Why Men Feel FEAR After They Met The One
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2021
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You sound soo calm. Beautiful message....as always .....when I watch.....barely financially...affordable....BUT why a man never speak about this .........This is the first time , I hear about this topic. A man who speaks up..
They think you're "The One" for him because you're just his fantasy, however, he's NOT the right man for you because he's immature. A one sided relationship never last. He cannot have a good relationship to any women he likes unless he's healed and he's changed.
My dad met my stepmom kind of the old fashioned way hehe, they just celebrated 20 years of marriage. My dad was single for YEARS while he raised me and when I became a teen and went to live with my mom, he really wanted a relationship and put an ad into the dating section of the newspaper when he was in his early 50s and found his perfect other half. I think it’s such a cute way to meet, so rare ❤️
I hope they live happily ever after ❤️
Thats beautiful so happy for them👏🍾❤
So beautiful ♥️
You sound like a selfless, lovely daughter! He is lucky twice
that's sweet he got lucky
You can't make a mistake, with the right person.💗
🙏
The right person, when you make a mistake ( as we all do) will extend you grace & forgiveness. This is precisely what Jesus taught.
The thing is excitement and fear are in the same place of the brain. Therefore some people feel confused.
Some people go to a concert with fear and some people go to a concert with excitement.
I think a good technique is to visualize in mind what you are going to do. Visualization is a great technique for football players, pianists, athletes, etc.
It's like training your mind to do some actions.
If you're still interested in the price
Yes a person can
I am 51 years old how hard does it have to be ... WTF IS WRONG WITH TODAYS MEN ???????
Girl ! I’m 68 & struggling with dating - about to give up !
They are a fucked up mess !
Starts with ourselves
Loving ourselves first and slow down watch for tree flags
Respect!
Wrong upbringing, nutrition, life-habits, lost culture, values, spirituality and lack of manual work and movement outdoos. Toxicity from many man-made sources. goes for women too.
Gave up dating a long time ago and definitely not about to start again. It makes no sense to go on a bunch of dates just to be left with nothing. I’d rather be alone and enjoy life by myself and these men now days aren’t even worth the time, energy, nor effort.
When it is "real", the fear of "loss" is real.
The same way you lost your son, the danger of going through that pain again is real. That is completely understandable.
You are so right, Jonathan.
*The best time to love with your whole heart is always now, in this moment, because no breath beyond the current is promised.*
What annoys me the most is that I have the same fears yet I fight against them to make room for love, but the other person can't meet me half way and just decides to end things after everything seemed to be going well, he was the one pursuing me, etc., and I open myself up, show respect towards him, and suddenly "you deserve better... I'm not ready yet". 😢 This is not the first time something like this happens, and it is tiring. I'm as afraid as you are, I've been rejected probably more times than you have, I'm choosing you and bringing a lot to the table but all I ask from you isn't money or anything like that, but true commitment, true love and care, and we can work together everything else. It's frustrating, painful, exhausting, and it's not loving at all (even if the other person pretends they are being "heroic").
I needed to check of i didn't write this and forgot but it wasn't me ..are we living the same lives??
Yes!!!!!!!
Oh I hear you, I also thought I might have written this...
@@sterneprinzessinSame..
Same here. So disappointing.
Sometimes immature guys can become mature, they just need a little push...Once I was dating a guy who was acting weird at the beginning of the relationship (not calling, rarely texting) and I spoke my truth about us. I told him how we don't need to be together if he doesn't feel the way I do, there are plenty of people out there who may be perfect for us and we don't have to waste time...Than he said, no no, we will change that! And he did, we had a great relationship for 6 years
And I rememeber before we started dating we kissed on a party, afterwards I was expecting him to call me but he didn't. About 2weeks after that my friend's husband said that I have to contact him because he doesn't know where the two of us stand 🤣🤣🤣
sounds like something that almost happened to me. there was potential there
sounds like something that almost happened to me. there was potential there
sounds like something that almost happened to me. there was potential there
sounds like something that almost happened to me. there was potential there
sounds like something that almost happened to me. there was potential there
Life is hard to deal with, dating someone should be easier.
