational speaker and go event to event with just that one statement. i felt that one deep within with my own debt-free journey 😭
@@tatianabritton6258 same thing happened to me. By the time I made it to being 100% debt-free, I only had a few ppl remaining in my corner.
And then I went on my alcohol-free journey (was an alcoholic before)….and find myself pretty much solo these days.
I do have days of weakness where I wonder if it was worth it, but overall, I wouldn’t take any of it back. Being debt-free and alcohol-free were the best decisions I could’ve ever made for myself….and were also the toughest decisions to make and stay committed to.
@@randygonzalez5758 it’s funny because you would think your “friends” would want nothing but the best and success for you but in reality most of them come bearing the complete opposite in hope of your failure. and to find the beauty out of an ugly situation, im glad to have experienced such irony, it helped me grow as a person and as an adult. that situation really helped me understand not everyone is your friend.
I stumbled across your channel and your story rings true with a lot of people.. My wife and I work for over 20 years. To payoff are mortgage, And become debt free....
And we found all people just think now that we have all this money and that are better than them..
And that's simply not true..
I've had family members and said .it must be nice to be rich.... Not realizing we poured everything we had into paying off our bills... Everyone has a story I think it's important to do what makes you happy.
This is our experience! What a courageous, exciting couple! Don't stop! You are free and have so many options in your life. Teach that little baby about how to handle money and honor God!
Any god in particular? Churches: Major land owners, plenty in the coffers. Paedo paradise. More indoctrination and hypocrisy. Sigh....
It’s not that people don’t understand, it’s called envy. You guys managed to be debt free and retire early. So kudos to you guys, many blessings to you and your new baby.
❤❤❤
Yeah. And people envy what you have but not what you did to get it.
Yes, but it's more the mental block on top of envy. People just don't think it's possible or think they have to give up too much to achieve it. My friend believes it's impossible to cut anything out of his $5000 a month expenses. I live on $1,700 a month and he thinks it's impossible.
Debt free doesn't mean no bills. Do they have passive income to cover minimum expenses??? If not then shouldn't be thinking of retirement. Bills won't pay themselves
@@FreedomTalkMediaamen
Im glad i watched this video because i was starting to feel alone in my situation.i have been getting negative feedback from friends and coworkers because most of them seem to be spending blindly while i just keep saving and paying down debt. When there an event i find myself telling them no. I dont eat out , go to the movies, or really do parties. im just so focused cause i just want to get out of debt so badly. i like your story.
Same here... even pre pandemic, I started going out less with friends, and they didn't understand... "oh, there will always be debt" they told me... 🙄 not my truth!!💯💯💯💯
I'm proud of you
@@LGnLA there will always be debt because that is the system we live in. We gotta get rid of this system.
Well done! Keep your head down and stay focused. You can do it!
Way to go Ray. Keep pushing and doing you.
I found out the hard way not to talk to anyone about finances. Like you guys said your circle of friends collapsed and it’s hard to relate to people. Glad there are people out there who can relate and support one another in our journeys.
My experience was exactly the same. I reached FIRE 2 years ago, left full time work to work 2 days a week. It's difficult not to be excited and want to share your journey and how you did it with family and friends. I found out after the first 6 months that people were not really happy with how I achieved it or that I was only working 2 days a week. When people ask what I do for work I tell them but don't mention it's only 2 days a week.
Its funny seeing the look on a coworkers face when they say 'man it sucks you only work 2 or 3 days a week, money must be tight' and I reply 'nah, I am completely happy with it actually, I dont want to work anymore than that'. They just dont understand it, it just doesn't compute and they need to reboot so they just stare at you for a few seconds.
I retired at 56 years old and single. I found out immediately who were my real friends. I understand how you feel. Embrace being a Unicorn and you will attract positive people that will support your journey.
Same, but I'm married. We're retiring at the end of the year and people look at us like we're crazy or rich. It's taken our entire adult life to prepare for this. Looking forward to freedom and enjoying life.
