There are a group of personality disorders that tend to overlap but the narcissist really feel entitled. They have an idealized feeling of worth. It's not the same as vanity.
The children who have been told by their parents that they have grandiose futures. My ex narc was told that he was his father's "project". He was the golden child.
Well I think it can come from both ends of the spectrum. Those who did not have much growing up or treated poorly think they deserve the world and think thats how you get ahead, step on people because they were stepped on. I know this from experience from a so called friend. And boy do they know how to make you feel bad for them, a form of manipulation.
Well shit. This hit me pretty hard. I don't know. It's terrible to not have parents. One parent who is constantly working and the other who never shows up. It sucks. I never had a childhood. I'm an adult who is afraid to trust. I mean, I would never ask for it to happen to anyone else. Just. It sucks.
Riss Hill understand 140 percent ..sigh Godbless please hang in there too ..you know its sad but good to know...that not only one to trust..please take care ...
is it about trusting others or is more about not wanting to feel let down as it bring up old feelings. The truth is we all let down someone at different points. Maybe we didn't call at the right time or appeared distracted when we were available. It doesnt make the person a right off it just means at that moment their priority is higher than yours in that moment. What really matters is when it really matters is there someone you can call on?!?!
I learned how malignant narcissists can be. Mine took me in after my grandma died, threw my grandpa into a nursing home, threw out all my childhood items while renovating our house so she could move into it with me. Then, she continued to neglect me in many different ways. She became my father's POA and executrix of his will and then stole every penny of my inheritance. I've seen the dark side of humanity without even needing to encounter a psychopath.
My father is a narcissist - text book - he took 23 years of life from me and when I left he was angry but then he moved on to another source for supply. I love him as a daughter, always will - but I am no contact with him for the rest of my life as far as I can see because he already took enough of my life away :(
This is what my daughter is dealing with and she’s not healing she’s worse and it’s hard to know what her dad did to us and we didn’t know, worse I didn’t see it soon enough to save her all this pain. She’s having disassociation issues and we both have CPTSD and I can’t imagine what it was like for her when our lives were chaos. Any advice to pass on to my adult child? I try to not invade her privacy and let her talk when she wants, if not she shuts down and it’s worse. I give her the space yet I can’t do this for her and I can only give her support and love.
I think Dr Orchberg's voice is already a great therapy. It sounds to me so reassuring and soothing. I come back to hear it again and again, just for the comfort of listening to someone good.
Street Puffters! You clearly dont understand what psychopathy is because while they may have similarities they are not the same. Hepatitus and the common flu share alot of symptoms, please tell me all about how they are the same thing.
Urdnot Grunt they often exploit others and exploit the horribly Psychopaths have the same behaviour--so just looking at their actions not how they " think and feel " they're the same it seems to me.
Spend 15 minutes researching the differences between the two and you will understand that they are not the same. Dont just make assumptions that two things are the same because they share a few similarities, because of people doing this there is alot of misunderstanding about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. For example, it is possible to be both a narcissist and a psychopath.
Narcissistic parents abuse/neglect a child once they realize that the child is a focus of attention/draws attention away from them.Woe betide anything or anyone that competes with a narcissist for the spotlight.
I agree. People with personality disorders, genetic predispositions to terrible illnesses, or severe psychiatric problems should not be allowed to reproduce. It is for society's own good, and has only one downside: the (narcissistic) angst of people unfit to raise children, the people who do not care how much they add to their children's problems, and the world's.
So true what Dr. Ochberg says about narcs not necessarily being beautiful! The narcs I know aren't beautiful at all and the compensation is so obvious. Who knows if there are any statistics about this fact.
He should say, "especially their children", not "even their children". Children are only the extension of a narcissists or their worst enemy and competition for the attention of the other parent which they claim for themselves. A child with one narcissistic parent only has the attention of one half of one sane parent, even if they have two around them.
