Communication Hack for Connection & Influence |
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- čas přidán 5. 04. 2021
- What if there was a simple change you could make to communicate more collaboratively and with more influence, while also encouraging greater creativity?
There is!! You’ve got to try this!
It’s a super simple communication hack that has a HUGE impact on how others feel when they’re around you, and can have a massively positive impact on your relationships (both professional and personal!).
Here’s why:
The word ‘BUT’ becomes a form of psychological invalidation. It rejects, dismisses or minimises someone else's thoughts or feelings.
“I’m so sorry you feel that way, BUT…”
“That’s a great idea, BUT…”
“You’re a great team member, BUT…”
Instead, swap it for another three-letter word, and trust me - you’ll notice the difference!
#shorts
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Question: in the example that you just gave, aren't you just giving implicit agreement of someone's idea when you don't infact agree with it? It's great to make people feel validated but it shouldn't come at the expense of going along with whatever they're saying.
Thanks for the question. I'll give you 2 examples of replies in the context of how to substitute 'but' with 'and' in the context of collaborating with someone that's disagreeable and has equal or more power - without having to agree.
USING BUT
"We could re-hire contractor X because they're familiar with our site protocols BUT they're expensive and a little slow. I think we can find better deals."
USING AND
"We could look at rehiring contractor X since they're already familiar with our work-site, AND just to make sure we're getting good value with timely delivery, let's get a couple of other quotes from reputable contractors who are also familiar with our type of worksites."
Hope this helps!
How are you so amazing! Where were you in my 20s?!! Better late than never!
@@ShadeZahrai I learn this in Never split the difference :-) And I use it ever since.
You look stunning...just a wish it i was able to be your husband...
👁️
Her voice is so perfect.
Bro this is made by ai
Honesty and clarity of communication is much more important than making someone feel good all the time
Yeah is that you tried making everyone feel better all the time? Then it fell apart before your progress was made? Good thing you found this gem of a communicator as she shows a better way. Good luck chum hope you figure out where you went wrong.
indeed
Agreed. Especially using such long sentences that unveil how hard you are trying and make you look fake in the end
"Yes, if ..." would be a better answer. You don't create an obstacle with a "but", you just set a criteria for the idea to be accepted.
If your only aim is to make the person happy by telling them what they want to hear then it's not collaboration and it's disingenuous.
Only through the clash of ideas can you have the sparks of truth. Note - not the clash of people. Depersonalize the ideas.
In a situation when you need the person to collaborate - leading them to open their mind to new possibilities (not necessarily agreeing) instead of dismissing their perspective can be more influential. You can (and should) absolutely be honest and clear.
All this stuff sounds great until you actually get into a workplace and realize that everyone is an idiot, and you decide its easier just to join them.
To much truth for one comment.
There is a book on communication which is called 'surrounded by idiots'
Comment of the decade as far as office communication goes...lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
You completely changed the answer from not accepting their suggestion to accepting it. It's better to be assertive than just agreeing with everything
You are wrong. When someone say something how can you instantly conclude about its true impact? A professional would try gather more facts about an argument before taking a decision. Decision is expensive, you can't deliver it like an instant coffee. Therefore encourage and applaud every bit of info when you hear it first. Think
@@gurindersingh8109 what if that opinion has already been tried just like the answer she gave herself in the video suggesting that it didn't work ....I agree with the "thinking" and making a decision part. But you need not think if the idea is repeated for a similar situation in the past where it didn't work.
@@utkarshaggarwal1631 yeah that's true but here she is more tallking about conversation skills that we are used a lot without any conscious thinking. You know like after every yes and but people don't like to hear rest of the things
Just say yes instead of no ,super simple. Everyone will like you.
You are so articulate. I am hooked on hearing you talk
This lady is exceptional in communication skills. Love her channel!!
This woman is a champion !