I understand completely. I am 57. Just paid off the last of my debts except for my vehicle. People can’t understand why I’d live like this. I think a lot of the problem is JEALOUSY.
@@estherjamack7717 Congratulations. It takes discipline and sacrifice to get to this point. Enjoy!!
There’s three Ps that I don’t discuss with people:
Paychecks
Prayers
Politics
It never ends well. They will resent you for it because they see your success as a spotlight on their failure. You do YOU and don’t let anyone try to make you feel as inferior as THEY feel about themselves.
The whole society has become numb and thinks that living in debt is the norm for a long time. It's like swimming in a cold lake and once for a few minutes, everything seems normal.
I’m going to take this advice as pure wisdom! Thank you!
I disagree. Politics and God are the 2 most important things to discuss. We have been brainwashed to keep silent
The three Ps are the things that get the most clicks and views on here LOL
Add being vegan!
People don’t understand that debt free is not the same as “rich”.
In my opinion, you have chosen wisely. You own your time which is infinitely more valuable than stuff.
My new mother in law keeps laughing and saying “you’ll never be debt free”. I just don’t think they understand the magnitude and the steps of what we’re trying to do. We want to be the first debt free scream for paying off a farm on Dave Ramsey’s show!
Keep going!
@@DavidHowe-nv1nb ya no debt on the land or cows, it won’t really matter what calf prices are!
I feel like when people say you will never be debt free they are basically saying your not good enough or hard working enough to succeed
I’m from New York City and live in Miami so I don’t know about farms and this is totally to support you and it’s the only scream I can think of.....YEEEEEHAAAAAW!
God bless you and you can do it.
@@kirkalderson1017 - I think they are reflecting their own inadequacies or inhibitions. They are basically telling you they will never be debt free. Probably the toughest part is figuring out a house. Most people borrow to get a home including myself. That's why Dave Ramsey excludes it from the no debt list. He does however state to be smart about the purchase. He says to have 20% down and keep it on a 15 year mortgage or shorter. I'm not quite so strict when people ask me for advice. That first home is especially tough to get. My recommendation is make sure you plan on being in it at least 7 years especially if you are taking a 30 year mortgage else don't buy a home. Also try to make at least one extra payment a year if not more. As far as things like credit cards just do without. I've not had a credit card in years. Last time I had any was about 20 years ago when they were giving large cash advances at zero percent for a year or more. I literally took thousands of their dollars, stuck it in 5%+ CDs, and made money off their money. Had to be careful that I didn't miss any payments though. Fine print stated it had to all be paid back prior to the end of the 0% time frame else they back charged all interest. Dave's right about playing with snakes.
I grew up in poverty which taught me first hand to never get into debt and save. My mother lived on credit, raising 3 kids alone. It scared me never knowing if we’d have a roof over our head or food. Christmas was canceled several times with my mom feeling so bad that she couldn’t provide. I am a super saver and have been piling money away for decades. I was laughed at by some, saying I never treat myself to things. I always brought my lunch, wouldn’t buy $5 coffees and am just not into shopping in general. I don’t feel deprived. What I would spend money on is funding my retirement accounts and other savings. Today I am financially set for life. Work is optional and I don’t apologize or care what others think. You two are doing the right thing.
Good for you guys! As they say haters are going to hate.People don't understand you don't need to keep up with the world, you don't need big homes,new cars, fancy vacations. It is so nice to know you don't owe anyone.
I feel your pain !! My wife and I became debt free in 1999 after paying off our 1st house in just 11 years. You would think your friends and especially your family would be happy for you and my parents were happy for us but not so much with some of my co-workers that I shared the news with, notice I didn't call them friends. Sadly their jealousy usually turns into anger and they start saying bad things about you but I moved on and just ignore it. Turns out I was doing Dave Ramsey type things to get out of debt before Dave got famous and I still watch his vids and learn new tips and tricks from him. Enjoy your new found freedom and don't worry about the naysayers, put them in your rear view mirror !!!