Yes, life can be hard...
Amen
Yes indeed. It all boils down to emotional immaturity.
No worries. . . 💗everything will fall into place because what's meant to be is meant to be.💗😁
🙏
Don’t believe this at all. Just my opinion though
Very refreshing to hear things from a man's point of view. It has sometimes felt like men have a secret pact not to let women know their innermost feelings. I'm noticing more & more men are integrating more with their emotional nature & expressing more. Is beautiful. Thanks for putting yourself out here & sharing your perspective🙏😊
We communicated well,
and both emotionally mature. Lot of passion and I could see us going somewhere. He was a “Have nots” but faithful we could build. My deal breaker, and this is a common one for us ladies was his inclination and habit for distracting self with porn, lust etc. Spirit has a way of revealing to me everything needed, so ultimately at the end, I had discovered by chance that he was sending sexually charged messages with a stranger. When I asked him, with sincere and calm curiosity if he felt any remorse or regret for his actions and he said no and says it felt innocent - that he was simply “bored” that day. Done. Over. Bye bye.
Still, it hurts. I loved him.
Thanks for sharing...
Yes i totally connect with this . women are more open to self healing its' sad that some men can hurt a really lovely , loving woman because they will not seek help . such a shame when its' us women who give our all and are just left with a broken heart.❤
I feel for you. It’s tough but it is really his loss. I feel for him too. His habit has become so deep rooted in him. Shame. It may have to take him loosing you to realize what it truly means to be with a real woman, and when I mean truly, I mean , he willing to get help to get rid of this habit in order to get back with you.
@@deepdiver849 That kind of habit/addiction is Very Hard to break. I do not think she should go back for any reason. He will keep at it, even after managing to find someone else. My ex husband was doing this as well, and somehow turned it around on me...It was My Fault. That's when I knew For Sure that it was OVER. He also had no remorse, no guilt. Barely an apology...It was more like...sorry you found out.
Did you find a way to ‘be’ his lust? All men use porn don’t they? Genuine question and not meant to offend x
I notice that he doesn't want me to leave when I visit him, but he just swallows those feelings. I asked him if I could stay on his couch and he said no. I am wondering if he thought I just wanted to stay in his couch to save money. I didn't want him to feel used. We're in love so everything is so sensitive. He's 43. I wasted too much thought in complainting to friends that I thought he wasn't interested in me. I shouldn't have listened to his words and should have listened to his body language because on Christmas day, he said he had wanted me to be his girlfriend and he said to me that I told everyone I wanted to marry him. I didn't. He's just too shy to ask me himself, so he made that up to get me to ask him to marry me. That's why his mother asked me why I haven't married him. He seems crazy, but it's just shiness.
Its kind of nauseating
You talk about him to friends. He talks about you with mom
What is difficult for you and him to talk. Anyway thats not a man of my dreams. My man is decisive, reliable and responsible. Not this amorphous couch substância
What would be wrong if you stayed on a couch? His couch would wear off?
The tragedy is that many men are never able to admit and address these fears.
Fear steals our joy when joy is critical to living a life of fulfillment. We all deserve love n joy. Fight through the fear n live your best life Reminder for myself
It's not fear, but if he's a good man, it's awe in the sense that she may be the one and his carefulness is mistaken for fear.
My fear is no longer that love will be taken away. But that it isn't reciprocated and I am just making it up in my head. I have loved and lost loved ones. But romantically its been one sided love.
Indeed
Me too!! Why can't they just be sincere??
Thank you Jonathan. I understand well, what you mean in being so vulnerable. I lost my husband to cancer 5 years ago. I needed to get myself in a better place first. It is worth it before finding that right person for me! I have found him after getting to my happy place and passions for myself after my loss. Love you all! Take heart, it is possible to find that love of your life, after getting to your best place, loving yourself first! ❤️🤗😘
After years of living with a man who "loved" me so much he resented how much "power" I had over him, and showed me how on several life threating occasions........never any man ever again!