Imagine spending 3 months with her, gaining momentum and developing yourself, to position yourself as new CEO
😂😂😂😂😂
but true
Only your mind will change to be CEO not position actually, but you may become that soon, based on your current position if you continue the mindset.
new ceo in dream world😂😂😂
I feel the vibe from the book: Win friends and Influence People
Where were you 10 years ago... All these teaching are beneficial , God bless you kind heart 💓
Communication is the best way to understand people
As a manager, I can't use that term cause that would still be acceptance to a rejected idea darling.
metal rage - Then, maybe it could go like this: "And if we can fit that in, with some extra planning, and other ideas are not working, we probably could give it some serious thought!" 🤔😳
it doesnt matter, this is youtube fun
From negative to positive 💯
Super correct.
Constructive criticism fosters team spirit, collaboration which inturn increase performance and productivity
You are a true influencer .... Others are just entertainers ... Respect....👍🙏
"AND will it work just like last time? AND what have we learned from it?"
In my age and not shy from learning the wisdom of this young lady, great job and keep it up
I am excessively impressed by your delivery, the way you talk and all your mannerism is something that I admire a lot. Including all the little things you do, like you have a content smile while you talk, and all the hand gestures. Your face radiates positivity and your enthusiasm. That is something I'll like to add in my personality. And, your immense knowledge about the topic, its like icing on the cake.
I discovered that i do this unintentionally since last year since i started thinking positively about stuff and it really does work magic in perspective not just for people who are around u but for u as well
I clicked her video once, now I'm seeing suggestions from her all the time "and" I'm not regretting that. Such a nice change after all those almost naked girls from tick tock. Prove that besides having a good look you can also share something useful with people to be noticed 😘
This lady is brilliant. Thanks much for words of wisdom. Best wishes.
Nice! Dale Carnegie taught me this as well
Yes, this is what my friends have to see before talking to me.
We need more people like you on this planet earth...
with good fronts?
@@fabricciodominic7473 😂
Great tip! we all need more straight forward, more positive and less sugar-coating interactions in our lives!
Honestly, You just talk with my heart💖
Loved your communication skill✨
I mean it’s a fundamental improv technique. It could work in many scenarios as long as ‘the reasons it didn’t work last time’ are discussed and something changes (testing a new variable).
Shade I must say you really understand communication so well .. really inspiring ideas & modifications..
haha
That is very good way to exchange words
Loved it! perfect use of words
I find your videos to be very thorough and well versed. Your videos blend human pscychology and work place code very well.
Shade, you're the best. Love your input, always.
Thank you...just little tips like this can totally change the tone of delivery
Didn't Understood But Feels Good After Listening This😅
after she completed
me:- Oh..sorry, You're Saying Something
@@abhishek-5221 😆😆🤝
@@Scoobie.. 🤜
❤that's right
Doci Doci❤
I will do one better: prove their idea wrong with facts... IN FRONT OF EVERYONE 😂
I like the way you think
There is something called "team work"
I think you missed the intent of the tik tok. The point is to enlist engagement and collaboration not to shred and dehumanize people from participating in a team effort. I hope you can think about this for a while and discover the greater benefit to you of winning people over.
yeah but first try to become an influencer.
😂
loving these shorts🎉🎉🎉
Yes I agree, and make sure you are learning to make good videos that didn't work last time ❣️
As Ned stark once said, " everything before "but" is horse shit."
Your voice is soo soothing 😢
These very very small details are everything. The world would be a better place if people placed importance on choosing how to think and communicate for the betterment of others and themselves
Amazing Audio Output!
Yes your advice is so true and on point. Some times I fel it only me learning all the nice things from you, and others continue to invalidate me. Thank you Shade for your help thanks you again.👍👍🙏❤️
It just changes the whole response. So instead of saying “your idea is stupid” now I’m saying “we should proceed with your stupid idea”.some ideas are meant to be invalidated.
Yeah 🤔
That sounds even more passive aggressive lol
Depends on how one say it and yes it would come off that way if one has a mean streak.