Congratulations on your financial journey. We are $26,500 away on our mortgage of becoming debt free. Baby step 7 before halloween ! 37&35
You'll make it and it will feel wonderful. We paid off our house several years ago and don't look back. We look at money in a different way and we don't care what others say. We're free to do what we want and our boys won't leave college with debt either.
You are so close! Keep it up!
Wow. Definitely....I don't like you!!! ;)
Outstanding! Enjoy this large accomplishment when it comes.
Exciting for u! That’s insanely great
Great video! Debt free here. Life is easy debt free! If people are weird around you due to your dreams and vision, find a new group of friends!
Only insane people would want to keep personal debts, intentionally. Business debt is different.
This is kinda awkward, hmm...hmm...now that you're debt free wanna help a brother out? i could be your new life long friend!
Yessss so freeing
Same here. We're completely debt-free too! No house, no car, no credit card payments. Nothing! Only siblings know as it's their goal too. But none of our friends know. And we intended to keep it that way!
There is a lot of truth to this, we found out. Be very VERY selective with whom you share personal finance info.
seeing this video 2yrs after you posted, my wife and I became mortgage free a couple of months ago, thankfully most of our family and friends are happy for us
Congrats!!!! What an accomplishment!
I feel you guys 100%. I've been on the FIRE track before it ever became a trend. I have lived a frugal and non-conventional lifestyle. Surprising and disappointing how friends & family members react to my decisions (Ex: not to buy an engagement ring, not to own a couch, live below my means). I support and understand y'all 100%!! May God bless your family.
"The price of being yourself, is other people's angst about you being yourself." - Whoopi Goldberg
💯🔥
I find it weird that people shut you out just because you weren't in debt. That sounds like red flags. I think a lot of people can't even imagine having no debt choking you monthly and so they feel threatened. You all inspire me!!
They realize they cannot manipulate you to get things from you lmao
I'm so happy for you guys being so young and doing this. It happened to me, too. Friends and family started to resent me because I was doing well and wasn't desperate like they thought I should be. They want to see you struggle so they can smirk and say, "life's not as easy as you thought, is it?"
Funny that people even want to say that, like it’s hard for everyone, no duhhhh 😂 “it’s hard” is so damn relative
I was in the same situation . My friends said I was dump not to invest and many people said my interest rate was too low to pay off. My parents believed in me and supported me. Today in this horrible economy, I am home debt free, cars are paid off, and I can afford toys and hobbies. I wake up carefree with only the idea that I need to work to afford property tax and small bills. The rest I can invest without the worry of having nothing . I am free.
We don't need all these things we are taught we need
It's true, but what would happen to the economy if everyone jumped on board with these debt-free strategies? It would collapse. So that's my only issue with them (ie, they are economic niches that exist for a few to take advantage of, only _because_ thousands of other people _aren't_ doing the same thing. So not a scalable solution for society at large).
Agreed!!
@@nataliaturner4845 honestly, most of us (people) are struggling while trying to live this way society expects us to live. Debt is a form enslavement and it’s killing us. I don’t think it’s a good idea for people to continue the rat race for the greater good of the economy. I want peace. Sometimes I’m just soo tired in every way.
@@nataliaturner4845 look around you. How many people do you know or see actually truly not caring about what other people think. Humans are extremely superficial and envious of others. A lot of people say “I don’t care what others think” but how many actually truly live their life based off that. Very few. Everyone is trying to show off their “success” even when they’re failing. The economy has nothing to worry about with people spending money they don’t have. I’ll admit I used to be like that but as I got older (late 30s now) I really truly don’t care about superficial garbage. I buy the cheapest clothes off Amazon and drive a Jeep I’ll keep until it dies on me. I have zero debt and when I use my credit cards(always for points) I pay them off immediately. It really is a much better feeling than being able to show off material things.
I recently heard a statement that stuck: 'Society's goal is to raise good consumers!'' So true! We can 'cut the cord' so to speak and live differently. Keep posting.
I have heard Dave Ramsey say, "Be weird or be broke."