You don't need to love men. Respecting them is e ough. I TOTALLY GET you though.
Thank you for dispelling the gender BS, we're all human! We all have emotions and handle them differently!
Love this video!! Love them all!! You are such a great help!! I love and appreciate your realness and honesty🎁
Hi Jonathon, Thank you so much for sharing your videos. It’s so helpful to hear different points of view. Understanding = love and compassion!
Thank you so much Jonathon. I always enjoy your take, spin & wisdom 🙌
Thank you. This is helpful. Also, so sorry you suffered that financial loss a decade ago. That's a hard blow to one's life. You didn't give up revealing true inner wealth of strength.
Yes, Jonathon! U hit the nail on the head 🔨 You have such a fascinating way of explaining & breaking down concepts that most individuals are not able to comprehend or notice on their own. 🤗👍💯
Great, honest, and direct. One of your best videos.
I’m so sorry for the lost of your son. I can’t imagine your pain. ❤
That was really great information given concisely. I got a lot out of it. Thanks!
I totally enjoyed this video, gained so much insight. great to see you calm and more collect. looking good, great job 💕💕
This was fantastic information. So clearly communicated. It provided much needed answers to many of my questions. The timing of this video for me was also perfect. Whatever the algorithm is, CZcams did a great job making it appear on my feed. I also want to say thank you for sharing such personal information and sorry about your loss. I appreciate your effort you put into these messages. 😊
Great video Jonathon. Love the T-shirt and coffee mug and the setting. I have been going through some really difficult things and haven't always been the best company recently, but my lovely man has stuck with me. I know he is doing his best to support me. He is emotionally mature and 'a keeper'. Thank you 💖 from Australia xx
So good to hear from you as always. Liked the mug and the message and also the T shirt but when I got to know about your son I couldn't stop my tears as I just couldn't imagine just by getting to know I felt this and what you might have gone through. I too have an 18 yr old son who is going to be 19 soon my only child. My whole world revolves around him. Just to be around him as his Dad is away on job in a different country I have left my job and my teaching career. I don't know how I would have dealt with it. Thanks so much for d vdos. We get to learn a lot and see things from different perspectives. Ya men and women should be considered equal rather than tagging them in genders and we all are individuals and can feel things differently right..Much love and a virtual hug to you for more power🤗😊🙏
I agree with you. I lost a son at seventeen. I guess I have a sense of abandonment, and I also have a feeling of it was his time and I was so blessed to have spent the time I did with him. Sending love to you and I am very impressed with your thoughts on emotional immaturity. What a wonderful way to size people up. I believe they don’t think they can change because they are in a very uncomfortable comfort zone. And scared to death to confront their fears.
This is another excellent video. Everything here is very helpful and provides a lot fir us to think about.
Yes Dating is something most people would avoid if they think about how painfully it can play out.
Thank you so much for your insightful thoughts about relationships and how to rebuild healthy love. You are amazing! I needed to hear this! God bless!
One of your best, J. So tough to navigate the dating landscape these days.
It’s so true being afraid to speak your truth. Certainly I have that fear often but one must do this kindly
I just soak up everything you say. There is so much wisdom with experience. I lost my oldest daughter when she was 28. It was in 2014 and i have not been able to mourn like most people do. I used denial like a pacifier. It worked a little until i couldnt fight it. Since she had lived across the country i just pretended she was there. I knew and know its unhealthy but i couldnt handle the truth. Anyway i am so far from being ok.
You give me hope i dont have to just wait to die. I might have love someday .
Thank you and God bless you. ❤
Am I the only 23 year old whose been learning from Jonathan’s content? I’ve been through it all, though. I am an ancient and well-experienced soul. I am the farthest thing from a blank slate, I’ve endured and overcome all types abuse, neglect, manipulation, abandonment, and mistreatment.
I am so sorry you have been through so much in this life. You are not alone.
@@snoopyfan20 thank you! And I’m sorry for you as well.