Thank you for making this video. I just left a narcissist who was also bipolar. We were together 3 years before I realized I couldn't make the situation any better. I wrote a song about the experience- link here- don't remember me It helped to heal me. maybe it will do the same for others :)
I feel safe whenever I hear this man talk about something that I am severely effected by. My brother is a narcissist and a absolute horror to live with! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one suffering.. it’s very lonely to go through something like this without the support of my family who dotes on my brother even though he does terrible things. Thank you for this video
I think my dad and sister are possibly narcissists. My dad was a good provider growing up. He did the best he could with that, but he was distant from us (me and sister). There was no emotional connection at all. He didn't build us up (saying he's proud or give validation in any other way). He dodnt really even know us. All he was really was a dictator. At times I felt uncomfortable, as if I were with a stranger or something. In his eyes,, he was there every step of the way and was dad of the year though.
seem like my dad( not really but my great uncle) grew up. Very distant, cold, if u ask money, he will give, or fix things, very conflict avoidant-also, an alcoholic. He quit almost 20 ,30 years ago
Your heart is your controller. Your love can be used against you by the narcissist. My father controlled us all. Money, chores, grounding. When you run away they bring you back so then the cops are in control. Most schools control your brain, liberty and your very future. But it’s a good education for the real world. Narcissistic are our future and Social Media is making it explode (who controls those?)
For every Isaac Newton or Temple Grandin there are hundreds or thousands of [my ex-boyfriend's name here] and the destruction they leave in their wake is not justifiable. Luckily he has had a vasectomy, but not before impregnating one girl when he was very young. She took that child and ran.
Their goal was to isolate, humiliate, exploit and terrorize as much as they humanly could-without there being a means to scream. Mainly my dad; mom went right along with it. There are some sick people who use their money and power to mask the most fucked up shit.
So very sad, I recognize performing dysfunctional friends with narcissistic parents, my mother had many of the traits, I, in fact, will admit I have some of them. Thank god not the selfish traits so my daughter is well adjusted but a "rescuer."
Just listening to Dr Ochberg and knowing that he totally understands the complete and utter destruction these narcissistic people cause and how it's difficult to overcome those emotional injuries is great medicine in itself
perfect example of our father. never admits when wrong and only chooses to degrade my brother and i...or his ex wife while laughing and bragging how he took my brother from her.
The last words were so beautiful and everyone should hear that. Also, love hearing your voice its so warm. do you have like hour long recordings or videos I can listen to while i sleep?
im a form of a narcissisic phycopath like i said a form i am conceded with my looks but i also just dont care wat people say about me or to me i react to things or ideas without thinking about consequences and i have had a great childhood my parents were very kind and reosoureing to me as a child
I think the word is "Elitist". And I'm the same way. A "marriage license" should actually be a functioning license. You have to pass tests in communication and empathy first. And there should also be a "parenting license". Same deal, only more intense. Abso-friggin'-lutely.
Parents are so obsessed with employment status, I can't talk with them about anything else. I have no official job, therefore I am not entitled to an opinion. My basic needs don't matter.
My daughter when she was 15 broke my nose when she slammed a phone in my face..she ran away, then she told everyone I beat her..she is 30 and she still tells these stories to others..I have people who hate me due to her lies..She plays my Grandchildren against me..I feel bad for them but what does one do?
some kids turning into adults could be rebel, and have good parents. Each their own and how they think and feel. some people have bad childhood but don't become a psychopath
(continued #2) Why stop as narcissists and psychopaths? And where does it stop? Would it lead to a situation where people would have to tow the line or else the government would deny them the right to have children (people love having children, in general)? But anyway, what about the effect of poverty? What about the effects of alcoholism? What about people who are so worn down from work, and other such things, that they cannot function as parents? What about people being critical uneducated?
Yeah that's totalitarian. Who decides what is required to pass the 'psychiatric evaluation'? Just another opportunity to abuse power. Yes, and one of my parents is a psychopath.
(Continued) Of course, such control would naturally lead to other forms of control. Power tends to expand itself. Also you'd be opening the door to political dissidents being unable to breed and such. It's like the USSR and China imprisoning dissidents as psychiatric patients. After all, psychiatry is a value-based discipline (what constitutes mental illness or unfitness? Defiance of authority perhaps?). Also, it doesn't address the socio-economic aspect. What is a bad parent?
'the metrics work well.' - Work well according to what? And even if we assume they 'work well', does that not prove that the structure of the institution (talking of police here) is more important than the psychological vetting that occurs? I.e. structures of power entail abuse of power, regardless of who wields it (see Milgram experiments some insight). What you're suggesting is that the state have the power to control who does and does not have children. What would the criteria even be?
'"good character" refers to the qualities employers look for when they perform background checks on potential hires.' - Is this meant to clarify your position? This couldn't be more vague. Basically you're saying 'whatever the investigators, or the legislators, feel like', which is what I said. What you're suggesting is a totalitarian process of the highest order. Why do you trust the government so much? Why is your first recourse to involve the state, and not to consider other solutions?