I am 55 years old with very little set aside for retirement at this point. I have always been curious about the stock market and have witnessed some people who played the game right and retired early because they used the stock market. When I ask them, most said that they invested very little to start with, but their portfolio grew. I do have a significant amount of capital that is required to start up but I have no idea what strategies and direction I need to approach to help me make decent returns.
@@santiagoagustine3749 Buy index funds if you wanna be safe, though you are probably be better off just going to Vanguard or something for that
@@santiagoagustine3749 Even with the right technique and assets some investors would still make more than others, as an investor, you should've known that by now, nothing beats experience and that's final, personally I had to reach out to a market analyst for guidance which is how I was able to grow my account close to a million, withdraw my profit right before the correction and now I'm buying again
@@jaluriaja6294 who is your financial coach, do you mind hooking me up?
Don’t tell anyone how much money you got! Tell them you are in debt, broke and are struggling so they leave you alone. Otherwise there is always someone who’s trying to leech from you!
😂😂
When the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear. That’s how to gauge who to “share” your info with.
Keep living and enjoying your life. It’s called personal finance.
This is good advice
Never heard that piece of wisdom stated quite like that. I love it. Thanks for sharing!
Another saying with a similar idea is that all are Buddhas but most are sleeping and will not respond well if someone tries to wake them ahead of their time.
You both should be very proud of yourselves with what you have acheived.
Great to see that you both have the same mindset. A couple working together can get a lot accomplished. I saw that with my parents and aunts and uncles growing up
This was a major struggle for me. I always want to help people and share what helped me, but they got offended. So I learned as you did to not give unsolicited advice, which is fair.
If the student is ready the youtube video will pop up ;) if your friends will ever be ready to get rid of the shackles they will find the information or the information will find them. If they realize to a degree that you paid down (a lot of) debt they could even ask you for advice. In the age of the internet you do not need to worry that lack of information will hold them back, that they somehow miss out by bad luck on the methods and inspiration.
. Back in the day if folks did not go to church, or listen to certain radio shows they would never hear of Dave Ramsey.
And if they never travelled to other wealthy countries in Europe * or Asia they never experienced first hand how shocked people are about the debt culture in the U.S. These days they can find out that other people have vastly differing opinions - if they want to find out.
* There are of course people that have to much (and usually) high interest consumer debt. It used to be catalogue shopping for the shopping addicted that went into debt (not so much credit cards), now it can be online shopping (but the limits on Credit cards are stricter). People may overdraw their banking accounts though. 10,000 - . 50,000 or in rare cases 100.000 USD on credit cards is very unusual or unthinkable. Not only for cultural reasons but the banks (that hand out the credit cards and almost always handle the chequing account) would not grant such balances. The banks have to secure the balance for VISA, MASTERCARD, etc. - and the banks are subject to consumer protection laws.
And as it is not culturally acceptable - there exist laws that protect stupid people from themselves. Not completely but better than in the U.S.
“Misery loves company” as the saying goes!!!
Your story inspired me and my wife!!! Thanks 😊
Good Luck to you and your wife!! My and I will be debt free in 6 months, I'm 60 and wife is 58 so if you're younger that's great!!!
@@senorlovato1388 awesome!!! I’m 38 and she is 40 so we definitely can do this!
Congrats. I was in debt when I got married, then my husband expain to me "You can make interest or Pay interest", It was eye opening to me. We are debt free. It is so freeing.
tHanks for the simple yet perfect explanation, "you can make interest or pay interest".
My wife and I just recently paid off all of our debt and we're in our 50s. I wish we'd been as sensible as you two when we were younger. You've opened up so much potential in your future by removing that burden of debt. Society conditions people to be codependent and debt is the biggest part of that. Congratulations to guys, may your future be prosperous.
50s is still great, that's our goal for my wife and I (we live in different country where government takes like 60-65% of your gross income so financial freedom is very limited). I think most americans have debt even in retirement age so by this metric you are doing great.