You've come to the right place, then, for sure. Wishing you happiness, fulfillment, and a lifetimes
of love. ❤️
@@ohdear2275 thank you 🙏
We were both terrified lol still have the fear factor from time to time , over a year and very slow dating process as we both understand we have past issues still healing from ... It's hard d but it's worth it as now just turning 50 it's a relief to know someone else gets it ... I'm so happy we found each other and have opened up to the word love 💓 btw not living together and keeping our financial matters seperate so as to not losing the independence factor helps so much
Opening our 💗 to love does risk fear. It's natural to doubt one's intuition after a few non-starters.
This video confirms my idea that the 'more right it feels, the more careful I should be'.
As Esther Perel says 'desire needs space', so feeling sure about someone needs time to process as well.
Whilst I've changed incredibly with inner work, when the rubber meets the road I'll truly see my relationship skills in action.
It's a miracle that I came across your video. I've currently found myself in this situation and didn't clearly understand why I feel half in and half out. Your explanation has hit the nail on the head though. Thank you sir.
I enjoyed what you’ve said here. I’m sorry for the loss of your son. I see and feel your tears. I lost my brother in February, unexpectedly. We were very close, I can’t seem to move forward. Because of the tears and grief. I dated briefly but don’t seem successful. I hold back, I feel the rug will be pulled out from underneath me. I’m afraid my heart can’t take much more.
I mean this genuinely Jonathon, you are so fucking handsome 😻😻😻 your heart, spirit and soul are just as beautiful and whoever you choose to be your partner/lifemate is going to be a lucky woman!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
WOW, thank you 😊
Yes he is!!!
Yes he is handsome
Jonathon follow your own advice. You always introduce good arguments. Thank you
I totally understand , i too lost my youngest son. Im' aware that i might be trying to fill the void that my wonderful child has left . Getting close can make you needy and in the end you are just hurting more ❤
🙏🙏🙏
aw now I know why he pulled out blaming pandemic, it’s a 6 yrs relationship that’s why it’s kinda hard for me that cause anxiety ,hard pill to swallow but then , after listening to you several times I’m now getting back on track, I’ll move on and life must go on without him . Thank you so much for helping me realized this 🥰
Great video today, Jonathon. It is really meaningful to me. I have run up against the "I'm afraid to make a mistake/I can't afford to make any more mistakes" situation with a guy during the development of what feels like a serious relationship. I have even pointed out to them I already HAVE or have already gotten over all that material stuff they are so worried they cannot bring to me, which in both case made no difference at all as far as I could tell. So, I listened VERY CAREFULLY to your valuable POV. I think both sexes need to be coming from authenticity 100%, 100% of the time, as this is a dicey situation. I found it helpful you emphasized women (and in my opinion, men, too) should speak their truth and do so with kindness. I love that. That approach is so healing and hopeful as both sides sensitively wade through the analysis process. Just wanted to thank you! I appreciate your work very much.
Never ever get over that "material stuff".ever!!! Ever!!
Yes. Every time my words hint at true feelings, I have to be prepared to go about a week without much communication... From my p.o.v. I fall back to the thought, "you must have really been in love when you were married to allow that experience to have such a profound impact on the present." I am aware that I may be rationalizing my frustrations so I am patient. This video helped me see things in a more compassionate light, thank you Jonathon. Love how you put your heart into your work
WOW! Thanks
💔🥀-->💓🌹🥰
@@colleenc4621 I really resonated with your comment❤️
Thank you 💖 Love the Tshirt and the meaning behind it.
I feel your pain! I also lost a son. What you're feeling is a very real heartache. Much love and hugs to you, Jonathon!
🙏
Definitely true! I can feel him is working on himself. He is moving forward with me. I can tell he wants this. I still can feel his anxious energy and I don’t know why. Other than it, our relationship has been great. Just taking our time.
This video is very touching, Johnathan! Thank you 😊!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks Jonathon! You are not alone. We all fear making mistakes. The last two gentlemen that I dated both just disappeared. Both men have been divorced. One of them has been divorced twice. I’ve never been married and do not have any children. And you are right! I have trouble voicing my wants because I fear appearing too needy or desperate.