When I was mentally ill, I thought I was writing great stuff, but it was crap. Only when I have been mentally healthy have I ever been able to produce good work. I know people with mental illnesses that are now under control, and they all say the same thing. Clearly, you're ignorant about the relationship between mental illness and true genius. These two things work in opposition to each other, even though they occasionally manage to coexist.
'Psychological stability' - does this have a precise definition? Who creates the definition? You do realise that women were put away for being 'hysterical' right? What stops political dissidents or other enemies of the state being labelled 'psychologically unstable'? Again, 'good character'? 'Good' in the eyes of whom? 'Aberrant violence or extreme criminal conduct' - I thought you said it was to winnow out narcissists and psychopaths? Most of these people don't commit crimes. So ...
Wrong, the comment about them being known by others as a narc, not true, mostly they mask their image to those outside their immediate family circle and only Show Narcism toward rods their family
it is also spoilt children and the over appraised that turn out narsisstic, not just those neglected I find.
YES!!!! mind blowing
Even more so.
The children who have been told by their parents that they have grandiose futures. My ex narc was told that he was his father's "project". He was the golden child.
Well I think it can come from both ends of the spectrum. Those who did not have much growing up or treated poorly think they deserve the world and think thats how you get ahead, step on people because they were stepped on.
I know this from experience from a so called friend. And boy do they know how to make you feel bad for them, a form of manipulation.
Well shit. This hit me pretty hard. I don't know. It's terrible to not have parents. One parent who is constantly working and the other who never shows up. It sucks. I never had a childhood. I'm an adult who is afraid to trust. I mean, I would never ask for it to happen to anyone else. Just. It sucks.
I know how you feel.
Trust is weakness
Im there with ya!
Riss Hill understand 140 percent ..sigh Godbless please hang in there too ..you know its sad but good to know...that not only one to trust..please take care ...
is it about trusting others or is more about not wanting to feel let down as it bring up old feelings. The truth is we all let down someone at different points. Maybe we didn't call at the right time or appeared distracted when we were available. It doesnt make the person a right off it just means at that moment their priority is higher than yours in that moment. What really matters is when it really matters is there someone you can call on?!?!
i agree,i also think that once someone loses a child to neglect or abuse they should be prevented from having any other children.
I learned how malignant narcissists can be. Mine took me in after my grandma died, threw my grandpa into a nursing home, threw out all my childhood items while renovating our house so she could move into it with me. Then, she continued to neglect me in many different ways. She became my father's POA and executrix of his will and then stole every penny of my inheritance. I've seen the dark side of humanity without even needing to encounter a psychopath.
My father is a narcissist - text book - he took 23 years of life from me and when I left he was angry but then he moved on to another source for supply. I love him as a daughter, always will - but I am no contact with him for the rest of my life as far as I can see because he already took enough of my life away :(
I had to do the same thing with my father AND mother. wow
This is me with my mother.
This is what my daughter is dealing with and she’s not healing she’s worse and it’s hard to know what her dad did to us and we didn’t know, worse I didn’t see it soon enough to save her all this pain. She’s having disassociation issues and we both have CPTSD and I can’t imagine what it was like for her when our lives were chaos. Any advice to pass on to my adult child? I try to not invade her privacy and let her talk when she wants, if not she shuts down and it’s worse. I give her the space yet I can’t do this for her and I can only give her support and love.
you don't owe anyone shit
Give her space, and nurture and care for yourself!
Really like this dude. I think he knows what he is talking about. Thanks.
I wanted to write a similar comment - he seems like an extremely nice and person
The message is too write off the disordered individual & save your own sanity
I think Dr Orchberg's voice is already a great therapy. It sounds to me so reassuring and soothing. I come back to hear it again and again, just for the comfort of listening to someone good.
Completely agree.
I was just thinking exactly that and as soon as I read the comments yours came up first! LOL. It really is such a lovely calming voice isn't it?
Projection?
He has such a gentle voice
I get the impression that " Narcissitic Personality Disorder " or whatever it's called is really Psychopathy.
Street Puffters! You clearly dont understand what psychopathy is because while they may have similarities they are not the same.
Hepatitus and the common flu share alot of symptoms, please tell me all about how they are the same thing.
Urdnot Grunt they often exploit others and exploit the horribly Psychopaths have the same behaviour--so just looking at their actions not how they " think and feel " they're the same it seems to me.
Spend 15 minutes researching the differences between the two and you will understand that they are not the same.