Wow Shade, keep sharing it..
What an amazing piece of advice! Thank you!
Great vid! I use AND all the time! (well, maybe not ALL the time) but I do try! It totally opens up the conversation.
This is an excellent example of improving communication skills and, most importantly, how properly recorded sound can make a short video exciting. Good job!
I saw you and instantly felt connection ❤
Shes mesmerizing
definitely.
Yes..communication is key.😊
I believe in straight forward communication
that is genius! great. ya got a sub
But to and- negative to positive plus acknowledge their ideas. 👏
Thank you so much. This is very inspiring 💛🧡💚
Yes, keep it positive and optimistic to encourage stakeholders towards the problem solving.
Your advice is so awesome and on point.
Great words and guidelines to succeed.
So true it also puts you in team mode as mentioned validate the thought but build on it by substituting and. It's much better.
U R Awesome and M really appreciate ur suggestions
So nice of you. Thank you 😊
Your contents are literally transforming people ... Love and respect to you Ma'am from India
I am just watching your videos, just because of your facial expressions 😃
She is stunning, isn’t she?- _and_ she’s so well spoken.
Thank you so much for this tip
For some bizarre reason I like the way she talks not sure why but I can understand her more that other people.
Great insight, thank you!
Great advice ! 👍
Your way of taking is just amazing 😍
So working together we all win-win
Ur voice is very nice, so soothing..
It's better to tell upfront if something is going to work or not. I don't beat around the bush, and go straight to the point. I appreciate if others do the same to me. Feeling validated is a secondary issue.
Sometimes it's also smart to be tactical to influence. Acknowledging and opinion doesn't mean agreeing to the person's opinion or not being clear. We all prefer to do it our way but that's not always effective. Different tools for different situations.
I would be honest and say "Thanks for your suggestion, it shows your dedication. I believe my idea might align better with our objectives. Let's discuss further though"
With your voice that “And” will go along way.
My mentor used to use it all the time in the class. Even if your understanding is totally incorrect, he would start with " yes, that is right and " tell the correct answer. That makes you fell good.
You and your voice.......ohhhhh ❤️❤️❤️
the language we use is one of the easiest ways to create a positive change. even small changes like asking for "assistance" opposed to "help" can have a dramatic impact on the way we think and interact with others.
Great tip. I happen to me and many people I know !! Great tip for the communication
Really great!!!Thanks.
Thankyou 🙏
You’re welcome 😊
You are super simple. I like the way you put it.
@Shade Zahrai Thanks for sharing this information 👍👍👍
"However" is also another good one when trying to be persuasive. For example:
"Yes, that meatloaf sandwich looks delicious, however, Bill from accounting will be very angry if you eat his lunch."
What I enjoy about this is that it also mirrors that of improv where the one rule is “Yes, and”. Meaning Yes I acknowledge your idea AND I offer this. It’s that brick on brick thinking. I dig it and how it strengthens collaboration and creative ideas. 🎉
Thank you for the lesson
This is improv 101. “Yes! and…”
Most amazing voice tone I’ve heard!
Me : Nah, Last time it didn't work.
HR : Steve, for your kind information today is the first day of our company.
Instructions unclear,
I am now in HR being destroyed.
I love your voice 😍💕
I second that….
Thank you for sharing such useful content. You add so much value & make it look so easy at the same time. We need more Women Leaders Like Yourself. Such A Role Model. 👏👏👏
Hey, well said! 🎉
Remarkable content ❤
I love so much that idea ❤❤❤
clear cut advice 👍
This is amazing❤
Your knowledge is awesome🙏Thank you for this free knowledge you're passing on. I never learned this at school.
Positive attitude ❤helps more us you're right✔
Suggestion and ..."Think" to me seems like the key word that the response is free to respond with an opinion( suggestion) It's not a contractual agreement.
Yes, and you should totally go out with me.😎
Thanks! 💯