This is so informative. Thank you Jonathan 😊
I think it's horrible to see yourself starting over ..for men and women .
Bringing to the table is a big thing for men as provider and protector .
The men that don't "have" still can ease their way of finding love by nurturing a spiritual connection with themselves and looking at a potential partner in the same essence .
And we all know at mid life ..that true love starts with us and reflects from a true partner with genuine intentions .❤
Yes, it is hard...
Ok. Let's stop this men thing. People are people. We all feel fear. He ghosts move on.
A beautiful heartfelt video today Jonathon I love and appreciate this and we can all learn from it. I pushed the same lovely guy away three times and now realise it was due to fear of perceived pending eventual loss. It was a beautiful relationship and I know what you mean by ‘real’. It was the most real relationship I’ve had and the fear was one I’d never experienced before. Now we are apart which has been heartbreaking for me but I have been working through your book list and recently listened to your own self love book and am concentrating on that. I did think I was a whole person but know that if I had that much anxiety then I have work to do. Thank you 🙏
🙏
Consistently some of the realest relationship advice out here. Thank you! ❤
You're so welcome!
God bless you Sir! Thanks for sharing!
You taught me so much in this video Jonathan. Like the relationship iceberg. So insightful. I'm truly grateful! I'm a 50 year old woman, divorced and still single now 8 years later. I'm in therapy. I realise I'm emotionally as well as financially unstable. I have to work on this first. Sooner I will not be able to have a healthy relationship I don't think. 🙏❤
Good morning Jonathon , everything you said is true . You are amazing 😉 Thank you for this awesome video and Have a Great Sunday . Best regards from Milan , Italy 🇮🇹. Sending hugs 🤗 😘
Thank you! You too!
“What would love do, and how would love respond?”.. lightbulb moment, thank you!! 🙏🏻
You're so welcome!
The capacity you have to love means that when you grieve, it will hurt. Remember, we have moments in life, hold onto them and keep going. Your heart is big and it’s worth sharing. God bless you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
I love this video and it is very true for women as well. When I really fall for a man, I tend to withdrawal because of fear of being hurt.
So much on point!!! Really hit home!!!
Another great video, Jonathan! Thank you.
This video is an absolutely, fabulously well said and extremely helpful way to express what happens when men are emotionally mature or not. Does that makes sense? Thank you for your time and effort!
Thank you Jonathan Aslay. I always watch your videos and even bought your self-love book. There's only 2 relationship coaches I literally follow, it's yourself and Matthew Hussey. Both have different flavours to deliver and very insightful. I follow both of them because sometimes it's not about because I have a relationship issue, it's the KNOWLEDGE AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE they project and it just helps me become emotionally more mature and I can incorporate it in my daily life plus improve my relationships not just with my partner but with everyone. That's why I thank Jonathan and Mathew - they are my golden relationship coaches! sending loves
WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you share this video with friends?
I love your insight and guidance ! Thanks sincerely for sharing to the over 40 ages people who want healthy relationships ! God Bless! 😁
Thank you, Jonathan, for not yelling or cursing
I just love listening to your talks. They make sooo much sense. You are able to articulate what i have taken 30-40 yrs to work out, i could never fully explain the thougts and feelings about relationships, that i was going through . Now im much older and have it together, know what i want, where im hoing and how im getting there. I feel too worn out and i dont want a relationship atm. Wish you coild vome to OZ
Your messages have been popping up randomly for me like a sign from the Universe.
I’m dating someone who’s 46, I’m 29.
Our connection has been so intense since the very first day we met and has only intensified over the months. I just know he’s the one.
He’s been emotionally immature , in and out , ghosting e.t.c.
But there’s times when he’s tried to indirectly explain to me why he does these things and I overlooked it and didn’t really grasp what he would say.
But the more information I obtain in this matter the more understanding of him I am.
Thank you , this was just a little confirmation for me. 🙏🏾
Happy to hear...
in 16 minutes you explained it well. I noticed some young couples have this type of relationship of balance. They probably have the same hobbies, values a sense of humor.
Probably the big part of it is empathy.