People will never be comfortable talking about their finances when it come to their debts. I myself have been living debt free now for the last 11 years and I have never felt the peace of mind that I now have. No stress worrying about how easily your life can spiral out of control when you lose your job or health problems and medical bills put you into bankruptcy. I know how easily we convince ourselves that will never happen to me but it did and it opened my eyes. It forced me to make some adjustments to my thinking; also as a fan of Dave Ramsey I started by saving money instead of spending every penny I made. Today I am debt free my house is paid for no mortgage, no car payment, no credit cards at 30% interest rates. Living the good life you are blessed no matter what your friends may think.
You gotta call it like it is... Haaaterrrrs!! I deal with the same thing. I started out poor, worked hard, lived in a broke down house in a broke down neighborhood, and now...I’m earning over $350k a year, and I’m still a debt free millionaire. Be proud of your accomplishments, but stay humble. You’re at the point now when the journey is getting easier and easier.
What do you do to make 350k?
Yessss!!!
@@whyjustwhy2168 I’m a preconstruction manager for a union construction company in LA. They pay me pretty well. I also own 7 paid off rental properties that pull me in a good size passive income.
@@buildingbuildercip8292 ok nice!
@@buildingbuildercip8292 So happy for you, sir. The American Dream right there.
My husband and I totally relate to this! There was an unspoken tension whenever we would talk about money around certain people. Some people just seem jealous or defensive about it. It sucks because we just wanted to share something huge and exciting going on in our life with people we care about. We stay tight-lipped for the most part now too.
I can relate to tour story. Tight lips it is.
I tried to follow the rule of 9. Try to follow and hang out with 3 people “above” you, 3 on same level, and 3 “under” you, financially. What I came to realize is it’s not the difference of “wealth” but it’s the difference of mindset. Some people are just ok being broke and looking rich. And if they’re ok with that, who am I to judge? I still hang out with friends that are technically “broke” but I never give unsolicited advices. If they seek one, of course I’m happy to share some knowledge.
My wife and I are debt free at 49 and have been for 4 years. A combination of paying ahead on our mortgage, refusing credit card debt, good fortune on a rental house during a health crisis, and selling a house during a peak has made this possible. I believe that our imperfect but disciplined behavior under God's grace upon us has made this happen.
People are all about hearing your tips but lose interest once they realize how much work is needed and how many sacrifices are made to achieve financial freedom. Nothing worth having comes easy and you do not need friends like that.
We focus more on what we have to lose than what we will gain
I can totally relate. I've been debt free including my mortgage for a few years now. My family was making fun of me saying oh you're frugal now bc I'll not go shopping or buy unnecessary things anymore. I said I can't live the same lifestyle and expect different results something has to give. I was hoping my siblings would see the financial and emotional benefits and start making smart decisions but no they still love to consume and be in debt. One said everyone has debt you can't be debt free in America 🤦. I said with that mindset you'll always be in debt. I realized you just have to do what's best for you can't change people when they're not ready to change.
Exactly! All my family tends to see is my 20yo minivan, not that we've been FI for a few years, retired way early, etc. They just complain about their jobs LOL
Stay strong.
Sounds like my sisters and my coworkers. I've been trying to get my sister to open an IRA for 3 years. Takes 5 minutes, and she still hasn't. Went over her expenses and said she could knock out some credit card debt in a couple months if she wanted too. She said she would rather pay the minimums so she has free money to spend, even after I explained that she'd lose more to interest, and what more does she need to spend on if the budget she outlined is accurate?? Later she complains about how she's always hit with Emergency expenses so its hard to budgeting and I tried to explain how to budget for that with an emergency fund... whats not clicking!! Now, her husband is unemployed, they have 2 kids, and "money's too tight to make a plan" yet somehow she's buying 8 Christmas presents each for her kids who are under 2 years old. Instead of giving the old toys to the little one, she's getting new toys 🤦♀️
Its very difficult for me to sympathize with people that dig themselves in holes. We had all the privilege in the world growing up and this is how she CHOOSES to live her life
My other sister racks up credit card debt like nothing and she's more receptive to my views but doesn't take significant actions. But at least she has started her IRA. But she won't have access to a 401k so thats just not enough to do an IRA alone. And it seems like neither sister talks to their partner about money. What the hell?!