Dont just make assumptions that two things are the same because they share a few similarities, because of people doing this there is alot of misunderstanding about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists.
For example, it is possible to be both a narcissist and a psychopath.
There is overlap. There is also overlap with ASPD.
ASPD/psychopathy is narcissism at its most extreme. Period. Any psychopath trying to convince you they aren't narcissists are being themselves: liars.
This gentleman has a very calming voice.
Narcissistic parents abuse/neglect a child once they realize that the child is a focus of attention/draws attention away from them.Woe betide anything or anyone that competes with a narcissist for the spotlight.
You are right about what a child needs in order to be confident and enjoyable as an adult.
I agree. People with personality disorders, genetic predispositions to terrible illnesses, or severe psychiatric problems should not be allowed to reproduce. It is for society's own good, and has only one downside: the (narcissistic) angst of people unfit to raise children, the people who do not care how much they add to their children's problems, and the world's.
So true what Dr. Ochberg says about narcs not necessarily being beautiful! The narcs I know aren't beautiful at all and the compensation is so obvious. Who knows if there are any statistics about this fact.
It feels awesome to hear you say I overcame a tough obstacle. Thank you.
He should say, "especially their children", not "even their children". Children are only the extension of a narcissists or their worst enemy and competition for the attention of the other parent which they claim for themselves. A child with one narcissistic parent only has the attention of one half of one sane parent, even if they have two around them.
I like this guy. Wish he had said more.
Thank you for making this video. I just left a narcissist who was also bipolar. We were together 3 years before I realized I couldn't make the situation any better. I wrote a song about the experience- link here- don't remember me It helped to heal me. maybe it will do the same for others :)
Really appreciate your support and help
I couldn't agree with you more!
I agree completely !!!
I posted about it on my facebook some time ago, and i'd have to say most people in my social circle agreed.
I feel safe whenever I hear this man talk about something that I am severely effected by. My brother is a narcissist and a absolute horror to live with! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one suffering.. it’s very lonely to go through something like this without the support of my family who dotes on my brother even though he does terrible things. Thank you for this video
What a beautiful, truthful description.
I went through hell, my daughter did too. Yet I feel sorry for her but there is nothing we can do for her. Such painful experience. Wish it on no one.
What a great guy. :D
I think my dad and sister are possibly narcissists. My dad was a good provider growing up. He did the best he could with that, but he was distant from us (me and sister). There was no emotional connection at all. He didn't build us up (saying he's proud or give validation in any other way). He dodnt really even know us. All he was really was a dictator. At times I felt uncomfortable, as if I were with a stranger or something.
In his eyes,, he was there every step of the way and was dad of the year though.
seem like my dad( not really but my great uncle) grew up. Very distant, cold, if u ask money, he will give, or fix things, very conflict avoidant-also, an alcoholic. He quit almost 20 ,30 years ago
Control is always an illusion.
Not to a spider sitting in its web.
Your heart is your controller. Your love can be used against you by the narcissist. My father controlled us all. Money, chores, grounding. When you run away they bring you back so then the cops are in control. Most schools control your brain, liberty and your very future. But it’s a good education for the real world. Narcissistic are our future and Social Media is making it explode (who controls those?)
For every Isaac Newton or Temple Grandin there are hundreds or thousands of [my ex-boyfriend's name here] and the destruction they leave in their wake is not justifiable.
Luckily he has had a vasectomy, but not before impregnating one girl when he was very young. She took that child and ran.
A narcissit and a horder together what happens.
3:20 makes a lot of sense!
Their goal was to isolate, humiliate, exploit and terrorize as much as they humanly could-without there being a means to scream. Mainly my dad; mom went right along with it. There are some sick people who use their money and power to mask the most fucked up shit.
So very sad, I recognize performing dysfunctional friends with narcissistic parents, my mother had many of the traits, I, in fact, will admit I have some of them. Thank god not the selfish traits so my daughter is well adjusted but a "rescuer."
Just listening to Dr Ochberg and knowing that he totally understands the complete and utter destruction these narcissistic people cause and how it's difficult to overcome those emotional injuries is great medicine in itself
perfect example of our father. never admits when wrong and only chooses to degrade my brother and i...or his ex wife while laughing and bragging how he took my brother from her.