Thanks Jonanthan, I have been listening to you recently… in fact I discovered you recently!
Just want to give you a compliment
....I notice your hands while demonstrating the iceberg sketch..👌 and thanks for sharing this powerful information.
I liked this man a former NFL player and I a former Cheerleader we connected. Christmas Eve he left. Heart broken.
Thank you for your videos Jonathon! You have helped me realize that I also have an avoidant attachment style and I get in relationships with men who are the same because they avoid talking about feelings and we never move forward. Eventually the relationship fizzles out or ends because of life events. I'm tired of being in relationship limbo!
You are so welcome!
I like you, you have such a great energy. Thanks Jonathon
Always expert advice Johnathan!!
Awesome vid thank you Jonathan ❤️
Very helpful insight and information. Thx!
Glad it was helpful!
I really feel you brother. Your brave and deep. I lost two members of my immediate family in 2020. I said to someone today, I can't weep forever 🙏 the beloveds are always with us in joy. Love and strength to you.
Sorry to hear that... sending light and love your way.
Thank you Jonathan it makes sense.
Mags in Scotland.🌷🌷🌷
Yes I do love your shirt Jonathon!!! #staysalty #onelove
That fear is real that no one can have that maturity to put their emotions on the table... I lost my teenager son too unexpectedly in the mist of all of it. I agree with what you are saying.
Hi Jonathan, thanks for the video and yes I do like the tshirt and the mug, most of all I appreciate you sharing so I take the time to listen and learn. Appreciate you Jonathan 🙏😊👍💯❤
🙏
Thank you so much for all what you share! I can't say enough how it's valuable to me!!!!
So sorry for your dearest Son 💓.... I LOVE your t-shirt and especially because it's your son's nick name 💖 One day we'll all meet!!!!!! There is no doubts!!!
Very triggering video. I've just come out of a very intense relationship where he decided out of the blue that he couldn't accept me and my authentic self, despite already knowing my beliefs. I'm still reeling. So it's impossible to predict and despite all the well-meaning advice on being your most authentic self.....the truth is that you still may end up watching someone you really care about walk away when you are vulnerable and have an honest conversation. Oh well. For the best, I suppose. I guess that the bottom line is that it's better to know as early as possible in a relationship that you are not compatible.
Yes. And it's important to remember that you didn't make a mistake for being authentic. In fact, this is a perfect opportunity to dig/dive deeper into yourself. 💓
I think the best way to go is not get romantic early on. Establish a friendship first...and ask God for guidance.
After over 9 years my guy flipped a switch. Total 180 out of nowhere. It's like a stranger is in my house. The agony of it. Never expected this.
People are human & therefore, vulnerable & prone to err. Big time! The Bible says we must, we must trust in the Lord God. He never flips on us. Man will fail us. God never does. Never. Turn to Christ. Best decision you will ever make & I speak from experience. Amen.
As long as you accept yourself no one else matters. It's tough when someone walks away but if you truely love yourself then you know you'll be alright. That's what I learned at least when the person I love (and yes still love and appreciate) walked away.
Never be afraid of losing someone or something else because you'll always have yourself.
Many prayers and blessings to you.
Wowwww!! A really great video John!! ❤
Glad you liked it!!
I lost my grandfather when I was 13 years old. He was the major person who raised me. I can relate to feeling abandoned. We know it's not intentionally that they left us.. So it took me a long time to recognize to process this.
I really appreciate this video!
So sorry for your loss.
You are always on point.
Thkyou
I am so sorry you lose you son. God bless. ❤ Thank you for the advice.
Very helpful, thankyou. T-shirt is cute!
Hi Jonathon 🙋♀️Thank you 🌹I enjoyed your calmer style, this morning. Your wisdom & support are so appreciated ❣️
You are so welcome
I did toooo!! Big smiling!! From: Milwaukee, Wisconsin on 8-22
Agree.. .. .. please see my comment. Thanks Jonathon.
Same, I went to turn it down because it often has so much yelling lol, but then I had to turn it up because he started so mellow 😄
Yes. Agreed!
Thank you so so much Jonathon