No one in my family or who knows me, disputes that I'm a penny pincher. There's no need to even joke about it, because I'll confirm it.
@pdawg216
People just love to spend. Just let them enjoy their spending, but let them know that you're not helping them with a dollar when things go side ways.
People just don't want good advice. They probably see you as a nuisance. Just talk about everything else, except debt or financial issues.
I totally restructured my entire life. I am now debt free. I own my home without a mortgage. These moves enabled me to return to school and earn two degrees. I'm bow embarking on a new high paying career (starting year two). I've tried to encourage friends and family. At this point I feel i have no friends or family. Tough for all of them! If they can't be happy for me they were never really there for me anyway.
I'm turning 60 and also debt free. I've decided to retire at the end of this year. I don't have a ton of money but, I also don't have a lot of time left on this earth. I'm not going to work myself into a grave.
I so get this, we've been on this journey for years and friends really didn't understand at first. Then last year a good friend was so excited to tell me that she had put a few hundred dollars aside until she could buy new furniture in cash! People are paying attention even if they don't seem to agree, you're setting an example.
I’ve had the same thing happen with one of my friends.
Don’t apologize for being wiser and more educated on how money and debt works. You two will be super happy when you retire early and have investments to provide for the rest of your life. Besides, you can pass this lifestyle on to your children so they can live better lives and less money stress. Good job you two!
I just got my debts paid off and have been saving to complete my full 6 months of emergency fund so I can start putting away for a house. In my family I was the in debt guy so they are kinda "its about time" rather than "what you are doing is weird". I look at where I was 3 years ago vs where I am now and it feels so good.
Good for you and best of luck in your financial (and personal) future!! 🙏🏻💖
One thing I found when I became debt free, was how much disposable income I had at the end of every month. My wife and I live in a modest older house that we own outright. I drive an older truck that I paid cash for. We do have Visa cards but we ensure that we zero the balance every month. I know that we have friends and family who don’t understand why we live so frugally (some would say cheaply) but I don’t care; we live for us not for them. I stopped telling people that we live debt free as well because I didn’t want to come across as arrogant or condescending. Debt is slavery, and that Master is a cruel one.
"we have friends and family who don’t understand why we live so frugally (some would say cheaply) but I don’t care; we live for us not for them." 💯
An old women I met randomly, shared with me her view point about sharing goals, and achievements, she told me (to just do it ) Get educated, travel, buy the house, workout, look beautiful and to not tell anyone, she said that some people are in a certain level and can sabotage and drag you to there level. What you guys are doing is amazing! inspirational,and motivating. May God bless everything your hands find to do!
YAY! Be strong! You work for time freedom! People work for cars, house, vacations, pricey dinners out, the latest $1000 phone or gadget, expensive purses, nails, tools, you name it.. that is their choice. I work for freedom! I don't have to work 8 hrs, I choose to work 4 hours a day now, because my expenses are low, and my time freedom is high!!! It is work to pay things off, but highly worth it. Now, I clock out for the day at 11:30 in the morning!!
LOL .. who's laughing now.
your job allowed you to cut down your hours by half or you're self employed?
Post reply to this comment as well please
Remember the old term "misery loves company", it's true!!! Live joyfully!!!
At nearly 40 years old, having a small friend group that supports us regardless of our journey is worth more than anything. Quality over quantity! We sold our house in the city and bought a dilapidated old farmhouse to be debt free, and having our best friends willing to pick up a hammer and help us has meant the world!
There’s a huge movement going on called “move in silence.” Haters and naysayers can plant seeds of doubt . And we can make ourselves look like fools in the process if the plan doesn’t come to fruition . Don’t tell them , show them !
I like that. "Move in silence"!
Yea, I did this. I never told my family that I moved. Once I did, all of the comments came pouring in.