The last words were so beautiful and everyone should hear that. Also, love hearing your voice its so warm. do you have like hour long recordings or videos I can listen to while i sleep?
im a form of a narcissisic phycopath like i said a form i am conceded with my looks but i also just dont care wat people say about me or to me i react to things or ideas without thinking about consequences and i have had a great childhood my parents were very kind and reosoureing to me as a child
Very strange
Something went wrong somewhere
Great video! Thanks for the information. 😂
I think the word is "Elitist". And I'm the same way.
A "marriage license" should actually be a functioning license. You have to pass tests in communication and empathy first.
And there should also be a "parenting license". Same deal, only more intense.
Abso-friggin'-lutely.
Parents are so obsessed with employment status, I can't talk with them about anything else. I have no official job, therefore I am not entitled to an opinion. My basic needs don't matter.
My daughter when she was 15 broke my nose when she slammed a phone in my face..she ran away, then she told everyone I beat her..she is 30 and she still tells these stories to others..I have people who hate me due to her lies..She plays my Grandchildren against me..I feel bad for them but what does one do?
Get a surrogate daughter. Let that one go.
Mine cant turn the Grandchild against me because she treats the child so badly too
@@BridiesMammaG
When you have nothing to compare it to, as in the case with mine, that's all you know?
some kids turning into adults could be rebel, and have good parents. Each their own and how they think and feel.
some people have bad childhood but don't become a psychopath
Same goes for Aspergians. Sorry, folks. The ones who get good treatment might be different. But the ones who don't.....
No way.
What do you mean? Can you explain more about the aspies?
(continued #2) Why stop as narcissists and psychopaths? And where does it stop? Would it lead to a situation where people would have to tow the line or else the government would deny them the right to have children (people love having children, in general)?
But anyway, what about the effect of poverty? What about the effects of alcoholism? What about people who are so worn down from work, and other such things, that they cannot function as parents? What about people being critical uneducated?
Wish u could.do a longer video of nacissitic parents pplz.
Why do you think Vaknin is a waste of space? Very curious of your opinion. Please inform
Can anyone explain their story as to how they left their Narcissistic parent/s?? I'm trying to do that now and idk where to start!
Yeah that's totalitarian. Who decides what is required to pass the 'psychiatric evaluation'? Just another opportunity to abuse power. Yes, and one of my parents is a psychopath.
(Continued) Of course, such control would naturally lead to other forms of control. Power tends to expand itself. Also you'd be opening the door to political dissidents being unable to breed and such. It's like the USSR and China imprisoning dissidents as psychiatric patients. After all, psychiatry is a value-based discipline (what constitutes mental illness or unfitness? Defiance of authority perhaps?).
Also, it doesn't address the socio-economic aspect. What is a bad parent?
'the metrics work well.' - Work well according to what? And even if we assume they 'work well', does that not prove that the structure of the institution (talking of police here) is more important than the psychological vetting that occurs? I.e. structures of power entail abuse of power, regardless of who wields it (see Milgram experiments some insight).
What you're suggesting is that the state have the power to control who does and does not have children. What would the criteria even be?
insightful.. to the point..
He has a close relationship with narcissism . Really close with psychopathology.
It’s not our fault that our parents struggled through life ,
A tone know how to get ahold of this guy I'm looking for a way out
Can you enable the comments in all your video please...
'"good character" refers to the qualities employers look for when they perform background checks on potential hires.' - Is this meant to clarify your position? This couldn't be more vague. Basically you're saying 'whatever the investigators, or the legislators, feel like', which is what I said.
What you're suggesting is a totalitarian process of the highest order. Why do you trust the government so much? Why is your first recourse to involve the state, and not to consider other solutions?
When I was mentally ill, I thought I was writing great stuff, but it was crap. Only when I have been mentally healthy have I ever been able to produce good work. I know people with mental illnesses that are now under control, and they all say the same thing.
Clearly, you're ignorant about the relationship between mental illness and true genius. These two things work in opposition to each other, even though they occasionally manage to coexist.
if this is true I encourage you to discover Marianne Williamson. She's changed my life.
'Psychological stability' - does this have a precise definition? Who creates the definition? You do realise that women were put away for being 'hysterical' right? What stops political dissidents or other enemies of the state being labelled 'psychologically unstable'? Again, 'good character'? 'Good' in the eyes of whom? 'Aberrant violence or extreme criminal conduct' - I thought you said it was to winnow out narcissists and psychopaths? Most of these people don't commit crimes. So ...
Wrong, the comment about them being known by others as a narc, not true, mostly they mask their image to those outside their immediate family circle and only Show Narcism toward rods their family
So 99% of instagram accounts with more than 500 followers