They don't know my address and I doubt I will be inviting them over anytime soon.
Great advice!
I agree!
This has always been a thing sensible ppl do.
Dont gloat, dont announce, dont celebrate until u have the success u aimed for. Too many ppl announce to the world and on social media "hey everyone look at me, im going on a:
weight loss journey
debt free journey
meditation journey
(Insert whatever flavor of the month) journey"
Then u bump into them 3 months 6 months later and ask them about their "journey" and they did nothing of the sort or just got fatter and end up looking like a fool.
Much easier to just develop self discipline for yourself and not for the gram or for likes.
I work in Finance and I wish more people thought like you. We are debt free and able to enjoy life a lot more. Travel and building memories. My wife and I are stress free too
My wife and I avoid bad debt like the plague! awesome story guys! At the end of the day, the best decisions are those, that you as a family unit, agree upon.
I am debt free but some members of my family think it near impossible to get by without borrowing/credit. I am so grateful that everything I have, I own. And even if what I own isn't a lot, I still owe no one for it. Blessed beyond measure. It IS possible with the Lord.
I completely see where you guys are coming from. I’ve been a travel nurse for the last 7 years and I worked a bunch of overtime to pay off my student loans and pay for my husbands Physician Assistant schooling. So many of my friends told me I would regret working so much in my 20s. My eye was on the prize with becoming debt free and being able to eventually become a stay at home mom! People simply didn’t understand that desire and that’s where I figured out we all have different priorities. But now I’m 32 and enjoying taking the travel nurse jobs I want and working as little or as much as I want! My husband and I are now saving up for a house! I’d love to buy our house in cash but this market is crazy. Anyway, thank you for making this channel and sharing your story!!! It’s nice to see people go against the grain of what society tells us - to buy whatever whenever and be in debt. Ha!
I for one am very grateful for this channel. I’ve never seen working for peace modeled. I’ve only seen crazy hustle, debt, stress etc and I’ve known I was NOT built for that kind of life. Once I heard you say if you own your own home your basically retired, something inside of me clicked. I had already looked at Michigan because I googled states with the cheapest real estate, and once I saw your video it just felt like confirmation. People have such complicated relationships with money, it’s difficult to share because you never know what stories they’re creating about your situation. I’m sorry you lost close ones over something that should be celebrated. I hope you enjoy making these CZcams videos because they’ve been a great source of inspiration for me.
Basically nobody is built for debt stress. The system just makes everyone think everyone else is able to handle it.
I commend you having this mindset and self awareness. I’m moving to Bogota where my expenses will be 10% of my income (rental property) Became debt free in 2013.
I feel it’s so hard not to share with family and friends about your goals because you get so excited, but I’ve found that people get jealous and some get competitive. Like I would tell some of my friends for example that I would want to get a type of car or travel to a certain country, and they would do it before me, or if I shared my dream, they would go and do it exactly as I had told them I would execute my goal. Now I’ve learned that it’s better not to say anything at all and just tell them until I’ve had accomplished my goals/dreams.
That’s a helpful message, and I’m sorry for those strained relationships. You all communicate with grace and humility!
My husband and I struggle so much with this. We've been debt free for years now, it wasnt even something we really planned for it just happened as our salaries rose. We're 2 income with no kids and we make about 250k at the moment. I grew up poor in an afro-latin family. The alienation, guilt, feeling if responsibility to my less fortunate friends/family has plagued me for about 3-4 years now. I'm working through it and doing my best to redefine my life, boundaries and values now after seeing first hand that some people will just never really want an easier, more peaceful life. It's a hard pill to swallow. People will complain, or need help but never admit that they could just do things differently. What you said about your father in law working to have peace, not just to have money really resonated with me. I'm going to do my best to remind myself that peace is the ultimate purpose to all of this and not feel guilty for wanting that.
I’ve felt alienated too. I have a similar story..only thing is we have kids with around the same income.
Sis, enjoy your peace and prosperity 🙏🏾
What a power couple! Amazing!
Amen to that! I can relate. People want others to help them but they don't want to help themselves really.
We too are DINKS (dual income no kids) and are high earners.
We do not show off our money at all. Most people assume we are financially struggling because we chose to live in a lower middle income area, use coupons, only shop on deep discount, etc.
The only remaining “debt” we have is our mortgage which we can pay off in less than 5 years and we just purchased the house april 2022. We just use or excess to invest because the ROI is higher than paying off our mortgage any faster than 5 years.
Good for you two! We experienced the same thing during our journey and still do. We lived in a camper for 5 years with 4 kids, so we could become debt free. Moved to a different state. Bought our land with cash 3 years ago. My husband has been building our house step by step as we had the money. Off grid, with only a satellite bill and pay as you go phones. We just moved in last month! We got a lot of looks and disapproval from people because we did this with 4 kids. "Debt is the way of life" is what we heard a lot. BUT we are both 35, I stay home with our now soon to be five kids, no debt, 3 totally manageable luxury bills and whatever we want to do next!! ♥️ Congrats again!
Wow.you guys did great
Excellent job, you guys! This is EXACTLY what I’d love to do. Y’all rock.😎
My role models! Where should I look for land ?
Wow - that is fantastic!👏🏼
People come in and out of your lives. You are going up, maturing while they see themselves as getting left behind. That is on them...not you. Never apologize for leveling up. It is a challenge and a sacrifice to many people are not willing. Don't let them make you feel wrong when itnis them.
My wife and I became debt free back in 2008 with no mortgage, no car payments and no credit card debt, I tried to encourage other people and give advice in the beginning, but with no success gave up, most people do not want to here it. Saving money really became easy after being debt free, cannot put any price on peace of mind, it was the best decision we ever made in our lifetime! I am happy for you both, Congratulations!! I do believe money is the greatest of all evils with people!!
Your friends and family couldn't receive your good news because now you can't be miserable with them..misery loves company.
Take the hint, get new people in your life because the present ones don't want to grow, and will only hinder your growth if you keep them in your life.
The ugly face of jealousy rears it's head
I’m afraid that may be true. I just don’t like to think about that because it doesn’t make sense why some friends/family would think that way, ya know? I love them, want the best for them, and want to celebrate their life wins not be jealous of them.
Ugly indeed, but jealousy can be godly as well as it can be sinful. Envy, however, is never virtuous. Modern English has made the two terms to mean the same thing. Just a thought...
@@gojereme I am like you, Jereme. Jealousy isn’t something I have a problem with. I am genuinely happy for others who have good thing happen!🤑
Never tell anyone, even family that you are debt free or have a large nest egg of money. Not even our kids know how much money we really have. Just live your life as you always would. My wife is retired and I will be in a couple years. We have been frugal with our money and invested well. We both had the same feeling about money and what was worth spending money for and what was not. We have friends the same age we know are deep in debt and will never be able to retire in the life style they project. I'm sure they think we are in the same boat as them.
When I was working, some if my co-workers would call me a "cheap b**ch," because I would pack my lunch etc instead of going out to eat. I knew I wanted to retire early, so I practiced frugality for years. I retired debt free at the age of 52. I have a nice pension as well as investments. My husband is retiring in June of 2024 at the age of 54. I blocked out the naysayers and continued down my path. Debt freedom equals time freedom.
I retired at 58 years old with a paid off home and car in Portland Oregon.
I wish I could tell all young people how important this is!
Now I only do work that I love (organizing gigs occasionally and part time work at a horse barn).
I will begin volunteering as a horse 4-H assistant leader on October 23.
My life is my own.
(Well, it’s God’s, and I am along for the ride.)🙋♀️😃
It is such a hard lesson when we learn that people we love and who are supposed to love (or at least like) us don't rejoice in our achievements. Don't waste your time trying to figure out why. It just is what it is. You are a wonderful, courageous young couple. Keep up the good work, trust God, and teach your son by your actions what real love is. An old lady in Florida.
I've thought about moving to Florida or at least visiting someday.